1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,200 Speaker 1: It's stay or go. 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 2: Okay, Jenny is here calling a local radio show to 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 2: solve life's problem. 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 1: Jenny, Hey, guys, Hey. 5 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 2: Jenny, what's going on? Tell us your situation? 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 3: Okay, So I do need some advice. 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 4: My husband and I got married last year, and I 8 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 4: know that this is called stay or go, but I'm 9 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 4: not actually considering divorce. 10 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, thanks for calling by. Yes you did, Yes, 11 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: you signed the waiver. 12 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,199 Speaker 2: The waiver says at the end, you have to do 13 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 2: whatever we tell you have to. You have to divorce 14 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:37,840 Speaker 2: the man if we tell you to divorce the man. 15 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 2: That's that's part of the people don't realize this. It's 16 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 2: a waiver. People have to sign it and they have 17 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,159 Speaker 2: to do what we decide at the end. 18 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,480 Speaker 4: Go ahead, Jenny, Well, I want your opinion on something 19 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 4: that has actually been affecting our marriage though, so I 20 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 4: haven't changed my last name to his like I originally planned. 21 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 3: Prior to the marriage. 22 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: We discussed it. 23 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 4: And I said I would do it, but I'm kind 24 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,680 Speaker 4: of changing my tune now. 25 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:05,759 Speaker 1: And I don't want to. 26 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 4: But it's because I'm really proud of being a lawyer, 27 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 4: and I'm proud of my name in my line of work. 28 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 3: And I'm the one that. 29 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 4: Went to law school and busted my butt, not my husband. 30 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 3: It's my name. 31 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 4: And also, you know, my dad is my hero and 32 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 4: it's his name, so I want to honor him also, 33 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 4: and basically. 34 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:32,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to change it anymore. Meanwhile, well give 35 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:32,960 Speaker 1: me well, yeah, I'm sorry. 36 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 4: No, he's devastated. He's not happy about it. He said, 37 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:41,559 Speaker 4: I've always dreamed of having the woman I love take 38 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,319 Speaker 4: my last name, and it's something that heightened when he 39 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 4: met me, and he's really been looking forward to it 40 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 4: that he barely asks me for anything. This is the 41 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 4: one thing and it's gotten his hopes up. I mean, 42 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 4: it's been. 43 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: Causing some issues at home. 44 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 4: And while I do feel bad that I changed my mind, 45 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 4: I think it's okay that we change your mind about things, 46 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 4: you know, once they marrinate. And I want to know, 47 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 4: I want your advice. 48 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 2: Why did you tell him that you would if you 49 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 2: if you don't want to. I mean, like these aren't 50 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 2: new things, right, Like you probably were a lawyer, your 51 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 2: dad was, you're here. All these reasons existed before. So 52 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 2: why was it okay before and it's not okay now? 53 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 4: Maybe because I had time to think about it. It 54 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:35,079 Speaker 4: wasn't right away, and now I'm thinking, maybe it's important 55 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 4: to have my name because of my dad and because 56 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 4: of my you know, pride to myself. 57 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 2: I guess I just wonder what changed, because you could 58 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 2: have said no before, you know, you could have said, hey, 59 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: look the all these things, all these reasons are why 60 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 2: I want to keep my name. But I still want 61 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 2: to be married to you now. Granted, I don't think 62 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 2: you have a right to change your mind. It's your name. 63 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 2: You've changed your mind, You've created an identity for yourself, 64 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:03,119 Speaker 2: a brand. Again, there's this familial pride, all these different things. 65 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,959 Speaker 2: I guess I don't know why you can't. I don't 66 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 2: have an issue with this. You change your mind, How 67 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 2: does that? How does that change the fundamentals of your 68 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 2: marriage at all? It doesn't. You still love the guy. 69 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 2: Everything is exactly the same. You just decided that you're 70 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 2: not okay with this. You are right to it. 71 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: It's your name. 72 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 5: It's the one thing, though, that he's asking her for. 73 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 5: The one thing he's asking I think. 74 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 1: That's not true. 75 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 2: That's the one thing he's asking for, But how many 76 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 2: other things are implied in a relationship? Or in marriage 77 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 2: that he's saying that's the one thing he's asking. He's 78 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 2: also asking for love and affection and loyalty and all 79 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 2: these things that she's giving back to him. 80 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: This is this is vanity. Wow, Okay, what do you mean? 81 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 3: I mean, it's your partner is your husband? 82 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 5: If you you took on this Marrior, you guys married, 83 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 5: you are one now, So can't you just maybe hyphenate 84 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 5: his name at least at the very least he wants 85 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 5: you to be missus Jones or whatever, Like, can you 86 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 5: even consider that at all? 87 00:03:58,440 --> 00:03:59,839 Speaker 3: Like that's this one. 88 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: I'm a little I'm a. 89 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 2: Little surprised by you, Kiki, because you are a strong, 90 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 2: independent type a woman period. And I know, and I'm 91 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 2: not I'm not trying to pin you on this, but 92 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 2: I know that you believe that a woman or a 93 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 2: man has the right to change their mind about things. 94 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 3: I absolutely believe that. 95 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 5: But as I'm mature, Okay, I'm a little bit more 96 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 5: mature since firm. 97 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,160 Speaker 1: When did that happen? I was going to say it 98 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 1: was the weekend. Interesting, I can kind of see it. 99 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: I can sort of see it, except for your viewpoint 100 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: on this. 101 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 3: Seriously, Like it's not a lie. 102 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 5: He's not asking for the world like in there, there's 103 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 5: a way that you can hyphenate your name and still 104 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 5: honor your father, still keep your name. You don't have 105 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 5: to go change your business cards. But if he wants 106 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 5: to say this is missus so and so, like, why 107 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:44,720 Speaker 5: not do that for your partner? 108 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: Is that an option? Would you hyphenate? 109 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 3: I would consider hyphenating. 110 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 4: It's just I want to carry my dad's name, like 111 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 4: he basically came to the US with nothing and gave 112 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 4: me everything that I feel like that's how I can 113 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 4: honor my dad. So there's a way for me to 114 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 4: hyphenate but still use my dad's name my name. 115 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: Then I would consider that. 116 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, you were asking her kind of like what's changed, 117 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 6: right Fred? You were saying, you know, you agree to it. 118 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 2: I was just curious, Yeah, why was it a good 119 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 2: idea before and not a good idea? 120 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 6: I think it could be a form of I don't 121 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 6: want to call it cold feet because I don't think 122 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 6: it's the same thing. But I think when you're about 123 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 6: to make that change, I can see how you do. 124 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,040 Speaker 3: You do switch up and you change your mind. I 125 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 3: did that. 126 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 6: I was standing in the Las Vegas Courthouse, and I said, 127 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 6: I don't want to change it, and my husband said, 128 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 6: I wish we talked about this prior, because we're standing 129 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 6: in front of this person. We got to sign this paperwork, 130 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 6: and now we're over here debating about a last name. 131 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 6: He had every right to feel that way, and I 132 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 6: did sign the paperwork as his last name. 133 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 3: The thing is, I never went to go change it, 134 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,599 Speaker 3: and I chose not to. 135 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 6: Yeah, I chose not to because I was like, I 136 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 6: just don't want to go through the hassle of it. 137 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 3: I really don't. It's not a hassle. He's not a hassle. 138 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 6: It's just I didn't want to refeels laughing because I 139 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 6: know that's what he wants his wife to do. 140 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 3: I know women have to be the ones to do it. 141 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,239 Speaker 3: That's another question. 142 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 7: Why so I never I never said I never. I 143 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 7: was never like, all right, you're taking my last name. 144 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 7: It's just the fact that Jess says it's it's too hard. 145 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,359 Speaker 7: There's so much things to do. 146 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: I'm like there is. I'm like, it's is it that hard? 147 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 7: Like, yeah, you get new numbers, you get new credit cards, 148 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 7: you get but it's like, so it's not worth it though, 149 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 7: like like it's been we've been married for seven years. 150 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: She still has her last name. I could see if 151 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,479 Speaker 1: I had kids some uniformity. 152 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 2: And I also and by the way, Jenny, I'm gonna 153 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 2: take some phone calls on this, so have your radio one. 154 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 1: But thank you. 155 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,280 Speaker 2: Well, now we're gonna talk about you behind your back. 156 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 2: It's our favorite part. So thank you. 157 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 1: Have a good day. 158 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:37,280 Speaker 2: Okay, thanks eight five five, five nine one one three five. 159 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 1: You can call it text the same number. 160 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 2: I think I would not have any issue if if 161 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 2: I married somebody who didn't want to take my name 162 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 2: for whatever reason, especially if it was reasons like this. 163 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 2: She was proud of her own name for some reason. 164 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 2: But I have to say that because the Frederick name 165 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 2: only lives on with me at this point, because my 166 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 2: sister is she took her husband's name, and her kids 167 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 2: have there's no Frederick involved, and they're also girls, and 168 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 2: so I don't really know what happens with that. But 169 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 2: if I ever were to have a kid, it would 170 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 2: be important to me for the child to have my name, simply, 171 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 2: especially if it were a boy, simply because that's the 172 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 2: only the Frederick name, at least as it pertains to me, 173 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 2: dies with me, and it has meaning because it was 174 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 2: not my birth last name. It was the name that 175 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 2: my mom got from my sister and me when she 176 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 2: got divorced. We all took her maiden name, which is 177 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 2: pretty rare, that's not often granted, and it was in 178 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 2: this case. So my last name actually changed in fourth grade, 179 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 2: which is where the Fred nickname came from, because I 180 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 2: come to school and I have a new last name, 181 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 2: and everyone called me Fred. They were making fun of me. 182 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 2: And then you've heard the story before, then you can 183 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 2: be telling you haven't. It's one of my ten stories. 184 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 2: And my grandfather picked me it from school because it 185 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 2: was his last name and he didn't have sons, so 186 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 2: I was his son. He had three daughters. And I 187 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 2: was upset and I said, they were making fun of me. 188 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 2: They call me Fred. And to this Dad do not 189 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 2: know if it's true, but he said, well, that was 190 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 2: my nickname. His nickname was Fritz. I never heard Fred. 191 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 2: I think he lied. I think he's a liar. But 192 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 2: my grandfather lied to me. But nonetheless, that immediately became 193 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 2: I embraced it and immediately became my nickname. And there 194 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 2: you have it. So it would be important for me. 195 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 2: I think if ever someone were unlucky enough to be 196 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 2: impregnated by me to then have to you know that 197 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 2: that would be important. 198 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: But otherwise I don't care. 199 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 7: Yeah, I'll also say that when it's very when we 200 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 7: go places, like, we get certain looks. 201 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, like what is your relate? 202 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 7: Like I'll say my last name, and they'll be like, 203 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,719 Speaker 7: what's your name, and then she'll say her last name. 204 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 7: So like and we got two kids. I'm like, it 205 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 7: does but even at school. Even at school, like she's 206 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 7: listed as one parent under her last name. I was like, 207 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 7: are we And then I'm the one that comes to 208 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 7: pick the kids up and takes them off. 209 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,520 Speaker 1: Like are we together? Are we not together? It's a 210 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:54,680 Speaker 1: very weird look, but like to me, that's how it looks. 211 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: We go to the doctor, we got two different names. 212 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 7: Our kids have my last name, so it's like a 213 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 7: weird I get this weird vibe every time he goes somewhere. 214 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 7: We got to give our names. I'm like, uh yeah, 215 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,959 Speaker 7: but like we're wearing rings. I'm like, it's so it's 216 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 7: so confusing. I feel like it's so confusing to people 217 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 7: sometimes if he could be disappointed and his feelings can 218 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 7: be heard. But if this is the biggest problem that 219 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 7: they have, that she changed her mind about her own identity, 220 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 7: I don't know how far I would push that again. 221 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 7: If everything else is functioning and great, we're talking about 222 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 7: something that she has to do. She has to change 223 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 7: her name, she has to go to the court and 224 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 7: get her you know whatever, all of her paperwork changed 225 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 7: and credit credited for a credit cards and bank account. 226 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 7: She has to do all that, not to mention the 227 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 7: fact that it's I would imagine it's it's somewhat of 228 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 7: a psychological shift too, especially if you believe that you're 229 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 7: honoring a parent or a family member that you love. 230 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: I don't like that. 231 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 7: I don't like that idea of her like, oh, it's 232 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 7: my dad's last name, I'm honoring my dad. 233 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,959 Speaker 1: I'm like, but you are. 234 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 7: This is your family now, This is who you married, 235 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 7: if you have kids, like you are, this is your 236 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 7: unit now, Like this is your fan. Yes, your deb's 237 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 7: your dad, but he's not going to be around forever, 238 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 7: you know what I'm saying. 239 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna say WHOA. 240 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 2: I guess I'm somebody I pick and she's the trends 241 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 2: or not the trends, the traditions I think that I honor. 242 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 2: For example, I don't care about this. Sure it would 243 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 2: be nice, but I don't care my mom hyphenated her 244 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 2: last name. 245 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 1: It it's fine. 246 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 3: I mean, if we want to talk about the history 247 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 3: of like why. 248 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, but like another but yes. 249 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 2: What I was going to say is I still believe 250 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 2: that someday I will ask a woman's father for quote unquote, 251 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 2: not permission, but blessing. And there are people, I mean, 252 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 2: we've done this topic over the years and people who 253 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 2: have been on this show have been like, that is insane, 254 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 2: that's ridiculous, it's antiquated as property, all this bs And 255 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 2: I'm like, no, it's respect, it's respect like this. This 256 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 2: woman is one of the most you created it. Hopefully 257 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 2: you guys have a great relationship. It's one of the 258 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 2: most important things, if not the most important thing in 259 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 2: your life. The least I can do is take the 260 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,960 Speaker 2: time to look you in the eye and tell you 261 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 2: what I know the promises that. 262 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 1: I intend to uphold. That's the least I can do. 263 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I like that one. 264 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 2: It has nothing to do with property, nothing. It's simply 265 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 2: like I would be upset if I found out that 266 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,680 Speaker 2: Polly or May my nieces got it. I would have 267 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 2: been upset if Amanda had gotten engaged and Colin didn't 268 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 2: take the time to ask any of us. And by 269 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 2: the way, we can say no and he can still 270 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 2: do it because it's up to her. But he not 271 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 2: only asked my dad, but he asked me, and my 272 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 2: sister told him that he had to, that we both 273 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 2: had to, you know, and my dad actually kind of 274 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 2: told him no the first time. My Dad's like, I 275 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 2: don't know about this. He knew. 276 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 1: My dad is so savage for that. 277 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 5: Colin knew that it was important to Amanda to get 278 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 5: your approval, right, He did it because he loved her 279 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 5: so kind of in this case, like it's okay to 280 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 5: have your independence and feel how you feel, but you 281 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,200 Speaker 5: can't take your partner's feelings into consideration, like it's bothering him, 282 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 5: you know. 283 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it makes sense. I remember what I 284 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 2: said to him. I think I said because he asked 285 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,079 Speaker 2: as my dad and then he asked me. We were all 286 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 2: in New York on for I think it was her 287 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,600 Speaker 2: birthday for a trip, and so he asked us on 288 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,199 Speaker 2: the same day, and I knew that he had asked 289 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 2: dad and that Dad was shook. And then he came 290 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 2: to me and he was like, your dad kind of 291 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 2: said no, what do you think? And I go no, no, no, no. 292 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,480 Speaker 2: He said what do you think? And I said, what 293 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 2: did my dad say? He was kind of no, And 294 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 2: I was like, well, you might want to work on 295 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 2: that answer the. 296 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 7: Time. 297 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:30,120 Speaker 2: But obviously we, you know, have come a long long way. 298 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 2: But Brittany, Hi, how are you Hi? 299 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 8: Good warning her? 300 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: Are you very well? Thanks for calling? So stare go. 301 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 2: This woman is having an issue in her relationship because 302 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,959 Speaker 2: her husband, they're married, and they have a great relationship 303 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 2: by her own admission, but she had agreed to take 304 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 2: his last name, and then now that they're married and whatever, 305 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 2: does not want to for I think pretty good reasons. 306 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 1: What do you think? 307 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 8: Yeah? So, I mean, I see both sides that you're 308 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 8: really so mad at me. I agree with Rufio, have a. 309 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: Good day I talk. 310 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 8: So, like I said, I see both sides, I totally do. 311 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 8: But like he said, this is her family now she 312 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 8: needs to take her husband's kneelings into considerations. Obviously it's 313 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 8: really important to him. I mean I get that it's 314 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 8: important to her too, for like her law firm and stuff, 315 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,079 Speaker 8: But I mean, she could just hypenate it and then 316 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 8: she really doesn't have to change much like her name 317 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 8: within her law firm, you know, like I get that 318 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 8: or like for whatever reasons, but like, I mean, she 319 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 8: could at least like compromise with him and like hypenate it. 320 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,960 Speaker 8: Like I don't understand what's so bad about that. 321 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I think you're right, Thank you, Brittany. I 322 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 2: think it's a good compromise, and she seemed maybe open 323 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 2: to that. 324 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: Have a good day, Thank you too. 325 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,959 Speaker 2: I think this actually happened in my life too, because 326 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 2: you know, if you don't, we've talked about it a 327 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,560 Speaker 2: million times. But when I turned eighteen, I was adopted 328 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 2: by the man who raised me, who is not my 329 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 2: birth father, and I think he probably would have liked 330 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 2: it had I taken his last name as my last name, 331 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 2: which I was not opposed to. His last name is 332 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 2: my middle name because I didn't have a middle name. 333 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,080 Speaker 2: But I was not going to give up Frederick for 334 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 2: the reasons I've already said. It was too important to 335 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 2: my mom to have. Because again I don't know if 336 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,319 Speaker 2: you Hopefully a lot of people listening have not been divorced. 337 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 2: But it's not real common when when the male and 338 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 2: the female figure are fighting for, you know, whatever they 339 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 2: can get in a divorce, it's not super common for 340 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 2: the female to win that one. And we did, plus 341 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 2: my grandfather and everything else. So I don't think my 342 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 2: dad's upset with me because his name is part of 343 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 2: my name, but I'm sure he would have liked it 344 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,480 Speaker 2: because I'm his son. And then my sister went and 345 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 2: threw both of them boys somewhere. Hey, Rachel, that went 346 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 2: overwhelm Rachel. Hi, how you doing O great? 347 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 1: My poor sister takes the brunt of no one. 348 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 2: No one in the world can complain about not having 349 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 2: a say except for my sister. That woman. And by 350 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 2: the way, she has the phone over she can call 351 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 2: up here anytimes. She just doesn't listen, which is probably 352 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 2: good for her mental health. What did you want to say? 353 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 9: I'm gonna fix everything right here. 354 00:14:59,560 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: Good. 355 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 9: I'm going to tell you what, thank you. I'm going 356 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,000 Speaker 9: to tell you what my mom does. 357 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: I think it's genius. She continues to. 358 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 9: Practice her real estate business under her maid's name, so 359 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 9: that's what she used to advertise. That's what she uses 360 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 9: for all like business and professional purposes. But legally she 361 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 9: has changed her last name to her husband's name. So 362 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 9: for all personal reasons, personal mail, you know, to close 363 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 9: press and stuff, she uses my dad's name. And I 364 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 9: think that that is the perfect middle ground here, because 365 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 9: then you're, you know, Jenny's still able to honor her 366 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 9: dad with his last name, like carrying on the lawyer's profession. 367 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:40,240 Speaker 9: But also she can still take her husband's name and 368 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 9: make him happy. 369 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 2: I agree with you some form of compromise here, but 370 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 2: he's going to have to accept that otherwise I don't 371 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 2: think he's getting anything. 372 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 7: I don't think she's going to do it. What what if? 373 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 7: When do they have kids? 374 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: Listening? So many? Erica had that play Rachel, thank you 375 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: have a good day. 376 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 6: Okay, they have kids going to take what would they pick? 377 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 3: I picked my daughter to have her dad's last name. 378 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 1: Okay, but she wants to honor her dad. Well, if 379 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 1: they have a boy that. 380 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 3: Doesn't like, that's that's their family. That's the baby. That's 381 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 3: not dad's baby. You don't know that that's father's baby. 382 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 3: That's her husband's baby. 383 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 7: Yeah, but she could have the same last name as 384 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 7: her mom. The baby could have the same last name 385 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 7: as her mom. What they want, That's what I'm saying. 386 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 7: But that's different. That's a child you're saying. You're saying 387 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 7: that the child defers to the father. 388 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 3: Like, yeah, I would believe. 389 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 6: So if I have a baby, I do she has 390 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 6: her father's last name, I'll give baby. 391 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, is this kid right here? 392 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 3: I don't think you guys knew, but I have a baby. 393 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 7: But a lot of times they differ because of insurance 394 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 7: reasons or whatever. You know what I'm saying, that's whore 395 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 7: the insurance is under Like, like, I have the insurance, 396 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 7: so obviously the kids have my last name. But but 397 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 7: like if they if they can't decide on their last 398 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 7: names as a couple when they have a kid, and 399 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 7: if it happens to be a boy, and she's like, oh, 400 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 7: let's honor my dad by giving them my last name. 401 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 3: And now we're like talking different stories. 402 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 6: I'm just saying, I know, I think at the end 403 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:01,960 Speaker 6: of the day, you got to give the kid the 404 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 6: dad's last name for insurance reasons. 405 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 3: Also, that's half of the dad, Like, that's dad's baby. 406 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 1: I would still argue. 407 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 2: I mean, yes, I would like that, but I would 408 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 2: still argue this is all up to the comfort level 409 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 2: of both parents. I would I would say that's there, 410 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 2: but I agree that that would be nice, especially if 411 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 2: I had a son. But I don't know that. I 412 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,199 Speaker 2: don't know anything should be considered automatic anymore. 413 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 3: Baby like, h Well. 414 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I get you, Erica. 415 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 2: Hi, So you're saying she should take his last name 416 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,359 Speaker 2: because of the kids. 417 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,399 Speaker 10: Yes, I kind of agree with what Rachel was saying. 418 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 10: Oh wait, sorry, Hi, you can hear me? 419 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 1: Right? Oh yeah, no, very much? 420 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 9: Ye? 421 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: Hi, how you doing loud and clear? Hi? 422 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 10: Sorry? I agree with what Rachel was saying about taking 423 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 10: it or having things under her name for business purposes. 424 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 10: So a little bit of a backstory is that my 425 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,639 Speaker 10: husband was not really a fan of his family, so 426 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 10: we really considered taking my last name when we married 427 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 10: for our family. However, he ended up keeping his name. 428 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 10: I kept mine, and when I had my daughter, we 429 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 10: realized that it was very hard with her name being 430 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,120 Speaker 10: the same last name as his and mine being different. 431 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 10: So kind of like she said, for kind of like 432 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 10: you guys mentioned for insurance purposes, for pickup at school, 433 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,680 Speaker 10: things like that. So eventually I had to change my name, 434 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 10: and it was my choice, and I was very connected 435 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 10: to my family and my family's history. But that still 436 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 10: is a part of me. And if she wants to 437 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 10: keep her name on things for business purposes or hyphenate, 438 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,399 Speaker 10: she she should. But one of the one of the 439 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:49,880 Speaker 10: things I've discovered after having my husband's last name with 440 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 10: my daughter and us having the same last name, is 441 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 10: that it's not necessarily taking his last name, but it's 442 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 10: having you all as a family as a unit. 443 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, and. 444 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 10: So yeah, so now we're all our family with our 445 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 10: last name. 446 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 1: If that are Erica, well, thank you, have a good day. 447 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 3: Thank you. 448 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,639 Speaker 2: Let's also address one for the thing that has not 449 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 2: been addressing. What is this last name that she's that 450 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,479 Speaker 2: she's taking. What is this last name? 451 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,640 Speaker 3: Is it a better last name? Is it a worse 452 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 3: last name? 453 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:25,520 Speaker 1: Right? 454 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 4: You know? 455 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 3: Is it longer harder to spell? 456 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,880 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean that changes what the initials turn 457 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 1: off all the information. 458 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,959 Speaker 4: I also would like to point out that divorced parents 459 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,640 Speaker 4: do it all the time with two different last names, 460 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 4: and the kids are okay. 461 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 1: The last name is one of the last name is Mayas. 462 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 5: Look at this point, I take you the girl just 463 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 5: just you know, what you're doing. 464 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 3: A reservation is just put missus you know, missus Jones. 465 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 5: Just make her feel good. You ain't got to change 466 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,439 Speaker 5: the paperwork, just put it down there. 467 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 2: Girls just make it look nice, but don't actually fundamentally 468 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 2: change of thing. Yeah, I need to hear all the information. 469 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 2: It's a few things I don't know. A missiles for it. 470 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 2: It's gonna be like a Z e Z. 471 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 3: It's not good. 472 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,120 Speaker 1: Fred Show