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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you

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Speaker 1: love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is

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Speaker 1: not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with

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Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

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Speaker 1: for joining me for session three ninety eight of the

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our

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Speaker 1: conversation afterword from our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: Hi.

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Speaker 3: I'm doctor ke Hallman. I'm on a Therapy for Black

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Speaker 3: Girls podcast.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 3: I'm in session discussing the myth of individual success and

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Speaker 3: the transformative power of community.

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Speaker 1: We've been fortunate to have such amazing guests on the show,

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Speaker 1: which makes it all the more exciting when we get

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Speaker 1: to have them return. Today, I'm rejoined by my dear friend,

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Speaker 1: doctor Lakisha Hallman to discuss some of the themes in

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Speaker 1: her new book, No One Is Self Made, from community

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Speaker 1: care and entrepreneurship to the response and responsibility of small

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Speaker 1: business owners in the wake of corporations repealing THEI we

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Speaker 1: get into the idea of building out by first building within.

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Speaker 1: As I reflect on the last ten years of my

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Speaker 1: journey with Therapy for Black Girls, I'm especially proud of

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Speaker 1: how it inextricably linked our show. Success has been with

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Speaker 1: building community outside of the podcast, and I'm really excited

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Speaker 1: for you to hear this incredible conversation. If something resonates

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Speaker 1: with you while enjoying our conversation, please share it with

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Speaker 1: us on social media using the hashtag TVG in Session.

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Speaker 1: Here's our conversation. So it is officially launch a week.

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Speaker 1: How are you feeling?

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Speaker 2: I feel good. I feel good. I am. I feel

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Speaker 2: very grateful.

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Speaker 3: I think that's like the overwhelming feeling I just had

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Speaker 3: these moments.

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Speaker 2: I'm be like, man, God, we did that good.

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Speaker 1: So you helping the self care and all of the

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Speaker 1: grounding and everything to get through this world. One week?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I am.

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Speaker 3: I had a great workout before sitting down with you,

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Speaker 3: and then I'm gonna go for a walk a little

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Speaker 3: bit later today. I think as long as I do

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Speaker 3: those things and still have quiet time, I feel good.

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Speaker 2: Good good. I'm glad.

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Speaker 1: I figured you already had a put but I definitely

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Speaker 1: wanted to check in.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of moving directions. I

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Speaker 3: have a whole tour line up. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you got a lot to do within these next

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks. So I am very honored to have

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Speaker 1: one of my close friends, doctor Key Holman, joining us

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Speaker 1: today just talk about the launch of her new book,

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Speaker 1: No One Is Self Made. And so, doctor Key, I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of the origin story behind the book

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Speaker 1: and why it feels more urgent and more timely than

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Speaker 1: ever now, but I'd love for you to share with

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Speaker 1: our community, what was the really the impetus for writing

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Speaker 1: No One Is Self Made?

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Speaker 3: Before I answer that question, can I just say I'm

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Speaker 3: so excited to be on Therapy for Black Girls a second.

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Speaker 1: Time, second time visitor, second time.

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Speaker 2: I'm so so excited.

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Speaker 3: But answer the question around the origin story how we

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Speaker 3: got here, Doctor Joy. I've wanted to write forever. One

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Speaker 3: of my earliest childhood memories, maybe six or seven years old,

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Speaker 3: I would tell my mom and sign her Mother's Day cards,

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Speaker 3: her birthday cards, her future Author and my first time

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Speaker 3: I remember doing that, I was maybe six or seven

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Speaker 3: years old. So this has been like a dream of

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Speaker 3: mine for the entirety of my life. And I think,

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Speaker 3: what's so incredible about this time now? I couldn't have

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Speaker 3: written this book ten years ago. I couldn't have written

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Speaker 3: this book five years ago. This book is all about

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Speaker 3: divine timing because it's all about building community. And I

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Speaker 3: think we're in a place now where it's less about

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Speaker 3: talking about community. I think we realize how much we

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Speaker 3: needed and no one is self made is talking about

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Speaker 3: how to be in community, because for me, community will

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Speaker 3: be and always has been the thing to save us.

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Speaker 1: So first of all, I didn't know that story until

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Speaker 1: I read the book about you signing your cards is

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Speaker 1: your Future Author? Was so sweet and so like I

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Speaker 1: feel like manifesting, right, because that feels like very much

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Speaker 1: a you, thing that you would have done at six

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Speaker 1: years old. And I think we often think about community

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Speaker 1: really in terms of like personal stuff, right, Like, so

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Speaker 1: you think about your friendship circles, you think about like that.

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Speaker 1: I think what is unique about the way that you

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Speaker 1: talk about community is that you also talk about the

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Speaker 1: impact it has in terms of entrepreneurship and the success

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Speaker 1: of businesses. So can you talk a little bit more

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Speaker 1: about the need for community, especially as it relates to

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Speaker 1: economic success.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, I think the model for our community in particular,

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Speaker 3: or in a group that's deemed as a minority, collective economics.

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Speaker 3: Group economics is the way forward. As business owners, I

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Speaker 3: can only imagine where I would be if I had

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Speaker 3: the mindset that I have now.

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Speaker 2: I knew to build in community, but I didn't.

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Speaker 3: Necessarily know how to do so in twenty sixteen when

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Speaker 3: I was building a village market, I didn't really understand

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Speaker 3: the functioning. The functionings of success is contingent upon how

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Speaker 3: having a clear vision and values aligned ecosystem, and so

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Speaker 3: I think for entrepreneurs business owners, it's the model. It's

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Speaker 3: the model of how do we pull our resources, our

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Speaker 3: money together to go after bulk bides of inventory. How

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Speaker 3: do we pull our money together to go after office space,

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Speaker 3: warehouse space, How do we pull our money together to

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Speaker 3: share a fractional COO, a fractional CPA, all these things.

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Speaker 3: Because when you're first starting, you don't necessarily have the

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Speaker 3: capital to afford all these things. But we can do it,

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Speaker 3: and we can afford it together and beyond those tangible things,

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Speaker 3: there's nothing like having an ecosystem, a community of people

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Speaker 3: that understand what you are doing. So being in community

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Speaker 3: with like minds and sharing your startup journeys, sharing the

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Speaker 3: hard days, stressful days, it's nothing like it. It's a

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Speaker 3: place of resolve and it's also a place of solution.

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Speaker 3: I've been able to have many tough conversations with you

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Speaker 3: about business, about oh, doctor Joy, this is going on,

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Speaker 3: and we problem solve in real time together.

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Speaker 2: That is what community is, and that is what I

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Speaker 2: want us.

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Speaker 3: To start building and thinking about and putting that as

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Speaker 3: our framework on it as and how we build hmm.

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Speaker 1: You know, I appreciate you bringing in that example because

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Speaker 1: I'm remembering and reflecting on some of the very difficult

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Speaker 1: conversations we've had about like what does this even mean?

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Speaker 1: Like how do we find ourselves here? Like trying to

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Speaker 1: do these big girl things as we sometimes call it.

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Speaker 1: But I'm thinking about like when I first met you,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have been having very open conversations with you

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Speaker 1: about like finances and like, hey, I'm really struggling with

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Speaker 1: this thing in my business, which is something that you

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Speaker 1: address in no one is self made, right because in

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Speaker 1: order to say hey, let's go have on a CFO

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Speaker 1: or let's split a website design person, there's a level

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Speaker 1: of honesty and like safety, I think that has to happen.

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Speaker 1: So can you talk about how you get to that

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Speaker 1: place right in business? Because these aren't necessarily people that

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Speaker 1: you would have known from college, right, Like these are

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Speaker 1: newer relationships, Like you're a newer friend to me, right,

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Speaker 1: And so I think that there can be some heloitance

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Speaker 1: to talk very honestly about numbers and like the intricacies

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Speaker 1: of our business with people who may be fairly new

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Speaker 1: to us.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, and that's a great call out. So business relationships

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Speaker 3: is like any other relationship. I don't think you come

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Speaker 3: in on the first day making out the demands of

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Speaker 3: what you want. I think is gradual over time. How

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Speaker 3: trust is built. The way that we've been able to

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Speaker 3: collaborate in business was not from the very first time

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Speaker 3: we met. But we knew when we first met. I

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Speaker 3: knew that there was something special about you and that

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Speaker 3: you would be in my life, and I allow that

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Speaker 3: to just happen organically. I think as we go into

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Speaker 3: a community, one thing that we can control for is

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Speaker 3: the intentions that we write or as you say, manifests.

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Speaker 3: But we can be very intentional with the type of

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Speaker 3: partners we want to attract, the type of people that

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Speaker 3: we want to bring. Again to me, that is step

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Speaker 3: one being able to identify the type of collaboration that

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Speaker 3: we want to have, and then secondly going out and

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Speaker 3: being in spaces of community of like minds. So it's

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Speaker 3: not going to every entrepreneur event. It's going to entrepreneur

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Speaker 3: events that speak to you. So I'm more of a

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Speaker 3: holistic entrepreneur, so I need the wellness piece. I need

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Speaker 3: that to be married with a conference that's also talking

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Speaker 3: about scaling. The reason why that's important to me. I

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Speaker 3: can imagine there's other people like me that's going to

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Speaker 3: be in that space because we all decided to go

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Speaker 3: to the same thing. And then thirdly, from reaching out

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Speaker 3: to people and saying, hey, you know, I would love

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Speaker 3: to cop on a zoom with you, learn more about

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Speaker 3: you as a person and I share more about me

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Speaker 3: than we began to form a relationship. I think what

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Speaker 3: happens after that is that either the relationship catches own

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Speaker 3: or it doesn't. But I do not believe that you

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Speaker 3: jump into relationships saying let's go buy a building together.

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Speaker 3: I think too soon, too soon. Vulnerability takes time, Trust

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Speaker 3: takes time. What I tell entrepreneurs and folks like I

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Speaker 3: was almost ten years ago, you don't have to knock

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Speaker 3: it out of the park with your first experience. I

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Speaker 3: think that we meet people and we say, I finally

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Speaker 3: met doctor Joy. I gotta tell her everything I got

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Speaker 3: to work with her today. I think we have to

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Speaker 3: trust the evolution of relationships. I think we have to

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Speaker 3: trust that if you build organically, if someone reaches out

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Speaker 3: and talks to you from a real place, doctor Joy,

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Speaker 3: of just recognizing the gifts that you have and telling

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Speaker 3: you thank you for creating therapy for black girls, I

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Speaker 3: believe that is a deeper way to start saying I

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Speaker 3: see you in the ability of being seen. I think

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Speaker 3: we get to see other people. I love more warm

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Speaker 3: approaches rather than coming again hot with all these big

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Speaker 3: demands of what we want from business partners.

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Speaker 1: So you talk about in the book, like the importance

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Speaker 1: of recognizing other people's gifts and like trying to kind

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Speaker 1: of hire from within your village as much as possible.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we've had other conversations not you and I,

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Speaker 1: but me and other guests on the podcast, just about

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Speaker 1: some of the difficulties with boundaries when like you blend relationships. Right,

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Speaker 1: So your sister works in one of your businesses, you

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Speaker 1: have another business with two of your really close friends,

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Speaker 1: So you've really done the work of like multiple relationships

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Speaker 1: with people in your life. Can you share some about

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Speaker 1: how do you manage boundaries and like what kinds of

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Speaker 1: maybe difficult conversations have you had to have with those

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Speaker 1: people when you're extending a current relationship to from personal

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Speaker 1: to now business first?

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Speaker 2: Can we talk about boundaries?

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Speaker 3: It's necessary in everything, and it's necessary and business is

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Speaker 3: necessary when you are a leader in the world because

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Speaker 3: so much is incoming and so much is outgoing. And

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Speaker 3: so I've structured my life almost there's a fortress around

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Speaker 3: me to make sure that my mental health is strong,

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Speaker 3: my spiritual health is strong as well. But yes, I've

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Speaker 3: been able to partner with two friends, Juel and Tracy,

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Speaker 3: for our company three ten Studios. My sister, Yolanda is

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Speaker 3: my operations manager for the village. None of these relationships

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Speaker 3: were premature. What's so beautiful about Yolanda leading the way?

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Speaker 3: Yolanda is an impeccable business woman. She is so skilled

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Speaker 3: in the retail industry, and how that relationship happened, meaning

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Speaker 3: she decided to come drain me on the mission.

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Speaker 2: She was helping me interview people.

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Speaker 3: And we couldn't find the right fit. And if y'all

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Speaker 3: read the book, you're going to learn all about this.

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Speaker 3: But we couldn't find the right fit. And it hit

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Speaker 3: me one day, doctor Joyd. I was like, we're sitting

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Speaker 3: and interviewing and a person I need is a person

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Speaker 3: has always been consistent, honest, hardworking, shared within herself the

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Speaker 3: same values that I have about treating people, and also

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Speaker 3: has the experience to do what I'm striving to do.

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Speaker 3: I didn't have to look anymore. I call Yolanda and

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Speaker 3: I said, I think I've been looking for you.

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Speaker 2: You.

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Speaker 3: I think we've been interviewing people and we can't find

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Speaker 3: anyone because it's you. And she made the decision in

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Speaker 3: less than four to eight hours to uproot her life

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Speaker 3: and moved to Georgia to be on this mission with me.

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Speaker 3: And the level of trust that we have in each other,

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Speaker 3: it is beyond the physical sisterhood of sharing parents. It

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Speaker 3: is a sisterhood of what we are committed to and

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Speaker 3: bringing forth in a community. So I didn't just get

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Speaker 3: to hire a sibling. I got to be on a

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Speaker 3: mission with one of the best in the industry who

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Speaker 3: so happens to be my sister. And for Jewel and Tracy,

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Speaker 3: we've been friends now for a number of years and

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Speaker 3: this is our first time going on a venture together.

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Speaker 3: Because the timing was perfect, we didn't even overthink investing

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Speaker 3: in three ten together. Tracy found a building, reached out

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Speaker 3: to Jewel, reached out to me. We met at our friends' venue.

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Speaker 3: We sat there and we talked maybe two to three hours,

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Speaker 3: and we made a decision that we were going to

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Speaker 3: do it. It was much more than business. We all

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Speaker 3: have respect for each other. So I think if you're

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Speaker 3: going to bring a family member or a close friend on,

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Speaker 3: you have to make sure that they have respect for

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Speaker 3: you as the business woman that you are or the

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Speaker 3: businessman that you are. For all our listeners, you have

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Speaker 3: to have people that understand that you are on a

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Speaker 3: mission and on a path, and they respect that you

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Speaker 3: are the person that's appointed to do it. They're willing

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Speaker 3: to work alongside you. I have a profound respect for Jule.

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Speaker 3: I have a profound respect for Tracy and they share

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Speaker 3: the same with me, And we knew that we could

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Speaker 3: open three ten and do something and set a presidence

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Speaker 3: of what it means to put your money together and

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Speaker 3: physically go do something and not overthink it.

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Speaker 2: But for me, the.

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Speaker 3: Boundary always begins and ends with love and respect.

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Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break, we talked a

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Speaker 1: little bit about like why it feels like your book

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Speaker 1: is so important, especially in this time you and I

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Speaker 1: have not had this conversation. I purposely not talk to

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Speaker 1: you about this conversation because I wanted to save it

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Speaker 1: for the podcast. But you know, in the past couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks we have seen all of these rollbacks of

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Speaker 1: DEI programs. Specifically, I think Target, right, so, I think

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Speaker 1: Target has felt the most impactful in terms of the

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Speaker 1: Black community because I think it, at least outwardly, there

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Speaker 1: were such an incubator for new black businesses, right, Like

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Speaker 1: I know they have like put on the map some

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Speaker 1: of these brands that we all love now and like

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Speaker 1: we love that we can find it in Target. And

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Speaker 1: so lately I've been observing these conversations around like how

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Speaker 1: do we continue to support like these small business owners

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Speaker 1: if we make the choice not to support Target, And

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Speaker 1: so it feels like there is not like confusion about

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Speaker 1: whether we continue to support the business owners. It feels

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Speaker 1: like the confusion is about how and what is most

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Speaker 1: impactful to me. It feels like this is an inside

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Speaker 1: versus outside conversation, though it's hard because there is no

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Speaker 1: real place for an inside conversation. I feel like we

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Speaker 1: are trying to muddle through it right, like we're trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out, like what is the best path forward?

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Speaker 1: And this is how I feel like our books are

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Speaker 1: in conversation with one another, because I do feel like

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Speaker 1: there is a way for us to come to each

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Speaker 1: other in love, even though this is a messy situation

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Speaker 1: we're all trying to figure out, and I think sometimes

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Speaker 1: that is lost. And so I would love to hear

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Speaker 1: your thoughts about how do we move forward, because you

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Speaker 1: know so much of your platform is like around collective economics,

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Speaker 1: and it feels hard to do that when we can't

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Speaker 1: really get on one accord about like what the path

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Speaker 1: forward looks like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and thank you for asking me that question.

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Speaker 3: I share in the overwhelming feeling that I feel that

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Speaker 3: many of us had with Target. We were like, oh no,

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Speaker 3: not Target, not Target.

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Speaker 2: Because yeah, not tar Jack, not tar Jay.

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Speaker 3: But you landed on Why it mattered, it's because how

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Speaker 3: they stood, it's how they stood out is the bold

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Speaker 3: steps that they were taking to ensure that diversity, equity,

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Speaker 3: and inclusion were power statements well, an affirmation of how

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Speaker 3: they were going to coexist with us in the world.

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Speaker 3: And for them to roll back that, it's like, auh,

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Speaker 3: you were doing so well standing, why must you sit

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Speaker 3: now when we need you to stand? And because of that,

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Speaker 3: it left our community in a sense of discombobulation. Some

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Speaker 3: felt in many feel Target would never get a dollar

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Speaker 3: of mine again. Others may feel only black brands would

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Speaker 3: get my money at Target. But I think what many

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Speaker 3: people feel is a sense it's a betrayal, and either

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Speaker 3: one of those solutions or how we decide to move

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Speaker 3: is a sense of betrayal there because we expected better

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Speaker 3: for a corporation that said they understood our value, and

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Speaker 3: that is a betrayal, being a let down of values.

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Speaker 3: I want to remind all the incredible listeners not everybody

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Speaker 3: participated in the montgovernment bus boycott.

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Speaker 2: I know it.

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Speaker 3: It appeared like we were all on the same page.

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Speaker 3: But we don't know what those closed door conversations were being.

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Speaker 3: We don't know how many doors would slam, how many arguments,

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Speaker 3: how many tough conversations.

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Speaker 2: We don't know that.

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Speaker 3: So what happens on social media we get to see

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Speaker 3: it played out loud. We don't have the safety of

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Speaker 3: privacy on social media because I do believe that people

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Speaker 3: have to respectfully and can respectfully disagree with each other.

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Speaker 3: But what broke my heart joy is that we began

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Speaker 3: in this process to turn our folks on each other

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Speaker 3: when the focus should have been solely on these corporations.

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Speaker 3: We began to attack each other, and that is not

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Speaker 3: the solved. We can respectfully disagree, but we have to

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Speaker 3: remember that we are not each other's enemy. We are

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Speaker 3: not the people that created this. So there is no

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Speaker 3: time to then start to tear down your sister or

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Speaker 3: your brother. We are one functioning body that may have

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Speaker 3: different ideas on what the body needs, but we are

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Speaker 3: one functioning body. So I have a great deal of

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Speaker 3: respect and empathy that this has been a trying time.

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Speaker 2: But I also want us to know that this.

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Speaker 3: Is a trying time that we did not create in

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Speaker 3: order to exist in this moment. And to survive this moment,

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Speaker 3: we have to recenter our gaze not on each other,

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Speaker 3: but on.

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Speaker 2: Who was the steward of this discord.

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Speaker 3: And it wasn't us. And so I write about the

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Speaker 3: book the power of our Words. I write about the

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Speaker 3: book and how that we must hold each other with

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Speaker 3: delicate hands even if we disagree.

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Speaker 2: Because that's okay.

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Speaker 3: It's totally okay to disagree, but it's not okay for

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Speaker 3: us to become harmful with our words and with our

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Speaker 3: fingers towards each other.

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Speaker 1: M Yeah, And I really appreciate you saying that, because

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Speaker 1: it does feel like that is very much the function

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Speaker 1: of white supremacy, right like that, now we are fighting

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Speaker 1: with one another, and the onus is not on the

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Speaker 1: corporations anymore, right like now, it is us figuring it

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Speaker 1: out for ourselves. So I really appreciate that. I want

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Speaker 1: to take a step back and think about where did

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Speaker 1: this idea that we had to be self made even

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Speaker 1: come from? Where did this idea of that's the only

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Speaker 1: way that success looks is that you are self made

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Speaker 1: and like nobody helped you to get there.

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Speaker 3: I think our country unfortunately sits on the foundation of individualism,

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Speaker 3: and I think if its seats in the roots of individualism,

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Speaker 3: then you're going to have things like self made. And

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Speaker 3: I would tell you in our own community, when we

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Speaker 3: call each other self made, I think the only intention

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Speaker 3: there is to say I'm proud of you. You did that,

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Speaker 3: you made a way out of no way, as my

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Speaker 3: grandma would say. I think that is what our intentions

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Speaker 3: are in that. But I think as a culture, as

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Speaker 3: a consciousness, we are communal people.

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Speaker 2: So even on my.

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Speaker 3: Best day in business, even with the release of no

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Speaker 3: one is self made, even with sisterhood heels, there are

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Speaker 3: many players that contributed to us being able to write books,

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Speaker 3: to own businesses, to be leaders. When we champion self made,

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Speaker 3: I believe we erase those people, and that is not

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Speaker 3: our intention. I believe that we erase the players who

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Speaker 3: were so influential on our journey. But I think we

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Speaker 3: get in as a country and we're talking about business owners.

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Speaker 3: I think self made comes from an individualistic mindset, and

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Speaker 3: that individualistic mindset is causing peril in our community. We

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Speaker 3: need to shout to the raptors that we are a

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Speaker 3: village made, that I'm a reflection of a number of

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Speaker 3: people who assisted in my greatness, and I'm not taken

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Speaker 3: away from the level of self determination, self reliance it

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Speaker 3: takes to achieve the things that we've achieved. You must

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Speaker 3: answer the individual call in your life. But I also

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Speaker 3: know that there are many people that assist us on

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Speaker 3: our best day and also be there for us on

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Speaker 3: our worst day. And that is what I'm hoping that

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Speaker 3: our community get back to. We must return to community.

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Speaker 3: Community is the only thing that would propel us forward,

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Speaker 3: and we have to divorce divorced mindsets of individualism. We

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Speaker 3: have to divorce constructs that have never pushed us forward

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Speaker 3: but hold us back. It is not good enough for

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Speaker 3: one of us to succeed. It is to our betterment

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Speaker 3: that we have a functioning body that many of us

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Speaker 3: are rising at the same time.

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Speaker 2: And that's the story that we're telling.

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Speaker 1: The other book, you talk about like six different rules

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Speaker 1: that you feel like are important for a community to

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Speaker 1: be successful or for a business to be successful, and

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Speaker 1: I really love the breakdown of that. So would you

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Speaker 1: talk about those six different types and how people might

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Speaker 1: figure out like who they are within their own communities.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to get too much away to our listeners,

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Speaker 3: but I will say for people who feel they are builders.

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Speaker 3: I wrote something for you, people who feel that they

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Speaker 3: are those that can cast and see a vision into

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Speaker 3: a future.

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Speaker 2: Futurist, I wrote something for you in this book.

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Speaker 3: The reason why I broke it and broke down these six

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Speaker 3: functionings of a community because in order for us to

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Speaker 3: build in community, we have to know where our gifts lie.

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Speaker 3: In order for me to know that if I'm a

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Speaker 3: futurist and a builder, and I need to make sure

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Speaker 3: that I attract more cheerleaders, that I attract more observers, y'all,

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Speaker 3: I'm giving y'all nuggets in a book, more observers in

441
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,239
Speaker 3: the village. You have to know what you possess in

442
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 3: order to know what you need. And so I'm hoping

443
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 3: as people come to that chapter, I hope that you

444
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 3: also reminded that your gifts are powerful and needed. So,

445
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 3: if you function as a cheerleader, you have power and

446
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 3: being a cheerleader. If you're functioning as an observer, we

447
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 3: need all your wisdom. If you're functioning as a futurist,

448
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 3: make sure you're a partner with a builder so we

449
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 3: can make sure those things that you're envision they actually

450
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,199
Speaker 3: come to be But the reason why doctor Jorye this

451
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 3: chapter and breaking it down meant so much to me

452
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 3: is because I meet people often that say, doctor Key,

453
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,920
Speaker 3: I don't even know where to start a doctor Key,

454
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,360
Speaker 3: I don't really know what gives the talents that I possess.

455
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 3: I got six for you, and I bet they're somewhere

456
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 3: in that six you will see yourself, and there's somewhere

457
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 3: in your six you're going to see other people in

458
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 3: your community.

459
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 2: And as those people begin to come to your.

460
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 3: Mind, I need you to write their names down, because

461
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 3: you could be writing a blueprint for your team. You

462
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 3: could be writing a blueprint for the community that you're

463
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 3: going to foster and create.

464
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: You talk about this, and I really appreciate that, because

465
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 1: you're talk in the book about not really feeling afraid

466
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 1: of the vision once you had it right. And I

467
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: think that that is where a lot of us get stuck,

468
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 1: that we kind of start thinking about something. It's like,

469
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 1: I don't even know where to start with this. This

470
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: feels really scary. What would you tell people about pushing

471
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 1: past any fear they have along that vision?

472
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 3: Absolutely, listen, so many people have done things scared and

473
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 3: they did it anyway. I will say this in twenty

474
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 3: twenty five. I need you to do it, afraid if

475
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 3: you're consistently getting the vision and it keeps coming back

476
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 3: to you and back to you. One of my favorite

477
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 3: movies is The Color Purple, and I remember sug Avery

478
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 3: talking about it. She can't sleep at night, and she

479
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 3: wonders why, because God is trying to tell her something.

480
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 3: If you are an entrepreneur and that vision keeps coming

481
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 3: back to you and you can't sleep at night, it's

482
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,679
Speaker 3: because there is something for you to birth.

483
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 2: It is something for you to do.

484
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 3: Let you hear from me. You are capable of doing it.

485
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 3: And there is no such thing as a perfect process.

486
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 3: There are moments when you get full body yess and

487
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 3: then the world be like, no, sit down, No, I

488
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 3: need you to stand back up. I need you to

489
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,159
Speaker 3: stand back up because this is a critical time.

490
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 2: For us to be alive.

491
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 3: I think it is upon our destiny, doctor Joy, to

492
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 3: be alive at such a time as this. And so

493
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 3: if you are the person that nagging thing keeps coming

494
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 3: in twenty five, in twenty twenty six, twenty twenty seven,

495
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: we need you to do it.

496
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 2: This is such a time for us to be alive.

497
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 3: But I am so inspired in fuol by it, So listeners,

498
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 3: all the collective, I need you to build anyway.

499
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 2: I need you to build anyway.

500
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: One other thing that I was really inspired by in

501
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: the book is that you are very transparent about mistakes

502
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: that you have made along the way, right, And I

503
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: think a lot of times people who are on the

504
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: outside don't know that, like, of course you're humans or

505
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,719
Speaker 1: you're making mistakes. But I think sometimes we mask it

506
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: really well, like people just don't know the inner workings.

507
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: So what can you say that you've learned about making

508
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 1: mistakes as entrepreneurs that you would maybe want other entrepreneurs

509
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: to know.

510
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 3: Yes, first, I'll say the reason why I wrote that

511
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 3: chapter in such a way, with such level of vulnerability,

512
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 3: because we need to start to humanize success. So when

513
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 3: others have set back to what the perception of failures,

514
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 3: you can say, oh wait, doctor Key had hard moments,

515
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 3: doctor Joy had hard moments, and keep thinking of entrepreneurs

516
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 3: because in our truth telling, we empower other people to

517
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 3: be perfectly imperfect. So I wrote that chapter from an

518
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 3: open space in my heart because I want people to

519
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 3: see the human and the humanity and what it means

520
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:19,199
Speaker 3: to build something, and the hard stuff for me and

521
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 3: those tough lessons I've learned the reason why I can

522
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 3: get on here and talk to you about them now,

523
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 3: doctor Joy. I just allowed them to empower me. I'm

524
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 3: in a place in my life and my headset in

525
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 3: mind space is that if I go through a hard moment,

526
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 3: I just want to know the lesson. I want to

527
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 3: know what is this moment trying to reveal to me

528
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 3: about myself, less about people, but about me, Because I

529
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 3: think as we get to know and understand ourselves more,

530
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 3: we can better discern people. But we have to know

531
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 3: and do and have a strong understanding of who we are.

532
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 3: But I really take my lessons on my hard lessons

533
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 3: on the chin, and sometimes I take my hard lessons

534
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 3: in my prayer room, and sometimes I take my hard

535
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 3: lessons to save spaces of my friend groups. And sometimes

536
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 3: I take those hard lessons to my family and those

537
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 3: who I know that I can confide in. But I

538
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 3: don't allow those lessons to just sit. I apply them

539
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 3: so I can ensure that I am building better and

540
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 3: that I understand why I experienced it so I don't

541
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 3: make the same mistake again. I just open myself for growth,

542
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 3: I don't learn lessons and also have the perception that

543
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 3: I've somehow I'm at the pinnacle and I never have

544
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 3: a hard moment again. The other part about experiencing hard

545
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 3: things is know that you can survive hard things. So

546
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 3: every tough lesson, especially as I was writing that chapter,

547
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 3: I remember in my draft stage, I told myself, and

548
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 3: you survived it, and you are still here. You are

549
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 3: here and you're even better. So for entrepreneurs and people

550
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 3: change agents who are building and they you may be

551
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 3: experienced in a very rough moment right now, you will

552
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 3: survive it. And if you sit with the lesson and

553
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 3: you ask the lesson, what are you trying to reveal

554
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 3: in me? I believe that you will have some truths

555
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 3: that's edifying to you to ensure that you're on a

556
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 3: more focused and structured path.

557
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: I think one of the things that sets you apart

558
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: as an entrepreneur and like the way that you have

559
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 1: built your business and also the businesses that you have

560
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: helped to build and help to set a path forward for,

561
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: is that there has always been a very intentional focus

562
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 1: on wellness and mental health. Why has that been important

563
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 1: to you to be a cornerstone in so much of

564
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: the work that you've done.

565
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 3: Because that is the most important thing. I am not

566
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 3: on a path, doctor Jordan. I want our people to

567
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: be economically liberated. I want to be economically liberated, and

568
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 3: I also think what should come before that, what should

569
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 3: lead that charge, is making sure that we have peace

570
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 3: in our soul, that our bodies are well, that our

571
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 3: mindsets are well. That is the difference and the clear

572
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 3: distinction of how I do and build all my work.

573
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 3: I take this as a holistic approach. I do not

574
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 3: want the wealth without the help.

575
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 2: And if I have to.

576
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 3: Make a conscious choice, Doctor Joy, if I got met

577
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 3: with key, you can have health, you can have wealth.

578
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 3: I'd be like Hollo wealth because I got to be

579
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 3: here sound mind and sound body. I want to love

580
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 3: the body that I'm in. I want to have peace

581
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 3: in my mind. And for us to achieve economic liberation,

582
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 3: for us to heal the collect the body, then healing

583
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 3: has to be in the roots of what we are building.

584
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 3: It's no time now to only focus on building businesses

585
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 3: and scaling. You can't simply do that any longer. The

586
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: time now is like, let me ensure that I an well,

587
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 3: because if I one well, and I'm partnering with someone

588
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 3: else will then we have an opportunity to do something transformative.

589
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 3: It's no longer the time for just I'm just focusing

590
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 3: on seven eight, nine figure companies. That is not our focus, y'all.

591
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 3: That is not the mission. The mission is to be

592
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 3: in well mind, body, spirit, and soil that would lead

593
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 3: the type of entrepreneurs and founders and leaders. And the

594
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 3: way that we would interact with those on our team,

595
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 3: the way that we would position ourselves in community, the

596
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 3: way that we will operate in the privileges that comes

597
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 3: with success, the way that we would handle when hard

598
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 3: moments come when you're successful, those hard moments when you

599
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 3: grow and reach another stage nobody prepares you for. It's

600
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 3: also hard. But if you've done the spiritual work, if

601
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 3: you've done the mindset work, then you would have a

602
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 3: spirit in a community. Then nothing would be able to

603
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 3: break and shake.

604
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 1: You one for my conversation after the break. So support

605
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: is a verb is one of your most popular mantras,

606
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: One of my favorite things that you say, and it's

607
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: really permeated like your work with the village and comes

608
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 1: through clear in the book. What does it look like

609
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: to move towards a more active, kind of intentional mode

610
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 1: of supporting one another versus maybe more passive.

611
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 2: Great question. Listen, Michelle Obama.

612
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 3: Our forever first Lady, said, it is the time to

613
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 3: do something. Support is a verb, is about action, y'all.

614
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 3: It is time for us to live a life where

615
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 3: we are actually doing well. We're actually physically operating in

616
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 3: a community that if you love black businesses, then you

617
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 3: should be patronizing those businesses. If you are passionate about

618
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 3: getting people registered to vote, then make sure that you're

619
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 3: getting people registered. If you're passionate about helping people with

620
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 3: their wellness, you need to make sure that your social

621
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 3: media content is actually saying that in doing that. This

622
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 3: is the time to be highly activated. I want us

623
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,720
Speaker 3: to have time to reflect. I want us there's power

624
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 3: in stillness. But after we have been still, there's power

625
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 3: in the way that we do things. Back to the

626
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,399
Speaker 3: question on wellness, When you take care of yourself, when

627
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 3: the's time for you to activate, when it's time for

628
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,439
Speaker 3: you to do the way the force that you're going

629
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 3: to be because of the way that you're operating, in

630
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 3: the way that you're mobilizing. But this is a time

631
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 3: of profound action. Nothing passive about this time that we're in. Now,

632
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 3: we get to be transformative, and that is the pursuit

633
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 3: I believe that we should all be on now.

634
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,400
Speaker 1: So I think in conjunction with our action, we know

635
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 1: that there are some systemic beg briers that also need

636
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 1: to change. What kinds of things would you lay out

637
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 1: for people who to have a conversation with like their

638
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 1: legislator or people who actually have the bower to change

639
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: some of these systemic things? What kinds of changes would

640
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: you like to see in the interest of black businesses?

641
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 3: And I'll say this, doctor Joy, I write in the

642
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 3: book a great deal of those systemic things. So I

643
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 3: want the readers to know that I grounded this book

644
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 3: and a great deal of research, because we're not writing

645
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 3: from a place of with reality sitting on the other

646
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 3: side of it.

647
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 2: Reality is what it is.

648
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 3: And so Number one, the way that we can advocate

649
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 3: for black businesses in a black community is showing up

650
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 3: for council meetings that we are aware of what's going on,

651
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,760
Speaker 3: or referendums and things that's on the ballot.

652
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:51,760
Speaker 2: All of that is awareness.

653
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,399
Speaker 3: The more we show up, the more that we can

654
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 3: advocate for, because then people are not making decisions When

655
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 3: our voice is not in a room, so many decisions,

656
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,800
Speaker 3: so many decisions are made for us because we simply

657
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 3: would not show up. But as I see that there

658
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 3: has been a lot of conversation on federal contracts and

659
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 3: removing exclusion for minority owned businesses, we need to be

660
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 3: fighting that. We need to be fighting against that. So

661
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 3: much wealth in this country has been made due to

662
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 3: federal contracts. So we need to be asking on the city, state,

663
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 3: federal level, what are we doing about contracts, How are

664
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 3: we going to ensure that they're equitable, and what does

665
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 3: it mean to roll back the How does that impact

666
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 3: my black business? How does that impact me? And what

667
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 3: are you going to do about it? And so I

668
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 3: think we have to be very clear on what we're

669
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 3: fighting for. But you raise a good point. I do

670
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 3: think it's time for us to get into our friends

671
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 3: groups and grow that group and we start to think

672
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,839
Speaker 3: about what are our demains. As people are asking us

673
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 3: to vote for them, then what do we want from them?

674
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 3: If they want our vote and they will work for us,

675
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 3: then what should they be working for. So our conversations

676
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 3: have to start changing in our friend groups and in

677
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 3: our community groups. We need to start thinking about the

678
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,879
Speaker 3: things that we want and it can't be the thing

679
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 3: that will only benefit you. We're moving away from individualism.

680
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,400
Speaker 3: What is the thing that you may have a privilege

681
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 3: and it doesn't even impact you, but you know that

682
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 3: it impacts a number of people. That is what we

683
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 3: need to be fighting for. And so doctor Dreward put

684
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 3: the onus back on the community here. Our conversations with

685
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 3: our friends need to evolve and we need to think

686
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 3: about we can't only operate from the places of our privilege.

687
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 3: Privilege gives you, even if you don't want it, a

688
00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 3: blind spot, that blind what have you advocating for things

689
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 3: that only advance you but would impact the body? So

690
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 3: we have to get away from our privileges and think

691
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 3: about what is best for the body. That's what we

692
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 3: need to operate and start asking and holding people accountable for.

693
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: So, how do you pop that people engage with no

694
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 1: one and self made? And what are maybe some of

695
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 1: the major takeaways you'd hope they leave with.

696
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 3: You know, doctor joy, I wrote this book and you

697
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 3: read it. I wrote this book in a way that

698
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 3: it is very conversational. I don't think that there is

699
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 3: any space in this book that is hard to digest.

700
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 3: I did that intentionally. So the first thing that I

701
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 3: want the reader to feel is love. I wrote this

702
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 3: book from a place of love for our community and

703
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 3: my belief in what our community can achieve. I also

704
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 3: wanted to write this book for people who feel extremely

705
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 3: lonely and lost. I want this book to be your companion.

706
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 3: You got my voice in your hair, you are not

707
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 3: You got an advocate. I also want readers to take

708
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 3: away from this book that they begin to identify and

709
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:21,959
Speaker 3: ask themselves from reflection questions. Every chapter ends with deep

710
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 3: reflection questions that really moves you to action. Because by

711
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,399
Speaker 3: the time we make it to chapter eight, the way

712
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 3: that you're thinking, the way that you're moving, I hope

713
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 3: will change or evolve or being handsd. But what I'm

714
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:41,760
Speaker 3: hoping the biggest, biggest, biggest takeaway, Doctor Joy, I want

715
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 3: the readers to know that the stuff that I'm talking

716
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,720
Speaker 3: about this is not something that can happen thirty forty

717
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 3: years from now.

718
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:49,360
Speaker 2: It can happen now.

719
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 3: It's just a sum of our daily choices that we

720
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 3: can experience the warmth of our community now. It depends

721
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:03,359
Speaker 3: on how we decide to move. It depends on how

722
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 3: the steps that we take to heal. And so this

723
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 3: book for me is a love offering from the center

724
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 3: place of my heart. I believe so much in our community.

725
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 3: I see us, and I only leave inspire. I have

726
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,399
Speaker 3: goose bumps when I think about the goodness that we

727
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 3: possess as a collective in what is possible if we

728
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 3: operate as one moving body towards with the same values,

729
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 3: in the same way that we decide this is the

730
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,439
Speaker 3: way we're gonna treat each other. This is the way

731
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,760
Speaker 3: that we're going to operate and take care of the body.

732
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 3: When we build businesses, we're gonna make sure that we

733
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 3: treat people well who decide to be on our team

734
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 3: with us. All of that is a palm of our choices.

735
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 1: I think that many people will leave very inspired and

736
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 1: move to action, as you hope they will.

737
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 2: They read it.

738
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: So let us know where we can stay connected with you,

739
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: and where can we get our copy of No One

740
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 1: Is Self Made?

741
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 3: No One Is Self Made is available everywhere books are sold,

742
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 3: so all those major major retailers. I also want you

743
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,280
Speaker 3: to check with your local bookstores. Shout out to local

744
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 3: but you can go to No One at Self Made

745
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 3: dot com no Www, No One at Self Made dot Com.

746
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,280
Speaker 3: You can learn a little bit more about the book

747
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 3: and you can purchase the book. Y'all purchase the book.

748
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:32,280
Speaker 3: If you want to join me on tour, it's laid

749
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 3: out there. I hope to see you in real time.

750
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 3: And if you want to keep up with me on

751
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:40,240
Speaker 3: social it's doctor Keith Hallman. I spend the most time

752
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 3: on Instagram and a little time on LinkedIn, but I

753
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 3: hope to be able to connect with you as you

754
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 3: read the book and Doctor Joy, I wish I want

755
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 3: to tell you thank you. Thank you for being my friend,

756
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 3: thank you for being my sister. And when you all

757
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 3: read the book you will see what I mean that

758
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 3: Doctor Joy is is sisterhood and action. But you got

759
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 3: to read the book to see what I'm talking about.

760
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 1: Such a little call outs and E says there, But

761
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I appreciate you joining me and

762
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 1: do hope again that people will go out and grab

763
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 1: their copy of No One Is Self Made. Thank you

764
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: for being here. I'm so glad Doctor Key was able

765
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: to join me for this conversation to learn more about

766
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 1: her or to grab a copy of No One Is

767
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: Self Made. Check out the show notes at Therapy for

768
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: Blackgirls dot com slash Session three ninety eight, and don't

769
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 1: forget to text this episode to two of your girls

770
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: right now.

771
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 2: Did you know?

772
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:42,880
Speaker 1: You can leave us a voicemail with your questions for

773
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 1: the podcast. If you want to suggest other movies or

774
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 1: books for us to review, or even give us thoughts

775
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 1: around topics you'd like to hear discussed on the podcast.

776
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 1: Drop us a message at Memo dot fm slash Therapy

777
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: for Black Girls and let us know what's on your mind.

778
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 1: We might just answer your question on the podcast asked.

779
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 1: If you're looking for a therapist in your area, visit

780
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 1: our therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory.

781
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Elise Ellis and Tyree Rush.

782
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much

783
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: for joining me again this week. I look forward to

784
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:22,919
Speaker 1: continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care,