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Speaker 1: Today aft up by having sex dog.

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Speaker 2: A style that sounds like, uh like not a mess up.

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Speaker 2: It just it sounds like like you did you know,

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Speaker 2: uh a tried and true a tried and true position.

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Speaker 1: And also I don't know why it made me think

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Speaker 1: of do you know James Carville.

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Speaker 2: Cajun style Cajun style? No, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: He's just crazy, like he looks like a like a

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Speaker 1: white pencil. He's just like crazy, like, uh, funny democrat

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Speaker 1: guy who says Cajun style. That's like catchphrase?

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Speaker 2: So now is is the okay o piece? Like like

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Speaker 2: new catchphrase is going to be style dog style? Yes, okay,

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Speaker 2: it's like uh like, oh, we're telling these stories.

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Speaker 1: Raw from behind to the bone.

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Speaker 2: Like a doggie. Layers, there's layers like this is what

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Speaker 2: peak comedy looks.

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Speaker 1: We're actually comedians. We're actually we're two white guys of

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Speaker 1: the podcast with a comedic tone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was, I was. I was telling John earlier

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Speaker 2: that I went to this like comedy show and it

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Speaker 2: was like things that things that people like like it

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Speaker 2: was it was the concept of the song was things

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Speaker 2: that no one has ever said before, but that have

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Speaker 2: been actually said before like a million times, and one

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Speaker 2: of them was like two white guys sitting in a

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Speaker 2: room discussing, like, bro, we're so funny, like like if

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Speaker 2: someone could just record our conversations, like people would actually

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Speaker 2: listen to it. And that is a thought we had,

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Speaker 2: And here we are, you're listening.

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Speaker 1: So haha, we have, you know, an audience that have

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Speaker 1: built something. So there's something here.

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Speaker 2: There's something here, you know. I think I think we

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Speaker 2: have something, John, I think we know. All the months before,

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Speaker 2: you know, I wasn't sure. But now now I think

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Speaker 2: we got something validated, validated. Thank you for validating us,

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Speaker 2: because lord knows, my mother never did a rough truth.

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Speaker 1: Speak speaking of things that are rough back to our story.

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Speaker 2: Just kidding my mom Valadi.

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Speaker 1: She's loving and direct and direct.

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Speaker 2: In case he's like watching right now, just kidding, never watch.

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Speaker 1: Oh Sue for too So yes, it's true. No it's

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Speaker 1: not a bait. And I am still suffering the consequences.

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Speaker 2: Goodness, gracious, doggy style dude. And it's not nine months later.

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Speaker 2: This is just like, oh, well, yeah, I'll see there

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Speaker 2: might be about to get some ancestry dot com kind

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Speaker 2: of Those are my favorite stories.

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Speaker 1: They are truly insane. One more small side note, Uh,

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Speaker 1: Josh from Judges has his own DNA test story. His

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Speaker 1: his I believe his brother is actually his half his

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Speaker 1: sibling was his half sibling, but the family already knew that,

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Speaker 1: they just hadn't told them. So yeah, it's red at

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Speaker 1: I RL they had. He had his own DNA test extravaganza.

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Speaker 1: But what is the steps Oh, his it's his sibling

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Speaker 1: is just his half sibling. And everyone knew except for

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Speaker 1: the two of them.

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Speaker 2: Did they? So? Like, who who was raised under.

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Speaker 1: Josh's true Josh's biological dad, I believe essentially just had

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Speaker 1: his half sibling as his own child, even though the

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Speaker 1: dad wasn't biologically related to them.

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Speaker 2: Oh so Josh still has two bioparents his brother has

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Speaker 2: one bio.

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Speaker 1: I believe that was the situation. Wow, and they were shocked,

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Speaker 1: and then they brought to everyone. They're like, yeah, we

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Speaker 1: have all aunts, uncles, grandparents. Everyone's like, it's like Josh's

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Speaker 1: brother's black. There's I feel like there's something here. One

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Speaker 1: of these things isn't quite like the other.

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Speaker 2: I think it's like you don't think about that when

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Speaker 2: you're a kid. No, no, no, yeah, Like I think

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Speaker 2: of some of like, don't. I don't know if you've

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Speaker 2: ever had like adopted friends or whatever, but it's like

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Speaker 2: you don't you don't think that your parents look different

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Speaker 2: than you. And then you're like, oh, I guess my parents.

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Speaker 2: I'm not adopted, but I'm like, I'm guessing that.

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Speaker 1: I've had friends that were adopted that I'm like, you

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Speaker 1: literally look like your parents. Like I don't know what

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Speaker 1: it was.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, true, he could go the other way too.

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Speaker 1: I just like it might just be my brain but

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Speaker 1: associated that with them, so bam bam. Sorry. Friday evening,

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Speaker 1: my partner and I engaged in some fun activities. You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: Uh, throw a bone? Oh yeah, eating that meat, eating

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Speaker 2: that meets.

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Speaker 1: Right in the jelly. And at this point he decided

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Speaker 1: to do me from behind, and I started feeling ill.

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Speaker 2: Oh like it's in like bowel movements. Ill.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he decided to do it to me from behind.

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Speaker 1: I started feeling ill. I let's see then not at all?

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Speaker 1: Oh God, like I'm feeling ill? What am I doing?

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Speaker 1: Then he turned me around missionary and I started feeling dizzy.

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Speaker 2: Man, it's just spinning this lady the way.

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Speaker 1: I have thought, Like I remember it's like like a

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Speaker 1: like a teenager, like what if you just put like

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Speaker 1: put the woman on your dick and just like spinner

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Speaker 1: around like those you know washing like a washing or

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Speaker 1: like the wheel of fortune, you know, or you know

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Speaker 1: what's the the big wheel that they spent. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: just like what happens if you do that? Is that?

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Speaker 1: Like good?

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Speaker 2: I wonder, I wonder what your search history like.

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Speaker 1: I never seed it. I just I just I just

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Speaker 1: thought of it as like, oh, this would be like

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Speaker 1: you know, you just have these these strange sexual thoughts

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Speaker 1: when you're in your in your adolescence and it just

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Speaker 1: came from behind. I was like, oh, what if that like?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, chicks would probably dig that. I

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Speaker 1: remember thinking that as well.

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Speaker 2: Next thing, you know, I haven't I haven't been in

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Speaker 2: John's room in a couple of weeks. But uh, let's

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Speaker 2: just say there's a wheel of renovation.

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Speaker 1: We might have had some renovations done.

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Speaker 2: Just imagining like like yeah, yeah, that's hilarious. But you know,

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Speaker 2: if we were to think about like how that would

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Speaker 2: actually work, you would have to put like but in

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Speaker 2: the middle, or maybe it could be like a glory

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Speaker 2: whole kind of deal. Where it's.

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Speaker 1: My imagination was, Yeah, the woman is spinning and the

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Speaker 1: guy is.

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Speaker 2: Just is she like, is she like? Is she like this?

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Speaker 1: I believe, I believe, I believe for like this. That

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Speaker 1: was how I envisioned it in my I feel like

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Speaker 1: that that my thirteen year old brain.

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Speaker 2: I feel like that those puzzle pieces would be tough.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, it was. It was a very you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of engineering, A lot of u c l

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Speaker 1: A Engineering would be needed to pull.

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Speaker 2: The Yeah, let's let's get the endine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll pull. We'll pull U c l a's finest

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Speaker 1: to put him on the job a shark tank.

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Speaker 2: We're ready for you, We're coming.

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Speaker 1: Say I went to u c l A Engineering, by

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Speaker 1: the way.

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Speaker 2: That's yes, that's that's that's that's inside jokes. I was

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Speaker 2: a failed engineering.

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Speaker 1: Hell failed in such a beautiful way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know, I would say it was a

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Speaker 2: flop that led to success. Yeah, because really if I

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Speaker 2: won as an engineer, I would be sad in life.

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Speaker 1: That's you know, lose, losing all around, losing all around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I would have been a quality assurance engineer.

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Speaker 1: Which is basically like that's a hairld.

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Speaker 2: But for big companies, and it's like, this is just

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Speaker 2: not up to code, and then I give them a

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Speaker 2: fine and then everyone hates me, and then I go.

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Speaker 1: I will I will pass on that on that career. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's und all right, let's see fifth sentence here, Okay,

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Speaker 1: here we go. He noticed and stopped and asked if

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Speaker 1: I was okay. Of course, I said, it must be

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Speaker 1: my low blood pressure. I thought giving it a minute

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Speaker 1: would make it better. Spoiler alert, it got way worse.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness is great.

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Speaker 1: How can it doesn't?

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Speaker 2: It sounds it's not a Reddit story If it doesn't

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Speaker 2: get that's way worse.

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Speaker 1: Is it a true Reddit story if it if it

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Speaker 1: just gets better from you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is this today today? Yeah, see the hap that's.

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Speaker 1: True because it's a dominant effect.

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Speaker 2: It's the it's the law of compound, the law of compound,

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Speaker 2: and Reddit stories compound.

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Speaker 1: But that's we should create our own like investment platform

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Speaker 1: where it's like, you know, how today I fed up?

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Speaker 1: It's every funk up gets worse. Well, that's what we're

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Speaker 1: doing to your money, except for anti fucking anti investment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah a fu, yeah, a f you investment?

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Speaker 2: A FU? What's that drink where it's like uh uh

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Speaker 2: like it's like a fu or uh it was like

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Speaker 2: Bang Energy.

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Speaker 1: Is it like an influencer drink?

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Speaker 2: No, well, okay, I've do you know, guess how many

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Speaker 2: milligrams of caffeine a Bang Energy drink has? Or do

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Speaker 2: you know how much? How many milligrams is an average fifty? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: All right, guess how much? Is it one thing?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go crazy?

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Speaker 2: Four hundred that is very close. Three and it's so

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Speaker 2: much that you're not allowed to have that energy drink

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Speaker 2: unless you're six cups.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, that's six cups.

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Speaker 2: In one one.

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Speaker 1: Don't think about like if you're just like casually, you know,

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Speaker 1: you'll drink water, coffee or whatever. Like if you're just

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Speaker 1: throwing those back, you're just having like.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's what all the influencers on TikTok are doing.

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Speaker 2: They're just throwing it back. No wonder they can make

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Speaker 2: so many banks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, they're banging out thirty tiktoks after drinking. Wow,

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Speaker 1: that's that's insane.

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Speaker 2: Uh it's audios motherfucker and oh.

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Speaker 1: A mf Okay okay, I like that. Okay, there's something there,

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Speaker 1: there's something there. We could build it so at this

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Speaker 1: point I started experiencing the worst vertigo of my life. See,

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Speaker 1: this is why you don't do wheeling in the bubble

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Speaker 1: bait weren't doing my My thirteen year old brain was

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Speaker 1: doing it.

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Speaker 2: I know, but they're I mean the twisting and turning

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Speaker 2: out she was.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't move my head an inch. I just

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Speaker 1: had to lie down on my back and try to breathe. Gee,

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Speaker 1: this sounds like she's taking like this was me taking

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Speaker 1: like a crazy edible, like just yeah, just saying.

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Speaker 2: Old spinning, or like after a night of drinking, getting

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Speaker 2: home and it's like, oh, the roller coaster decided to

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Speaker 2: start right.

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Speaker 1: Now, man, that's convenience decided when you got home.

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Speaker 2: I know, it's like perfect time. I feel like, totally fine.

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Speaker 2: I'm running through the streets. I sit down, and then

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Speaker 2: I was like, buckle up.

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Speaker 1: I like how just prior you were running through the streets.

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Speaker 1: And then and then then.

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Speaker 2: I'm always whenever I'm drunk, like I'm always running through

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Speaker 2: the streets. I remember, okay, dude, all right. I was

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Speaker 2: in Hong Kong, and I remember it was like one

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Speaker 2: of the first times that I had really traveled the world,

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Speaker 2: like alone, without supervision of any parents. And so I

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Speaker 2: heard Hong Kong was a pretty safe city. And so

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Speaker 2: what I started doing is I ran through every sketchy

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Speaker 2: alleyway and was started. It was screaming at the top

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Speaker 2: of my lungs, like I can't believe I'm not getting bugged.

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Speaker 1: Were you recording it? And you're just doing it for fun?

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Speaker 2: It is? I was just just running through. Uh. And

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Speaker 2: that was on Thanksgiving and.

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Speaker 1: That was in But they don't have Thanksgiving, right, They're

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Speaker 1: just no.

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Speaker 2: They don't. Well, actually they do celebrate there. We celebrated

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Speaker 2: with a bunch of like.

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Speaker 1: Americans, right, probably enough Americans, because.

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Speaker 2: Hong Kong such an international city and like especially like

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Speaker 2: pre China, you know, fucking it over, which was I

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Speaker 2: was there in like twenty seventeen, so yeah, it's a

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Speaker 2: cool place.

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Speaker 1: I started feeling sick and eventually ended up vomiting the

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Speaker 1: entire rest of the night.

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Speaker 2: I mean, the copulating was over, right, It wasn't like

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Speaker 2: during well they stopped.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just like this is my kick, which

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Speaker 1: is funny because he's like, yeah, this dick so crazy,

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Speaker 1: make you throw That's what a guy would say. Then

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Speaker 1: me and Anna last night you know, she was just

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Speaker 1: vomiting over this. She loved it.

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Speaker 2: She loved it so much she was vomiting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's classic, classic guy to ask. Yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: vomiting while the room is still spinning, which made me

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Speaker 1: vomit even more in an endless, terrible cycle.

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Speaker 2: That sounds so bad.

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Speaker 1: That is awful. This is the worst is at last.

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Speaker 1: I fell asleep thinking it would go away in the

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Speaker 1: morning like a fool. Oh my god, no, not over

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Speaker 1: what jeez. I ended up. I ended up having to

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Speaker 1: stay seven hours in the emergency room in what they

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Speaker 1: called benign paroic small positional vertigo.

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Speaker 2: Whoa when the dick real crazy?

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Speaker 1: Give her not paroiic small position of vertigo.

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Speaker 2: That times.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. If you've never heard of it, you're

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Speaker 1: not the only one. Yeah, I've never heard of it.

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Speaker 2: I never heard of it any other. But you know,

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Speaker 2: then again, I haven't been dicked down that, I haven't.

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Speaker 1: Digged down that hard. My cheeks haven't been obliterated like that.

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Speaker 2: And that's why you need That's why you need cocklives.

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Speaker 1: Basically, if you have tiny microscoptic crystal like stones in

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Speaker 1: your inner ear otoliths, the disease is literally called crystal

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Speaker 1: illness in my native language. And these stones can get loose,

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Speaker 1: which messes up your balance. Whoa, this is some space age.

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Speaker 2: Yuh, bro, bro you thought of I don't know if

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Speaker 2: you want. You don't really watch Rick and Morty, but

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Speaker 2: there's like one of the first episodes like Marty, we

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Speaker 2: gotta get the crystals. Morty, you gotta can stick these

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Speaker 2: crystals up your butt, Like, uh, that's what I thought of.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just like no context, just like you need these

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Speaker 1: crystal crystals.

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Speaker 2: It's like your ass or whatever orphis.

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Speaker 1: That Yeah, whatever orphis can can do the job.

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Speaker 2: Will do it. I guess these are smaller crystals.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, these are These are very tiny crystals apparently, which

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Speaker 1: is like so wild.

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Speaker 2: Human body crazy. Uh.

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Speaker 1: It can take weeks before you fully recover. And I

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Speaker 1: still can't turn my head or look down without nausea

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Speaker 1: or fortigo.

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Speaker 2: Bro.

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Speaker 1: Weeks.

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Speaker 2: Wow, he's on that roller coaster for weeks.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Also, the TLDR is so perfect, I have to

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Speaker 1: read it. Okay, Yeah, TLDR, my boyfriend fucked me so

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Speaker 1: hard my microscopic crystals in my ear fell out.

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Speaker 2: Wow, dude, that's a fricking tie so that's a fricking.

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Speaker 1: Why we we totally missed that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that you should just reread that. Yes, we will

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Speaker 2: reread the title because that's just way too good.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend eked me so hard my microscopic crystals in

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Speaker 1: my ear.

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Speaker 2: Fell out when you said microscopic. I was thinking of

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Speaker 2: another micro that's true.

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Speaker 1: This is the antithesis of that. This is like the

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Speaker 1: opposite of that, two different microscopic situ micro Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: macro causing the micro. Well, Samuel, I think we have

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Speaker 1: thoroughly entertained our viewers today.

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Speaker 2: I freaking hope. So if you're not entertained, dude, I

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Speaker 2: feel sorry for you.

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Speaker 1: Just good.

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Speaker 2: You probably have vertigo?

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Speaker 1: Goodbody, you do? You do you have vertigo from No Entertainment.

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Speaker 2: Yeah,