WEBVTT - Throwback: We Can Create Our Own Holidays 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:04.280 Happy Holidays listeners. It's Amber here. The ladies are taking 0:00:04.280 --> 0:00:07.920 a week off for some much needed rest, but we 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:11.119 wanted to share last season's episode about making the holidays 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:15.680 your own. In this throwback, Jill, Asia and Laia share 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:19.919 their favorite traditions. We know that this is not the 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:22.640 easiest time of year for folks, but remember to take 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:27.000 care of you. There's power and peace and your divine no. 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.320 I hope you all get some rest, whatever that may 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:34.000 look like before the start of Infuse your days with 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:36.920 a little audio, soul food, and catch up on any 0:00:36.960 --> 0:00:39.760 episode you missed of j dot Ill. We'll be back 0:00:39.800 --> 0:00:48.800 next week with a special episode to end out Welcome 0:00:48.840 --> 0:01:08.160 to j dot do a production of What's Up? Everybody? 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:11.000 How are you? I hope that you're so good? Thank 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:14.280 you so much for checking in with us. Um. This 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:17.360 is j do Ill the podcast, and I'm here with 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:22.400 my sister friends, my strong powerful woman, Liah Sinclair, strong 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:28.040 and Powerful, Damn Straight and Age of Graydon Danceler Booty, 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:34.120 whoa I like when I say dance dance That's a 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:38.560 nice name. I wish I had more syllables. I didn't 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:46.120 get enough syllables. And I'm gonna tell you that my 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:49.880 mother put an exclamation point on my birth certificate. You 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:54.120 mention that to you, You told me, Yes, So my 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:59.440 name is really Jill Scott. That's amazing. It really is, though, 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:04.800 Like it really is. I I enjoyed that choice. Your 0:02:04.880 --> 0:02:09.799 son King, that's a nice name. It is a nice name. Yeah. 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:13.320 My nephew's name is King. It's short for Kingston, but 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:16.680 we call him King. I saw you had a pretty 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:22.359 baby on the Instagram. A that's your knee. She's so beautiful. 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:26.600 First of all, my sister in law, my sister in love. Yeah, 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:30.160 I really do believe that she was brought here to 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:35.360 the earth to make pretty babies because she literally has 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:41.880 five little girls and they are all adorable. Like she's 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:46.320 a little pretty black girl baby making machine. And she 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:50.959 her latest one is ah, it's the icing on the cake, 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:55.520 her latest one, her latest one. Listen, I'm like Jill, 0:02:56.639 --> 0:03:01.040 the dam women like them babies, honey is point. Okay, 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:07.639 they take the socks off when they're handling them. They 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:11.920 take the socks off. Yes, girl, Yeah, you have a 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:15.520 really really big family, huh, I do. But the teen 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:18.880 my husband is the oldest of six children, and this 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:22.640 is his sister who also now has six children, as 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:27.440 we have six children. But yes, so they are a 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:31.760 lot of cooking. Oh yeah, girl, you know I've cooked 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.960 every day for bazilion years, but now I don't do 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:37.360 it anymore. I'm gonna tell you what broke me, this 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:41.720 here pandemic. I cooked every day for about three and 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:44.600 finally I just was like, I can't do it anymore. 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:49.200 So I implemented finn for yourself night. Oh and I 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:55.480 also I also look hashtag like the kids. Okay, give 0:03:55.560 --> 0:04:01.240 it to um fit for yourself. I'm just shaking my head, yes, sir. 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:06.040 And then was also just my older children had to 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:08.920 take a certain night to cook. So yeah, a lot 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:11.600 a lot of cooking. Can you come from a big 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:14.760 family like you? No, it's you know, it's just me 0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:17.120 up and here. But my mother and my father are 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.039 both the youngest of their bruise Like, my mom's the 0:04:19.080 --> 0:04:21.719 youngest of five, my dad's youngest of nine. And yeah, 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:24.360 this is it for me. So I adopt people. I 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:26.560 got a lot of god brothers and sisters and whatnot. 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:31.840 So the holiday times is kind of uh, it's it's 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:35.320 more relaxed for you because how many people are showing 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:39.920 up friends and family or it depends. Last year we 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:41.600 did the whole. A lot of New York folks from 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:43.440 my dad's side came down and we had dinner at 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.240 my mom's house. So that was really nice. But to 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:49.200 be honest, shoot, as far as the Christmas holidays and 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:52.520 then only child, we cut that out about twenty five 0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:55.440 years ago after the presidents and we just decided to travel. 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:58.960 We do our own things on the holiday. That's delicious. 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:04.320 My mama likes so jealous. Yeah, that's nice, So let's 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:07.479 go somewhere instead. So now that we started that little tradition, 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.800 I'm trying to hopefully maybe this year and maybe well 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:14.240 don't I don't win. When do you start preparing for 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:18.159 the travel? Well, Jill, as a daughter of a flight attendant, 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:23.120 do right, I'm like that can vary from mommy, we're 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.720 gonna we're going this year. We're we're going. Okay, so 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.599 come three a week before, we're gonna start packing and 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:31.960 then and then a couple of days for that, we're 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:34.000 gonna pick the flight to see what the low look like. Oh, 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:39.680 this fight attended life is real. Yeah yeah, so you Angel, 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:44.320 you you gotta you know, cook for a lot of people. 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:48.400 Let me tell you something. Thanksgiving was all I mean 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:52.520 for years and turkeys, isn't it? Well? No, not, well, 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:54.960 it is if we go to family's house, if we 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:56.560 go over, we went up. We've gone over to my 0:05:56.600 --> 0:05:59.800 mother in law's house many times. And then because also too, 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:03.240 I have a mother, we have bounced from my husband's 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:06.080 mother's house to my mom's house, until finally I had 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:09.360 so many kids, I was like, listen, y'all, I don't 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:12.640 feel like dressing all these kids, cart and all these 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:15.599 kids to go over to somebody else's houses and eat, 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:18.200 And then like, what is the leftover situation gonna be? Like? 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:20.880 By the time I pack up food from your house, 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.200 I'd then packed up leftovers that looked like a whole 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:26.120 like I cooked. So I was like, no, I'm gonna 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.600 cook at home. I sit there and feed my children. 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:31.280 I said, if y'all want to see these kids, I 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:34.040 bring them over for a dessert or something like that. 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.400 My mother with my mother and my family and my 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:39.920 in laws are like a family. They're close to. So 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:42.359 my my siblings and my mom are all close to 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:45.080 my husband's sibling and mother. So we have a bit 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:48.200 of a really good mixture. So we tend to spend 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:52.000 time together. And we also have two different religions in 0:06:52.040 --> 0:07:04.640 our family. That's how I was about because my mother 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:08.919 we don't celebrate Christmas because we're Muslims. My mother and 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:10.880 please don't get mad at me for cussing and carrying 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:12.600 on in this show, like look, y'all can just save 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:17.040 the emails now, I cuss um so uh. And my 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:22.480 mother's side is Christian, and so typically Thanksgiving over the 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:26.280 years would be the time that we would end up altogether, 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:30.160 but on on the on the Islamic side, on the 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:33.240 Muslim side, we would do eat dinners and that would 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:35.440 be that's the time. Add there's two eads a year 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:38.720 and a calendar Islamic year, and so we would get 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:42.760 together and cook and eat for eat, And then I 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:44.360 just thought about that, Asia, you've got a lot of 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:46.120 holidays in your bigs, like you got not a hot 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:49.080 but traditions. You got a lot of traditions. And that's 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:52.200 a lot of traditions. But it's not that you know, 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.600 it's actually I think really good for the kids because 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:58.280 the kids get to just understand about diversity within family 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:01.480 and that you know, blood of ties are stronger than 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:05.120 cultural ties and that you can still really believe and 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:07.280 do what you do and still be able to be 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:11.240 respectful of your family and things like that. So I've 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:13.280 I've loved over the years that my kids have got 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:16.200 an opportunity to do that, and the little extra work 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:18.600 is just that, Hey, you know, you gotta have an 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:22.440 extra conversation. You gotta keep family on point, make sure 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:25.480 everybody is aware, you know, that kind of thing. And 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:29.080 even with Christmas, though my children don't celebrate Christmas, they 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:32.959 have family members who do so in the past they 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:35.640 may have, like you know, sent the kids a couple 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:39.440 of dollars or this that of the dog. You're about 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:41.319 to say, you the hold you hold Jehovah. So that's 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:43.640 I mean, not not now, but you were raised that right. 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:55.319 So the first off, first, sorry what I do. I'm sorry, sorry, 0:08:55.440 --> 0:09:02.240 I'm I'm They're called Jehovah's witness. I'm sorry, I shortened everything. 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:06.280 I'm sorry to be called Jehovah and be like me 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:10.480 calling aja Allah. Okay, and y'all not a five percent 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:17.800 of witness. I got it. Jehovah Witnesshovah, Jehovah. That's a 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:22.280 black thing, and it is it is what it is. 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:25.880 But they're Jehovah's witnesses, and um, yeah, I grew up 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.679 as a Jehovah's witness, not because I was baptized as 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:30.960 Tehovah's witness, but because that's the house I lived in. 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.160 And as you know, you know, when you grow up 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:35.880 in the house, that's what you do. You do whatever 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:38.560 your parents are doing. So I grew up my my 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:43.199 mom and my grandmam, and we definitely missed. I feel 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:46.280 like I missed out on a lot of stuff like 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:49.559 holidays and things until I got old enough to catch 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:54.440 the transportation by myself. Once. Once I got old enough 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:57.720 to hop on that fifty four and catch the subway 0:09:58.040 --> 0:09:59.920 and then gone, and I forgot what other bus I 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.680 cold I don't remember now to to get to Mount 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:05.720 Airy where I would go to my aunt's house and 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:08.560 she would have Christmas there. So that meant I got 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:11.560 to eat the good Christmas food. I got to play 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:15.080 oh No all night long and laugh out loud, and 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:18.160 my aunt would always get me something God blessed. There 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:21.240 was never anything that I wanted, but the fact that 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:24.920 she thought of me meant a lot to me. And 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.800 until I got older and was like Hey, listen, I'm 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:30.040 gonna just want you to keep that, like, keep that 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.960 money in your pocket. You don't have to buy me anything, 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:37.559 you know. Um, but the holidays were really, really fun. 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:41.880 I thought from not celebrating them to celebrating I was like, 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:45.520 this is cool. And then I got older and I 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:56.200 was like, wait a minute, wait one minute talking work 0:10:56.240 --> 0:11:12.560 conversation after the break. So Christmas is I don't know 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:17.120 the exact numbers right now, but when I was reading 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:21.359 about it, it was like Christmas was seventy of America's 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:29.120 economy three and that was a long time ago. That 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:30.840 was a long time I don't I don't know, you 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:32.480 know what it was then, but that was enough to 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:35.559 shake my world up and asked myself, like what am 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:40.480 I exactly getting into and why am I doing this? Um, 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:43.880 there's the stories, clearly, you know, we've all heard the 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:50.240 stories about uh Jesus and Christmas. Um how number one, 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:53.920 Jesus wasn't born in December, So who made up December 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:58.200 twenty five as his birthdate? And why do we give 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:03.760 gifts and all of that? Jack and well it wasn't 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:11.280 attempt Okay, So the historical implication of is that, um 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:16.040 it was an attempt. I know she would. I was 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:23.839 setting it up. We know this answer already, so I 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:29.160 don't appreciate y'all set me up as almighty. It wasn't 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:33.480 attempt for the king at the time. I want to say. 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:37.480 It's probably like Constantine or somebody who was trying to 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:41.600 spread Christianity but knew that the cultural and uh, the 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:45.400 cultural beliefs of the people where he was we're not 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:48.959 right in line with Christianity at the time. They were 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:54.080 celebrating winter Solstice and uh something else I want to say, 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:57.880 called christ Mass or something like that. And so what 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.559 he decided to do was allow them to keep elements 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:06.560 of their cultural celebrations and mesh it together with Christian 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:11.440 tradition so that he could ease the people into celebrating 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:16.840 or practicing Christianity. So, um, that's how you get Christmas 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:21.480 in December. That's my understanding of it. Nick comes into 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:24.439 the conversation. That's not how sat Nick comes into the conversation, 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:28.439 but that is how stuff like uh you'le tie greetings 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:33.320 and things like that come into play. And um, the 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:36.320 like I said, the time period and things of that nature. 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:39.920 So yeah, and trees like a Christmas tree. That's when 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:42.880 the that's how the Christmas tree comes into play, and 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:48.720 garland and um mistletoe and things like that. So yeah, 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.400 so that's where you have some Christians who over time 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:56.040 have actually stopped doing those types of traditions because they 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:59.959 understand it it's not necessarily a quote unquote Christian tradition. 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:02.199 Ship it's an American at this point in American, but 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:05.320 now it's very American because you do find people, like 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:07.120 she says, like a part of part of the economy. 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:10.280 So people come here from other places and part of 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:15.320 their um embracing American culture is to celebrate Christmas. The 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:19.720 music is nice, and I have always loved the lights, 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:24.280 my children, my little Muslim children. I've always loved the lights. 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:26.840 I've always loved the lights, and I've I've always enjoyed 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:30.800 the music and the getting together and the smells of 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.520 it all. I always thought that was so nice. Um, 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.280 But when I had my son, I think we had 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:40.960 Christmas maybe twice, and I just felt wrong. I just 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:44.920 I just didn't sit right for me, because you know, 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:47.640 we have all of these things, all of these holidays 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:51.720 that make money. Really, you know, think about it, I wrote, 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:57.560 I wrote cards for Hallmark Father's Day, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day. 0:14:58.040 --> 0:14:59.880 You know there's as the cards by the way, the 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:01.880 you know, I'm just saying every Mother's Day, Father's Day. 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:17.520 I was looking at something so Christmas didn't feel right 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:20.320 one because I didn't grow up celebrating it. I got 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:22.960 a chance to participate in it with my Aunt Shirley. 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:25.720 Shout out to Aunt Shirley, who was so beautiful and 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:31.440 kind and loving to me. Miss you so much, um um. 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.400 So I got a chance to experience that. But when 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:36.240 I had my own child, I was like, do I 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:40.880 really am I really setting him up? You know? Do 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:43.600 I want to do? I want to tell him lies? Right? 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:45.920 I always wonder how I handled this a parent. I'm sorry, 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:49.800 go ahead, you yeah, like you know, it's it's not real, 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:52.480 Like do you want to tell a lie? And and 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:54.520 not for nothing? The thing that you know, I went 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.560 around with my mom when she find decided not to 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:58.720 do it. I started to think too about how I 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.320 would have these amazing chris is this become the New Year. 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:03.680 My mom was trying to figure out how to rob 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.200 Rob Peter to pay Paul, and I was like, that's 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:10.600 not it's not fair. No. So when I was little, 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.400 what my mom used to do is she would wait 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:17.120 until Christmas was over and then we would go shopping 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:20.720 because it was all of the Christmas holiday stuff. And 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.400 I had gone back to school without doing the then 0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:26.560 going shopping part. And I came back to school, I 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:28.400 had on the same clothes I had on the week, 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:31.000 you know, a couple of weeks before that, and all 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:34.720 the kids had new clothes. Just was it messed with me? Like, oh, 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:38.160 you know, I felt jealous and I felt like I 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:41.440 was getting left out of something that I wanted to 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:44.440 So I didn't want to do that to Jet. But 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.560 I also did not want to lie to the kid 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:57.840 about these holidays. So I invented it famists fam us 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:04.280 fam yeah, faminess. You know. I was like, okay, Christmas, 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:07.960 but I was like, faminist family is family is what 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:11.720 are the things that I love about holidays or traditional 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:15.919 holidays in America? Um? Well, you know, you get together 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:19.040 with your family, you you cook with your family, y'all, 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:22.359 listen to music, your dance, you play games. You know 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:25.760 somebody's gonna you know, play spades or something like we're 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.800 going to enjoy each other. And I was like that's 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:31.960 what this that's what people really are, you know, inclined, 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:34.560 that's what they really love to do. It's it's it's 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.119 the family portion. So it's like, okay, I'm going to 0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:41.560 create a holiday that is about family. Family. Is the 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:48.520 only difference between Christmas and Faminists is it is? Well, 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:52.840 it's there's two differences. Instead of putting up uh garland, 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:56.080 and we put up the colors of our of our culture. 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:59.359 So there's a lot of African flags around the house, 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:02.159 and we put up pictures of people we respect and 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:08.320 admire all around the house during the during Faminists. Um, um, 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:14.800 we we have a tree, but our tree is black. 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:21.760 What the hell do you get that from the home goods? Wow? Yeah, 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:26.439 we have a black tree and um we put we 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:28.920 put pretty much anything we want on the thing thing. 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:33.000 Sometimes it's pictures of us, sometimes it's a cante cloth, 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:36.800 or sometimes it's African flags depend you know, all over 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:41.200 the continent. Um. So there's pictures of people we admire 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:44.600 and respect and then there's this black ash tree and 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:50.320 that we do do presents, but you have to earn them. 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:53.520 And how you earn a gift on Faminists is you 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:56.920 have to write a one page essay. It can be longer, 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.440 but it's a one page essay about whatever you want 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.840 to talk about, whatever you want to talk about, and 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:06.800 then we all sit after dinner. We all sit and 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:10.119 listen to one another speak out loud and think out loud. 0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:15.719 So you know, one year, Jets was about raccoons because 0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:19.880 we had raccoons in our you know, trash sometimes, and 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:23.840 what we found out from his essay was that raccoons 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:27.840 have sensories in their hands. You know, they have five 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:30.520 digits like we do, so, but they have sensories. So 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:35.040 when they touch a trash can, they're like, that is jelly? 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:44.159 What else is that? Some onions? And yeah, right, and 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:48.320 then he's he's okay. So the essays have to be handwritten, 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:50.560 or I mean, they don't have to be handwritten, but 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:54.320 it's nice. I prefer them to be handwritten. Once you 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:58.200 read your essay, then you get your gift or gifts 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:01.480 depending because everybody in Abody can give anybody a gift. 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:04.440 But if you don't um, if you don't read your essay, 0:20:04.480 --> 0:20:07.080 you ain't get nothing. And that's just the way it works. 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:09.880 You don't get without giving, and that's just the way 0:20:09.920 --> 0:20:13.359 it is, so we go from listening to our elders 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:17.199 to listening to the children and everybody in between. So 0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:19.560 we get to our family gets to hear us thinking 0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:24.320 about whatever we want to talk about. It could be anything, 0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:29.840 and that is the gist of families. It doesn't have 0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:33.920 any religious implications. So my mother comes, she's a Jehovah's 0:20:33.920 --> 0:20:37.520 witness and she's like, you know, she doesn't celebrate holidays, um, 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:41.240 but this doesn't have any religious implications. So it's more 0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:45.480 of a family gathering. It's family is families. So I 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:51.240 think it works for any culture, whether you're uh Indian, 0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:55.760 whether you're Italian. You know, to have pictures of Italian 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:58.679 people that you're respecting, to admire all around the house, 0:20:59.040 --> 0:21:04.440 to have your true red, white and green um. To 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:06.960 to sit and listen to your family, you know. Think. 0:21:07.280 --> 0:21:10.720 So that's pretty much what familis is, and that's what 0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:14.520 we've been celebrating for the last five years. So last 0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:18.560 thing is because it's the essays are on paper, I 0:21:18.600 --> 0:21:23.119 collect them and um keep them in a little famous box. 0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:26.040 What's not little anymore, but keep him in a famis 0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:29.000 box and it becomes a family treasure. So I can 0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:33.800 look back and say okay. In you know, uh, two 0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:38.320 thousand and and you know twelve, you wrote an art, 0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:41.040 you wrote an essay about why you don't want to 0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:43.960 do homework or why you think homework is unfair. You 0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:46.120 know what I mean? And you get to also see 0:21:46.119 --> 0:21:49.679 your own hand right here, particularly you know, particularly for 0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:52.959 the kids that how long does it take to develop 0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:57.800 a holiday? Jill? Um, I guess overnight if that's what 0:21:57.840 --> 0:22:00.560 you wanna do. I mean you fai is, how how 0:22:00.560 --> 0:22:03.800 long did it take you to figure all those elements out? Well? 0:22:04.119 --> 0:22:06.919 It didn't take long because I've been thinking about it 0:22:06.960 --> 0:22:10.400 for years, Like what is it that that bothers me? 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:13.280 What is it that that doesn't sit well with me? 0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:17.840 That one? This is such a big economic holiday that 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:23.040 bothers me? Um too, it doesn't have any basis in history? 0:22:23.440 --> 0:22:27.639 And why not praise the Lord all year round? Praise 0:22:27.680 --> 0:22:30.639 Lord's praise Lord all year round. Whomever you decided you 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:35.000 call God based on information that you know, or based 0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:37.720 on your family and how they've taught you. Praise the 0:22:37.800 --> 0:22:40.880 Lord all year round. Be grateful for for your creator 0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:44.920 and creation all year round. But at this time, celebrate 0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:49.160 family and celebrate family and ask of them to do something, 0:22:49.280 --> 0:23:05.159 to get something. What I mean, I'm gonna tell you, 0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:08.359 I know that the being with family part, particularly for 0:23:08.400 --> 0:23:11.760 black folks, is the pool for all of these holidays, 0:23:12.200 --> 0:23:14.320 you know, because obviously even the question around whether or 0:23:14.320 --> 0:23:17.399 not black people should even be celebrating Thanksgiving has come 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:19.880 up in my family in the past five years, as 0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:22.879 we talked about that should we even be celebrating this, 0:23:23.040 --> 0:23:25.520 especially since I have friends who are who are Indigenous, 0:23:26.000 --> 0:23:30.160 and they just feel so deeply disrespected by that holiday. 0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:32.840 And so for us, you know, as we all should 0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:35.480 feel deeply disrespected by it. Um. But I think also 0:23:35.520 --> 0:23:38.800 to you know, the idea of being with family for us, 0:23:38.840 --> 0:23:41.640 that's what resonates it says, Okay, well, I just wanna 0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:44.800 I'm not even I'm not keyed into all of it. 0:23:44.880 --> 0:23:46.439 I just want to be able to play bid with 0:23:46.680 --> 0:23:50.400 and eat some good food and you know, and be around, 0:23:50.560 --> 0:23:53.560 you know, my extended family. So I can really appreciate 0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:57.040 being intentional about that, because you know, these are things 0:23:57.080 --> 0:23:59.160 that keep us together, These are the things that keep 0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:02.199 us going, and you know, all over the diaspora, but 0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:04.680 particularly here in America, where it's like what is for us? 0:24:05.000 --> 0:24:08.159 But I love the fact that in some states and 0:24:08.200 --> 0:24:12.919 here in Pennsylvania, Juneteenth is now considered a holiday, an 0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:15.760 official holiday here in the state of Pennsylvania. And for 0:24:15.880 --> 0:24:18.520 Tina and I rode in the Juneteenth Parade last year, 0:24:19.440 --> 0:24:22.280 and um, we were the Grand Marshall's dolling yes and 0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:26.960 c ys and it. And it got me to thinking, 0:24:26.960 --> 0:24:28.879 I known about Juneteenth a long time, but I had 0:24:28.920 --> 0:24:34.159 never really been really intentional about celebrating it. Um and 0:24:34.520 --> 0:24:39.200 uh and again, Um, Black History Month in my household 0:24:40.000 --> 0:24:43.520 is a very big deal. And I am the only 0:24:43.520 --> 0:24:48.560 person I know who decorates for Black History. More so, 0:24:48.640 --> 0:24:50.960 I actually decorate for Black History Month. So when you 0:24:51.000 --> 0:24:53.200 were saying the thing about putting up the pictures and stuff, 0:24:53.240 --> 0:24:55.280 I was like, oh girl, this is me a Black 0:24:55.320 --> 0:24:58.239 History mouth, Like this is how I am. Man. I 0:24:58.280 --> 0:25:01.119 love the fact that, um, you kind of kind of 0:25:01.160 --> 0:25:03.600 came with your own family traditions. I think that's super 0:25:03.640 --> 0:25:07.040 important that even though there's some things cross culturally that 0:25:07.119 --> 0:25:10.199 we that we should continue to honor, one of the 0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:12.520 real things that I feel like it's important to honor 0:25:12.680 --> 0:25:15.360 is those things that become important to your individual family 0:25:15.920 --> 0:25:18.800 and that um, those are the things you get to 0:25:18.800 --> 0:25:21.600 pass on from generation to generation, you know, which is 0:25:21.600 --> 0:25:24.040 why stuff like family reunions are such a big deal 0:25:24.080 --> 0:25:27.320 in our community and um, you know things like that. 0:25:38.440 --> 0:25:40.760 Here's one thing I know I made up that my 0:25:40.840 --> 0:25:44.600 kids and I did UM on Juneteenth, I want to say, 0:25:44.600 --> 0:25:48.399 two years ago, was I decided that I bought a 0:25:48.600 --> 0:25:53.960 very large piece of um, handmade and hand printed UM 0:25:54.119 --> 0:25:58.640