WEBVTT - “I FOUND OUT MY BABY WASN’T MINE” 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.040 Hello, Hello, is this Lyle? 0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:03.280 Who is this? 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:03.960 This is Tristan. 0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:04.720 Tristan. 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:05.600 How are you doing? 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:09.360 Tristan? Yes, take me off a speakerphone. 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:11.080 You are not on speakerphone. 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:12.600 But I was on a headset. 0:00:13.360 --> 0:00:18.119 Different spot mine headset not at all. Her phone is 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:19.480 to the head phones. 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:23.959 To the head yep. Okay now and then your phone 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:27.160 explodes and it kills you like it's seen from a 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:32.479 grand theft out of five. Yeah. Anyway, Well, Tristan, what's 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:33.480 going on? How's life? 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:38.080 It's it's been interesting? How about yourself? 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:40.879 Who cares about me? Why has your life been interesting? 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:48.600 Okay, So what I texted you was about my ex 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:56.600 fiance's secret life. I met her like September twenty twenty two, 0:00:57.400 --> 0:01:01.560 and apparently she met another dude around the same time, 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:06.560 and she was going back and forth between him and I, 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:11.440 and she got pregnant like within a month of you know, 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:15.280 me meeting her. So I thought, not knowing this other guy, 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:21.559 that that kid was mine, right, So supported her through 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:26.440 all of the pregnancy through you know, all of seven 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:29.119 months until I found out that kid wasn't mine through 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:33.520 a fraternity thus, and after that I was kind of 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:37.040 like doing some digging around trying to find some answers 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:41.120 because nothing was really adding up. One over two is 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:47.039 her grandmother's house. And they told me about this other guy. 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:50.720 How she would tell them that, you know, he's the father, 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:55.120 but I know him. I couldn't have kids if I 0:01:55.160 --> 0:02:00.360 wanted to raise her kid as my own. It's a yeah, 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:02.400 it's a fun story. 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:07.320 So you knew this woman for a month and then 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:07.720 she got. 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:11.040 Pregnant, Yeah, a little bit over a month. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.840 I had to meet her through tender. 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:19.680 Through tender, and you thought the kid was yours? And 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:22.960 when did you find out it wasn't. 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:28.000 I found out February fifteenth of this year. 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:30.480 How long was that after you had met? 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:35.960 So I met her in twenty twenty two, so just 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:40.480 about two years. The baby was seven months old, and 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:43.240 I didn't have a job at the time that I 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:46.560 met her, So I went around looking for a job. 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.359 I'm like, Okay, if I'm going to have this kid, 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:52.720 I'm going to have to, you know, be be able 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:56.200 to support both of them. And so I got a 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:59.520 job at Taco Bell worked my way up. Within eight months, 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:02.440 I was the regional manager. I took over that store 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:06.200 that I, you know, started working at, and then got 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.600 a job with the county. So I'm working for the 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:13.360 county now, and some things weren't adding up. Some things 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:17.840 just made me question. So behind her back, I did 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:21.679 one of those like DNA swabs and sent it in. 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:28.240 I got the results fifteenth of February, and I didn't 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:31.280 know what to do about it. So I kind of 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:34.760 got the results. I looked at him, went back and 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:38.880 you know, I was just looking at the baby, then 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.160 looking at her. She knew something was off, so she 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:44.800 ended up going through my phone while I was sleeping 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:50.480 and saw the DNA test. And when I woke up, 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:56.480 she was gone. She took the ring and stole my forerunner. 0:04:02.200 --> 0:04:09.280 Damn. So you raised this kid. So you meet a 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:16.320 woman on tender, you have this crazy accident pregnancy, you 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:19.359 step the fuck up, You go, I'm gonna raise this kid. 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:24.240 You have the kid, the kid's seven months old. You 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:33.000 find out it's not yours. Am I recapping this correctly. 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:38.000 Yeah, in the same night she was gone. 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:39.640 I woke up. 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:43.160 Was the kid leave the kid? Did you take the kid? 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:44.320 Oh? 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:44.960 She took the kid? 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:53.320 Fucking damn? So what ah man? And this was this 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:54.000 was too. 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.520 Yeah. Yeah, seeing the results, I felt like, you know, 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:03.080 I lost child, Like I didn't know how to kind 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:05.160 of react, and I didn't want to just blow up 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:08.479 on her, so I kind of just wanted to sit 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:11.799 with that information for a minute before I did anything 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:15.919 about it. And she knew something was wrong, so she 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.400 went through my phone and you know, changed the pass 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:20.360 code on my phone, so I had to like factory 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:24.640 reset it, and I lost all my photos and you 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:28.440 know a bunch of important things that I need. But 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:33.120 you know, that's kind of a small inconvenience compared to 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:36.599 everything else. But on top of already feeling like I 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:41.160 just lost a child, they were gone and there were 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:46.680 no answers, there were no you know, nothing added up. 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:50.719 So you know, I did some detective detective work. I 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:54.080 found out who the actual father was, and he and 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:58.799 I right now seemed to be doing okay, like we're friends, 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:00.840 we're talking about it. We kind of have a very 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:05.440 similar experience with this woman. And right now I'm just 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:09.080 trying to get my name off the baby's birth certificate, 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:12.159 so like I'm not you know, having to pay child's 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:15.480 port or whatever for a child that's not mine and 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:17.080 kind of just move on with my life. 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.839 So you and this kid's father became friends. 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:27.200 Oh yeah, I talked to him last night actually about 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:32.159 what uh well, we talked about different like experiences that 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:34.560 we had with her, like how we met everything like that. 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:39.920 My attorney is actually trying to attach him on the 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:45.440 like whole court situation so he can sign like, Okay, 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:48.799 if I get a paternity test and I'm the actual father, 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.800 then I'll step up and be that baby's father, you know. 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:57.520 So we're just trying to figure out how to go 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:03.520 about doing all all this and potentially get him full 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:07.799 custody of the child because she's very clearly not someone 0:07:07.839 --> 0:07:09.360 that should be raising a child right now. 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:14.960 So what's his deal with her? Like how did this even? 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:15.680 Like? 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:21.480 Uh how, what's what's his story with her? 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:27.640 It's like eerily similar. We met her around the same 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:31.679 time September. I don't know if I met her first 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:36.480 or how that went. Who met her first, but you know, 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:40.880 met on tender, talked it up. Things are going well, 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:46.680 and she got pregnant, like very very soon into both 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:51.160 of us talking to her, and you know, he did 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.760 the same thing I did, stepped up, was like, shit, 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:56.760 I don't have a job right now. I need to 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:58.800 figure out Okay, what am I gonna do? What's the 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:02.240 best way to raise this child? So he got a job, 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:07.920 he you know, worked his ass off, supported her as 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:12.080 I supported her. So she later I found out and 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:16.800 found like different jewelry and stuff like that. It's, yeah, 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:20.200 very similar to what I went through. 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:23.280 So was he. So he was still having a relationship 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:25.080 with her throughout the whole time that you were. 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:32.640 Oh yeah, yeah. So her family is about like forty 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.840 minutes an hour away, and she would want to go 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:38.720 and visit them. So I let her borrow my truck 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:42.560 drive down to visit her family while I went to work, 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:47.760 and sure enough she was going to see him. Like 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:52.800 June of last year, she convinced me to let her 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:56.600 take my truck to Santa Cruz to do like this 0:08:56.679 --> 0:09:02.440 camping trip with her friend, like this guy. But I 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:04.280 always thought that they were just close friends, you know, 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:11.040 And apparently the tent that I bought her to use 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:14.720 because she was pregnant, they you know, did their business 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:17.440 in the tent, and you know, they were still a 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:20.920 thing all the way up until October of last year 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:24.840 while her and I were together. So she just would 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:27.960 go back and forth and you know, tell this part 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:31.199 of her family like, oh, he's the father, and then 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:33.559 the other part of the family like he's not the father, 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:37.040 but he doesn't want to talk about it, just you know, 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:39.560 don't bring it up. He knows he's not the father, 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:41.400 but he wants to raise the child like it's his 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:44.199 because he can't have kids, which I can. 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:57.400 He's just manipulous, And so was she when the baby 0:09:57.520 --> 0:09:58.840 was born. 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:04.120 How'd that work? Like was this other guy like in like, 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:07.040 how the fuck? How the fuck did she keep this 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:09.400 charade going once the baby was born. 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:16.000 So when the baby was born, I was with her 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:19.440 and I stayed up holding her hand and helping her 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:22.600 get the epidural, stayed up all the way like through 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.520 like four in the morning. Her water broke four forty 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:29.240 the baby was already out, like it was a very fast, 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:36.120 like crazy birth. And after things calmed down, I fell asleep. 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:39.440 And after I fall asleep, she actually called the actual 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:43.760 father was like, hey, I'm sorry the I didn't have 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:45.720 time to warn you and let you know about coming 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:50.560 to the hospital, but your daughter's here. And I was 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:53.560 literally five feet from her just to sleep. 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:57.040 Wow. 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:01.239 And she watched me sign the voluntary declaration of parenthood 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:02.480 that the fathers do. 0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:04.080 Wow. 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:08.880 And in the state of California, it's incredibly difficult to 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:14.280 nullify that signature because they don't want those children to 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:17.920 become wards of the state. So like, even if you're 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:20.720 not the actual father and later on it, you know, 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:25.440 you find out if you sign that, it's incredibly difficult 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.240 to you know, take it to court and get it 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:32.520 to be taken off unless you actually know the father 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:36.080 and he's willing to step up. That's why I, you know, 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:41.400 became friends with the actual father because he seems like 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:45.400 a chill dude. And you know, we just got played 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:46.160 by a woman. 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:53.839 I mean, that's that's such a I can't even begin 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:58.200 to understand how she was able to keep this charade 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:01.320 up while being right, because like even like you know, 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.400 trying to have like two boyfriends at once is it 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:08.760 sounds like a complicated fucking thing. But to do it 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:11.199 while you're pregnant and both of them think they're the father, 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:13.880 I mean, that's how that fuck to even do. 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:17.839 That, which unfortunately I don't even know if it was 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.319 only the two of us, right, you know, there's possible 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:24.160 there was more. And I was working twelve hour plus 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:27.200 shifts that I was working my ass off the moment 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:31.520 I would get home. Like I, I was tired. I 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:35.360 got to a point where I couldn't keep fighting and 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:38.880 pushing for answers because she would throw in just enough 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:44.600 truth and make it provable, but still be a lie. 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:48.040 So she was very good. She's a callin artist like her. 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:52.240 Her family is just the same. Like her little sister 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:56.560 ended up moving in with us because her grandmother kicked 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.920 her out, which later I found out they planned it. 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:04.200 They you know, lied to the grandmother and she got 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:08.640 custody of her little sister. But I've looked into that 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:15.360 girl's eyes, and I honestly saw all evil. I I 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:20.600 just fought and fought to keep pushing, and she would 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.880 threaten to leave and like go to her mom's in Modesto, 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:27.840 and I didn't want to not be a part of 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:30.800 my child's life, so I just kind of caved. And 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.240 you know, at a certain point, I was too tired 0:13:33.280 --> 0:13:36.240 to keep fighting and I was just getting walked over. 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.920 So do we know where she is and where that 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:43.480 kid is? 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:49.760 Yes? Yeah, I actually went down. My attorney told me, 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.960 if you know where the Forerunner is, just go and 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.240 get it. And I drove down there after work one day, 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:59.320 hopped into it, throve started driving. They ran out of 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:02.400 the apartment and like climbed on top of it. She 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:06.040 was current, like in the middle of this, bashing the window, 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:11.040 trying to break it with the keys, and they wouldn't 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:14.160 get off the car. So the cops were called. They came. 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.360 I showed them like, hey, my attorney told me to 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:20.080 get my car back, and so the cops called Triple 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:22.440 A for me and helped me tell it back home. 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:29.960 And yeah, I've been through quite a lot of craziness. 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:34.920 And okay, so you got to get your car from 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:38.360 this woman. And then your buddy, your new friend, he's 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:40.320 gonna get his kid. What's up with that? 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:49.800 Yeah? Our court day is September, and you know part 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:53.480 of that is, okay, we need a court mandated paternity test, 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:57.440 so that'll be done for both of us for the baby. 0:14:57.560 --> 0:14:59.960 That'll prove that I'm not the father, and you know, 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:02.800 find out if he truly is the father. 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:06.080 Right, does he even know? That's not like a third guy? 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:08.720 We don't know. 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:12.160 Oh my god, how old are you man? 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:14.960 Yeah, I'm twenty five. 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:20.040 Twenty five, jeez, And this has been you're doing and 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:21.880 this is this whole newsy's been going on for two 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:23.960 years almost something like. 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:29.200 That from since I've known her, but you know the 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:36.400 crazy extra crazy stuff I guess has been since February. 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:41.160 Hmmm. So okay, I gotta ask you this, Like you 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:43.640 and this guy like it is here boy, now, you 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:46.360 guys ever like hang out and just like get high 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:47.800 and play Fortnite, Like what's up? 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.000 We've been trying to set up a time to meet up. 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:55.680 He's he's a bit far away because he was kind 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:59.440 of in that side of her life. But we're trying 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.000 to said something up, hopefully next week to finally meet 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:09.120 in person. But like when I got the Forerunner and 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:12.480 they were loading it up on the on like tow truck, 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:15.520 I called him and I was telling him what happened, 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:19.360 and he's like, yeah, fuck her, dude, Yeah, like all 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:21.640 this stuff. So you know, he's on my side. 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.160 Man, that'd be cool if you guys became like good boys, 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:29.880 you know, playing a trip to Vegas together hung out. 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:36.240 I can honestly highly see that, Like he's chill, genuine dude. 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:43.080 So m hmm, So what's next for you? 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:43.400 Man? 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:46.040 How the fuck? Uh uh? What do you have any 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:50.120 do you have anything positive and good planned for your life. 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:54.720 I'm signing a trip to the Philippines next year. I 0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:58.400 have a nice job. Now I'm happy you can send 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:01.880 kind of work, more experience, and then move on to 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:04.959 a better paying job. But you know where I'm at 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:09.000 right now, I'm pretty good. Like it was, it was 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:13.760 a weight lifted off my shoulder, Like I I wasn't 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.840 ready to have a kid, and I especially wasn't ready 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:21.840 to be with this person. But you know, I proposed 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:25.399 because I thought that kid was mine and just trying 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:29.479 to do everything right. But now I can focus on myself. 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:37.679 That's wonderful. Man, that's really great. I mean, I'm sorry 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:40.399 that uh it's that's such a wit. That's got to 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:45.520 be such a weird, crazy feeling. Yeah, it really must 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:50.960 be like losing a child, but in this weird way 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.000 where you know, like you like you were saying like 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:57.159 you weren't even really ready and but you know, you 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:00.359 stepped up and then you find out the kid's not yours, 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:06.280 and it's really painful, but it's also a weird relief, 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:10.720 you know, because now you get to go to Philippines, 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:15.359 you get to live your own life. It sounds like 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:19.600 you've recovered well from this this crazy thing. 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:26.119 I mean, it's still mentally fucks with me, but you know, 0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:29.680 it's kind of I'm doing what I can about it 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:32.400 and everything else that I can't do anything about it. 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:35.840 I just kind of have to let go, like it 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:39.919 doesn't affect anyone else but myself to have, you know, 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:43.199 hatred in my heart for that or anything else. So 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:47.119 just kind of accepted and move on, try to make 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:47.760 the best of it. 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:52.959 What's your name again, I'm Tristan. 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:55.159 You're good fucking dude, Tristan. 0:18:57.520 --> 0:18:58.320 I appreciate that. 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:02.680 Really a lot of characters. Yeah, it has been a 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:07.520 real quest. I mean, this is a crazy, crazy thing. 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:09.080 I mean, if this happened to me, it would drive 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:12.200 me completely insane. And you, I mean, I'm sure it 0:19:12.240 --> 0:19:14.280 did drive you completely insane, and maybe it took a 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:16.800 little while, but you seem like you get a a 0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:19.240 decent head on your shoulders still after everything. 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:24.879 I mean, there's so much more like on top of it, 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:27.320 but I tried to just kind of lay out a 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:34.280 base foundation of that shit show. But yeah, that's honestly, 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:37.280 like I thought about drinking and I kind of did 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:41.199 a little bit afterward, went like drink for like a 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:46.040 week and was like, this isn't helping, this isn't doing anything. 0:19:46.840 --> 0:19:49.560 I don't smoke weed, I don't, you know, do drugs. 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:52.160 I work for the county, Like I can't do any 0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.600 of that stuff, So I basically only have alcohol and 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:59.240 I just don't get anything out of that. I've always 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:01.880 been in the dirt by and kind of through the relationship. 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:04.040 I was taking care of her. She was on bed rest, 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.880 and you know, I kind of lost all my hobbies. 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:10.399 It was taken care of two children, and then when 0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:14.760 her sister came three, so I kind of would work. 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:18.080 I would get home, make dinner, clean the house. They 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:21.120 wouldn't do anything. They would just be on their phones 0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:25.119 and you know, doing whatever while I took the baby. 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.399 After I got home, made dinner for everyone. I was 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:31.080 kind of just doing it all. So I didn't have 0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:33.600 time for any hobbies. But like, I learned how to 0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:35.200 ride a dirt bike when I was two years old, 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:40.320 so A bought a YZ four P fifty and just 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:44.080 going out to Prairie City doing my thing. 0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:50.359 Would you ever have a kid of your own with 0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:51.679 a sane person? 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:54.600 I was, oh, God, with the same person. 0:20:54.680 --> 0:20:57.040 No, No, no, oh, I said, with a sane person. 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:03.080 Oh, with the sane person. M. I've genuinely looked into 0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:08.640 like respectomies and honestly, if I never had a kid, 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:14.639 I'm okay with that, Like it was rewarding to you know, 0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:19.920 see the progression, change those diapers and you know, really 0:21:20.240 --> 0:21:25.320 be there for that child. But you know that kind 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:27.639 of thing where people talk about like the moment I 0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:31.560 saw my child, just the amount of love in my 0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:34.679 heart changed, Like I didn't know what love was before 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:38.399 I met my child. That didn't happen for me, and 0:21:38.520 --> 0:21:41.040 maybe it will for when you know it's the same 0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:47.000 person and I know that's my kid, but I don't know. 0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:52.879 Well, Tristan, look man, you've been through a crazy roller 0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:59.119 coaster and you've you've it's like it's you. You truly 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:01.760 are that whole thing of no good deed goes unpunished. 0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:09.880 So uh, my brother, enjoy the enjoy the motorbiking. Motorbiking, right, yeah, 0:22:10.160 --> 0:22:16.040 enjoy the motorbiking, enjoy the Philippines. Enjoy whatever the fuck 0:22:16.040 --> 0:22:17.080 you want to do with your life. 0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:17.280 Man. 0:22:17.320 --> 0:22:20.600 I mean, you're you're a young single guy with no 0:22:20.800 --> 0:22:24.000 kids in a remote job. Go crazy, kind of what. 0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:27.440 I'm doing, just finding myself again and making the best 0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:29.840 of it. 0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:31.320 Is there anything else that you want to say to 0:22:31.359 --> 0:22:33.199 the people of the computer or that you want to 0:22:33.240 --> 0:22:34.880 just talk about it in general before we go. 0:22:37.240 --> 0:22:40.720 I do want to appreciate you, you know, calling me 0:22:40.840 --> 0:22:44.760 up and letting me have some kind of way to 0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:47.480 talk about this, like I don't, yeah, don't really talk 0:22:47.520 --> 0:22:50.240 about this with my friends or you know, haven't gotten 0:22:50.240 --> 0:22:52.120 the actual therapist or anything like that. 0:22:52.280 --> 0:22:56.080 So there a reason? Is there a reason you avoid 0:22:56.119 --> 0:22:58.480 talking about this with your friends? 0:22:59.720 --> 0:23:06.520 Oh, it's my close friends. They were like when I 0:23:06.520 --> 0:23:08.520 told them the kid was in mine, They're like, I 0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:15.360 fucking called it. So they're not They're helpful, they absolutely are, 0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:17.600 like it, we joke about shit, we have a dark 0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:21.240 sense of humor. But they're not someone that I would 0:23:21.240 --> 0:23:24.480 go to and be like, hey, I feel empty inside, 0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:30.000 or you know anything deep like that. So that's why 0:23:30.000 --> 0:23:31.360 I don't really talk to them about it. 0:23:32.320 --> 0:23:33.560 Do you feel empty inside? 0:23:36.720 --> 0:23:41.040 No? Not really, I think honestly I was. I was 0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:47.359 depressed and not not exactly happy when I was with her, 0:23:48.040 --> 0:23:51.919 and now that I'm kind of free again and I'm 0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:55.399 doing all these different things to get back to being me. 0:23:56.560 --> 0:23:57.120 I feel good. 0:23:59.119 --> 0:24:03.760 That's wonderful. Man. Look, you know, I appreciate you coming 0:24:03.760 --> 0:24:07.600 on here and telling your story. I'm inspired by the 0:24:07.600 --> 0:24:09.480 great perspective that you have on all of this, and 0:24:09.480 --> 0:24:11.399 I wish you the best of luck and be careful. 0:24:11.440 --> 0:24:13.879 In the Philippines, I just got back from Thailand and 0:24:13.920 --> 0:24:16.919 I didn't I didn't realize that it is one hundred 0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:20.240 degrees all the time in that area of the world. 0:24:20.840 --> 0:24:23.000 So you know, packishia oh yeah. 0:24:22.800 --> 0:24:25.160 And humid, oh yeah, definitely. 0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:25.440 Yeah. 0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:28.240 I'm from I grew up in Arizona, so that the 0:24:28.320 --> 0:24:30.080 day I left and moved to California, it was one 0:24:30.160 --> 0:24:33.440 hundred and twenty six degrees. But that's just to Rai heat. 0:24:33.480 --> 0:24:36.840 It's not like Texas where it's super hot and humid. 0:24:37.720 --> 0:24:41.200 But it's fun. It's cool, man. One thing, yeah, please, I. 0:24:41.160 --> 0:24:45.240 Bet I will hit me. To all the people expecting 0:24:45.240 --> 0:24:50.440 a child, you know, heavily, think about doing a paternity 0:24:50.480 --> 0:24:53.880 test before you sign anything. I know in Tennessee they 0:24:53.880 --> 0:24:57.480 now made it a federal crime for a paternity fraud, 0:24:57.880 --> 0:25:01.800 which is what I went through. Just you know, have 0:25:01.920 --> 0:25:05.240 that conversation with your partner like, hey, you know, it 0:25:05.280 --> 0:25:06.919 has nothing to do with you, which is kind of 0:25:06.920 --> 0:25:10.879 a secondary thing, Like I want to make sure, without 0:25:10.880 --> 0:25:14.720 any doubt, highly suggested, you. 0:25:14.680 --> 0:25:18.280 Know, take care of Tristan. 0:25:18.320 --> 0:25:20.800 Thank you, Yeah, take care of law. 0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:27.760 That was a fascinating phone call, man. You know that 0:25:27.880 --> 0:25:30.280