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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter and we could be reading

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Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're going

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Speaker 1: to read this one right here, right now, and you

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Speaker 1: never know it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: All right, buckle up, hold on site. We got it

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Speaker 2: for you here. It is strong Baby Letters.

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Speaker 1: Subject whose side is he on? Dear Stephen Shirley. My

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Speaker 1: husband and I bicker a lot, and he repeats things

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Speaker 1: to his mama and daddy and they judge me from

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Speaker 1: what he's told them. Over the holidays, we went to

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Speaker 1: his parents' house in Ohio, and I was miserable the

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Speaker 1: entire time because his mom is a trip. Before we

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Speaker 1: got married, we've had a huge argument in front of

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Speaker 1: his parents, and his mother told me that I should

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Speaker 1: know my place with my husband and stop challenging him

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Speaker 1: whenever he tells me things. I understood that and promised

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Speaker 1: myself that I would do better. Her advice has continued,

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Speaker 1: and four years later, she still only has advice from

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Speaker 1: me when my husband and I get into arguments. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we argue over stupid stuff all the time. His dad

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Speaker 1: knows the stuff it's stupid, but he's always on my

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Speaker 1: husband's side. I texted an online therapist for help and

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Speaker 1: was told that if the group thinks I'm wrong, then

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Speaker 1: I'm wrong, So I need your opinion. I take care

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Speaker 1: of all the laundry and dry cleaning. My husband will

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Speaker 1: want to wear a particular shirt one day, but it's

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Speaker 1: still at the dry cleaners. I told him to communicate

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Speaker 1: with me, and that can stop happening. He will say

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Speaker 1: things like, we don't have any children, so why can't

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Speaker 1: I go to the dry cleaner more often? His parents

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Speaker 1: have agreed with him on little issues like this, when

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Speaker 1: the underlying issue is they're mad because they want grandchildren

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Speaker 1: and I'm not ready. I'm not having a baby with

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Speaker 1: a man that talks down to me and picks fights

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Speaker 1: over petty ds. When his mom talks to me crazy

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Speaker 1: and I tell her to watch her tone, he sides

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Speaker 1: with her. I don't have my family, and I don't

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Speaker 1: have my family and our personal affairs, so why can't

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Speaker 1: he keep them out of our business?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 1: I think that's kind of simple. It seems like They've

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Speaker 1: coddled him all of his life, and he's really never

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Speaker 1: stood up to them about anything, especially you know about you,

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Speaker 1: his spouse. They still treat him like he's their little boy,

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Speaker 1: and anyone who speaks up or challenges him like you

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Speaker 1: is the enemy or she should know her place or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And he never followed that principle in the Bible that says,

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Speaker 1: you know, to leave all others and cleave to the wife.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't put you or the marriage first. There's also

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Speaker 1: a saying that goes what happens in the house stays

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Speaker 1: in the house or house business. And there's no way

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Speaker 1: that as a grown man, he should be running back

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Speaker 1: to his parents telling them what goes on at home.

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Speaker 1: Of course, they're going to dislike you and resent you

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Speaker 1: if he's only telling one side of the story. I mean,

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Speaker 1: do you and your husband even like each other? Because

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Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like it. I mean, what is all

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Speaker 1: this arguing and fighting about anyway? And why are you

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Speaker 1: guys arguing in front of his folks. You really need

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Speaker 1: to stop that because if you do it in front

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Speaker 1: of them, they're most likely going to be in the business.

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Speaker 1: I would say, don't even respond when his mom talks

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Speaker 1: to you crazy because telling her to watch her tone

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Speaker 1: is disrespectful and that's why he sides with her. You know,

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Speaker 1: it just sounds crazy. That sounds crazy too. I think

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Speaker 1: this can be fixed if you guys stop being so

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Speaker 1: petty with each other and just grow up. The both

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Speaker 1: of you should seek marital counseling. And please don't have

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Speaker 1: a baby until after you finish your therapy sessions, please, Steve.

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Speaker 3: Well Well Well this type of letter that I specialize

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Speaker 3: because it's called reading between the lines?

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Speaker 2: Whose side is he on? When you say who? Who

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Speaker 2: do you mean? Who is he?

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Speaker 3: She must be referring to her husband. Well throughout the letter,

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Speaker 3: it ain't on your side, So let's just figure this out.

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Speaker 3: This Stephen Shirley, my husband and I biger a lot.

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Speaker 3: He repeats things to his mom and daddy and they

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Speaker 3: judge me from what he's told them.

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Speaker 2: Mama's boy.

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Speaker 3: Over the holidays, we went to his parents' house in Ohio,

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Speaker 3: and I was miserable the entire time because his mom

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Speaker 3: is a trip mama's boy. Before we got married, we

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Speaker 3: got into a huge argument in front of his parents

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Speaker 3: and his mother told me that I should know my

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Speaker 3: place with my husband and stopped challenging him whenever he

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Speaker 3: tells me things. Mama's boy. I understood that and promised

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Speaker 3: myself that I would do better.

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Speaker 2: You can't.

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Speaker 3: You're married to a mama's boy. Her advice has continued.

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Speaker 3: That's cause he's a mama's boy. And four years later,

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Speaker 3: she still only has advice for me when my husband

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Speaker 3: and I get into argument.

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Speaker 2: Mama's boy.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we argu over stupid stuff all the time. His

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Speaker 3: dad knows the stuff that's stupid, but he's always on

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Speaker 3: my husband's side. He's scared at a mama too. I

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Speaker 3: text an online now here we go. I text and

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Speaker 3: online therapists for help and was told if the group

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Speaker 3: thinks I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. Now you know me

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Speaker 3: and therapist. But therapy is real. So if you're gonna go,

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Speaker 3: I suggest you get off line. Sound to me like

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Speaker 3: you need to go sit somewhere and see somebody lie.

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Speaker 3: See you on line telling them what's wrong and they

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Speaker 3: can't see your faith. Therapists work better when they can

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Speaker 3: see your face, when they can hear you heavy breathing.

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Speaker 3: You know when they do a response you don't like

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Speaker 3: and you fold your arms. See all this can't come

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Speaker 3: across online, you know, like even when we zoom, you

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Speaker 3: can't tell the whole story when we zoom it. See,

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Speaker 3: you don't really know what I'm doing right now, not everything.

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Speaker 3: You can't see both my hands. You don't know what

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Speaker 3: I'm doing. See that's why on line therapy might not

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Speaker 3: be best for you. You need to take your somewhere and

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Speaker 3: see somebody live because think you wrong, then you wrong?

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Speaker 3: Then while the hell you go talk to the group

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Speaker 3: instead of therapy.

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Speaker 1: Oh that thought, Steve. Okay, we'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the

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Speaker 1: hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject whose side is he on?

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening,

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Speaker 1: hundred two five one fifty four hundred or globelife radio

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Speaker 1: dot com. All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letter. The subject whose side is he on?

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, we done talked about this being a

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Speaker 3: mama's boy, and I think that's what's true, because a

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Speaker 3: lot of stuff in.

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Speaker 2: Here when they argue, she take his side. Mama's boy.

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Speaker 3: Every time they have a dispute, he run home and

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Speaker 3: tell his mommy and daddy, mama's boy. You know, you

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Speaker 3: ought to know your place with your husband and stop

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Speaker 3: challenging whatever he tall. You think that's what his mama

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Speaker 3: said to you. That's because her mama's born. His father

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Speaker 3: know y'all all over stupids up, but he takes his

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Speaker 3: son's side too. That's called the daddy scared of the

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Speaker 3: mama too. Okay, Now we didne got this cleared up.

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Speaker 3: The mama's running things over there. So now you done

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Speaker 3: got so tired of this that you'd havee decided to

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Speaker 3: go to an online therapist for help and was told

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Speaker 3: that if the group thinks I'm wrong, I'm wrong. My

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Speaker 3: suggestion is you need to quit going online to this therapist,

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Speaker 3: and you need to take your down to her office.

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Speaker 3: You needed somebody to see your face in your therapist, sesson.

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Speaker 3: You need somebody hit somebody hear you heavy breathing, to

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Speaker 3: see a therapist can help you better if they see

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Speaker 3: all the nuances of your frustration, lip smacking, heavy breathing, underbreath, mothering.

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Speaker 2: They needs to hear it is to help you. They

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Speaker 2: need to hear this. He ain't getting it online.

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Speaker 3: So I suggest going down that line. Now here we go,

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Speaker 3: so I need your opinion. I take care of all

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Speaker 3: our laundry and dry cleaning. My husband will want to

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Speaker 3: wear a particular shirt one day, but it's still at

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Speaker 3: the dry cleaners. I told him to communicate with me,

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Speaker 3: and that can stop happening. He will say things like,

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Speaker 3: we don't have any children, so why can't I go

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Speaker 3: through the dry cleaner's more often. Let's take this line

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Speaker 3: right here, this poet statement, right here. You do all

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Speaker 3: the dry cleaning. Your husband wants to wear a particular

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Speaker 3: shirt one day, but it's at the dry cleaner. You

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Speaker 3: told him to communicate with you more. Now his need

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Speaker 3: two shirts?

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Speaker 2: That's all this is?

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Speaker 3: See what is you in my bastion with rack funky

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Speaker 3: little shirt you're talking about when you just need another shirt,

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Speaker 3: and then he gonna tell you we ain't got no kids.

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Speaker 3: You ought to be able to go to the dry

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Speaker 3: cleaning more. We ain't got no kids. Y'all be buying

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Speaker 3: another shirt. See, you gotta get this stuff off you.

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Speaker 3: You keep letting them dump stuff on you with his

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Speaker 3: inadequate behind, now his shortcomings as a man. He's gotta

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Speaker 3: run to his mama with everything. He can't afford two shirts.

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Speaker 3: What y'allen to have a baby for? You know how

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Speaker 3: much stuff you got to buy for a baby.

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Speaker 2: He can't even.

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Speaker 3: Afford another shirt, y'all arguing about stupid stuff. He want

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Speaker 3: a particular shirt and it's at the dry cleaning. You

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Speaker 3: just wanted shirt Monday, this Thursday. Everybody gonna see you

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Speaker 3: with that shirt on because you know you like it.

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Speaker 3: Because he's got the little bumble bee on the collar.

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Speaker 3: He got one Gucci shirt. Now he want everybody to

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Speaker 3: see he got it on. He told you not to

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Speaker 3: buy that shirt with the bumble bee on the neck anyway,

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Speaker 3: because everybody gonna know it's the same shirt. When you poe,

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Speaker 3: you can't get extravagant stuff. You gotta stay simple. Take

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Speaker 3: your down to Maces and get you white shirt and

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Speaker 3: you wear it many times you want you, Oh no,

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Speaker 3: you gonna go down there and get the Guti white

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Speaker 3: shirt with the bee on the college. Now, I guess

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Speaker 3: what everybody now, you got nicknamed cheeriolds. You know they

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Speaker 3: call it your stuff at work. You don't even know

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Speaker 3: nothing about cheerios. Why they call it? You know?

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Speaker 2: You know Cheerio got the little b on it. You know,

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Speaker 2: Black people help slick stuff, and they do. His parents have.

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Speaker 3: Agreed with him on little issues like this, when the

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Speaker 3: underlying issue is they're mad because they want a grandchildren

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Speaker 3: and I'm not ready and I'm not having a baby

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Speaker 3: with a man that talks down to me and picks

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Speaker 3: fikes over petty bs. You, young lady, are absolutely one

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Speaker 3: hundred correct. Is your body, is your life, and is

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Speaker 3: your husband. When his mom talks to me crazy, I

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Speaker 3: tell her to watch her tone. He sides with her

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Speaker 3: cause you got tired of So Now, Shirley, you're gonna

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Speaker 3: be the mother and I'm gonna be the daughter, and

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you how the ways you can have

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Speaker 3: this because you because this marriage ain't gonna make it

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Speaker 3: no way.

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Speaker 1: Baby. You know you're supposed to listen to your husband

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Speaker 1: and go get that shirt out the cleaners. Baby, Yes, baby.

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Speaker 2: He the baby. Don't call me a baby. He the baby.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's a term of endearment, Honey, don't take offense

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Speaker 1: to it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, honey, honey.

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Speaker 3: If he had some money, we could have two shirts.

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Speaker 1: Well, sweetye, it sounds like you have an attitude. What's

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Speaker 1: the problem.

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Speaker 3: I got an attitude because I have married yo. Boy,

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Speaker 3: that's why I got it.

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Speaker 2: Walk to.

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Speaker 1: He is my baby. He is my baby, but he's

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Speaker 1: a grown man. He married you. He can't be.

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Speaker 2: A baby and a grown man at same time.

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Speaker 1: Lady, you can call.

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Speaker 3: Me mom, you call you sweetie. Now I'm not going

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Speaker 3: to call you mama. You're already too many mamas around here.

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Speaker 1: Now, what this attitude?

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Speaker 2: I got a mama? Well, that's what the attitue two

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Speaker 2: it is.

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Speaker 3: I got a mama and I left her to marry

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Speaker 3: my husband who is stuck up under his mama.

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Speaker 2: You need to cut the apron strings in what you

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Speaker 2: need to do?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know what I think the apron strings are cut.

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Speaker 1: You have your house. We have our house and we

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Speaker 1: cut along just fine. What's the problem.

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Speaker 2: Baby, Don't nobody like you like?

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Speaker 1: You're mad a lot.

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Speaker 2: We ain't getting along. We're about to get on. It's

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Speaker 2: what we're fin to do.

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Speaker 3: And I'm not fit to have a grandchild with that

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Speaker 3: ragged boy you then made.

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Speaker 1: My baby is just fine. You just gotta know how

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Speaker 1: to love them. Listen, we're out of time, Steve. Please

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Speaker 1: leave your comments on today's letter on Instagram at oh,

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Speaker 1: I know you guys to go, I'm surely now and

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Speaker 1: check out the Strubbery. You're staying in character. Check out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.