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Speaker 1: All right, buckle up, hold on time, We got it

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Speaker 1: all you here it ease? Is that strong? Mary? Thank you? Nephew. Alright, subject,

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Speaker 1: I can date whoever I want what I want to

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I need your point of view on

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Speaker 1: my situation. I'm a very successful black male in my

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Speaker 1: late thirties. I have a career and I'm working on

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Speaker 1: my doctorate degree. I own my own home, and I

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Speaker 1: live a great life. My only problem is that most

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Speaker 1: of my friends that I hang out with are getting married, engaged,

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Speaker 1: or in a very serious relationship, and I am the

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Speaker 1: only one that is still happily single. My male friends

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Speaker 1: are starting to put pressure on me to stress me

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Speaker 1: out about finding one nice female and settling down. A

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Speaker 1: couple of my boys have stopped inviting me to their

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Speaker 1: outings because I am single and their wives don't think

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Speaker 1: they should hang out with me. I will admit I

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Speaker 1: do like to entertain a lot of beautiful women, and

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Speaker 1: I often show up with a real nice looking lady

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Speaker 1: whenever i'm eat up with my friends. My female friends

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Speaker 1: have tried to hook me up with women, but they

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Speaker 1: always strike out and have me on blind dates with

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Speaker 1: the most depressing uninteresting and non motivated women. I am

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Speaker 1: very happy with my life and I date whoever I

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Speaker 1: want to date when I want to date. I'm not

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Speaker 1: a womanizer, and I don't lead uh any of the

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Speaker 1: women to believe I'm ready for a commitment. I want

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Speaker 1: to stay focused on finishing school and advancing in my

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Speaker 1: career right now. So how do I get my friends

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Speaker 1: to see that I'm really okay being happily single. I

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Speaker 1: like hanging out with them, but I can't stand the pressure.

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Speaker 1: What are your thoughts? Well, I gotta tell you, first

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Speaker 1: of all, congratulations on all your accomplishments. Uh, young man,

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Speaker 1: I just say this, listen, Um, your friends are doing

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Speaker 1: what married engage friends do. I mean, all of them

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Speaker 1: are moving on. They're getting married, engaged, having children eventually, etcetera, etcetera.

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Speaker 1: And it's kind of just a natural thing for them

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Speaker 1: to put pressure on you to do the same. It's

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Speaker 1: just like when people get married, you know, and family

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Speaker 1: and friends put pressure on the newly weds to have

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Speaker 1: a baby. It's just that same kind of thing. It's

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Speaker 1: just what people do, uh in these circumstances. I don't

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Speaker 1: have a problem with how you're living your life at all,

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Speaker 1: you're still a young man with goals and dreams to

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Speaker 1: to fulfill, like getting your doctorate. Lofty goals. Here, it's

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Speaker 1: okay to love beautiful women. Who who doesn't love beautiful women?

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Speaker 1: I mean, well maybe your friends, maybe your friends wives don't,

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Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, and understandably so sometimes because they don't

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Speaker 1: want their husbands looking at those beautiful women. Um, we

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Speaker 1: get that. So I just say, you know, life is short.

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Speaker 1: Live your life how you choose. You say you're not

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Speaker 1: a womanizer. Uh, you say you're focused on finishing school

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Speaker 1: and advancing in your career right now. There's absolutely absolutely

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Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. So I say, if you can't

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Speaker 1: stand the pressure from your friends, take a break, get

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Speaker 1: out of that hot kitchen, you know, get some new friends,

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Speaker 1: hang out with them for a while, and and you know,

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Speaker 1: keep the beautiful women coming and live your life. That's

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Speaker 1: what you're supposed to do at this age. Steve, Well,

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Speaker 1: that's what he's supposed to do at that age. That's

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Speaker 1: the problem with the letter. Surely he's in his late thirties.

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Speaker 1: At this point in time, every man knows that it's

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Speaker 1: really time to come on end out to field. Most

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Speaker 1: men know the age late thirties is about the age.

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Speaker 1: If you ain't got it all in by your late thirties, man,

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Speaker 1: we're dealing with some other issues now. He ain't just

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Speaker 1: started liking beautiful women, so that's not the issue. He's

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Speaker 1: in his late thirties, he's got a career, working on

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Speaker 1: his doctorate. All of his boys at that age where

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Speaker 1: they're married or they engaged in their serious relationships. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna start a family. You're in your late thirties, when

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have a son, Man, when you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: a daughter, When you're gonna put somebody's wife up on

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Speaker 1: the When are you gonna put a woman on a

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Speaker 1: pedestal and treat us special instead treating him like everybody else.

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Speaker 1: This game plan has got some holes in it. Partner,

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Speaker 1: you don't see him right now. But I hate to

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Speaker 1: tell you. Some of your friends are right. But if

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Speaker 1: this is the life you choose for yourself, you have

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Speaker 1: every right to choose that life for yourself. But they

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Speaker 1: just know that that's gonna come a time. Man, when

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Speaker 1: you're gonna want to be somebody somebody and you're gonna

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Speaker 1: want want of them women to belong to you, and

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Speaker 1: you want to belong to them. I got the rest

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Speaker 1: of them when we come back after you're listening to

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve, come on part two of your response

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Speaker 1: to today's Strawberry letter. I can date whoever I want

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Speaker 1: when I want. Little to reiterate it, but just a

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Speaker 1: dude in his late thirties, and he just he bawled

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Speaker 1: and he got women and beautiful women. And every time

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Speaker 1: we get invited to a function, he bring another one.

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Speaker 1: And some of his friends are starting to go, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: you need to settle down. But a lot of your

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Speaker 1: friends are getting pressure from their wives and they feelance. See,

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Speaker 1: so now they bringing that pressure to you. Man. We

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Speaker 1: want to hang out with you, man, but now we

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Speaker 1: can't invite you over here because you keep bringing all

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Speaker 1: these trays up in here, and my girl like wow,

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Speaker 1: and you're bringing some bad ones up in there too. Boy,

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Speaker 1: you're putting some fresh on these wives and fiances and

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Speaker 1: they don't like that. I mean, you're bringing some win

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Speaker 1: us up here now, and you're sleeping with all of them. Now.

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Speaker 1: You can say you're not a womanizer, but that you are.

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Speaker 1: But what you call it if you take a bunch

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Speaker 1: of women and you're having your way with them what

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Speaker 1: you call it, though, I'm not a womanizer. Every time

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Speaker 1: you do a funks you got a different woman. But

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Speaker 1: you're bringing all these fine women. But you're trying to

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Speaker 1: tell me, Uncle Steve, you don't wanna sleep with nothing. Boy.

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Speaker 1: Get out of here, boy boy. And the women know that,

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Speaker 1: and they know their husbands know that. Now they want

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Speaker 1: to stop inviting you to stuff because and I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you why, because they think you'd be a bad

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Speaker 1: influence on their husband and their fiances. Birds of a

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Speaker 1: feather flock together. All the cats I hang out would

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Speaker 1: happen to be man, happen to love their wife, happen

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Speaker 1: to have kids. I don't hang out with no single dudes.

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Speaker 1: You don't see me nowhere with Tommy. Tommy's married now.

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Speaker 1: But he don't understand it, you because he keeps talking

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Speaker 1: about the other stuff. Well I just curios. See, curiosity

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Speaker 1: killed the cat. So listen, man, A lot of your

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Speaker 1: boys are trying to convince you because they do care

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Speaker 1: about you genuinely, and then they are they all think

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Speaker 1: they should be growing at the same pace. Well it's

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Speaker 1: not the case. But if this is the life you

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Speaker 1: want to live, man, then that's the life you should live,

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Speaker 1: because if you settle down for somebody else and not yourself,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be back out there with him, and then

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Speaker 1: that ain't no good. So do I have an answer

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Speaker 1: for you? Yeah? I think you should continue to do you,

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Speaker 1: But I want you to understand something that's gonna get

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Speaker 1: old after while. Are you nice right now? You're in

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Speaker 1: your late thirties and you're nice right now, But you

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Speaker 1: gotta start coming on in the barn. Every old horse

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Speaker 1: has to come out the field eventually. Next time you're

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Speaker 1: driving out in the country. You ever seen an old

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Speaker 1: horse in the field got that sway in his back?

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Speaker 1: Stomach damn there on the grass. That's us, that's me,

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Speaker 1: that's Jay, that's you, Tommy. My stomach ain't on the grass,

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Speaker 1: and stop that. Yeah, if you get on your all

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Speaker 1: falls in the damn nearby, and you gonna have a

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Speaker 1: little sway in your back. I saw you little YouTube

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Speaker 1: video the other day. Why I saw it that I

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Speaker 1: ain't finished. I saw him, and it's I know how

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Speaker 1: that worked. I saw all a sudden, you just popping

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Speaker 1: into another Exercilthe I ain't seen no rest of you

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Speaker 1: in the I known there where you gotta rep I

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Speaker 1: saw that. I saw like you're looking good and everything,

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Speaker 1: but you're old, Tommy. You ain't what you was. I'm

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Speaker 1: not the letter, yeah, but I'm just bringing this to

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Speaker 1: your attention that every night we gotta start walking into

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Speaker 1: the bond, because all horse don't look good in the field,

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Speaker 1: all the young horses up on their hind and out

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Speaker 1: to clowning, high stepping, trotting through the field. You're over

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Speaker 1: there looking over the gate stomach, got that dip in

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Speaker 1: your back caused it's time to come on in the

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Speaker 1: bond where it's warm. They feed you in the bond,

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Speaker 1: they wash you in the bond, they bring the oats

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Speaker 1: in the barn. You ain't gonna look good out there

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Speaker 1: after a while. Dog, Don't you think he will? Though

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Speaker 1: he says he's working on his doctorate and advancing his

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Speaker 1: career right now. That don't make you fine, doctor, don't

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Speaker 1: make you friend Ugland people got degreed. I'm just saying

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Speaker 1: he'll settle down. No, he'll settle down when his friends

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Speaker 1: is trying to tell him, well, he's working on he's

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Speaker 1: working on his goals right now. I'm just saying, going

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Speaker 1: and do you dog, stay there, but it's gonna get empty.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be an empty feeling at the while. Now,

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Speaker 1: if you don't want kids, and you don't want a family,

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Speaker 1: and you don't want to share your life for the

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Speaker 1: one particular person, then don't come over here messing with

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Speaker 1: this because that's what you're gonna have to do. So

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Speaker 1: continue to do you until you find the one. But

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Speaker 1: make sure you're looking for the one. See, you probably

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Speaker 1: are looking for the one you like. All that variety,

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Speaker 1: he's not. He's concentrating on his career. And let me

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Speaker 1: ask you a question. Is Jay in there? Yeah? You

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Speaker 1: miss variety? He's speechless right now. He don't want to

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Speaker 1: talk about this because he's got something doing mad. All

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Speaker 1: us lead up to marriage. Do you miss the variety

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Speaker 1: of life? It crosses man? Man from times you're married.

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Speaker 1: Can we beat what I just said? It can cross

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Speaker 1: your mind. It's called temptation. Yielding to it is. Everybody

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Speaker 1: has to face temptation in their life. Everybody about something.

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Speaker 1: It could be stealing, it could be cheating, line, you

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Speaker 1: could be in any number things. Everybody has some shortness

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Speaker 1: or shortcoming in the flesh department. Yeah, looking at people,

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Speaker 1: you ain't got no business looking at I don't know,

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Speaker 1: just wants to work career. Look'd be able to look.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Now, you're telling me I

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Speaker 1: gotta come on into the bar, and I get it,

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Speaker 1: but I'm gonna be grazing for a minute and looking

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Speaker 1: on the world. When you running into the ball, you

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Speaker 1: get asked the question what are you looking at? And

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Speaker 1: they know what the here you looking at? Don't look, Steve,

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Speaker 1: you have a you you you have a way that

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Speaker 1: you don't look right. If a beautiful woman watching in

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Speaker 1: the room, yeah, he wished. No, he says, no, you

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Speaker 1: don't even look over there or something. I'll look over

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Speaker 1: to where they're going. Yeah, and they never looked that.

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Speaker 1: He never looked. And then they crossed the path. And

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Speaker 1: I've got it in right, that's it. I just act

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Speaker 1: like I don't see it at all, exactly said. Alright,

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Speaker 1: we'll email us or Instagram. What's your thoughts on today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey f M. And this Thursday,

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Speaker 1: don't forget at one thirty pm please join me for

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter live after show on Facebook Live. Thank

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Speaker 1: you very much appreciate that coming up in ten minutes

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Speaker 1: more about celebrity family feud with Kim and Kanye and

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Speaker 1: the Kardashians and the West. Right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the Steve Harvey Morning Show