Speaker 1: Of the Law and Order franchises, SVU is considered especially watchable.
Speaker 2: We are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the
Speaker 2: vicious felonies. These episodes are based on.
Speaker 3: These are our stories done.
Speaker 1: Done, Yay, that's messed up.
Speaker 3: An SVU podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm Liza Traeger and I'm Kara Klank And every week
Speaker 1: on this show, we recap a classic episode of Law
Speaker 1: and Order SVU as well as the crime that it
Speaker 1: was based on, and then we talk usually to somebody
Speaker 1: amazing from the episode.
Speaker 3: And today is no exception. We have been.
Speaker 2: We were holding out, we were holding out. We did it,
Speaker 2: and it's cool. We're on the same time zone. That
Speaker 2: never happens. How do you feel recording later in the
Speaker 2: after verse earlier in the morning.
Speaker 3: I mean, I kind of like it.
Speaker 1: I can see why you loved when you moved like it,
Speaker 1: Like the time is better.
Speaker 3: It's just better. But I am going to be recording today.
Speaker 1: My kids will come home and my parents will be
Speaker 1: attempting to keep them quiet, so we'll see what happens
Speaker 1: with that, you know, so I will say the morning
Speaker 1: records for me when they're fully in school. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've been on the West East Coast for like a month,
Speaker 1: and I have just got my kids into camp this
Speaker 1: week and it's changed my life. I mean, I cannot
Speaker 1: No one is meant to be with their kids every
Speaker 1: single day for a month. It's just not it's not
Speaker 1: a natural it's not Our summer has seemed so great, Yes,
Speaker 1: and you want kids to be obsessed with New York
Speaker 1: and they're just little like they just are kind of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what it's whatever. I'm like, isn't this the most amazing
Speaker 1: city in the world. And they're like, are we going
Speaker 1: to the eminem store? You know, like they just don't
Speaker 1: like it's I think I was expecting a little bit
Speaker 1: too much from them. But they have been having a
Speaker 1: great time. I took them tol Luwie's house. I took
Speaker 1: them to Staten Island Ferry, like they've got they've We
Speaker 1: did the Natural History Museum and like the butterfly exhibit,
Speaker 1: which they both love butterflies.
Speaker 3: So we've been we've been having a blast.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell a little anecdote from my summer vacation
Speaker 1: because this is relevant to the listeners. So I go
Speaker 1: to a wedding, I go back to La for a wedding,
Speaker 1: the one wedding I have all year, and it's on
Speaker 1: the West Coast while I'm in in New York. So
Speaker 1: I go out to LA for this wedding, and I
Speaker 1: forgot that it's the wedding of my friend who helped
Speaker 1: us get Marcia gay Harden as a guest on our podcast.
Speaker 1: And I didn't even I didn't even remember that she
Speaker 1: would be at the wedding. So I'm sitting in a
Speaker 1: row with her, like three people away from her. And
Speaker 1: so when we all get up to like leave after
Speaker 1: the wedding, which was amazing, it was such a great wedding.
Speaker 1: As we're leaving to like go up to our you know,
Speaker 1: the cocktail hour, Marcia comes out of her seat and
Speaker 1: I go, Hi, Marsha, it's so nice to meet you
Speaker 1: in person, Like I interviewed you with my co host
Speaker 1: Lisa on That's Messed Up. It's our podcast about loner Respuu.
Speaker 1: And she goes like she squinted and was searching the
Speaker 1: recesses of her mind, and it's like, I get it.
Speaker 1: You're a busy woman. I'm sure you've done a bunch
Speaker 1: of podcasts. But it's like we specific we are a
Speaker 1: very specific podcast, Like I didn't think she would completely
Speaker 1: forget about it, but she goes, will you forgive me?
Speaker 3: My brain is mush? And I go, you know what's same?
Speaker 1: And then we proceeded to just hang out NonStop for
Speaker 1: a full hour, like she just stayed with me, Like
Speaker 1: I was alone at the wedding. I didn't have cock friends.
Speaker 1: You guys have cocktails. We had cocktails.
Speaker 3: She gave me.
Speaker 1: Okay, So there were three little signature drinks and I
Speaker 1: think first she started with the margarita and I was
Speaker 1: drinking this other one that was like delicious, like a
Speaker 1: rose spritzer, and I think she had that second because
Speaker 1: the first one she said was too sweet. But she
Speaker 1: got a little mini cup of mac and cheese and
Speaker 1: I go, oh.
Speaker 3: That looks good. She goes, you want to buite?
Speaker 1: She gimme? She goes, if you don't mind my fork,
Speaker 1: I'm sharing apps with MGH. We're sharing apps. Have you
Speaker 1: ever shared a fork with an oscar winner before?
Speaker 3: It was my first time.
Speaker 4: I can't.
Speaker 1: It was my first time, and like it was just
Speaker 1: like really natural conversation. We were talking about her kids.
Speaker 1: We were talking about like my kids. I was telling
Speaker 1: her all like we were just talking about random stuff.
Speaker 1: Like we didn't even get back. I mean, I wasn't like, oh,
Speaker 1: I have some follow up questions about as for you,
Speaker 1: Like we were just chatting.
Speaker 3: So then this is so funny.
Speaker 1: Like so then we're outside the cocktail hours outside, I'm hot,
Speaker 1: I'm sweating, okay, and I'm wearing my Honey Love shapewear.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Honey Love for sponsoring the podcast. This is
Speaker 1: an unpaid mention. But We're outside in La and it
Speaker 1: is hot, right and I'm like sweating, and she goes,
Speaker 1: we how old are you? And I tell her how
Speaker 1: old I am. She goes, maybe it's perimenopause. I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I don't have any other symptoms. And she goes, Honey,
Speaker 1: you're melting right now. I go, Marcia, I'm outside in
Speaker 1: July in La, and I'm wearing shapewear.
Speaker 3: And we were just like laughing.
Speaker 1: And then we took a picture together at my request,
Speaker 1: of course, and she goes, send me those pictures, gets
Speaker 1: my We get, we exchange phone numbers.
Speaker 3: She faces dropped my jaws on the floor.
Speaker 1: She texts me and goes, thanks Kara or whatever, and
Speaker 1: then the next morning texts me a salad recipe. We
Speaker 1: had not been talking about salad. She just texts me
Speaker 1: and I love Halluomi. It's like a Halloomi salad. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I love this, sends me a Hallumi salad recipe and goes,
Speaker 1: this is one of my favorites. And she says, it
Speaker 1: was so great hanging out with you last night. And
Speaker 1: I said, I had such a good time with you,
Speaker 1: and I'm totally gonna make this salad. But now I've
Speaker 1: got her in my phone, and if we do another
Speaker 1: Dana Lewis episode and I have any questions, I'll just
Speaker 1: text her up. I mean, it's one of those things
Speaker 1: I'll probably never see her again in my life. But
Speaker 1: we had a glorious she texted you means that there
Speaker 1: was like, you know, she wasn't scared. You weren't giving
Speaker 1: an energy of fear, Like she wasn't scared to reveal
Speaker 1: her number to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we we We had had a nice time. I
Speaker 1: mean I was there alone. I had friends there obviously,
Speaker 1: but I didn't have my like husband, and she wasn't
Speaker 1: there with her husband. So I think we were just
Speaker 1: kind of like at the cocktail and we were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just a couple of single gals going to get
Speaker 1: a cocktail, you know. But I was just expecting after
Speaker 1: she said she didn remember the podcast, for her to
Speaker 1: be like but nice meeting you and like, but she
Speaker 1: just started engaging me in conversation.
Speaker 3: We just like walked and then after that we were
Speaker 3: like where should we go?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: Should we go outside? And we just like what outside?
Speaker 1: And like people were going up to her and asking
Speaker 1: for photos and stuff, and she was being so generous
Speaker 1: and sweet.
Speaker 3: But then she was coming.
Speaker 1: Back to talk to me and I was like, you're
Speaker 1: my new best friend. I don't know what's saying.
Speaker 3: Wow, this is huge. I also remember that she was
Speaker 3: a big Katya fan.
Speaker 1: When we talked to her, yes, and we talked about
Speaker 1: came we didn't talk about.
Speaker 3: We talked about like lgbt.
Speaker 1: Q issues and stuff like that, and like how you
Speaker 1: know it's like affecting her family and the current administration
Speaker 1: and shit like that. We talked about that a little bit,
Speaker 1: but like we I forgot about how much she loves Katya.
Speaker 1: We didn't get into that the drag of it all.
Speaker 1: But I'm embarrassed to say I have not watched a
Speaker 1: second of All Stars and now I know who wins that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I, well, you know the whole time watching it,
Speaker 1: well you don't know until you meet the third crew
Speaker 1: or whatever.
Speaker 3: But it's like you see what they're doing.
Speaker 2: You see the order of challenge, like the lip they
Speaker 2: cut lip syncs, they re edited stuff to like it's
Speaker 2: I don't understand why they were so gung ho with
Speaker 2: the s winner. And if you are, that's okay, but
Speaker 2: then don't end on lip sync Lala perusa, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean.
Speaker 3: Like, so it was just watching someone lose.
Speaker 2: Three lip syncs in a row to people better than them,
Speaker 2: but like win them anyway when they win. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: it's not like Ginger is not an amazing performer.
Speaker 3: It's not like she didn't.
Speaker 1: She nailed every single challenge that was there wasn't a
Speaker 1: design challenge, you know, they did snatch game with her
Speaker 1: and an improv challenge, Like it just was a little
Speaker 1: too much and I miss so I put on All
Speaker 1: Stars too actually to get the energy.
Speaker 5: And energy of it.
Speaker 2: And Naomi Smalls and Bob, I mean, Naomi was reading
Speaker 2: to Phil she called Ginger pathetic, like because of the
Speaker 2: lip sync, because she does this thing where she can't
Speaker 2: lip sync. So she looks at the other girl doing
Speaker 2: something and makes the face of like, well I can't
Speaker 2: do that, and it's like and Naomi called it pathetic
Speaker 2: on sibling Revelry.
Speaker 3: Rivalry Rivalry Revelry's the Kate Hudson one. Well, that's what
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, that's the new Kate Hudson one.
Speaker 1: How many people do you think go to Apple Podcasts
Speaker 1: and put in sibling Rivalry thinking it's Kate Hudson and
Speaker 1: then they're like, who are these two queens just screaming
Speaker 1: at each other, like, you know, like just tearing each
Speaker 1: other apart. But anyway, that's my little story from not
Speaker 1: a little story, the biggest little story from the Christmas,
Speaker 1: from the Christmas, from the summer break.
Speaker 3: So what's what's been going on with you?
Speaker 2: Well, if you follow me on Instagram, you would know
Speaker 2: my labubu got stolen. I saw, I can't, I can't
Speaker 2: how off of what?
Speaker 3: So this is the thing.
Speaker 1: So you know Jared Goldstein a friend and a colleague
Speaker 1: of ours. He a friend and coworker.
Speaker 3: He loves purses.
Speaker 2: He's his brain is broken and he's gotten into purses,
Speaker 2: refurbishing purses, high end purses, fake purses.
Speaker 1: No. He was at my show like a month ago,
Speaker 1: right before I left LA, and was like showing me
Speaker 1: a person was like, isn't this amazing?
Speaker 3: I was like you, this is your passion. It's all yeah.
Speaker 3: So we decided to do.
Speaker 1: A purse's themed show at Sunday at five am. So
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: Ever, so there's a lot of purse themes stuff.
Speaker 1: So I bring out my turtle backpack and I clip
Speaker 1: a laboo boo on each end of the backpack to
Speaker 1: go on stage. He has a bag, he puts his
Speaker 1: his labubo, has a Gucci outfit o fake, but puts
Speaker 1: it on his belt loop. Like I had my clear
Speaker 1: tail far filled with tote backs thanks for everyone who
Speaker 1: came to and it was like, guess how many tote
Speaker 1: bags are in here?
Speaker 3: And we had her eyes as.
Speaker 2: A bad purses and like I got gifted a purse
Speaker 2: and we were like, is this ugly or not?
Speaker 3: Does anyone want it?
Speaker 2: It's ugly? No one wanted it, but whatever. So I
Speaker 2: had lots of bags and I was drinking. It's still early,
Speaker 2: it's hot in the summer city. I'm walking with some
Speaker 2: friends to go to get dinner. In the Lower East Side,
Speaker 2: So like, I don't know when it happened, Like it
Speaker 2: could have been sitting at the venue bar. It could
Speaker 2: have been on my walk waiting across the street. It
Speaker 2: could have been unclipped it. Yeah, because we had to
Speaker 2: wait for a table at this restaurant for like a
Speaker 2: half hour, so we were just outside. I think my
Speaker 2: friend I waited in line at a bathroom, like I
Speaker 2: don't know, and we didn't notice till the end of
Speaker 2: dinner when I took my turtle backpack up to pay
Speaker 2: and the key rate.
Speaker 3: It's like I CHERYLA.
Speaker 1: Boomers when Rosie got hers, I said, I wouldn't bring
Speaker 1: this to school if I were you.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know that she really like comprehends like theft
Speaker 1: really yet, like she's never had anything stolen from her,
Speaker 1: but like you know, I was like, people really want these, Rosie,
Speaker 1: and they're her to find and I'm worried that someone
Speaker 1: could take it.
Speaker 3: She's like, no, I'll be really careful with it, and
Speaker 3: she hasn't had it stolen yet.
Speaker 1: But I also bought it for her, like on the
Speaker 1: second to last day of school, so there hasn't been
Speaker 1: the many opportunities. I would hope no one would steal
Speaker 1: it from a child. Oh no, other children I think
Speaker 1: would steal it. Yeah yeah in school. But out and
Speaker 1: about I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I am looking at the box that it came in,
Speaker 2: and then it was a give. But oh yeah, I
Speaker 2: have a retraction to make. I was thinking about I
Speaker 2: was being really a negative and nancy about the New
Speaker 2: York Times movie list, and I liked the movie Gravity.
Speaker 3: I don't know why I was so shocked.
Speaker 1: It was on the list. Wow, I was, And you
Speaker 1: had an apology retraction to make, and this is not where.
Speaker 1: I didn't know where this was going at all, But
Speaker 1: I didn't know it was going to space. I just
Speaker 1: felt like I was being like such a hater on fine.
Speaker 2: Movies, like put them in the list, like I don't care,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was so gung ho and angry
Speaker 2: about it. I did watch Myrary Report, though i'd never
Speaker 2: seen it. It's Spielberg, Tom Cruise, pre Crime. I don't know,
Speaker 2: and I don't. It doesn't hold up for me, so
Speaker 2: I guess I'm still a hater. But I did give
Speaker 2: one of the movies I hadn't seen a shot and
Speaker 2: that's great, Well, I love it.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: Also, so I'm shooting a short, No big deal. But
Speaker 2: I thought I was the completely different character. And I've
Speaker 2: been learning lines for another character. Oh no, and it's
Speaker 2: more and reading the script being like, Wow, this other
Speaker 2: character's so funny. Wow, I can't wait to meet this
Speaker 2: other character. God, these lines are so fun. Oh she
Speaker 2: gets to do that, and then, thank god, this week
Speaker 2: I realized that I'm that character, not.
Speaker 3: The emotion that.
Speaker 1: You could tell the serious reserved girl actress, be like,
Speaker 1: if you need any help with your lines, I also
Speaker 1: memorize your part.
Speaker 3: But I couldn't believe I was studying for the wrong one.
Speaker 2: But you know, well, my manager gave me a little
Speaker 2: talking to and she said, maybe this is a sign
Speaker 2: to read your emails. Oh okay, she goes, because it's
Speaker 2: clearly stated in the emails what character it is, and
Speaker 2: I go for sure it was a misunderstanding.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Also, I'm sorry to go to Australia obviously visa issues.
Speaker 2: If you listened to this podcast, you heard before the
Speaker 2: cancelation happened. But basically, yeah, I mean, I hope the
Speaker 2: FBI doesn't support me. I am a naturalized citizen. I'm
Speaker 2: on the edge of my seat, but oh, I'm working
Speaker 2: on getting back, so stay tuned to this any announcements.
Speaker 3: If you had tickets, we'll probably reach out to you.
Speaker 1: But and just to reiterate, you've been to Australia multiple
Speaker 1: times before. My husband went to Australia with barely a
Speaker 1: piece of paper that said let him into Australia and
Speaker 1: it was no problem. Oh, I have to write an
Speaker 1: apology letter for the other times I went in and
Speaker 1: why like this time, like they're like, you shady bitch,
Speaker 1: we want an apology.
Speaker 3: So I had to write like a full declaration.
Speaker 2: Up about everything and how I've become a better person
Speaker 2: since my former brushes with the law.
Speaker 3: What in the fucking world?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I've had to be like, I'm
Speaker 1: a dedicated sister and aunt, I have a podcast about
Speaker 1: the law.
Speaker 3: Let's get some AI images of you at a soup
Speaker 3: kitchen we can use for them. I've been volunteering.
Speaker 4: Oh you have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've gone back and I'm signed up for next week.
Speaker 1: So I really that's awesome.
Speaker 3: I really like it.
Speaker 2: Well, and I have to be more front facing. I
Speaker 2: let the guys serve and I was scooping the food,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, sir, if you don't smile at these people,
Speaker 2: you can't be in the front, Like, yeah, you gotta,
Speaker 2: but they're.
Speaker 1: Gonna be like they're gonna be like Lisa, you can't
Speaker 1: chat to everybody. You gotta move the line along. It's
Speaker 1: not even about chatting to me. It's just going my pleasure.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Are you guys ready for some food?
Speaker 1: It's like, give these people in experience a little bit
Speaker 1: of like a hospitality.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you for the word hospitality.
Speaker 2: You know, scooping is good too, But I'm really scared
Speaker 2: of the like you know, it's hot water and then
Speaker 2: the trays on top of the hot water.
Speaker 3: I'm really scared of that hot water. And I don't
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: It's scary. Yeah, I got youa that makes sense. And
Speaker 1: the place when they're fresh from the dishwasher are really
Speaker 1: hot too. I'm just not meant for behind the scenes. Like,
Speaker 1: I'm just not. It's just too hot and scary for me.
Speaker 1: I'm not meant from behind the scenes. It's so funny.
Speaker 3: Wait really quick before I forget though.
Speaker 1: This episode's coming out on August fifth, which means you
Speaker 1: still have like a week or so it will sell out,
Speaker 1: So like it don't be like, don't wait till the
Speaker 1: last day.
Speaker 3: It will sell out.
Speaker 1: It is what it is. Yeah, yeah, it's it's a
Speaker 1: great venue. It's not like a two drink minimum situation.
Speaker 1: So it's like less expensive than some of the shows
Speaker 1: you've done in the past. If that's anybody, I know
Speaker 1: that's everybody's worry right now. Is like money's tight all around.
Speaker 1: But come see us. It's a new episode. It's uh
Speaker 1: that you haven't seen in New York and uh games
Speaker 1: and fun. It's like fun stuff, so we're gonna have
Speaker 1: a great time. It's at the Bell House on August fourteenth.
Speaker 1: Go to That's messed Up live dot com. There's a
Speaker 1: ticket link there. Tell them if you're broke, d m us.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe if your story is good enough, we'll give
Speaker 2: you a comp I mean, Karen Kara has friends.
Speaker 1: I'm not letting anyone come in. I'm making my friends pay.
Speaker 1: Come on, I'm making my friends pay. Enough.
Speaker 3: Enough is enough? Am I seeing Colin? Maybe?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he.
Speaker 1: I think they're coming. I think Colin and Joe are coming.
Speaker 1: Yeah I need some Yeah, you guys, brother, come on.
Speaker 1: I'm offering a lot here. Get into the city, come
Speaker 1: see this. Some people have said, we're considering I'm considering
Speaker 1: flying in. I think worth it. Make it, do a
Speaker 1: little trip to New York.
Speaker 3: It'll be fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not like you'll go into the middle of
Speaker 1: nowhere like you can make a round. We're not making
Speaker 1: them right. The Dakota's no offense. We love the Dakotas.
Speaker 1: We here on this podcast. We love the Dakotas, always have. Oh.
Speaker 2: I and so, because I wasn't in Australia, I do
Speaker 2: want to say hi to everyone that came to Chicago.
Speaker 3: Cara.
Speaker 2: A lot of people said hello, they want more of us.
Speaker 2: But I loved seeing everyone and Chicago. One of the
Speaker 2: greatest things happened to me. I saw geese crossing the
Speaker 2: street and like traffic waiting, and I just I liked it.
Speaker 3: I could. I have never seen that before.
Speaker 1: So I was really, Hey, that's like I have a
Speaker 1: picture of you sitting on a goose.
Speaker 3: Oh it's a duck.
Speaker 1: I have a picture of you in Boston on like
Speaker 1: a duck with its little ducklings behind it, and it's
Speaker 1: very very like in the same vein and I have
Speaker 1: a silly goose tattoo. So I did, like, well, it's
Speaker 1: so funny. So I did some WG.
Speaker 3: I did the Morning News. They're so nice to me
Speaker 3: at WGN.
Speaker 2: But one of the other people that were going on
Speaker 2: the news was the vice president of like the Botanic
Speaker 2: Gardens and my the Chicago Botanic Gardens because of my
Speaker 2: childhood and being dragged there. No child wants to be
Speaker 2: dragged there. And I'm looking at this woman and I go, well,
Speaker 2: you know, the geese, and she goes, We've actually dealt
Speaker 2: with the geese problem. And when I started in nineteen
Speaker 2: ninety four, I know exactly what you're talking about, and
Speaker 2: so I'm not making it up.
Speaker 3: There was a geese problem. So they're not there, but
Speaker 3: they did.
Speaker 1: They did move to the city like the Chicago like
Speaker 1: around Zanies, like the geese star everywhere, and we have
Speaker 1: addressed your concerns visa via the geese. I love that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just nice to be like not solidified, but like
Speaker 1: you know, like validating, validated.
Speaker 3: Yeah that it's not like some like weird thing I
Speaker 3: made up, like the geese were.
Speaker 1: Violent, have like a one bad Geese day, and you
Speaker 1: were attracting the geese in a weird way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is everybody I got it speaking of, and
Speaker 3: I know we have to start.
Speaker 2: I also am like, we haven't talked in a month,
Speaker 2: and I feel like we barely even scraped of, like
Speaker 2: all this stuff that's been going on. But I before
Speaker 2: we start, I'll do an either or an either or casey,
Speaker 2: I'd like you to play as well. Okay, you walk
Speaker 2: into your home, would you rather see one thousand roaches
Speaker 2: or one person? One person? Okay, one person. I don't
Speaker 2: think you could ever kill the roaches, and I don't
Speaker 2: think you could. I don't think you could kill all
Speaker 2: of them. They would scatter and they would start re populating.
Speaker 2: It would be forever and you would never forget it.
Speaker 2: The person this is like bear, This is like bear man.
Speaker 2: But you just said person. So it could be a
Speaker 2: woman or a child.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, but you don't know them, but I
Speaker 1: don't know them, and I don't know why they're in
Speaker 1: my house, But I would rather see them.
Speaker 5: I would definitely say roaches, because God, that is horrifying
Speaker 5: and would disturb me to no end. But the idea,
Speaker 5: the true terror of seeing someone that you don't recognize
Speaker 5: inside of your home. That just that seems so horrible
Speaker 5: and I would never I would choose the roaches.
Speaker 1: I know, but my mind is going to like a
Speaker 1: million places of like oops, I walked into the wrong house,
Speaker 1: or like I don't know, like does the person have
Speaker 1: malevolent intentions or that's not part.
Speaker 3: Of the game.
Speaker 2: No, it doesn't even matter. I basically this is from
Speaker 2: the internet. Everything is from the internet. I have no
Speaker 2: original ideas anymore. But there is a video and it's
Speaker 2: not even new, but it was resurfacing again in my
Speaker 2: feed of like a guy's food kept disappearing, and so
Speaker 2: he put a hidden camera and then above his fridge
Speaker 2: was a little drawer crawl space thing and he caught
Speaker 2: a woman coming out of it and eating his food
Speaker 2: and going back in and and him being like, get
Speaker 2: out of here. So it's like, yeah, I guess it's
Speaker 2: not but she's not violent. But the thought of someone
Speaker 2: in your home coming into your.
Speaker 5: Pockets, yeah, well, I do feel like I would prefer
Speaker 5: to have like a parasite situation where someone lives in
Speaker 5: like a crawl space in my basement, eat and eating
Speaker 5: my food.
Speaker 1: Versus a thousand cockroaches that you'll never get back you'll
Speaker 1: never get the sound of them skittering.
Speaker 2: Because Matt Bronger has a story like this where him
Speaker 2: and his friend he used to do this bit. Truly,
Speaker 2: this joke I heard thirteen years ago and it still
Speaker 2: haunts me because he like grabbed this giant frying pan
Speaker 2: he was gonna hit and he saw a woman sitting
Speaker 2: on like the stairs of his friend's house or something,
Speaker 2: and she walked out, and he's just glad he didn't
Speaker 2: murder her with a skillet. Is like the point of
Speaker 2: the story where it's like it was scary, but he's glad,
Speaker 2: like he didn't bang her head.
Speaker 3: I don't know. Wow, you guys have separate answers, So
Speaker 3: that's like why this game is so fun.
Speaker 1: Wow. Uh okay, let's get started. This episode is good.
Speaker 2: I hope we gave you the juice because we you know,
Speaker 2: we were in the time machine for so long, so
Speaker 2: I'm sure we're like missing out on so many events.
Speaker 2: Like if there's stuff we didn't cover that you were like, wait, bitches,
Speaker 2: we want to hear about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, please let us know, because my bad.
Speaker 2: Oh, I know what the fucking Idaho murder that the
Speaker 2: sister of the victim that impact statement was incredible, So kudos, stuff.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about it. Do you want to
Speaker 1: talk about it next week? We can talk about it
Speaker 1: next week. Yeah, it's going to be like it's a tease.
Speaker 1: It's a tease. It's a tease.
Speaker 3: We're starting the app.
Speaker 2: The day has come, Ah, done on them. We're doing
Speaker 2: the episode wet. And if you've seen some of our
Speaker 2: live shows in some cities, we have done wet.
Speaker 3: We have done it live many times, just hoping for
Speaker 3: the moment.
Speaker 2: And today is a real Barton Burner Season twelve, episode five.
Speaker 3: Yes, we love wet.
Speaker 1: We have done it, actually not that many times. It
Speaker 1: seems we've done it only like four at four live shows.
Speaker 1: We've done it in Seattle, Tampa, Denver, and Atlanta. So
Speaker 1: if you were at one of those shows, you saw
Speaker 1: us do this. But you know, it's different every time
Speaker 1: we talk about it, So it's going to be different.
Speaker 1: And yeah, this is a hot one. This is a
Speaker 1: classic episode, like this is maybe in my top ten
Speaker 1: for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of amazing moments. It aired October thirteenth,
Speaker 2: twenty ten. Spooky Season Spooky. I guess I'll start. It's
Speaker 2: like it's like it feels weird to just start it.
Speaker 2: There's so much anticipation in my heart and spirit for
Speaker 2: everyone enjoy it. And it was also like so much
Speaker 2: easier recapping because I have written it and talked about
Speaker 2: it at length, and we would watch it before every
Speaker 2: live show at least once or twice, so I was
Speaker 2: really like running smoothing.
Speaker 3: What's the word? Yeah, all show.
Speaker 1: We also did do a video scene from this episode
Speaker 1: together you and I and a little acting, a little
Speaker 1: acting sketch tweeted for our TikTok and Instagram that a
Speaker 1: lot of you guys really enjoyed.
Speaker 3: So all right, enough enough.
Speaker 2: You know, getting new, getting new, pump. I don't know
Speaker 2: what's the word. I'm teasing you too much. I'll start so,
Speaker 2: drugged up couple is running through the arches, and I
Speaker 2: wrote through, not the arches, just some arches. What do
Speaker 2: you think of when you think of arches? Your go
Speaker 2: to arch? I go to arch because I'm sorry, but
Speaker 2: McDonald's was my second. Yeah, when you say arches, I
Speaker 2: think McDonald's first.
Speaker 1: Thing. Wow, when you're talking about like actual I mean
Speaker 1: the Saint Louis the Arch, I guess this is called
Speaker 1: Bethesda Terraces it's in Central park Way.
Speaker 3: To look that where they are? I have it in
Speaker 3: my old notes from when we did it live.
Speaker 1: Wow, because I was like, where are they I've seen
Speaker 1: this area of New York of the city.
Speaker 2: It's like it's part of Central Park Wow. So the girl,
Speaker 2: she's quirky, she wants to dance. They're dancing, but then
Speaker 2: she starts laughing at his dance, which is a man's
Speaker 2: number one fear. So he gets mad immediately and but yeah,
Speaker 2: we're like, he's about to murder her, but it's too
Speaker 2: it's too early. So she does baby talk at him
Speaker 2: and he's like, you little bitch, like I wild. Yeah,
Speaker 2: men just want a girl with a sense of humor JK,
Speaker 2: or they'll fucking hit you. So and the baby talk
Speaker 2: sounds like the Sex and the City guy that talks
Speaker 2: to Samantha and baby talk.
Speaker 1: It's like disgusting. I don't know why anyone would do
Speaker 1: it as a grownup. It really sickens me. Yeah, this girl,
Speaker 1: the girl in this scene is the girl who plays Supergirl.
Speaker 1: Like she's also in Glee. I know her from Glee,
Speaker 1: but she was Supergirl in like this CW Supergirl show forever.
Speaker 1: So some people might know her from that. I don't
Speaker 1: know the guy at all. He's not worth me looking
Speaker 1: up because he's being an asshole.
Speaker 3: So whatever.
Speaker 2: So he's like, stop it, stop it, but she takes
Speaker 2: off her dress and starts running in her bra and panties,
Speaker 2: so he's not really mad an ymy, he's pumped. The
Speaker 2: mood is not ruined, but then it is ruined because
Speaker 2: there's a dead woman in the fountain. It's dirty, this
Speaker 2: is sad. Her eyes are fully open and then she's
Speaker 2: out of the water, like cuts to her at like
Speaker 2: with everyone on the scene, and it is the most
Speaker 2: close up close up I've ever seen of red eyes.
Speaker 2: It's just scary. It's scary. It's her zoom in her
Speaker 2: like full on face blue late text. Glove is pointing
Speaker 2: to the red eyes and it's petikia, which means she
Speaker 2: drowned and it's not our usual emmy, and this bitch
Speaker 2: is like victim blaming.
Speaker 1: She goes, how is she even dead? Seems too shallow
Speaker 1: and it's like aren't you a science cop?
Speaker 3: Like how do you know? How do you not know
Speaker 3: the answer?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then Benson is in her like blonde like
Speaker 2: honey Highlight era starts asking questions, and this woman goes, yeah,
Speaker 2: I got some blood and semen in her Hucci who okay,
Speaker 2: forensics guy from Dexter, Like they need to be set
Speaker 2: up on a date. I swear they could like disrespect
Speaker 2: victims from coast to.
Speaker 1: Coast ak like we also just didn't we just get
Speaker 1: rid of fucking stucky, Like yeah, yeah, we just covered
Speaker 1: of Sucky two seasons ago. And now you're like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, we need another like CSU Tech who kind
Speaker 1: of disrespects it like the entire like practice in the
Speaker 1: entire industry. Can we get somebody in there like that
Speaker 1: Hoochi who It's like not what we like. We love Warner.
Speaker 2: And and Judas Ciper like you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Like yeah, the smart intelligence.
Speaker 1: I don't even take a Rednick. I didn't even take
Speaker 1: a rednick JK.
Speaker 2: But Benson doesn't say a word, but her face says everything,
Speaker 2: and the woman says, oh sorry, and then goes, sometimes
Speaker 2: I forget that they're people. I mean, it's good for
Speaker 2: the dead, but maybe like full more it is the
Speaker 2: more like maybe funeral, Like.
Speaker 3: I don't know, Oh, I we gotta have respect, Okay.
Speaker 2: So she turns to Maloney who just walked on over,
Speaker 2: and she's like, hey, you get anything from Skinny or dipper?
Speaker 2: An stable responds, well, he's obsessed with her and she
Speaker 2: never wants to see him again. So then the science
Speaker 2: woman is still like joking around and I'm like, are
Speaker 2: you not like a little bit haunted by this wet,
Speaker 2: dead woman with red eyes that are fully peering at you?
Speaker 2: But okay, So then she says, guys, this is not
Speaker 2: a fashion statement. And it's in a very intense zoom
Speaker 2: with loud music. Seems like a parody drag race, sketch,
Speaker 2: noise and effect like it is not.
Speaker 3: Sview at all.
Speaker 2: It's like do like so zoomed in and it's just
Speaker 2: like a little bit of this woman's hair is cut
Speaker 2: from underneath long hair, so just like a honk of
Speaker 2: hair is gone. I guess it could be someone'smo everyone's upset.
Speaker 2: We're in the credits. So now we're at the precinct
Speaker 2: and uh, you know it's a new precinct, it's a
Speaker 2: new office they've moved to there. It's Chelsea Piers, it's
Speaker 2: no longer Jersey Z And they blame a flood or something.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what kind of flood, aren't you guys on
Speaker 2: the fourth floor? But it was like elevators. But but
Speaker 2: Finn comes in. There's a matching m Central Park barber.
Speaker 2: This creep loves snipping a chunk out of a woman's hair,
Speaker 2: and they call him Sassoon for Vidal Sassoon, and then
Speaker 2: Benson this seems like something that I would be like, Sassoon,
Speaker 2: whatever that means, and then Benson would be like, oh,
Speaker 2: he revolutionized.
Speaker 1: Them soon yeah, and then let's not forget Eden Sassoon,
Speaker 1: who did not revolutionize the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. No,
Speaker 1: and so, and Ben's so. Then Benson goes, you know,
Speaker 1: I can I can use a trim an insane. This
Speaker 1: is an insane part of this episode, which is a
Speaker 1: lot saying how where this goes? But they Okay, So
Speaker 1: they're gonna bait this man in the biggest park that
Speaker 1: I've ever been man for maybe the possibility he's out
Speaker 1: that day and is gonna be on the bench and
Speaker 1: spot her to cut her hair. It's insane. In Central Park,
Speaker 1: which is massive. If you've never been to New York,
Speaker 1: it's humongous.
Speaker 2: It's tens, tens and tens of blocks, so she's on
Speaker 2: a bench and she's hoaring out her hair.
Speaker 3: She's flipping it around. It's shimming commercial shit. Yeah's shaking
Speaker 3: it all out.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then there you know, she's on a fake phone call.
Speaker 2: She goes, my hair is so good. My hair feels shiny.
Speaker 2: I feel like a million bucks. And then a man
Speaker 2: is close to her and too close, like if a
Speaker 2: stranger sat even that close to me on a bench
Speaker 2: without trying to cut my hair and be like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck are you doing. He has a white guy afro,
Speaker 2: like a Bob Ross situation, but not as robust, and
Speaker 2: then he takes out his scissors and right as he's
Speaker 2: about to chop Benson's gorgeous hair, Stabler grabs him right
Speaker 2: before the cut, and then they go what are you
Speaker 2: up to, sassoon, And they find blonde hair in his pocket,
Speaker 2: so they take him in. He's dragged into the office
Speaker 2: and he goes, she was already dead before I cut
Speaker 2: her hair, and they're like, yeah, but you raped her.
Speaker 3: He goes, no, I have a lullaby.
Speaker 2: So he's stupid and they all laugh at him and
Speaker 2: he goes, I was at Banana Trama all night, and
Speaker 2: then they throw him in the cage that's in the
Speaker 2: middle of the room. So Banana Raama is a transvestite club,
Speaker 2: and he was getting a miss a lap dance from
Speaker 2: Miss Terry. And so there's also like those whole precincts
Speaker 2: like during this investigation, there's boxes and ladders and paint.
Speaker 2: And then Munch of course like drove to the wrong
Speaker 2: precincts that morning. And to me, Munch seems like a
Speaker 2: train guy, Like I feel like he would be a
Speaker 2: believer of public transportation. I'm really shocked that he would
Speaker 2: drive to the precincts. Where do you think Munch lives?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I could kind of see him leaving
Speaker 1: living like deep in a story are or something.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know. In my head, it's
Speaker 3: like Chelsea, like from I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So, not only did he drive to the wrong
Speaker 2: precinct he walks into a ladder this detect maybe the
Speaker 2: transition glasses should lighten up, and so paint spills all
Speaker 2: over his outfit. He screams, he goes all hell breaks
Speaker 2: loose when Kragan's not here, and we don't know why
Speaker 2: Craigan's not here. None of the former episodes would inform
Speaker 2: this information. It's also not in near any of the
Speaker 2: times he did get in trouble or stand up for
Speaker 2: someone and had to be like, I don't know what's
Speaker 2: going on.
Speaker 3: Maybe he just took a trip.
Speaker 1: We do know Dan Florek was commuting from California to
Speaker 1: New York, so maybe he just had something to Yeah,
Speaker 1: like he got fucked.
Speaker 3: And like or needed to do something with his wife
Speaker 3: and he couldn't be at that episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he does show up later in this episode,
Speaker 2: so I don't know. So then Stabler goes this guy's lullaby,
Speaker 2: you know it checks that he was all nights and
Speaker 2: the haircutter guy's not it because he was kicked out
Speaker 2: at four point thirty in the morning and that wouldn't
Speaker 2: like work with the time of death.
Speaker 3: So this is a jam packed episode.
Speaker 2: We get Mika Vaughn your New Ada for one episode,
Speaker 2: and if you want to play a drinking game or
Speaker 2: you're smoking some weed, I guess you can eat a
Speaker 2: mushroom every time we say something wink wink. But every
Speaker 2: time she mentioned mentions her son drenched loft, you will
Speaker 2: get fucked up.
Speaker 1: This bitch does not, and it's Paula Patten famously got
Speaker 1: cheeted on by Robin Thick.
Speaker 2: Not that that defines her, but that's mostly what I
Speaker 2: know about her. And she's not very good. We don't
Speaker 2: really care. And I guess she booked James Bond or
Speaker 2: Mission Impossible, and so Neil Bhaer told us he was like, listen, girl,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hold you back, like we'll write you out.
Speaker 2: So she was gonna be regular, and I wonder how
Speaker 2: that would have panned out, but she could have still
Speaker 2: been at the show.
Speaker 1: He also told us that Meka Vaughn is an anagram
Speaker 1: of Kim Novak, these old actresses that you know, Neil
Speaker 1: Bear was obsessed with.
Speaker 3: So that's an interesting little tidbit too.
Speaker 1: But yeah, the problem is is, like you can get
Speaker 1: somebody gorgeous, We've done it before with Gray Lick, they
Speaker 1: have to also be good. They have to be a
Speaker 1: Stephanie March. They have to be uh dian Neal, you know,
Speaker 1: like they have to be good looking and good at acting.
Speaker 1: And unfortunately, at least in this role, I'm not feeling
Speaker 1: it from Paula. But no, she's in a different show,
Speaker 1: like she's in a rom com. She's in like she's
Speaker 1: she's totally in a different show. She's like, hey, cuties,
Speaker 1: anybody want my loft? Okay, let's go. Like it's just
Speaker 1: so weird, like the Tonally, it's like she's never seen
Speaker 1: us view and she's like, I got it and just
Speaker 1: marched onto set and started doing this fucking twenty seven
Speaker 1: dresses bullshit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so then you know, our detectives go, I'm
Speaker 2: you know, Sabler Benson.
Speaker 3: She goes, wow, no first names, shut up? Who cares?
Speaker 4: How do you like?
Speaker 3: Who cares? She whatever?
Speaker 2: So she's like, okay, so the DNA from the semen
Speaker 2: inside your victim, Like, what's up? You know, I looked
Speaker 2: it up and we did a familial match and we've
Speaker 2: got Monica Worley. So her brother is the person who's
Speaker 2: semen is inside your victim and she was arrested for
Speaker 2: assaulting a cop at a Republican convention in two thousand
Speaker 2: and four.
Speaker 3: Props to Monica. That's with this episode.
Speaker 2: So and then she goes, lucky, we can do this
Speaker 2: here because in Illinois I can't do these little matches.
Speaker 2: But she goes, you know, I'm here from Chicago. I'm
Speaker 2: ready to ditch the Bears. For the giants, and Sailor
Speaker 2: goes jets and it's like, of course, you loser, you
Speaker 2: Catholic loser, just on a path to suffer. So she says,
Speaker 2: if you know anybody that wants my son drench loft
Speaker 2: on Lake Michigan. The seller is motivated and she also
Speaker 2: wants a jingle once they talk to the rapist's sister,
Speaker 2: and so then Benson and Staylor go find the sister
Speaker 2: and she's mime.
Speaker 3: She's a mime.
Speaker 2: She has a caution tape headband. She has white face
Speaker 2: paint clip on big giant earring. She's wearing a white
Speaker 2: jumpsuit and holding a fake rope but has a real
Speaker 2: hammer hanging off her jumpsuit and she's holding this fake
Speaker 2: rope so tight, and she will not acknowledge the authorities.
Speaker 3: So Stabler mime sawing.
Speaker 1: The rope.
Speaker 3: So good, and she's so good.
Speaker 1: She goes, ugh, you suck at mime, and he says,
Speaker 1: you suck at cooperating with the police, and she says
Speaker 1: what did I do?
Speaker 2: And they say your brother, and she says, oh, what
Speaker 2: did you do this time? And she's like, he, I
Speaker 2: always knew you'd go too far. He felt like the
Speaker 2: trust fund entitled him to pot any woman he wanted,
Speaker 2: and he owns a brownstone on seventy fifth and fifth
Speaker 2: and she just sold him out. No loyalty here, and
Speaker 2: she has black outlined lips with like orange lipstick. This
Speaker 2: woman is deranged, Like I can't describe her.
Speaker 3: She's like the person.
Speaker 1: It's like these two come money and the brother has
Speaker 1: turned into like a tool and she has like been
Speaker 1: like I'm going to go against my family wealth. And
Speaker 1: even though she probably has a nice apartment, she spends
Speaker 1: her time like doing performance art to try to like
Speaker 1: be important with her money, like say something with her
Speaker 1: life instead of being you know, she's the classic that
Speaker 1: I think you would say, why are you working? Just
Speaker 1: be rich, and she's like not working, She's she's yeah,
Speaker 1: bono mining on the sidewalk. I wonder if the actress
Speaker 1: that got this part was like, Wow, I did not
Speaker 1: think my college min was ever gonna come into be helpful.
Speaker 1: And there it is a part on SVU where you're
Speaker 1: playing an unhinged min with a trust fund.
Speaker 3: Yeah I'm obsessed, but okay.
Speaker 2: So we go to the douche Lord and he's walking
Speaker 2: in with Stabler and it's yeah, he has a slutty
Speaker 2: douche vibe and they're in cement room bars and they
Speaker 2: throw the photo of the body more vibe like morg style.
Speaker 2: I will stop saying vibes. I have to get a grip.
Speaker 2: I have to get a grip, get a grip. I
Speaker 2: was doing an audition with Ted and there was oh
Speaker 2: my god, okay, so you know, I try. I go
Speaker 2: out for funky stuff. I would say, I'm always pushing myself.
Speaker 2: The one role that broke me, we couldn't even send
Speaker 2: in the tape. I was supposed to just be like
Speaker 2: a loving, supporting wife and.
Speaker 3: I could not do it. I could not do it.
Speaker 1: I kept failing. I kept and then I kept add libbing,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, where I had to cut it early.
Speaker 1: He goes, I've been counting. You said it six times
Speaker 1: like I was not. I could not stop saying, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, I got a sweater. I'm like, I'm just
Speaker 1: a wife at a barbecue. I'm just having a good time.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it, couldn't
Speaker 1: do it. He's like, I don't think. He's like, let's
Speaker 1: just do the other character. I go, Okay, my god,
Speaker 1: I have all the takes. I have like seventeen takes
Speaker 1: of me. Just try it's the one sheet of lines.
Speaker 5: It was.
Speaker 2: There was no depth to it in any capacity I was.
Speaker 2: It was just like two scenes of doting like suburban woman,
Speaker 2: and it broke me. I'm like sending in tapes for
Speaker 2: Wayne Gacy's sister.
Speaker 1: Got it.
Speaker 3: That I can handle?
Speaker 1: I couldn't.
Speaker 3: I can't do it.
Speaker 2: Well, they've been fun. I did not get something I
Speaker 2: really wanted recently. But that's not an intro, so I'll
Speaker 2: get back to the episode. Yeah, because the product, the
Speaker 2: production called and they go, are you okay with full
Speaker 2: nudity and stimulated sex?
Speaker 1: And I went for sure, but someone else, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: didn't get it. Oh that makes you feel like it's
Speaker 1: gonna happen right, Well, I knew I was at least
Speaker 1: in the mix. But the people they gave it to
Speaker 1: are well, they just it's perfect. It's gonna be perfect. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the people who got it, I'm very happy for them.
Speaker 3: Oh gotcha? Okay? Yeah, that's what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like they because when someone told me, I smiled and
Speaker 2: they go, why do you hate her? I go, no,
Speaker 2: it's kind of perfect casting and that makes sense.
Speaker 4: Oh, got it.
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, I'm a lover of
Speaker 2: the craft. If I'm not the right person, I'm not
Speaker 2: the right person. But whatever, So murder face and the
Speaker 2: guy goes, listen, sex was consensual, and he also was like,
Speaker 2: blonde curls, and so like, sex is consensual, but no
Speaker 2: Raper murder. And then he uh, called well, I also
Speaker 2: would like to say that I did have to do
Speaker 2: this sex scene with Ted on zoom. That was the audition, really,
Speaker 2: I sent it in, yeah, but I couldn't but I
Speaker 2: handled it. And then just being like a woman at
Speaker 2: a barbecue spiraled me where I'm just like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: the vibes, the vibes, I'm not a real person anymore.
Speaker 2: Oh my son, I saw a video. The vibes are immaculate.
Speaker 2: Like anyways, So this dude, she's a classic. It's consensual sex.
Speaker 2: It's consensual. No Raper murder. He calls her blondie, which
Speaker 2: Stabler does not like, and so and then he goes, well,
Speaker 2: I don't even know her name. She came over to
Speaker 2: me and she said she was hot and wet. So
Speaker 2: Stabler clears his throat and goes, why would anyone throw
Speaker 2: themselves at you, and he's like, I don't know, but
Speaker 2: she did and I and then he goes and she
Speaker 2: even took out a tampon before we did it. And
Speaker 2: then Stabler goes, Okay, where's the tampon and he goes,
Speaker 2: killer ate it and it's his wienie dog, and yeah,
Speaker 2: one tampon will ruin a weenie dog, Like.
Speaker 3: You do have to take them to the vet.
Speaker 1: It's like they are looking for a killer and you're
Speaker 1: just going killerate it. Like it is like it's a
Speaker 1: full Laurel and Hardy episode. They're like, oh the tampon,
Speaker 1: who ate it? Killer ated a killer? Who's the killer? Oh?
Speaker 3: My dog? Like it's so wild.
Speaker 2: I didn't even catch that because I was still so
Speaker 2: crazy about this tampon, Like.
Speaker 3: Like, how is that?
Speaker 2: I guess I know that speriod now. But if you
Speaker 2: rape someone, you could also take out the tampon. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't think taking out a tampon equals consent, right nothing,
Speaker 2: what does that even mean?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 2: But whatever, But also if he kept the tampon, like
Speaker 2: then Stabler brings like where's the tam You want him
Speaker 2: to keep the tampon? You want him to be like Oh,
Speaker 2: I have a jar at my house with all these tampons,
Speaker 2: I'd rip out of women like I don't that would
Speaker 2: be better for you, Stabler. Anyways, this guy, he has
Speaker 2: it all on tape, and Stabler's like, why wouldn't you
Speaker 2: say that in the beginning, but he has it on tape,
Speaker 2: but also why would you have it on tape? And
Speaker 2: basically he does videos for a website called sex Prowl.
Speaker 2: It's the YouTube of sex and he taped the encounter
Speaker 2: from last night. So it's a tall woman, she's in
Speaker 2: a business suit and she is saying I'm hot, I'm wet,
Speaker 2: while slowly peeling off her clothing. But she also does
Speaker 2: look like an alien, like fully deranged, out of this world.
Speaker 2: Her eyes are staring off like something is often its freaky,
Speaker 2: very barbarian, and she's saying, I want it now, and
Speaker 2: she's just like desperate to fuck, I want it now,
Speaker 2: taking off her bra. So everyone's watching the tape and
Speaker 2: the dude goes, tell ja, but we might still have
Speaker 2: him for murder, and Finn goes, nope, not anymore.
Speaker 3: He was at the vet till.
Speaker 1: Six a m.
Speaker 2: So he goes, can I get out of here? Stabler says,
Speaker 2: not fast enough. So now Mikavon introduces herself to Finn,
Speaker 2: and I mean he's smitten like a cartoon guy like
Speaker 2: jaw on the floor and he goes, hey, I'm Odafin
Speaker 2: and she goes, wow, a first name.
Speaker 3: Love that.
Speaker 2: It's like, you fucking freak your fetish. This is not
Speaker 2: this is not normal. I've also never seen Fin work harder.
Speaker 2: Like she asks him to do something, he goes right
Speaker 2: on it, boss, no problem, Like he runs off. So
Speaker 2: then Stabler goes to the screen to get you know,
Speaker 2: like the sex site off the big screen, and Munch
Speaker 2: is in a full copy uniform. So Stabler stops his
Speaker 2: task and then makes fun of his friend and he goes, whatever,
Speaker 2: I had a paint attack, Like no clean clothes, so
Speaker 2: this bitch isn't doing his laundry and but he's so
Speaker 2: but he had his cop uniform laying around, but to
Speaker 2: not have one bit of laundry and also are you
Speaker 2: dry cleaning the suits anyways?
Speaker 1: No, I think it was like it happened at the
Speaker 1: office if we just changed into his suit, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: but he could be like I didn't have any other
Speaker 1: clothes here, but to be like there's no clean laundry.
Speaker 2: I bet he stops home. I bet he lives in Chelsea,
Speaker 2: But why is he driving you to Chelsea?
Speaker 3: Doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: He you know what, Belser lived on the Upper West
Speaker 1: Side because he lived near me, because I would see him.
Speaker 1: So maybe he's an Upper West Side guy. I could
Speaker 1: see that too, you know. So that's still a wild drive.
Speaker 1: It's it's still crazy.
Speaker 2: So then a man, crazed man walks in, pointing to
Speaker 2: the screen and he goes, is this your case? And
Speaker 2: when Stabler says yes, this man goes you son of
Speaker 2: a bitch, swings that Stabler misses. Stabler is like, oh,
Speaker 2: take it easy, you know, like he's a horse and
Speaker 2: someone sent him this viral email. He's wheezing, and he goes,
Speaker 2: my name is Greg Elding and that's my wife.
Speaker 1: And so that's sad. So now I just don't get
Speaker 1: what you thought was gonna happen from punching the cop
Speaker 1: that's leading your wife's case. I don't. I mean, I know,
Speaker 1: we're all mad, we're we're sad, we're mad we've lost
Speaker 1: your wife, But you're punching the lead cop in the case.
Speaker 1: I don't know. What he is his thought process was there?
Speaker 3: All right? So Greg's in it's his wife. Of course,
Speaker 3: this is sad.
Speaker 2: And they send a full uniform Munch into the like
Speaker 2: a third space office third and we need info. Lindsay
Speaker 2: was at the office yesterday. She is head of PR
Speaker 2: for Cola Now, and Munch goes, wow, high pressure job.
Speaker 2: Does she love drugs? And he goes, actually, yeah, but
Speaker 2: up until a year ago, she's a recovering addict and
Speaker 2: she would never go back. He plays a video of
Speaker 2: her on his phone to prove the real Lindsay is
Speaker 2: not some hopped up pore but a family woman at
Speaker 2: the park and Colon Now donate. So Colon Now donates
Speaker 2: jungle gyms. That's not what I called it as a youth,
Speaker 2: I said playground. I never used the term jungle gym.
Speaker 2: My kids call it the apparatus. Oh my god, they
Speaker 2: they go, they go. And I was on the apparatus
Speaker 2: and he was trying to get in front of me,
Speaker 2: because that's what I think. That's probably what the teachers
Speaker 2: it like, the playground apparatus. She'll always be like the apparatus.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she'll be like at my after school program.
Speaker 1: We don't even have the apparatus. Like then, we don't
Speaker 1: even have access to the apparatus. Oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: so fucking cute.
Speaker 2: So whatever, So Colon now donates a lot of these apparatus.
Speaker 2: I I don't know apparatiparadi.
Speaker 3: So Colon how is.
Speaker 2: Donating apparadi to charities? And she loves helping kids and
Speaker 2: doing pr for Cola and Stabler confirms his alibi.
Speaker 3: Her passion is doing pr for Cola. I don't know
Speaker 3: what to tell you. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I met a girl who's like young, and she
Speaker 2: wants to be a contract lawyer. And I'm like, what's
Speaker 2: what was her childhood? That this is young, you're committing
Speaker 2: to a life of contracts. So confusing to me. But however,
Speaker 2: so Stabler confirms that the husband didn't do it, but
Speaker 2: I never thought it was him, and he apologizes for
Speaker 2: being right. He just lost his mind after he saw
Speaker 2: the video. But you know, he goes working for Cola
Speaker 2: made her a lot of enemies. So they go talk
Speaker 2: to a guy in a suit and Munch is back
Speaker 2: in a suit as well, and the world feels more okay,
Speaker 2: and they're gonna go find these Cola enemies, and people
Speaker 2: are mad at sugar and fat children, and you know tobacco,
Speaker 2: is it cola? What's going on? The man goes, who cares,
Speaker 2: We're not in court because it's Lindsay elling. She's smart
Speaker 2: and sexy, and if the tobacco people had someone as
Speaker 2: sexy and smart as Lindsay, they'd also be able to
Speaker 2: continue a hawking their wares to the.
Speaker 3: Children, to kids.
Speaker 2: So they go talk to now a wild haired, messy
Speaker 2: office mad hatter type of man, and there's a lot
Speaker 2: of pushpins on the board and he of course hates
Speaker 2: cola and he refused one hundred thousand dollars she tried
Speaker 2: to give his organizations. Because he goes, fuck that bribe
Speaker 2: and fuck that bitch, and he goes, soda is bad
Speaker 2: for kids. So he goes go talk to Davy Gamm's
Speaker 2: mother and see what soda did for him. And then
Speaker 2: so we I know, sadly this boy took his own
Speaker 2: life at twelve. He wouldn't put the soda down. He
Speaker 2: was addicted to the cola. And Benson goes, wait, so
Speaker 2: soda made him take his own life. And the mom
Speaker 2: it was also a nurser medical professional. I guess I
Speaker 2: shouldn't be sexist. She could be the highest doctor in town,
Speaker 2: but her scrubs aren't giving that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: The scrubs are a shooting star Pastel most yeh yeah
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, maybe a pediatrician, but oh whatever. So she goes,
Speaker 2: obesity can make you depressed. He's depressed. Benson doesn't think
Speaker 2: you can blame soda, and she goes, yeah, yeah, that's
Speaker 2: what the jury said too. She goes, I would have
Speaker 2: won my case if that woman didn't build the Cola
Speaker 2: Now Athletics Center for the community.
Speaker 3: So we go to the center. I mean, this is
Speaker 3: the funniest episode this is.
Speaker 1: I also love this isn't The athletics center is like
Speaker 1: so wild, Like Coca Cola could buy an athletic center,
Speaker 1: but it wouldn't be allowed to be called.
Speaker 3: The Coca Cola Athletics Center. I don't think there's a
Speaker 3: dary episode about this.
Speaker 2: Like soda company takes all over over the school, and
Speaker 2: then the principal wants more funding, so she starts telling
Speaker 2: the students like, the more soda you drink, the more
Speaker 2: extra credit you're gonna get.
Speaker 1: So then all these kids just like can't stop drinking.
Speaker 1: The soda whatever. So this place is nice gymnastics gym,
Speaker 1: it's probably Chelsea Pierce.
Speaker 2: The probably like let's go next door Cola now posters everywhere,
Speaker 2: but kids are doing varying levels of gymnastics. Stabler presses
Speaker 2: him about the pr stuns, and the dude goes, who
Speaker 2: gives a shit? Look at these kids s aving the
Speaker 2: time of their life. The woman's a hero. So Stabler
Speaker 2: confidently goes into the office and he goes, wow, hero
Speaker 2: to some hated by others. Benson says, that's called doing
Speaker 2: your job, good one. So Finn says, yeah, but I
Speaker 2: hate her because she made the soda tax fail. And
Speaker 2: of course Stable, I mean, this is okay. So we're
Speaker 2: gonna get a social issue.
Speaker 1: And they're all arguing.
Speaker 3: So Stabler goes, well, who wants taxes?
Speaker 2: I bet he voted for Cuomo and or would he
Speaker 2: not because of the sex pest stuff and he is
Speaker 2: an SVU detective.
Speaker 1: I mean honest, Yeah, I think Stabler's voting for Adams,
Speaker 1: to be honest.
Speaker 3: Like, oh yeah, what about Finn? Who are they all?
Speaker 3: But Munch is definitely mom Donnie.
Speaker 1: I don't know about Finn because Finn Adams loves cops.
Speaker 1: He's also another black man. I feel like Finn might
Speaker 1: be going for Adams.
Speaker 3: I don't know. Yeah, but then they hate they hate corruption,
Speaker 3: so I don't know, Oh.
Speaker 2: God, so or whatever. I can't believe. I have to
Speaker 2: summarize this tax conversation. Okay, so Stabler doesn't like taxes.
Speaker 2: Munch says, well, taxes already go to soda for there's
Speaker 2: a four billion dollars subsidy on corn syrup and that's
Speaker 2: why it's so cheap.
Speaker 3: I'm like, bad for you.
Speaker 2: And then the tax on the soda fin ads would
Speaker 2: help pay for the cost of diabetes and heart disease.
Speaker 2: Benson goes, but it's not just soda, Like, come on,
Speaker 2: you know, Lindsay was also helping the little guy, and
Speaker 2: Munch goes, yeah, the little guy brought to you by Cola.
Speaker 2: Now the soda argument keeps going, so then Stabler goes
Speaker 2: money going good is good, and Finn says, well, if
Speaker 2: she really cared about poor kids, they wouldn't go plastering
Speaker 2: their logo everywhere. Finally, George Huang comes out of nowhere,
Speaker 2: poof like a genie, and he just goes, Lindsey was
Speaker 2: poisoned and it's like, what's your take on soda? You
Speaker 2: just stood there in silence as they talked. I just like, okay,
Speaker 2: but whatever. So Lindsay's poisoned. And by four the mushrooms
Speaker 2: were found in her gut. Four species from South America
Speaker 2: with a high dose of mascarine and toxic. And it's
Speaker 2: which is a toxin that makes you hot, sweaty and
Speaker 2: sexually aroused. And then Stabler really slowly says, I'm hot,
Speaker 2: I'm wet, and then explain and then he goes explains
Speaker 2: what she threw herself with this jerk looser and took
Speaker 2: off her clothes and wanted to go in the fountain.
Speaker 2: So this answers everything. Somebody slipped this woman a deadly
Speaker 2: cocktail of shrooms, so Huang says they were in her
Speaker 2: so that means it happened around dinner time.
Speaker 3: So then we find out in her calendar. Sorry, it
Speaker 3: was so funny the ways they were in her ju
Speaker 3: juna dinner time. Just stay in Testine, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: What are you doing?
Speaker 3: Saw on where we found the mushrooms. It was dinner time.
Speaker 1: Felt like a misfrizzult, but it also felt like they
Speaker 1: cut my voice out like someone that could say juno.
Speaker 2: But I watched a few times to make sure. So fundraiser.
Speaker 2: She's at a fundraiser at wishing time. So we go
Speaker 2: to wishing time. We heard a rich old voice, classic
Speaker 2: image of a rich old, mean woman. And this this
Speaker 2: is hers, this wishing time. Her grandfather donated the first
Speaker 2: Teeter Totter to Central Park in nineteen oh seven. See
Speaker 2: that's not I never said Teeter Totter. I say seesaw.
Speaker 1: Seesaw, I say seesaw Teeter Totter's a really old way
Speaker 1: of saying it.
Speaker 2: Okay, not to shade this actress, but that's old. And
Speaker 2: she loves continuing his work, and they fulfill kids wishes.
Speaker 2: They built an anti gang clubhouse, and she loves Lindsay
Speaker 2: and this is such a tragedy and she was an
Speaker 2: amazing woman and then one of the best top ten
Speaker 2: quotes of all time.
Speaker 3: She had a genius for corporate giving.
Speaker 1: So that's like.
Speaker 2: It is a scalet is a skill. People can all
Speaker 2: be good at different things. So anyways, Benson notices something
Speaker 2: behind the woman's head and it's blown up photos from
Speaker 2: the dinner and there are mushrooms on her salad. So
Speaker 2: but there's no mushrooms on the menu. So according to
Speaker 2: this old woman, and she is a legend. She's one
Speaker 2: Drama Desk Awards and Tony's and like a legend of
Speaker 2: screen and stage.
Speaker 1: So I am sorry, I just keep referring to her
Speaker 1: as that old woman. And she Mary Harris, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: and she was born in nineteen twenty seven.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so pretty incredible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just yeah, oh my god. She was
Speaker 2: in Spider Man. Holy shit, she's like the grandma and
Speaker 2: Spider Man. And her birthday is the day before mine.
Speaker 2: She's gonna be ninety eight this fall. She was in
Speaker 2: Search Party. I mean she said something come out in
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. That's what it means to really love
Speaker 2: what you do. And Lindsey, yeah, you do a really
Speaker 2: good Yeah. Can you talk with her a little bit
Speaker 2: so people know why we're like having the times of
Speaker 2: our lives.
Speaker 3: Do the corporate giving line?
Speaker 1: She had a genius for corporate giving. Like she just
Speaker 1: has this wild, like like vaguely British voice, but just
Speaker 1: kind of like.
Speaker 3: Say, there were no mushrooms on the menu. There were
Speaker 3: no mushrooms on the menu.
Speaker 1: Like she's just really but the best is when she
Speaker 1: like talks to her granddaughter, Oh a little bit with
Speaker 1: a little bit of stink on her voice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So she calls out for this granddaughter. Perfect timing
Speaker 2: for Emma, the granddaughter and Lindsay, and she goes, Lindsay's
Speaker 2: death was a terrible blow to her. So she asked
Speaker 2: Emma to pull all the photos for the cops. And
Speaker 2: we're on the desktop, we're looking through pictures and she
Speaker 2: explains that they met in rehab and the old ladies like,
Speaker 2: don't air out our dirty laundry. But then she goes,
Speaker 2: Emma's parents died when she was ten, and it's like okay.
Speaker 2: So then they see that, like, none of the other
Speaker 2: plates had mushrooms on them, so who put these mushrooms there?
Speaker 2: But there were over three hundred guests at the Swishing
Speaker 2: Time gala, so they have to take all the picks
Speaker 2: and the photographers and photos and we have to like
Speaker 2: see who did it, because at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: it's someone there put mushrooms on the plate. But then
Speaker 2: in one of these blown up photos there's a man
Speaker 2: being held by multiple security screaming, and Stabler goes, well,
Speaker 2: who's that? Why would you not bring it up, like
Speaker 2: this woman is dead. A man was screaming out it,
Speaker 2: like when you'd be like there was a guy there
Speaker 2: screaming that had to be dragged out, Like it just
Speaker 2: seems so funny. And it's photos of Dave Crumbhole, who
Speaker 2: we love, I mean ten things they hate about you,
Speaker 2: oh like Cannon Canon, he's been working for decades dream career.
Speaker 1: Also, by the way, like you can look at the
Speaker 1: scene cards of this, like the woman was found on
Speaker 1: October fifth, I think or fourth, and like they're talking
Speaker 1: at wishing time on October sixth, like how quickly are
Speaker 1: they blowing up photos from this event? Like the event
Speaker 1: was yesterday and they're like, get a bunch of photos
Speaker 1: of the salads and blow them up as big as possible,
Speaker 1: and we need to display them quickly, like it's so crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when they've been like, oh our friend died. Uh oh yeah,
Speaker 1: chill out on the blowing up of the picks.
Speaker 2: Do so so some Okay, so some guy is yelling
Speaker 2: and I just find it shocking that they wouldn't tell
Speaker 2: the authorities immediately. But Emma goes, oh, it's a homeless
Speaker 2: guy looking for food, and the old lady goes, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: He accosted Lindsey and yelled at her about Bolivia. He
Speaker 2: kept screaming, you can't own the rain. Wait, you have
Speaker 2: to say in the.
Speaker 1: Old Lady Boys.
Speaker 3: Hit anythwhere you can't. He he kept screaming, you can't
Speaker 3: own the rain. You know, like that's sort of what
Speaker 3: she's going.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy. Wait, but also, you know what, I
Speaker 1: just discovered the woman that plays Emma. Her name is
Speaker 1: Amanda Fuller, and I just was like, oh, how con
Speaker 1: We've like never I've like never looked her up, even
Speaker 1: though we've done this at like a bunch of live shows.
Speaker 1: She plays Badison in Orange is the New Black. Yes,
Speaker 1: oh that part. Auditioned for that part, but I.
Speaker 3: Didn't even like put that together.
Speaker 1: She plays Britney Murphy and the Britney Murphy story. I mean,
Speaker 1: she's done a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2: But anyway, so yeah, that's wild. I'm glad she's still
Speaker 2: out there. Yeah, she's working, working up a storm. So
Speaker 2: then Benson goes, it didn't make any sense, like they're
Speaker 2: back in the office, and then it cuts to the
Speaker 2: office and Munch goes, oh, it makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: Bolivia's ground zero for the water wars of course, So
Speaker 2: now we have another political debate about owning the rain
Speaker 2: and water. And basically Munch pulls up a blog and
Speaker 2: it's about Colon now and how it's trying to own
Speaker 2: all the water. And guess who the blog writer is.
Speaker 2: It's the guy who was held back and yelled at Lindsay.
Speaker 2: He's a professor. His name is Vincent ProCheck and he's
Speaker 2: a professor of mycology at the Natural History Museum, uh oh,
Speaker 2: and he specializes in toxic South American mushrooms. So then,
Speaker 2: and it's like, why would you use the mushrooms of
Speaker 2: your region to poisons? Like get another mushroom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're a mushroom guy and you want to
Speaker 1: kill somebody, you can't do it with mushrooms. Like that's
Speaker 1: you just can't do that, you know. It's like you
Speaker 1: got to figure out a different weapon of choice.
Speaker 2: They go to his lab. It's dark, it's spooky. There's
Speaker 2: a lot of tanks purple lights. And by tanks, I
Speaker 2: mean not military or tank tops, like tanks that are
Speaker 2: like aquariums that are holding ushrooms and so whatever. He's
Speaker 2: working so deep into these mushrooms with his at like telescope, microscope, glass,
Speaker 2: metal things are on his eyes and he's like looking
Speaker 2: in he doesn't even hear them. They yell for him
Speaker 2: multiple times, and then finally he's like ah. Benson takes
Speaker 2: a pot off a lid and goes, well, what's this
Speaker 2: and it's a bunch of steam goes in there and
Speaker 2: it hits her a little, and so it's just to
Speaker 2: clear her throat. And he goes, it's just mushrooms. Is
Speaker 2: that illegal? She responds, it is if you use it
Speaker 2: to poison someone. He's immediately in cement room bars and
Speaker 2: he has the energy of I would say the Father
Speaker 2: and Beauty and the Beast, a lot of inventions, spastic energy,
Speaker 2: trying to get stuff done, you know, ahead of his time.
Speaker 2: And so he's not by looks, not by looks. It's
Speaker 2: the ever Crumholtz. We've told you, Okay. So he's in
Speaker 2: cement room bars. He's railing about Lindsay yelling and privatizing
Speaker 2: water and he and I'm like, you should be saying
Speaker 2: I want a lawyer. But he agrees that murder is bad,
Speaker 2: but he says I'm glad she's dead, yay, And then
Speaker 2: Benson goes, are you happy. Now this girl is gonna
Speaker 2: grow up without a father, and ProCheck goes, do you
Speaker 2: mean mother, and Sablor goes, yay, mother, and then Sailor
Speaker 2: takes out pictures and says, we have you at the scene,
Speaker 2: and Benson goes yeah and gets right in his face
Speaker 2: and goes at Niagara falls. And so now the string
Speaker 2: instruments start to play, and she says, ring a bell.
Speaker 2: We saw you on the roof with your gunman, and
Speaker 2: so Stablor stands up. He's like, what's up, girl, and
Speaker 2: then she says a famous line. She goes, well, I'm
Speaker 2: not the one who stabbed the captain with a pickle,
Speaker 2: and then the professor goes uh oh, and then stands
Speaker 2: up to help. Stallor turns around and puts his hands
Speaker 2: up on him and shoves him, and he goes, well,
Speaker 2: let me see her eyes, and Staylor goes, you're not
Speaker 2: gonna fucking look at her eyes, and he goes, well,
Speaker 2: she's about to fall, and she does fall right into
Speaker 2: Stabler's arms, and Stablor has to call for a bus.
Speaker 2: Girl down. She inhaled too many mushrooms, so now she's tripping.
Speaker 2: We're in the hospital. She's like on a pillow, the
Speaker 2: most beautiful little snow white we've ever seen. Eyes open,
Speaker 2: and there's Hwang and there's no better way to wake
Speaker 2: up from.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: I would be happy if I woke up in the
Speaker 2: hospital from a drug trip and bed Wong was right there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that'd be nice. But she's confused. She goes, who
Speaker 1: put rocks in my head?
Speaker 2: And basically he's boiling mushrooms and they arrested him, but
Speaker 2: she breathed them way too deep and the vapors are
Speaker 2: temporarily neurotoxic.
Speaker 1: The one thing on her mind, though, is work. You know,
Speaker 1: she's a workhorse, And so she goes, did he confess
Speaker 1: to murder?
Speaker 2: And Bedwong says no, he's actually refusing to speak until
Speaker 2: he knows that you're okay. So he's a softie. And
Speaker 2: then she gets up and asks for a ride. And
Speaker 2: so now they get like, I wonder if they stop
Speaker 2: to get coffees and now and why is everyone driving?
Speaker 4: Where?
Speaker 3: But everyone's driving? But I bet everyone?
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like bed Wong like is coming in from
Speaker 2: the FBI and then renting a vehicle.
Speaker 3: I think they're giving him one. I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1: Listen, this mushroom guy, though he does believe in right
Speaker 1: and wrong. He's got a good sense of right and wrong.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, gotta give him that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then so anyway, so now we're here where the
Speaker 2: ride has been given. We're back in cement room bars.
Speaker 2: He's preaching, he won't stop. He's talking about wombats, hippos,
Speaker 2: the importance of water. He also says, so sorry that
Speaker 2: the fun guy hurt, Like, that's not that's not his heart.
Speaker 2: He would never want to, like use fung guy to
Speaker 2: hurt people. Stabler and Benson just hear him, Babbel and Babel,
Speaker 2: and Stabler's like he's been going in circles for a while.
Speaker 2: Benson wants to bring it back to Lindsay and he
Speaker 2: talks about water. But he says he didn't kill her.
Speaker 2: And now Mika and George are what are hanging out
Speaker 2: there watching? And she asks, well, why didn't he get
Speaker 2: fucked up? And and it's obvious you're an idiot. He's
Speaker 2: built up a tolerance, you know, years of exposure. And
Speaker 2: she's like, but he sounds like a psychopath, and he
Speaker 2: goes sure, But he works at this fancy museum. He
Speaker 2: has published articles. He leads foraging trips. He's odd but sane.
Speaker 2: Dave Seaver one of our favorite guests. Michael Boatman, I'm
Speaker 2: obsessed with him. If you haven't listened to that episode.
Speaker 2: His sister called him after the museum called her so
Speaker 2: and then Meeka Vaughn tries to sell her sun drenched
Speaker 2: loft to him. But he's flirty, I mean, he wants
Speaker 2: to fuck, and she's sassy because he's like, when can
Speaker 2: we chat? And she goes arraignment. So they're arguing, like
Speaker 2: always classic, we want remand we want freedom, back and forth.
Speaker 2: Boatman goes from flirty to feisty and calls her new
Speaker 2: and Proache keeps shouting about the water what else is new?
Speaker 2: But Boatman's like, listen, this dude needs to tend to
Speaker 2: his mushrooms. Meeka Vaughn, amateur mistakes, says mushrooms aren't children.
Speaker 2: The judge goes, oh that's a misstep, girl. I love
Speaker 2: my roses. They've won prizes and I'd rather ditch my
Speaker 2: wife than my flowers. So he just has to surrender
Speaker 2: his passport and the bales set for two hundred and
Speaker 2: fifty thousand dollars. Who's paying that? Or do you think
Speaker 2: he's saved all his money or he's also a rich No, yeah,
Speaker 2: he's a professor. I don't know, not a lot of money,
Speaker 2: Like what is that's a lot? But he smiles, he's
Speaker 2: happy with this. Yeah, so I guess it's a doable
Speaker 2: amount for him. So then Stabler comes sick.
Speaker 1: What does he have to actually pay? Pays twenty five
Speaker 1: thousand that's what the bond would be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess he could have that savings.
Speaker 2: Stabler comes to help her do the NYC press run
Speaker 2: because you know, this isn't Chicago, It's New York. And
Speaker 2: it's like you're acting like Chicago's like a fucking hicckville.
Speaker 2: It's the busiest airport in our country. What are you
Speaker 2: talking about?
Speaker 1: And meanwhile, a full Chicago PD, Chicago Fire, Chicago MED,
Speaker 1: they're all on the horizon, they're about they're like all
Speaker 1: coming out this year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you might not know how the news runs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but so anyways, she goes, I don't how to handle myself,
Speaker 2: so and she does. She basically is like, Hey, I'm
Speaker 2: not really gonna chat you guys, like we're outside in
Speaker 2: the court steps. She goes, but why don't you go
Speaker 2: talk to that guy mention water and so he's popping
Speaker 2: off and now the office is watching him talk about
Speaker 2: water on the TV screen and you know, good news though,
Speaker 2: the DNA of the mushrooms are a genetic match to
Speaker 2: his mushrooms, so they're picked from the same patch. So
Speaker 2: the weapons is his, everything's his. The lawyer, you know,
Speaker 2: the time whatever. But the lawyer says, we want to
Speaker 2: make a deal, so we got to start chatting. Emma
Speaker 2: and Rosemary, Granny they come on down with boxes and
Speaker 2: boxes of photos.
Speaker 3: Emma's miserable. The old lady is chipper.
Speaker 2: Emma looks into the glass or the professor's on the
Speaker 2: other side, and Granny says, don't stare.
Speaker 3: Okay, you gotta do it. Don't stare. It's rude.
Speaker 2: And then Emma goes, okay, and what killing my best friend?
Speaker 2: Was that a faux paw? And she grabs her and says,
Speaker 2: I know, it's all the rage to mote in public.
Speaker 2: See it's not as fun, but I can't just keep
Speaker 2: forcing you to do it, you know. So she's like,
Speaker 2: it's all the rage toimote in public, but in my
Speaker 2: day it wasn't done. And it's like, Grammy, your day
Speaker 2: is done. She says, well, I'm still alive and I
Speaker 2: never did drugs like you. It's like, yeah, you've said
Speaker 2: it a million times, like good for you probably owned slaves,
Speaker 2: how about that? So then she goes, as long as
Speaker 2: you wear my intaglia necklace, And then I.
Speaker 3: Thought you were going to explain what that is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am, I am an intaglia. I've looked it
Speaker 1: up before. It's like a carving technique where like the
Speaker 1: design is inside, so a lot of times it's like
Speaker 1: a side portrait silhouette of somebody or whatever, and.
Speaker 3: It's it's carved in and it creates a recessed.
Speaker 1: Image, is what I've looked up.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she goes, you know you will mind your
Speaker 2: manners as long as you wear my necklace. You're minding
Speaker 2: your manners. It's an heirloom. So then Benson goes, hey, lady,
Speaker 2: have you ever been to like an attics support group
Speaker 2: or anything? Maybe at Emma's rehab And she goes, ew
Speaker 2: not with those junkies. Gross, And then we so we
Speaker 2: hear Dave Crumholtz just screaming up a storm, and Grammy
Speaker 2: and Emma runoff, and Benson goes jeez, if I grew
Speaker 2: up with that, I would do drugs too.
Speaker 1: Then we hear a scream I want a livy out,
Speaker 1: don't we all? So Mika opens the door and lets
Speaker 1: her in.
Speaker 2: Boatman wants an insanity defense based on the mushroom fumes,
Speaker 2: but he says I'm not crazy, and he wants Benson
Speaker 2: to confirm that, and he wants to fire him.
Speaker 3: He screams, go away.
Speaker 2: Boatman walks off, spins around and has a pretty woman
Speaker 2: moment and Legit goes big mistake and leaves. So then
Speaker 2: he says, I'm gonna plead guilty. That's what he says,
Speaker 2: but he can't do that without a lawyer, and me
Speaker 2: goes like it's a police building. I'm sure we could
Speaker 2: find some lawyer.
Speaker 3: But he sucks. So we're in court.
Speaker 2: This guy's stuttering, he doesn't know what's going on, he
Speaker 2: doesn't know the charges, but it doesn't matter. Dave crumbolds
Speaker 2: he wants to plead guilty. He goes, I did it
Speaker 2: I wanted or dead, But the judge needs specifics, like
Speaker 2: you have to do a true allocution, like what types?
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 2: How'd you do it? And he says three types of mushrooms.
Speaker 2: Stabler gets his thinking face on. He has a little notebook.
Speaker 2: It's actually four mushrooms. It's actually four, not three. A
Speaker 2: man like this was such a professional and a professor
Speaker 2: at mushrooms would not fuck this up.
Speaker 3: A fool could suck.
Speaker 1: It up, not this guy.
Speaker 2: So then he tries to get Von to stop the judge,
Speaker 2: just stop the judge. He has it's court side seats.
Speaker 2: It's a Nicks home opener.
Speaker 1: This guy has a lot of hobbies court side basketball
Speaker 1: roses like he just does not want to see his
Speaker 1: wife after work, and he's about to speed up you know,
Speaker 1: the rules of Justice. Because oh my god, I was
Speaker 1: out with friends and obviously talking about crime and Jeriada YadA,
Speaker 1: and and I said something and they thought it was
Speaker 1: a catchphrase. They're like, oh, is that part of the podcast.
Speaker 1: I go, no, truly, I just said it, but maybe
Speaker 1: it should be. But I said, journey to Justice. I
Speaker 1: thought it was like a catchphrase. I had I go, nope,
Speaker 1: here for my sl justice. So talking about always sounds
Speaker 1: like a Lifetime movie about like somebody who like has
Speaker 1: to keep going getting the system to work for them.
Speaker 2: Well, because I knew about this one crime that like,
Speaker 2: and I was talking about it and then I said
Speaker 2: the sentence of the guy, and they go, how long?
Speaker 2: And I said, I don't know how long the journey
Speaker 2: to justice was. So but I've been trying to sneak
Speaker 2: it into conversations, but they thought I was like doing
Speaker 2: bits on them and I was like, no, so whatever,
Speaker 2: so da da da da the musher so he okay.
Speaker 2: So basically, fucking Stabler's like, listen, this isn't justice, Like
Speaker 2: who cares about basketball? Like we need to figure this out,
Speaker 2: but no one's listening to him. So now he pretends
Speaker 2: to have a mushroom attack and acts crazy, makes the
Speaker 2: fool of himself.
Speaker 1: He's like, we gotta, we gotta order the pizza. He
Speaker 1: starts stripping in the galley. We're like, take it off, maloney.
Speaker 2: And then the ambulance gets called for him and he's
Speaker 2: signing himself out and Mika's a bit. She's like, what's
Speaker 2: going on here? And he's like, I know the truth.
Speaker 2: You know the truth. This motherfucker's lying. She goes, who cares?
Speaker 2: And he goes, he's innocent. Well, you don't care about
Speaker 2: any of this, but she doesn't want to look like
Speaker 2: a flake. This is her first you know, go in
Speaker 2: in New York and he's like, well, I need more
Speaker 2: time to figure this out, and so she goes, well,
Speaker 2: you have till tomorrow morning to find the evidence to
Speaker 2: back up whatever you're saying. So it's an all night
Speaker 2: or time. Everyone's at the precinct looking at pics and
Speaker 2: evidence to figure this out. At seven fifty one, no mushrooms.
Speaker 2: At eight oh two, mushrooms. But the thing is pro
Speaker 2: check according to all the photos, is nowhere near the plate,
Speaker 2: nowhere near lindsay like, he could not have done this.
Speaker 2: So Mika makes a call and we don't know what
Speaker 2: it is. But she leaves and she's like, I need sleep,
Speaker 2: and she gives them all attitude. This is actually psychotic.
Speaker 2: She turns around and she goes, hey, I don't think
Speaker 2: you understand how this works. You guys are the pots
Speaker 2: and pans. I'm the chef.
Speaker 1: Okay, bitch, No, no, none of our past like Das
Speaker 1: would have ever said anything like that.
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: A little woman named Sonia Paxton, well, Sonya was a
Speaker 1: rude bitch, but she knew she needed these fucking detectives.
Speaker 1: You know you're crazy. She knew she needed them. I
Speaker 1: don't think she would have said, I'm the sh chef,
Speaker 1: you're the pots and fans. It's so rude, speaking of
Speaker 1: beauty and the beast. I mean it's written, it's like
Speaker 1: you're missus Potts. I'm bell like it's wild yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: and to them, I mean the ninety seven percent right,
Speaker 1: it's connection, right, come on.
Speaker 2: So Stabler can't even believe she said it. But we're
Speaker 2: back at court. Nobody's seen the defense attorney. Uh oh,
Speaker 2: he went on vacation, so the judge is gonna put
Speaker 2: him in contempt. And then Stabler goes, you bitch, you
Speaker 2: gave him a bad lawyer on purpose. And she goes,
Speaker 2: or is he the best lawyer? She goes, is it
Speaker 2: no lawyer here? The best lawyer? It gives us days,
Speaker 2: not hours. So she actually does like those statement from
Speaker 2: the night before makes no sense. She's playing dirty and
Speaker 2: Staylor really likes it. But she sent him to the loft,
Speaker 2: and Stabler this time says, sun drenched. I can't so
Speaker 2: Kragan's on the steps and not a lot of craigan
Speaker 2: this up. But I think you're right. He had a
Speaker 2: delayed flight and he says, hi, to Mika. So that's
Speaker 2: where she gets to meet him, and Craigan goes, oh, yeah, babe,
Speaker 2: nice knowing you. Your boss called pack your bags. You're
Speaker 2: going back to Chicago. Apparently you sent a defense attorney
Speaker 2: on vacation. And yeah, so she did some dirty tricks.
Speaker 2: Oh so she's out and she's fired, and now she
Speaker 2: has to take the loft off the market.
Speaker 3: They have a floir.
Speaker 2: I just it's so embarrassing. Okay, they have a flirty goodbye.
Speaker 2: She skips off. It doesn't seem like I think she
Speaker 2: comes from money. So then Benson and Sadlor goes straight
Speaker 2: to Crumholtz and say why did you agree to crime
Speaker 2: you didn't commit? And he smiles and goes for the cause,
Speaker 2: I got to be on TV. So they show all
Speaker 2: these photos of people at the party to be like, well,
Speaker 2: who who here had access to your mushrooms? And then
Speaker 2: when it's a photo of Emma, he starts stuttering and
Speaker 2: they all notice, so they leave. But then they see
Speaker 2: him rush off, and so they follow him and they
Speaker 2: follow him right to Emma's house where she goes a
Speaker 2: vinny get out of here, and they see them and
Speaker 2: they're they're like, oh, my god, both of you lied.
Speaker 2: And then Granny comes down and goes, you know this man,
Speaker 2: and so then they arrest both of them, of course accomplices,
Speaker 2: and Grammy's like, you murdered her, and they take them
Speaker 2: away and he screams, no, it was all me.
Speaker 3: I did it.
Speaker 2: So now we're in cement room bars, we're back. Baby
Speaker 2: Benson's in the room with him. They talk mushroom science
Speaker 2: and he's messing up and they know he didn't do it,
Speaker 2: so it's they just have to figure something out to get,
Speaker 2: you know, to justice. So then Emma stole them from
Speaker 2: the lab and she's with Stabler saying she never went
Speaker 2: to his lab, but they already searched her room and
Speaker 2: found a bag of mushrooms that were like the same
Speaker 2: ones that killed Lindsay, like to not get rid of
Speaker 2: the evidence from your room.
Speaker 3: I just the Hubris.
Speaker 1: He's not gonna yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, No it's hers, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know it's hers.
Speaker 3: She's stupid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, he's not going to get
Speaker 1: rid of his little precious children. But she's dumb. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's dumb. So how who're on the Grammy side?
Speaker 2: Okay, so then how did they meet, and it's a
Speaker 2: back and forth, like you know when they go back
Speaker 2: and forth between the rooms. So so basically, Emma started
Speaker 2: going to water rights meetings and we know Professor was
Speaker 2: there and he just felt such a fire in her
Speaker 2: eyes for the environment. Emma spilled the beans to the
Speaker 2: professor about how her grandma and Lindsay were making deals
Speaker 2: in the Catskills, that the woman was buying up all
Speaker 2: this upstate land and then selling the water rights to
Speaker 2: Lindsay and Cola now, and she begged her grandmother not
Speaker 2: to sell this to Lindsay. But you know, she's just
Speaker 2: an amazing woman and Emma's just a screw up. And
Speaker 2: it's like, well they both went to rehab. Yeah, like
Speaker 2: why is one amazing and one not?
Speaker 1: They both went to rehab, Well, only one has a
Speaker 1: gift for corporate giving, you know that's the problem.
Speaker 2: And it cuts to him telling Benson she's not a
Speaker 2: screw up. She's a subtle person in a loud world.
Speaker 2: I like beautiful, it's beautiful. He really likes her. Benson
Speaker 2: realizes he's in love with her and that's why he
Speaker 2: pled guilty. And he says, like, no, the soapbox, I
Speaker 2: care but yeah, we're in love. And then it hops
Speaker 2: over to Emma and she's like love and my family
Speaker 2: loves about being at the right event and a right
Speaker 2: dress and gossiping. But she never got that, but Lindsay did,
Speaker 2: and you know that it was Grandma's dream girl, and
Speaker 2: so you killed her and she denies killing her, and
Speaker 2: then he really twists the knife and goes, I bet
Speaker 2: if Lindsay was here, Grandma would have shown up and
Speaker 2: seen if she was okay, huh, And Emma knows it's true,
Speaker 2: so she tears up and he goes, let's see. So
Speaker 2: he opens the door, all theatrical walks around the priestinct
Speaker 2: comes back and goes, yeah, no Grandma here. She really
Speaker 2: doesn't care about you, does she? And Emma goes she
Speaker 2: loves me, and Sabah goes, like you love Vinnie and
Speaker 2: Stabler calls him odd and she says he's not odd,
Speaker 2: he's just his own person. I think that's the definition
Speaker 2: of odd. So then Stabler replies, like, you just used
Speaker 2: him for mushrooms, you didn't actually like him. And then
Speaker 2: we realized that Vinnie is behind the spyglass. Vinnie and
Speaker 2: Benson are watching all of this and she walks up
Speaker 2: to the mirror and goes, Vinnie, I'm sorry, and Stabler's like, bitch,
Speaker 2: you're sorry. You saw him get arrested and you said nothing.
Speaker 2: And she says, Vinnie, I love you, and Saba goes, yeah,
Speaker 2: you mean it so much you were gonna let him
Speaker 2: do your prison time for you. She starts getting short
Speaker 2: of breath. She's stressed out, and she keeps repeating I can't,
Speaker 2: I can't. And he goes, what confessed to murdering the
Speaker 2: mother of a nine year old? And you know he
Speaker 2: wants to get in there, and Benson goes, not a chance,
Speaker 2: but also have some self respect, and so they take
Speaker 2: the spy feature off the glass and they make them
Speaker 2: look at each other through the window.
Speaker 3: Very all stars too. Fifi O'Hara, Alyssa, I.
Speaker 2: Bought a comea and she apologizes for not saying anything,
Speaker 2: and he goes, no, I know, I know, and he's
Speaker 2: crying too, and finally she snaps and goes, I killed
Speaker 2: that two faced bitch. She's like, you think that bitch
Speaker 2: cared about me. She used me to get to my grandma,
Speaker 2: and as soon as that bitch died, I'm garbage. Granny
Speaker 2: never cared about me. She never cared about me. My
Speaker 2: grandma's never said one fucking nice word to me, no
Speaker 2: ounce of love. And she's like, there never was any love.
Speaker 2: And then she walks back and he and he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: it wasn't about water, it was about revenge. So like
Speaker 2: he thought she was just passionate about water too, and
Speaker 2: she says, the only water you're going to see is tears.
Speaker 3: That's the stupidest thing Benson's ever said.
Speaker 2: And then he runs off and tries to get in
Speaker 2: and opens the door, tries to push back Stabler, and
Speaker 2: while Stabler and Benson are holding him back, Busy, she
Speaker 2: grabs the bag of mushrooms and starts eating them. And
Speaker 2: she's being dipped by Stabler now, and he's trying to
Speaker 2: get them out of her mouth like she's a golden
Speaker 2: retriever and like ripping these mushrooms out of her mouth
Speaker 2: and screaming at her, and she's like, tell Grammy, her
Speaker 2: problem child is dead. And then you know, she's gasping,
Speaker 2: holding onto Stabler. Crumb holds is watching an agony. He's like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I hope this bitch lives, you know, And then Benson
Speaker 2: and Stabler are now standing over her.
Speaker 3: She is alive.
Speaker 2: She wakes up in the hospital and they go, well,
Speaker 2: look who's here. And Grammy walks into the doorway and
Speaker 2: she goes, oh my god, you came. And Emma's like
Speaker 2: so happy even though she was in a prison. The
Speaker 2: grandma stands over and goes, of course I came. And
Speaker 2: then Emma puts her hand on the grandma and to
Speaker 2: try to explain herself, and the grandma.
Speaker 3: Says, you will take your hands off of me.
Speaker 2: And Emma's like taken aback by that, and she said
Speaker 2: and then she goes, you are not my grandchild. I
Speaker 2: came only for my necklace, and then takes it off
Speaker 2: her neck. Benson goes, you're taking that. She could sell
Speaker 2: that to pay for a defense attorney, and Emma goes,
Speaker 2: I would never do that, and then Grammy is like sure,
Speaker 2: like how you would never steal my Mercedes or lose
Speaker 2: your virginity at fifteen or stuff that garbage up your nose?
Speaker 1: Do you want me to do this whole one because
Speaker 1: I kind of love it, hey, okay, And then the
Speaker 1: grandma goes like, you would never steal my Mercedes or
Speaker 1: lose your virginity at fifteen or stuff that garbage up
Speaker 1: your nose, Like I.
Speaker 3: Loved doing this lipstick so much because she's so wild.
Speaker 2: She's so evil, she's so mean. I wish Emma had
Speaker 2: some Ah, poor Emma, but she's crying. She says I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: and Granny doesn't even look at her and turns around,
Speaker 2: and the detectives are like like they are confused by
Speaker 2: the cruelty. And then she goes, I'm giving this necklace
Speaker 2: to Lindsay's daughter. You will inherit nothing And Emma's like,
Speaker 2: you think I care about money, Like I just wanted
Speaker 2: a mom.
Speaker 1: And then she says, yes, well she died. It's like
Speaker 1: my favorite line of the entire series.
Speaker 4: I just wanted a mom.
Speaker 3: Yes well she died. And it's like, isn't that your daughter?
Speaker 3: Like yeah, she's so heartless. It's fucking you know.
Speaker 1: I love this entire genre of old rich ladies in
Speaker 1: SVU with Angela Lansberry. This woman, you know, we've got
Speaker 1: so many Michael, the woman that we interviewed from Dahmer,
Speaker 1: like all these people and this woman really smashes it.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah she does.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: She wants off, and Vinnie is there with flowers and
Speaker 2: the detectives are shocked to see him, but he's there
Speaker 2: for Emma and they're like, she was gonna go to
Speaker 2: jail for you, and then he goes Nobody's perfect, which
Speaker 2: has to be a sun like at hot reference, Like
Speaker 2: it has to because there was that pretty woman reference
Speaker 2: from up top, Like this is just so up to
Speaker 2: the top, this is the best.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, with Neil Bear too, it feels like it
Speaker 1: would be a it's not like it hot too.
Speaker 3: And then the detectives are dumbfounded again.
Speaker 2: They're like okay, like they've seen everything twisted, everything dark,
Speaker 2: and they're like eyes bugged out, like okay, I guess
Speaker 2: her work here is done, and they're you know, they're
Speaker 2: left flirting. I'm sure he'll visit her in prison, and
Speaker 2: that's dick Wolf baby, and.
Speaker 1: Then Emma becomes Badison in prison and she fucking beats
Speaker 1: the shit out of people.
Speaker 2: Well, because because this was so Neil Bear and so
Speaker 2: theatric I was like who wrote it? And the writers
Speaker 2: it says dick Wolf and Speedweed.
Speaker 1: Ah, they let Speedweed do an episode.
Speaker 3: Yes, those are the two that are credited, which is
Speaker 3: crazy to me.
Speaker 1: Wow, it makes sense to me that someone named Speedweed
Speaker 1: wrote this episode because it's so fucking why it's so
Speaker 1: much more unhinged than like other episodes. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so whereas other writers might have been like, this goes
Speaker 1: kind of against the tone of the show, this gets
Speaker 1: a little bit crazy, Speedweed's like, let's try this, you know,
Speaker 1: like they were letting Speedweed. Dick Wolf was taking Speedweed.
Speaker 3: Under his wing there, I think a little bit.
Speaker 1: I didn't know if this episode was based on anything real,
Speaker 1: and I'm still not convinced, but I've got a couple
Speaker 1: of stories that I know it definitely borrowed from. Here's
Speaker 1: what's crazy. Okay, So Sassoon is based on a couple
Speaker 1: of things. The guy that was, you know, the red herring,
Speaker 1: that was the guy snipping the hair in the park.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: So the nineteen eighty six case of Jack the Snipper
Speaker 1: was in Los Angeles in nineteen eighty six. Starting in February,
Speaker 1: a perpetrator that the LAPD called Jack the Snipper would
Speaker 1: ambush women in Southeast LA and snip off locks of
Speaker 1: their hair. As of July of nineteen eighty six, there
Speaker 1: had been eight attacks. The attacker struck in the neighborhoods
Speaker 1: of Norwalk, Downy, Bellflower, Commerce and Maywood. All of the
Speaker 1: victims were female. The majority were Latina or Asian with long,
Speaker 1: dark hair like long, long long. Three of the victims
Speaker 1: were miners, including a nine year old girl, which is
Speaker 1: super terrifying and creepy. Many were waiting for the bus
Speaker 1: or walking to work, and most of them say they
Speaker 1: remember seeing the guy a few days before being attacked.
Speaker 1: One victim told the La Times, I walked by and
Speaker 1: then he passed by very close. He turned around right away.
Speaker 1: I saw the blade and scissors. I began to scream.
Speaker 1: He told me to shut up and said, if you
Speaker 1: call the police, I'm going to follow you. End quote
Speaker 1: Detective Steve Davis, who was with the Norwalk Sheriff's Department.
Speaker 1: Walk is like a neighborhood over by lax Like. I
Speaker 1: didn't know they had like their own sheriff's department, but
Speaker 1: whatever the eighties, he told La Times. It's hard to
Speaker 1: say what his motivation is. The consensus is he has
Speaker 1: a hair fetish. He was probably getting a sexual thrill
Speaker 1: from doing this.
Speaker 3: This is a sicko. He's like a time bomb waiting
Speaker 3: to go off. End of quote.
Speaker 1: They also said they thought he might be selling the hair,
Speaker 1: but then, of course hair experts are like, you know,
Speaker 1: people are not buying random swatches of hair from people
Speaker 1: off the street, like you're buying professional You're.
Speaker 3: Buying real human hair.
Speaker 1: You're buying it from usually from overseas, and you're buying
Speaker 1: enough to like make full wigs, not just like one
Speaker 1: snip that some guy grabbed in like a park. So
Speaker 1: they were looking for a guy, white male, about thirty
Speaker 1: years old, between one hundred and seventeen hundred and eighty pounds,
Speaker 1: light brown, wavy hair, dresses in blue shirts, pants, work boots,
Speaker 1: and they described his vehicle as a black mini truck
Speaker 1: with orange and yellow pinstripes.
Speaker 3: But as far as I could tell, they never found
Speaker 3: this sky.
Speaker 1: I don't think something was in the air in nineteen eighties,
Speaker 1: because I found another article about a guy doing this
Speaker 1: same thing in Charlottesville, Virginia in November of that same year.
Speaker 1: So this is like, you know, they're still looking for
Speaker 1: this guy as of June and July. In November, some
Speaker 1: guy starts doing this Jack the snippershit at UVA and
Speaker 1: he's described as a well dressed young man who might
Speaker 1: have even been a student at UVA who cut the
Speaker 1: hair of six women who were studying at the UVA Library.
Speaker 1: They increased security, but I couldn't find if they ever
Speaker 1: found this guy. Then what's wild is there's another guy
Speaker 1: doing it in LA in two thousand and one, and
Speaker 1: this guy is called the hair Bandit.
Speaker 3: But is this a fetish?
Speaker 1: Is this? Like? What is it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: But what's wild is this guy I'm gonna talk about
Speaker 1: gets arrested in Norwalk, which is the same area of LA.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, is this the guy from nineteen eighty six?
Speaker 3: Like they don't.
Speaker 1: They call this guy the hair Bandit, different name, and
Speaker 1: they get him for nine attacks that he does between
Speaker 1: December fourth and December thirty first, two thousand and one.
Speaker 1: He was forty eight when they got him, so he
Speaker 1: could have easily been in his late twenties doing this.
Speaker 1: They were looking for a guy around thirty, so it
Speaker 1: really could be the same fucking guy from eighty six.
Speaker 1: They say that in any of the stuff that I found,
Speaker 1: and they're calling him a different name. They're not like, Wow,
Speaker 1: we found the old Jack the Snipper. They're calling this
Speaker 1: guy the hair bandon and he's done these attacks are
Speaker 1: much closer together. This is like nine attacks in less
Speaker 1: than four weeks, just in the month of December two
Speaker 1: thousand and one. And he would cut women's hairs with
Speaker 1: with hair with scissors or knives while they stood or
Speaker 1: walked in public. Some of the victims actually got neck
Speaker 1: injuries from how hard he like snatched their hair back
Speaker 1: during the attacks.
Speaker 3: And they found the guy.
Speaker 1: His name is Michael Howard, a forty eight year old
Speaker 1: bike shop owner, and he was arrested on January first,
Speaker 1: two thousand and two, Happy New Year, after the day
Speaker 1: after his last attack. And I don't know if they
Speaker 1: the police didn't actually find him. His brother, a probation officer,
Speaker 1: heard about this the hair bandit and immediately called the
Speaker 1: police and was like, I think this is my brother
Speaker 1: who had been plagued with drug problems.
Speaker 3: And the brother just was like I knew it was him.
Speaker 3: It was hard, but I like turned him in.
Speaker 1: So Howard was arrested in Norwalk, which I think is
Speaker 1: wild because it's same place as the eighty six guy.
Speaker 1: He was charged with ten felony counts, nine robberies which
Speaker 1: is the hair and one lude act against a minor
Speaker 1: because one of his victims was a twelve year old girl,
Speaker 1: so it's like he's also going for kind of like
Speaker 1: you know, nine, ten, eleven, twelve year old girls, he's
Speaker 1: also taking from women. I feel like it's the same dude.
Speaker 1: This guy tried to make a deal, Like they went
Speaker 1: back and forth. He finally took a deal for eight
Speaker 1: years in prison. So yeah, the hair bandit got eight years,
Speaker 1: and he's gonna get more of the time than did
Speaker 1: he Yeah, exactly. And I can't imagine prison was kind
Speaker 1: to a guy who's like in there for like hair cutting.
Speaker 1: I'm sure that people were like, oh, you're you're like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna hurt you.
Speaker 2: Now, like a violent crime. You know, like it is fucked.
Speaker 2: You can't just be cutting people's hair. But then what
Speaker 2: do you run off?
Speaker 1: Like yeah, but like it doesn't I mean it's the jerking,
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't cause like physical pain, I mean mentally,
Speaker 1: like obviously that's traumatic to have to have your haircut,
Speaker 1: but it's wild, Like, but you're right, he's probably getting
Speaker 1: more time than like several rapists we've covered on this show,
Speaker 1: like full on like predators. But the next case that
Speaker 1: we saw that I saw was You're smiling. She's smiling
Speaker 1: based on it's an old timey one. Okay, we don't
Speaker 1: know old timey very much, but and it's not even
Speaker 1: that old timey. It's it's like the eighteen nineties, okay. So,
Speaker 1: and I think it's loose. I think this is loose.
Speaker 1: It's kind of got a poisoning element, but it's not
Speaker 1: similar in any other way.
Speaker 3: But it's fun. I want to cover it. Okay.
Speaker 1: So, in eighteen ninety five, Cordelia Botkin was living in
Speaker 1: California and she was married to a guy named Welcome Botkin.
Speaker 1: His name is Welcome, like welcome back. And they've got
Speaker 1: a son, but he's grown. She married this guy when
Speaker 1: she was like seventeen or eighteen, and at this point
Speaker 1: she's like forty, she's a forty one.
Speaker 3: Okay, she's kind of bored.
Speaker 1: Her son has grown, her husband doesn't pay much attention
Speaker 1: to her, like they're still married. She does whatever the
Speaker 1: fuck she wants. She drinks, she carouses, she like lives
Speaker 1: her life. They live in I believe they live in Stockton,
Speaker 1: but she spends a lot of time in San Francisco
Speaker 1: kind of doing her own thing.
Speaker 3: And so one time in San Francisco.
Speaker 1: She meets John Preston Dunning and he is a fetorig
Speaker 1: war real name John Preston. Yeah wow, so mister her
Speaker 1: own mister big. Okay, she meets her own mister big.
Speaker 1: John Preston Dunning is a foreign war correspondent for the
Speaker 1: Associated Press who had returned to San Francisco to run
Speaker 1: their West Coast bureau. So this is not like a
Speaker 1: extra extra read all about it like journalists. This is
Speaker 1: like a he's a legit, like running a bureau.
Speaker 3: Of the AP. Okay.
Speaker 1: And he is not only a respected reporter, but a gambler,
Speaker 1: a drunk, and a notorious cheater and womanizer.
Speaker 3: Okay he is.
Speaker 1: He is mister big. Yeah, he's mister Big. So Cordelia,
Speaker 1: it's everything but the cigars we've got here. So Cordelia
Speaker 1: is forty one, Dunning is thirty two. They're both married,
Speaker 1: but he meets her and he's immediately obsessed.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: By eighteen ninety six they're having a full fledged affair.
Speaker 1: Dunning's wife is over it. She goes back to Delaware
Speaker 1: with her kid to live with her father, who's a
Speaker 1: former congressman.
Speaker 3: Okay, these are high level people. Cordelia and her husband.
Speaker 1: There's not like Cordelia is there. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I actually I know some I know a Cordelia.
Speaker 1: But Cordelia and her husband they're like a strange but
Speaker 1: like not really like he's supporting her financially. I don't
Speaker 1: think he gives a fuck what she's doing. Really Like,
Speaker 1: I think he realizes he's older, she's younger. He's in
Speaker 1: his late fifties by this point, I think, and he's like,
Speaker 1: she give me my son whatever. We had good times
Speaker 1: and she can just go do her thing. So he's
Speaker 1: supporting her financially. Dunning is, like I said, a drunk
Speaker 1: and a gambler. So he gets fired from his job
Speaker 1: at the AP for stealing four thousand dollars to pay
Speaker 1: off gambling debts, which you have to imagine in the
Speaker 1: eighteen nineties is like a lot of fucking money, right,
Speaker 1: four grand Other newspapers fire him for being a drunk,
Speaker 1: so he just keeps. So he ends up moving into
Speaker 1: Cordelia's hotel with her. By March of eighteen ninety eight,
Speaker 1: they've now been in this affair for two or three
Speaker 1: years now. Dunning gets re hired by the AP to
Speaker 1: report on the Spanish American War, and Cordelia takes him
Speaker 1: to the train station in Oakland to like bid him farewell,
Speaker 1: like they're in love. And it's there that he drops
Speaker 1: the bomb and he goes, oh, by the way, babe,
Speaker 1: I'm not coming back after the war. I'm getting back
Speaker 1: together with my wife and I'm going to live in Delaware. Bye,
Speaker 1: and like he wants to go back to his wife
Speaker 1: and daughter, and he just like that's the rams, that's
Speaker 1: the risk of Yes, yeah, you leave him how you
Speaker 1: found him, or you found him you you lose them
Speaker 1: how you found them, As they say in a lot
Speaker 1: of the Housewives, you lose them how you found them.
Speaker 1: Like if you started in an affair with someone and
Speaker 1: then they ended up getting with you, you know, chances
Speaker 1: are they're going to have an affair at some point again.
Speaker 3: So bye. H.
Speaker 1: Cordelia is of course distraught. She's upset that her lover
Speaker 1: has left her, and she goes full woman scorned.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: She starts sending letters to Dunning's wife, Mary Elizabeth Dunning,
Speaker 1: trolling her about these affairs that he's having, like making
Speaker 1: up women. Like in one of the letters, she wrote,
Speaker 1: your husband is quote constantly with this interesting and pretty woman, who,
Speaker 1: by the way, is an English woman. She is now
Speaker 1: divorcing from her husband, all owing to the market intimacy
Speaker 1: with mister Dunning end quote.
Speaker 3: So like she's like, you know, trolling writing these letters.
Speaker 1: Then on August ninth, eighteen ninety eight, Mary Elizabeth receives
Speaker 1: a package with a note. Inside is an elegant white
Speaker 1: box wrapped in pink satin ribbon, and the word Bombbonds
Speaker 1: is written in gold script on the box, and the
Speaker 1: note says, with love to yourself and baby missus C.
Speaker 3: Nobody talks about who missus C is.
Speaker 1: But this is what I'm reading everywhere is the is
Speaker 1: the inscription and apparently Elizabeth Mary Elizabeth is a big
Speaker 1: candy fan. Okay, So she eats three pieces of the candy.
Speaker 1: Her forty four year old sister Ida eats two pieces
Speaker 1: of the candy. They put the rest away to save
Speaker 1: for later. She immediately gets sick, so does her sister,
Speaker 1: and after two days of agonizing torture, they both die
Speaker 1: of arsenic poisoning. Okay, yeah, Mary Elizabeth's father, a former
Speaker 1: US congressman I mentioned he recognizes the handwriting on the
Speaker 1: note from the candy box. Looks familiar. They match it
Speaker 1: to these anonymous letters that she's been receiving, So whoever
Speaker 1: sent these letters has sent the candy. The news of
Speaker 1: the wife's death gets to Dunning, John Preston Dunning in
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico.
Speaker 3: He promptly catches a ship home.
Speaker 1: Reporters are waiting for him there and if anyone knows
Speaker 1: about getting a story, it's this guy. He admitted to
Speaker 1: having three affairs in San Francisco, but he felt like,
Speaker 1: deep down, Cordelia is the one that could have done this.
Speaker 1: Police found that the candy came from a shop in
Speaker 1: San Francisco, and that led them to Cordelia Bodkin at
Speaker 1: her home in San Francisco.
Speaker 3: She was living at this hotel. She had an apartment
Speaker 3: at the Hotel Victoria.
Speaker 1: They found paper string and a seal from the candy
Speaker 1: box that showed that she had basically, you know, cut
Speaker 1: off the string to open the box, put the arsenic
Speaker 1: in the chocolates, and then sealed it back up. And
Speaker 1: they found her at her husband's house in Stockton and
Speaker 1: the police asked her. She asked the police if she
Speaker 1: could please pack a trunk of clothes before going off
Speaker 1: to jail. And it was so heavy that two deputies
Speaker 1: had to carry it out. So this woman is wild. Okay,
Speaker 1: she got to prison, yeah, I guess so, yeah, she
Speaker 1: got to bring some clothes to jail. And this was
Speaker 1: the second murder by mail ever in American history, and
Speaker 1: it's the first American prosecution of a crime across jurisdictions
Speaker 1: like this because the poison was purchased and sent from
Speaker 1: California but ingested in Delaware. Wow. So she went to
Speaker 1: trial in eighteen ninety eight, she was convicted. She, of course,
Speaker 1: like any person with money, appealed, was retried, was convicted
Speaker 1: again in nineteen oh four, entrance to life, and she
Speaker 1: was sent to prison in San Francisco, But after the
Speaker 1: earthquake in nineteen oh six, she was moved to San
Speaker 1: Quentin and she died there in nineteen ten. Her lover,
Speaker 1: John Dunning, John Preston Dunning, his career was in ruins
Speaker 1: after all the details of the affair were revealed during
Speaker 1: the trial, and he died.
Speaker 3: In nineteen oh eight in Philadelphia. Dude, the thought of this.
Speaker 2: Like upper class rich woman in San Quentin is like wild, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: and like so.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like it's got rich people, it's got
Speaker 1: poison and that's kind of the only and candy. Oh well,
Speaker 1: well well mushroom, yeah, yeah, those are the toys. The
Speaker 1: ties to the mushroom A wet episode.
Speaker 2: But I don't know, something about like the old timiness
Speaker 2: of it does make it seem less real, where I'm
Speaker 2: like ooh, what I.
Speaker 1: Know, And also just like the trustingness of like getting
Speaker 1: random package of candy in the mail and going okay,
Speaker 1: yum yum and like eating it, you know, like yeah,
Speaker 1: like that's not a modern story.
Speaker 3: Like no, or it's like was she even like that?
Speaker 3: How was missus c.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Was it even a holiday?
Speaker 1: No? It was August, I mean a little pre labor
Speaker 1: day chocolate. I don't know, damn.
Speaker 3: But this is like, you know, there's old pictures of Cordelia,
Speaker 3: like bugshots of her, and like she's is she a hottie?
Speaker 1: She? Well, I wouldn't. I don't know. I wouldn't really
Speaker 1: say that, not the way that she is illustrated and
Speaker 1: also photographed.
Speaker 3: No, she doesn't come across as that.
Speaker 1: But I think that she was probably kind of like
Speaker 1: body and like and had like a sort of independence
Speaker 1: and like sexual freedom to her. That probably a lot
Speaker 1: of other women didn't have because their husbands were like
Speaker 1: weighing on them, and her husband was kind of like,
Speaker 1: do your thing, girl, I'll be in Stockton, like by
Speaker 1: you think he was gay? I don't know.
Speaker 3: They have the one son.
Speaker 4: He grew up.
Speaker 1: She was done being like a mom, and she was
Speaker 1: kind of like, all right, time for some affairs and
Speaker 1: some party in San Francisco.
Speaker 3: Wow, But like all the lawyers are like, you know, mustaches.
Speaker 3: Boy isn't the guy.
Speaker 1: I know? But it's like she probably thought, if she
Speaker 1: got rid of the wife somehow, what if my dads
Speaker 1: ate it, What if a bunch of what if they
Speaker 1: were being a dinner party?
Speaker 3: She could have murdered twelve people.
Speaker 1: I know. I think she probably wasn't thinking, and she
Speaker 1: was doing it through full jealousy, and she thought, if
Speaker 1: I can get rid of this woman, he'll come back
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just read this thing that she
Speaker 1: died in prison in nineteen ten, and the official cause
Speaker 1: of death is the most fucking old timey thing I've
Speaker 1: ever heard, softening of the brain due to melancholia. So
Speaker 1: her brain got soft because she was so sad about
Speaker 1: getting dumped becoming a murderer and then getting got and imprisoned,
Speaker 1: so that Melancholia just softened her little brain. Right up,
Speaker 1: damn nuts, and stay tuned, guys, because we have a
Speaker 1: jam packed guest. Than you ever take candy from a stranger.
Speaker 1: We have a jam pack guest. Don't go anywhere. We
Speaker 1: have a great guest. Our guest today. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited we got him. He is a beloved
Speaker 1: actor who's been part of our lives for over thirty years.
Speaker 1: You may know him from his early roles in iconic
Speaker 1: films like Adam's Family Values, The Ice Storm, The Santa
Speaker 1: Claus and Ten Things I Hate About You, Delta's most
Speaker 1: played movie. He also recently has been in movies like
Speaker 1: Oppenheimer and the series The Studio. But you know him
Speaker 1: best as our little mushroom man, doctor Vincent pro Chick.
Speaker 1: Please enjoy our chat with the hilarious David Crumholtz.
Speaker 2: This seems like a long time coming because we do
Speaker 2: this episode at our live shows. It's one of our mainstays.
Speaker 2: So we've talked about you a lot. I'm in a
Speaker 2: lot of different city just waiting for this moment.
Speaker 4: How do people react in different cities. Well, when you
Speaker 4: bring me up, well.
Speaker 1: This episode, will you specifically everybody? Yeah, everybody loves this episode.
Speaker 1: It's iconic, it's campy, it's glass. So I would saying
Speaker 1: I hate about you. Oh that's that's kind of that's
Speaker 1: our audience. So that gets people really riled up.
Speaker 3: Where did this? Like, I mean, your your career.
Speaker 1: Goes back so long, and like this feels like it
Speaker 1: kind of falls in between. Like you're doing the show
Speaker 1: Numbers and you're like a regular on Numbers and then
Speaker 1: you're but like you're popping into doing SVU, Like how
Speaker 1: did this come to you?
Speaker 4: This was after Numbers had ended? Okay, uh and not
Speaker 4: too soon after, but not you know, a good couple
Speaker 4: of years, I would guess. And uh, yeah I did
Speaker 4: not audition. Hell yeah, I'm a New York, New York,
Speaker 4: New York. So they came and got me, which is
Speaker 4: very nice of them. I had done an episode of
Speaker 4: the original Law in Order when I was fifteen years old.
Speaker 3: I don't remember were that young, dah yea. I was
Speaker 3: in nineteen eighty three.
Speaker 4: I look eight years old in it, but I'm fifteen
Speaker 4: cool and so then yeah, they came and got me
Speaker 4: and I said, without a doubt I would do it
Speaker 4: fun part, and you know, being part of that whole
Speaker 4: universe for a second time was really thrilling. The idea
Speaker 4: of that was really thrilling to me. Getting to work
Speaker 4: with marishka iced Tea, who's amazing, Chris uh just you know,
Speaker 4: you know, you just know that it's going to be
Speaker 4: a lot of fun. And that episode was really quirky
Speaker 4: and weird and kind of loved that it wasn't too
Speaker 4: dramatic or serious.
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, just one dead woman, so that's good.
Speaker 4: Just one dead old woman, one dead woman.
Speaker 1: And yeah, she's at the beginning and it's yeah, she's.
Speaker 3: Evil and she's trying to take water away from people.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And by the way, I did another episode fairly recently. Yeah,
Speaker 4: us for you, so they seem to like me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you note, like, did you notice any big
Speaker 1: differences from when you did it in like twenty ten
Speaker 1: versus doing it again in like twenty thirteen. I mean, now,
Speaker 1: obviously Christopher Maloney's gone, mart is kind of like the big.
Speaker 4: Well the law in order set. Their crew, that's the
Speaker 4: most well oiled crew ever. You know, they've been doing
Speaker 4: the show for what is it twenty seven, twenty eight
Speaker 4: years now? Almost?
Speaker 1: I mean six right now? Yeah, okay, but they're renewed
Speaker 1: for two more years or three years.
Speaker 4: It's just they they blink and make television, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean. Like it's so the days are lovely,
Speaker 4: the freedom. You just don't get that on any other
Speaker 4: crime procedural, any other broadcast network show. It's just show
Speaker 4: up and let's have fun with it. Because at this
Speaker 4: point they're well past the point, let's say, of jumping
Speaker 4: the shark or gilding the lily as a show. So
Speaker 4: they're very interested in finding like the juicy new They're
Speaker 4: always looking for, like, what's the new thing we can
Speaker 4: do to keep ourselves fascinated. You know, they really do
Speaker 4: make law and order for not only their adoring audience,
Speaker 4: but themselves. I think they think that, you know, and
Speaker 4: they have that's the right attitude, which is, if we're entertained,
Speaker 4: if we keep this interesting for ourselves, then our audience
Speaker 4: will will love it. And it seems to be working
Speaker 4: to the tune of two more seasons at least what
Speaker 4: I said, and.
Speaker 3: The longest running live action show on television.
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, yes, so I think ever right, yeah,
Speaker 4: live action.
Speaker 1: I think, who are they against Bonanza or something like
Speaker 1: back in the I don't think at times like yeah,
Speaker 1: olden times Bonanza. So wait, what happened? Like, so the
Speaker 1: second episode you did was in was it like it
Speaker 1: was last year? So did you like, at this point
Speaker 1: you're doing Oppenheimer, You're in all these like movies, but
Speaker 1: they come back to you for law and orders for
Speaker 1: you and you're like.
Speaker 3: I'm there for this second episode.
Speaker 4: Well, no doubt about it, regardless of what the situation was.
Speaker 4: But the situation was that I hadn't worked for nine
Speaker 4: straight months because of the sag actors.
Speaker 3: Right, Okay, I.
Speaker 4: Have two children, I have a dog and two cats.
Speaker 4: Now it's a no brainer. You don't say no to law. No,
Speaker 4: you just don't say no. Yeah, and if you do,
Speaker 4: you know who my precious. I mean, you know, I'm
Speaker 4: not like that. It's a New York staple. I get
Speaker 4: to work in New York, I get to play in
Speaker 4: New Yorker. It's you know, we shot in Queens. I'm
Speaker 4: from Queens. I mean it's a no brainer. Yeah, every time,
Speaker 4: it's a no brainer.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The people, the showrunners, the directors in that case was
Speaker 4: Norbit or Barbara just wonderful people.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: Did you ever live in LA or did you always
Speaker 3: New York?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I lived in LA for fifteen years.
Speaker 3: What made you go back?
Speaker 4: I wanted to establish some trace of humanity in myself,
Speaker 4: not find it. It had been stamped out. I needed
Speaker 4: to re establish. It was a rebirth when I moved
Speaker 4: back LA. Just and I we had our romantic period
Speaker 4: and it was very nice, it was, and then it
Speaker 4: got dark quick for me there and I yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: I got the heck out of Dodge Plus in the nineties.
Speaker 4: When I moved out to LA in the late nineties
Speaker 4: early two thousands, the only thing shooting in New York
Speaker 4: on a regular basis were the Lower Norman. Everything else
Speaker 4: had left town, you know, there was nothing, and so
Speaker 4: it made no sense to stay in New York. I
Speaker 4: needed to go pay my dues and get work in LA.
Speaker 4: But when I you know, fifteen years later, you know,
Speaker 4: with the tax credit, the work had returned in abundance
Speaker 4: to New York, and I thought, well, I need to
Speaker 4: go home, you know, be with my family, go home
Speaker 4: and raise my children here and yees.
Speaker 1: So I want to ask you, since you live in
Speaker 1: New Jersey. Do you have run ins with the Real
Speaker 1: Housewives of New Jersey ever?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Have you seen them out and about fighting at restaurants,
Speaker 1: flipping tables, throwing wine at each other's faces. They are
Speaker 1: one of the most out of pocket franchises.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I've only seen one of them out in the wild,
Speaker 4: and she's the normal one. Jakile.
Speaker 3: Oh, Kathy, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Kathya, whose husband is riotously funny. She owns she owns
Speaker 4: a pizza place, and I saw her there the other day.
Speaker 4: I once ran into Caroline Manzo now there now we're
Speaker 4: talking in the city at an industry party, and she
Speaker 4: was clear. She she had a look on her face
Speaker 4: of deep misery. Her life had been ruined by the show.
Speaker 4: It was clear. So I didn't approach her.
Speaker 3: But then she on her sister's husband.
Speaker 4: I don't know about that. And then I and then
Speaker 4: we met, uh who's the Gorgas Joe, And I was
Speaker 4: amazed by how tiny they are.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Joe's like five five two.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and she's like five feet yeah. Tiny, little you know,
Speaker 4: hobbit hobbiton hobbit type, you know, little Italian American hobbit.
Speaker 1: Wow, Oh my god, now did you know who they were?
Speaker 1: It's someone have to tell you. No.
Speaker 4: I watched that show. I watched the first three seasons,
Speaker 4: like religiously. It's the best Real Housewives of all of them.
Speaker 4: And I I love the New York one. I loved
Speaker 4: the Beverly Hills one. This is the other one life,
Speaker 4: but Real Housewives of New Jersey, come on, that's the
Speaker 4: best one.
Speaker 2: Well, I would say the Steaks are the highest because
Speaker 2: of them, the familial aspect, the darkness. But I would
Speaker 2: say in terms of comedy, New York just they get
Speaker 2: so drunk. I like New York, right, I.
Speaker 4: Like New York too. But the thing is, here's why
Speaker 4: I like New Jersey. And this is true of New Jersey.
Speaker 4: Very little irony.
Speaker 1: Oh you can't do it, Metapore they take it for.
Speaker 4: Which is weird because New York is like Irony Central
Speaker 4: and just you know, ten miles away, you're you know,
Speaker 4: there's no And so that show works on a sort
Speaker 4: of meta level of understanding that woll these people are
Speaker 4: shockingly real people.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well this last season, I know you've been out
Speaker 2: of the game for a while. But the biggest controversy
Speaker 2: was someone called someone else's slob.
Speaker 3: And it costs chaos, and we're like, that doesn't even
Speaker 3: seem like that bad.
Speaker 4: Oh I'm a slot. Let me tell you about your
Speaker 4: slob husband.
Speaker 1: And my family.
Speaker 3: Oh well, where I grew up. Slob didn't mean anything
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: Like it's oh then too, because I don't mean to
Speaker 1: be insulting them in any way, but they're not aspirational
Speaker 1: to me. Like the Beverly Hills, New York. They've got
Speaker 1: some gorgeous houses, apartments, cars. The people in New Jersey,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to live in one of
Speaker 1: these architectural nightmares where there's too many pointed columns.
Speaker 3: But you know, and the pools are not.
Speaker 1: But like, you know, I'm not so I'm able since
Speaker 1: I'm not like really jealous of the marble columns or
Speaker 1: the you know, granted, like the marble countertops.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I can just folk on the behavior.
Speaker 1: And the interactions, you know, I can really focus.
Speaker 3: In on them and who they are.
Speaker 4: No, the truth is they've they've made it in their
Speaker 4: opinions to the highest level they can, and so they're
Speaker 4: then they have it's a pain in the ass for
Speaker 4: them to have to deal with the rest of their lives,
Speaker 4: specifically their family members, including each other. Right, they're not
Speaker 4: dealing with Oh I didn't get that business deal or
Speaker 4: I wish i'd you know, met that you know important person. No,
Speaker 4: they're really mired in. Don't you dare come near me?
Speaker 3: You've disrespected me. Everything is like you disrespected palace.
Speaker 4: Right, you walk into this palace, You've better be on
Speaker 4: your best behavior. Bitch. You know it's that.
Speaker 1: Have you not been on Watch What Happens Live? No?
Speaker 3: I just googled it.
Speaker 4: No, No, I've not been on anything.
Speaker 3: That's great.
Speaker 4: It's amazing that you.
Speaker 1: I think if they knew that you liked if they
Speaker 1: knew that you liked Bravo, they'd have you.
Speaker 3: I think they like to have straight men on who
Speaker 3: like the shows. I'm not making a I'm trying.
Speaker 1: Not trying to make a qualification about your sexual mind.
Speaker 4: Carot My uh following if I have a following event
Speaker 4: is such a deep sub subculture. I am truly iconic,
Speaker 4: if anything, for being invisible. No one gives a shit
Speaker 4: what I have to say. And when I'm on talk shows,
Speaker 4: people are like, why am I being subjected to a
Speaker 4: complete nobody? Like when I you know what I inspire
Speaker 4: when people have I inspire total non talents to be like, oh,
Speaker 4: this guy can be on a talk.
Speaker 1: That's so insane because you're in like though Oscar winning movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just in the Oscar winning movie.
Speaker 1: You're in this new Jeremy Allen White Springsteen biopic that
Speaker 1: everyone's freaking wet in their pants over like you're you.
Speaker 1: Your IMDb is extensive, which I want to get into
Speaker 1: first of all.
Speaker 4: I'm also but the thing is that everybody has to
Speaker 4: understand is this uh and you'll find this this will
Speaker 4: be your lowest rated as no doubt about the name.
Speaker 4: Now here's what I've come to learn. The name crumb holds.
Speaker 4: The name crumb Holds is so jarring to people because
Speaker 4: they read it and they go, how could any celebrity
Speaker 4: or any one of any notoriety keep the name crumb holds.
Speaker 4: This can't be a famous person. This is some random
Speaker 4: PA that worked on the show for two episodes. You know,
Speaker 4: Like the name crumb Holds schisms people's brain. I know
Speaker 4: it does with mine. Actually, a few weeks ago, I'm
Speaker 4: not kidding. I had a very serious conversation this late
Speaker 4: into my career, and I mean dead serious with my
Speaker 4: representation about changing my name to David Crumb because I
Speaker 4: was like, I think it'll be like cuter and it
Speaker 4: has more succinct, and it has a ring, it has
Speaker 4: a thing to it. David Crumb. Dave Crumb and my
Speaker 4: agents were like, do.
Speaker 1: Not do that. Don't do that. You have one hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty two IMDb credits with six you wanted like
Speaker 1: the Parenthesy Crumb holds.
Speaker 4: You know, well maybe, But I thought to myself, you
Speaker 4: know they're wrong. I'm going rogue. And I went so
Speaker 4: far as to reach out to SAG and ask them
Speaker 4: if I can do it, and they said yes, and
Speaker 4: that scared me. Oh god, I'm not doing it, but
Speaker 4: you'll see my Instagram. So that day it was I'm
Speaker 4: very compulsive, impulsive, compulsive, And that day I changed my
Speaker 4: Instagram name to David Crumb and I've been trying to
Speaker 4: change it back and it won't.
Speaker 2: I'm still at Oh, if this is recently, I'll tell
Speaker 2: you what it's. It's a thirty day thing if you're verified.
Speaker 2: So I started because I know who just changed it
Speaker 2: as a fluke his name to Cia and now he
Speaker 2: can't change it back to thirty for thirty.
Speaker 4: That's terrible. I'm going to try to do it right
Speaker 4: now because I've been trying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're David Crumb on there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm David.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm suching my connect at Watch What Happens Live?
Speaker 4: Thanks?
Speaker 3: Can we ask you though?
Speaker 1: Like, so, your career, according to Wikipedia, was and I
Speaker 1: know that's not always correct, was kicked off when you
Speaker 1: just went to like an open audition when you were thirteen,
Speaker 1: and that's how you just jumped into this long career
Speaker 1: of child acting and into adult acting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's super weird that such a it's very I see,
Speaker 4: it is very sort of uh divine in a way.
Speaker 4: Not I'm not joking, like somebody saved my life, you know,
Speaker 4: some spirit.
Speaker 3: It was meant to be because I.
Speaker 4: Would have been a trash heap of a human being
Speaker 4: had I not become an actor. So so, yes, that happened.
Speaker 4: I got crazy, which is hard only when people ask
Speaker 4: me like how do you get into the business? How'd
Speaker 4: you get in? And I'm always like, my story literally apply,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you're after you did this play on Broadway.
Speaker 1: You the first movie you made, I think is called
Speaker 1: Life with Mikey which my uncle is in. So I've
Speaker 1: seen it a thousand times that I love. And you
Speaker 1: were like a little child star in the movie. But
Speaker 1: it's like your first movie you ever made, right, are
Speaker 1: you like a little child star?
Speaker 4: Yes? I play an obnoxious Yeah.
Speaker 3: So what typical came to set with you.
Speaker 1: On that one?
Speaker 3: And how did they behave throughout your childhood on sets?
Speaker 4: Oh? Okay, my my my mother. It was mostly my mother.
Speaker 4: Once in a while my dad would come. My mother.
Speaker 4: Uh what a questions?
Speaker 3: Oh, we love child actor stuff.
Speaker 4: I gotta be careful. My mother liked being the center
Speaker 4: of attention herself. Aw, and my mother has is one
Speaker 4: of these. She's a New Yorker but born and hungry,
Speaker 4: and she has a very She doesn't mince her words,
Speaker 4: and so she likes to sort of be the you know,
Speaker 4: cursing mom, the nasty cursing mom. She was lovely and
Speaker 4: she's a lot of fun, but she tells it like
Speaker 4: it is, and so she would come to the set
Speaker 4: and embarrass me to no end daily, but in the
Speaker 4: most loving, funny way. But it was the kind of
Speaker 4: thing like one time she was talking, I remember I
Speaker 4: did a TV show, my first TV show, I did,
Speaker 4: and Henry Winkler played my father, and we were sitting
Speaker 4: at lunch one day and she said something in Henry
Speaker 4: Winkler that deeply embarrassed me, and I kicked her under
Speaker 4: the table, not hard, but I gave her like a
Speaker 4: kick in the leg under the table, and she went,
Speaker 4: what are you kicking me for? He's kicking me under
Speaker 4: the table. You know, she's that kind of mom. And
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't tell people I'm kicking. But she
Speaker 4: had a lot of fun. She was fun, and she
Speaker 4: had a lot of fun, and we travel together, and
Speaker 4: you know, she was she was great. And my dad
Speaker 4: would come and you know, being on a set when
Speaker 4: you really just visiting is crazy boring. And my dad
Speaker 4: was kind of on a lot of high blood pressure
Speaker 4: medication and so which rendered him somewhat narcoleptic, and he
Speaker 4: would fall asleep a lot and snore. And so there
Speaker 4: were times I remember where I'd be on set filming
Speaker 4: in the middle of a take and the set sound
Speaker 4: guy would be like, we have to hold because someone
Speaker 4: is snoring on set, and it would.
Speaker 1: Always be yeah, oh my god, But like your IMDb
Speaker 1: is so wild. It's like this life with Mikey movie,
Speaker 1: which important to me and maybe no one else. Law
Speaker 1: and Order immediately, Adam's family values iconic. Then the Santa
Speaker 1: Claus you looks like your fourth professional credit is like
Speaker 1: this character that sort of established you. Then I got
Speaker 1: to ask you later, you do the Ice Storm filmed
Speaker 1: in my town? Filmed in my hometown. It completely shook
Speaker 1: our whole town. We all went to go watch scenes
Speaker 1: be shot. It was like, were you in New Canaan,
Speaker 1: Connecticut shooting any of that? Or were you in the
Speaker 1: scenes that.
Speaker 3: Were all in Manhattan.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was in the scenes.
Speaker 1: All this, all the repressed suburban shit was in my hometown.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I saw Christina Ricci. I almost died.
Speaker 1: It was like we were we were having heart attacks.
Speaker 1: But that was like your thing, out of the kid,
Speaker 1: out of the kid world you were moving into more adults.
Speaker 3: Were incredible, Like as a kid.
Speaker 4: Or are you like, oh my god, truthfully, you want
Speaker 4: to know the truth. That's a good question. So first off,
Speaker 4: I thought, oh, this is what it's what it is
Speaker 4: to be an actor. You just worked constant Yeah, right,
Speaker 4: I had been discovered off the street, so I didn't
Speaker 4: know anything, but you know, consistent success for the first
Speaker 4: four years, and I thought, oh, that's what it's going
Speaker 4: to be. And then you know, I remember when I
Speaker 4: was seventeen, I had like a good nine months of
Speaker 4: unemployment and it really was the moment where I decided
Speaker 4: to become an actor. I'd never really decided. I just
Speaker 4: got lucky, so suddenly I had to be like, is
Speaker 4: this what I want to do? Where it's where this
Speaker 4: huge rollercoaster that has its ups and downs, And so
Speaker 4: that was a tough moment. Did I think I was
Speaker 4: awesome too much?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 4: Yes, And I remember, yes, I had a massive ego
Speaker 4: about my acting when I was young, because I went
Speaker 4: from being literally not even wanting to be an actor
Speaker 4: to suddenly being a consistently working actor in movies. And
Speaker 4: you know, I grew up worshiping movies, so suddenly I
Speaker 4: was in them and it was just mind blowing. At
Speaker 4: the same time, I understood how lucky I was, so that,
Speaker 4: thank God tempered my ego a bit. And my mom,
Speaker 4: to her great credit, would always say, this is a fluke,
Speaker 4: this is a fluke, this is a fluke. You're you
Speaker 4: don't understand how lucky you were. And thank God, because
Speaker 4: she was worried I would get a massive ego, And yeah,
Speaker 4: I would say until I was about this is just true.
Speaker 4: Until I was about twenty three, I thought, not only
Speaker 4: am I the greatest actor that ever lived, but I'm
Speaker 4: the greatest that will ever live. I mean, you know,
Speaker 4: I was twenty three.
Speaker 3: Do you remember the shift?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I did a couple of failed multiicam sitcoms. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and those will really bring it down earth, because you know,
Speaker 4: you're you're you're slinging not so great jokes that you
Speaker 4: didn't write to a live audience that isn't laughing. I
Speaker 4: mean that's kind of like that's when you realize, oh,
Speaker 4: to some extent, I'm a puppet and you know, like
Speaker 4: you know, I'm just a jobbing actor, feather in the wind.
Speaker 4: And for a while I didn't like that very much,
Speaker 4: but now I love it now. Now it's and I
Speaker 4: do it with great humility and gratitude now because because
Speaker 4: you know, I have to deal with myself at the
Speaker 4: end of the day, right, and I have to come
Speaker 4: home and keep myself to a certain standard, both as
Speaker 4: an actor and as a dad and as a human being.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, yeah, do you have one before
Speaker 2: I bring up ten things I hate about you. No,
Speaker 2: go ahead, Well, I mean that's like I watch that
Speaker 2: on most of my Delta flights. I would say I
Speaker 2: watched that a few times a year. I'm like, I
Speaker 2: love that movie. It's stood the test of time, and
Speaker 2: it's a classic that like people just love it. Never
Speaker 2: never went away, such iconic scenes.
Speaker 1: It was so good.
Speaker 3: Do you have memories that were positive?
Speaker 4: I'd imagine that it's the most watched Delta flight movie ever.
Speaker 4: It's the first one if there were Delta flight ratings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the.
Speaker 3: First thing that pops up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, right, because it's a number. Well eight mile, but.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not watching eight mile in the skies.
Speaker 4: But no, it would be the first thing because it's
Speaker 4: one zero. I don't know how that works. But can
Speaker 4: numbers go in number order? I don't know how it works.
Speaker 4: But anyway, I have so many positive stories. That was
Speaker 4: just the blast of all time. You know, the the
Speaker 4: movie surpassed every one of our expectation expectations. The fact
Speaker 4: that it became as popular as it is now, you know,
Speaker 4: to this day, is really wild. I think for all
Speaker 4: of us, we didn't know we were making something that
Speaker 4: would stand the test time and really mean a lot
Speaker 4: to people. And it's a reflection, I believe, a reflection
Speaker 4: of how much we all truly loved making the movie
Speaker 4: with one another. We all loved each other very much,
Speaker 4: and I think you can see that we're having fun
Speaker 4: with each other on screen. You can see it. And
Speaker 4: I think that's what people love most about it is,
Speaker 4: you know, because I know when I watch a movie,
Speaker 4: I imagine what it's like on that set, what it
Speaker 4: might have been like. And I think people do that
Speaker 4: when they watch movies. Is they're able to separate the
Speaker 4: fantasy from the reality and go, what do these actors
Speaker 4: talk about in between takes? And you can just tell
Speaker 4: we all loved each other, And it was very true
Speaker 4: just that set was all smiles all the way through.
Speaker 4: We just as people through and through that entire cast
Speaker 4: had amazing chemistry as people. We just loved each other
Speaker 4: from moment one. We spoke the same language, all of us.
Speaker 3: So that's awesome.
Speaker 2: No, someone recently, you know, one of my dreams is
Speaker 2: to go to the Vanity Fair Oscar party mine too.
Speaker 4: By the way, they don't I don't get in last.
Speaker 1: Year when you won.
Speaker 4: That was two years ago, but two years, two years, no,
Speaker 4: I did not and they don't listen. They don't like me, okay, nobody,
Speaker 4: the industry, the industry, you know what it is. And
Speaker 4: I've come to realize I'm poor form. I am poor form.
Speaker 4: I make other actors look bad because I'm so unbelievably
Speaker 4: amazing and uh and so I'm an embarrassment. Uh I am,
Speaker 4: I'm just an embarrassing. I should not have been let in,
Speaker 4: you know, I am, I am? I am the the
Speaker 4: the the what what what?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 4: What would I compare myself to? You know, I must,
Speaker 4: I must.
Speaker 2: I bet you're a type though. I bet when you
Speaker 2: get auditions it's like Dave Cumholt.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah right, oh yeah, no, they want to be me.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're you wouldn't keep working if they if
Speaker 1: they really hated you and wanted you gone, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: be working so much.
Speaker 4: You work, of course, I'm kidding. Yeah, No, I don't
Speaker 4: embarrass other actors. I'm embarrassed of myself most of the time.
Speaker 4: But no, uh yeah, yeah, I don't get invited to
Speaker 4: I haven't been invited to ship. They don't want I'm
Speaker 4: like bummy. They see me and they go you know
Speaker 4: who let the Dog Out?
Speaker 2: But well, the reason I brought it up is because
Speaker 2: someone was like, and I brought up a Lissa Oax
Speaker 2: prom outfit from that movie, Like, that's still my one
Speaker 2: of my dream outfits.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I would wear the Shakespeare outfit I wore
Speaker 4: in that movie, but no, you know what it is. Also,
Speaker 4: then you'd.
Speaker 3: Really never get invited again.
Speaker 4: I've given up on that dream.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean, but don't you feel it's like,
Speaker 3: but you're you know, you're in I.
Speaker 4: Would love to be invited. Yeah, but I also am
Speaker 4: credibly awkward at those kinds of things, and you know,
Speaker 4: but but you know, it's also absurd and it's really
Speaker 4: not why I do what I do. And but that said,
Speaker 4: is there a sting to not being invited when you're
Speaker 4: in the movie that won the Academy for Best Yeah,
Speaker 4: there's a real sting to that, you know. But as
Speaker 4: you can imagine, because I'm still talking about it. You
Speaker 4: asked me the question twenty five minutes ago, and I'm
Speaker 4: still I'm trying to say something. And what I'm trying
Speaker 4: to say is I come off, here's the problem. You
Speaker 4: want to know the truth. I don't only look like
Speaker 4: an agent's assistant. But I have an agent's assistants personality.
Speaker 1: And so.
Speaker 4: What they don't need is yet another agent's assistant at
Speaker 4: the Vanity Fair Oscars part.
Speaker 1: If an agent assistant got invited and not you, that
Speaker 1: makes all of it worse.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm sure you think there's assistance in there.
Speaker 4: One.
Speaker 1: There's definitely some riff raft padding out those parties for sure.
Speaker 3: Not that I thought the Vanity Fair was more tight
Speaker 3: on that.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, absolutely. And here's the problem. Whenever I am invited,
Speaker 4: this is dead true, by the way, whenever I am
Speaker 4: invited to these kinds of big parties, and you know,
Speaker 4: every once in a while, you know, uh, you know,
Speaker 4: they give it the they give the dog a bone.
Speaker 4: I uh, I do feel like many of the people
Speaker 4: that are there who aren't familiar with my work readily
Speaker 4: assume that I am an agent's assistant.
Speaker 1: No, they definitely think age.
Speaker 4: I've aged. I've aged, but not a good one. There
Speaker 4: have been moments I was just saying, where I've had
Speaker 4: to tell actors that I'm an actor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I would read.
Speaker 1: A lot of moment. Yeah, I just can't believe nobody
Speaker 1: that's like remotely around our age doesn't know you from
Speaker 1: something that you've been in because you're just in all
Speaker 1: these seminal movies from our like anyone that's like from
Speaker 1: mid thirties to mid forties.
Speaker 4: I feel, you know, I don't get it either, but
Speaker 4: I think it's more of they do know, but they
Speaker 4: choose to forget.
Speaker 3: They've blocked it out.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 1: Do you have any like other memories of like being
Speaker 1: on set at SVU like that our listeners would appreciate,
Speaker 1: like little tidbits, something funny that happened with Iced Tea,
Speaker 1: a little a little LOL moment with Marishka or Chris Maloney.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know something that our.
Speaker 4: Well, Ice, I'll just say, Ice Teas are riot. Yeah,
Speaker 4: he's brilliant. And he told me the funniest Hollywood joke,
Speaker 4: or one of the funnier, more brilliant Hollywood jokes I've
Speaker 4: ever heard. Do you want to hear it? Okay, I'm
Speaker 4: paying it forward, Ice Tee uh he Okay. So a
Speaker 4: world famous legendary film director suddenly dies, goes to heaven,
Speaker 4: meets Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter says,
Speaker 4: we are so happy to see you, and the director says, well,
Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not happy to be here. I don't
Speaker 4: I didn't want to die, you know, I died suddenly,
Speaker 4: and Saint Peter goes, we know, we know. But here's
Speaker 4: the deal. God has chosen you to direct the first
Speaker 4: movie made in Heaven. And the director is like, what, no,
Speaker 4: I don't know what. I don't want to know. I
Speaker 4: don't want to do that, and Saint Peter goes, well,
Speaker 4: hear me out, hear me out. It's written by William Shakespeare,
Speaker 4: Production design Michaelangelo. Okay, okay, it is. You have your
Speaker 4: choice of male lead Sydney Poidier, Marlon Brando or you know,
Speaker 4: Laurence Oliviy and the guy you know. The director thinks
Speaker 4: about it. He goes, holy, wow, William Shakespeare my Clangeloin, yeah,
Speaker 4: randol Wow. He goes, well, who's playing the female league?
Speaker 4: And Saint Peter says, well, God has a girlfriend. That's
Speaker 4: the joke. It's a great joke. Told me that joke,
Speaker 4: just not a joke you'd expect from from iced Tea.
Speaker 4: You know, a a rapper or a gangster.
Speaker 3: Is a girlfriend. He's trying to get her in.
Speaker 4: You get it. It's a misogynt. It's a joke about misogyny.
Speaker 4: I shouldn't make jokes. Yeah, this is this is the
Speaker 4: interview that ruins mind.
Speaker 3: No, this is great. We love this. I love that
Speaker 3: Icy gave you that.
Speaker 1: He We've heard so many great Ice cold facts that
Speaker 1: he's given different actors over the over the years, and
Speaker 1: he sees it and I just.
Speaker 4: Want to say, going back, I would have been an
Speaker 4: amazing agent. And my agents also agree, Yeah, they I
Speaker 4: would have been in a I should have been an age.
Speaker 1: Are you playing an agent in?
Speaker 3: Are you playing an agent in the studio?
Speaker 4: The Studio?
Speaker 3: Which is so good and funny.
Speaker 4: It was the role I was born. Yeah, because it's
Speaker 4: what I should be doing with my life.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm certainly happy that you were in all of
Speaker 1: these movies that I've watched my entire life. And like,
Speaker 1: I mean, so many more coming up. You have so
Speaker 1: many like people about upcoming projects. But you've got this
Speaker 1: Springsteen thing that's like, you know, everyone's talking about, and
Speaker 1: then there's any other anything else upcoming. Oh wait, you
Speaker 1: were in Miracle on seventy fourth Street. My friend Carol
Speaker 1: and Sean wrote that and I think you know produced it.
Speaker 1: Carol Hartzell.
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, they're wonderful.
Speaker 1: I know that's from stand up in New York and
Speaker 1: stuff and that I've been well, I don't know when
Speaker 1: that's coming out, but maybe this Christmas.
Speaker 4: Oh cool, that'd be amazing, right because it's holiday. I
Speaker 4: know nothing. Yeah, I don't know. It is a holiday. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: But that's funny.
Speaker 1: I just saw that in your upcoming anything else you
Speaker 1: want to plug, Well, you got.
Speaker 4: The super Girl and you got this one and that one.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I I I don't. I don't know because
Speaker 4: you know, I don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I'm yeah, okay, great, great on Insta.
Speaker 4: This will not be aired anywhere, correct, this is this is.
Speaker 3: Only an No one's going to see your face.
Speaker 4: See. This is where I'm in trouble. This is bad
Speaker 4: for me, and I'll tell you why because the voice
Speaker 4: and what I say will come off as real in
Speaker 4: terms of the ego stuff. But no one will see
Speaker 4: how ashamed. No one will see the shame in my
Speaker 4: eyes that you are witnessed to at this moment.
Speaker 3: No, but listen, this has been wonderful. It's like, thank
Speaker 3: you so much for talking to us.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the Real Housewives of New Jersey tea
Speaker 1: and this so exciting and we were so happy.
Speaker 4: It was the journey that I didn't expect.
Speaker 1: I didn't have a journey, a career, reference everything, everything.
Speaker 4: Y'all are awesome, y'all are wonderful.
Speaker 2: I would say this is one of our best episodes ever.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it. I feel you got to do
Speaker 2: your incredible voice work.
Speaker 3: And we had to talk.
Speaker 2: He was so funny. He was like so kind of
Speaker 2: self deprecating but self away, like I don't know. It
Speaker 2: was just really like such a silly good time. And
Speaker 2: his stories. I mean, the way he talked about ten
Speaker 2: things I hate about you just makes my heart like her,
Speaker 2: like I don't know, just of course thinking about Heath Ledger,
Speaker 2: you know, but yeah, then they're all like pals. But
Speaker 2: I was telling people because I was so excited, and
Speaker 2: I was like, David Cromwolds was on today, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: we talked to today.
Speaker 3: It was so amazing.
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people don't know him by name,
Speaker 2: and then as soon as you show the face, everyone said,
Speaker 2: Santa Claus, this is a I haven't seen. I mean,
Speaker 2: everyone remembers him from Santa Claus, it was I didn't
Speaker 2: really yeah, huh. I mean for me, it's like I
Speaker 2: can't even pick a thing. I'm like, he's in so
Speaker 2: many things, you know, like yeah, in this weird show
Speaker 2: about the old woman. I mean yeah, he's like a
Speaker 2: part of yeah, my life for sure. But you know,
Speaker 2: not everyone's as psycho as us. Like some people are
Speaker 2: just more known by a face than a name. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I don't think you'd mind. Yeah, And I don't
Speaker 2: think he should change his name. I think he should
Speaker 2: keep it.
Speaker 3: It looks good. I think it's good. Yeah, No, do
Speaker 3: not become crumb.
Speaker 2: I mean I just really enjoyed it and it made
Speaker 2: a I'm always happy to do the pod, but sometimes
Speaker 2: you just we wanted to do this episode and talk
Speaker 2: to him for so.
Speaker 1: Long that it was it just felt really good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And he's like just like a funny It's it's nice
Speaker 1: to meet somebody who's been acting since they were like fourteen,
Speaker 1: but is like still very down to earth and like
Speaker 1: self deprecating and like funny. He's like not like on
Speaker 1: some shit like he's more important than other people and
Speaker 1: like not that we talk to a lot of people
Speaker 1: like that, but he's just like, uh no, I don't.
Speaker 3: Think they would do the podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just feel like we can hang out with
Speaker 1: him at a party and he would be fun, you know,
Speaker 1: like I could have talked to him for like truly
Speaker 1: another hour. I know we say that all the time,
Speaker 1: but I really mean it with him. But this episode,
Speaker 1: we I mean, it's so great. We start out with
Speaker 1: a CSU tech who cannot fucking who has who has
Speaker 1: no kouth, and we end up with a grandmother callously
Speaker 1: taking back her ententaglia necklace. I mean this episode, and
Speaker 1: in the middle we just have Benson Benson having a
Speaker 1: mushroom attack and Stabler feigning a mushroom attack. I don't
Speaker 1: know what our post mortem takeaways are, keep your don't
Speaker 1: breathe in deeply when you're around a pot in some
Speaker 1: mushroom man's thing.
Speaker 2: Well, and that men are rapist even if it's consensual,
Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, that dude up
Speaker 2: top was like she wanted it, and it's like she
Speaker 2: looks like an alien and you could tell she's under
Speaker 2: the influence, Like, yeah, you fucked her in a fountain
Speaker 2: and you still left her to drown and die in there,
Speaker 2: Like right, the fact that that's not criminal at all
Speaker 2: and it's totally fine and he gets to leave, but
Speaker 2: truly disgusting, Like the bar for legality is so hot,
Speaker 2: like you could, Yeah, she clearly is under the influence.
Speaker 1: And then it took us down like a road of
Speaker 1: that intelligence he left, ye, this pond while negligence. Then
Speaker 1: we go to a road of sugary sodas. We go
Speaker 1: down that road, the road of sugary of like two
Speaker 1: sugary sodas, and then we're back. So now we're talking
Speaker 1: about corporate greed and then it's like but really, in
Speaker 1: the end, it's just like a poor girl who lost
Speaker 1: her mom and is looking for family in a mean
Speaker 1: old lady. And I guess takeaway should be quit looking
Speaker 1: for find your family outside of your family sometimes, because
Speaker 1: that woman was a mean old bitch and she was
Speaker 1: never gonna You were never gonna be what she like.
Speaker 3: You know, you're never gonna be Lindsay. Lindsay was a.
Speaker 1: Ex speedhead too, Yeah yeah, so yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: She just seemed like she was never willing to give
Speaker 1: Emma a chance on that was flirting.
Speaker 2: I like that, iced t Na Michael, both as their
Speaker 2: characters wanted a fuck Paula Patten so bad.
Speaker 3: And there was full flirting like there was. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It was a good one.
Speaker 1: It's a good episode and I know we've done it
Speaker 1: on the road, so hopefully if you've seen us do
Speaker 1: it on the road, you enjoyed our recap with the
Speaker 1: David Crumholtz chaser.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm on the IMDb for we and the main
Speaker 2: photo from it is the Kouchi Ku medical examiner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that woman hits her face kind of like they
Speaker 1: never have her back. I think they're like, this is
Speaker 1: too stucky adjacent, like we can't.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah it was, but also obviously reminds me of
Speaker 2: the New Dexter is like so good. I'm like, I
Speaker 2: don't know if I'm i don't know if I'm just
Speaker 2: such a big fan that I'm like delusional.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not good, but I love it. I'm LoVa, Wait,
Speaker 1: what do you mean what do you mean by the
Speaker 1: New Dexter? Is this the the Is this a new
Speaker 1: season of the prequel show? Where the prequel? So that's
Speaker 1: what's crazy.
Speaker 2: So Dexter original eight seasons, then it came back with
Speaker 2: New Blood. It was, which I liked, Yeah, which I
Speaker 2: really liked then. It was this prequel that I didn't want.
Speaker 2: I've tried watching, I'll watch it on you, but I
Speaker 2: didn't like it.
Speaker 3: This is a continuation of New Blood and it's called Resurrection.
Speaker 1: Oh. No, one told me that was happening. Oh, Kara,
Speaker 1: it's in New York City. Oh, I'm excited. And can
Speaker 1: I tell you the cast? Yes, Uma Thurman's in it,
Speaker 1: cam from Modern Family is in it, Kristin Ritters in it,
Speaker 1: Neil Patrick Harris is in it, and Tyrian Lanister, what
Speaker 1: the fun? Peter Dinklic is in it? Oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: Derek for Musa Guests of Our Pot and Dominic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh Dominic. I knew it was wrong. I kept
Speaker 3: telling people. I'm like Derek from I knew something was up. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Dominic for Musa.
Speaker 2: But it's Dexter, It's Harrison Bautista's in it, and it's
Speaker 2: York City.
Speaker 3: Is Dexter the ghost?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: No, it's it was in a coma. They just kept
Speaker 1: the coma. It's fine. I don't care, Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. No,
Speaker 1: I'm fine with it. He woke up from a coma.
Speaker 1: He's not really dead. It's whatever. It's far fetched. I
Speaker 1: don't get so I don't care. It's fine if Michael C.
Speaker 1: Hall was down to do it again, like, that's fine.
Speaker 1: And who's our former guests that I met on a flight?
Speaker 1: Who's married to Game of Thrown, Mark Machaka, he's also
Speaker 1: in it? Okay, our buddy Mark, friend of the pod,
Speaker 1: two friends of the Pod.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really awesome. I think they're on only four
Speaker 2: episodes so far, four or five episodes?
Speaker 3: Wait?
Speaker 1: Shit, did you have to get the showtime add on
Speaker 1: to Waking.
Speaker 2: Well, it's not showtim anymore. It's Paramount plus. But I
Speaker 2: have the Paramount Plus. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I know we haven't even talked about Colbert south Park.
Speaker 3: Thank god.
Speaker 2: Well if people are like my friends be like, how
Speaker 2: do you watch the South Park? I go, well, I
Speaker 2: have Paramount plus so unfortunately, well I do want to
Speaker 2: cancel it.
Speaker 3: Fuck yeah, Colbert whatever, but like I'm watching Dexter in
Speaker 3: south Park.
Speaker 1: Sorry, guys, I had already canceled mine because I was
Speaker 1: done with Yellow Jackets, which we have to review another time.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if we've talked about it, right,
Speaker 1: but I thought it was better than this, you know what.
Speaker 1: I was reading.
Speaker 2: What Vulture said is like they had to make like
Speaker 2: they had everything planned and then Juliet Lewis wanted to leave,
Speaker 2: So it's like we really, like I want they had
Speaker 2: to re purpose everything.
Speaker 3: They get it back on track, and I do feel
Speaker 3: like they got it back on track. I do, Am
Speaker 3: I wrong? You don't feel that way?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I.
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 1: I like where things were going in the wilderness, but
Speaker 1: I still think what's happening in real life is fucking
Speaker 1: off the like wild and like not justified all the time.
Speaker 1: But we we should talk about this. Maybe this is
Speaker 1: a tease. Maybe this is another tease for the next intro.
Speaker 3: Listen. We can't. We just can't. This can't be a
Speaker 3: six hour episode.
Speaker 1: But uh, I'm going to totally I don't know what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do about getting Paramount plus back now so
Speaker 1: that I can watch this dexter.
Speaker 3: I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out.
Speaker 2: Well, you don't have to do fully, you could just
Speaker 2: add an extension on Amazon for the month, like wait
Speaker 2: till that's.
Speaker 3: What I did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I did with my Paramount Because South
Speaker 2: Park's only going to be I think ten episodes too.
Speaker 2: So it's like, that's ten and then Dexter will probably
Speaker 2: be ten. Yeah, Uma, Thurman, that's that's a list that's
Speaker 2: pretty killer. Yeah yeah, not to be make a pun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't even mean to do that, but okay,
Speaker 1: let's move on to our what would Sister Peg Do?
Speaker 1: And you guys know that What would Mister Peg Do
Speaker 1: is our weekly segment where we direct you towards like
Speaker 1: usually a resource like a book or an article or
Speaker 1: or an organization that will give you more information about
Speaker 1: what we talked about in today's episode. But I think
Speaker 1: you're all doing pretty okay with staying away from Mushroom Labs.
Speaker 1: So we are going to use this opportunity to direct
Speaker 1: you towards blah blah blah blah teacher wish lists. Every
Speaker 1: year we at that's messed up. We will share the
Speaker 1: wish lists of the listeners of our show who are teachers,
Speaker 1: of which there are many. There is a highlight on
Speaker 1: our Instagram page called teachers that shows you exactly what
Speaker 1: you have to do in order to make the post
Speaker 1: and share it and so that I am able to
Speaker 1: share it to our listeners. But I am also this
Speaker 1: year going to keep track of all of them in
Speaker 1: a Google sheet, which is will be linked to in
Speaker 1: our show notes, and so you can if you're not
Speaker 1: an Instagram user or it's easier for you to just
Speaker 1: go to this Google sheet that'll be linked in our
Speaker 1: show notes and I'll make a story linking to that
Speaker 1: Google sheet as well. So if you have the means
Speaker 1: and you want to, just like maybe every week from
Speaker 1: now until school starts, you just throw a pack of
Speaker 1: post its at one of the teachers. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, if everybody just gives like one little thing,
Speaker 1: it fucking sucks that we live in a country where
Speaker 1: our governments is trying to end the Department of Education
Speaker 1: rying but teacher, you can get money for your concentration camps,
Speaker 1: but these teachers need money for their school classrooms. So
Speaker 1: we always love to support teachers. So that is this
Speaker 1: week's WWSPD. So that will be in our show notes
Speaker 1: and posted, and you can feel free to tag us
Speaker 1: in your wishless and we will share them and hopefully
Speaker 1: the That's Messed Up Hive will rise up and support
Speaker 1: some of the teachers in our midst Thank you.
Speaker 2: I think this is the first time I've ever interrupted
Speaker 2: you during what would sister peg.
Speaker 1: But always new times. We can always find new times
Speaker 1: to interrupt. I saw a post online that was like, oh,
Speaker 1: how are you funny? Have you seen these? Like oh,
Speaker 1: how are you so funny?
Speaker 2: And yeah, and it was like, well, my desk was
Speaker 2: put outside the classroom when I was young, and that
Speaker 2: did happen to me in fifth grade. I had to
Speaker 2: post it on my desk and every time I interrupted
Speaker 2: the teacher, I had to do a tally mark, and
Speaker 2: when I got to ten, I was kicked out and I'd.
Speaker 3: Have to spend the rest of the day in the hall.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: That a true problem. It truly is a problem. I
Speaker 1: don't think they do that kind of shaming anymore. I
Speaker 1: hope not.
Speaker 3: I hope not. Teachers let us know. Well, now i'd
Speaker 3: be medicated.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: If it was today, I think I'd be medicated. I
Speaker 2: really because I didn't I didn't even have the patience
Speaker 2: too scantron tests. I would I would just I would
Speaker 2: just fill out the answers and be like I want
Speaker 2: to go outside, like I didn't care. I didn't have
Speaker 2: I didn't have the focus or anything like. I think
Speaker 2: I'd be medicated if it was now or I didn't
Speaker 2: have immigrant parents. I had been medicated. But anyways, next
Speaker 2: week we will be doing shock Collar. Sounds like a
Speaker 2: fun hip hop song.
Speaker 3: Not, it's not.
Speaker 2: It's a disase from season twenty six, episode twenty. It's current,
Speaker 2: so you can only watch it on peacock or like
Speaker 2: your DVR, so do not go to even the peacock
Speaker 2: I have. It was making me upgrade to another another
Speaker 2: tier to watch it.
Speaker 3: So what I did did?
Speaker 1: I watch it at NBC dot com with commercials. So
Speaker 1: if you want to watch it for free, it's at
Speaker 1: NBC dot com with commercials. Oh wow, that's yeah, cool
Speaker 1: to hear. All right, So yeah, that's next week. We
Speaker 1: thank you all for listening. We're so happy to be
Speaker 1: out of the time machine a while journey for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we'll see you at our live show. Yep, see
Speaker 1: you guys in Brooklyn and next week, Bye bye.
Speaker 2: That's Messed Up as an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: If you have compliments you'd like to give us, or
Speaker 1: episodes you'd like us to cover, shoot us an email
Speaker 1: it That's messed uppod at gmail dot com. Listen to
Speaker 1: That's Messed Up on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2: Follow the podcast on Instagram at That's Messed Up Pod,
Speaker 2: and follow us personally at Kara Klank and at Glitter Cheese.
Speaker 1: As always, please see our show notes for sources and
Speaker 1: more information.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much to our senior producer Casey O'Brien
Speaker 2: and our associate producer Christina Chamberlain, and to.
Speaker 1: Our mixer John Bradley and our guest booker Patrick Cottner,
Speaker 1: and to Henry Kaperski for our theme song and Carly
Speaker 1: Geen Andrews for our artwork. Thank you to our executive
Speaker 1: producers Georgia Hardstart, Karen Kilgareff, Daniel Kramer, and everybody at
Speaker 1: Exactly Right Media. Dun dun