Speaker 1: The Niki Gliser podcast.
Speaker 2: Glaser's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: It's Thediculizer podcast live from Europe Vienna. To be exact,
Speaker 2: I'm here in my hotel room with Anya and my
Speaker 2: boyfriend Chris Convey.
Speaker 1: Hello, we're here Alfazan.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do they speak Austrian here or German? And is
Speaker 2: there a difference German German? So the Austrian language of
Speaker 2: Austrian is not a language, it's a language.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I thought I'd noticed slight differences between the two, But
Speaker 2: why would I because I don't know any German.
Speaker 3: I'm sure there's like slight differences as far as like
Speaker 3: accent is concerned.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: I noticed they said Beachashan today when like you walk
Speaker 4: in anywhere, and I was like, I thought that was
Speaker 4: you're welcome, And then I realized, oh, it's welcome. It's
Speaker 4: like same as in Russian or Spanish or I guess
Speaker 4: any language.
Speaker 1: Wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 4: Like I always thought you only say that after thank you,
Speaker 4: like thank you welcome, But no, it's like when you
Speaker 4: walk into a room, I also say welcome or thank
Speaker 4: you so much, You're welcome.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's the different. Yeah, I mean like welcome here. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I thought German was welcoming.
Speaker 4: Maybe it is, but they said, Bitian, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Maybe I heard an end of a conversation, but it
Speaker 4: sure felt like a beginning. And that's a great place
Speaker 4: to start.
Speaker 2: BITI shun to the show everyone, and Brian Franngie is
Speaker 2: a visitor is joining us from Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: I'm crete to create a rack right now? What time?
Speaker 1: What's what's the tz where you are?
Speaker 5: Uh, specifically the time? Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1: I guess this is on question.
Speaker 2: I was trying to be uh adorable, but what's the
Speaker 2: time where you are?
Speaker 6: It's nine to thirty am and beautiful to crete and
Speaker 6: it's sunny and actually it's a kind of overcast today.
Speaker 2: Isn't it weird that it's six pm here or six
Speaker 2: thirty here?
Speaker 1: Isn't that strange?
Speaker 2: How?
Speaker 1: And that it just there? I guess.
Speaker 2: I was watching Ted Lasta the other day and he's like,
Speaker 2: why can't we all just be on the same time zones?
Speaker 2: And the you know, his like assistant coach was just
Speaker 2: like the sun Man and he was like, oh yeah, sun,
Speaker 2: but it is.
Speaker 6: Yes, it's crazy, it's crazy. And then like you'll be
Speaker 6: a full.
Speaker 5: Day ahead, like if you're in Japan, it's like the
Speaker 5: next day. And like, yeah, did you ever uh uh?
Speaker 6: One time I was on a plane on New Year's
Speaker 6: Eve when midnight whoa, and I was doing.
Speaker 5: A red eye.
Speaker 1: I chased it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I chased it.
Speaker 6: I went from the East coast to the West coast
Speaker 6: and I hit New Year's Eve four times and what Yeah?
Speaker 6: And there was occasionally we saw fireworks out the window.
Speaker 1: A lot of kissing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we all made out the whole time before the
Speaker 6: fall dropped. But you know what was what was ridiculous
Speaker 6: about it was they didn't do anything on the plane
Speaker 6: at midnight. The pilot didn't say Happy New Year. They
Speaker 6: didn't give people free champagne midnight. Struck We're all waiting
Speaker 6: for some special event and then just time past.
Speaker 2: Well see that's annoying because you know what, the New
Speaker 2: Year is kind of the same everywhere except China. I
Speaker 2: guess I'm sure those are the countries that also don't
Speaker 2: celebrate the same Gregorian calendar we have.
Speaker 5: It's like sixty four or something right now.
Speaker 2: Wait, so they don't they don't do like Happy New Year,
Speaker 2: like like you know, orthodox Jews and like acidic Jews,
Speaker 2: like don't do not particle to Jews to watch Carson
Speaker 2: acidic Jews, you know the ones.
Speaker 1: Their pH bounces are very off as supposed to basic
Speaker 1: Jews like Brian.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like they don't go happy, No, they'll go.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: Europe has been We've been here a couple of days now.
Speaker 2: I think we're kind of adjusted. I just took a
Speaker 2: nap that was very intense.
Speaker 5: Did you nap.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's sleeping when you're jetlagged. Is the closest thing
Speaker 4: to being drunk or on heroin.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The alarm goes off and then you're just like, I
Speaker 2: will do anything for more sleep.
Speaker 1: I was starting to bargain stages of grief. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 4: I was close to weeping, just like I can't believe
Speaker 4: I have to wake up, I know, and.
Speaker 1: Do a podcast too. You guys, the things we do
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm looking outside and there's one of
Speaker 2: those giant babe.
Speaker 1: Look, you are gonna love doing that.
Speaker 2: It's like one of those tower things and it lifts
Speaker 2: all the way up and has swings on it. And
Speaker 2: this thing is like three hundred feet in the air
Speaker 2: and it lifts up and hass all around it. I
Speaker 2: would never do it. Do you know what I don't
Speaker 2: like in a ride? Centrifugal force is pulling a chain
Speaker 2: Like I like centripical force. If I'm locked into something
Speaker 2: and I can feel myself be like you know the
Speaker 2: ones that you lay on you just like stand up
Speaker 2: and it would circle around. I like that because it's
Speaker 2: like I'm only being pushed into a board and it
Speaker 2: can't go any further. But when it's a chain thing
Speaker 2: or like remember the Scrambler, that feels like it's like yeah,
Speaker 2: it feels like it just wants to be free. It's
Speaker 2: like a tweet I read about Kim Kardashian, like someone said,
Speaker 2: I've never seen Kim Kardashian just her body.
Speaker 1: It just wants to be fat so bad.
Speaker 2: Like that's how I feel about those swing things. It's
Speaker 2: just like it wants to let the swing go and
Speaker 2: you're stopping it and it's gonna win at some point,
Speaker 2: and so we are not doing that.
Speaker 1: But I would to want you go up in that
Speaker 1: and look for a new boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Anyway, Nikki announced that the show last night she she
Speaker 3: was going She was like, you know, I'm some strong
Speaker 3: independent woman I'm this, I'm that I'm single, or like
Speaker 3: I'm single and I'm wealthy. I'm oh, yeah, because I'm single.
Speaker 1: She goes, wait, hold on, I'm not.
Speaker 2: I just I said. I've never said that once before.
Speaker 2: It seemed like something I've been getting away with and
Speaker 2: then suddenly I forgot to change it.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend's in the world was.
Speaker 3: Because she's listing a bunch of things that are like
Speaker 3: great about her life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just because it's leading up to a joke. Well,
Speaker 1: that kind of shows you how my brain works.
Speaker 2: For a joke like, I will turn off whatever's true
Speaker 2: to fit what the narrative is for a joke like that,
Speaker 2: that's like, you know, just trying. I will sacrifice for
Speaker 2: a setup to hit a better punchline. And and even
Speaker 2: if I was like performing without you in the room,
Speaker 2: I would have been like, waits again, I'm not single?
Speaker 1: What am I saying?
Speaker 2: Because it would defeat so many of my jokes about
Speaker 2: us being together and breaking up pretty soon. So for
Speaker 2: some breakups, Oh yeah, Brian's been through a few of.
Speaker 4: Our really food and stare into the abyss during those
Speaker 4: two like you guys did after a Game of Thrones.
Speaker 2: Every time we would have like moments of silence it Yeah,
Speaker 2: so the show. I mean to be honest with you,
Speaker 2: I was really bummed before the show's last night because
Speaker 2: I was just having jet lag depression plus depression plus
Speaker 2: just depression, yeah, not being single depression, really fighting all that.
Speaker 1: And I was like crying before.
Speaker 2: I needed to get a cry out, and I never
Speaker 2: ever cry before performance.
Speaker 1: Who am I? Katy Perry?
Speaker 2: And the documentary that she did called I Forget what
Speaker 2: It's called?
Speaker 1: Perry? Yeah? Did you ever see that documentary?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh it's so good.
Speaker 2: I think I was trying to have a Katy Perry
Speaker 2: moment yesterday because you you you, what's the what's the
Speaker 2: verb of resilient? You resile? You like become resilient. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you bounce back. It's like a triumphant moment. She's like
Speaker 2: about to perform for sixty thousand people in Brazil, like
Speaker 2: her biggest audience ever, and you could like hear the roars,
Speaker 2: and she just got word that Russell Brand wants to
Speaker 2: divorce her, and so she's in the makeup chair just
Speaker 2: like ah, I yeah, and like you've never seen someone
Speaker 2: cry like this, Like it's just she's a mess and
Speaker 2: you go and they're like you're on in five and
Speaker 2: she's just like and they're like, Katie, we're calling it,
Speaker 2: like we can't do this, you can't do this.
Speaker 1: And she's just like, no, I'm gonna do it because
Speaker 1: the cameras are here. Really we need a moment for
Speaker 1: the secondentary. This is what I realized later on.
Speaker 2: But no, it's a great moment because she's beneath the
Speaker 2: stage and she raises up and she's in the shadows
Speaker 2: and she's beneath the stage and she's just like.
Speaker 1: Still weeping, just like.
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden, you see like the
Speaker 2: platform start to raise and she's still weeping. And then
Speaker 2: right before she hits the lip, she just goes and
Speaker 2: she's like just hits her mark and then delivers an
Speaker 2: amazing performance.
Speaker 1: And so I just need to get a cry out.
Speaker 2: So I was like weeping back stage yesterday, hoping that
Speaker 2: none of the German people who worked at the club
Speaker 2: like came back to be like do you want more
Speaker 2: tea or whatever, because I was just I was just
Speaker 2: I hadn't done comedy for two and a half weeks.
Speaker 2: I'm about to perform somewhere where I Then I start
Speaker 2: going over my jokes because I don't ever prepare anything
Speaker 2: before five minutes before the show.
Speaker 1: I'm not even joking.
Speaker 2: I didn't think about one of my single jokes before
Speaker 2: I got a joke on.
Speaker 1: You had to remind her of like fifteen jokes. I
Speaker 1: don't have them written down anywhere.
Speaker 5: This is got on.
Speaker 1: You write some down this.
Speaker 6: Last weekend talking about how you need to cry and
Speaker 6: you can't cry.
Speaker 4: I know, we warmed her up the ahead of time.
Speaker 4: I went to the topography of terror in Berlin, which
Speaker 4: is just the Holocaust.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I kept going to her like you have
Speaker 3: a boyfriend.
Speaker 2: And that was just sinking me lower and lower. And finally,
Speaker 2: after enough of that, no, I was able to squeeze
Speaker 2: them out and feel about it. But I was going
Speaker 2: over my jokes and I was like, they don't like
Speaker 2: my biggest jokes right now are about John bonn Ay
Speaker 2: Ramsey and Susan Boyle, and I go, I don't think
Speaker 2: these are references they get. I'm like, oh no, So
Speaker 2: I was kind of freaking out. And then I was
Speaker 2: started going over like my jokes that aren't about specific things,
Speaker 2: like you know, they're not written in my notes as
Speaker 2: like Jean Beney like there may be a joke about
Speaker 2: like seesaws. But then I start going through them in
Speaker 2: my mind, like the beats, and I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: All of the references in there are like American references.
Speaker 1: Of like Walgreens, an amendment.
Speaker 2: And how important it is and now we need to.
Speaker 1: Protect it, branches of the government.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was all stuff like family matters rkle. I'm like,
Speaker 2: do they even have that over here?
Speaker 6: Can you believe how dangerous Pittsburgh is? Like have you
Speaker 6: in North Carolina there?
Speaker 2: But then I made a joke halfway through the show
Speaker 2: because I said something that I go, oh, I flubbed
Speaker 2: a joke, and I and stays saying the punchline, I go,
Speaker 2: And then I forgot what the punchline was. And then
Speaker 2: I realized, I go, actually, I didn't. I just got
Speaker 2: scared right before that you guys wouldn't know the reference,
Speaker 2: so I shoot my mind literally chose to forget it
Speaker 2: instead of to like, I didn't forget it, So I
Speaker 2: forget about the joke, mind, Roofi, do you it really
Speaker 2: totally did.
Speaker 3: At one point at point, Nikki forgot something of like
Speaker 3: a Germany reference that she was going to do in
Speaker 3: a joke and she in the middle.
Speaker 1: Of the show, she was likeck, what'd.
Speaker 5: You say, babe?
Speaker 2: I go, babe, babe, Like it wasn't like I was like,
Speaker 2: my boyfriend's here, let me ask him, babe. I was
Speaker 2: just like, and there's this commercial I saw and it
Speaker 2: was a who was it?
Speaker 1: Babe?
Speaker 2: Who was it?
Speaker 1: Babe? Smoke up? And he reminded me.
Speaker 2: But when I couldn't think of the joke before that,
Speaker 2: I was like, And so then I said, I go, Okay,
Speaker 2: well I'm gonna say this joke and if you don't
Speaker 2: get the reference, it's whatever. And then they got the reference,
Speaker 2: and I go, it's so American of me to expect
Speaker 2: that you guys don't know anything about America because we
Speaker 2: don't know anything about you. Like that's I go, it's
Speaker 2: what I'm thinking.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, like, you guys are like us.
Speaker 2: You probably know shit about the rest of the world,
Speaker 2: and we don't. I don't know fucking anything, and I'm
Speaker 2: embarrassed of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Chris.
Speaker 2: Chris has written like four jokes for me since I've
Speaker 2: been here, and it's been pretty great because he'll say
Speaker 2: something and I go, can I use that and he's like,
Speaker 2: I don't what am I going to do?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you've written some stuff for real.
Speaker 5: I'm going to help Mike and Munich.
Speaker 1: Later she would be like, now I am single. Did
Speaker 1: it feel really good to Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't date someone who just starts coming.
Speaker 2: Did it feel good when that joke hit?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it felt really good.
Speaker 2: The line that you came up with, we won't give
Speaker 2: it away because I really think it's going to be
Speaker 2: a part of my act.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wrote what I wrote a joke for Tim too, Brian.
Speaker 5: Oh Man, yea, now you owe me one?
Speaker 1: Yeah, actually give you all.
Speaker 2: That's not how it works. I get first pick. In fact,
Speaker 2: the one Tim gets. I was like, I think that's
Speaker 2: probably better for Tim.
Speaker 1: I wrote a good one too.
Speaker 3: It's like, you know what you're doing jiu jitsu and
Speaker 3: you're putting him in an arm bar and it turns
Speaker 3: out it's really just a figure four leg lock.
Speaker 1: I get it. When that naked choke insame? What's that reference?
Speaker 1: In Tucson?
Speaker 2: Was the first time I heard you use the transistor
Speaker 2: radio joke?
Speaker 1: I thought that was really great.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I told that one that you gave me
Speaker 2: that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I haven't done that since. Yeah, that was
Speaker 2: because I guess I haven't been on stage.
Speaker 1: All the best are like, no wonder, Nikki's got way
Speaker 1: less funny recently.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, that joke last night kill.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was great, it felt really great.
Speaker 2: But I had two shows last night, and we had
Speaker 2: two shows last night, and yeah, the first one was
Speaker 2: just like getting my feet wet and it was good.
Speaker 2: But then the second one much much better and Anya
Speaker 2: was great, and yeah, you had friends at the second
Speaker 2: show though.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's hard to have friends at a show.
Speaker 2: Do you ever get nervous, Brian?
Speaker 4: When friends?
Speaker 1: You know friends, you have to have friends.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I got nervo. Yet if there's friends at a show,
Speaker 6: I get nervous because I did. I black out and
Speaker 6: make friends somewhere.
Speaker 1: What your rat friend is in the back, they're both
Speaker 1: here tonight.
Speaker 6: It's I would much rather perform for a room full
Speaker 6: of strangers than for anybody that I know, And without
Speaker 6: a doubt same, Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's it's got a I will say. I think it's
Speaker 2: that way for every performer, no matter how much they
Speaker 2: go like it's my hometown. I'm so glad to be
Speaker 2: here tonight. Every time I've said that Saint Louis, I'm
Speaker 2: lying like I'm I'm happier there and I'm happy I'm here,
Speaker 2: and even actually New Year's Eve was fun and I
Speaker 2: let go of things. But it's just never it's never
Speaker 2: easy when your boyfriend's family is watching. It just isn't
Speaker 2: because even if you don't do jokes about things that
Speaker 2: make them uncomfortable, then you're not doing your best material
Speaker 2: and you suck, you know, like then I'm doing the material.
Speaker 2: That's then they're like, we don't get, like there's because
Speaker 2: something kind of not that I don't get why this
Speaker 2: is sisters. So I'm like, cause I took out all
Speaker 2: the stuff you can't can't see, but or it's just
Speaker 2: there's one chance to prove to them how good.
Speaker 1: You are every time.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I can't.
Speaker 2: Possibly be like, let me do a redo, come on,
Speaker 2: And there's just you know, especially with singing Anya just
Speaker 2: from my voice lessons that I've been taking, like if
Speaker 2: you have any tension in your mentally or physically at
Speaker 2: all throughout your whole body, if your toe is hurting,
Speaker 2: it can affect the sound of your voice in the resonance,
Speaker 2: like any tension at all, So like something you're thinking about?
Speaker 2: Do you think when you're singing? Do you think about
Speaker 2: the words or are you thinking about like other stuff.
Speaker 4: It's bizarre that you can think a million things, don't
Speaker 4: you when you're doing comedy?
Speaker 1: Yes, actually was singing.
Speaker 4: I can be in both places, like thinking about the song,
Speaker 4: also thinking about like is my shoe the right collar
Speaker 4: with this outfit? And like you're moving weird, like did
Speaker 4: you forget how to move? Why don't you just relax
Speaker 4: pretend you're dancing? Okay, that's good now, Oh you forgot.
Speaker 4: It's like a constant conversation, am I. Is there anything
Speaker 4: that you ever like do you ever.
Speaker 1: Get nervous?
Speaker 2: Because I guess whenever I'm playing guitar and singing, I
Speaker 2: always am like I fuck up something and then I
Speaker 2: keep sucking up on top of that, like it won't
Speaker 2: stop the fuck ups.
Speaker 1: Is there out of that? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think meditation, like just be in the zone right here,
Speaker 4: right here, right here. Speaking of which, that's a new
Speaker 4: favorite Nikki Glazer joke of mine. What where you talk
Speaker 4: about aging in the passage of time and it's almost
Speaker 4: like you're trying to like capture the moment.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The point is is like you're you're it's pointless to
Speaker 2: be like I'm so old because you're as young. You're
Speaker 2: the youngest you'll ever be right now. Now wait now you're.
Speaker 1: Older, now hold on.
Speaker 2: Like it's when I realized that, I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's it's but it doesn't stop me from thinking about
Speaker 2: it constantly.
Speaker 1: I found that.
Speaker 3: Same sort of idea because you know, as a man
Speaker 3: whose hair is slowly thinning, you're just every day.
Speaker 1: Every No, it's not then fascinating. No, no, no, it's
Speaker 1: not at all. I would never be able to make
Speaker 1: me jokes if I really thought it was. Noah likes
Speaker 1: it a lot.
Speaker 3: Every day is the best it's gonna look, right, So
Speaker 3: like every single day I get with my hair, I
Speaker 3: can't be upset because in two years time, I'm going
Speaker 3: to look back and be like, oh.
Speaker 1: My god, I had it. I had it all. Yes,
Speaker 1: that day in Vienna, you did. I had it all.
Speaker 1: You did.
Speaker 2: It's always a good sign when you see your boyfriend
Speaker 2: across the street or like you don't know what's him
Speaker 2: and you go, you.
Speaker 1: Go, oh it's mine. I feel the way today. But
Speaker 1: it has happened because saw you first.
Speaker 4: Today we saw a Viennese Chris.
Speaker 2: It was he was wearing a scarf, which never except
Speaker 2: a scarf.
Speaker 5: How is like the outside of the shows being in
Speaker 5: Europe fit?
Speaker 2: Okay, Starbucks is amazing here. I have some thoughts about
Speaker 2: the Starbucks here. We will get to that right after
Speaker 2: we take a break. But that is a great question, Brian,
Speaker 2: more about our European inventure when we get back. Is
Speaker 2: that the rag put in the room?
Speaker 1: Yes, welcome back to the show.
Speaker 2: Anya just noticed that there is a rag that was
Speaker 2: laying in the middle of the floor of my clean room.
Speaker 2: You know what, Like I always just thought, and I
Speaker 2: didn't complain because I go, you know what, all she
Speaker 2: didn't do was pick up a rag. You know, that's
Speaker 2: her cleaning maybe, but like for me, it was the
Speaker 2: grossest thing I've ever seen. But it really was just
Speaker 2: a rag. And like, think how many rags are just
Speaker 2: on your floor before they leave the room and they
Speaker 2: just go oh quick, And it's like, that's the difference
Speaker 2: between a clean room and a dirty room. So I
Speaker 2: smelled the rag to make sure it wasn't like this,
Speaker 2: and it was vinegar. And so they were cleaning the
Speaker 2: room with vinegar, which feels like a European thing to do. Really,
Speaker 2: that's what they used for Giodorant. I'm surprised they use
Speaker 2: anything based on wach So the so we first got
Speaker 2: to we were in Berlin, yes the past two days,
Speaker 2: and I have just been like a little doggy on
Speaker 2: a leash, like I just kind of on your orders
Speaker 2: for me at Starbucks because I'm scared that they're gonna
Speaker 2: be like, oh god, she's such a dumb American. And
Speaker 2: so I was just like VENTI extra hot, sugar, free sugar,
Speaker 2: and then extra hot.
Speaker 4: She's like Gary on vv Serena the opposite.
Speaker 5: Oh no, okay, Gary's telling.
Speaker 2: Vah, yeah, I'm totally Gary sister in law. And I
Speaker 2: got my drink and it was not extra hot. But
Speaker 2: here's the thing about Europe. They don't do things extra
Speaker 2: It's just the way it is. It's and there's no
Speaker 2: hot or cold. It's just everything sixty eight degrees. The
Speaker 2: room will not go below sixty eight, it won't go above.
Speaker 2: It's just what it is. There's no ice, there's no
Speaker 2: an extra hot to them. They were like, because I
Speaker 2: knew that they were going to pull this, I knew
Speaker 2: exactly so I said, Anya, it's not extra hot, and
Speaker 2: I don't even want it. And so she, being my
Speaker 2: good friend who is not scared to stand up for me,
Speaker 2: she went back to the counter and was like, excuse me,
Speaker 2: this is not extra hot. She asked for extra hot,
Speaker 2: and they were like, that is extra hot.
Speaker 4: Yeah, loudly, that is extra hot. I was like, and
Speaker 4: I just go, well, it's not pretty amazing, comeback. But
Speaker 4: this is why they don't, and An, you made a
Speaker 4: good point.
Speaker 2: It's because it burns the coffee, and they like have
Speaker 2: they want things to be pure and like you taste
Speaker 2: everything and like making it too hot like burns, and
Speaker 2: I like things that are burnt because I like pain
Speaker 2: because otherwise I suck it down too fast because I
Speaker 2: like it to scorch my throat. And then like today
Speaker 2: I think Germans are into that kind of stuff. Yeah pain, yeah, pain,
Speaker 2: It's like you would think, but they just everything, even
Speaker 2: the die cooks. You reach into the side of cooler,
Speaker 2: you know, when you in the States, you pull up
Speaker 2: like sometimes a drink is freshly stocked and it's just
Speaker 2: like warm, and you're like, okay, I'm going to the back.
Speaker 2: All of the ones are that first one here in Europe,
Speaker 2: there's no there's no spice cold anything that's like offensive
Speaker 2: to them. And listen, I could get on board. I'm
Speaker 2: not judging it, of course I'm judging it, but I
Speaker 2: don't know why are they just they're not wasting as
Speaker 2: much energy as us?
Speaker 1: Is that it?
Speaker 2: They're respecting the.
Speaker 1: Coffee, but what about the diet coke? There's something to respect? Oh,
Speaker 1: like why won't they use ice? Like why won't they?
Speaker 3: People mustn't be like demanding it because there's there's another
Speaker 3: issue in other parts of Europe too, Like I think
Speaker 3: in France they're like, You're like, can I get ice
Speaker 3: with this? And they think you're kind of crazy or
Speaker 3: they just give you like one piece of ice. Yes,
Speaker 3: cold beverages aren't like.
Speaker 1: I had ice and they don't demand it.
Speaker 2: Delicious though.
Speaker 4: In Berlin I had the best ice coffee I've ever
Speaker 4: had in my life.
Speaker 2: I don't even drink coffee.
Speaker 4: They've they screwed up my order and I was like, no, no,
Speaker 4: I'll keep it. And then it was two little square,
Speaker 4: perfect cubes of ice, like the most perfect cube you've
Speaker 4: ever seen. And then it was just like the most
Speaker 4: delicious drink I was like, I want to become a
Speaker 4: coffee drinker now, and it was it was just perfect.
Speaker 4: Maybe America overdoes things.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say I would blame it on Celsius
Speaker 6: because their range of numbers isn't as large.
Speaker 1: We go from zero to one hundred degrees.
Speaker 5: That's well within our range.
Speaker 6: In Europe, it's Celsius zero is freezing, and then like
Speaker 6: seventy degrees is twenty, Like they don't have the numbers.
Speaker 2: They don't have the degrees is twenty. What about the
Speaker 2: room temperature? Why won't it go below sixty eight? I
Speaker 2: think it's I think it's a power issue, and they're
Speaker 2: I think also I was told not to bring my
Speaker 2: own hair dryer, even if I have an adapter, because
Speaker 2: it'll blow out their circuits. I think we're just America
Speaker 2: is just like big, more power, more things, Like they
Speaker 2: don't have Sedan's here. I don't know if that's about
Speaker 2: everything's tiny.
Speaker 1: Everything's tiny.
Speaker 4: There's tea cups in your room, there's mugs at the venue,
Speaker 4: but they are forty smaller than a tea cup you
Speaker 4: might think, or a mug that you might see in America.
Speaker 2: But the portions have not been disappointing. I gotta say
Speaker 2: I've been today. They got a little confused on my
Speaker 2: order today at lunch that we and I ordered the
Speaker 2: same thing. They didn't know I ordered two of them.
Speaker 2: They only brought one. And then we're just waiting and waiting,
Speaker 2: and then finally I'm like, I think they didn't get mine,
Speaker 2: which they didn't. So then Chris went in to buy
Speaker 2: another or to pay for She was like, oh, we'll
Speaker 2: bring it out, and they brought out a sandwich, which
Speaker 2: is not what I ordered. And then we were like, no,
Speaker 2: we wanted one of these, another one of these, and
Speaker 2: then they go okay, and so they took the sandwich
Speaker 2: and they seem to be annoyed, but they were very nice.
Speaker 2: Chris went in to pay for that because it was
Speaker 2: more than the sandwich. And what did you do in there?
Speaker 1: I hit the guy who what did you do? More
Speaker 1: of that? Your trick? Good sir? Oh yeah, here's here's
Speaker 1: a you only hit me talk about.
Speaker 2: Okay, I told you I'd never talk about it, but
Speaker 2: he does.
Speaker 1: Not hit me. Babe, babe, babe.
Speaker 3: No, here's a pro tip for all you international besties
Speaker 3: and people that are traveling. Oh yeah, if you're Canadian,
Speaker 3: blame things on us. And if you're American, blamed things
Speaker 3: on Canada. So basically, if you do something stupid and
Speaker 3: you know the people in that country, if Germans see
Speaker 3: you doing something stupid, if you like walk in front
Speaker 3: of cars and you're like look in the wrong way,
Speaker 3: and you'd be like, oh boy, that's not how they
Speaker 3: do it back in Canada. You just identify. You'd be like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. Just make sure that they know that.
Speaker 2: You can fuddled in a bike Lane'll be like, oh,
Speaker 2: this reminds me of Montreal, which is the country where
Speaker 2: I for the Mounties.
Speaker 3: That's all a boot, yes, yes, exactly. So basically, just
Speaker 3: reference the country you want to blame it on. And
Speaker 3: so Americans can really only blame it on Canada.
Speaker 2: So Chris literally today when he was paying for my
Speaker 2: meal for the second time, because it was like we
Speaker 2: were just such like I was such an American, like nitpicky,
Speaker 2: like I need it my way. He just goes, Oh,
Speaker 2: it's okay, man, it's just we do it differently.
Speaker 1: He goes, oh really.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Canada, Yeah, we're always just thinking about hockey. No,
Speaker 3: but I do love Canadians. But you guys could do
Speaker 3: it to us too. It's very it's probably easy like
Speaker 3: that part of it.
Speaker 2: Yes, always yeah, I mean, but it's but it's something
Speaker 2: I used to do back in high school.
Speaker 3: So like if I did something like rude or untoored,
Speaker 3: if I like accident, you know, I'm a seventeen year
Speaker 3: old kid, and I curse in public. I'm always like,
Speaker 3: oh man, I can't wait till we play slow in baseball.
Speaker 3: Because we're from De smet Al.
Speaker 1: Used to give it on another school.
Speaker 3: So I used I used to blame any bad behavior
Speaker 3: on others. That's really funny because I want to be
Speaker 3: don't you want to be a good American citizen when
Speaker 3: you're over here. You don't want to be like the
Speaker 3: people that they complain about on Reddit.
Speaker 1: Yes, so we are.
Speaker 3: You want to be that. You want to be the
Speaker 3: best behaved. You want to be a model citizen, so
Speaker 3: the people are like Americans not so bad after all.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that's smell on the plane today, though, I
Speaker 2: was getting a little American about it of like this.
Speaker 1: It was giving me a headache. That guy's body odor.
Speaker 2: It was a grandmother in front of me.
Speaker 1: Oh it was. I thought it was the man in
Speaker 1: front of me. Yea so bad. It was just rancid bo.
Speaker 2: I just don't know how people don't know that they
Speaker 2: have that coming from their body because I thought when
Speaker 2: we first sat down, I go, well, we're gonna get
Speaker 2: used to it and it will go away because you're
Speaker 2: but we did it. So then I go, this motherfucker
Speaker 2: has no excuse. This is this is newly like refreshing,
Speaker 2: and it never got used to it, so I could
Speaker 2: not because I understand sometimes when people smell, I'm like,
Speaker 2: they don't know because they get used to it. This
Speaker 2: is how we adapt as humans because we we we
Speaker 2: use that to learn about new smells coming in. So
Speaker 2: if like there's a dangerous smell that we smell, you know,
Speaker 2: humans have adapted to be like, what's that smell? And
Speaker 2: then once it doesn't like kill everyone, we go, Okay,
Speaker 2: we're gonna get used to it so we can smell
Speaker 2: new dangerous smells coming in. So it's a very you know,
Speaker 2: important adaptation that we have. But it makes us not
Speaker 2: know that we smell like shit. But these people have
Speaker 2: no excuse.
Speaker 6: Alone in New York that had bad bo and then
Speaker 6: after like six to eight months of going to open
Speaker 6: mics with him. We all had an intervention and we said,
Speaker 6: you got to start using deodorant.
Speaker 5: It's going to like hurt your career. And he started
Speaker 5: using good and he's, U, that's good.
Speaker 1: He does like he might have smelled at one point
Speaker 1: for a really long time.
Speaker 2: Can't say right to do that?
Speaker 6: To have the intervention, Yeah, I guess not in this
Speaker 6: an open mic sense, because we're all like, you know.
Speaker 1: You guys are like probably salvating to.
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's do this. It wasn't that bad and felt
Speaker 5: you had.
Speaker 6: Yeah, every head of roast in every comic just said
Speaker 6: this guy should wear deodorant.
Speaker 2: Right, And then to the point, how did it run
Speaker 2: like this intervention? Did he walk into a room and
Speaker 2: it was like ding ding ding like the Intervention show.
Speaker 2: There was like an old woman with you guys to
Speaker 2: lead it, and he goes, no, I'm not doing this.
Speaker 2: I'm not doing this. I'm going outside to have a cigarette.
Speaker 2: I'm not doing this, and they're like, just sit down.
Speaker 2: Everyone has a letter.
Speaker 6: Letters are like your smell has affected me in very
Speaker 6: negative ways. And then eventually no, but it was it
Speaker 6: was after the open mic. You know, it had been
Speaker 6: a long time coming, and you know it's the whole
Speaker 6: It was really bad bo like you experienced on the plane,
Speaker 6: and we're like, listen, you got to start wearing deodorant
Speaker 6: because you know, I know that maybe it's I don't
Speaker 6: know what it is, but you didn't wear deodorant and
Speaker 6: you don't realize that it smells and everyone is affected
Speaker 6: by it. Maybe everyone's been too nice to say it.
Speaker 6: Now we're all saying it together to really shame you,
Speaker 6: to say you should do it. And he did start
Speaker 6: doing it, and I think it actually helped.
Speaker 5: I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: I laugh it off. Was it really did tried to
Speaker 1: do it? Did you seem nice?
Speaker 6: We tried to do it so nice, like we're trying
Speaker 6: to help you, like like maybe no one's ever told
Speaker 6: you this, and that's the mean thing is to just
Speaker 6: be there and then after the might be like this
Speaker 6: person stinks like shit and never tell them.
Speaker 1: That's what we've been doing for a year.
Speaker 2: More Like, clearly, this isn't the first.
Speaker 1: Time we've been talking behind your back for eight months.
Speaker 2: And has anyone ever confronted you guys about something that
Speaker 2: you're just like, oh my god, Like I remember the
Speaker 2: first time I got told you need deodorant. When I
Speaker 2: was a teen, I was like thirteen, and my cousin
Speaker 2: JD and my sister conspired to go nikky, you stink,
Speaker 2: and I was just.
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't.
Speaker 2: I'll never forget that feeling and having to I remember
Speaker 2: going up to my mom's room in this house you're
Speaker 2: staying in Michigan and going through her like dop kit
Speaker 2: and being like, what do I do and then finding
Speaker 2: she she used that van do you remember van?
Speaker 1: A ball in the top that you love?
Speaker 2: That feeling, and it was it was just like wet,
Speaker 2: and I just remember being like, this is welcome to womanhood.
Speaker 2: Just putting some like like having a dog, a cold
Speaker 2: dog lick you under your pits and just being like
Speaker 2: oh and I was just so ashamed. And I remember
Speaker 2: just going to my room like crying, being so embarrassed.
Speaker 1: But someone has to tell.
Speaker 2: You, yeah, it's good that you did.
Speaker 5: Man have a Mitchen Man. You know Mitchen Man. Chris
Speaker 5: knows the Mitchell Man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know Mitcham Deoduran, but I don't
Speaker 2: remember the mitcham Man.
Speaker 6: Well, because you have really sweaty pits, you use mitcham
Speaker 6: Deoduran it dries up your pits. And then on the
Speaker 6: commercials they would show a guy with sweaty pits and
Speaker 6: they'd say, that's a mitcham man.
Speaker 1: You remember those.
Speaker 2: I watched TV too, but maybe I wasn't watching the
Speaker 2: same TV. I know he really sweats a lot. Is
Speaker 2: that what that means?
Speaker 6: Yeah, well he's a mitch. Well, no, he doesn't sweat
Speaker 6: at all because all his friends are all.
Speaker 1: It's like the Marlborough Man and he's got he smokes sugartes,
Speaker 1: he uses it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, speaking of body disgusting bodies, No, I thank
Speaker 2: you for that bodies.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We okay.
Speaker 2: So we are in Berlin on the first night. I
Speaker 2: think that we got this first night. We slept, we
Speaker 2: we got in early, we slept all day. We did
Speaker 2: it all wrong, but it turned out great. We're just
Speaker 2: doing great and we Chris is I'm in the bathroom
Speaker 2: just like putting on I don't know, brushing my teeth
Speaker 2: or something, and I hear yelp, a yulp come from
Speaker 2: the TV room and I knew Chris had just been
Speaker 2: scrolling through the TV last I left him. And he's like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, and I or was I in the room.
Speaker 2: I forget what happened, but the.
Speaker 3: TV was tilted towards me when you were sitting on
Speaker 3: the couch, and so you didn't you didn't have.
Speaker 2: Any single listen. I make these stories up in the
Speaker 2: way I want to present them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 2: I just couldn't see the screen. And he goes, there
Speaker 2: was there was a penis. There was a full penis,
Speaker 2: too full penis? Yes, TF And I go, what do
Speaker 2: you meet? Like I thought, maybe he stumbled on TFP.
Speaker 2: I thought maybe he stumbled on porn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like why not? Or like that?
Speaker 2: Maybe I got bumped up to the premium thing because
Speaker 2: you know, we're in a suite or something. But it
Speaker 2: was just a regular channel, and I forget that. What
Speaker 2: the channel is called. It's like RTL or something. It's
Speaker 2: the best channel ever. I first of all this show
Speaker 2: and it's being my favorite show. It's called Naked Attraction
Speaker 2: and the premise is is that a woman comes.
Speaker 1: Have you heard of this? I heard of this? Yes, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's yes. I think they must.
Speaker 2: I wonder if they franchise it because this is a
Speaker 2: very German show. This woman's hosting it, she is a host.
Speaker 2: She stands there with a contestant who is looking to
Speaker 2: go on a date. Okay, it's shot. This is shot
Speaker 2: so cheaply. The lighting is horrible.
Speaker 1: It's in a studio. It's in a studio. That's where
Speaker 1: it all takes place.
Speaker 2: And then they go on a date later on and
Speaker 2: that's in like a shitty bar, and it's always in
Speaker 2: the same bar, and it's like what and they use
Speaker 2: one camera. There's like no, there's no other angle. It's
Speaker 2: the cheapest shows ever box studio.
Speaker 3: I mean, with with what five lit weird color boxes.
Speaker 2: Like columns, like almost phone booths, and they have each
Speaker 2: of a different color.
Speaker 1: They are going to get a huge increase in their budget.
Speaker 1: Now that the host of f Boy Island is talking about.
Speaker 2: It, I want to bring this to the States, and
Speaker 2: I'm not joking it. We won't be able to have
Speaker 2: the same nudity, but even blurred out and having people
Speaker 2: describe what they're seeing would be hilarious. So this, so
Speaker 2: they're behind these panels. You just see their silhouette and
Speaker 2: then the first thing that lifts up is the panel
Speaker 2: and you see their penis down to their toes. Just
Speaker 2: the first panel lifts all the way up and the
Speaker 2: girl talks about each person's penis and toes and legs
Speaker 2: and everything.
Speaker 1: We don't have no idea.
Speaker 3: First of all, it was it was all in German,
Speaker 3: and we watched six episodes.
Speaker 2: Episode and the word penis is what they used for penis,
Speaker 2: sois no we looked and so they say penis or
Speaker 2: penis or penius. I don't even know, but you could
Speaker 2: hear that it was, you know when there's just like
Speaker 2: English words and they were just straight up safe or
Speaker 2: maybe they were just using different words and they said
Speaker 2: penis a bunch but other words also to describe it.
Speaker 2: But these people have their flaccid penises out and they're
Speaker 2: just like sad torsos. And then it finally lifts up,
Speaker 2: so then you get eliminated. One guy gets eliminated just
Speaker 2: only seeing your penis.
Speaker 3: The first round is like you eliminate either one or
Speaker 3: two people just when the when you can see from
Speaker 3: like the waist down basically, so it's legs and so
Speaker 3: like to tell the truth.
Speaker 6: Except it's a disgusting bodies and not yeah.
Speaker 2: And then when they get eliminated, the whole board comes
Speaker 2: all the way up and you see their face and
Speaker 2: it's somehow worse than their like, it's always some people
Speaker 2: are not that. No one, I don't think the most
Speaker 2: attractive woman. You were in the shower when she was
Speaker 2: on and she was really cute, but she was mad. No,
Speaker 2: they start with everyone's like, yeah, they start waist down.
Speaker 2: So there was one episode where it was a bisexual woman,
Speaker 2: so there was like a.
Speaker 1: Transsexual woman or transgendered woman.
Speaker 2: There was a uh, and then there were two women,
Speaker 2: and then there were one guy that was kind of
Speaker 2: more effeminate looking that had like fingernails done like you know,
Speaker 2: painted but long, like beautiful like manicured hands, but like
Speaker 2: a dick, and then one with and then there were
Speaker 2: also men on that one.
Speaker 1: So there was and then there was one.
Speaker 2: Where it was all I don't I didn't see one
Speaker 2: where it was a man deciding in all women.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't see that one. We need that one.
Speaker 2: The US version will have us judging windows bodies.
Speaker 1: That's what we do best. But so they do. They
Speaker 1: then they.
Speaker 2: Eliminate two people and then they lifted all the way
Speaker 2: up to like there right before their head, and then
Speaker 2: they talk about like their their gut and their like
Speaker 2: arms and tattoos and stuff. They're just like analyzing these
Speaker 2: people's bodies. Oh, then they turn around and you just
Speaker 2: see their butt and then there's like close ups on butts,
Speaker 2: there's close ups on penises. And this is Europe, you guys.
Speaker 2: So there's uncircumcised penis is galore. It is the norm.
Speaker 2: There was one circumcised penis. I think I saw the
Speaker 2: whole time. It was yours came out of the shower. No,
Speaker 2: there was, there was. There was one out of all
Speaker 2: of them. And I have not someone that has like
Speaker 2: spent a lot of time with I've never seen one
Speaker 2: in the flesh, and that is the choice of words
Speaker 2: is appropriate. I've never they look like yams. Chris, I
Speaker 2: was trying to come up with what they looked like
Speaker 2: yesterday before I went on stage to talk about this,
Speaker 2: and I go, it's kind of like a yam, and
Speaker 2: Chris is like, I don't know what that is, and
Speaker 2: so I googled jam and he was like, oh, that's
Speaker 2: exactly a sweet potato.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sweet potato. How did you not know what a
Speaker 1: yam was? I don't think he knows what it looks like.
Speaker 5: Well versed in vegetables, jams and sweet potatoes are different.
Speaker 2: It could be a fun game.
Speaker 5: What yams and sweet potatoes are different?
Speaker 4: Let me guess the yam is like more yellow when
Speaker 4: you cut it open, and sweet potatoes orange.
Speaker 5: Well, sweet potato tastes better. I think it is a
Speaker 5: little sweeter.
Speaker 6: That's that's what the yam is, a little thicker meat.
Speaker 2: Potato rankings vegetables.
Speaker 1: You should get on that train. That's funny that you
Speaker 1: know that. Do you cook a lot Brian.
Speaker 6: All the time? And also, I do want to say
Speaker 6: I recently. That's right, Nikki, I cook there all right now.
Speaker 6: She doesn't cook at all. She microwaves eggs. Would Here's
Speaker 6: the beauty of Brian. If he wants to do something,
Speaker 6: he figures it out. He does it at his dancing.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah he can dance. Yeah, no casual dance.
Speaker 5: Casual.
Speaker 1: I do want to dance.
Speaker 5: I have a tip.
Speaker 6: I have a hot tip on a non apple fruit.
Speaker 6: Just quickly, and that is strawberries. There's a straw there's
Speaker 6: a new strawberry on the market that is the best
Speaker 6: strawberry by far I've ever had. It's called the Gaviota strawberry.
Speaker 5: It is sweet. It is the sweetest little.
Speaker 6: Straw in the world. You gotta try it, Gaviota.
Speaker 2: I did sample a strawberry the other day at Whole Foods.
Speaker 2: They had the sample thing out, which I'm sure Chris
Speaker 2: is like, you eat from that?
Speaker 1: Gross?
Speaker 2: Are you grossed out that they eat from samples?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 1: Why, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It just seems like something that people that are have
Speaker 2: like germ things that are like do the proper thing.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 3: Nikki is saying this because she dropped a lollipop out
Speaker 3: of her mouth onto the floor.
Speaker 1: The wrapper WoT done out of my mouth.
Speaker 2: It was not wet yet, it was.
Speaker 1: Not okay, okay onto the floor.
Speaker 3: At an airport, people are in and out of I know,
Speaker 3: I'm just on the floor the airport.
Speaker 2: Why it's different than an airport than a hotel room anything.
Speaker 2: I would have said, you would have gone like they
Speaker 2: everywhere and.
Speaker 3: The shoes and then did like one of those gangster
Speaker 3: things where you know how you like blow on your
Speaker 3: knuckles and then rub it on your shirt. She did
Speaker 3: that with a lollipop. It goes like yeah, and then
Speaker 3: put it in her mouth.
Speaker 2: Like like okay. Can I say I have no shame?
Speaker 2: I would admit this a thousand times over. Yes, that
Speaker 2: is what I do. I don't care about germs. It
Speaker 2: is so stupid to think that because it touches the
Speaker 2: ground for two seconds that if I rub it vigorously
Speaker 2: on my jeans and then blow on it, that I
Speaker 2: wouldn't get off whatever it just got when it wasn't
Speaker 2: even wet. It fell on the ground dry, So what
Speaker 2: are you even talking about? I get how it just
Speaker 2: looks gross to people. So I kind of looked around
Speaker 2: me to make sure no one was looking.
Speaker 3: Panel go into the bathrooms, and then they come out
Speaker 3: of the bathrooms and then they step on where you're.
Speaker 1: Oating your food. I get that. So I dropped lollipop
Speaker 1: floor is your plate? I get it.
Speaker 2: The dry lollipop is on the ground and it gets
Speaker 2: like a poop particle on it. Vigorously rubbing it on
Speaker 2: my jeans is going to get if it was able
Speaker 2: to pick that poop particle up just gently falling on
Speaker 2: the ground, rubbing it vigorous lemon jeans is going to
Speaker 2: take off whatever it got on the ground.
Speaker 6: Around and then it spreads it around and then Chris goes, hey,
Speaker 6: this is the way we do it in Calgary.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was not wet before it fell out of
Speaker 2: my mouth.
Speaker 1: If it was wet, I would not.
Speaker 6: I would run it underwater free that if it was
Speaker 6: wet and you did it, that almost might be beyond
Speaker 6: the pail. But because it was dry, there's a little
Speaker 6: bit of a gray area there.
Speaker 1: The funniest part everywhere she goes.
Speaker 9: To call it.
Speaker 2: But the best part was that I knew, like I
Speaker 2: like to just I'm a gross person. I'm out about that,
Speaker 2: Like I don't care about germs. It just doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2: I wish it did, so that I appeared like I wish.
Speaker 2: When something fell off my plate, I was like, well
Speaker 2: it touched the table. I'm not gonna put that in
Speaker 2: my mouth. It's just not the way I think. And
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna let that.
Speaker 1: Piece of food go to waste.
Speaker 2: And so but I realized that that grosses Chris out,
Speaker 2: and he has to kiss me, and I want him
Speaker 2: to be attracted to me. So if this would have
Speaker 2: happened when Chris was around, I would have definitely just
Speaker 2: put the lollipop like aside and like hope that he
Speaker 2: did it like and then I would have pretended to
Speaker 2: throw away and then like put in my pocket for later,
Speaker 2: and he wouldn't have known but he wasn't around when
Speaker 2: this happened.
Speaker 1: He went to the bathroom to go.
Speaker 2: Get shit on his shoes, so he wasn't there. So
Speaker 2: when I and then I picked it up and I
Speaker 2: put it, I did the gene thing and then I
Speaker 2: you know, and I put it back in my mouth
Speaker 2: and he goes, go, No, clayed out of nowhere else,
Speaker 2: like you weren't supposed to see that. I wouldn't have
Speaker 2: done it. If you were next to me, I would
Speaker 2: have done it later.
Speaker 3: Have you guys ever seen that like meme or something.
Speaker 3: It's like it's some woman to tweeted out like, guys,
Speaker 3: do you reuse the towel that you like dry off
Speaker 3: your like genitals with wow? And a guy tweeted back,
Speaker 3: he goes, you started the face and you work your
Speaker 3: way down the towel forgets everything by the next day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I constantly reused els and don't think about that,
Speaker 2: but I just figured out. Also the other day I
Speaker 2: was watching on Reddit, some girl was talking about She
Speaker 2: was like, I think it's gross when people use the
Speaker 2: same bar of soap, Like I just put that in
Speaker 2: my ass and he goes in your ass and she's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you put it in an ass.
Speaker 1: And he goes in.
Speaker 2: She goes like, not in your asshole, but like into
Speaker 2: the crevice and you like, go up the crevice and
Speaker 2: I'm like and then the guy's like, no, you don't,
Speaker 2: and she's like what do you mean? And he's like,
Speaker 2: you put you lather your hands and then go in
Speaker 2: with your hands. And she was like what she's like
Speaker 2: using the bar, and I'm like, that's I from her?
Speaker 2: Oh really, I go soap into the crack you like
Speaker 2: a bar of soap? No, but if there is a bar, oh,
Speaker 2: like in a hotel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the hotel bar alone is.
Speaker 2: Fine, Yeah, okay, bar in my hand and then go mmm,
Speaker 2: I'm with you.
Speaker 1: I agree with it's soap, though.
Speaker 6: My rule is that it's soap, so it's gonna kill
Speaker 6: anything that gets on it.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's on it.
Speaker 5: It's soap already. You can't get cleaner than soap, and.
Speaker 1: It rinses off.
Speaker 2: I will say that I've been I've been scrubbing a
Speaker 2: lot more recently.
Speaker 1: Same Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: When I go I'm good, I just just I go no,
Speaker 2: and it still lingers. My showers have gotten three times
Speaker 2: as long, which is still three minutes but it's like.
Speaker 3: It's pride herself on how quicker showers were, and it
Speaker 3: was like, well these are these are just these are
Speaker 3: interfective shower.
Speaker 1: You're basically not doing it.
Speaker 2: I'm washing myself off all my jeans and blowing myself.
Speaker 1: Do you have a loof at? Yeah, that's what I
Speaker 1: do in the shower. No, I don't blow, it's just hand.
Speaker 4: It does feel nice, takes fully at all the dead skin.
Speaker 4: I feel like you might like it.
Speaker 2: It takes too long. I just I'm just too impatient.
Speaker 6: You showers, I see that's I hate how long it takes.
Speaker 6: And I'm a guy. I realize this is like, you know,
Speaker 6: out of turn, but I hate how long it takes
Speaker 6: to get ready in the morning.
Speaker 5: It takes.
Speaker 6: It's like for me, it's like twenty five minutes, and
Speaker 6: that's every day twenty five minutes.
Speaker 2: Does it take you twenty five minutes? It doesn't take
Speaker 2: me twenty minutes to do full hair and makeup and
Speaker 2: blow dry my hair. Okay, my hair, we're going to
Speaker 2: add more time. But what are you doing?
Speaker 7: Well?
Speaker 6: I go in the shower, I scream for ten minutes
Speaker 6: and then.
Speaker 1: There we go go. It's just the slow side, but
Speaker 1: a shower. Oh yeah, that takes another.
Speaker 6: Forty second, five reps of the slow slide, and then
Speaker 6: you and then yeah, it just putting all this stuff
Speaker 6: on your you know, I moisturize my face. I do
Speaker 6: beard oil, a lot of beard stuff.
Speaker 1: And then uh, I, which is your face? How malong?
Speaker 2: Are you? Like rubbing it in like little circles and
Speaker 2: like making sure I just like slap it on.
Speaker 1: Well, he's just crying and then he rubs his tears.
Speaker 6: I just watched American Psycho for the first time. Christian Bale.
Speaker 6: Do you guys remember the beginning of that movie where
Speaker 6: he's like putting all those creams on mm hmm. Anyway,
Speaker 6: that's a reference to something that doesn't relate to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but you take your time.
Speaker 6: I don't take my time as fast as I can.
Speaker 6: It takes twenty five minutes.
Speaker 2: I was watching a Conan clip and Sona, his assistant,
Speaker 2: was talking about how he applies lotions and how he
Speaker 2: She's like she was describing this to one of his
Speaker 2: guests and she was like, oh, he was putting on lipstick.
Speaker 2: Julia Luis drives his lipstick because she was like, I
Speaker 2: didn't know this is on video. I'm gonna put on
Speaker 2: lips that hughes I should would put on some show
Speaker 2: it's really fun anything, And he's putting on it. She goes,
Speaker 2: what are you doing? In sone is like he does
Speaker 2: everything roughly. He treats himself, he likes to abuse himself
Speaker 2: and everything he does. And I was like, that's what
Speaker 2: I do. Do you know anytimes I've put on jeans
Speaker 2: and I've cut my legs severely because I just scratch
Speaker 2: myself on my nail or something, or I've I've cut
Speaker 2: my face on my rings dozens of times I.
Speaker 1: Slap on It made me feel It made me feel good.
Speaker 2: That my hero Conan also does these things because we
Speaker 2: both do things fast and like hard, and we PLoP
Speaker 2: down on things and we throw things, and it just
Speaker 2: it felt good that there was because usually when you're
Speaker 2: looking for I've never had a single role model in
Speaker 2: this or like a single person that is like me.
Speaker 2: Everyone's always like you're so rough, you don't you don't
Speaker 2: get to have nice things? And why is am I
Speaker 2: doing these? In my mom's voice because she was the
Speaker 2: one that said them, But you ruin everything you have,
Speaker 2: Everything gets ruined I'm not buying you things anymore, and
Speaker 2: so it's nice that I was the first time I
Speaker 2: ever heard of anyone being rough like that.
Speaker 3: You notice it, Chris, Oh yeah, just being like well
Speaker 3: like yeah, like even like you opening drawers and cabinets.
Speaker 2: And like zipping things and everything is just yeah.
Speaker 4: You always seem like you're in a hurry and someone's
Speaker 4: timing you like you're on a game show and they're like,
Speaker 4: you gotta get it in the.
Speaker 1: Luggage.
Speaker 4: And sometimes I as a good time to your life,
Speaker 4: like you'll be like, don't just do this.
Speaker 2: I don't think that I probably have saved more time
Speaker 2: because I try to sometimes slow down because I've been
Speaker 2: I have to admit I've been slowing down because of
Speaker 2: you guys, like you're a therapist.
Speaker 1: Probably no, no, no, because of this trip.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be the one that's like walking
Speaker 2: faster than all of us. But I swear to God,
Speaker 2: I'm it's not like because I'm like you guys are
Speaker 2: so slow. I'm trying to be normal. I'm trying to
Speaker 2: fit in, and so I've just been walking slower and
Speaker 2: just like and like just and especially Chris, you are
Speaker 2: so materialous.
Speaker 4: And like shocked right now, Chris, and I know you should.
Speaker 4: We're like, really, I'm shooked, and I never even say shook.
Speaker 1: It's just like this is a revelation.
Speaker 2: There's just like things that you guys do that I
Speaker 2: am trying to emulate, where like if you were like, okay,
Speaker 2: let me just zip this up. This is an example
Speaker 2: of what I would do versus what they would do.
Speaker 2: Okay'm putting the mic down really quick. And this is
Speaker 2: something you'll have to go look at on YouTube to
Speaker 2: see my demonstration.
Speaker 4: Okay, you're doing. She has a fanny pack.
Speaker 2: Okay, oh thank you, Chris. So this is me opening
Speaker 2: my fanny pack and like taking something out, okay quick,
Speaker 2: and this is Anya.
Speaker 6: Like gently guy, it's likest I can hear the this
Speaker 6: is podcasting right here.
Speaker 1: This is me right that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, quick, Well, I would never do it because it's
Speaker 2: usually hooked.
Speaker 1: It's harnessed to me usually, and this is on just
Speaker 1: she'll be.
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, she's like watching each.
Speaker 2: Because no man ever looks at a woman and like
Speaker 2: a woman that's like flaw it's not graceful. But men
Speaker 2: love women that are just like so delicate. I don't delicate,
Speaker 2: and they like they work it like a gentle shaft,
Speaker 2: Like it's just like it's just it's it's so I don't.
Speaker 1: Think like a gentle hand job.
Speaker 3: Are you and Ally on different like timetables? Like are
Speaker 3: you moving slower than her? Is she getting frustrated?
Speaker 6: It's actually one of the only things we ever disagree
Speaker 6: about is I will be like walking twenty feet in
Speaker 6: front of her because I'm just like I gotta go,
Speaker 6: especially if I'm walking Jack, and She'll be like, can
Speaker 6: you just walk with me?
Speaker 5: That's right, I'm on a faster I'm a fast walker.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a New York. I think that's part of
Speaker 3: the New York and you what about you guys?
Speaker 2: Noah, I'm usually a fast walker, but I'm usually the
Speaker 2: one who gets left behind and like getting frustrated for
Speaker 2: Avy to wait up for me because it hits on
Speaker 2: my abandonment issues.
Speaker 3: What about like just in general, like when you're like
Speaker 3: leaving for a night out or like something has to
Speaker 3: get done and is somebody else are you guys like
Speaker 3: on different Oh yeah.
Speaker 2: I always wait until the last minute and I have
Speaker 2: to like do everything like really really fast, and I'm
Speaker 2: very frustrated because I know that I'm I should have
Speaker 2: thought about this a little bit more, and he's always packed.
Speaker 1: Like a couple of days in advance.
Speaker 2: But I will say that although that I am hasty
Speaker 2: and I move very quickly, I know exactly how long
Speaker 2: everything takes me, and I'm rarely if I'm late. It's
Speaker 2: because I kind of don't care about being late. But
Speaker 2: if I want to be on time, I know exactly
Speaker 2: I can get ready in twenty five minutes.
Speaker 1: You said you do.
Speaker 6: That really is where if you're late, you if you
Speaker 6: know you're going to be late, then you start slowing
Speaker 6: down like on purpose.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, when that's when that's when I've woken up
Speaker 2: late or something is just out of my hands late,
Speaker 2: that's when I just start going, oh, I'll just miss
Speaker 2: the entire lover era. That's what I did for Taylor
Speaker 2: Swift's concert. Yeah, it's an annoying thing. Chris, how do
Speaker 2: you feel like we I know how I feel about it.
Speaker 1: Tell me how you feel You know I moved my
Speaker 1: own pace.
Speaker 2: No, Chris, Chris is efficient, That's the thing, Chris, Chris Krish.
Speaker 1: Chris is efficient.
Speaker 2: He doesn't waste any time doing like stupid stuff, but
Speaker 2: he does move at a slower pace because he's making
Speaker 2: sure like he will be the one today when we
Speaker 2: checked out of the hotel in Berlin, he goes back
Speaker 2: in twice to check the room to make sure there's
Speaker 2: nothing left. And I'm the one that has to call
Speaker 2: and say, will you send me my AirPod?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, and leave no charger behind.
Speaker 4: I was just gonna say, maybe maybe I was born
Speaker 4: this way, like slightly slow, which I I bet I am,
Speaker 4: But also it's the result of a lifetime of like
Speaker 4: getting hurt because of the zipper thing. So I'm very
Speaker 4: like I've learned my lesson now I'm going to do
Speaker 4: things this way.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've always warned my lesson because it's
Speaker 2: not a value to you because you like that. I
Speaker 2: don't like I have never once. This is a big difference.
Speaker 2: Here's here's the root of it. People putting on and
Speaker 2: off shirts or sweaters is so different than the way
Speaker 2: I do it. Like one time I was I'm always
Speaker 2: my stylis favorite fittings, not only because they said the
Speaker 2: best boobs of anyone they've ever seen it, but those
Speaker 2: are hers. I will say one day I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: say you my stylist war who said this, because I
Speaker 2: have many different ones, but one time one of them said, uh,
Speaker 2: one of my stylists that I've used in the past said,
Speaker 2: my friend asked me the other day, of all the
Speaker 2: celebrities I've ever dressed, who has the best boobs?
Speaker 1: Because they were like, you've seen them naked.
Speaker 2: They were talking about, like you see celebrities naked all
Speaker 2: the time, and they said, without question, Niki Glazer and
Speaker 2: some good I go better than. And I was listening
Speaker 2: and they go, honestly yes, And so I was like,
Speaker 2: do you not know that?
Speaker 1: No, I know they're good, but I.
Speaker 2: Never knew that they were they were better than like
Speaker 2: thous and Breeze. That's not a real person, I yessir
Speaker 2: breath day. It's like, how is that?
Speaker 4: Like when I was describing Selma Hayek seeing her the
Speaker 4: time I saw her, Like.
Speaker 2: How is a person shaped like that? Well, that's really nice,
Speaker 2: It's like that. The point of this was to say that,
Speaker 2: but it was also to say that one time, this
Speaker 2: other stylist I was working with he said, I've never
Speaker 2: worked with anyone that is as fast as you, because
Speaker 2: usually people are like putting on the pants and then
Speaker 2: they like button the button if there's a button, and
Speaker 2: there's like also like you know the tongs that like
Speaker 2: latch on, I will not button the button. I'll just
Speaker 2: do the tongs and I'll do the button later if
Speaker 2: I remember that. I often forget zippers. But he was like,
Speaker 2: there's no he goes you take off pants because he'll
Speaker 2: be like, you know, actually that doesn't work. Let's try
Speaker 2: something else. So he turn around and then as he
Speaker 2: turns back around, he's like, I'm already standing there naked,
Speaker 2: and he's like, you are like a gay man. You
Speaker 2: were like, you take down your pants as fast as
Speaker 2: a gay guy who for the first time gets a blowjob.
Speaker 2: And like he finally goes, you know what, I'm gay
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna do this and he's like that's and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that's totally how I move. But
Speaker 2: it's yeah, it's it's it's always been something I've been
Speaker 2: ashamed of. It's my whole life. I've been loud, and
Speaker 2: I've been fast, and I've been I move too fast,
Speaker 2: I slam things around. I'm not careful with things, and
Speaker 2: my family isn't like that. No one in my family is.
Speaker 1: So it's always been a shameful thing.
Speaker 4: But I think maybe the the this is the exciting
Speaker 4: time of your life where maybe this will be the
Speaker 4: chapter of really leaning into accepting who you are and.
Speaker 1: And just liking loving myself.
Speaker 2: Well, I do like it because I can't stand watching
Speaker 2: these comedy specials and hearing people talk this slow and delivered.
Speaker 1: I like when Ali Wong.
Speaker 2: Talks as slow as she does because she it's it's
Speaker 2: there's a purpose to it, and she's not just slowing
Speaker 2: down because she doesn't have material, because she does talk
Speaker 2: very slow sometimes and says I want to drown my daughter.
Speaker 2: It's awesome, and it's it's it's my favorite.
Speaker 1: We're really loving Ally's specials. She can't no wrong, she
Speaker 1: can do.
Speaker 2: And Christmas not really familiar with her comedy and was like,
Speaker 2: we'll see, and I just love how much he loves her.
Speaker 2: But then Bill Burr he talks really fast too, which
Speaker 2: I like. But yeah, I'm grateful that I talk fast
Speaker 2: because of comedy and think fast for it, but move fast.
Speaker 2: My body suffers the brunt of that. We'll be back
Speaker 2: with more show after this. We're back, Let's do a
Speaker 2: little Reddit dump. Noah, are you ready with some clips
Speaker 2: that I sent you because I don't even know what
Speaker 2: I sent you.
Speaker 1: But let's review some of them.
Speaker 2: Hold on, you move too fast from me?
Speaker 1: Okay, I know I didn't even tell you.
Speaker 2: This is your redit dump.
Speaker 1: That's my old voice where you can really tell the difference.
Speaker 2: Read it down, and I'm back to ruining my voice
Speaker 2: because if I just did that.
Speaker 1: Erased all of the doctor's I tells work.
Speaker 2: Okay, Noah, what's the Just surprise me because I don't
Speaker 2: even I sent Noah all the videos I had saved
Speaker 2: a couple of days ago, and I don't remember which one.
Speaker 5: I want to do.
Speaker 1: This one. I think it's very upwarding.
Speaker 2: This one is titled marathon. Maybe you'll remember it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, what what.
Speaker 1: One second? So Anya, it's a.
Speaker 2: Okay, So what we're watching is is a guy that
Speaker 2: is his girlfriend.
Speaker 3: His girlfriend is on his way. So there's a there's
Speaker 3: a guy and he's encouraging his girlfriend. His girlfriend is
Speaker 3: on the bed and she is basically acting like the
Speaker 3: guy in the relationship, and he's like coaching because basically
Speaker 3: he's like, this is what I gotta do, right, So,
Speaker 3: like you know, and so he's like, you got to go.
Speaker 3: I go harder than that, and she's going and she's
Speaker 3: getting tired, and it's like, you know, it's a twenty
Speaker 3: second long video.
Speaker 1: You can't just stop.
Speaker 2: And the caption is why I last a minute. And
Speaker 2: it really did like make me feel because I know
Speaker 2: whenever I'm have you know, in the in the in
Speaker 2: the past, been on top, which is rare. Once in
Speaker 2: a while, I try to get up there.
Speaker 1: I go, you know what, I want.
Speaker 2: To go on a hike, and so I put I
Speaker 2: go off there and it is so hard up It's
Speaker 2: so elevation up there.
Speaker 6: I you're you're planking first of all, and that's so hard.
Speaker 2: But it makes sense that I like men being up
Speaker 2: there because men are just like have more brawn anyway,
Speaker 2: so they can like put up with it. But like,
Speaker 2: do you guys get so exhausted, Like I don't know
Speaker 2: how you do that?
Speaker 3: Everybody should do watch that video and have to do
Speaker 3: that exact thing for a minute.
Speaker 4: I have so many questions about how men have sex.
Speaker 4: First of all, I've wondered this too, like how do
Speaker 4: you have the stamina? But also do you when you
Speaker 4: started having sex where you're like where do I put
Speaker 4: my knees? Like inside their legs or outside their legs, Like,
Speaker 4: did you ever worry about your stance?
Speaker 1: Did you worry about yours? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I was like, what's the right way because in movies
Speaker 4: women always would do like have their knees.
Speaker 2: Up then like or like around them. Yeah, And I
Speaker 2: was like, feel good to me? And I knew I
Speaker 2: liked like being really straight legged, oh right, and like
Speaker 2: ten and I was like, oh, this feels so much better.
Speaker 2: But no one in movies is like there are no
Speaker 2: women in movies, like on a tobog you don't like
Speaker 2: that during missionary though, Like, I think I can't.
Speaker 1: Leg right now. I have to think a boat chopstick
Speaker 1: legs before you pull them apart.
Speaker 4: I think I might do it, you know, I think
Speaker 4: I might have chopsticks legs.
Speaker 5: I don't.
Speaker 1: I definitely don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Isn't that weird that I don't. I'm
Speaker 2: relaxing and max and all cool. Oh yeah yeah when
Speaker 2: you're coming. Yeah really, I don't think I can have
Speaker 2: an orgasm like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm saying too much on the pod lately because
Speaker 4: I'm meeting besties after shows and then it's like they
Speaker 4: know everything about me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you forget what you reveal. Yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 1: think I gave it.
Speaker 2: I gave a kissing a lot of thought, but sex,
Speaker 2: I think it was. I was like, he should know
Speaker 2: because he was much older than me. And I was like, then,
Speaker 2: I'm if I'm new at something, I don't feel bad
Speaker 2: when i'm bad at it. Oh, you mean kissing her sex?
Speaker 4: Sex?
Speaker 1: Kissing?
Speaker 2: I felt really bad because I knew that it was
Speaker 2: a simple thing and I wanted to get it right.
Speaker 2: But sex was full of dirt, and kissing is disgusting.
Speaker 2: Everyone kisses all the time and that's somehow okay.
Speaker 1: But it's kissing what we do. It's the same you
Speaker 1: kiss me with what I do. But yeah, it's pumping.
Speaker 1: Seems hard, It is okay.
Speaker 2: Next video, hung out to dry.
Speaker 1: Knew that Chris wasn't going to answer it. Last line,
Speaker 1: it seems hard. It was a good ending. Yeah, did
Speaker 1: you feel.
Speaker 9: Like to end?
Speaker 7: I know?
Speaker 1: She just made me laugh. I thought it was a funny,
Speaker 1: same way I liked it.
Speaker 2: I wait, you, we're gonna ask you to do that
Speaker 2: for all of it? You give us a final takeaway?
Speaker 7: We won't.
Speaker 3: We won't ask for you just when you feel like
Speaker 3: it's over. You've got to give your final take.
Speaker 1: That's a good that's a good idea.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, So this next one is titled how Adam
Speaker 2: Brody met Leyton Measter? Do you remember? Why? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 2: they're together?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Wait, why is this not making it big? Hold on
Speaker 2: before you press play? Can I try to make this big?
Speaker 1: God for us? This is okay?
Speaker 2: This goes on a little long, but this was I
Speaker 2: only picked this because it was talking about It's kind
Speaker 2: of goes into getting to I do stuff.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, So this is Adam.
Speaker 2: Brody wondering if you remember the first time lately entered
Speaker 2: your consciousness.
Speaker 9: I think different time I saw her is when I
Speaker 9: met her at Canner's, the dalli.
Speaker 7: In law Sanduelus.
Speaker 9: I used to eat there all the time, and I
Speaker 9: think Josh. I was there on my own with maybe
Speaker 9: a friend or two, and Josh happened to be like
Speaker 9: taking a bunch of the cast of Gossip Girl through
Speaker 9: like after a prop party for like your first upfronts,
Speaker 9: and I saw her and yeah that's when I that's
Speaker 9: when I saw her, and yeah, I was I was
Speaker 9: smitten instantly, and I was, you know, smitten for a
Speaker 9: long time.
Speaker 4: I didn't.
Speaker 9: I didn't get to know her for many years after,
Speaker 9: even though we even worked together briefly. She she was
Speaker 9: she's so lovely, and she's she's so sweet, she's so nice,
Speaker 9: she's so good. And this is to her credit. She
Speaker 9: remained elusive to me for so long, you know, and
Speaker 9: aloof I didn't. I couldn't like get a total read
Speaker 9: because even though she professes to have been interested in
Speaker 9: me and all those things, not only did she not
Speaker 9: pursue that, I mean, she was perfectly willing to let
Speaker 9: that never happen, if it never you know, yeah, she
Speaker 9: was perfectly willing to let that message in the bottle
Speaker 9: returned to see and at several points.
Speaker 5: And she already had faith in your love.
Speaker 1: She was already letting you go.
Speaker 2: She says.
Speaker 9: Oh, it's because I knew if we did it would
Speaker 9: it would be the thing you know, or like you.
Speaker 7: Know, Okay, so I can just relate so hard to
Speaker 7: that guy, the male co host who is too close
Speaker 7: to the screen, and it's like.
Speaker 2: Hmm, I think it was, Oh yeah, so there was
Speaker 2: that's like the guy from Gossip Girls podcast.
Speaker 1: I was making fun of the girl being.
Speaker 2: Like she is so lovely, because I just can't stand
Speaker 2: when beautiful people are also like amazing humans too, and
Speaker 2: everyone fucking loves them, Like, can't she be a cunt?
Speaker 1: I would love for that.
Speaker 2: You could just tell the way the girl said it,
Speaker 2: she probably is an amazing person, and it bugs me.
Speaker 2: I'm just like enough that she's stunning and is married
Speaker 2: to this guy from The OC that we all had
Speaker 2: a crush on.
Speaker 1: Not me, definitely not. I had no one on that
Speaker 1: show andest in me at all. He's the guy that
Speaker 1: made nerds cool. Wait which show? OC? Oh? Yeah, that
Speaker 1: Adrian Brodie guy seems cool. Wait that's him. Wait, what's
Speaker 1: his name, Seth? He was named Seth Cohen on The OC.
Speaker 1: What's his name in real life? Adam Brody? Adam Brody?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, is Adrian Brody the pianist? That guy?
Speaker 1: Yes he is, He's the pianist. But yeah.
Speaker 2: He also said the word a loof in there, that
Speaker 2: she was a loof. And by the way, we Chris
Speaker 2: and I did not, we were going by a lesser
Speaker 2: known Like there's two definitions of a loof that you
Speaker 2: just found today. At lunch, he was talking about someone
Speaker 2: and said they were a loof and we were like,
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, I don't think that person's a
Speaker 2: loof at all.
Speaker 1: And he's like, you know, just kind of like.
Speaker 2: Just not really paying attention to things like kend of
Speaker 2: going by the seat of their own pants.
Speaker 1: Like almost like the head in the cloud type like.
Speaker 8: Going by the seat of their own bo pants that
Speaker 8: too long.
Speaker 1: Take the socks from them tonight sandals?
Speaker 2: Wait, what's the one that Georgio says that's so cute?
Speaker 2: Our friend's husband says, it's like, oh, there, I thought
Speaker 2: you would remember it. Never mind, it's a really cute
Speaker 2: what is what is your mom's mom.
Speaker 4: Says take their socks from them when I play a show,
Speaker 4: and she means knock their socks off.
Speaker 7: So cute.
Speaker 2: Okay, waste again. So what does aloof mean?
Speaker 1: Babe?
Speaker 3: Okay, there's two definitions. One is not friendly or forthcoming,
Speaker 3: cool and distant, but then the other one is conspicuously uninvolved.
Speaker 4: Aspicuous meaning oh I get it, like I'm taking myself
Speaker 4: out of this situation.
Speaker 1: Being very obvious that I'm uninvolved.
Speaker 5: I thought it was I.
Speaker 1: Thought it wasn't rude.
Speaker 3: I thought it was innocently uninvolved. Like yes, like It
Speaker 3: wasn't something that was rude, agreed, It.
Speaker 2: Was just I thought loo was we could see how interesting.
Speaker 1: He's just like living their life by their own pants,
Speaker 1: their own pants.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I just thought that that clip was like,
Speaker 2: of course, this perfect girl who's.
Speaker 1: Like, you know, she's rolling right, it's really cool.
Speaker 2: Like was totally didn't even care about Adam Brody, who
Speaker 2: ended up being her husband. So it's obviously she was
Speaker 2: attracted to this person, and she was cool.
Speaker 1: Enough to not care at all and let it go.
Speaker 2: And it's like, write a book, Layton, teach people how
Speaker 2: you got that way. Maybe your parents should write a
Speaker 2: book like we should. All every woman should be like that,
Speaker 2: but no one is my parents.
Speaker 4: My dad told me something about my mom that really
Speaker 4: sounded like what Adam just said in there, about the
Speaker 4: message in the bottle, like she didn't mind casting that
Speaker 4: bottle out at sea and never seeing him again, if
Speaker 4: that was the possibility.
Speaker 2: My dad goes, I remember something about your mom.
Speaker 1: I met her.
Speaker 4: You know, we were engaged six weeks later, but I
Speaker 4: remember in that six weeks I thought I'm going to
Speaker 4: marry this woman.
Speaker 2: I go, what made you realize that?
Speaker 4: And he goes, we got into a little tiff, and
Speaker 4: I just remember thinking, she can live, she doesn't need
Speaker 4: me at all, she can take me or leave me, right,
Speaker 4: And he goes, I like that, and I don't like
Speaker 4: he didn't want to lose her, but he had the
Speaker 4: feeling that she was like if you don't like it, basically.
Speaker 2: And that is a that is a quality that's got
Speaker 2: to be attractive, because no one wants someone that like
Speaker 2: needs even though we've grown up with like you complete me,
Speaker 2: and that's like what a relationship is. There's something cool
Speaker 2: about someone that like they'll be okay with that, Like
Speaker 2: I want that person because you know, do you think
Speaker 2: I need you?
Speaker 1: I do need you.
Speaker 4: I mean he wanted to be needed, but you when
Speaker 4: guys are both rooted in yourselves, you're not going to
Speaker 4: be sacrifice your values for the other person, right.
Speaker 3: I think we're better together, but I don't think that
Speaker 3: you need me no.
Speaker 1: Whatever he says. It also changes. It changes over time.
Speaker 6: Like if you're not dating yet, you can't be looking
Speaker 6: for a partner because you need your needs fulfilled. But
Speaker 6: if you've been together for like ten or fifteen years
Speaker 6: and you developed some kind of dependency on the person,
Speaker 6: for something.
Speaker 5: I think, that's fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Like Chris always Chris got me chargers for adapters for
Speaker 2: this trip, and like I thought he got me even
Speaker 2: a hair dryer he got me, he got he said,
Speaker 2: and he didn't ask me. He wasn't like, hey, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna get these things that he just did. And I
Speaker 2: did not even think until the night before, like maybe
Speaker 2: they have different plugs, like I would never think of that.
Speaker 1: Not that I would never think of.
Speaker 2: It, I just knew I didn't need to because I
Speaker 2: was worn with this guy.
Speaker 1: I had that thought.
Speaker 2: Today.
Speaker 4: I was wondering, I wonder if Nikki thought to herself, Chris,
Speaker 4: I'll get the adapters.
Speaker 1: Or yes I did, because I was.
Speaker 2: I'm with him, so anything that we are like, he'll
Speaker 2: figure it out.
Speaker 1: So nice. But if I was.
Speaker 2: Going alone, but when you're with Matt, like when you're
Speaker 2: on you were doing the Flint House, usually on tour
Speaker 2: it's you and Matt, yeah, and then it's me alone,
Speaker 2: and it's like, if I was going here alone, I
Speaker 2: would have been obsessive about like what what.
Speaker 1: If they do like this?
Speaker 2: Like I was wondering that, well, food wise, I have
Speaker 2: all food for me. I've prepared. I've had all the
Speaker 2: adapters of food. I have everything that will make it
Speaker 2: so that I can actually eat and function here. So
Speaker 2: I've taken care of that because that's not something that
Speaker 2: Chris is responsible for for me, right, but everything else
Speaker 2: like Chris has got it, and the same with you,
Speaker 2: like even yesterday when you went up to Starbucks. Final thought,
Speaker 2: yesterday when you went up to get my drink reheated
Speaker 2: for me, Chris goes, is this like something she does,
Speaker 2: like because she's working for you as like the tour manager,
Speaker 2: or is this like what she would do normally? And
Speaker 2: I was like, I think a little of both, Like
Speaker 2: I just need I wouldn't it's it was I knew
Speaker 2: that you would do it for me because you're like
Speaker 2: more sassy when it comes to that. You're not scared
Speaker 2: to ask people for what you need, like you're not
Speaker 2: at the airport today.
Speaker 1: You're like, I feel like I learned to like is
Speaker 1: this tour manager on you or a friend?
Speaker 2: And I was like, it's all of both, I think,
Speaker 2: but I think even if you weren't other thing it
Speaker 2: was fun?
Speaker 1: Why is that fun? It's fun for me? It's like
Speaker 1: a lark.
Speaker 2: I mean, I won't do it again, but yeah, or
Speaker 2: like it.
Speaker 4: Just felt like, let's see what happens here, Like I
Speaker 4: enjoy that when it's not me.
Speaker 1: If it was my drink, I might be mortified.
Speaker 2: I'm the same way you're like you do like other
Speaker 2: people's homework. I like writing jokes for other people, and
Speaker 2: when it comes to myself it's too much or like
Speaker 2: it's interesting. It's like, yeah, why is it okay to
Speaker 2: take up for someone else? But yeah, Krista, there's so
Speaker 2: many things that I'm like, if I got even today
Speaker 2: with the Wi Fi issue, I was just like, wait
Speaker 2: till Chris gets here, Like I he'll figure out the
Speaker 2: chords or like whatever. It's just that's what's really nice
Speaker 2: about a partnership is that someone does something for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, But then there's also like it'll take me
Speaker 3: he manages to do something technical that would take you
Speaker 3: a half hour to do.
Speaker 1: Yes, the same thing.
Speaker 3: If I was like I need a joke for this thing,
Speaker 3: it could take me three months to think of something
Speaker 3: that you could think of in thirty seconds.
Speaker 2: Nice, but yeah, it's that is what's nice about having
Speaker 2: But because I was I was very unprepared for this trip.
Speaker 2: In every way, and I realized, because it's not like me,
Speaker 2: I worry about what if they don't have this thing?
Speaker 2: What if they The funniest moment was when we I
Speaker 2: started having anxiety, which I talked about on the podcast
Speaker 2: before I left, about all my European anxiety about what
Speaker 2: if they don't have this thing and the language and
Speaker 2: I look like a stupid American. And I started having
Speaker 2: that as we were descending into Berlin and I go
Speaker 2: to Chris and I was like, I'm just kind of
Speaker 2: like stressed out right now, because like what if we
Speaker 2: land and they don't have Uber and we got to
Speaker 2: get a taxi and the guy doesn't speak English and
Speaker 2: he thinks we're stupid and like he doesn't know where
Speaker 2: we're saying, and he just kind of goes, I don't know,
Speaker 2: I don't know. And then we have that moment where
Speaker 2: you're like both your languages you just go, I don't know.
Speaker 2: And then we have to take all of our luggage
Speaker 2: out and he goes, uber is a German word.
Speaker 1: Are gonna be fine?
Speaker 2: And I was just like, you're right, like it's all
Speaker 2: gonna be okay, But I just get so freaked out
Speaker 2: and it's nice to like put my worries in your
Speaker 2: knapsack where you organize them.
Speaker 3: But that's like, I think, good couples, you know, obviously
Speaker 3: have all these wonderful things about each other, but it's
Speaker 3: nice when you can fill in each other's gaps a
Speaker 3: little bit, like, yeah, you're not you know, like you
Speaker 3: you don't travel internationally all the time. I've done it
Speaker 3: quite a bit more than you. So it's like I
Speaker 3: wasn't even thinking about like things to be nervous about
Speaker 3: because you're like, oh, this isn't that hard.
Speaker 5: It's so nice.
Speaker 4: Last time I came to europros with my sister and
Speaker 4: she's been here a ton, so it's just nice to
Speaker 4: have somebody. It's like I got this, I know this
Speaker 4: train station, I know where they are going.
Speaker 3: Brian, do you and Ali what are things that like
Speaker 3: you like, she's deficient in or great at that you're
Speaker 3: you know, either deficient in or like how do you
Speaker 3: guys fill in each other's like sandwiches?
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's happy and I'm sad. I think that's the
Speaker 6: main one.
Speaker 5: Something beautiful. Yeah she's beautiful, I'm ugly, she's.
Speaker 6: Uh no, that's really it.
Speaker 5: It's the optimism versus the pessimism.
Speaker 6: She'll come in with like reasons why things aren't so
Speaker 6: bad and not come in with all the reasons why
Speaker 6: you should be careful.
Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you this.
Speaker 2: Because this is often something that every person in my
Speaker 2: life deals with in a relationship. When your partner complains
Speaker 2: about something. What do you do you like when you're
Speaker 2: being pessimistic about something? Do you want her to listen?
Speaker 2: Or do you want her to offer advice and try
Speaker 2: to like fix it?
Speaker 5: When I'm being pessimistic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when there's like a problem in your life and
Speaker 2: you're just like it's not gonna work and you're just
Speaker 2: be you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, it's all going wrong. Yeah.
Speaker 6: What I don't want is for her to tell me
Speaker 6: why I'm wrong about being sad about this thing.
Speaker 5: You know, I want her to listen.
Speaker 6: I we've we've talked about this many times, and sometimes
Speaker 6: it's hard to do because I know that that's not
Speaker 6: her natural inclination to be like, you're right, that does suck.
Speaker 5: Even when she says that.
Speaker 6: Sucks, I know that that's just not her and it
Speaker 6: comes off fake. But that's what you really want to
Speaker 6: hear when you're like, man, I just did I love
Speaker 6: my phone broke and now Verizon's really being a pain
Speaker 6: in the ass, and her natural inclination is to be like, well,
Speaker 6: you can get another phone, and I'm sure it won't
Speaker 6: be that bad. But what I really want to be
Speaker 6: like is, yeah, they suck. We should go kill them all,
Speaker 6: you know. Like that type of thing, just my negativity.
Speaker 6: But when it comes to things like before I'm sad
Speaker 6: about stuff, or just like an outlook in life, you
Speaker 6: realize as a pessimistic person that maybe I should be
Speaker 6: optimistic about things, and maybe it's a maybe, even though
Speaker 6: it feels against the green and you feel stupid when
Speaker 6: you're optimistic, it feels like as a pessimistic person, I
Speaker 6: think Nikki, you're the same way as a pessimistic person.
Speaker 6: Seeing optimistic people makes you think optimistic people must be dumb.
Speaker 1: They're not thinking of the all the problems that could happen. Yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: in many ways. In some ways, I.
Speaker 3: Mean my thing when Nikki's like catastrophizing or like projecting
Speaker 3: that something is going to be bad, my thing is like, okay, maybe,
Speaker 3: but what if it's gonna be good?
Speaker 1: Or what if it's going to be great to have
Speaker 1: that or what if it's or what if it's.
Speaker 3: Just going to be not as bad as you think
Speaker 3: like this, Like you know, even last night, like the
Speaker 3: the the shows, they could have been a disaster because
Speaker 3: nobody could have understood a bunch of Nikki's references or
Speaker 3: jokes or whatever. And it's like, but what if it was,
Speaker 3: it might be good? And so I mean, I think
Speaker 3: that's one thing I try to do without being annoying,
Speaker 3: because you can beat There's like something called what's a
Speaker 3: toxic positivity? And you don't want to get into that
Speaker 3: too much, but you do want to be like, but
Speaker 3: what if you're wrong?
Speaker 2: I like that I I am the opposite of when
Speaker 2: I'm in those things of like I'm ugly, I hate myself,
Speaker 2: I'm never funny. I want people to go, you're fucking
Speaker 2: insane right now. You don't, You're you literally don't make
Speaker 2: any sense, Like I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Like
Speaker 2: I'm so sad that you're said, like I like that
Speaker 2: Anny will give me a hug and Chris will like
Speaker 2: rub my back and like and and and be sweet
Speaker 2: to me, you know what I mean. But I don't
Speaker 2: want to. I don't I want to hear you're crazy
Speaker 2: right now, you're not thinking correctly, because then that that
Speaker 2: makes me feel like I have an ex because if
Speaker 2: you just try to prove me wrong and say like,
Speaker 2: but that's not that, that's not the way I see it,
Speaker 2: I feel smarter than you. But if you call me crazy,
Speaker 2: like because I know I'm crazy. I know my brain
Speaker 2: does not process information the right way sometimes and like
Speaker 2: will twist things like I have life dysmorphia. You know,
Speaker 2: like some people look in the mirror and they think
Speaker 2: they're fat, Like sometimes I look in the like you know,
Speaker 2: I just see everything wrong, and so I kind of
Speaker 2: like when you're like, I'm just not seeing what you're seeing. Like,
Speaker 2: I like that, and.
Speaker 4: That's why I'm trying to I always get anxious when
Speaker 4: when someone's like that because I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 4: the right thing to say, because I want to say
Speaker 4: you're crazy, but then sometimes that can trigger the person
Speaker 4: and be like, don't tell me I'm crazy.
Speaker 5: It's really hard to say thing.
Speaker 1: I mean it is.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I have I have a perfect analogy for for like.
Speaker 5: The positive you gotta have those.
Speaker 6: It's so nice to have a supportive, optimistic person in
Speaker 6: your life to tell you those things, and.
Speaker 1: Well, it's perfect.
Speaker 5: Sorry, I have a perfect analogy for this.
Speaker 1: It's like he's like, it's when a sweet tango. It's
Speaker 1: like you've got a Daviota strawberry.
Speaker 6: Right, It's like you're on one side of the street
Speaker 6: and I'm like, I don't want to go to the
Speaker 6: other side of the street. It's gonna be shitty over
Speaker 6: there and it's dangerous. And then your partner is like, we.
Speaker 5: Should cross the street.
Speaker 6: There could be great things across the street. And then
Speaker 6: you go, okay, let's cross the street. But before we cross,
Speaker 6: we're gonna look both ways. That's I think that's our relationship.
Speaker 2: Ah okay, that's sweet.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 2: And you're gonna hold my hand. Yeah, and if it sucks,
Speaker 2: you'll admit that it sucks too, Like you'll you'll entertain that.
Speaker 1: I like, but how how often are we wrong about
Speaker 1: what we think something?
Speaker 2: Every single time I knew my shows were gonna be
Speaker 2: fine yesterday, I knew that even when I was crying
Speaker 2: about it, Like, but I still felt like even if
Speaker 2: they go wrong, I still suck. And I just tricked them.
Speaker 2: And that was my point of like, I'm not good
Speaker 2: at this. I don't deserve to be doing this. Even
Speaker 2: if it's good, it doesn't matter because it's it's I'm
Speaker 2: fundamentally stayed. Look at this photograph. This is how you know?
Speaker 1: That's also nback damn it. Yes, I love Wait we
Speaker 1: we what it was it? Noah?
Speaker 2: We used to always recall it on the show. Oh,
Speaker 2: it's been a while since I've made that reference. All right, Well,
Speaker 2: we covered a lot of ground today in Europe. We
Speaker 2: will be back in Europe again the next time we
Speaker 2: you hear from us, and thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed the pod.
Speaker 2: Thank you Brian, thank you, on You, thank you Chris,
Speaker 2: thank you, Noah, Thank you besties, and we'll see you.
Speaker 1: On the next episode. Can't wait.
Speaker 2: Just cross the street with your partner and trust that
Speaker 2: they'll help you get through it with both pleas