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Speaker 1: Nicky Giser Podcast N years Nicky, Hello, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what sound just came out of my throat at the

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Speaker 1: end there it was like a weird rattle. Oh, it's early,

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Speaker 1: as it's early Shirley, I hope there's a woman listening

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Speaker 1: named Shirley. No one names our kids Shirley anymore. It's

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Speaker 1: a great name. Um damn, it's early, uh seven fifteen

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Speaker 1: over on the West coast. And uh we're doing this

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Speaker 1: early today because Andrew's got to hit the road and

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Speaker 1: um he's going to visit his family. Be a good,

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Speaker 1: good uncle, brother, brother, uh son, Father's day? You get it? Um?

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Speaker 1: And uh no, you almost like didn't wake up for

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Speaker 1: today because your phone, as you said earlier, committed suicide. Yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Talked about this because it is bizarre when your phone

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Speaker 1: decides to just stop. Your worlds also decides to stop

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Speaker 1: like it's you don't even like. It's unbelievable, how crippling

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Speaker 1: and uh just how much your a phone malfunction can

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Speaker 1: ruin your life. What happened, Well, I dropped it a

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Speaker 1: couple of days ago, so the home screen stopped working.

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Speaker 1: Did you drop it from a tall building or it?

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Speaker 1: Did it leap from a parking garage. Did it really

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Speaker 1: actually try to commit suicide? You know when you like

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Speaker 1: drop your phone and it hits your foot and then

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Speaker 1: it's skids and you're like and it almost goes into

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Speaker 1: the subway. You're like, oh my god, I almost kicked

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Speaker 1: my phone. Okay, so you dropped it and then it's

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Speaker 1: an iPhone, right, Yeah? I have an iPhone or have

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Speaker 1: Rest in Peace, And yesterday I was using it and

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Speaker 1: it died, you know, like the battery. Are we talking

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Speaker 1: what number we got? Because I don't even know what

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Speaker 1: number I'm on. I'm guessing mine is like a fucking

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Speaker 1: what what? What? What's the what's the latest? Is the latest? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I think I have an eleven too, Like I think

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Speaker 1: I do have an eleven, remember a new one? But

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Speaker 1: mine was the seven. What you're still pressing the button

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Speaker 1: to get back to the home screen. Oh, girl, no,

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Speaker 1: I missed that button. I was. I stayed on that

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Speaker 1: button for a while. I felt like when I got

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Speaker 1: my new phone, it was like, girl, get get rid

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Speaker 1: of the button, but you were still on the button.

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Speaker 1: My mom is the only person that still has that button.

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Speaker 1: I loved the button, but yes, you became depended on

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Speaker 1: it and now, so so what what stopped working? First?

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Speaker 1: The well, the battery was just running out all the time, right,

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Speaker 1: so it was always having to be plugged in. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was on self destruct mode. It was like it

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Speaker 1: tells you it needs help, It leaves you sign it's

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Speaker 1: crying for help, and we ignore it. Andrew famously like

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Speaker 1: his phone in the Cayman Islands, was so discussing. First

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Speaker 1: of all, he is too cool for a case, which

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Speaker 1: you can't be too cool for a case. I think

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Speaker 1: he still doesn't use a case, and the case is

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Speaker 1: made for people like Andrew Colin. I mean they that

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Speaker 1: are that drop things that don't really treat me too.

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Speaker 1: By the way I hashtag, I am also someone who

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Speaker 1: doesn't treat things very well. And I throw them and

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Speaker 1: I dropped them and uh like I, um, did I

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Speaker 1: tell you about the rings I damaged? Oh yeah you did.

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Speaker 1: This is a prime example. I don't think I talked

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Speaker 1: about it on the show because I was so scared

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Speaker 1: my mom might hear it. Um. I when I went

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Speaker 1: to the I Heart Radio Awards speaking of this is

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Speaker 1: why we can't have nice things, I was when you

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Speaker 1: get styled for these things, your stylists get loaned out

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Speaker 1: stuff that they needed then return. I got eight rings

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Speaker 1: given to me, one on each finger that isn't my thumb,

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Speaker 1: and I was like bedazzled with these gold cool rings.

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Speaker 1: And they were like, these are really expensive. Don't lose them.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I will not. They were are tight,

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Speaker 1: and like thank you for saying that, because I probably

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Speaker 1: would if you didn't say that, but like cool, so

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Speaker 1: I was like, don't lose them, don't lose them. I

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Speaker 1: clapped so much that night that I damaged. They got

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Speaker 1: the rings back. One of the rings broke and I

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Speaker 1: knew that, and I was like, that's going to be

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Speaker 1: costly because something snapped off it. I don't even know

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Speaker 1: if it was a diamond. I don't know if it

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Speaker 1: was like I didn't even look at the rings closely,

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Speaker 1: but something snapped off one of the rings. But then

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Speaker 1: I was so clap heavy the whole night that they

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Speaker 1: wrote me back and they go what happened to these?

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Speaker 1: Like was there some kind of accident. It reminded me

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Speaker 1: again of Seinfeld when he left his suitcase in a

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Speaker 1: meeting with a recorder in it so he could hear

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Speaker 1: his coworkers talk about him and he gets he goes

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Speaker 1: back in to get his suitcase and he listens to

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Speaker 1: the recording to see if there's coworkers are talking about

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Speaker 1: him so funny and uh he hears the recording and

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Speaker 1: it's like, hey, John, could you move that chair? Oh God?

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Speaker 1: And then you hear and and everyone's like what could

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Speaker 1: that have been? What happened? It's just like, oh, they

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Speaker 1: just like dropped the suitcase or so like it was

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Speaker 1: just nothing but literally, my the way, George was like

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Speaker 1: what what could have happened in that recording and something?

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Speaker 1: So like that's how my stylists were like what did

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Speaker 1: you do? Like? Did were you? Did someone else get

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Speaker 1: ahold of these rings? Because I returned them. I didn't

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Speaker 1: even look at them. I just put them in this

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Speaker 1: little purse that I returned everything with. And they were like,

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Speaker 1: what happened in these rings? Were you assaulted? Were you?

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Speaker 1: Did you throw them in a rock tumbler? And um,

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Speaker 1: the truth is A clapped too much and I damaged

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Speaker 1: all of them and I got the message, the text

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Speaker 1: message from them. They were then they were like my

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Speaker 1: two two of my good friends, and they were like

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Speaker 1: we're so sorry, Like there's going to be a fee

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Speaker 1: too undamaged these and I was like I swallowed my

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Speaker 1: like I just like stealed myself. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I don't know. I have no concept

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Speaker 1: of how much these rings are. You know, you hear

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Speaker 1: things on the red carpet, they're like it's millions of dollars,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't know what kind of world, And I

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Speaker 1: don't know jewelry. I don't care about jewelry. It literally

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Speaker 1: could have been from H and M, and I wouldn't like.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I could tell it was like weighty good

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Speaker 1: stuff and it looked great, but I don't have a

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Speaker 1: good eye for that stuff. If I ever get married,

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Speaker 1: give me a cubic zarconia, I don't care. I like

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Speaker 1: will not know. I was like prepared for it to

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Speaker 1: be massive, like amount of money. That's like, okay, I

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Speaker 1: could have bought a tesla, Like that's what that was.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't that much money, but I'll tell you what,

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Speaker 1: it was a fucking lot of money. It wasn't thirty dollars,

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Speaker 1: but it wasn't nott It was a lot of them.

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Speaker 1: I don't even say how much it was because my

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Speaker 1: mom would go, oh, oh god, Nikki, why did you

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Speaker 1: clap because I was having fun. I'm not gonna say

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Speaker 1: them ount she's gonna assume it's more if she ever

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Speaker 1: hears this. I don't know why I'm so scared of

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Speaker 1: my mom hearing it. My mom just hates when I

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Speaker 1: have to spend money and anything. But I told him.

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Speaker 1: Missilas were so sad. They were like, Nicky, We're so

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Speaker 1: sorry you have to pay this much, and I was like, girls,

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Speaker 1: it's a great lesson. I am glad that this happened

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Speaker 1: because someday I will wear millions of dollars of jewelry.

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Speaker 1: And if I didn't know not to clap in this lesson,

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Speaker 1: this cheaper lesson, I would not have learned that lesson,

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Speaker 1: and I might owe way more money than I do.

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Speaker 1: Like this might happen at the Academy Awards because I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be a clappy bitch that night, But now I

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Speaker 1: know to clap like Nicole Kidman in the famous gift

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Speaker 1: where she's clapping her palms and not her fingers. That's

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Speaker 1: why she's doing that, because she's wearing a bunch of

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Speaker 1: loan or jewelry. She doesn't want to dent up um

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Speaker 1: and so I had to pay thousands and thousands of

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Speaker 1: dollars to have these rings that I don't own repaired,

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Speaker 1: and um I don't. Thankfully. The lesson was I had

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Speaker 1: enough money to cover up. So that was like I

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Speaker 1: was so grateful for that. Lucky, lucky, lucky. And also

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Speaker 1: I learned a cheaper lesson than I would eventually learned

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Speaker 1: down the road. You have to look at everything in

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Speaker 1: life this way of like, I'm glad it happened because

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Speaker 1: it's saving me down the road from something either more devastating,

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Speaker 1: more detrimental. I don't know how to spend this for

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Speaker 1: like literally everything in your life. But that was that

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Speaker 1: was that was a test for me because I really

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Speaker 1: could have gotten my head about that, and granted, yeah

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Speaker 1: it did, I'm lucky that it didn't devastate me. We'd

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Speaker 1: be talk having a different conversation now if it was

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Speaker 1: like the last money in my account, which I know

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Speaker 1: some people sometimes run into that where they owe all

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Speaker 1: they have and bitch, you should have learned a lesson

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Speaker 1: earlier when you made a cheap mistake. I'm just kidding. Uh,

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Speaker 1: it's no, it's it's it was a lesson, But I

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Speaker 1: literally did I wrote them and might eye list were like,

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Speaker 1: we can't even believe this outlook like they were so

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Speaker 1: scared to even tell me. And I was like, girls,

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Speaker 1: this is the greatest lesson, this is a great day.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm thankful you're saving me. I literally

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Speaker 1: looked at it like I'm saving thousands of dollars in

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Speaker 1: the future. That's how I had to look at it.

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Speaker 1: But the phone thing, Andrew, he needs to get a case. No,

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Speaker 1: what did you have a case on your phone? I

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Speaker 1: did have a case? Okay, I mean it was just old.

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Speaker 1: It's just old. It was ready to go. You dropped it.

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Speaker 1: It's like an old person breaking their hip, you like gently,

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Speaker 1: like a gentle fault. Can like be the thing that

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Speaker 1: like it's time to go, It's time to say goodbye

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Speaker 1: to Nana. That way you said you're goodbye to your phone.

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Speaker 1: It is sad, though, because you have so much in

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Speaker 1: there that you need to back up, like the cloud.

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Speaker 1: I have been storing stuff on the cloud since Here's

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Speaker 1: what I'm grateful for vice. So I haven't imported any

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Speaker 1: of my images, my photos, or videos from my phone

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Speaker 1: in the five years that I've had it. For some reason,

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Speaker 1: that morning, I was like, I'm just going to figure

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Speaker 1: out how to do this, and I imported the and

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Speaker 1: photos and videos onto my hard drive. I mean, that

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Speaker 1: is cosmic. And then it died. Your phone was on

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Speaker 1: its last breaths, and it was but you didn't know

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Speaker 1: what's going to die that day, I had no idea.

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Speaker 1: I keep all of my phones because I never back

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Speaker 1: them up and they're just photo albums. Yet do I

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Speaker 1: ever charge up those photo albums and go through there?

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Speaker 1: Nary a time? Never there are pictures that I go

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Speaker 1: I would love that picture as a TBT, but it's

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Speaker 1: in some phone, that's in some bin, that's in some

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Speaker 1: storage container with a bunch of other bullshit, like it's next.

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Speaker 1: All my phones are like next to Bunyan correctors I

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Speaker 1: bought over the years, and like vape pens, like one

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Speaker 1: of those bins you just throw a bunch of trash

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Speaker 1: and when you move, you know, different tangled necklaces. We

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Speaker 1: gotta get Andrew in here. I'm trying to think of anything.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going on Bill Mare as you know, on Friday,

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Speaker 1: and he wrote me yesterday. I've been working with his

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Speaker 1: producers so oh nice, because they are like really hands on.

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Speaker 1: I want to know, so I want to know everything

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Speaker 1: you know. I want to throw jokes at them and

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Speaker 1: be like is this good? Is this not good? Producer

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Speaker 1: Michelle is incredible that yeah, segment producers are. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know the backbone of these shows, like I work in

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Speaker 1: the industry, and I was like, still took me a

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Speaker 1: while to figure out, Like you can, I can. I

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Speaker 1: told her I could go out there and just like

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Speaker 1: drool and mumble and based on how you you know,

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Speaker 1: produce me, I will still kill. That's how good they are.

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Speaker 1: My outfit for Bill Maher is so chic, It's so good,

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Speaker 1: It's like perfect. I wrote my stylens. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be like sophisticated, like I'm smart, but

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Speaker 1: like also like like I'm cool and like not and

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Speaker 1: that I don't really belong being there, but like I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to be there but not trying to Like I

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Speaker 1: gave them this whole thing and we nailed it. I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited about my outfit, which is you know when

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Speaker 1: you feel good when you're dressed for the job, dressed

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Speaker 1: for the job you want, and the job I want

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Speaker 1: is to be the opening guest on Real Time with

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Speaker 1: Bill Maher and um. But anyway, he wrote me later

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Speaker 1: on in the day and said, Uh, it was just like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm so excited to have you wrote this

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Speaker 1: whole thing of like these are the topics I I'd

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Speaker 1: be interested in talking to you about. This is kind

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Speaker 1: of like where I want to go and and you know,

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Speaker 1: kind of reiterated what I had already figured, which um

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Speaker 1: or I already figured based on how I was produced.

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Speaker 1: But like, you don't need to treat this like a

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Speaker 1: cone in or a late night thing where it's like

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Speaker 1: Joko joke, like I just get to go as long

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Speaker 1: as I just go out there and sit and have

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Speaker 1: like a real present conversation where I'm actually listening to

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Speaker 1: him and I'm responding with my thoughts in the moment.

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Speaker 1: I can't suck it up. So that's just so freeing

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Speaker 1: that you don't have to have anything really prepared, which

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Speaker 1: I do, you know, but all my punch lines, if

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Speaker 1: they happen, they're gonna happen in real time. There's no

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Speaker 1: like I gotta get this one in. Um. But he

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Speaker 1: did say he might ask me about because we're gonna

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Speaker 1: talk about Cancel culture, you might ask me about Louis,

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Speaker 1: and I've never even I've given my opinion I think

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Speaker 1: on podcasts, but that's always as safe space. Um, I

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Speaker 1: really have to articulate how I feel about it for

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Speaker 1: Bill Maher because you know, he he really doesn't like

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Speaker 1: he He's he really angers the woke crowd. You know,

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Speaker 1: he's been canceled before, politically incorrect. He like does not

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Speaker 1: like getting people getting canceled. I once was like pro

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Speaker 1: canceling people like I also have been anti campling, like

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Speaker 1: I'm all over the place, but I also acknowledged I

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Speaker 1: don't know what I am. But the Louis thing, I

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Speaker 1: do have the opinions. I'm trying to get them in

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Speaker 1: a really I'm trying to get them in a place

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Speaker 1: where I they are airtight. My um, my defense of

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Speaker 1: not canceling him, if that's the case, if that's what

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, you don't even know that's what I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna say. And my opinion about what happened with him,

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Speaker 1: and and the thing is, I have to do my

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Speaker 1: research a little bit today on because that's the thing

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Speaker 1: on these guys that have been canceled. Everyone just assumes

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Speaker 1: you know what what happened, right, like Louis, he jerked

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Speaker 1: off in front of girls, and then there's always a

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Speaker 1: thing of did he block the door? Did he prevent

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Speaker 1: them from leaving? I don't. I know that that's a

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Speaker 1: big deal. I don't really he actually he did not

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Speaker 1: block the door, apparently from both both the girls and him.

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Speaker 1: But these are details I need to figure out. For instance,

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Speaker 1: army Hammer. I want everyone to listen up right now.

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Speaker 1: The army hammer thing. When you hear a joke about

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Speaker 1: army hammer, don't make make don't go ha ha. Cannibalism

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Speaker 1: so funny the text, that's not why we're canceling army hammer,

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Speaker 1: or that's why not why he should be uh, we

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Speaker 1: should be angry with him, don't king shame. I don't

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Speaker 1: care if a guy says he wants to eat someone's liver.

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Speaker 1: He branded a girl when she didn't want to be branded,

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Speaker 1: that that could be because some gray area, because she

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Speaker 1: was tied up and I don't know what he thought

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Speaker 1: she wanted. Like that is just bad b DSM practice

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Speaker 1: on his part. If he branded a girl and he

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Speaker 1: thought she wanted it when she was tied up because

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Speaker 1: she had a ball guy in her mouth and stuff

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Speaker 1: like there can be you need safe words. So he's

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Speaker 1: he's a bad person if he did that, and she

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Speaker 1: apparently did not want it, So fuck you Army Hammer

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Speaker 1: for that. But the big thing is you need to

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Speaker 1: You need to watch his ex girlfriend talk about how

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Speaker 1: he raped her. That is the one that is no

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Speaker 1: longer a joke about who he wants to eat her

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Speaker 1: arm Cannibal isom army humor or not, he is not.

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Speaker 1: He's he's not a monster. Because of that, he's a monster.

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Speaker 1: If what his girls girlfriend said about how he broke

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Speaker 1: up with her, you need to go look at the

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Speaker 1: details of that. I'm not gonna get into it because

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Speaker 1: it's so fucking harrowing, but it's wild, and yes, you

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Speaker 1: can rape your girlfriend for four hours. By the way,

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Speaker 1: go look into it. It's disturbing. I'm sorry to always

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Speaker 1: end things with on like a bad note. It's seven

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Speaker 1: fifteen in the morning, Andrew's got to get on a plane.

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Speaker 1: Let's get him in here. Yes, and and watch me

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Speaker 1: on Bill Maher because uh it might be my last

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Speaker 1: TV appearance. But so what I say about louis because

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Speaker 1: people do not like to when people defend not canceling people,

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Speaker 1: I think I mean bottom line, I just don't. You'll

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Speaker 1: see what. You'll see my opinion. You'll see my opinion

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Speaker 1: on Friday when I when I solidify it, because I

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Speaker 1: don't know what it is yet. All right, let's get

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Speaker 1: any Oh Andrew, how's it going? How are you holding

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Speaker 1: down the fort? Just sleep? First of all, I love

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Speaker 1: your robe. I am yeah, you know, I woke up.

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Speaker 1: I'm not night sweating so much. It's actually not. It's

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Speaker 1: very coarse. It's a very heavy robe, nice hotel heavy robe. Um,

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Speaker 1: but I'm wearing it because you don't. I didn't bring

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Speaker 1: any sleep clothes. No, I should have brought that thing.

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Speaker 1: I love that thing. Um. Robes are so essential. I

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Speaker 1: I definitely enjoy them. I don't. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm doing. God, I have to get my nails done. Um.

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Speaker 1: What what I had? Um? It was funny last night.

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Speaker 1: I you know, I wanted to get a good night's sleep.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't really feeling that well, so I took I

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Speaker 1: want and got ze quill. You huh what did you

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Speaker 1: eat that made you feel that well? I just didn't

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Speaker 1: feel well earlier in a day, like had like a

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Speaker 1: cold of some sort, like stuffy and I wish. Uh,

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Speaker 1: so I went to and got ze quill. We both

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Speaker 1: took it, we both you. You discovered ze quill at

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Speaker 1: your girlfriend's a few weeks ago, and you were like Nikki,

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Speaker 1: like I found out what could get me to sleep,

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Speaker 1: and like I didn't wake up through the night. Because

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Speaker 1: Andrew is the thing where he wakes up throughout the night.

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't relate to that. And as a

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Speaker 1: person with sleep issues, but I'm sure a lot of

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Speaker 1: people do you wake up throughout the night and you

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Speaker 1: can't get back to sleep or yeah, so I wake

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Speaker 1: up around two am, and I stay up usually for

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Speaker 1: two and a half hours, and I do a lot

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Speaker 1: of searching not sold just on the internet, and uh,

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Speaker 1: I find you're boddie. I gotta be honest with you.

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Speaker 1: I think your body knows now, like two am, you

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Speaker 1: get to go. You get this little hit at dopamine,

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Speaker 1: and so you're waking up. You know, when you wake

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Speaker 1: up early on Christmas morning when you're kid or like

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Speaker 1: Jewish holiday kid things, and you wake up early and

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I got so excited, or you wake

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Speaker 1: up early, you know, like your body is excited about

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Speaker 1: that dopamine hit like sometimes I wake up early. If

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Speaker 1: I'm like have a good meal to like a breakfast,

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Speaker 1: I'm going, you know, like, so you gotta get out

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Speaker 1: of the habit of doing you cannot go on your

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Speaker 1: phone at two am. I know you're never gonna do

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Speaker 1: that because you're an impulsive little boy. But that's why

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Speaker 1: your body is waking up. It's not because no, you're

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Speaker 1: you're you're impulsive and you you aren't good at You

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Speaker 1: need to put it in a safe at night or something.

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Speaker 1: So Okay, you got sequel from your girlfriend, but you

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Speaker 1: you told me the next day like it was some

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Speaker 1: miracle drug. Like I understand melotonin because it's like a

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Speaker 1: natural supplement, but sequel is like, you know, that's scissored,

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Speaker 1: like you're you're messing with Like, actually, Zequel has and

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Speaker 1: I love how you And now I know why you

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Speaker 1: said you had a little cold, so you've got an

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Speaker 1: excuse to kick some Zequel. No, that's why you preface

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Speaker 1: it was cold because you knew do it. I didn't

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Speaker 1: feel well and wanted to chug that scissor because you

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Speaker 1: took it. I gave you. I had modest you the

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Speaker 1: first time you took it. I go don't take that

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Speaker 1: stuff unless you're actually sick, and so this time you

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Speaker 1: had to preface it with I was a widow sick.

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Speaker 1: I hate when you do this. I hate when you don't.

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Speaker 1: I know what I did. I was feeling shitty before.

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Speaker 1: It was an after fact. So I I had a cold,

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Speaker 1: and uh so I took the zequil. She took the zequil.

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Speaker 1: We passed out and I didn't sleep well throughout the night.

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Speaker 1: Actually I was kind of delirious, and then I woke

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Speaker 1: up at seven still half asleep. She was half asleep.

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00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm leaving for six days. So we decided, hey, maybe

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Speaker 1: we should try to have sex, but neither one of

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Speaker 1: us wanted to do to work because we were both

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Speaker 1: still very groggy from the ze So I go, let's

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Speaker 1: have sex sideways like Slaus, where we just kind of just,

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00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 1: you know, tap, just dip it in. And she had

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00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 1: laughing because she looked at my face and I was

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Speaker 1: literally half asleep, still probably more asleep than I was

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Speaker 1: throughout the night, and she's dying laughing at my face.

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00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 1: I can't stay hard. I go here, just take the toy.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go shower. You come. She goes no, I

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Speaker 1: want you to watch me. I go. You don't want

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Speaker 1: to see my face. I get I threw the toy

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00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 1: at her, I took a shower, I came out. She

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00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,479
Speaker 1: was dying laughing. We got coffee, great morning, and so

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00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,399
Speaker 1: I warmed her up for the toy. I was a

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00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 1: human fluffer for a robot, and I feel great about it.

398
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 1: So I love that story. I couldn't help but pull

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00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 1: up a clip of my own stand up from two

400
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: Did you even listen to this story? I just I

401
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 1: give up up there after a couple of seconds. If

402
00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 1: I'm up there, he's already given up. We're getting to

403
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 1: it now. What that's when you break out the old

404
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 1: side sex? Have you done that? Are you just? It's

405
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:15,199
Speaker 1: the laziest, so gross, it's it's how you finish it.

406
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: Definitely is no effort involved. You was pat yourself on

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00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 1: the bath afterwards in the post sex rape, Like, what

408
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: was the last thing we did that was wild? We

409
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,719
Speaker 1: should contact Comma Sutra and let them know. Oh, you

410
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: mean the two dead cows on the side of the road,

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00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 1: that old classic. Uh yeah, uh, Simpsons did it, And

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Speaker 1: by Simpsons I mean Nikki Glazer did it. Two side

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00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 1: sex is so funny, and obviously I wasn't a good

414
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,440
Speaker 1: enough comedian until like actually explore the premise there more

415
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 1: than just a couple of dumb lines. I was a

416
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,639
Speaker 1: young comic, but uh yeah, side sex is the laziest

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00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: because you literally just it's like you're cuddling and then

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00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: he puts himself into it's it's like you're spooning, and

419
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 1: then you just put a penis in. You know, there's

420
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 1: no muscular effort that is needed, and then you just

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00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 1: kind of you just kind of like go like like

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00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 1: you just kind of wig, like you thrash about like

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Speaker 1: a dying animal. Yeah, I wasn't listening to you. Can

424
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: you repeat the part about because our listeners probably you know,

425
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,919
Speaker 1: got distracted as well at some points to the podcast.

426
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 1: It helps, it helps to go back. You didn't took

427
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 1: you so you had the side sex. She looked at

428
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,120
Speaker 1: your face you were asleep, and then something about a shower.

429
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 1: I was asleep. So then she kept laughing at me.

430
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,359
Speaker 1: She couldn't stay horny because she looked over and I

431
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 1: looked like a dead bear, just like hold on, were

432
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 1: you behind her or like, were you like having missionary

433
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 1: side side side of her so she was kind of

434
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 1: like still turned a little bit to me where she

435
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 1: turned behind Yeah, yeah, yeah, she could still behind. You

436
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: said it was dog, you're behind her. It wasn't missionary, okay,

437
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 1: yeah right, okay, so then you then what happened with

438
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: the shower? Sorry? So then I she kept laughing and

439
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 1: I wasn't. How often, by the way, do you have

440
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: to retell stories to me? I mean, we have to

441
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: do it to each other. I love that you're not

442
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: insulted right now. Thank you for not being insulted. It's

443
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 1: a bad host etiquette to not have listened to your story,

444
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 1: but I apologize. So anyway, how did the shower come

445
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 1: into it? I thought you were laughing at the story.

446
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 1: Were you just laughing at you know, I was laughing

447
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: at the story. I was laughing at her seeing your

448
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: face sleeping, because that was the last thing I kind

449
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 1: of heard you say, so long story short. Uh, she

450
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 1: was laughing at my face because I was literally still

451
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,439
Speaker 1: like sleep like I was sleep fucking and and I

452
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: couldn't the more she laughed, so we tried to scissor fox.

453
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 1: So then you were laughing, right, So I started laughing.

454
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 1: I go, look, I'm not gonna come. You're probably not

455
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 1: gonna come because you're looking at my face with crusty eyes,

456
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: like or I have krusty eyes. Here, just take the toy.

457
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 1: Take the toy. I'll go shower, you come, it will

458
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 1: be great, and she goes, no, I wanted to look

459
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 1: at me. I'll go, you don't want to look at me.

460
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fucking shower. You're gonna come. I like it

461
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 1: was like very like yeah, like you're gonna yeah, I

462
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 1: got it, Like yeah, you're you're that's hot. Like you

463
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 1: don't do it, then I'm gonna be mad at you. Yeah,

464
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 1: that's so hot. I got in showered and I came

465
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 1: out ten mins later and she's smiling ear to ear.

466
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: She's like, I got it done. I love the the

467
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 1: the BDSM type of like the subdomb relationship that you

468
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: two have where you are just doing it so you

469
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: don't have to like you're too lazy, like you're like

470
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: you fucking do this and like and she's like, what

471
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: like when guys are like lazy that, but but that's

472
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: hot to be like told what to do and be

473
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 1: like it to change your tone and be like you're

474
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: gonna fucking do you're gonna come, and I'm gonna take

475
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: a shower, and if you don't, if you haven't come

476
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 1: by the time I get out of the shower, I'm

477
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: gonna You don't even want to know what's gonna happen.

478
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 1: Yesterday I was watching a porn where a guy. It

479
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 1: was everything was perfect about it. The guy was like

480
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 1: training his girlfriend to be a whore, you know, like

481
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 1: he was like making her take on bigger and bigger toys. Yeah, yeah,

482
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 1: it was. It was wipe out. It was at wipe

483
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 1: come out of your eye. It's a new thing coming

484
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 1: to wipe outd um. But it was so funny, Andrew,

485
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 1: I should have recorded it. The funny thing is, even

486
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: after saying the other day that when I see funny

487
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 1: things on porn, I never think to like capture them

488
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 1: because I'm not in a funny state of mind. I

489
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,400
Speaker 1: should should have done it. I need to like remember

490
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: for the next time because this guy I should have record,

491
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: like screen recorded and just recorded it for you. Because

492
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: this guy is trying. Everything is perfect about I love

493
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 1: porn where the guy is really vocal. You guys, seriously,

494
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: if you ever find porn where the guy is like

495
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: telling the good the girl, good girl, and like you're

496
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,199
Speaker 1: such a slut, like talking a lot, please send it

497
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 1: to me because literally Mike the men Mike the men um.

498
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,439
Speaker 1: But this guy, you could tell that his girlfriend was

499
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,239
Speaker 1: the one that was like in on it, like the

500
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: one that was like wanting it to be like because

501
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 1: I've told guys before, hey, like they'll be fingering me.

502
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, tell me I can't come, and they're like

503
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 1: what And I'm like, tell me I can't come until

504
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 1: you say I can. And they're like, don't don't come,

505
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,679
Speaker 1: and I'm like, but like mean it and I'm like

506
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 1: if it also try to make me come and like

507
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 1: make me beg for. This guy definitely had the same

508
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 1: talk with his girlfriend before. She was the one that

509
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: orchestrated this because she's like, she goes, he goes, you

510
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 1: better not come, and she's like and he's doing stuff

511
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,719
Speaker 1: to her. It's just like a shot from behind. It's

512
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 1: one of those amateur shots, you know, where he's like

513
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 1: putting stuff in her butt and uh, He's like you

514
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 1: better not come, and she goes, what if I what

515
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: if I do? He goes, you better tell ask me

516
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 1: before you come. Don't come before asking me, and she goes,

517
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 1: what if I do and he just goes, then you

518
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: don't want to know? Like it was the most I

519
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 1: was like it was, so he just goes, You don't

520
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 1: you even want to know? It was you could. I

521
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: literally saw the girl's pussy dry up, as he said,

522
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: because I could tell like I've put my I've put

523
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 1: myself in those situations where I want the guy to

524
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 1: do something and they just can't stick it. It's not

525
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: because they're not sexy to me or whatever. It's just

526
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: like that thing I want recreated. Just the guy is

527
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,919
Speaker 1: not the type of guy to really put fear in

528
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: me that he's going to hurt me if I don't

529
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,479
Speaker 1: ask before. I don't want to be hurt if I

530
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: come and don't ask for it. But I want there

531
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 1: to be a consequence that I somehow I go, Wow,

532
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: this guy's wild. He might hurt me, Like I want

533
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: to kind of question it, but not really. Again, when

534
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 1: you practice these things, you need to have safe words.

535
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 1: You need because a lot of times knows mean like yes, important.

536
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,479
Speaker 1: I can't wait to have a boyfriend to come up

537
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 1: with all of these tactics. But don't enter into this

538
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 1: world of like, uh, you know, sub submissive, dominate and

539
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 1: if you're threatening someone, you need you need a consequence.

540
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 1: You can't, you can't keep it open. I like, I

541
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: like you don't. I like this is this is the

542
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 1: way the guy should have said it. So let's do

543
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: a role play. Okay, Andrew, Okay, so you're the girl Becky.

544
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 1: I don't know why you're Becky. If you don't ask

545
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: to come and you come, Um, you have to ask

546
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 1: me before you come. You have to ask me. But

547
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: what if I come first? Honestly, Becky, I don't even

548
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: think you want to entertain that because of what I

549
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: have in store if you come without asking. Did you

550
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 1: hear your tone? It's it's really scary my tone. I

551
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: still don't know what I'm gonna do to Bencky. My

552
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: tone suggests that it's going you're gonna like, you know,

553
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,359
Speaker 1: when a mom goes, I don't if you like a

554
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: mom doesn't even have a plan for getting grounded, like

555
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: grounding you, but she'll come up with one. Yeah, that's

556
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: what you tell me. You'll lose screen time. I'll take

557
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: it away from that would be a whole Okay, literally,

558
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: I might use that in my act. I'm gonna write

559
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 1: it down to have a guy dominate me by saying

560
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: no screen time, which is a Rachel Finstein line. She

561
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,959
Speaker 1: once told Sharad Small because Sharad was being annoying one

562
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: night at the seller and she was started turning into

563
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: a mom and she goes, Sharad, I'm gonna take away

564
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 1: your screen time if you don't stop. She's and it

565
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 1: was so funny, so I have to I would have

566
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 1: to ask Rachel if I could use the screen time

567
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 1: because that's the funniest fucking line. But um what I

568
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: was going to say at the end of that, uh

569
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 1: is good job retelling that story for me after I

570
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: tried to derail it by proving to you that I

571
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: thought of a joke before you. Um uh an. Also,

572
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 1: good job at making your girlfriend feels kind of scared

573
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 1: so you could get a good shower. And were you

574
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: like morning in the shower when you got out and

575
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: she came was there? I bet you were Morning? And

576
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: I was like, and I bet you were turned on

577
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 1: by yourself for being so dominant A little bit A

578
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 1: little bit. Yeah, I just realized, based on that role play, though,

579
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 1: that I'd be a good I think I could get

580
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: into like, I think I would like to be in

581
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 1: a relationship. I don't know if this is possible where

582
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: I could be the dominant one at times and be

583
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 1: like but I think it's more about I would need

584
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 1: to bring in another girl in our relationship, and I

585
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: would have to have I wouldn't want to dominate the guy.

586
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: I'd want to aminate a girl with a guy that

587
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 1: like my guy. So I think that could be in

588
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 1: my future. UM, who knows, I am. I know that

589
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 1: people are like Nicky stopped talking about sex. We get it,

590
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: but I'm still figuring this all out. It's so interesting

591
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: to me. Oh and I just the one thing I

592
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 1: want to read before we get to the news. I

593
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: did hornily when I was going through porn yesterday screenshot

594
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: one of the titles that I was watching. And it's

595
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 1: so these titles. This title was I had to screenshot.

596
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: He torture my verging okay, verging okay, v I r

597
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 1: G I n G. He torture my verging pussy until

598
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: my shaking orgasm fingering pink clean pussy four K sexy moans.

599
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: I mean, how many views does this video have with

600
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 1: that title? I don't know, six point one million I mean,

601
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: this guy is the like Mark Twain of of let

602
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: Me See Again. He torture my verging pussy until my

603
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: shaking orgasm think clean pussy fork four thousand sexy moans?

604
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: Does that mean? Oh, four k means maybe the h

605
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 1: the yes, yes, video, Okay. Why would you throw four

606
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: k at the end and then write sexy moans after

607
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: four four k sexy months? I mean it's it sounds

608
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: like a bot made this, and that's probably what you guys.

609
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: Will you please? I want our listeners to send us

610
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: in hilarious porn titles if you can muster the strength

611
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: to screenshot while you're jerking off to porn, and the

612
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: funniest porn titles I need to hear. But it's just

613
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 1: that one really like I want, like descriptive I want,

614
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 1: and I want them to be like poorly written. That's

615
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: like my favorite is like me shaking organs verging my

616
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 1: verging pussy vergin. Someone definitely dictated that, like my mom

617
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 1: sending a text my shaking virgin pussy vergin, like she

618
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: said virgin, but it just corrected verging and my mom

619
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: sent it. My mom actually wrote that title when she

620
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 1: was on our way to aldi to check the uh discount.

621
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: I gotta my my virgin pussy wet four k uh

622
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 1: sexy bones. Let's get to the news. Seaweed sell it

623
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 1: you what a great week of shows. You know, we're

624
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 1: gonna have an amazing weekend. You're gonna have all the

625
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: swells out there. You're gonna have so much fun. I

626
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: really do feel that for all of you. I really

627
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: do hope it happens. Okay, I'm man really gonna have swells.

628
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: I might go surfing. Really yeah, I'll let you know,

629
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:38,479
Speaker 1: but I hope you do. Yeah. Pete asked me to go,

630
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I go, ha ha, I go, Pete,

631
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: that's so funny that you would ask me. Never like

632
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: never already goes, I go, my dad might want to

633
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 1: my dad's in town. He goes, I would love to

634
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: take your dad's surfing. I go, who are you? You're

635
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: like that guy? Again? On Seinfeld, there's Elaine stating this

636
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 1: guy who wants to take Jerry's parents around New York,

637
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 1: and She's like, why does he want to hang out

638
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: with Jerrys parents so much? It's that same thing where

639
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: I was like, if you want, I'm gonna ask my

640
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call my dad after this podcast and be like,

641
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: do you want to go surfing? And then I might

642
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 1: go just watch them. You can do it. You're a

643
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 1: great swimmer, but you know depend But I've never snowboarded,

644
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: and I have never been able to stand up on

645
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: a skateboard by myself, so I'm not good at that.

646
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 1: But all right. A man was busted for brazen lye

647
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: masturbating in broad daylight in Times Square, New York City,

648
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 1: in front of the American Eagles store. Yeah. Yeah, that's

649
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: the most probably most people possible. Uh, walk around that store,

650
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 1: walk around that area during the day. You're really gonna now,

651
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 1: isn't New York open again? Like, isn't New York and

652
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: l A. By the way, l AS was open on

653
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: June fifteenth. I got here on June fifteenth. Yesterday was sixteen.

654
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 1: People are still wearing masks inside, Like there's different, different,

655
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: everyone's doing their own thing. I mean, I'm glad the

656
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: nation's open, but I'm guessing. Okay, this guy took his

657
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: penis out and listens. He was probably homeless. Yeah, he

658
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: was homeless. He lives in a shelter in Brooklyn. So

659
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 1: the only thing I think is interesting is did he

660
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 1: make a plan to take the two trains into the

661
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,319
Speaker 1: city to jerk off in the most part, you know

662
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like was this like a day for him?

663
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 1: Because if if that's the case, it's hilarious because he's like,

664
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: you gotta know that you're going to get busted, so

665
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: he knows this isn't gonna last very long. Um okay,

666
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 1: this man clearly has a lot of mental issues. And uh,

667
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wonder I bet it was a

668
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 1: woman who told him to stop. A guarantee men, I

669
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: feel like turn a blind eye to men doing gross

670
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: things with their penises in New York City. As I found,

671
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 1: it's usually some like old New York woman being like

672
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: you put that away. No one wants to see that

673
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 1: leroy or like Leroy sounds like a black name. I

674
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: was actually picturing a white person when I said that

675
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 1: the way, But like, I feel like women are the

676
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: ones stuff I would probably go stop that, like I

677
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 1: would be the one whereas I think, men, are you

678
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: kidding me? I have a punch card, I've seen five,

679
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: I I get two more and I get one free. No.

680
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 1: The thing is you don't say anything because it's again.

681
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: I'm I was just talking about on the opening, about

682
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: how Bill mar is gonna ask me about the Louis

683
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 1: stuffs were really know, you always pick stories that align

684
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: with things I don't even know I'm gonna It's not

685
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: just me. I'm giving Andrew credit for this too. It's

686
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: the team team effort, I know. But like you both

687
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: chose these stories and like didn't know I was going

688
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: to talk about my feelings about Louie, Like, I'm so

689
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 1: Bill Maher wants to talk to me about Louie to

690
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: catch you up? Andrew, I love that. Did you bring

691
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 1: up what you're going to say yet? Are you thinking

692
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 1: about it? No? I said to him, I go, actually,

693
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 1: I think I would love to talk. He asked my permission,

694
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: like would that be okay? And I go, actually, I

695
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: think I'm ready um to be canceled because me and

696
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: Bill Maher, you know, the woke I didn't finish this

697
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 1: off before Woke people do not like Bill Maher. They

698
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 1: think like the there's like a lot of he although

699
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 1: he's liberal, he they think that he is liberals. Uh,

700
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: some wokes a lot There are a lot of people

701
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: that don't like Bill Maher and think he's just a

702
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 1: white man, say, like wanting to do what he wants.

703
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 1: And he had a thing last week where he's like,

704
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: I really liked his end of the show piece last

705
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 1: week because he was talking about how everything, like how

706
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 1: you know black lives matter, it was, everything is so

707
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 1: important to keep fighting racism. But to act like we

708
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: haven't made strides is insane, Like to act like we

709
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 1: are in the same place we were, you know, fifty

710
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,439
Speaker 1: years ago, four years ago, Like it's getting better, they're

711
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 1: still So he's like, don't stop the effort. But it

712
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: doesn't mean we're not going like mission accomplished. But we

713
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: we have to acknowledge that it has gotten better and

714
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: that is good. We can't keep just piling on of

715
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 1: like you know it's not enough, yes, but it doesn't

716
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: mean we haven't accomplished things. Where then he made a

717
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: great point of goes, he goes, guess what's not getting better?

718
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 1: Guess what's never getting better? The climate a threat to democracy,

719
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 1: like the homelessness in in l A and New York,

720
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 1: Like there are things that aren't getting better and there

721
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 1: are no significant like moments to go Okay, wow, we

722
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 1: that wouldn't have happened two years ago. You know, he

723
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,799
Speaker 1: even says the Cast of Friends. I loved this point.

724
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: He said, the Cast of Friends on their reunion, that

725
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 1: whole thing they did for a two bax. He goes,

726
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:32,879
Speaker 1: it looked out of place, because never if you took

727
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 1: in a show and said we're going to have four

728
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 1: six white people living together with mostly white people around

729
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,280
Speaker 1: them as a sitcom, you'd get laughed out of the room,

730
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: out of any room you pitched that in now, and

731
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: that was not you know, that was twenty five years ago,

732
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 1: and now that would not fly because we like to

733
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 1: see diversity on TV, and it's a good thing that

734
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 1: we have that, but that is a change that we

735
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: have to acknowledge. And but then there's other things like

736
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 1: you know, I just loved when he said climate change,

737
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 1: Like that's our environment is only getting worse. Yet we

738
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:08,879
Speaker 1: we never we never, It's not like we never talked

739
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 1: about that, but that is something that, like, you know,

740
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 1: we're not gonna be around long enough to fix racism

741
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 1: more if we don't put our efforts to other things,

742
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 1: which I feel guilty sometimes because I'm such a vegan

743
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,399
Speaker 1: animal rights advocates and I don't advocate for human rights

744
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: as much as animal ones, because I can't do everything anyway.

745
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk about Louis brings us back to the

746
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: jerking off thing. Um, when you're a woman that has

747
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: a penis taken out in front of you in a

748
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 1: situation where you're alone with the man, or even if

749
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 1: he's like close to you with his penis out. And

750
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: I've done a bit about this, you think that you'll

751
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 1: be able to go because I've seen a penis on

752
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: the train that was meant for me. A guy was

753
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 1: standing in front of me. I was sitting on the train.

754
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 1: It was packed in. He was a casual looking man,

755
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: didn't look like a dirty person that would take out

756
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 1: his penis. All of a sudden, a man his penis

757
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: is in my face, like a foot from my face,

758
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 1: and I see it out and almost looks like it's

759
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: out of his pants in a way that he doesn't

760
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: know it's out, like it's a mistake. And I thought

761
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: it was a tattered bell first, And then I moved

762
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: and in the belt had girth, Like this is all

763
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 1: a bit I used to do. But my point is

764
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,839
Speaker 1: like I got out my phone slowly because I want

765
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 1: to take a picture of it. And um, but then

766
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: I spooked him and he ran away. But I was

767
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 1: I would never be someone to be like, put your

768
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: dick away, because you don't know if that guy what

769
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 1: he's going to do with his stick. If a guy

770
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 1: is brazen enough to take his penis out, what else

771
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: is he capable of? You don't know. So in Times

772
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: Square I would be brazen enough. I would. I can't

773
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: say that I would. I would think I'd be brazen

774
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: enough because I protected by people around me. But also

775
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: in New York City, I was on a train with

776
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: people around me, and I did not feel protected because

777
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 1: people just kind of in New York you're on your own, bitch.

778
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: That's kind of the you know. So I would never

779
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: be called dead an American eagle, I'll tell you that.

780
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 1: I mean, it's what it was, jerking off in American

781
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:57,399
Speaker 1: in front of American you and before going Hollister it's

782
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 1: a little darker, you can get away. Andrew, Oh, that's hilarious,

783
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 1: like a lifeguard. Uh, Andrew, have you ever seen a

784
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 1: person jerking off in um New York City? Yeah, yes

785
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: I have, And I didn't say anything. I walked by

786
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 1: and I yeah, I was homeless. I've never seen like

787
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: a regular, like everyday normal person with their dick out.

788
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 1: Have you seen an everyday normal person with your dick out,

789
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: like a guy that you wouldn't suspect, like it didn't

790
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 1: make sense, but it was like he was sneakily doing it.

791
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot, Yes, I have. It's a power thing.

792
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 1: It's not about them wanting to They want you to

793
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:38,400
Speaker 1: see it and they want you to freak out and

794
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 1: be frozen. They love that. They love you to be

795
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: like yeah, and they jerk off to your scaredness. It's

796
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 1: not like because guys people always go just jerk off alone,

797
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: Why do you need a girl? It's like, it's not

798
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: about jerking off. It's about the power that they feel

799
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 1: over people that are stunned into like shock, and that's

800
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,280
Speaker 1: what they get off on. And that's why what Louis

801
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: did was not It tells me more than he's just

802
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: a perv that like to jerk off in front of

803
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,879
Speaker 1: women and make them watch. We all have our own thing.

804
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 1: I like guys to tell me I can't come. It's

805
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 1: a weird thing. Louie has to have that need met

806
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: in a way that the woman can be consenting. But

807
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: part of Louis fetish is the non consent, unfortunately, and

808
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 1: that's that's the problem. Like people go, why can't this

809
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 1: person just do it in a safe way, and it's like, no,

810
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: the if he gets consent, it takes like that guy going, uh,

811
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 1: you don't even want to know what happened. It's going

812
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: to feel like that to him if he sets up

813
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,840
Speaker 1: a scenario where someone watches him. He needs that element

814
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:42,280
Speaker 1: of I'm scared, I'm guessing uh, And I'm also scared

815
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 1: that he's gonna hear me talk about him on Bill

816
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 1: Martin reach out to me. Well, you could ask for

817
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:51,879
Speaker 1: consent and get consent, but that's still especially he talks

818
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,959
Speaker 1: about he goes, he goes, next time, I'll I'll ask

819
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 1: more than once, like essentially like still putting the onus

820
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: almost on the victims still somehow, but now he essentially

821
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 1: he's saying, I asked forcing consent, which sounds kind of crazy,

822
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 1: and you can yes, but it was in a situation

823
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 1: where you're definitely gonna get a yes, like asking a woman.

824
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 1: I understand, like there's how what are you supposed to

825
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 1: send a telegram? I'm about to ask you a question

826
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 1: that might make you uncomfortable? Are do you? Are you

827
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 1: okay with that? Okay, let me ask the first part,

828
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: can I please? Are you good with that part? Like?

829
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: How you know? Like how much do we have to ask?

830
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 1: I get that there, but he the question can I

831
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 1: masturbate in front of you? When taken out of context

832
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 1: in a situation where two girls are in your hotel

833
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 1: room and it's not a sexy situation and it's bluntly asked,

834
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 1: is almost as bad as taking out your penis. It's

835
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 1: like it puts you into a state of shock of

836
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: like okay, and you might say yes to something you

837
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,839
Speaker 1: don't want, and then there's a gray area of like

838
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 1: he did ask, but what and they they might have

839
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 1: said yet whatever it is, I don't know the exact story,

840
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 1: but I need to watch a special before I go

841
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: on that show. Next story, next story, Here it comes okay. Um,

842
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,879
Speaker 1: here's what experts say that you text when you want

843
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 1: to rekindle an old hook up. So this isn't like

844
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 1: someone you dated. It's just like an old hook up,

845
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:17,240
Speaker 1: especially post COVID. Now, so here's a few lines of this.

846
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 1: This expert, repert uh says, it's a good idea. I

847
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 1: thought this was a study at first. Of all, you

848
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 1: were saying it so experts say, if you want to

849
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,919
Speaker 1: rekindle an old hook up, this is what you should do.

850
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: Is that what we're reading? Yes? Yes, correct. Okay, So

851
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 1: it's been a minute. How have you been. It's been

852
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about you. It'd be fun to get

853
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 1: together soon. I see you chef and on I g

854
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 1: guess it took a year to lock that lock down

855
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 1: for you to learn how to cook. I feel a

856
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: little vulnerable here, but I'm curious to revisit things between us,

857
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: and I'm wondering how you feel about it. Oh my god,

858
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: this is hilarious because what if someone was listening to

859
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: our podcast and was just like, Okay, I'm going to

860
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 1: write down whatever he says, and they said, that's all

861
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 1: those things you said sound like something I would send

862
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 1: in one block, like all of those things together, like

863
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 1: like I always overwrite every like you could you overthink?

864
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 1: And it's yeah, I remember. And you were like, Nicky,

865
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 1: it's too much. It's a lot, And I go why

866
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 1: and You're like, it's a lot, and I was like, listen,

867
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 1: it was just like what Joe Rogan said, I'm a

868
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 1: lot and I was like, what do you mean, and

869
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 1: he's like, you're just a lot and I was like,

870
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know what that means. Which it

871
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: was like when David Tell told me I was defensive

872
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 1: in two thousand six and I didn't understand what that

873
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,840
Speaker 1: word meant. I literally didn't know what defensive meant. It

874
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: was so embarrassing I was. I met David Tell and

875
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 1: it was two thousand five at the Insomniac Tour. I

876
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: was with my best friend Katherine. To make this very short, UH,

877
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 1: we were at the We went to go see Dane

878
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: Cook perform live. Uh. And it was it was Dane Cook,

879
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:54,759
Speaker 1: David Tell, Sean Rouse, Greg Giraldo. They were all doing

880
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 1: a thing at the House of Blues. Turned out it

881
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,399
Speaker 1: was a TV taping. We didn't know that. They asked

882
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: us to be seen fillers because we're too hot chicks.

883
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 1: They put us in the second row. We got invited

884
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 1: to the v I P party. Later. I had just

885
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 1: started doing comedy. My friend Katherine went up to all

886
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 1: the comics and was like, Nicky just started comedy. Was

887
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 1: so embarrassing. I told her. I was like, do not

888
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 1: mention it. I don't want to like these guys do

889
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,879
Speaker 1: not respect anyone that's been doing comedy for like a year,

890
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 1: like just let's play cool. And I do remember though

891
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 1: that later in the night I got drunk and um,

892
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 1: I knew that Sarah Silverman, who was I was obsessed

893
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 1: with that time. She was like my tailor swift at

894
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: the time. I knew she dated David Tell and so

895
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: I was like so excited being his presence. Asked like,

896
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 1: David Tell is just like my favorite, and um, he

897
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: was like he I think he was drinking at the time,

898
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 1: so he was not the kind person that he was.

899
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: He is not like he is kind person, but he

900
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 1: was a little bit volatile when he was drinking, I

901
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 1: believe because he was not that nice to me because

902
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 1: he was like, oh, you wanna be Sarah Silverman really

903
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,080
Speaker 1: like he was doing and he goes and I go,

904
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 1: he goes say something funny, then say one funny thing.

905
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 1: I haven't heard you say one funny thing. All night

906
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 1: We're like hanging out and I was like, I don't

907
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,360
Speaker 1: know what to say. What do you want, Like I

908
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:01,799
Speaker 1: don't have like do you want me to let joke?

909
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 1: And he was like, whoa, this one's defensive, So defensive,

910
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,560
Speaker 1: and I go, I don't why I'm not being defensive.

911
00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 1: I don't know what defensive even I didn't know what

912
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: defensive meant. And my friend Catherine I had taken me

913
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: aside and be like, you literally are like it means

914
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 1: that you just like I have to defend like I

915
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 1: didn't know what it meant. Um, that's a long way

916
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: to say that. Uh yeah, you wrote that, guy, I

917
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 1: know you being like Nickie. Now, it's just funny because

918
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,240
Speaker 1: I draft all of the text that I said guys

919
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 1: that I'm worried about girls? Does anyone else out there

920
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 1: do that? When you have a weighty text to send someone,

921
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: you make a draft in your notes. So I have

922
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 1: a note. I have literally a note. I put all

923
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,839
Speaker 1: of them together because I kept going through my phone.

924
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 1: It's the same place I keep my stand ups. Every

925
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: time I before I would go on stage, I would

926
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: always go through my notes to be like, where's the

927
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 1: last joke I wrote? You know? Um? And so I

928
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: started seeing all these these taft drafts of texts, which

929
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 1: when you look at them a month later, you're like,

930
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,399
Speaker 1: this is so dull? Why was I so worried about

931
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: this text? So I decided to lump them all into

932
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 1: one thing. And this is this is so funny. I

933
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 1: have to add more because there's been so many more.

934
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:14,279
Speaker 1: So this is from You're so right. Okay, well, let's

935
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 1: try to find a lyric in it. So these this

936
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: is text two boys. I put them all in one

937
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: place because they were all over hey you, hey, wait,

938
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 1: hey you and I talked about me possibly coming by tonight.

939
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 1: What do you think? Okay? That was all based on

940
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 1: the book I was reading, because that guy did make

941
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 1: plans with me, and it would always like be like, hey,

942
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 1: let's hang out on Friday, and then like Friday would

943
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: come and like I wouldn't hear from him. So that

944
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: was my attempt. Then there was another one. Yes. Oh.

945
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 1: Then there was another Oh. I can't read this one

946
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 1: because it's like, yes, that happened. You and I were

947
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 1: not in a committed relationship at the time. It wasn't

948
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 1: something I felt comfortable telling you, and I'm sorry for

949
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: how this must make you feel. Then there's another one.

950
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 1: These are all just different boys, but I put them

951
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 1: all in the same note. I had the best time.

952
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 1: You're hilarious and made me feel so comfortable. Thank you,

953
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 1: Thank you, With an exclamation, ar, Hey, you had mentioned

954
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 1: hanging out this weekend. I get back in town tomorrow

955
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 1: late afternoon. What do you think? Like? These are all?

956
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 1: Noah probably wrote most of these to be honest with you,

957
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 1: And then yeah, I love these because, like I was

958
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 1: telling I was telling Noah, we were talking about this story,

959
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: I was like, all you should write is hey, I

960
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: want to come and I need a body, like that's

961
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 1: what we're essentially. The other night, I shared with you

962
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 1: something that I texted someone who I used to sleep with,

963
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 1: and I was very blunt like that, and I want

964
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: to know what you think I did wrong in that scenario.

965
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: I just think it's not I don't think he did

966
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 1: anything wrong. It's not you. I literally said. It sounds cheesy,

967
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: but it's not you, I said. I it was like, hey,

968
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 1: good to see you, and I go, hi. Um, I

969
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 1: don't know why we're not banging. Um it's I said,

970
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 1: loved hanging. But I also feel like we should be

971
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 1: sleeping together or at least not at least doing hand stuff,

972
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,919
Speaker 1: because why not. And then he the whole thing of like, yeah,

973
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 1: i'd be down and I go tonight, and then he

974
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 1: didn't right back to that. Um, I said, yeah, he said,

975
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 1: talked about some sex toy thing that we used to

976
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 1: talk about using. He said, I said, get that thing

977
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: up and running again because I want to get slutty

978
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 1: with you. Uh. And then I said something hot and

979
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 1: then got nothing back. And then he wrote back the

980
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 1: next day like sorry, I didn't and I just I

981
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 1: essentially did that. I go, I want to come, and

982
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 1: I expect you to. Just you don't even have to

983
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 1: use your dick. I know you might be worried that

984
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 1: your dick might not work, like what whatever, Like it's

985
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 1: been a while since we fooled around, so maybe he's

986
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 1: worried about performance. And I go, just plug it in

987
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 1: and and make me come, and then he still won't.

988
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 1: So I think that's a separate issue, right, Yes, I

989
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 1: think what did I do wrong there? Did I right?

990
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,760
Speaker 1: You want to do anything wrong? You didn't do anything

991
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: wrong And the only thing that I would think that

992
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:52,800
Speaker 1: you did wrong there is not show your value but value.

993
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 1: I want to come. I know my value. I make

994
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 1: you go if you go to a guy. I'm just

995
00:49:58,200 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 1: telling you. If I got a message like, hey, we

996
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,240
Speaker 1: don't have the funk you we just do fingers stuff,

997
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,720
Speaker 1: it's I don't want to him though. That's my value

998
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 1: is I don't want following, you know, but how someone

999
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:09,760
Speaker 1: can read it. He doesn't know that I'm not saying

1000
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 1: that you are. And the way I said that, I

1001
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 1: was like, we don't have to we can just do this,

1002
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 1: Like it's like I'll do anything. I'll do anything you want,

1003
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 1: just come over. It's like I think you need to

1004
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 1: with this guy. I think you gotta go. Look, are

1005
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 1: we ever going to fuck in the future? Do you

1006
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 1: want to suck in the future? Yes or no? Just

1007
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 1: tell me so. I don't have to stop with this

1008
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 1: playing around games or whatever. And I just don't want

1009
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 1: to be be fun. I just want to be tied up

1010
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: and have him use boys. I mean, I mean, that's

1011
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: all I want. I told him that I know. But

1012
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,279
Speaker 1: if he's not doing it, then then just whatever. It's

1013
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:50,800
Speaker 1: not it's not great transition into our sports moments. Hears

1014
00:50:50,920 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 1: Andrew's Weekly Sports This moment lebron James gets eight up

1015
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 1: untild not to come. Oh no, I mean he's probably

1016
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:08,240
Speaker 1: into some weird stuff, no doubt. Um. Coca Cola's shares

1017
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 1: dropped four billion dollars after Christiano Ronaldo, who's a very

1018
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:16,360
Speaker 1: famous soccer player moved to bottles out of you and

1019
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 1: picked up the water bottle before Portugal's match against Hungary.

1020
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: So essentially he's like, look, I'm ripped. I have a

1021
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,840
Speaker 1: great body. I care about my health. This isn't it

1022
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 1: waters for me? And I thought I thought this was

1023
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 1: all because he uh is a Pepsi guy. I literally

1024
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 1: thought he was endorsed by Pepsi and so he had

1025
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 1: to get the coke products because he has a million

1026
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: logos behind him. He goes Agua and so he goes

1027
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 1: water over coke, and then uh, Coca Cola's shares dropped

1028
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: four billion dollars because Ronaldo, see the thing is is

1029
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 1: like we're in America. Like like Tom Brady for instance,

1030
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 1: has like thirty million followers, and he's like, I understand

1031
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 1: what he means three million followers on Instagram. I don't think, though,

1032
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: that people are not going to drink coke because he

1033
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:04,799
Speaker 1: moved that. I don't think that that's I think, why

1034
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,399
Speaker 1: do things drop? Because if it dropped that quickly, it's

1035
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,919
Speaker 1: not like coke. Actually people stopped buying coke that day.

1036
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,240
Speaker 1: It's like it's what they anticipate is going to happen,

1037
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 1: but like none of this makes sense to me. Of

1038
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 1: like when things drop and go up, it's like it's

1039
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 1: like the vibe. It's like the stock market reads the vibe.

1040
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 1: It's not actually money. They're not reading like the receipt

1041
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 1: because there's no way that they saw these transactions. This

1042
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 1: happened so fast. It's like they foresee that Coke has

1043
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:35,319
Speaker 1: a bad rep now, which good fuck Coke they've been

1044
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: Do you know that Coke doesn't need to advertise their

1045
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,400
Speaker 1: number one like by far, but they keep advertising just

1046
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 1: to keep up their brand, Like they just need you

1047
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,360
Speaker 1: to remind you that they're a brand that you should

1048
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 1: associate with, like American and like just not even it's

1049
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 1: global now, but like that they don't need to advertise.

1050
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 1: They don't need to convince you to drink coke. They

1051
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 1: just do it so that coke is a part of

1052
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:02,319
Speaker 1: your Like you see it everywhere and you can't avoid it. Yeah,

1053
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:03,920
Speaker 1: I mean, but it's not to sell it to you.

1054
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,359
Speaker 1: It's just to be like, hey, you have to have

1055
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 1: a skull on the side of the cup, you know

1056
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:12,479
Speaker 1: what I mean. We're talking yesterday about all the things

1057
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 1: that cost SODA's killed millions of so many cocus. If

1058
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: you're drinking coke as anything more than like yesterday, well, diet,

1059
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 1: diet soda whatever, like no one. If you think diet

1060
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 1: soda is gonna make you skinny, you are so one

1061
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 1: of the dumbest people alive. But I do understand. I

1062
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 1: used to be addicted to diet soda. It does not

1063
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:35,799
Speaker 1: make you thin. It does not make you It does

1064
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 1: not support a healthy because it convinces your body you're

1065
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 1: getting sugar, so it it makes you want sugar more

1066
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 1: and you're gonna over eat eventually. That's what it does.

1067
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 1: And there's literally all the science behind it to prove it.

1068
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,800
Speaker 1: No one's skinny because they drink a ton of coke. Um. However,

1069
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,720
Speaker 1: if you're a diet coke sorry, if you're drinking sugary

1070
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,799
Speaker 1: syrupy cokes, good good, good on you treat yourself like

1071
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 1: a dessert. But if you're drinking them every day, and listen,

1072
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:04,839
Speaker 1: I have my things. I drink two lattes a day.

1073
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 1: I'm doing almond milk, so it's not like and that

1074
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 1: I don't do like it's not as much sugar. And

1075
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 1: I do stevia, which is a natural substitute that will

1076
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 1: be proven to give you cancer when you know in

1077
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,440
Speaker 1: twenty years when they come out with the studies. But

1078
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,879
Speaker 1: right now I'm in the dark. Um, But you gotta

1079
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 1: cut soda out. That's the funniest thing is when someone goes,

1080
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,279
Speaker 1: I just stopped drinking POPSI and I lost, you know,

1081
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:28,719
Speaker 1: two pounds. It like falls off. If you're someone who

1082
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:32,919
Speaker 1: drinks sugary sodas and you stop, wait till you see

1083
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:35,319
Speaker 1: what happens. It's just crazy to me that people want

1084
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 1: to consume their calories in that way. But I do

1085
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:45,920
Speaker 1: understand having a delightful little those little bottles of cokeinot.

1086
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: You just don't need to have it every day. It's

1087
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 1: like a dessert. You wouldn't have a creme brew let

1088
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:54,239
Speaker 1: every day, you know. But don't don't say never unless

1089
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 1: unless it's something that you you know. For me, I

1090
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 1: say never to those things because they open up part

1091
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 1: of my brain that goes, girl, get more. It's never

1092
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,319
Speaker 1: going to be enough, hal more, and so I can't

1093
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 1: have It's like you know, an alcohol with alcohol, But

1094
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:10,799
Speaker 1: if you could allow yourself to have one coke of

1095
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 1: a week, come on, I love a little let's get

1096
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 1: to uh so sports moment. Isn't Christian Ronaldo? By the way,

1097
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 1: didn't he He's not the one that got accused of right,

1098
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,040
Speaker 1: yeah he did, But yes he did in Las Vegas

1099
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:24,839
Speaker 1: with a girl that they had a photograph of him

1100
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 1: hitting on her and then she described a pretty brutal encounter.

1101
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 1: Yet we're still he's still famous. Yeah, just checking. I

1102
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: listen again, the cancel culture thing. He has a right

1103
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:38,759
Speaker 1: to play soccer, but I have a right as someone

1104
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 1: who knows what he did, to like never want to

1105
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 1: hear his name on my podcast again, because like, why

1106
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 1: are we entertaining this person that is not it? Has

1107
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 1: he been cleared of the great charges? Yes he was,

1108
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: but okay, well then that's fine. I mean, and he

1109
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 1: didn't Yeah what was he was? Did he was? He tried? Um?

1110
00:55:57,560 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was so funny to me that

1111
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 1: we just forget. Like the Army Hammer thing I mentioned before.

1112
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:07,240
Speaker 1: Everyone talks about Army Hammer being a cannibal and laughs

1113
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:09,239
Speaker 1: about it, but no one knows the real story, which

1114
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,279
Speaker 1: is that he raped his girlfriend. It's like, how do

1115
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:13,760
Speaker 1: these things not get out? How am I the only

1116
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:17,400
Speaker 1: and I only saw that because you are the more famous,

1117
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 1: You are the more, it gets swept under a rug.

1118
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 1: I mean, it just happens like no one. People don't care.

1119
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,239
Speaker 1: The Morning Show. That was a great moment on The

1120
00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 1: Morning Show that I overheard while I was packing. Uh,

1121
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 1: and you kept watching it and I got a little

1122
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 1: spoiler alert. But someone was like, that's how it works.

1123
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:37,880
Speaker 1: We all know, Jennifer Ranson telling researchers, And do you

1124
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 1: think that if I put my foot down, anything's gonna change.

1125
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 1: She's like, that's the way it works is that we

1126
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 1: know these disgusting men do these things. We we can't accuse.

1127
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 1: We can't say everything that we see. If we did,

1128
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 1: we we wouldn't get anything. I forgot what our speech was,

1129
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 1: but she was like, it's the way the world works,

1130
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 1: like and there is a part of that of like,

1131
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: it's just the way it feels so insurmountable. The only

1132
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 1: reason Harvey Weinstein got brought down was why because the

1133
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 1: New York Times decided to do a piece on it.

1134
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 1: Like or Cosby, everyone knew he was a rapist, Like

1135
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 1: people knew that career like Ronaldo might get taken down

1136
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 1: when he's eighty and he can't dribble anymore. And it

1137
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 1: isn't hot. Okay, let's get to listener mail. This has

1138
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:26,919
Speaker 1: been up. Do we think he could do is dribble? Yeah?

1139
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 1: You know it's gonna be water because that guy does

1140
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 1: not like Yeah a good man. All right, let's get

1141
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 1: to listener mail. Love this seggy. Okay, So this is all. Uh,

1142
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:40,440
Speaker 1: this is when we hear from you, guys. We like

1143
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 1: to hear from you all the time about anything. Um,

1144
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,840
Speaker 1: but these are the specific ones that you sent to

1145
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 1: via R d M s on Nikki Glazer pod or

1146
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,880
Speaker 1: uh you know, the Nicki Glazer podcast at gmail dot com,

1147
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:54,800
Speaker 1: or a voice memo. I'm at a fan of mine

1148
00:57:54,880 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 1: last night? Who my friend at the show? Oh? He goes,

1149
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:03,440
Speaker 1: he's running the show. He goes, do you mind if

1150
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 1: my friend takes a picture with you or like meet you.

1151
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 1: She's a big fan, and I go, of course, fine.

1152
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 1: She comes out. This girl is shaking crying. She's my

1153
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 1: age too. I'm sorry to insult her. If you're listening, Lisa,

1154
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 1: are you my age? You looked like in your thirties? Uh?

1155
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 1: She had like blue pink hair, so cool looking a

1156
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 1: cute little like she's a suicide girl. Um Like she

1157
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:28,680
Speaker 1: does like kind of like dress up but she's like

1158
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 1: more like my little pony suicide like Pinks and like

1159
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 1: I don't know, like I pictures to his side girls

1160
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 1: like Gothy. But I looked into her. She's a very

1161
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 1: cool girl. She's like has only fans and stuff. Her

1162
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,919
Speaker 1: name is uh Lisa doll l I z a doll

1163
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 1: d o l l If you want to look at

1164
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 1: her up and and support her, she was the sweetest thing.

1165
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 1: She's shaking, she's crying, she goes, I don't even know, like,

1166
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 1: you mean so much to me and you guys. She

1167
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 1: later DMed me. She was like, thank you for the

1168
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 1: picture and thank you for and I was like, honey.

1169
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:56,440
Speaker 1: She made me were nervous. She made me feel like,

1170
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 1: I go, I completely understand how you feel right now,

1171
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 1: because this was what I would do if I met

1172
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:04,000
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift. And I cannot believe that someone is having

1173
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 1: the same reaction or feels the same way about me

1174
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 1: that I feel about Taylor Swift. Like I felt like

1175
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,959
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift in that moment. And I've seen Taylor Swift

1176
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 1: deal with fans that are reacting that way and how

1177
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 1: she like hugs them and brings them in and becomes

1178
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: friends with them. And like they still it doesn't. And

1179
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 1: I handled that situation the way i'd know Taylor Swift

1180
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: as So I look forward to more of those because

1181
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 1: they made me feel like Taylor Swift and I understand

1182
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 1: being that big of a fan. So it was the

1183
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,440
Speaker 1: moment of like, oh my god, don't feel bad that

1184
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 1: you're crying or shaking, like I get it, and I

1185
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 1: don't think I deserve this from you, but I'm gonna

1186
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 1: accept it. And she was so sweet. So um, if

1187
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 1: these aren't d m s from our fans telling them

1188
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 1: how much they love me, I'm skipping this segment on

1189
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 1: the heels of Lisa Doll. Okay, let's get to the

1190
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:48,480
Speaker 1: d M. I'm sorry, No, I just had to tell

1191
00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 1: that shout out. This one is from Lexi. Oh another

1192
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:55,280
Speaker 1: l name. Hey, Nikki, I am such a big fan.

1193
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:58,480
Speaker 1: I definitely cried, Oh my god, whoa no, what the fuck?

1194
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:00,520
Speaker 1: I definitely cried when You Up was finished and I

1195
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 1: wasn't sure what was coming next. I work from home,

1196
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 1: so you and Andrew have been like my friends that

1197
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 1: I get to spend my day with. I want to

1198
01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 1: say thank you for normalizing so many things for me.

1199
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:10,760
Speaker 1: Just today I was feeling very sad because it is

1200
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:13,240
Speaker 1: so difficult to get up in the mornings. And within

1201
01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:15,440
Speaker 1: two minutes of your podcast you said the exact same thing,

1202
01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 1: and I felt so seen. So thank you your best

1203
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:22,480
Speaker 1: see Lexi, oh, LEXI, thank you so much, and girl

1204
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:27,400
Speaker 1: right like I helped mysel. I don't want to. I

1205
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 1: never think I'm like a hero. I don't want anyone

1206
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,600
Speaker 1: to think that I am. But it really feels good

1207
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 1: to me when I hear people have changed their points

1208
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 1: of view about little annoyances in life, or like feeling depressed.

1209
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 1: Last night, I was on stage and I was talking

1210
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 1: about being wildly depressed last year and wanting to shave

1211
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,280
Speaker 1: my head and how Joe Rogan was the only one

1212
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 1: that reached out to me about it, about my cry

1213
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,600
Speaker 1: for help on Twitter about shaving my head, even though

1214
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,600
Speaker 1: it was a joke and it was really it was

1215
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 1: it's working into a funny thing. But I said to

1216
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,920
Speaker 1: the audience, I go, is anyone else suffer massive depression

1217
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,600
Speaker 1: last year at some point? And everyone collapse and I

1218
01:00:57,680 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 1: and I was like, and you got through a good,

1219
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:01,560
Speaker 1: good job. And I literally sincerely was like, and if

1220
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 1: you're going through it now, I'm really sorry, and I

1221
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:07,000
Speaker 1: like know that feeling. It's al so good to say that,

1222
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 1: not to have a punchline, just but to make people

1223
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 1: feel seen, like I'm sorry. If you're out there and

1224
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 1: you're having a hard day, I'm fucking sorry because I

1225
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:16,160
Speaker 1: know how it feels and it sucks. It feels so

1226
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 1: good to feel seen, So I'm glad I made someone

1227
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 1: feel that way. And um and I truly the other

1228
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 1: day when I got out of bed and felt sad,

1229
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 1: I thought of my besties and how they are able

1230
01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:29,000
Speaker 1: to snap out of it sometimes when they hear me

1231
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 1: talk about it. So I was like, remember the advice

1232
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 1: you give to your besties and heed that yourself and

1233
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: do something kind for yourself. And then it stopped me

1234
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:39,480
Speaker 1: out of it. Let's get to the next one. Any

1235
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:42,880
Speaker 1: thoughts Andrews, Sorry to no no. I I think that's

1236
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 1: all great. I think you know. Joe Rogan has a

1237
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,520
Speaker 1: bald head, so he was like, Nikki doesn't want this.

1238
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 1: Oh no. He was like, don't eat there, step on mine, yeah,

1239
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 1: don't step in my lane. Yeah, don't start working out.

1240
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 1: I'm doing curls. Let's get to a voice message from Chris. Hey, guys,

1241
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 1: gotta be honest. I kind of like no Drew Nick

1242
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 1: better than No Drew Key. I think it kind of

1243
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 1: sounds like a good name. No Drew Nick Drew Nick.

1244
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:15,000
Speaker 1: That's all. No Drew Kei is the name that someone

1245
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:20,880
Speaker 1: gave us for Noah Nikki, Noah Andrew Nicki, No, no

1246
01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:23,920
Speaker 1: Drew Ki, and no no Drew Nick. Sorry, Chris, I

1247
01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:29,000
Speaker 1: mean you could do no and Nick or nick Nick,

1248
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 1: no Drew. Yeah, if we're going to do first parts,

1249
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:35,560
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I'm glad taking the

1250
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:39,680
Speaker 1: last spot um on there, but I you know, I

1251
01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 1: did Nicky and Sarah Live. That was a weird debate

1252
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: when we were naming that show Me and Sarah Schaefer.

1253
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:46,400
Speaker 1: It was like, should it be Sarah Nicki or Nick

1254
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,800
Speaker 1: and Sarah? Bottom line is Nicki and Sarah just sounds

1255
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:54,440
Speaker 1: like yeah. Um and we almost named this the Andrew

1256
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 1: Colin Podcast, but it just no one wanted it. And

1257
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:03,880
Speaker 1: uh no, no, three people, my mom, You're doing Andrew

1258
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:06,479
Speaker 1: and Nicky. Me and I had a show, the Nicky

1259
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 1: and Andrew Show, The Andrew and Nikki Show. I would

1260
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:11,840
Speaker 1: have to say, Andrew Nicky sounds better than Nicki Andrew.

1261
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 1: I would do Nicki and Andrew all day long, given

1262
01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:20,360
Speaker 1: our kind of like vibe, but like if we are

1263
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:25,240
Speaker 1: just even in a vacuum, Andrew Nicky, no Nicki and

1264
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 1: Andrew Andrew just nick nick better Andrew is more At

1265
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 1: the end, it's like it almost stops the sentence, like

1266
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:41,000
Speaker 1: Andrew Andrew, Nikki like Nicki like Nicky. Yeah, Yeah, it's

1267
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 1: a porn star's name. Nicki Glazer is the If I

1268
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 1: do porn, my name is going to have to be

1269
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 1: like Agatha Reynolds. It'll have to go the other way

1270
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:56,440
Speaker 1: because my name is so Glazer Nicky. Nicki is already

1271
01:03:56,440 --> 01:04:01,040
Speaker 1: like named Nicki, and I think probably ten percent is

1272
01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:05,920
Speaker 1: just because I'm Nikki. She's Nikki. Like you want to

1273
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 1: you want to hear the interaction of me and Nikki's Okay,

1274
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:09,480
Speaker 1: come up and meet me at a meeting, great and

1275
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:15,439
Speaker 1: say hi, Hi, Hi, what's your name? Nikki? How do you? Oh? Yes,

1276
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 1: how do you spell it? H? I love that you

1277
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:23,280
Speaker 1: know what I I. It's different than mine because I

1278
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:25,760
Speaker 1: do and I K Obviously you probably know that, but yeah,

1279
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,400
Speaker 1: and I and I is it? And I see k

1280
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:30,440
Speaker 1: y or and I kk y because oh it's with

1281
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:33,840
Speaker 1: the with the K two k's like you and I

1282
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 1: KK why I've never heard that. I love that. Bring

1283
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:38,640
Speaker 1: it in. Let's get this picture and get you moving.

1284
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 1: Just kidding. I love I love every nikki, but I

1285
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 1: do love when they're spelled the same as me. But

1286
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:48,480
Speaker 1: I like learning new spellings. However, I just want to say, Blake,

1287
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,960
Speaker 1: I need to say this. People keep coming up to

1288
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:52,959
Speaker 1: me and saying, I know you hate pictures. I don't

1289
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,440
Speaker 1: know when I put that out there. I do not

1290
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 1: hate pictures with fans. I love them. This guy came

1291
01:04:57,920 --> 01:05:00,440
Speaker 1: up yesterday goes, are you sure I listen to your podcast?

1292
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 1: Are you sure you hate you? Are you sure I

1293
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:04,960
Speaker 1: know you're not? You won't lie? And I go, I

1294
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 1: promise you. I want to take this picture. And he goes,

1295
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:09,400
Speaker 1: I really, and I go, you know what I don't like.

1296
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:12,600
Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you. Is this. I just trust me.

1297
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 1: Let's take the picture. And he goes, I won't tag you,

1298
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:18,520
Speaker 1: and I go, no, tag me. Keep your hand off

1299
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:21,240
Speaker 1: my ass, That's all I want. You have your phone

1300
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:24,320
Speaker 1: ready to go, But also I don't really care. This

1301
01:05:24,360 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 1: is for more bigger celebrities. Keep your phone, have your

1302
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,520
Speaker 1: phone in your purse, get it out take a picture

1303
01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 1: and then post that ship tag me in it, because

1304
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 1: that's really the hurtful thing is when people take a

1305
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 1: picture and then they ends up in their phone. Noah,

1306
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:38,400
Speaker 1: that they don't back up and it's just on a

1307
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:41,880
Speaker 1: phone in a fucking bin underneath your bed, Like, do

1308
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,000
Speaker 1: something with the picture so I can repost it if

1309
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 1: I look good. All right, let's hear from Sir Coke. Oh,

1310
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:52,120
Speaker 1: here we go, Coke cir Coke on Instagram. He says,

1311
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:58,600
Speaker 1: Andrew's dog made my dog bar whoa. Please don't do

1312
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:01,919
Speaker 1: it again. Hold on to everyone brings yourself. It's so loud.

1313
01:06:06,280 --> 01:06:10,959
Speaker 1: Look okay, okay, um, we need to put that dog down.

1314
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:13,880
Speaker 1: I'm taking that into what I'm saying, don't even try

1315
01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 1: to get it adopted. We need to end this thing's life.

1316
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:20,400
Speaker 1: That is a good dog. I love that, Thank you,

1317
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:22,560
Speaker 1: Sir Coke. Okay, let's get to a voice methode from

1318
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 1: Donnie d An. I Hi, Nikki and Andrew and Noah's

1319
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:33,720
Speaker 1: Love the Pod. I'm a Day one listener of course. Um.

1320
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:36,720
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say I've I've been playing guitar

1321
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:42,080
Speaker 1: for about eight years now, um and listening to Nikki's

1322
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:46,160
Speaker 1: rants the past few days has inspired me to write

1323
01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 1: the lyrics to my very first song. Um, so I

1324
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:53,600
Speaker 1: don't have a melody yet, but I've got some lyrics down.

1325
01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:56,120
Speaker 1: This is the furthest I've ever gotten, and I just

1326
01:06:56,160 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 1: wanted to say it was a lot easier than I

1327
01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:02,640
Speaker 1: thought it would be. Yes, about that? That so um

1328
01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:09,320
Speaker 1: and nothing about that was cut. You've been playing guitar

1329
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:12,560
Speaker 1: eight years. I'm so jealous. You're probably so good. Um,

1330
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:16,000
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you took the chance to like

1331
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:18,480
Speaker 1: because you can write a song. Everyone can write a song.

1332
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 1: That's what I thought was like, it's only for special people.

1333
01:07:20,960 --> 01:07:24,440
Speaker 1: But um, you also can write a song. Anyone can,

1334
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 1: and UM, that's so cool. I want to hear your song, Danny.

1335
01:07:28,560 --> 01:07:30,360
Speaker 1: Will you send it to me when you're done, and

1336
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:34,280
Speaker 1: on Instagram or through the email. Um, we won't play

1337
01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:35,840
Speaker 1: it on the show, but I would like to hear it.

1338
01:07:36,080 --> 01:07:37,560
Speaker 1: I mean we we will if you want us to,

1339
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 1: or if it's good enough. But um, I'll send you

1340
01:07:40,040 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 1: my song if you send me yours, and you can't

1341
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:48,520
Speaker 1: share mine with anyone. But I haven't even Oh my god,

1342
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:52,000
Speaker 1: I serious the universe. I don't I believe in God

1343
01:07:52,440 --> 01:07:56,560
Speaker 1: and I believe that God that things happen cosmically, but

1344
01:07:56,800 --> 01:08:02,680
Speaker 1: what just happened is insane. So honestly, our listeners now

1345
01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:05,640
Speaker 1: know that this show is put together. This is how

1346
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 1: it goes. Noah look reads over news stories and then

1347
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 1: compiles a list. She sends those to Andrew. Andrew then

1348
01:08:12,760 --> 01:08:15,640
Speaker 1: selects two to three stories from that list, including a

1349
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 1: celebrity one for why do you Care? And it's all random.

1350
01:08:18,439 --> 01:08:20,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. Usually Originally I was like, let me

1351
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:22,479
Speaker 1: pick the news stories. I think it's more fun for

1352
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:27,080
Speaker 1: me to not and it's less work. Um, but all

1353
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:29,760
Speaker 1: the segments that are have voice messages. I do not

1354
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:33,920
Speaker 1: vet these before because I'm too busy, and also it's

1355
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:36,760
Speaker 1: more fun. And then and then, and then we just

1356
01:08:36,760 --> 01:08:40,840
Speaker 1: get into random products. I cannot believe this. So here's

1357
01:08:40,880 --> 01:08:44,960
Speaker 1: a voice memo, and here's what it's called. Okay, this

1358
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,960
Speaker 1: is how she labeled it. By the way she labeled

1359
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,880
Speaker 1: it from because you get to say who you are

1360
01:08:49,880 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 1: when you just what you get type it in. She

1361
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:54,320
Speaker 1: grew another Nikki and I k K, I seriously, my

1362
01:08:54,439 --> 01:08:58,880
Speaker 1: name is Nicole. I mean I can't. I can't. I'm like,

1363
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:01,439
Speaker 1: I didn't what either? I don't think you did. I

1364
01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:03,920
Speaker 1: don't lie. Okay, let's get into this, Nikki, what are

1365
01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:07,880
Speaker 1: you gonna love it? I can't. I'm gonna love it? Hi,

1366
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:13,160
Speaker 1: Nikki and Andrew and Noah. Um. So I'm twenty three.

1367
01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:17,400
Speaker 1: I just started masturbating and I'm just kind of looking

1368
01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:21,840
Speaker 1: for any tips. I'm really not getting anything out of it.

1369
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:25,519
Speaker 1: I I feel like I can really only get off

1370
01:09:25,680 --> 01:09:29,720
Speaker 1: my partner, So yeah, if there's any tips for that.

1371
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:34,360
Speaker 1: And then also I started trying out anal with a

1372
01:09:34,439 --> 01:09:37,759
Speaker 1: vibrator and does it just feel good? Because it feels

1373
01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:41,840
Speaker 1: like you're you're shipping or is like, what's what's going

1374
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:46,240
Speaker 1: on back there? I don't know. Uh, let me know, Nikki,

1375
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:51,880
Speaker 1: I love you. She sounds like the girl from American Pie.

1376
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:56,040
Speaker 1: One time at band camp, I put antal beat in

1377
01:09:56,120 --> 01:10:00,080
Speaker 1: my ass. I love people that you know. She's so

1378
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:02,639
Speaker 1: she's so pure that she just started masturbating at twenty three,

1379
01:10:02,880 --> 01:10:04,320
Speaker 1: which is a late start, we can all agree. But

1380
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:06,439
Speaker 1: that's around the time when I first started touching myself

1381
01:10:06,439 --> 01:10:08,160
Speaker 1: too for pleasure and didn't know what the funk I

1382
01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:09,840
Speaker 1: was doing and struggled with it for so long. So

1383
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:11,720
Speaker 1: I relate so much. But at the same time she's

1384
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:14,320
Speaker 1: also like and then and then she just jumps into

1385
01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:16,440
Speaker 1: the anal thing. There's like the innocence of not masturbating,

1386
01:10:16,439 --> 01:10:18,400
Speaker 1: but then like she's also trying anal. I love you

1387
01:10:18,439 --> 01:10:21,719
Speaker 1: so much, Nikki, You're it sounded like I was listening

1388
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:27,200
Speaker 1: to myself to be honest. Um, tips for masturbation. I

1389
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:32,880
Speaker 1: would get the right toys think about during penetration. If

1390
01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:38,559
Speaker 1: you like platoral stimulation or inside stuff. Um, if so like,

1391
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:42,400
Speaker 1: Based on that, I would have a clip sucking device

1392
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:45,120
Speaker 1: that has no extra attachments that can just latch onto

1393
01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:47,479
Speaker 1: your clip that you hold at the top, and then

1394
01:10:47,479 --> 01:10:52,679
Speaker 1: I would have a thrusting like dildo. The Shameless flirt

1395
01:10:52,800 --> 01:10:55,439
Speaker 1: is the one that I recommend. It's called the Shameless slort.

1396
01:10:55,439 --> 01:10:58,000
Speaker 1: It's green, and I would I would have that so

1397
01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:02,320
Speaker 1: you have penetration plus the suck of a little suction thing. Um,

1398
01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:04,760
Speaker 1: there's tons of those little sucking things. That's like the

1399
01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:08,439
Speaker 1: satisfier is one the womanizer, but there everyone has them

1400
01:11:08,439 --> 01:11:11,880
Speaker 1: now and I would uh start and then also get

1401
01:11:11,880 --> 01:11:15,160
Speaker 1: a magic wand start with the wand watch porn. Think

1402
01:11:15,160 --> 01:11:18,799
Speaker 1: about things that make you horny, um, and then slowly

1403
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:21,759
Speaker 1: like tease yourself, like actually try to like tempt yourself

1404
01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:24,600
Speaker 1: and try not to come. How about that try and

1405
01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:27,639
Speaker 1: exercise where you do everything you can not to come.

1406
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:30,519
Speaker 1: What do you what if she does come though, Nikki?

1407
01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:33,639
Speaker 1: What are you gonna do to her? Oh? Well, you

1408
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:39,000
Speaker 1: don't even wanna know what I could. I got a

1409
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:43,679
Speaker 1: lot of recks up my sleeves. You better, I'm gonna

1410
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:49,080
Speaker 1: go take a shower. I'll be back planet. What about

1411
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:51,760
Speaker 1: using it with a partner to like maybe break out

1412
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:53,880
Speaker 1: a little vibrator so and then it's like connected with

1413
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:56,720
Speaker 1: that partner. Maybe, Yeah, I think try to masturbate in

1414
01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:58,360
Speaker 1: front of partner. I'm not a sex expert either. I

1415
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:01,599
Speaker 1: would actually send you to set with Emily dot Com

1416
01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:05,640
Speaker 1: has tons of just advice on every different thing you

1417
01:12:05,640 --> 01:12:08,800
Speaker 1: could ask for, and she actually has the way she

1418
01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:12,320
Speaker 1: talks about, like, you know, just being aware of your

1419
01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:14,800
Speaker 1: body and like focusing on your vagina and focusing on

1420
01:12:14,840 --> 01:12:16,960
Speaker 1: your body and like feeling it like can really help

1421
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:20,680
Speaker 1: facilitate pleasure that you can't tap into otherwise. No, what

1422
01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 1: were you going to say? So? I had a friend

1423
01:12:23,120 --> 01:12:25,120
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's very important to say this

1424
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:28,000
Speaker 1: because she brought up putting a vibrator near her butt hole.

1425
01:12:28,280 --> 01:12:30,840
Speaker 1: I had a friend who's an X ray technician, and

1426
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:34,599
Speaker 1: so many people came in because they had stuff sucked

1427
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:37,280
Speaker 1: up their butts. And it's very important if you're going

1428
01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:39,320
Speaker 1: to use a dildo in your butt, make sure it

1429
01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:43,920
Speaker 1: has the stopper, yes, because otherwise it's going right up

1430
01:12:43,920 --> 01:12:47,479
Speaker 1: in there. That's the thing about an asshole. Thank you know, ah,

1431
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:51,760
Speaker 1: your assholes very tight, and it will things go in,

1432
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:54,720
Speaker 1: it won't. It's not like a vagina can't. Like, it's

1433
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:56,240
Speaker 1: not going to be as easy to push it out.

1434
01:12:56,439 --> 01:13:00,040
Speaker 1: So definitely get anal like tools and Nikki, you're a

1435
01:13:00,240 --> 01:13:04,680
Speaker 1: singer right in my special the Half Hour on Netflix,

1436
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:07,200
Speaker 1: if you want to hear me talk about anal, I

1437
01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:08,400
Speaker 1: have a lot to say about it, but I do

1438
01:13:08,479 --> 01:13:11,559
Speaker 1: say on that special that you will like anal if

1439
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:14,840
Speaker 1: you like shitting. And that's true if you take ships

1440
01:13:14,880 --> 01:13:17,559
Speaker 1: sometimes and they feel so orgasmic, which is the way

1441
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:19,800
Speaker 1: it feels for me sometimes I would say one in

1442
01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:24,680
Speaker 1: every I'm like, oh my god, like I literally I

1443
01:13:24,680 --> 01:13:26,639
Speaker 1: would like to just ship forever if it always felt

1444
01:13:26,640 --> 01:13:28,680
Speaker 1: that way. It's it just feels like an orgasm. That

1445
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 1: is the way it feels too. Yes, you think you're

1446
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:34,759
Speaker 1: shipping the whole time that you have anything in your asshole,

1447
01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:36,559
Speaker 1: because your assholes not used to having things up there,

1448
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:39,080
Speaker 1: so it just thinks it's poop. So when you pull out,

1449
01:13:39,200 --> 01:13:41,920
Speaker 1: when you like are inserting a thing in your butt

1450
01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:43,640
Speaker 1: and pulling it in and out, it's gonna feel like

1451
01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:45,240
Speaker 1: poop going in and out, and you're gonna think that

1452
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:48,400
Speaker 1: you're just shipping everywhere, which you might be, so do

1453
01:13:48,439 --> 01:13:52,920
Speaker 1: you know, but um, you could be if you don't

1454
01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:56,200
Speaker 1: clean yourself out first. But uh, yes, it does feel

1455
01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:58,240
Speaker 1: like you're shipping. And if that's not pleasurable for you,

1456
01:13:58,280 --> 01:14:00,960
Speaker 1: maybe it's not for you. But I would still, um

1457
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:04,439
Speaker 1: keep trying and see if it works, because I think

1458
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:07,160
Speaker 1: shipping can be really pleasurable to like try to and

1459
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:10,240
Speaker 1: I think that's there's something there's there's something going on there.

1460
01:14:10,560 --> 01:14:12,200
Speaker 1: It feels so good. Do you ever feel that way,

1461
01:14:12,200 --> 01:14:16,599
Speaker 1: Andrew when you ship? Yeah? For sure, Yeah, Yeah, there's

1462
01:14:16,680 --> 01:14:20,639
Speaker 1: certain there's almost like an orgasmic feel to it. Yeah. Yeah.

1463
01:14:20,680 --> 01:14:22,680
Speaker 1: And then you look in the bow and it's just

1464
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:28,120
Speaker 1: like a dick. I mean, I've I mean we've all

1465
01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:31,400
Speaker 1: had poops before where it's like I could give birth

1466
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:35,280
Speaker 1: out of my like you know where you're like, people go,

1467
01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:37,120
Speaker 1: oh my god, how could you have to dig up there?

1468
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:40,240
Speaker 1: Then your your buttle never go back to normal? Shut up,

1469
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:42,840
Speaker 1: Shut up when I talk about anal and anyone that

1470
01:14:43,120 --> 01:14:45,920
Speaker 1: thinks that I have a baggy asshole because I've done anal,

1471
01:14:46,160 --> 01:14:51,040
Speaker 1: you know, probably seventy times in my life. You're so

1472
01:14:51,080 --> 01:14:54,240
Speaker 1: stupid because your ships are so much bigger than dicks.

1473
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:58,559
Speaker 1: Sometimes they are bigger than dicks. Should be a shirt,

1474
01:14:58,760 --> 01:15:02,840
Speaker 1: for sure. Ships are bigger than but you sometimes look

1475
01:15:02,840 --> 01:15:04,720
Speaker 1: at the toilet and you go, that's a straight up dick.

1476
01:15:05,920 --> 01:15:11,160
Speaker 1: You know, it's so gross. Sorry, everyone rending the week

1477
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:17,880
Speaker 1: on a weird note. Final lot Andrew Family. Yeah, I'm

1478
01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:21,320
Speaker 1: excited speaking of ship. Uh yeah, I'm gonna go see

1479
01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:24,600
Speaker 1: my nephews. So I'm excited. And you haven't seen them

1480
01:15:24,640 --> 01:15:29,320
Speaker 1: in a while. How old are they? Uh seven? Like

1481
01:15:29,640 --> 01:15:33,439
Speaker 1: six four and one and a half. I'm probably wrong,

1482
01:15:33,840 --> 01:15:37,080
Speaker 1: and then Teddy is nine months the other one, So

1483
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:41,920
Speaker 1: four nephews. It's all your family together. Yeah, my dad's

1484
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:44,760
Speaker 1: driving up. He bought a new Sprinter van, which is

1485
01:15:44,800 --> 01:15:47,000
Speaker 1: like that Mercedes van that has like a bed in it.

1486
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 1: Almost killed Tracy Morgan. Yeah. Yeah, and that accident that's

1487
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:53,559
Speaker 1: why it was so fucked up. They were all just like,

1488
01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:57,960
Speaker 1: you know, out of their seats, like just like you know,

1489
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,400
Speaker 1: So my dad is afraid of flying, but he won't

1490
01:16:01,439 --> 01:16:04,120
Speaker 1: admit it. He'll go, you know, I'm just older now,

1491
01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:09,840
Speaker 1: I don't need to fly. Trip from Florida to fucking Connecticut.

1492
01:16:10,920 --> 01:16:15,200
Speaker 1: He's driving seriously, like forty hours. It was twenty four hours,

1493
01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:19,920
Speaker 1: but yeah, but he won't admit that he's afraid. Like

1494
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:22,360
Speaker 1: it's so funny because my grandma was definitely afraid my

1495
01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:25,960
Speaker 1: little brother flying. For I remember my little brother story

1496
01:16:25,960 --> 01:16:28,559
Speaker 1: about when he was afraid of flying and the pilot

1497
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:31,760
Speaker 1: came back and my brother was crying and the pilots like,

1498
01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:33,240
Speaker 1: we'll get you there safe. And he looks up and

1499
01:16:33,280 --> 01:16:36,320
Speaker 1: he goes, who's flying the plane? Oh my god, that's

1500
01:16:36,320 --> 01:16:41,760
Speaker 1: so funny. It's in the air and the pilot like, okay,

1501
01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:44,439
Speaker 1: so there's a co pilot situation. But that is really funny.

1502
01:16:44,520 --> 01:16:48,679
Speaker 1: I um, that's it makes me so mad when people

1503
01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:51,400
Speaker 1: are scared of flying. It's like, it's I get it

1504
01:16:51,439 --> 01:16:53,519
Speaker 1: because I used to be scared of flying. But these

1505
01:16:53,520 --> 01:16:57,040
Speaker 1: old people, that's go their whole lives fearful of this thing,

1506
01:16:57,120 --> 01:16:59,600
Speaker 1: and then they always act like they like taking trains.

1507
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:04,240
Speaker 1: These are all because in the seventies, you know, when

1508
01:17:04,240 --> 01:17:06,599
Speaker 1: it was scarier and like people were smoking on the plane.

1509
01:17:06,640 --> 01:17:09,880
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, maybe that's why, Like maybe it's

1510
01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:13,080
Speaker 1: a irrational fair I mean it really is. It's the

1511
01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:15,200
Speaker 1: chances of you. They don't want to die that way.

1512
01:17:15,200 --> 01:17:16,680
Speaker 1: They don't want to take the chance that they might

1513
01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:19,920
Speaker 1: die that way. I get be a terrible way to die.

1514
01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:23,240
Speaker 1: But your dad is going to die someday, and it's

1515
01:17:23,280 --> 01:17:26,680
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be fun. It's gonna it's every I

1516
01:17:26,840 --> 01:17:29,439
Speaker 1: just like people there, you're just missing out on so

1517
01:17:29,520 --> 01:17:32,719
Speaker 1: much life by taking twenty four hours to drive across

1518
01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:34,640
Speaker 1: the country. And I think he's trying to look at

1519
01:17:34,640 --> 01:17:36,760
Speaker 1: it differently. I think he looks at it like I

1520
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:40,240
Speaker 1: get to see the country. I'm not. I'm retired. Why

1521
01:17:40,240 --> 01:17:42,360
Speaker 1: am I in a hurry to get anywhere? I kind

1522
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:45,679
Speaker 1: of like that approach we convince ourselves when we're scared.

1523
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,760
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen the mountains of Virginia, Nikki on

1524
01:17:49,880 --> 01:17:55,040
Speaker 1: a spring and Vedia? I mean, your dad could also

1525
01:17:55,080 --> 01:17:57,679
Speaker 1: see the mountains of Virginia as his plane flies into

1526
01:17:57,680 --> 01:18:00,600
Speaker 1: one too, he would have a really cool view of

1527
01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:04,439
Speaker 1: it right before he goesing. Is with flying. I don't

1528
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:06,719
Speaker 1: mean to make anyone feel bad about their phobia flying,

1529
01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:09,599
Speaker 1: because it's a real thing and like it's I understand,

1530
01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:13,680
Speaker 1: it's like truly crippling. But um, if you want to

1531
01:18:13,720 --> 01:18:17,040
Speaker 1: overcome your fear of flying, uh, there's an Alan Car

1532
01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:20,320
Speaker 1: book for that, and you don't. It's not gonna make

1533
01:18:20,360 --> 01:18:22,599
Speaker 1: you take a plane ride to read it. You just

1534
01:18:22,640 --> 01:18:25,479
Speaker 1: read it and see what happens. See what happens. Be

1535
01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:28,320
Speaker 1: open to the idea that this thing that millions of

1536
01:18:28,360 --> 01:18:32,800
Speaker 1: people do every day, and the chances of you being

1537
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:34,479
Speaker 1: in a plane crash, you would have to be flying

1538
01:18:34,560 --> 01:18:37,479
Speaker 1: for eight hundred years straight, never touching the ground, always

1539
01:18:37,479 --> 01:18:39,360
Speaker 1: in a plane for an incident to happen. And that

1540
01:18:39,439 --> 01:18:41,120
Speaker 1: does not mean a crash in which you die, because

1541
01:18:41,240 --> 01:18:44,280
Speaker 1: most crashes people don't die. They're just like little collisions

1542
01:18:44,320 --> 01:18:48,519
Speaker 1: on the runway. Those eight hundred years for you to

1543
01:18:48,520 --> 01:18:52,240
Speaker 1: have an incident a flying NonStop, those are the odds. Um.

1544
01:18:52,280 --> 01:18:53,840
Speaker 1: Some people don't want to take those odds, I guess,

1545
01:18:53,880 --> 01:18:57,360
Speaker 1: but you're you're missing out on life. And and fear

1546
01:18:57,439 --> 01:18:59,040
Speaker 1: is holding you back. But you know, I have a

1547
01:18:59,040 --> 01:19:01,479
Speaker 1: lot of fear of things too, so I relate. But

1548
01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:03,639
Speaker 1: your dad, come on, he is a smart enough man.

1549
01:19:04,680 --> 01:19:06,240
Speaker 1: You gotta give him ship for that. You've got to

1550
01:19:06,240 --> 01:19:08,720
Speaker 1: get into admitting what does he say? No I did.

1551
01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:11,840
Speaker 1: He's just like, no, you know, I'm not in a lane.

1552
01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:15,880
Speaker 1: He has he been playing like last year. Yeah, and

1553
01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:22,360
Speaker 1: he's flown to Europe. Flown but got it. Okay, it's

1554
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:27,599
Speaker 1: not it's not crippling completely, but yeah, if he crashed,

1555
01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:31,280
Speaker 1: But yeah, um, I do like the idea of looking at,

1556
01:19:31,360 --> 01:19:33,840
Speaker 1: you know, the plane tracker, and if you're plane was

1557
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:36,200
Speaker 1: going down and you just followed a tracker all the

1558
01:19:36,200 --> 01:19:38,600
Speaker 1: way to the ground. Kidding you. That's what happened on

1559
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:41,040
Speaker 1: my plane two days ago. When I woke up and

1560
01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:43,000
Speaker 1: we were about to land in Dallas. I was like,

1561
01:19:43,120 --> 01:19:46,040
Speaker 1: this plane has been hijacked. No one on the plane knows.

1562
01:19:46,120 --> 01:19:48,759
Speaker 1: I know, I'm about to watch the plane tracker plow

1563
01:19:48,880 --> 01:19:54,280
Speaker 1: into a silo in fucking I hate when people leave

1564
01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:56,800
Speaker 1: a tracker up the whole flight too, because they don't

1565
01:19:56,800 --> 01:19:58,439
Speaker 1: pay attention to it. But all I can do is

1566
01:19:58,479 --> 01:20:01,360
Speaker 1: look at it and realize I have another fucking five

1567
01:20:01,360 --> 01:20:04,639
Speaker 1: hours I'm tracking this podcast and we got to plow

1568
01:20:04,720 --> 01:20:08,360
Speaker 1: this thing into the deep blue sea. Guys, thank you

1569
01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:12,160
Speaker 1: so much for listening. Thank you Andrew, thank you Noah,

1570
01:20:12,160 --> 01:20:15,320
Speaker 1: thank you besties. We will see you on Monday. Have

1571
01:20:15,439 --> 01:20:17,720
Speaker 1: a great, great weekend and watch me on Bill mar

1572
01:20:17,800 --> 01:20:20,720
Speaker 1: tomorrow night Friday. And please consider getting tickets to my

1573
01:20:20,760 --> 01:20:23,160
Speaker 1: tour because it's shaping up and it's gonna be so

1574
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:26,080
Speaker 1: so fun Nikki lays dot com slash Tour. And also

1575
01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:28,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be at in Cancoun November three through the

1576
01:20:28,680 --> 01:20:34,559
Speaker 1: seventh on a special vacation UH destination uh event comedy

1577
01:20:34,560 --> 01:20:37,480
Speaker 1: event in Camcoun. You can find details on my Instagram.

1578
01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:41,240
Speaker 1: Thank you guys, so much, love you, See you Monday. Okay,