WEBVTT - Stop using the word "busy"

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to stop using the word busy. Now.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that busy seems like a useful way to

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<v Speaker 1>describe our full and active lives, but because I write

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<v Speaker 1>and talk about time, I've become aware of just how

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<v Speaker 1>overused that word is. Think back to the last conversation

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<v Speaker 1>you had with someone about how life was going. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>guessing the conversation with something like this, Hey, Dave, how

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<v Speaker 1>is your weekend? Oh, you know, busy? Or Nancy, haven't

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<v Speaker 1>seen you in a while? How's life? Oh, busy? Then

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<v Speaker 1>you respond with how busy you've been as well. It's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of funny if you think about it, and one

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<v Speaker 1>of the points of conversation is to find common ground.

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<v Speaker 1>And if both of you are extremely busy, then you

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<v Speaker 1>probably don't have time for each other. So what's the point.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course, I know people tend not to mean busy

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<v Speaker 1>in the sense that they have no time to talk

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<v Speaker 1>with the other person. It's more a statement that you

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<v Speaker 1>have a lot filling your time, which means that demand

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<v Speaker 1>for your time is high. And since people need you

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<v Speaker 1>professionally and personally life is going well. Busy tends to

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<v Speaker 1>mean fine, but I think it's worth striking busy as

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<v Speaker 1>the default response when someone asks you how life is

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<v Speaker 1>going first, it's not really helpful for moving the conversation along.

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<v Speaker 1>Specifics are better here. If someone asks how your weekend was,

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<v Speaker 1>instead of saying busy, you can say great, we tried

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<v Speaker 1>that new Mexican restaurant at the mall with some friends

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<v Speaker 1>and it was pretty good. Your colleague might volunteer that

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<v Speaker 1>he likes Mexican food as well, and next thing you know,

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<v Speaker 1>your whole team is going out to compare the different

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<v Speaker 1>types of guacamole at that taco stand down the street.

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<v Speaker 1>Or you find out that the neighbor you're telling this

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<v Speaker 1>too is friends with the owner of that Mexican place

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<v Speaker 1>at the mall. Next time you go, you're getting free Margarita's.

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<v Speaker 1>None of this might come from simply deeming the weekend busy.

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<v Speaker 1>I think the more important reason for getting rid of

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<v Speaker 1>this word, though, is that life is all about perception.

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<v Speaker 1>The more often we say we're busy, the more we

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<v Speaker 1>come to believe it. We start to believe we don't

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<v Speaker 1>have time for the things that matter to us. We

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<v Speaker 1>don't have time to pursue that passion project, or take

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<v Speaker 1>night classes or go for that promotion. We're so busy,

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<v Speaker 1>how could we possibly volunteer regularly, or host a book

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<v Speaker 1>club or all sorts of other things that would add

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<v Speaker 1>joy and meaning to our lives? And even more insidious,

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<v Speaker 1>When we believe that we're so busy, we can find

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<v Speaker 1>it hard to relax. We feel like there's always something

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<v Speaker 1>else we should be doing, so when downtime appears, will

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<v Speaker 1>fill it with whatever is right in front of us.

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<v Speaker 1>Probably big chunks of that stuff doesn't have to happen.

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<v Speaker 1>But try telling that to someone who's wedded to the

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<v Speaker 1>identity of being a busy, busy person. I know this

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<v Speaker 1>is easier said than done. I can stop using the

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<v Speaker 1>word busy easily enough, especially when people ask me about

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<v Speaker 1>my weekend. But getting rid of the scarcity mindset about

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<v Speaker 1>time that it represents is a different matter like anyone else.

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<v Speaker 1>When I'm looking at a long list of work tasks

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<v Speaker 1>and then i realized that, hey, my four kids all

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<v Speaker 1>have places they need to be in, lengthy school assignments

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<v Speaker 1>and whatever else, I can feel frantic. It can feel

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<v Speaker 1>like there isn't enough time, but time just is what

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<v Speaker 1>it is. I try to repeat a phrase that I

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<v Speaker 1>wrote into my time management fable Juliette School of Possibilities Juliette.

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<v Speaker 1>The mentor figure tells anyone who asks that I have

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<v Speaker 1>all the time in the world. I love these words.

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<v Speaker 1>I have all the time in the world. Rushing just

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<v Speaker 1>makes me feel rushed. Talking about being busy makes me

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<v Speaker 1>feel busy. It may not be true that time is abundant,

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<v Speaker 1>but we're much better off telling ourselves that because all

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<v Speaker 1>of time is a negotiation with others, with the clock

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<v Speaker 1>with ourselves. In any negotiation, we come out better when

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<v Speaker 1>we go in knowing we already have what we need.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything else is just a bonus. When time feels abundant,

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<v Speaker 1>we make wise choices with it. We revel in spending

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<v Speaker 1>time with people we love, and we devote any time

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<v Speaker 1>we can to our passions. When we feel busy, we're

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<v Speaker 1>less likely to do that. So try listening to yourself today.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you use the word busy all the time? What

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<v Speaker 1>are you trying to convey by that? Try being more direct.

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<v Speaker 1>If you need help, ask for it. If you have

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<v Speaker 1>more obligations for a day, then seems like they'll fit.

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<v Speaker 1>See what you can jettison, but at least for a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit, try getting rid of the word busy from

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<v Speaker 1>your vocabulary and see what happens in the meantime. This

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<v Speaker 1>is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the

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<v Speaker 1>most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear

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<v Speaker 1>from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying

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<v Speaker 1>in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio.

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