WEBVTT - Second Cup: Become a regular somewhere

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is about one efficient way to add happiness into

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<v Speaker 1>your life. Become a regular somewhere, ideally with good company.

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<v Speaker 1>In a recent episode, we talked about adding more serendipity

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<v Speaker 1>into our daily schedules. This can require new inputs, but

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes we can boost happiness by doubling down on existing

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<v Speaker 1>inputs and going all in to make these a regular

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<v Speaker 1>part of our lives. People my age and older no

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<v Speaker 1>doubt remember the theme song from the TV show Cheers.

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<v Speaker 1>Cheers was a place where everybody knows your name and

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<v Speaker 1>they're always glad you came. It's certainly an appealing concept

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<v Speaker 1>and one reason some surveys show increased loneliness that isolated

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<v Speaker 1>with our cell phones, we spend less time going to

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<v Speaker 1>local watering holes or other places we can become part

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<v Speaker 1>of a community, houses of worship, civic organizations, even organized

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<v Speaker 1>playgroups for kids where parents can commiserate together. We know

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<v Speaker 1>that social ties tend to make people happier, but when

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<v Speaker 1>people are busy, arranging specific times to get together can

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<v Speaker 1>feel like a ton of work. When you always go

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<v Speaker 1>somewhere at a particular time, though, and other people do too.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't have to do the planning and scheduling. You

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<v Speaker 1>get the relationships without the hassle. And by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>these relationships don't have to be deep, soulful sorts of things.

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<v Speaker 1>Most people will, in fact feel happier when the local

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<v Speaker 1>postal clerk addresses you by name and asks about your family.

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<v Speaker 1>As with all things in life, there has to be

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<v Speaker 1>a balance. You can become a regular at a grocery store,

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<v Speaker 1>but maybe you're in a stage of life we're getting

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<v Speaker 1>groceries delivered makes more sense. Too much sameness and routine

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<v Speaker 1>can be a problem too, so I prefer to look

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<v Speaker 1>at opportunities to become a regular somewhere that would happen

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<v Speaker 1>about once a week or so, rather than daily. Fortunately,

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<v Speaker 1>there are lots of opportunities for this. As I look

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<v Speaker 1>at my life, I can see a few places where

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<v Speaker 1>I might become a regular. Most days I make my

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<v Speaker 1>own coffee, but I pop by my neighborhood coffee shop

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<v Speaker 1>when I'm in the mood for a cappuccino. There are

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<v Speaker 1>two casual restaurants in my area where I've realized after

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of experimentation that everyone in my family will

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<v Speaker 1>be happy. So when my family is going out to dinner,

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<v Speaker 1>we go to those two places. Over time, you get

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<v Speaker 1>to know individual waiters and specials. Same for the nice

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<v Speaker 1>adult focused restaurant downtown where my husband and I make reservations.

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<v Speaker 1>When we plan to entertain people, it's nice to know

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<v Speaker 1>exactly where to park our guests introduce the novelty. We

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<v Speaker 1>know the venue will be good. Maybe you've got some

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<v Speaker 1>places like this too, or other things you do semi

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<v Speaker 1>regularly in life. There's a particular teacher at your gym

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<v Speaker 1>that you always enjoy when you manage to get there,

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<v Speaker 1>or there's a lunch spot in your work that you

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<v Speaker 1>always like when you go. To become a regular, and

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<v Speaker 1>to get the most out of this experience, do a

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<v Speaker 1>few things. First, look at your schedule and see if

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<v Speaker 1>you could build visiting this place into your life consistently.

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<v Speaker 1>The exercise teacher might teach on three different days, and

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes each of these is a possibility, but Tuesday nights

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<v Speaker 1>tend to work the best. Could you commit to going

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<v Speaker 1>the vast majority of Tuesday nights? I mean, there's always

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<v Speaker 1>a reason one week here and there, won't work. But

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<v Speaker 1>what if you started telling yourself that Tuesday is Pilate's night.

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<v Speaker 1>You'd start constructing your life to make it possible, and

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<v Speaker 1>you also wouldn't have to think about it. At least

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<v Speaker 1>one day a week, you'd know exactly what you do

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<v Speaker 1>for exercise. That's a great outcome, But to truly get

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<v Speaker 1>the most out of being a regular, don't stop there.

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<v Speaker 1>You can invite other people to join you. It can

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<v Speaker 1>be casual you tell a friend about your great Tuesday

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<v Speaker 1>night exercise class, or it can be more formal. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you commit to taking a different direct report out to

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<v Speaker 1>lunch at your favorite place every Monday. You can rotate through,

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<v Speaker 1>but you get to know the restaurant and you build relationships.

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<v Speaker 1>And of course, once you've decided to become a regular,

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<v Speaker 1>you can pay more attention to the people who are

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<v Speaker 1>already there. At the restaurant, you get to know the

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<v Speaker 1>hostess and the weight staff. Maybe at a bar, as

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<v Speaker 1>with Cheers, you've got your own favorite bartender who you

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<v Speaker 1>can chat with. You notice someone else comes most Tuesday

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<v Speaker 1>nights to the same exercise class. Since you've committed to coming,

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<v Speaker 1>you know it's worth introducing yourself and building at least

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<v Speaker 1>a casual friendship. You might not become terribly entwined with

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<v Speaker 1>each other's lives, but it's nice that when you're out

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<v Speaker 1>sick for a week, someone notices and says, we missed

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<v Speaker 1>you when you come back. So look at your life.

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<v Speaker 1>Where could you become a regular? When could you make

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<v Speaker 1>that happen? Who could join you? Or who would you

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<v Speaker 1>like to meet? Answering these questions can bring a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of happiness to your life. In the meantime, This is Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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<v Speaker 1>You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast Pod. That's b the number four then Breakfast pod.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much, should I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

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