WEBVTT - Betrayal Weekly: EP 16 - Chelsea 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:04.080 There were no red flags. I could have seen the 0:00:04.200 --> 0:00:08.800 Eric on paper. He seemed like the perfect therapist. I 0:00:09.000 --> 0:00:13.360 shared things with them I have never said out loud, 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:18.720 and I am looking at a photo of his face 0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:25.720 being charged with the exact same things that atrumpotize me. 0:00:40.320 --> 0:00:43.720 I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:46.680 the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:55.920 change everything. This is Chelsea's story. Chelsea has a high 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:59.640 profile career, so for this episode all the names have 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:01.560 been change to protect her anonymity. 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:08.120 I really hope that one day I will be in 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:13.440 a place where I can present myself publicly and say, look, 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:15.800 this is me, this is my real name, this is 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:16.920 where I'm really from. 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:21.280 Chelsea's been through more abuse than anyone should have to experience. 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:24.920 As a child, she was trafficked by her parents. She 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:28.319 says that her experience wasn't like the movies where she 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:32.199 was kidnapped and held against her will. Instead, her mother 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.520 brought her to adults homes who groomed and sexually abused her. 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:38.480 At the time, her mom worked for a man who 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:42.360 was later charged with multiple counts of child sexual abuse. 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:45.800 Chelsea knew she needed to get away from home for good. 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:50.720 Education was my escape from home. I got scholarships, I 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:54.800 was an amazing student. I went to every opportunity I 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:58.200 could find for any sort of on the home program, 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.880 whether that was camps, whether that was college courses over 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:06.040 the summer. I used education as my way out. 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:09.760 She got a scholarship to college and stopped talking to 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:13.160 her parents. The further away she got from home, the 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:17.160 angrier she became about the abuse she experienced as a child. 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:19.800 And then there are all those feelings of betrayal of like, 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:23.160 what were all of these adults doing? Was there no 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:25.720 responsible adult in my life? 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:30.040 In order to survive, Chelsea focused on building her own 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:34.440 life and outside of home. She not only survived, she excelled. 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.800 She got an advanced degree and began a highly competitive, 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:42.760 successful career, and she threw herself into work. She says 0:02:42.760 --> 0:02:45.080 that on the outside it looked like she had it 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:49.200 all together, but on the inside it was a different story. 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:52.239 I was a scared little child walking around in like 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:57.079 an optimist prime suit. I think anyone meeting me on 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:00.000 the outside just thought, Wow, that person has it all together, 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:04.840 Like that person is invincible and deestructible. Meanwhile, I was 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:07.520 just dying on the inside. 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:12.000 She got married after college, but quickly realized she needed 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.840 to work on herself and her trauma before she could 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:18.240 invest in a successful marriage. 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:23.480 My ex husband and I were very amicably splitting up, 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:28.760 and also during that time, I was starting to confront 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:30.799 some of these things that had happened to me when 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:34.600 I was younger that were negatively impacting the way I 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:38.480 was able to show up in relationships. 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:44.520 She started working with a therapist online processing the abuses 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:47.920 from her childhood, and around the same time, she reconnected 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:51.320 with an old friend who were going to call James. 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:56.440 James began reaching out. He had also gone through a breakup, 0:03:57.360 --> 0:04:01.000 and we were kind of just processing this of us 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:06.240 both having this rebirth of rediscovering ourselves after a long 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:07.200 term relationship. 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:11.200 She and James started talking every day. After a few months, 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:12.800 she realized that. 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:15.400 There was something there we wanted to explore. It just 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:17.880 felt like he was this person who was there the 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:20.119 entire time, right under my nose. 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:26.000 James really saw her and met her where she was emotionally. 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.400 One of the things that really drew me to him 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:33.400 was just how focused he was on my emotions. It 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:37.160 felt really wonderful, and it felt really safe and really attentive, 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:41.799 and he just had such an incredible way of viewing 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:46.080 the world and was also just very cultured in a 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:47.640 way that I hadn't experienced. 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:52.080 He gave her access to a world Chelsea idealized, a 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.800 community of artists who expanded her worldview. 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:59.680 James had this whole artistic side to him, like he 0:04:59.839 --> 0:05:03.880 was a visual artist. His medium was kind of like 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:08.800 social commentary photography, but not your typical photography, like a 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:11.920 lot of like distortions of images, and I just really 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:13.240 appreciated him as an artist. 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:17.320 James came from a wealthy family and he had inherited 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:22.400 a large real estate portfolio. It met, his schedule was flexible, 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:25.919 and he had a lot of disposable income. So for 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:26.599 their third. 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:30.240 Date, I remember him standing there and just saying, this 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:33.000 might sound crazy, but are you doing anything for Thanksgiving? 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:37.279 I was like, no, I'm not. I'm estranged from most 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:39.200 of my family, so holidays are always kind of a 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:41.320 weird time. And He's like, I'm kind of doing a 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:43.919 solo thing in New York City. Would you want to 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:48.960 fly out with me? And I was like, why not, 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:54.880 Let's do this. Our third date was this week long 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:57.760 trip in New York City. Well, he planned everything and 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:04.400 it was Luber Steakhouse and amazing seats at some jazz 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:09.240 venue and going and seeing a Broadway production. I've only 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:12.160 been to New York once before. It was really amazing. 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:14.440 It was just showing me New York and it was 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:15.320 pretty incredible. 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:19.400 After their week long third date, they became a couple. 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:24.720 They lived a few hours apart, so on the weekends 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:28.720 they'd go to each other's cities, where James planned elaborate outings. 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:32.160 James was really into arts and culture, so we would 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:36.000 go to museums and see different musicians or plays and 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:40.280 it was really fun. Everything just happened so fast. It 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:41.560 felt like out of a fairy tale. 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:46.880 These dates quickly progressed into a relationship, and Chelsea says 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:50.880 that above all, being with him felt so easy, so. 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:54.240 Right, and that was something we would always say together. 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:56.760 This just seemed so easy. 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.640 One of Chelsea's friends was married to James's best friend, 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:04.080 so right away they had a community together. But that 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:08.839 also meant Chelsea's friend had seen James in prior relationships. 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:13.040 She did warn me early on that he had a 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:17.720 history of She described it as being selfish. 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:21.480 Early on, Chelsea saw a little bit of that, but 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:26.160 she didn't necessarily see it as selfish. It was more overbearing. 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:33.239 He was very concerned about my sexual history, frequently asking 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:37.520 questions about the identity of my prior partners, the number 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:38.760 of prior partners I'd had. 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:43.280 He would ask to go through her phone. She hated 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:46.680 that and it gave her pause about the relationship, so 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:50.240 she addressed it with him directly. His reply made her 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:50.760 feel better. 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:55.880 He said that he started therapy and became very open 0:07:56.800 --> 0:08:05.080 about his efforts to try to address his insecurities. He 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.840 started telling me about the therapist he started seeing, and 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:12.200 it meant a lot for me to hear this level 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:17.320 of accountability from someone. So I was willing to continue 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:19.400 to try to explore something with James. 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:24.920 Because they both believed in therapy, they started couples counseling together. 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:28.720 It was only three months into the relationship, but they 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:31.640 both wanted to improve their communication and connection. 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:34.800 I was at this place in my life where I 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:40.080 was very vulnerable but also energized to do the work 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:45.400 to heal myself, and to have James reflect that back 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:50.680 to me was really significant. I was dealing with a 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:54.680 lot of personal sexual dysfunction as a result of digging 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:59.040 into my own trauma history, and he was very open 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:03.920 to hearing about my boundaries. It was very open to 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:08.280 try to make our sexual connection a safe place. He 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:13.080 had his own sexual dysfunctions, so that was something that 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:17.840 we were able to talk about openly. And this was 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:21.280 the first relationship I had been in where I was 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:24.080 aware of those things for myself and I was communicating 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:26.080 with them, and he was very receptive to that, and 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.800 that made me feel very safe. 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:33.040 They were communicating better than ever. They were still long distance, 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:36.000 but James began staying at our place more often. 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:39.559 So James had a key to my house pretty early. 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:44.480 I worked really long and crazy hours, so I wanted 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:45.559 him to have a key so that he could just 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:47.800 let himself in and out. And had a dog at 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:49.680 the time, and he and the dog had really bonded 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:51.400 and it was nice to have him around. 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:56.199 When the pandemic started in twenty twenty, their lives officially merged. 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.679 Neither one of us wanted to be alone through that, 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:05.760 and suddenly, five months into dating, James and I went 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:09.640 from living a few hours away to we were living 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:15.280 together and me working within twenty feet of him at 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:15.960 all times. 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:21.600 Now quarantining together with Chelsea working from home, James's controlling 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:27.240 behavior returned as the couple grew closer. James couldn't hide 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:30.640 his jealous side. He became more controlling about who she 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:32.280 was talking to and why. 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:35.840 I work in a fairly male dominated industry, so most 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:42.000 of my colleagues and my team were men, and James 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:46.839 was constantly fixated on who I was talking to. He 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:49.960 would always ask, what's their story? What does that mean? 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:53.240 They say, are they married? It's like, well, I think so, 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:55.240 but what does it matter? They work for me. 0:10:56.320 --> 0:11:00.000 He became almost paranoid, and Chelsea wasn't having. 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:03.280 It, and I was getting more confident in standing up 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:07.960 for my own boundaries around my communication with other people, 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:11.960 and frankly, I was just getting sick and tired a 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.880 feeling constantly monitored by this person. 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:19.960 One day, they got into a heated argument about his behavior. 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:24.560 He insisted on going through her phone. She refused and 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.880 locked herself in the bedroom. That's when things escalated even further. 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:33.480 James, from the other side of the door, told me 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:35.640 that if I did not come out and speak to him, 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:37.520 and if I did not give him full access to 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:41.040 my phone. He was going to distribute private images of 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:42.640 me to my coworkers. 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:46.880 They were photos from early on in their relationship, photos 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:48.320 James said he would delete. 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:50.240 I spoke to him from the door and was like, 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.880 you said you deleted those, and he said, well, I didn't. 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.960 I lied to you about that. He went on to 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:00.280 say they meant a lot to me, You're just so beautifull, 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:06.440 and I wanted to keep them. And I was livid 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:11.400 that he had violated that trust. I was sick of it. 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:13.120 The fact that he had just told me that he 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.520 had images that he didn't have consent to was enough. 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:18.679 I wanted his phone, so I stepped outside that door. 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.120 I grabbed his phone. I went back inside my bedroom 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.839 and I locked the door and I went into it, 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:32.119 went back through our messages, found the images and deleted them. 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:36.319 And on an iPhone, it's not enough to delete them. 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.320 You then have to go to the deleted folder and 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:41.960 delete them from there. So when I was going to 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:48.040 the deleted folder, right below the deleted items, there's a 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:51.880 folder called the hidden folder, and I'm seeing all sorts 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:56.280 of things in this folder. I don't really know how 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:59.040 to grasp what I'm seeing, and I can feel myself 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:04.040 start to leave my own body, and I can feel 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:07.520 myself started to just float away because what I am seeing, 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:12.120 I just cannot comprehend. And while holding his phone in 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:15.080 my left hand, I take my phone in my right 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:16.680 and I just start recording. 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:37.720 Chelsea thought she and her boyfriend James were on the 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:41.480 right track, going to individual and couple's therapy, working towards 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:45.720 a healthy relationship, but during the pandemic, James's controlling behavior 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:49.200 took a dark turn when he threatened to release nude 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:53.360 pictures of Chelsea to her colleagues, picture as he said 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.600 he got rid of. When she went into his phone 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:59.000 to delete the photos herself, she discovered another folder on 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:02.959 his photo app, the hidden folder, which exists on every iPhone. 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:05.480 By the way, it's right next to the deleted folder. 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:11.120 The first thing I noticed was a series of photographs 0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:15.959 of my condom where it looked like he was documenting 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:21.280 or spying on me. That kind of triggered this, oh shit, 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:25.400 what the fuck am I looking at feeling? It looked 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:29.720 like he had maybe gone through rooms, placed objects in 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:32.760 certain places to see if they were moved between when 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:34.680 he was leaving or coming back and forth, and they 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:38.280 had date stamps on them, so that was really strange. 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:42.560 She kept scrolling through the folder, which had hundreds of 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:43.360 images in it. 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:49.480 There were whole collections of nude photos of different women. 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:53.680 She recognized some of these women. There were photos of 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:56.600 his best friend's wife, the one that was Chelsea's friend, 0:14:57.160 --> 0:15:00.080 the one that had warned her about James's selfish tendency. 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:06.640 I'm like, God, that looks like her, But why would 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.760 he have naked photos of his best friend's wife? Why 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:11.560 would he have these? 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:15.480 Right away? She called her. 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:19.200 I was like, I remember you had a tattoo on 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:23.320 your ankle. Which ankle is it on? And she told 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:27.200 me and I was like, yes, photos of you. And 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:30.520 she was just like that's not possible. I have never, never, never, 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:32.680 And I was like, no, I don't think you sent 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:35.600 these to him. I don't think you sent them. 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:39.040 Chelsea sent her friend the photos and she confirmed that, yes, 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:42.000 they were photos her husband had taken of her, but 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.280 she didn't know he shared them with anyone, much less James. 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:50.200 And you could just hear like the breath come out 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:51.720 of her, and she says, I'm going to talk. 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.160 To my husband before she hung up. 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:58.520 She asked her friend, like, there's all sorts of other 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:01.480 women in here. Do you know any of these women? 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:07.800 And she did, a lot of these were the wives 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:13.200 of James's friends. It appeared that James and his male 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:17.520 friend group were exchanging these intimate photos with each other. 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:22.520 As Chelsea kept looking through James's hidden folder, she found 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:24.040 something even more disturbing. 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:29.720 The other category of images that he had on this 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:38.640 phone were dozens of photos of children, young children, two 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:45.680 four six years old children. They were like little girls 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:49.240 in bathing suits. And I don't know if he was 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:52.520 taking these at some public park. I don't know if 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:55.920 he was taking these off of social media sites, if 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.000 some well meeting parent was posting something. 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:02.600 Her mind was racing who were these girls? And then 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:07.280 she found one particular photo, the photo, the one she'd 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:08.879 never be able to unsee. 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:12.120 The moment I looked at that photo, I knew something 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:16.240 was fucking row, something was absolutely wrong. 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:20.919 Chelsea disclosed what she saw in detail. It's too disturbing 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:24.320 to share here, but what she discovered, she clearly believed 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:27.560 was see sam or child sexual abuse material with a 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:31.160 girl's face cropped out. 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:36.040 Everything in me just told me, especially in the context 0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:38.679 of where this was kept with all of the other images. 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:41.919 I was like, this is one hundred percent something he 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:46.360 is sexually interested in, and I did not know how 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:46.879 to handle it. 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.720 She was having an out of body experience looking at 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:55.200 these photos, but at the same time she was still 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.760 in her apartment with James on the other side of 0:17:57.800 --> 0:17:59.960 the door, screaming for his phone back. 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.600 I'm just like, I can't do that. You threatened me, 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:08.840 can't do that, and he can tell my voice he 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.000 can tell. And I opened the door and I tell 0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:17.159 him you need to leave. I've seen something. I've seen something. 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:20.399 Scared of him and unsure of what to do next, 0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:23.600 she gave him back the phone. She didn't tell him 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:26.840 that she recorded anything. So he's left in a rage 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:29.840 and Chelsea quickly locked the door behind him. 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:35.720 But then he spends the entire drive back, calling over 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:41.000 and over and over again and yelling and raging and 0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:44.000 saying I'm going to turn you into the police. You 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:47.200 took something from my phone. What you just did is illegal. 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:50.520 You better delete everything. And I was just like, look, 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:52.879 I'm not talking about this. I'm not talking about it. 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:55.800 I'm not talking about it. And finally I just turned 0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:57.359 like a little and I tried to sleep. 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:02.400 When she woke up, her first thought was that picture, 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:05.040 the one with the child's face cropped out. 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:10.920 My mind went in a million directions as to why 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.040 he would have this, but I couldn't identify who the 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:16.639 kid was. Did someone take this photo and then he 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.280 just somehow found it or did he take it? 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:23.520 Day after day, the photo was all she could think about. 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.600 She talked with an attorney and described the image, but 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:29.840 he confirmed one of her fears that the image might 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:33.159 not meet the standards needed for an arrest. It was 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:38.879 right on the edge. A month after the discovery, James 0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:42.120 agreed to a joint counseling session. They hadn't seen each 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:45.640 other or talked since their fight. Chelsea wanted the support 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:49.440 of a mandated reporter, and she wanted to confront him 0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:52.760 there in a neutral environment to see if he'd confess 0:19:52.840 --> 0:19:56.119 to more. On top of all that, she was also 0:19:56.200 --> 0:19:59.720 trying to understand something that was just incomprehensible. 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:03.399 This is part of my trauma too. My go to 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:08.119 coping mechanism is denial and rationalization, and I think I 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:11.000 wanted a reason for this not to be what I 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:11.600 thought it was. 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:16.000 It might sound naive, but part of her still couldn't 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:19.359 believe this was real. She started by asking James about 0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:21.560 the photos of his friend's wives, and. 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:24.560 I said, why do you have these? Do you have 0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:28.359 permission to have these? Did she know and consent to 0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:31.200 you having these photos? He looked at me and he said, 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:35.720 I don't need her consent. It's his property. He took 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:39.840 that photo. It's his property to share with me. And 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:42.680 I wanted to puke hearing. 0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:48.959 That it was clear that he had thought about this 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:52.560 extensively and that he knew how to operate just under 0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:56.159 the radar. Finally, at the end of their session, she 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:59.440 asked about the photos of children, and that one photo 0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:01.040 in particular. 0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:06.560 And so, in the presence of the couple's counselor, I 0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:09.679 pulled out my phone and I showed him that image, 0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:13.480 and I said, what the fuck is this? When I 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:17.159 handed the phone to him with the child image, the 0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:19.919 tension in that room was just it was wild. You 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:24.280 saw him immediately start to shake. His hands started shaking. 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:30.399 He immediately said that is not a crime, There is 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:35.440 no penetration, that is not illegal. He just kept repeating that. 0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:39.800 He instantly just went into she stole things off of 0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:43.600 my phone. I'm going to prosecute her for that. And 0:21:43.960 --> 0:21:46.040 at that point he just said, I'm going to have 0:21:46.080 --> 0:21:48.919 to go talk to my attorney about your theft of 0:21:48.920 --> 0:21:52.520 information from my phone, and he left, just got out 0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:52.920 and left. 0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:59.840 She sat there stunned. Chelsea and the therapist sat in silence. 0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:03.160 They waited for James's car to leave the parking lot. 0:22:03.560 --> 0:22:07.480 Why did he even bother to come that day? Chelsea 0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:08.399 has a theory. 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:11.199 Looking back, I think he was trying to figure out 0:22:11.240 --> 0:22:13.800 what I knew, because he knew I found something and 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.280 he didn't know what I knew, And I think he 0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:18.120 was doing this to try to protect himself. 0:22:19.000 --> 0:22:22.320 Her relationship with James was over, but it was only 0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:26.760 the beginning of a horrible dilemma for Chelsea. She grappled 0:22:26.760 --> 0:22:29.720 with reporting him to the police, but she was worried 0:22:29.760 --> 0:22:31.440 that she didn't have enough evidence. 0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:35.560 I felt like what I had wasn't going to be enough. 0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:40.600 This is right on the cusp, and if I report James, 0:22:41.080 --> 0:22:42.280 what is going to happen to me? 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:47.280 Chelsea was afraid of James's wealthy, well connected family. She 0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:49.679 was also thinking of the legal threats he made and 0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:52.840 the threats about releasing photos of her. But more than that, 0:22:53.760 --> 0:22:57.359 she was afraid to report and have nothing happen at all. 0:22:58.119 --> 0:22:59.800 It took her back to the way she felt as 0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:00.480 a child. 0:23:01.560 --> 0:23:05.360 When I saw these images on James's phone, it took 0:23:05.400 --> 0:23:09.600 me back to being those children, And it was so 0:23:09.760 --> 0:23:13.920 hard not to think about what those children might have 0:23:13.960 --> 0:23:17.280 been experiencing if they were being abused. And I can 0:23:17.359 --> 0:23:20.280 report this person to the police, but is anything going 0:23:20.320 --> 0:23:25.280 to happen? And can I emotionally handle that? Can I 0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:28.679 emotionally handle having nothing happen as a result of it, 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:33.720 because unfortunately, that was the childhood thing that was playing out. 0:23:35.760 --> 0:23:38.960 I understand where Chelsea is coming from. If you've listened 0:23:39.000 --> 0:23:41.960 to season two of Betrayal, you heard Ashley Litton's story 0:23:42.440 --> 0:23:44.720 of how her husband had over one thousand images of 0:23:44.760 --> 0:23:48.160 Sea Sam in his hidden folder, but he served less 0:23:48.160 --> 0:23:52.199 than a year. These cases are wildly under prosecuted and 0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:55.679 with only one image as evidence. Chelsea's concerns were valid, 0:23:56.080 --> 0:24:00.440 or rather realistic, but that didn't change her feeling moral 0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:03.880 obligation to the girl in the photo and victims like her. 0:24:05.000 --> 0:24:10.119 My biggest priority at that point was protecting this particular 0:24:10.160 --> 0:24:10.640 little girl. 0:24:11.680 --> 0:24:14.080 She knew if she was going to report James, she 0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:16.040 needed professional support to get there. 0:24:17.160 --> 0:24:19.760 I knew I was going to need a lot of therapy, 0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:22.440 and that's how I about Eric. 0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:26.439 Eric was a therapist who checked all the boxes and 0:24:26.480 --> 0:24:30.040 then some. In fact, he'd been a prosecutor on sex 0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:32.160 crimes before he went into counseling. 0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:35.320 There were no red flags I could have seen there 0:24:37.400 --> 0:24:40.640 on paper, he seemed like the perfect therapist. 0:24:41.080 --> 0:25:01.760 But she would soon find out he wasn't. Chelsey began 0:25:01.840 --> 0:25:04.720 working with a therapist for going to call Eric, and 0:25:04.840 --> 0:25:07.840 quickly Eric became a big part of her life. She 0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:09.800 started seeing him three times a week. 0:25:10.800 --> 0:25:12.879 I felt like I was coming into that scenario with 0:25:12.960 --> 0:25:17.440 my guts pulled out. It was just like what do 0:25:17.600 --> 0:25:18.520 I do with all this? 0:25:19.680 --> 0:25:22.040 She was working up to being able to report her 0:25:22.040 --> 0:25:25.159 ex James, and she needed a safe place like Eric's 0:25:25.200 --> 0:25:29.880