Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to stop using the word busy. Now.
Speaker 1: I know that busy seems like a useful way to
Speaker 1: describe our full and active lives, but because I write
Speaker 1: and talk about time, I've become aware of just how
Speaker 1: overused that word is. Think back to the last conversation
Speaker 1: you had with someone about how life was going. I'm
Speaker 1: guessing the conversation with something like this, Hey, Dave, how
Speaker 1: is your weekend? Oh, you know, busy? Or Nancy, haven't
Speaker 1: seen you in a while? How's life? Oh, busy? Then
Speaker 1: you respond with how busy you've been as well. It's
Speaker 1: kind of funny if you think about it, and one
Speaker 1: of the points of conversation is to find common ground.
Speaker 1: And if both of you are extremely busy, then you
Speaker 1: probably don't have time for each other. So what's the point.
Speaker 1: Of course, I know people tend not to mean busy
Speaker 1: in the sense that they have no time to talk
Speaker 1: with the other person. It's more a statement that you
Speaker 1: have a lot filling your time, which means that demand
Speaker 1: for your time is high. And since people need you
Speaker 1: professionally and personally life is going well. Busy tends to
Speaker 1: mean fine, but I think it's worth striking busy as
Speaker 1: the default response when someone asks you how life is
Speaker 1: going first, it's not really helpful for moving the conversation along.
Speaker 1: Specifics are better here. If someone asks how your weekend was,
Speaker 1: instead of saying busy, you can say great, we tried
Speaker 1: that new Mexican restaurant at the mall with some friends
Speaker 1: and it was pretty good. Your colleague might volunteer that
Speaker 1: he likes Mexican food as well, and next thing you know,
Speaker 1: your whole team is going out to compare the different
Speaker 1: types of guacamole at that taco stand down the street.
Speaker 1: Or you find out that the neighbor you're telling this
Speaker 1: too is friends with the owner of that Mexican place
Speaker 1: at the mall. Next time you go, you're getting free Margarita's.
Speaker 1: None of this might come from simply deeming the weekend busy.
Speaker 1: I think the more important reason for getting rid of
Speaker 1: this word, though, is that life is all about perception.
Speaker 1: The more often we say we're busy, the more we
Speaker 1: come to believe it. We start to believe we don't
Speaker 1: have time for the things that matter to us. We
Speaker 1: don't have time to pursue that passion project, or take
Speaker 1: night classes or go for that promotion. We're so busy,
Speaker 1: how could we possibly volunteer regularly, or host a book
Speaker 1: club or all sorts of other things that would add
Speaker 1: joy and meaning to our lives? And even more insidious,
Speaker 1: When we believe that we're so busy, we can find
Speaker 1: it hard to relax. We feel like there's always something
Speaker 1: else we should be doing, so when downtime appears, will
Speaker 1: fill it with whatever is right in front of us.
Speaker 1: Probably big chunks of that stuff doesn't have to happen.
Speaker 1: But try telling that to someone who's wedded to the
Speaker 1: identity of being a busy, busy person. I know this
Speaker 1: is easier said than done. I can stop using the
Speaker 1: word busy easily enough, especially when people ask me about
Speaker 1: my weekend. But getting rid of the scarcity mindset about
Speaker 1: time that it represents is a different matter like anyone else.
Speaker 1: When I'm looking at a long list of work tasks
Speaker 1: and then i realized that, hey, my four kids all
Speaker 1: have places they need to be in, lengthy school assignments
Speaker 1: and whatever else, I can feel frantic. It can feel
Speaker 1: like there isn't enough time, but time just is what
Speaker 1: it is. I try to repeat a phrase that I
Speaker 1: wrote into my time management fable Juliette School of Possibilities Juliette.
Speaker 1: The mentor figure tells anyone who asks that I have
Speaker 1: all the time in the world. I love these words.
Speaker 1: I have all the time in the world. Rushing just
Speaker 1: makes me feel rushed. Talking about being busy makes me
Speaker 1: feel busy. It may not be true that time is abundant,
Speaker 1: but we're much better off telling ourselves that because all
Speaker 1: of time is a negotiation with others, with the clock
Speaker 1: with ourselves. In any negotiation, we come out better when
Speaker 1: we go in knowing we already have what we need.
Speaker 1: Everything else is just a bonus. When time feels abundant,
Speaker 1: we make wise choices with it. We revel in spending
Speaker 1: time with people we love, and we devote any time
Speaker 1: we can to our passions. When we feel busy, we're
Speaker 1: less likely to do that. So try listening to yourself today.
Speaker 1: Do you use the word busy all the time? What
Speaker 1: are you trying to convey by that? Try being more direct.
Speaker 1: If you need help, ask for it. If you have
Speaker 1: more obligations for a day, then seems like they'll fit.
Speaker 1: See what you can jettison, but at least for a
Speaker 1: little bit, try getting rid of the word busy from
Speaker 1: your vocabulary and see what happens in the meantime. This
Speaker 1: is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the
Speaker 1: most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear
Speaker 1: from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook
Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four,
Speaker 1: then breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me
Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media
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Speaker 1: the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying
Speaker 1: in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio.
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