1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts. 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you. 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: from these sponsors, So stick around two minutes we'll get 6 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: into the episode. 7 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,120 Speaker 3: My ex boyfriend cheated on me before the most important day. 8 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 4: Of my life got at least wait a day. 9 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 3: Come on, bye twenty six female x thirty three mail. 10 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 3: At the time had been together for four and a 11 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 3: half years. We had a rough start, and honestly, he 12 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 3: showed all of his red flags at the beginning, and 13 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 3: I chose to ignore them. We met through a mutual 14 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,199 Speaker 3: friend in it off right away. I was gone the 15 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 3: first month of our relationship for a family trip, but 16 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,159 Speaker 3: we talked every day. When I got back, I started 17 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 3: seeing how bad his drinking was, so I brought it 18 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 3: to his attention, and he tried to be better, such 19 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 3: as sticking to a certain number. 20 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,560 Speaker 2: When we were with friends and such. 21 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 3: And by the way, this comes from user exotic self 22 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 3: four four three nine on the r slash Charlotte do 23 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,279 Speaker 3: Brae YouTube subreddit. 24 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stores. 25 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 4: What's you come on down? 26 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:02,639 Speaker 2: To the ar slash Okase story. 27 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 4: Time summer, it is a bit a there. 28 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 3: So I finally asked if we could take the weekend 29 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 3: and be sober and talk again on Monday and have 30 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 3: a clear conversation. He of course, went out with someone else, 31 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 3: and I got a call from his sister that night 32 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 3: saying he hadn't come home yet and asked if I 33 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,039 Speaker 3: was with him, because he told her I would be. 34 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 3: I said no, and after a lot of chaos, I 35 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,960 Speaker 3: got him home and went over to talk to him 36 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 3: the next day, because at this point he was never 37 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 3: going to stop for at least a day. I sat 38 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 3: down as he cried, cried every time I had to 39 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 3: remind him what he did. I said, as much as 40 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 3: I care about him, I don't want this from my life, 41 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,200 Speaker 3: so I'm okay if he wants to beat this person, 42 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 3: I just can't stay around. 43 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,759 Speaker 2: He quit cold turkey that day. 44 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 3: Three months into our relationship, he decided he decided he 45 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 3: couldn't trust himself without me around, so he moved in 46 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 3: with me right away, and then the VID hit real quick. 47 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 3: He and I definitely come from different backgrounds. I got 48 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 3: everything I ever needed growing up a good, loving family. 49 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 3: I went to private schools and was working on my 50 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 3: bachelor's degree. He, on the other hand, had a rough life, 51 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 3: growing up lots of substances and getting mixed up in 52 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 3: bad news. And once was ambitious, but after a bad 53 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 3: previous relationship and a bad accident, he fell into depression 54 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 3: and drinking. 55 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 2: During the VID, things were pretty bad. 56 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 3: I'm a really happy person, always optimistic and ambitious and 57 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 3: always had a goal in mind and nothing was going 58 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 3: to stop me from getting there. 59 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,920 Speaker 2: He wasn't always like this either. 60 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 3: We had plenty of times where we were happy, cooked together, 61 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 3: took long rides together, enjoyed the life we were living 62 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 3: with the more than frequent. 63 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 2: Fighting and tears. 64 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:40,959 Speaker 3: I got a job after graduation, waiting for the VID 65 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 3: to ends so I could go to grad school. It 66 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 3: was always the plan, and I told him from the 67 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 3: beginning I couldn't stay in our home state to do 68 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 3: what I wanted to do, and he agreed. He has 69 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 3: never lived anywhere else but the small town we met. 70 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 3: After three and a half years since we got together, 71 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 3: I finally got into grad school across the country and 72 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 3: was so excited to be almost there. I saved up 73 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 3: money for the entire year so I wouldn't have to 74 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,119 Speaker 3: work while at school and he would have a job 75 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 3: to help. He, of course was apprehensive, but agreed to 76 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 3: go with I did give him the choice, but I 77 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 3: was going with or without him. We moved, and boy, 78 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 3: oh boy, I didn't know what we were in for. 79 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 3: We had never lived in a big city, and it 80 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 3: made both of us more depressed. But I was still 81 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 3: excited to get my degree and worked hard for it. 82 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 3: In the meantime, during the year and a half it 83 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 3: took me to get my master's, he failed to find 84 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 3: a job, so I paid for everything, and that washed 85 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 3: out my entire savings. He did try, but for some 86 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 3: reason he had bad luck or it didn't feel right 87 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 3: to him. I'm not too sure, but I was not 88 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 3: happy sure about that. While we were there, I found 89 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 3: out I had some health problems that contributed to me 90 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 3: not feeling like, being weak and losing hair, finding spicy, sleep, painful, 91 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 3: and just overall a shell of myself. 92 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 2: He was relieved to hear that. 93 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 3: There was some wrong with me, and it wasn't that 94 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 3: I was unattracted to him, but to be honest, I 95 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 3: had been through so much I think to an extent 96 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 3: that was true I started treatment, and it's taking me 97 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 3: all the way until now to feel like myself again. 98 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 3: He wanted to excel in his passion of weight training, 99 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 3: so I thought I could help support him since he 100 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 3: was supporting me for my dreams. He thought he could 101 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 3: start something back in his hometown, so he started flying 102 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 3: back and forth to work on his goal. 103 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,280 Speaker 2: I was supportive. 104 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 3: I just wanted him to finally be happy and finally 105 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 3: maybe help pay for a life for us. He'd be 106 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 3: gone anywhere from a week to a month at a time. 107 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 3: Finally the day came. I was getting ready for family 108 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 3: and friends to fly in to see me graduate with 109 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 3: my masters. 110 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 2: This was the most. 111 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 3: Important day to me because I never got a proper 112 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 3: graduation due to the VID, and I got a job 113 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 3: offer in the field. I had been working my entire 114 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 3: life to get. This was my dream finally coming true. 115 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 3: Something had been bugging me that something wasn't right between us. 116 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 3: This was one of the hardest years of our lives. 117 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 3: But before I began my new chapter, I needed to 118 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 3: know everything. As we were going to bed, he was 119 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 3: downstairs shutting everything off, and I decided to check his phone. 120 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 3: I found his deleted messages. I found in his deleted messages, 121 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 3: messages to a girl, clearly flirting, calling her all the 122 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 3: names he called me, saying spicy sleep is better with her, 123 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 3: how she how he wanted to be with her, sending 124 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 3: pictures and more and more. 125 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 4: Yikes, dune yikes. 126 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 3: Staring longingly into a bowl of ice cream, like, yeah, 127 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 3: I know that guy is a red flag crazy dude. 128 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 4: No, he cheated. 129 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 3: He's bad, and you knew he was bad the whole time. 130 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 3: You said that, you saw the red flags, and you 131 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,159 Speaker 3: were just like no. I'm sure there were probably. 132 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 2: More girls and more messages, but I didn't get that far. 133 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 3: He came upstairs and I told him to stop once 134 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 3: he got to the door, and told him I was 135 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 3: going to read to him what I just read so 136 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 3: we could both be on the same page. I didn't 137 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 3: get too far into reading before he tackled me for 138 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,359 Speaker 3: his phone and ran out of the house to his 139 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 3: truck and drove away. I called my best friend, who 140 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 3: was flying in that night, also the friend that introduced us, 141 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 3: and she was shocked. When he finally returned home, he 142 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,600 Speaker 3: said he had deleted everything from his phone because he 143 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,279 Speaker 3: didn't want there to be anything else that I could misconstrue, 144 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 3: but promised that was the only girl. Buddy, What do 145 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 3: I look like? I just blew in from stupid town? 146 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 3: What this is another classic? There's no list? 147 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 2: What list are you talking about? Yeah, there was never 148 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 2: a list. What do you mean? 149 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 4: I didn't even bring up a list? 150 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 2: Are you talking about? There was never anything in my phone? Look, 151 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 2: I deleted it. Look I deleted it. And also you. 152 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 3: Misunderstood what that even was, which is why I deleted 153 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 3: it because I hate just people misunderstanding me. 154 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 5: But also that was like the only girl that you 155 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 5: that you could have misunderstood anything about. 156 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 4: It was the only girl that I cheated on you with. 157 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 5: But also you misunderstood, and so I'm just leading so 158 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 5: you can't misunderstand anything else because it's. 159 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 4: Your fault, your phone. I was right for tackling you 160 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 4: to the ground. 161 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 3: It's like the equivalent of like you're walking down the 162 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 3: beach and then your partner just grabs your phone and 163 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 3: throws it into the ocean like that literally, and they're like, no, 164 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 3: it was I was saving you. Actually, the fat phone 165 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 3: is danger next, Yeah, the phone was dangerous. Yeah, because 166 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 3: I thought maybe if you accidentally walked into the water, 167 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 3: it would like shock you like no, so I just 168 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 3: don't worry about it. Also, whatever you were reading must 169 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 3: have been a fanfit that I deleted. I saw his 170 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 3: phone again and sure enough, he deleted everything. His phone 171 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 3: was totally white. We had a big fight and he 172 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 3: would now sleep on the couch for the rest of 173 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 3: the week while I celebrated with everyone who came to 174 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 3: support me. We didn't really have time to talk with 175 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 3: everything going on. But the night before my graduation he 176 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 3: and I went to pick up food for everyone and talked. 177 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 3: He was weeping, saying he's never been a cheater, he 178 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 3: doesn't recognize himself and I don't deserve this. 179 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 2: I saved his life. I'm a good person. Blah blah, 180 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 2: blah blah blah. 181 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 3: I said, I have never been this selfish to him, 182 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 3: and this was the most it's important thing I was 183 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 3: going to do in my life, and he tainted it. 184 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 3: He suggested couples counseling and I said, sounds great. You're 185 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 3: going to pay for it, and he nodded and hung 186 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 3: his head. Onto the day of graduation, I was on 187 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 3: cloud nine. I walked across the stage through my hat 188 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 3: in the air, and I turned around to where my 189 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 3: family was and I see him, and all I can 190 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 3: do is cry, cry because I was finally here, and 191 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 3: then cry harder because the one person I thought would 192 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 3: be even more happy for me was the one who 193 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 3: broke my heart into pieces, and all I could see 194 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 3: was a stranger. Festivities went on and he didn't come 195 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 3: to anything. After I had dropped off the last of 196 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 3: my family at the airport, I was alone for the 197 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 3: first time since all of this and cried all the 198 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 3: way home. When I got home, he asked me what 199 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 3: was wrong, and I told him I was alone for 200 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,439 Speaker 3: the first time, and all. 201 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 2: He did was say, oh. 202 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 3: And I looked up at him and said, you're breaking 203 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 3: up with me. He nodded his head and said we 204 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 3: should talk. 205 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 4: I'm sorry. What how did we get there? How did 206 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 4: we get there? How did we get there? 207 00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 3: So he's going to be like, honestly, I just can't 208 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,679 Speaker 3: respect to you anymore after you didn't break up with 209 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 3: me when you discovered did I cheated? 210 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,680 Speaker 4: Honestly? Like the fact that you went through my phone. 211 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 5: The fact that I had to tackle you just so 212 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 5: that you could stop is like really crazy and. 213 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 4: I should never have to do that. 214 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 5: I hated doing that more than you hated being tackled. Yeah, true, true, Yeah, 215 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,600 Speaker 5: this hurts me more than it hurts you. 216 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy needs to get Oklahoma drio. 217 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 4: That's crazy, dude, for real. 218 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 2: I assume the tackle was into like the bed. 219 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, I assume the tackle was not like a full 220 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 3: form linebacker tackle. 221 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, but like still trying to physically tackle you to 222 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 5: get the phone out of your hands. 223 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 3: Man handled to get the phone out of the hands, 224 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 3: out of the door, and leaves and then come back 225 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,840 Speaker 3: and he's like, well, I thank god I deleted all 226 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,960 Speaker 3: that stuff so that you wouldn't be used anymore. 227 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 4: That's insane, dude. No, he's bringing up with her. 228 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy girl. 229 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. 230 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 5: I hope that every time he goes to a restaurant 231 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 5: they're always out of whatever he wants to order. 232 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 4: I hope that so hard, dude. 233 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 2: I hope your cold gaspacho is always warm. 234 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, you foolauze man. 235 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,599 Speaker 3: It was a long night, but I wasn't going to 236 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 3: change his mind, and nor did I want to. Two 237 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 3: days later, he flew his dad out, packed up his car, 238 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 3: and left back to his hometown. After four and a 239 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 3: half years, I did try reaching out to the girl, 240 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 3: just seeing if she would talk to me. I'm not 241 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 3: mad at her completely, but I just wanted to know, 242 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 3: and she blocked me without saying a word. I do 243 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 3: now know she was married with kids. This is a 244 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 3: woman he never wanted me to get to know anyway. 245 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 3: I only talked to him if it had something to 246 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,959 Speaker 3: do with logistics. But after everything was said and done, 247 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 3: I never wanted to talk to this man ever again. 248 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 2: He was the worst years of my life. 249 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 3: He was going to propose to me, but before he left, 250 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,679 Speaker 3: I gave him back our promise rings. I then moved 251 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 3: to a different city closer to the job. I got 252 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 3: to a place we had picked out together, with no 253 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 3: family and no friends, just my two dogs, which is 254 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 3: a blessing because without them I wouldn't have made it 255 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 3: through these four and a half years. Honestly, there's nothing 256 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 3: to say. It's like this guy cheated on you. He's 257 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 3: moving out, You're doing good. WHI just sorry, superman. I 258 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 3: moved and made a lot of new friends, and four 259 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 3: months later I met someone who is from my home 260 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,080 Speaker 3: state and in a similar field as me, and we 261 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 3: have been inseparable since. He has his own dog, works 262 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 3: at the same place I do, and after a year 263 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 3: and a half together, we're a happy little family and 264 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 3: are looking to the rest of our lives together. 265 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 2: I'm still working at my. 266 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,559 Speaker 3: Dream job, living in an amazing place that feels much 267 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 3: better to me, and I'm happier than I've ever been. 268 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 3: As for my ex, I blocked him and everyone that 269 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 3: was associated with him, and I haven't heard anything about 270 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 3: him besides that he got into a relationship with a 271 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 3: woman his age with many kids. 272 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 2: Honestly, the complete opposite of me. I'll be honest. 273 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 3: I hold a lot of resentment in my heart that 274 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 3: I have been working on, but my amazing boyfriend now 275 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 3: has made it easy to fall feel at peace and 276 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,440 Speaker 3: show me what real safety and love and loyalty feels like. 277 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:54,199 Speaker 6: Oh beautiful, that's so beautiful. 278 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 4: Did I say that they had a talk together, that 279 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 4: he had. 280 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 3: A dog dog and she had two dogs, and then 281 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 3: their dogs came down and so cute. 282 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 5: I just discovered he's married, So I'm telling his wife 283 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 5: about us. 284 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 2: Ah, good luck with that dude. 285 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 5: Thirty four female didn't know that he fifty three male, 286 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 5: was married. 287 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 4: When we met at work. 288 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 5: We were friends for half of a year, eating lunch 289 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 5: or getting coffee daily and texting on weekends. He got 290 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 5: closer and he kept asking me to have drinks after 291 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 5: work or get lunch on weekends. 292 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 4: After a year, I agreed. 293 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 5: One night during drinks, he hugged me and so that 294 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 5: he felt like he could be himself with me. A 295 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 5: week later, he kissed me and told me that he 296 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 5: loved me, and that's how we began. By the way, 297 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 5: this comes from a maleficent step six to sixty seven 298 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 5: and if you want us to make your own stories, 299 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 5: go to the r slash okay storytime at Supreddit. So 300 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,920 Speaker 5: as he was late forties early fifties with teenage kids, 301 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 5: I never questioned why he didn't invite me to his house, 302 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,439 Speaker 5: but he slept over at mine often, and I live 303 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 5: in a nice part of town where restaurants and concert 304 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 5: venues were, so it made sense why we hung out 305 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 5: in my place and not his and supper. I could 306 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 5: never have imagined that the man I fell in love 307 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 5: with was a bad person, so I made so many 308 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,199 Speaker 5: excuses in my head, ignoring the obvious signs as they 309 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 5: came up during the first year of our relationship. Realizing, okay, 310 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 5: he's married legally, but maybe he separated. Maybe she's a 311 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,319 Speaker 5: Safacan allowing him spicy sleep. Maybe it's an open marriage. 312 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 5: Maybe they don't like each other but are staying for 313 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 5: the kids. Once, after about a year, I saw him 314 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 5: texting his wife, calling her a moore and kissing face emojis, 315 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,959 Speaker 5: and I felt like the stupidest person on earth. All 316 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 5: the while, he was telling me that he loved me 317 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 5: so much and wished that he could restart his life 318 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 5: to hold on. 319 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 4: To meet me. 320 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 5: Every time I said how disgusted I felt with myself 321 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 5: and that I am a total pos he would love 322 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 5: bomb me even harder. I'm not his first affair, probably 323 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 5: the twentieth woman he's slept with since getting married, but 324 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 5: he claims that I'm the first that he's fallen in 325 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 5: love with. He claimed that his affairs started when his 326 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 5: wife told him that she didn't want to have spicy 327 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 5: sleep anymore after having kids ten years ago, But then 328 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,960 Speaker 5: later he told me that the last time he had 329 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 5: spicy sleep with his wife was the same year he 330 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 5: had met me. Later, I found out that he had 331 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 5: been cheating on her ever since that they were engaged, 332 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 5: and he never stopped. Since his work allows him to 333 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 5: travel a lot, and he told me quote funny stories 334 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,080 Speaker 5: about threesomes in Australia, one night stands in New Orleans 335 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 5: and getting hit all my girls in fancy hotel bars 336 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 5: in Paris, sleeping with spicy dancers and waitresses at twin 337 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 5: peaks and nightclubs. That's actually one of the reasons why 338 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 5: I didn't think he was married, because if he was, 339 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 5: how could he get away with so much For almost 340 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 5: twenty five years. He even brought back a few women 341 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,600 Speaker 5: to the house that he shared with his family. He 342 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 5: told me not to feel bad. If it wasn't me, 343 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 5: he would be with one of them. The guilt of 344 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 5: my part to play and my desire to do the 345 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 5: right thing are now strongest. When I found out he 346 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 5: was married, I wanted to see his wife for myself, 347 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 5: to ask her what the deal was with their marriage. 348 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 4: But if I'm going to be honest, I loved. 349 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 5: Him too much and didn't have the strengths to give 350 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 5: him up, and it was if it was really full 351 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 5: on cheating. He told me recently, he was just telling 352 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 5: me he loved me in the past because he wanted 353 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 5: me to be his girlfriend. 354 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 4: Since those days three years ago, he's changed which is mine? 355 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 4: Who is this man? 356 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 2: Honestly though, like, I'm like you kinda you've earned this. 357 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 2: I hope this is a big old wake up call 358 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 2: for you. I hope so, because what you worked to 359 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 2: get here, right he said? 360 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 5: He said, Oh, like, man, I loved you, but I 361 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 5: just said that to you to get you to be 362 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 5: my girlfriend. 363 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 4: And now three years later, I changed my mind. 364 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 3: You should maybe not believe the things that come out 365 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 3: of the guy who openly flexes. 366 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 2: He's cheated on his wife with twenty plus people. 367 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 4: And three years ago. Dude, they've been together for three years. 368 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 3: Now, this girl, Yeah, call me the weekend because I'm 369 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 3: gonna say, girl, you earned it. 370 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 5: He also said, I told my wife I'd love her 371 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 5: forever and promised to always be hers. 372 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 4: But that's not true anymore, is it. 373 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 5: His mask came completely off, and any love I used 374 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 5: to have for him has turned to absolute hatred. 375 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 2: Good. 376 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 5: I never told his wife because I was weak and 377 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 5: because I loved him too much to hurt him. But 378 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 5: now it's different. His wife is a stay at home mom. Frankly, 379 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 5: he uses that fact to financially her. After a few years. 380 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 5: I saw the game he plays. He has a separate phone, 381 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 5: separate credit card, separate bank account that is actually his 382 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 5: dad's bank account that he has a debit card for. 383 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 5: He makes the money, pays the bills, pays the taxes, 384 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 5: handles any finances and phone bills. His wife can use 385 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 5: their joint credit card whenever she wants, and he always 386 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 5: pays it, so she has no need to look into 387 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 5: their joint bank account. She probably never questions why their 388 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 5: bank account doesn't get direct posits from his. 389 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 4: Work and is instead a transfer. 390 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 5: She never asks questions how come their taxes say he 391 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 5: makes so much more than what ends up in their bank, 392 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 5: and she never asks questions about how come there are 393 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 5: extra credit cards being used by him that she doesn't 394 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 5: know about. I heard him say that he works and 395 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 5: makes money in their family, so he gets to have 396 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 5: fun and do whatever he wants. I laughed once because 397 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 5: he said he likes a woman with ambition who works. 398 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 5: But that's funny because he cannot take any criticism. One 399 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 5: of his complaints about me, and really what he wants 400 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 5: is a woman who shuts up whenever he tells her 401 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 5: to stop asking questions and give freedom. I know that 402 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 5: she doesn't work, but she could become very wealthy if 403 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,880 Speaker 5: she gets even half of his assets in a divorce. 404 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 5: He has a four oh one K and pension that 405 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 5: are worth several millions and a fully paid off house, 406 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 5: in addition to several brokerage accounts. 407 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:15,480 Speaker 4: There is also a. 408 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 5: Likelihood, if she gets a good lawyer, that there will 409 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,879 Speaker 5: be clawbacks for the thousands in hotel rooms and restaurants 410 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 5: that he used for his infidelity over the years. I wonder, 411 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 5: as he claimed he was traveling for work but instead 412 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,639 Speaker 5: going on date nights and sleeping over, could have Judge 413 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,159 Speaker 5: subpedia his outlook calendar from work to verify if he 414 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 5: was traveling or not. 415 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,400 Speaker 4: Good question. There's a chance that she does not divorce him. 416 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 5: They are Catholic and from a culture that excuses men 417 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 5: for cheating, especially as he has been providing her a 418 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,439 Speaker 5: good lifestyle and an outwardly social picture of perfect life. 419 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 5: But I feel like she needs to make the decision herself, 420 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,240 Speaker 5: after knowing everything. 421 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 4: Their youngest is now eighteen. 422 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,360 Speaker 5: And will go to college in the fall, so there 423 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 5: will be no child sport to pay, and everyone is 424 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 5: an adult and can decide their own relationship with him. 425 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,040 Speaker 5: I thought many times about how I would tell her 426 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 5: I don't have her and can't find her on social media, 427 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 5: but I do know where they live. I know he 428 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,120 Speaker 5: is traveling for work in Europe today and won't be home, 429 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,159 Speaker 5: so I'm thinking of just ringing her doorbell in the 430 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 5: afternoon and talking to her face to face. I'll take 431 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,360 Speaker 5: anything that comes at me. I'm prepared to be arrested 432 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 5: for trespassing even if it comes to that. I'm prepared 433 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 5: for retaliation at work if it came to that, But 434 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 5: it would screw him over even more if he did that. 435 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,440 Speaker 5: The last three years was not the person I wanted 436 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 5: to be, and I am so ashamed of myself. Any 437 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 5: relationship that I have in the future, I will disclose 438 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 5: everything that happened, and if it means I'm alone for 439 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 5: the rest of my life, so be it. 440 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 4: There is an edits. 441 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 5: I have texts, videos, pictures, and recorded him admitting to 442 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 5: the one night stand and shoote. I live in a 443 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 5: one party consent state. If a judge wants me to 444 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:45,200 Speaker 5: make a statement, get subpoenaed, or be in a disposition, 445 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 5: I would be happy to. There are some comments, but 446 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 5: I want to hear your comments. Do you think that 447 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 5: talking face to face with this woman is a good idea. Nope, Yeah, 448 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,679 Speaker 5: I'm a little worried for her. I do appreciate that 449 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,359 Speaker 5: she's trying to make things right and trying to do 450 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,359 Speaker 5: the right thing because because of her guilt. I do 451 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 5: appreciate that she's trying that. 452 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's just like I think this is more 453 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 3: about you than that at that actual situation. 454 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 2: It's kind of more about like you like making up 455 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 2: for it. 456 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 4: Yeah. 457 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 3: I really de vibe to me is that she's probably 458 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 3: known what's going on. She's Catholic, she's not gonna divorce, 459 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 3: she's got the money, she's got. You know, she're gonna 460 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 3: walk in there and she's gonna be like this, just 461 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,680 Speaker 3: leave me alone, and then you're gonna be upset and 462 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,400 Speaker 3: just write her a letter, yeah, something where you could 463 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 3: just give it to her and then remove yourself. You 464 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,480 Speaker 3: don't need to be involved in what she does after that. 465 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 3: It's out of your hands. You've done enough. 466 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know if she knows, though, I think, 467 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 5: like it said that the the in the Catholic community 468 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 5: in her area, like that's the vibe. But but I 469 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 5: don't like, like it's funny. 470 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 4: For you to be forgiven people but since they got engaged, though, you. 471 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,920 Speaker 5: Don't think talking about it, I don't think she would 472 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,159 Speaker 5: like fine, or you don't think she would like I mean, 473 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 5: I don't know. It is surprising that he kept it 474 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 5: quiet for like twenty five years. 475 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,440 Speaker 3: It seems to be so wide open that it's like, yeah, 476 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 3: it's almost like he's like flaunting it where it's like 477 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 3: I can get away with anything, like she won't even 478 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 3: leave me check it out. 479 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 2: Oh man. Yeah, we're just so brazen, especially because it's 480 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,440 Speaker 2: like the way that. 481 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,879 Speaker 3: He's treating her now, oh p yeah, by being like, 482 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 3: oh yeah, you think I was in love with you? 483 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 2: I mean I'm not. 484 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:32,760 Speaker 3: That's crazy. Oh I forgot. That's not how you would 485 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 3: treat someone. You'd be like, he knows that she could 486 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,679 Speaker 3: just go talk to his wife whenever. So if he 487 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 3: was actually afraid, I feel like he would have handled 488 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 3: that situation with more delicacy. 489 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 2: But I could be wrong. 490 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. 491 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 3: It's just regardless though, it's like, you just tell her 492 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 3: the info that you have, you don't necessarily have to 493 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 3: do it face to face. 494 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, I like. 495 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 5: Your letter idea, even if that says handle the letter 496 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 5: and walk away and she greet it later. There are 497 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 5: some comments. Comment Number one says, I would tell her. 498 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 5: Chances are she knows he's cheating, but probably doesn't know 499 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 5: the extent he is putting her. 500 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,400 Speaker 4: At risks of STIs too. 501 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 5: I would go to her home and tell her in person, 502 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,680 Speaker 5: and then just remove yourself from it. If she stays, 503 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,919 Speaker 5: she stays. If she leaves, she leaves. Opie says, I 504 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 5: really don't think that she knows. They call each other amore, 505 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,159 Speaker 5: and I see her sending him funny jokes through text. 506 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 5: At least, by some miracle, she did not have an 507 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,679 Speaker 5: STI when he and I were together. I insisted that 508 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 5: he can get a test, and he showed me a 509 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 5: clean bill of health. Amazing how he's never had an STI. 510 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 5: Coming Number two says, tell her and tell her about 511 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 5: the secret accounts too. She needs all the information, Opie says, oh, 512 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,880 Speaker 5: one hundred percent, especially his debit card to his dad's 513 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 5: bank account. His dad is older and has dementia, so 514 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 5: he's not monitoring the bank account. He would use his 515 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 5: own credit card and bank account to pay for things 516 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 5: his dad needs in his nursing home, and then use 517 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,440 Speaker 5: his dad's card for his affairs. At the end of 518 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 5: the day, he's not taking anything more from his dad's money, 519 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,359 Speaker 5: but by using his dad's bank account to pay for 520 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 5: his affairs, he's not using marital assets, so that may 521 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,640 Speaker 5: not be clawed back. A judge may see differently, though 522 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:10,640 Speaker 5: he may also get reamed for spending his dad's money 523 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,080 Speaker 5: on his personal things. Of course, he can just say 524 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,360 Speaker 5: that he's paying himself back for taking care of his dad. 525 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: John Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story, 526 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors. 527 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,000 Speaker 6: My in laws are demanding gifts even though we've been 528 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 6: no contact for years. 529 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,359 Speaker 4: That doesn't deserve any sort of present. 530 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 6: I called my father this morning to see how they 531 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 6: were all doing. Before he said good morning, he asked, 532 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,680 Speaker 6: what the f is a dorm shower? And why are 533 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 6: my in laws asking for money and gifts? By the way, 534 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 6: this comes from key conclusion five five eleven, And if 535 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 6: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 536 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 6: r slash Okay story. 537 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:44,720 Speaker 4: T'm separate it. 538 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,679 Speaker 6: So background, my husband, children adult teens now, and I 539 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,639 Speaker 6: went no contact with my husband's entire immediate family and 540 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 6: most extended relatives since twenty sixteen. That's nine plus years 541 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 6: of not talking to, contacting, or having any type of 542 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 6: relationship or interactions. We gave them over twenty years of 543 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:09,640 Speaker 6: chances and boundaries and consequences. That's to say it wasn't 544 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 6: a rash decision that was made selfishly or thoughtlessly through 545 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 6: the years. They send us in the actual USPS mail 546 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 6: because they're blocked everywhere else requests for gifts. 547 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 4: They have their Amazon wish list. They're like, hey, literally, 548 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 4: I know we're not talking that. Look I've been eyeing 549 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:32,160 Speaker 4: this one thing on Amazon right type HTTPS. You see. 550 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 4: They like to create registries, Oh my gosh, what I said, 551 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 4: Like you. 552 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,120 Speaker 6: Would for a bridle or baby shower, and fill them 553 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 6: with obscenely priced items for simple things like birthdays, Christmas, 554 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,200 Speaker 6: graduation anniversaries, and every little eye. 555 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 4: Farted and therefore I deserve an expensive gift. 556 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,680 Speaker 6: Event On to last week into today, I called my 557 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 6: husband's on to catch up. She's the only one we're 558 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 6: still in contact with, and she gave me a heads 559 00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,640 Speaker 6: up that my in laws were trying to get her 560 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 6: to pay. 561 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,080 Speaker 4: They use the term donate. 562 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 6: Over one hundred thousand dollars, not a typo for the 563 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 6: Golden granddaughter's dorm fees because we're family and we need 564 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 6: to stick together and do our part. 565 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 4: Why aren't you doing your part to pay for her? Yeah? 566 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,679 Speaker 4: Why aren't you doing your part? Doesn't make sense. 567 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:23,680 Speaker 5: Right, Like you're I feel like part of your part 568 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 5: would be to like talk to your family. Yeah, Like 569 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,040 Speaker 5: imagine getting getting this from people that are like bloodlines, 570 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 5: wait down the line, Like, yeah, they're like your family 571 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,399 Speaker 5: from I know, your third cousin twice removed, but your family, 572 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 5: and you gotta give me one hundred thousand. 573 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,879 Speaker 6: Dollars exactly, Like, no, not, how I actually will not 574 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,359 Speaker 6: be doing that. When the lady, who is living a 575 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:48,920 Speaker 6: modest life and on Social Security, said absolutely not, they 576 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,360 Speaker 6: then send her an invitation via text to the dorm shower, 577 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 6: and husband's aunt said it was beyond ridiculous not to 578 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:59,120 Speaker 6: mention the request for straight up cash when she graduated. 579 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,120 Speaker 6: In the meanwhile, while I'm getting texts and calls from 580 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 6: old acquaintances and childhood friends. We all grew up in 581 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 6: the same town and in law still live there, but 582 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 6: we've moved about four hours away, saying that my in 583 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 6: laws are pestering them and trying to get a hold 584 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 6: of our information because we changed our cell numbers and 585 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 6: blocked them everywhere we digitally could. Last week, in the mail, 586 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 6: I received an actual printed invite along with registry information 587 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 6: not one place, but three separate stores, and because we 588 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 6: were curious, we my whole family found it comical, took 589 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 6: a peak. 590 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 4: The cheapest thing on there was a. 591 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 6: Pack of washcloths in the sixty dollars range, followed by 592 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,439 Speaker 6: a power strip at one hundred and twenty dollars, and 593 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 6: the prices went up from there, including items in the 594 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:48,400 Speaker 6: two thousand dollars range. They even had commercial type appliances, 595 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,440 Speaker 6: which you can't even take or use in a dorm room. Yeah, 596 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 6: because they're like, she really needs this new oven, not us, 597 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 6: she needs it for herroom. 598 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, but like mail it to us and then we'll 599 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 5: move it to the dorm room. It'll just be easier 600 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 5: that way, Yeah, exactly. So why are they even on there? 601 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 5: Then the phone calls started rolling in, which were sent 602 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,920 Speaker 5: to voicemail from phone numbers we aren't familiar with. Mother 603 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,160 Speaker 5: in law ended up leaving a message husband's name. 604 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 7: This is your mom, niece's name is going away for 605 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 7: college and we need you to contribute one hundred thousand 606 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 7: dollars for her dorm. We also sent you, apparently the 607 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,919 Speaker 7: rest of us no longer exist, an invitation to our 608 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 7: dorm shower, and a picture from our graduation, which had 609 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,479 Speaker 7: requests for straight up money without even hosting a party. 610 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,680 Speaker 7: Don't disappoint us because you owe it to your niece 611 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 7: and sister. 612 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 6: First of all, no to the effity note. Second, niece's 613 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 6: parents make more than half a million a year. They 614 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,120 Speaker 6: both work for the state, love to brag, and their 615 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,680 Speaker 6: salaries are posted found that out from aunt. So shouldn't 616 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 6: they easily be able to afford their child's dorm necessities. 617 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 4: Third, my husband and I have her own. 618 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,800 Speaker 6: Two children in university, one going into sophomore year and 619 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,520 Speaker 6: one going into junior year, and we never made any 620 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 6: grand announcements, much less requests for money. They also choose 621 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 6: to stay local in order to save money. I mean, 622 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,080 Speaker 6: it's not the problem is not that, you know, I 623 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:15,160 Speaker 6: feel like grad parties are. 624 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 4: Very common people. Yeah, usually you don't. 625 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 6: Request money, but uh right, but you can be like, hey, 626 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,919 Speaker 6: like if I don't need these gifts, I'm saving up 627 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,879 Speaker 6: for something, like you could rephrase. 628 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 2: It that way. 629 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,240 Speaker 6: It's weird to reach out to your family who you're 630 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 6: no contact with. Yeah, and ask for one hundred thousand dollars. 631 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,679 Speaker 6: That's that's an intense amount of money that you can't 632 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 6: just ask for. Fourth, what the effort you're trying to 633 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,120 Speaker 6: get money and gifts out of my parents and other 634 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:45,199 Speaker 6: elderly relatives. Aren't their laws against swindling senior citizens. My 635 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 6: husband dropped everything into the shreudter and I erased the 636 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,639 Speaker 6: voicemail with full intent of remaining and maintaining no contact. 637 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 6: In the last two hours, I've gotten six calls from 638 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 6: numbers I don't know, but area codes that are from 639 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:03,360 Speaker 6: the area, with nobody leaving any messages. WTF, Just when 640 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 6: you think you're out, they try to pull you back 641 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 6: into their e fery, so f and tired and the 642 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 6: nerve to do that. They didn't even bother asking about 643 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 6: their biological grandchildren that they claim to love with all 644 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 6: their hearts. Yeah, where's their hudred K. Yeah, there is 645 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 6: an edit and an update, folks, But do you have 646 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 6: any thoughts? 647 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 4: Yeah? 648 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 6: It just that's just so ridiculous, so ridiculous that you 649 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,159 Speaker 6: can't even respond to it. 650 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:29,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, exactly. 651 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 5: I'm glad they just put it in the shutter and 652 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 5: just need Yeah, it's like what you even say trying 653 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 5: to interact, Yeah. 654 00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 4: Because that's really like, like, you know, it's not going 655 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:41,680 Speaker 4: towards any of that stuff, No, not at all. You know, 656 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 4: it's not. 657 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 5: They're they're getting kicked out of their house or something, 658 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:50,400 Speaker 5: or they've gotten into substances or gambling or something like 659 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 5: that and they're down on cash. 660 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 4: So some reason they need the money. 661 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 6: Yeah, it's not going like I feel like they're going 662 00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 6: to give your or their granddaughter like thirty bus You're 663 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 6: like happy. 664 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 5: Graduation, right right, It's like that's a a lot. 665 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 4: You're very far away from that one hund thousand. 666 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:13,120 Speaker 6: Yeah, but there isn't edits. I'm so sorry that I 667 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 6: didn't explain it correctly. To be clear, it's two separate things. 668 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 6: Request one one hundred thousand dollars for dorm fees and boardings, 669 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 6: so essentially rent and food. 670 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,640 Speaker 4: Request to dorm shower. 671 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 6: Registering for gifts at specific stores that people are expected 672 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,560 Speaker 6: to buy for you off a list produced and chosen. 673 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,120 Speaker 4: By the graduate. 674 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 2: Edit too. 675 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 4: How did mother in law get the number? 676 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 2: We don't know. 677 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 6: We did have a friend say that they gave out 678 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 6: our address, which they had anyway, Why why'd the friend 679 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,200 Speaker 6: do that? Yeah, we have friends in my family that 680 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,400 Speaker 6: still live there. Our hometown that we both me and 681 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 6: my husband grew up in. Many people go to the 682 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 6: same church weekly, and many of the in laws attend. 683 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,560 Speaker 6: That's the most probable place. We still give our new 684 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,760 Speaker 6: numbers to our friends and family. Mother in law managed 685 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 6: to get our new number, and nobody has confessed to giving. 686 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 4: It to her. 687 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 6: I'm also getting a lot of calls from random numbers 688 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 6: I don't know, and they're not leaving voicemails that coincide 689 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 6: with mother in law calling. Mother in law as of 690 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 6: right now, has left a single message. Reverse directory on 691 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 6: the other numbers doesn't give me information somehow, at the 692 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 6: very least, mother in law has. 693 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:18,479 Speaker 4: Gotten our number. 694 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,880 Speaker 6: We don't know if the other calls are related to 695 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 6: mother in law because they don't leave voicemails, but considering 696 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 6: the uptick in calls and the message from mother in law, 697 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 6: we think it's related to each other. No further voicemails 698 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,000 Speaker 6: at this time and relevant comments. What is Opie's husband's 699 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,080 Speaker 6: take on the situation. Opie says, as of now, he 700 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 6: wants to maintain no contact, which is the smartest move 701 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 6: for sure, Opie says. Prior to the no contact, he 702 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 6: was a diplomatic fensitter and it infuriated me because his 703 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,480 Speaker 6: silence was the equivalent of acceptance. I credit our children 704 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,920 Speaker 6: for somewhat dragging him out of the fog. But it's 705 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,280 Speaker 6: been a two steps forward, one step back deal, and 706 00:30:56,320 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 6: there are cultural expectations and dysfunction that come into play. 707 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,440 Speaker 6: Brainwashing would be the best way to describe it, and 708 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 6: doing what they wanted was his easiest choice. These people 709 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 6: are not normal or controllable, and they are very large family. 710 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 6: Mother in law has six siblings. Father in law has five. 711 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 6: Each sibling has a minimum of three children and one 712 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 6: had ten, oh with two passing away in their middle age. 713 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,120 Speaker 6: Those children have gotten married and have children. When you 714 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,720 Speaker 6: oppose one, you become their enemy. So picture a NonStop 715 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 6: barrage of Bible thumping and telling you that you're all 716 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,480 Speaker 6: going a heck and curse. In our family and children, 717 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,280 Speaker 6: conversations don't work. We gave them over twenty years of chances. 718 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,320 Speaker 6: I refuse to fight and I refuse to submit. Therefore 719 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 6: we ignore. Commenter one says, and how is letting you 720 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 6: be subjected to pesterments somehow, not him imploding your marriage, 721 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,600 Speaker 6: because you sound like you're at your wits end with 722 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,240 Speaker 6: these people and he refuses to take steps. Well, okay, 723 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 6: now it sounds like he has taken steps. He went 724 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 6: no contact with thems. Not really his fault that they're 725 00:31:58,240 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 6: finding ways. 726 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,560 Speaker 5: To Yeah, I mean they didn't give their address or 727 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 5: their number. 728 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,480 Speaker 6: Like, yeah, a season desist letter might work, no need 729 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 6: to even go to court. But your husband prefers to 730 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,040 Speaker 6: bury his head in the sand and let you be pestered. 731 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,840 Speaker 6: Opie says, you're not wrong, but there's more to the story. 732 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 6: That doesn't make anything easy. But I'm not naive, and 733 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,760 Speaker 6: there's a plan in place if things go south. He's trying, 734 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 6: and I'm giving him grace to change and learn. But 735 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,240 Speaker 6: I'm not stupid, and my patience isn't infinite. But I 736 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 6: do think, like it's not just like he's trying, like 737 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 6: he did do something. They are no contact. That's not nothing. Yeah, 738 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 6: he went no contact with his entire family. 739 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's been like twenty years. Yeah, of no contact. 740 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 4: That's like pretty significant. 741 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that doesn't mean op has, you know, doesn't 742 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 6: have a right to be upset about the current stuff 743 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 6: that's going on. But like I think to say, like, oh, 744 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,720 Speaker 6: you're to be married to a guy that like lets 745 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,040 Speaker 6: his family walk off, like he won no contact. 746 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like it's he's not letting them, No, he's not. Op. 747 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,200 Speaker 6: He provides some context and an example of her in 748 00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 6: law's entitlement. My in laws didn't approve of our marriage. 749 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 6: They didn't want us to succeed. They thought that without 750 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 6: them and their help and influence, we would be nothing. 751 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 6: They're probably asking OP and her husband at their wedding 752 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 6: for one hundred k. 753 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 4: They're like, for your wedding, we would like one hundred k. 754 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 5: Right now that you're a part of the family, officially 755 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 5: you have to contribute. 756 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 6: Yeah, there's the wedding registry and then there's the in 757 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 6: law registry. 758 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:19,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 759 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah. 760 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,880 Speaker 6: We proved them wrong. If we had anything or were 761 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 6: successful in any capacity, they couldn't stand it. Example, we 762 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 6: bought our first condo. They felt entitled and wanted keys 763 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,560 Speaker 6: so they could come and go as they pleased. 764 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 4: I said no. 765 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 6: They waited till we were at work, oh my goodness, 766 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 6: and tried getting in using a locksmith. 767 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 4: So they tried to break in what are they not 768 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:42,240 Speaker 4: in jail? 769 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,680 Speaker 6: Honestly, they claimed to be the owners and said, look, 770 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,760 Speaker 6: their name is on the butter and they hadn't have 771 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,880 Speaker 6: time to change their driver's license. The locksmith went to 772 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 6: the manager's office because they often had spare keys, and 773 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 6: because I had been in and out of the manager's 774 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 6: office getting approvals for our renovations. They knew right away 775 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,680 Speaker 6: that they weren't the owner and called the police. We 776 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 6: showed up and we're talking to the manager. We pulled 777 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,840 Speaker 6: up to see my in laws standing next to the 778 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 6: cop car along with another officer. They explain what happened. 779 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 6: We reaffirmed that they had no right to enter. They 780 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 6: asked us if he wanted to press charge. His husband 781 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,920 Speaker 6: said no, I okay, I would. 782 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,520 Speaker 4: You should have press charged. They tried to break into 783 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:21,959 Speaker 4: your house. 784 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,120 Speaker 6: Yeah, but I begged the officer to scare the crap 785 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,360 Speaker 6: out of them, and he kindly did. This is not 786 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,640 Speaker 6: even the worst of it. So their logic is to 787 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,840 Speaker 6: constantly take everything they can take, so we get overrun 788 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,880 Speaker 6: with debt while they keep progressing and achieving, thus proving 789 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,759 Speaker 6: to everyone that we were losers and. 790 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,760 Speaker 4: They predicted it. Why did they try? 791 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 6: Because they can and they think eventually they're going to 792 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 6: be successful. 793 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,640 Speaker 4: And there is an update eight days later. 794 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,279 Speaker 6: Wow, I do say, I do think that if they're 795 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,720 Speaker 6: trying to break in, like that's the level of stuff. 796 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, she'd get a restraining order or something like. 797 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:59,800 Speaker 5: File chargers something. Yeah, because yeah, and then I'm sure, 798 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,880 Speaker 5: like I mean they deleted in like shredded things. But 799 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,400 Speaker 5: like if they keep getting letters and voicemails and stuff 800 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 5: like that, like that's stuff. So it's like you could 801 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 5: you have always proof? 802 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, you could. 803 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 5: Add all that up, like and maybe that will make 804 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,959 Speaker 5: them stop. Like bring if you are just ignoring them, 805 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:18,400 Speaker 5: isn't going to make them stop? 806 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,160 Speaker 4: Maybe the law can. 807 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,760 Speaker 6: Maybe the law has something to say about it. Update 808 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:27,600 Speaker 6: eight days later. We are maintaining no contact, no gifts 809 00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 6: or donations of one hundred thousand dollars because what they 810 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,719 Speaker 6: ultimately want is a reaction or contact. We refuse to fight, 811 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 6: and we refuse to submit. Therefore we ignore. Our silence 812 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:43,080 Speaker 6: is clear message that they don't hold any value in 813 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:47,360 Speaker 6: our lives, and that drives them absolutely crazy. Google Voice 814 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 6: has been set up and everything else is being blocked 815 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,319 Speaker 6: on the landline. If they don't leave a message or 816 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,520 Speaker 6: aren't part of our contacts. Mother in law at this 817 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,880 Speaker 6: point has left a single message, but we received at 818 00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 6: least fifty calls last time I counted from numbers that 819 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,280 Speaker 6: we don't know, but we suspect our mother in law's 820 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,520 Speaker 6: flying monkeys. I still don't understand why they're asking for 821 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,840 Speaker 6: one hundred thousand dollars for dorm rent and food, because 822 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,319 Speaker 6: anyway I look at it, the math ain't mathen That's 823 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:11,000 Speaker 6: what I'm saying. 824 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 4: I spoke to my cousin, a lawyer not in my area, 825 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,200 Speaker 4: and gave her all the information and asked her if 826 00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,279 Speaker 4: anything could be done. She reached out to. 827 00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 6: A retired colleague who used to practice and now teaches, 828 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 6: and they basically said to continue to ignore because legally 829 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 6: not much can be done. 830 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:30,040 Speaker 4: Annoying, but it is what it is. Now on to 831 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:30,720 Speaker 4: the gossip. 832 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 6: My dad and uncles are part of the church board 833 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:35,880 Speaker 6: and have been for decades. They, the board, secretary, and 834 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,200 Speaker 6: clergy get together every Monday and review the week ahead, 835 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,799 Speaker 6: deal with issues, and approve or reject anything that needs 836 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,680 Speaker 6: to be dealt with. Pretty standard stuff. The in laws 837 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,480 Speaker 6: attend the church but aren't really active in terms of committees. 838 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:52,640 Speaker 6: Fundraising and activities planning. Mother in law has volunteered once 839 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,200 Speaker 6: at a bake sale in the forty plus years of 840 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 6: living in the community and attending this church. The church 841 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,440 Speaker 6: has a huge banquet room that includes a stage, bar area, 842 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:07,680 Speaker 6: and fountain. It's used for church functions, plays, bazaars, dinner dances, parties, 843 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 6: and can be rented out. 844 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,520 Speaker 4: For a fee. 845 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 6: Everyone pays some sort of fee. The fee is a 846 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,360 Speaker 6: complete breakdown of everything. There are two prices, one for 847 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 6: stewards members that pay yearly membership to the church, and 848 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,440 Speaker 6: one for non stewards, non members or anyone else who 849 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,680 Speaker 6: would like to rent the space. If you're a member, 850 00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,080 Speaker 6: then you get the rentals that cost, so the church 851 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,359 Speaker 6: doesn't really make anything extra on the rental. If you're 852 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,399 Speaker 6: not a member, then there's an op charge for using 853 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 6: the space. Mother in law and sister in law want 854 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,320 Speaker 6: to rent the space because they're anticipating two hundred plus 855 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 6: people for the dorm shower. Why is it a dorm shower? 856 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,520 Speaker 6: Could it have just been a graduation party? I know, 857 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,600 Speaker 6: I've never heard of the dorm shower. It's a grad party, Yeah, 858 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:48,880 Speaker 6: that's what it is. Like. 859 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:51,279 Speaker 5: It sounds like they're all gonna huddle up into this 860 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,960 Speaker 5: tiny little dorm that's like probably half hers and then 861 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,319 Speaker 5: throw a little party. 862 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, no one's gonna fit in there. Exactly, exactly, no 863 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:00,399 Speaker 4: one's gonna fit. 864 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:03,000 Speaker 6: They filled in a request online that requires you to 865 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,720 Speaker 6: input your information, steward number, information about what the party 866 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,319 Speaker 6: is for, how many people, what vendors, if there will 867 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,799 Speaker 6: be liquor, and special requests. The board reviews it and 868 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,520 Speaker 6: if they have questions, they make follow up calls. The 869 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,360 Speaker 6: secretary had mother in law on speakerphone so that everyone 870 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:22,080 Speaker 6: could listen and ask questions if needed. They aren't current stewards. 871 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,800 Speaker 6: Last time they were stewards was when their kids were little. 872 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 6: No judgment, just explaining they used their steward number from 873 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,360 Speaker 6: decades ago and played stupid when the secretary said that 874 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,640 Speaker 6: they need to be current stewards in order to get 875 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 6: the discount. They know this because they tried to bowl 876 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,840 Speaker 6: the same crap for sister in law's big bridal shower. 877 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,440 Speaker 6: You had a total of five as well as the 878 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:46,000 Speaker 6: christenings of her children. Sheared a total of five bridal showers. 879 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:51,000 Speaker 6: Whats how that's there's too many. The church has to 880 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,319 Speaker 6: pull a variety of permits depending on what type of 881 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:57,400 Speaker 6: party you're having, insurance plus security, liquor permits, custodians, and 882 00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,759 Speaker 6: a few other things. I'm sure I'm forgetting. There's a 883 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 6: pre approved list of vendors that you need to choose 884 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,680 Speaker 6: from if you want to serve food or liquor, and 885 00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,200 Speaker 6: they set their own prices separately from the church if 886 00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:09,520 Speaker 6: you want to runt the space. Those are the rules 887 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 6: and have been for over thirty years. If you follow 888 00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:16,040 Speaker 6: the rules, then it's pretty seamless, and I've used them 889 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,919 Speaker 6: plenty of times throughout the years without any issues. Mother 890 00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,399 Speaker 6: in law then try to negotiate the price because they 891 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:26,840 Speaker 6: have volunteered so much throughout the years. Once you volunteered once, 892 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,200 Speaker 6: then she tries to say that they're going to bring 893 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,359 Speaker 6: in their own food and liquor, which we know they 894 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,399 Speaker 6: can't because there's a license for it. 895 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:39,280 Speaker 4: These people man piece of work. Wowee man, oh wow. 896 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 4: I mean I don't know how you even put up 897 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:43,680 Speaker 4: with them at all. 898 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, it does suck. They still like live relatively nearby, yeah, 899 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:49,360 Speaker 5: like four hours. 900 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,040 Speaker 6: But also it seems like you live nearby other family 901 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,919 Speaker 6: members and other friends, right, so there's still some kind 902 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:55,560 Speaker 6: of overlap. 903 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, and which is tricky that they're involved in the church. Still, 904 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,319 Speaker 5: it's like ever, everyone just needs they need to be 905 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:04,760 Speaker 5: far away from other people. 906 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,759 Speaker 4: I agree, because they're they're not acting how people should. 907 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:12,880 Speaker 6: Know they're acting, how people shouldn't. Yes, and there is 908 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,880 Speaker 6: a little bit left to this story, so I should 909 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,160 Speaker 6: finish it. Church said you have to use the preapproved 910 00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,919 Speaker 6: vendors or you can't serve food or beverages. Then mother 911 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,160 Speaker 6: in law pivots and wants to charge a fee to 912 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,600 Speaker 6: enter and have a cash bar so she can use 913 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:30,239 Speaker 6: the space and knowing her up charge to make a profit. Yes, 914 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,400 Speaker 6: use the church's space to up charge, that's. 915 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,440 Speaker 4: Crazy, so wild. The church explains that there would be 916 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:40,560 Speaker 4: additional paperwork and fees for that paperwork. Mother in law 917 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,839 Speaker 4: doesn't like that and says to just forget it. 918 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,360 Speaker 6: Under special request, she wants the choir to donate a performance, 919 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,600 Speaker 6: and at the end they wanted to do some sort 920 00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:50,719 Speaker 6: of parade. My dad said that they were all just 921 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:54,040 Speaker 6: sitting there shaking their heads at the ridiculousness of mother 922 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,480 Speaker 6: in law. The fact that the party is supposed to 923 00:40:56,560 --> 00:41:01,320 Speaker 6: happen supposedly the first week of August, with the address 924 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,360 Speaker 6: on the original invite being sister in law's house address. 925 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,439 Speaker 6: So two hundred plus people are going to go into 926 00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:11,600 Speaker 6: a residential neighborhood with limited parking for a dorm shower. 927 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,359 Speaker 6: I'm sure it'll be as classy as they are. 928 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,920 Speaker 5: My in laws tried to have their wedding on my 929 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,879 Speaker 5: property after I already rejected it. 930 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:21,560 Speaker 4: Not around a year partner. 931 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 2: My brother in law I. 932 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,480 Speaker 5: Was thirty let's call him Duke, and my sister in 933 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,200 Speaker 5: law at twenty five let's call her a Deana, have 934 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:29,760 Speaker 5: been together for two years. 935 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,680 Speaker 4: This summer they had their wedding. I am still reeling. 936 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,000 Speaker 4: Let's start from the beginning, Okay. 937 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,799 Speaker 5: Duke and Diana got engaged winter of twenty twenty three. 938 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,400 Speaker 5: In spring of twenty twenty four, they were evacuated from 939 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,840 Speaker 5: where they lived twelve hours north of us because of 940 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,440 Speaker 5: a forest fire. Oh of course we said that they 941 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,040 Speaker 5: could stay with us. This included them and their two 942 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 5: large dogs. We live on an acreage and have two 943 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,680 Speaker 5: large dogs ourselves, so. 944 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,400 Speaker 4: This isn't an issue, or so we thought. 945 00:41:58,600 --> 00:41:58,839 Speaker 2: No. 946 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:01,879 Speaker 5: By the way, that's from a mess patient eight two 947 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,440 Speaker 5: six four on the Charlotte Dover YouTube supreddit and if 948 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:05,880 Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 949 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:10,120 Speaker 5: hour slash Okay, Storytime, Sepreddit. So Duke, Indiana enjoy some 950 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,319 Speaker 5: recreational activities, which is legal where we live to. 951 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,000 Speaker 4: Each their own. 952 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,680 Speaker 5: However, we at the time had two young children and 953 00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,839 Speaker 5: now we have three. Legal or not, there are no 954 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,080 Speaker 5: substances allowed in our home. They were respectable of this 955 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,120 Speaker 5: rule and kept it outside, although our home reeked the 956 00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 5: entire time while they were here. They would not take 957 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,840 Speaker 5: care of their large, hyperdogs, and it became my responsibility. 958 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:33,040 Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no. 959 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,919 Speaker 5: My husband works full time and I am at home 960 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,520 Speaker 5: with the kids. Their dogs are not well behaved, and 961 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,880 Speaker 5: I did not feel comfortable taking care of large dogs 962 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,040 Speaker 5: constantly jumping at me and starting fights. 963 00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,319 Speaker 4: With our dogs. Our dogs are large, but lazy and 964 00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:46,920 Speaker 4: they don't jump truly. 965 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,919 Speaker 6: Like the second that I start seeing this behavior, yeah, 966 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,200 Speaker 6: I'm like, uh, sorry, you need to take care of 967 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:53,800 Speaker 6: your dogs. 968 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,279 Speaker 4: This is unacceptable behavior if you want to continue to 969 00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,440 Speaker 4: live here. Yeah, you address that immediately imediately. 970 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:01,960 Speaker 6: Like the second that you have to start taking care 971 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:06,840 Speaker 6: of their dogs and they're being aggressive with yours. 972 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,319 Speaker 5: I promise the dogs are relevant. They would leave late at. 973 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,000 Speaker 4: Night and drive high. I don't want to have to. 974 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,800 Speaker 5: Deal with that responsibility if anything happens to them. Anyways, 975 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 5: during that time that my brother in law, let's say Tim, 976 00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:20,319 Speaker 5: got married that year, while they were down here for 977 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,959 Speaker 5: the evacuation, he is brothers with my husband and Duke. 978 00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,560 Speaker 5: Duke and Diana were late to help with setup and 979 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:30,000 Speaker 5: over an hour late to the intimate rehearsal dinner because 980 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,080 Speaker 5: they were napping, which was not really they. 981 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:37,160 Speaker 4: Were okay, no, well, both of those excuses are dumb. 982 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:38,680 Speaker 4: Absolutely absolutely. 983 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,760 Speaker 6: I also would I think I would be really pissed 984 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,520 Speaker 6: if someone told me they were napping and that's why 985 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:44,200 Speaker 6: they missed something. 986 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:45,680 Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, the. 987 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:48,839 Speaker 4: Truth set alarm. Yeah, come on, come on. 988 00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,120 Speaker 5: Throughout the wedding, Diana was commenting about all the things 989 00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,719 Speaker 5: that she would never do at her wedding. It was 990 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,080 Speaker 5: a classy and well done wedding. It's clear from so 991 00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,160 Speaker 5: many small instances that they have no respect for others, 992 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,919 Speaker 5: their boundaries, property, or time. 993 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:06,000 Speaker 4: I mean, what did they know about class? Yeah, clearly nothing. 994 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,320 Speaker 5: Well, they stayed with us for three weeks waiting to 995 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:09,640 Speaker 5: be allowed back into their home. 996 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,480 Speaker 4: Nothing was damaged. They planned their wedding. 997 00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:14,960 Speaker 5: Sort of they asked if they could have their wedding 998 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,320 Speaker 5: on our property. No, this is where my husband and 999 00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,600 Speaker 5: I got married in the height of the VID before 1000 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:20,760 Speaker 5: my husband bought the house. 1001 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:21,920 Speaker 4: It was family land. 1002 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,160 Speaker 5: We said we would consider it because it could be 1003 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:25,680 Speaker 5: considered a special spot to duke. 1004 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:27,960 Speaker 4: After three weeks they went back up north. 1005 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,080 Speaker 5: My husband and I talked about it and decided that 1006 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:31,680 Speaker 5: we could not host a wedding for them. 1007 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,560 Speaker 4: That summer. I became pregnant with. 1008 00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:36,799 Speaker 5: Our third My husband works a lot of overtime in 1009 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,880 Speaker 5: the summer, and they were aiming to get married in 1010 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:40,279 Speaker 5: July twenty twenty five. 1011 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,320 Speaker 4: We didn't think we would be able to get the house. 1012 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,680 Speaker 5: Or property wedding ready as well, I didn't want to 1013 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,480 Speaker 5: have to host a wedding while caring for three young children, 1014 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,840 Speaker 5: as our baby would be a newborn at the time. 1015 00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,600 Speaker 4: And you know, you would have to do everything absolutely. 1016 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:53,879 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1017 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:55,520 Speaker 4: They wouldn't even take care of their own dogs. 1018 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:56,960 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. 1019 00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 5: And on top of that, much of Deanna's family partakes 1020 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,319 Speaker 5: in reck creational activities and we couldn't trust that these 1021 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:05,279 Speaker 5: people we didn't know would respect our rules of no 1022 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,799 Speaker 5: devils let us in the house. Now, the one thing 1023 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:13,120 Speaker 5: this family lacks is communication the one thing, and we 1024 00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,560 Speaker 5: must take responsibility for our lack of communication. They said 1025 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,440 Speaker 5: that they thought our place would make a good venue. 1026 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,360 Speaker 5: They did not say for sure that they wanted to 1027 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,000 Speaker 5: get married there, so we waited to hear about more 1028 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,279 Speaker 5: wedding plans. We didn't want to have to say no 1029 00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,680 Speaker 5: and be a holes if they choose a different venue. 1030 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,680 Speaker 4: I think that's fair. I don't even think that's a 1031 00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,239 Speaker 4: lack of communication on your end. 1032 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:32,880 Speaker 6: I think it's just them being like, oh, it'd be 1033 00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,560 Speaker 6: nice to have a wedding gear, and you're like, hmmm, yeah. 1034 00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,759 Speaker 4: They didn't say, hey, can we have the wedding here? 1035 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 2: Right right? 1036 00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, and like hopefully you guys didn't say like, oh, yeah, 1037 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:42,960 Speaker 5: that would be nice. 1038 00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:43,399 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1039 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,400 Speaker 4: As long as you didn't say that, right, you're fine. 1040 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,560 Speaker 5: We assumed after announcing our pregnancy that they wouldn't expect 1041 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,680 Speaker 5: us to host with a new baby. We told family 1042 00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,480 Speaker 5: about the baby in August twenty twenty four. They never 1043 00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:56,360 Speaker 5: followed up with us, and since we didn't agree to hosting, 1044 00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,360 Speaker 5: we assumed that they found a different wedding venue. Fast 1045 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:03,759 Speaker 5: forward February twenty twenty five. I am as pregnant as 1046 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,879 Speaker 5: it gets, and honestly, my mental health wasn't great. Duke 1047 00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:12,320 Speaker 5: and Deana sent out wedding invites location my address when July. 1048 00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:19,200 Speaker 5: Of course, No, that's crazy. What and now the invite's 1049 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:20,040 Speaker 5: already out. 1050 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,239 Speaker 4: That's insane. 1051 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:22,800 Speaker 2: I was livid. 1052 00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,399 Speaker 4: My husband, who was also upset, handled it very well. 1053 00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:27,800 Speaker 4: He told them that we were. 1054 00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:30,319 Speaker 5: Unable to accommodate them, and he was much kinder about 1055 00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,560 Speaker 5: it than I would have been. We expected a fight, 1056 00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,440 Speaker 5: but they agreed to change the venue. We appreciated that greatly. 1057 00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:38,439 Speaker 4: Okay, okay, okay, and it. 1058 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,040 Speaker 5: Was e invites, so it was not costly to change 1059 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:44,400 Speaker 5: or wesend free. In fact, now you may have already 1060 00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,479 Speaker 5: decided that I'm the a hole for making them change 1061 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:47,040 Speaker 5: their venue. 1062 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:48,359 Speaker 4: No, no, not at all. 1063 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:50,719 Speaker 5: No, But let me paint a picture for you of 1064 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,600 Speaker 5: their wedding and celebration. After we said our place was 1065 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,640 Speaker 5: a no go, they had to look for another venue, 1066 00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:58,000 Speaker 5: but it was difficult because they wanted a specific date, 1067 00:46:58,360 --> 00:46:59,640 Speaker 5: a Thursday. 1068 00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,720 Speaker 4: Weird. J We thought that was weird. But whatever. 1069 00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:06,480 Speaker 5: My husband asked to why that day was so important, 1070 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,160 Speaker 5: and we were told you. 1071 00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:13,160 Speaker 4: Aren't allowed to ask. Okay, what's a secret. It's a secret, 1072 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:14,040 Speaker 4: don't ask me. 1073 00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:18,320 Speaker 5: It'sant It's important because of Nuanya business. 1074 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,680 Speaker 4: Now it's the end of June and they are. 1075 00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,239 Speaker 5: Getting married at the beginning of July. As expected, this 1076 00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,200 Speaker 5: wedding is messy and unorganized. At this point, they have 1077 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,879 Speaker 5: had one and a half years to plan and prep 1078 00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,680 Speaker 5: for this wedding. All decores, Ye, why and so was 1079 00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,239 Speaker 5: mine for my wedding? My mom and I did it 1080 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,439 Speaker 5: all during our six month engagement. Duke Indiana have done 1081 00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:42,319 Speaker 5: none of it beforehand. Everything is brought down. They still 1082 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,960 Speaker 5: got married down here to be made and done, only 1083 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,080 Speaker 5: two weeks before the wedding. During this time, they are 1084 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:49,879 Speaker 5: staying with mother in law and father in law because 1085 00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,320 Speaker 5: I was not hosting and caring for their insane dogs. 1086 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:54,320 Speaker 4: With young children and a new baby. 1087 00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,279 Speaker 5: The family thinks I'm ridiculous for not catering to the 1088 00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,520 Speaker 5: knees of the precious family Fave and his doom to 1089 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:03,000 Speaker 5: be born. They try to passive aggressively encourage us to 1090 00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,080 Speaker 5: take the dogs to our house because there is more 1091 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:06,120 Speaker 5: space on our property. 1092 00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,080 Speaker 4: We did not cave. I started to wonder if I'm 1093 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:09,799 Speaker 4: being the a hole. 1094 00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,600 Speaker 5: It is their wedding, maybe I should be more lenient, 1095 00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,800 Speaker 5: but apparently Deiana doesn't like anything mother in law cooks. 1096 00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:17,880 Speaker 5: I don't always agree with my mother in law and 1097 00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,080 Speaker 5: we don't always get along, but she's a good woman 1098 00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,239 Speaker 5: and she would cook anything for anyone. And sister in 1099 00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,680 Speaker 5: law keep saying, oh no, I don't like that and 1100 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,640 Speaker 5: won't eat it with the family. She will only go 1101 00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,600 Speaker 5: get fast food after the meal. 1102 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,000 Speaker 4: That's so rude, dude. 1103 00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:35,600 Speaker 5: If someone is like letting you stay with them, even 1104 00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,719 Speaker 5: for anything, like especially a wedding, like yeah, and you're 1105 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,080 Speaker 5: not gonna eat their cooking. 1106 00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:41,360 Speaker 4: That's crazy. 1107 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:43,560 Speaker 6: If someone was staying with me and they were like 1108 00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:45,040 Speaker 6: and I was like, yeah, like I cooked it, and 1109 00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:46,680 Speaker 6: they're like yeah, and. 1110 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,799 Speaker 5: Then you do cook and afterwards they get fast food 1111 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:50,680 Speaker 5: because they don't like it. 1112 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:54,080 Speaker 4: I would be heartbroken, I tell much. 1113 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,000 Speaker 5: I like, like, I feel like, if you really really 1114 00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,840 Speaker 5: didn't like whatever someone's cooking for you offered cook yourself. 1115 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, like you for everyone? Yeah? 1116 00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:07,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, like come on, father in law cooks a steak 1117 00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,560 Speaker 5: and she requests a hot dog instead. 1118 00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:11,520 Speaker 4: What this is? 1119 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:11,920 Speaker 2: Like me? 1120 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,400 Speaker 4: This is like how I was as a child. 1121 00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,799 Speaker 6: Yeah, your parent gives you like pasta and you're like, yeah, 1122 00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,080 Speaker 6: I want chicken. 1123 00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:22,440 Speaker 5: Nig yeah exactly. They of course give her what she 1124 00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,759 Speaker 5: wants what, But suddenly mother law is very upset when 1125 00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,600 Speaker 5: they leave to stay at a hotel a few days 1126 00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,520 Speaker 5: before the wedding and she is left to care for 1127 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,520 Speaker 5: the dogs and the cats. Yes, they brought their cats 1128 00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,879 Speaker 5: because apparently there's no house sitter or animal caretaker where 1129 00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,800 Speaker 5: they live, and that's why we didn't want the animals 1130 00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:39,440 Speaker 5: at our house. 1131 00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:44,919 Speaker 6: Well, uh a dendum, no free house. Yeah, cat sitter exactly. 1132 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,000 Speaker 6: That's a very important note. 1133 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,600 Speaker 5: My daughter had her second birthday the first week of 1134 00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:51,239 Speaker 5: July and it was great to have them in town 1135 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,640 Speaker 5: so everyone could come for the party. Just a super 1136 00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:56,480 Speaker 5: chill ween or roast. Sister in law is upset that 1137 00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,160 Speaker 5: it's hot dogs and won't eat anything. 1138 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,319 Speaker 4: She doesn't want hot dogs. Come on, girl, make up 1139 00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:01,719 Speaker 4: your mind. 1140 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:05,200 Speaker 5: Mind It Unfortunately rains and we have to move the 1141 00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:08,000 Speaker 5: party inside. She sits outside and will not come in 1142 00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:09,840 Speaker 5: to do cake in presents with her knees. 1143 00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,319 Speaker 6: She's getting soaked eating a hot dog or not eating 1144 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:13,040 Speaker 6: a hot dog today. 1145 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:14,719 Speaker 4: I don't know what she's eating today. Why are you 1146 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,240 Speaker 4: staying outside? You're crazy? 1147 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,840 Speaker 5: I know my daughter won't remember, but it frustrates me 1148 00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,880 Speaker 5: when my family won't make an effort with my kids. 1149 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,600 Speaker 4: She's too just come and have cake with her. 1150 00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:29,080 Speaker 5: Supposedly she has social anxiety, which is fair, but except 1151 00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:32,120 Speaker 5: she sure didn't have any during her wedding celebration. 1152 00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,760 Speaker 4: Which I promise we will get to. It wasn't a big. 1153 00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,960 Speaker 5: Birthday party, just a little celebration with family and a 1154 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:37,880 Speaker 5: couple close friends. 1155 00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:39,120 Speaker 4: So it's the day before the wedding. 1156 00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,360 Speaker 5: I go with lots of other family to help decorate 1157 00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,839 Speaker 5: and set up the hall. But we aren't setting up. 1158 00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:50,279 Speaker 5: We are making the decorations they've had, they've had a 1159 00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:51,560 Speaker 5: year and a half. 1160 00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:55,759 Speaker 4: We're making signs, bouquets with fake flowers. You had all 1161 00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:56,400 Speaker 4: been done. 1162 00:50:56,239 --> 00:51:01,439 Speaker 5: Advance centerpieces, painting signs, and making and decorating an arch. 1163 00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:05,520 Speaker 5: Nothing was organized. We went out to grab more supplies. 1164 00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,480 Speaker 5: It was thirty degrees celsius in a building with no ac. 1165 00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,400 Speaker 4: Ooh, and it's hot. Yeah, that's not too hot, but 1166 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:13,839 Speaker 4: with no ac that is hot. That's a hot, you know, 1167 00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:16,880 Speaker 4: like that's like a yeah something ay. 1168 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,400 Speaker 5: Her dad had to stop helping to bathe his dogs. 1169 00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,800 Speaker 5: It was wild. I worked hard, and so did everyone else. 1170 00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,520 Speaker 5: They worked their butts off to pull this wedding together 1171 00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:28,279 Speaker 5: for Duke and Deanna, because despite my. 1172 00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:31,239 Speaker 4: Bad attitude, we do love them. So rehearsal. 1173 00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:34,600 Speaker 5: The chaplain isn't there to run the rehearsal, so we 1174 00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,360 Speaker 5: are missing a groomsman, and the littlest flower girl eighteen 1175 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,640 Speaker 5: months old, isn't there to practice. 1176 00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,200 Speaker 4: Deanna is looking lost, so I offered a help. 1177 00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:43,799 Speaker 5: I'm no expert, but I've been to a lot of 1178 00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:46,359 Speaker 5: weddings recently and explain how things are usually done, and 1179 00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,279 Speaker 5: I ask if she wants me to step in or 1180 00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:49,920 Speaker 5: if she wants me to just sit and be quiet. 1181 00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:53,000 Speaker 5: She did ask for my help, so I directed the processional. 1182 00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,600 Speaker 4: It's messy, but we practice and it's okay. 1183 00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,439 Speaker 5: She's very specific about the timing of her entrance, which 1184 00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:01,520 Speaker 5: I get the little parts. I told her we might 1185 00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,520 Speaker 5: have to loop the song as it's quite a long 1186 00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,320 Speaker 5: walk down a hill to where they are saying their vows. 1187 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:10,400 Speaker 4: Don't worry, it's relevant. So finally, the day of the wedding, 1188 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:11,600 Speaker 4: Are we ready? 1189 00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:13,440 Speaker 2: Every were ready? We ready? 1190 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:14,919 Speaker 4: We get to the hall. 1191 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:18,960 Speaker 5: Deanna is there not ready, freaking out about the dcorseto 1192 00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:21,680 Speaker 5: the groom and grooms men are almost laid because they 1193 00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:23,920 Speaker 5: realized that morning that he didn't have a tie. 1194 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:28,240 Speaker 4: They also had to stop and grab sorry what Yeah, yeah, 1195 00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,720 Speaker 4: he didn't have a tie. He didn't have one tie. 1196 00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:32,360 Speaker 4: That's crazy, dude. 1197 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,200 Speaker 5: They also had to stop and grab booze for the 1198 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,480 Speaker 5: wedding the morning of, because why would we be prepared. 1199 00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:41,160 Speaker 5: When Duke gets there, Deanna starts fighting with him about 1200 00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:43,160 Speaker 5: stuff that he was supposed to do but didn't. 1201 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:44,320 Speaker 4: It's a mess. 1202 00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,600 Speaker 5: Finally, whatever the heck is going on is resolved, and 1203 00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:51,640 Speaker 5: she keeps getting ready. The wedding ceremony starts thirty minutes late. 1204 00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:54,759 Speaker 5: In the grand scheme of things not bad, probably the 1205 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:56,759 Speaker 5: best part of the day, so things are off to 1206 00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,320 Speaker 5: a rocky start. No one thought to bring the speakers 1207 00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,480 Speaker 5: out for the music. We finally get it set up 1208 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,320 Speaker 5: and we can start. I'm at the top of the 1209 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,799 Speaker 5: hill with the flower girls and ring bearer. Two of 1210 00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,640 Speaker 5: the four kiddos are mine. My son is almost four 1211 00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:10,840 Speaker 5: and he's the oldest. I asked him to hold the 1212 00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,400 Speaker 5: littlest girl's hand to help her down the hill, and 1213 00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:16,720 Speaker 5: most eighteen month old kids haven't been walking for long 1214 00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:20,560 Speaker 5: and they certainly haven't mastered hills. Music is playing. The 1215 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,320 Speaker 5: bridal party is making their entrance, but not fast enough. 1216 00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:26,240 Speaker 5: Deanna starts freaking out. Why aren't they going fast enough? 1217 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:27,240 Speaker 5: I said, it's. 1218 00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,279 Speaker 4: Okay, we can loop the song. 1219 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,359 Speaker 5: The Grandma's took a little longer going down the hill 1220 00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:32,839 Speaker 5: than expected. They were walked down the hill with help, 1221 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:34,200 Speaker 5: but old ladies take a while. 1222 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,719 Speaker 4: She snaps at me. No one gets how important it 1223 00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:40,040 Speaker 4: is until it's their moment. Okay, Well, it wasn't that 1224 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:43,120 Speaker 4: important to you, clearly because we plan anything. 1225 00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, like, why are you starting at the top of 1226 00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:48,960 Speaker 5: a hill for your walk down the aisle? You're supposed 1227 00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,839 Speaker 5: to start, like where the people are sitting? Yeah, my guy, 1228 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,279 Speaker 5: I doubt you have enough people at this party to 1229 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:55,719 Speaker 5: be up stations. 1230 00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:58,080 Speaker 4: Of the cross. Let's make it a little easier. Come on. 1231 00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:00,879 Speaker 4: I didn't say anything. I don't want to be rude. 1232 00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:03,359 Speaker 5: It's her wedding and it can be stressful, but I, 1233 00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:06,040 Speaker 5: of all people, get it. I replanned my wedding four 1234 00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:08,359 Speaker 5: times during the VID to follow all the rules. She 1235 00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:10,760 Speaker 5: throws her phone to me. It's connected to the speakers 1236 00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,520 Speaker 5: with the music, and she doesn't want to carry her 1237 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:13,240 Speaker 5: phone in the aisle. 1238 00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:13,719 Speaker 2: There. 1239 00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,239 Speaker 5: Now it's time for the children to go. My son 1240 00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:18,920 Speaker 5: is going slow because the little girl can barely walk 1241 00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:23,200 Speaker 5: and it's downhill. Deanna snaps at the kids to hurry up. 1242 00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:25,920 Speaker 5: They turn around and start coming back up because they 1243 00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:26,760 Speaker 5: think that they're. 1244 00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:27,560 Speaker 4: Doing something wrong. 1245 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:28,880 Speaker 2: Aw. 1246 00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:32,719 Speaker 5: She snaps again and grabs the littlest one and barrels 1247 00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:35,440 Speaker 5: down the aisle. My son is sensitive and starts to 1248 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,840 Speaker 5: cry because this ant that he barely knows is yelling 1249 00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:40,800 Speaker 5: at him, and there's lots of people around that he 1250 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,560 Speaker 5: doesn't know. I take my kids and go sit down. 1251 00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:47,440 Speaker 5: I can only imagine what pictures look like. And somehow 1252 00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:50,520 Speaker 5: it doesn't end here. They have super fast vows, and 1253 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:54,440 Speaker 5: here's the twist. The chaplain announces that they are already 1254 00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:57,760 Speaker 5: married and it's their one year anniversary. 1255 00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:04,319 Speaker 4: Hike one of those things jokes on you. You've just 1256 00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:05,600 Speaker 4: been pranked. 1257 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:10,840 Speaker 5: No one says anything, no one collapsed, and they kiss. 1258 00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,200 Speaker 4: There's absolute silence. 1259 00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:18,279 Speaker 5: It's a fake wedding, she yelled at my kids for 1260 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,600 Speaker 5: a fake moment. 1261 00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:21,879 Speaker 4: It's fine to a lope, and. 1262 00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:23,719 Speaker 5: It's okay to celebrate at a different date if you 1263 00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,400 Speaker 5: can't afford it, But to lie to everyone for a 1264 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:30,200 Speaker 5: whole year. Now we know why the day was so special. Yeah, 1265 00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:33,279 Speaker 5: they weren't allowed to ask because it's their anniversary. 1266 00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,560 Speaker 4: Anniversary. Yeah, my gosh, that's crazy. 1267 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,960 Speaker 5: And a year before they posted a pick of both 1268 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,880 Speaker 5: of them at wearing rings and I asked, did you 1269 00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,440 Speaker 5: guys get married? And she said no, it's a men's 1270 00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:46,080 Speaker 5: engagement ring. My husband was in the wedding party, so 1271 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,279 Speaker 5: of course he was in the photos. They had to 1272 00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,239 Speaker 5: take multiple breaks during photos to light up and get 1273 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:52,480 Speaker 5: some fresh air. 1274 00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,760 Speaker 4: They were over an hour late for the reception. 1275 00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:56,880 Speaker 2: Wild. 1276 00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:59,919 Speaker 5: Everyone at the wedding is pleasant, but it for sure 1277 00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:02,680 Speaker 5: put a damper on the whole mood. Not gonna lie, 1278 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,239 Speaker 5: I checked out, I did not help with clean up. 1279 00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:07,799 Speaker 5: I wasn't gonna drag my kids back to the hall 1280 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,319 Speaker 5: for another day. And my husband wasn't taking another day 1281 00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:10,960 Speaker 5: off work for this. 1282 00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,960 Speaker 4: He was hurt his brother got married and didn't tell 1283 00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:15,160 Speaker 4: him or anyone about it. 1284 00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:17,160 Speaker 6: If I found out that Sam got married and I 1285 00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:19,239 Speaker 6: didn't know, I'd be devastated. 1286 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,359 Speaker 4: I would be so sad. But I have a very 1287 00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:24,200 Speaker 4: close relationship with my brother. Yeah, if I you know, 1288 00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:29,040 Speaker 4: maybe maybe Opie's husband doesn't have that closed. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, 1289 00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:32,839 Speaker 4: but uh, I say, yeah, Sam's not allowed to do. Yeah. 1290 00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,880 Speaker 4: My cousin told me to take our gift back. I 1291 00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:37,280 Speaker 4: thought about it, but we didn't. 1292 00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:40,640 Speaker 5: Many people traveled so far for this wedding, anywhere from 1293 00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:44,120 Speaker 5: five to twenty three hours of driving or flights for 1294 00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:46,240 Speaker 5: a fake wedding for a joke. 1295 00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,520 Speaker 4: Well, I will say, I don't think it was a joke. Yeah, 1296 00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:50,239 Speaker 4: I wouldn't call it. 1297 00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:52,520 Speaker 6: I think it was a ceremony to celebrate and they 1298 00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,239 Speaker 6: were trying to do a whole because I have I 1299 00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:55,520 Speaker 6: have seen the trend that you're talking about. 1300 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:56,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, and regardless of. 1301 00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,399 Speaker 6: What like I would do or not, right, I do 1302 00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:01,440 Speaker 6: think it's it's not fair to say it's fake. 1303 00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:04,840 Speaker 4: It is still a ceremony. Yeah, but I understand that 1304 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:05,759 Speaker 4: you're hurt. 1305 00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:06,600 Speaker 2: Right, right. 1306 00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,400 Speaker 5: There were so many small things that happened. My husband 1307 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:12,719 Speaker 5: did not hide how he was feeling. Deanna asked me, 1308 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,280 Speaker 5: is your husband mad at me? He seemed kind of grumpy. 1309 00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:19,080 Speaker 5: I just laughed and walked away. So am id a hole. 1310 00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:21,040 Speaker 5: I didn't let them have their wedding at my house. 1311 00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,520 Speaker 5: I didn't help with cleanup, and I don't want them 1312 00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,600 Speaker 5: to stay at my house again. I feel like they 1313 00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:28,400 Speaker 5: have no respect for time, property or boundaries of others, 1314 00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,880 Speaker 5: and I don't want her around yelling at my kids 1315 00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:33,000 Speaker 5: that she won't take the time to make an effort 1316 00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:35,880 Speaker 5: with am I overreacting. At the end of the day, 1317 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,520 Speaker 5: it doesn't really matter because it wasn't a real wedding. 1318 00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:40,880 Speaker 1: Hey, it's sam og Host. We're going to get back 1319 00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,400 Speaker 1: to these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads 1320 00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,040 Speaker 1: from our sponsors to help support the show. 1321 00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:49,840 Speaker 3: My best friend accused me of cheating on him platonically. 1322 00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,560 Speaker 4: Not a thing. That's quit. That's not a thing. 1323 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:54,480 Speaker 3: I'm in the middle of an ongoing argument with my 1324 00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:58,680 Speaker 3: best friend, my female nineteen best friend male at nineteen 1325 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,960 Speaker 3: and I have been closed for three years. I have 1326 00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:03,440 Speaker 3: quite a large social circle, but it has always been 1327 00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,680 Speaker 3: common knowledge that Matt is the person I'm obviously fondest of. 1328 00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,280 Speaker 3: People know that, and it's no secret that we spend 1329 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,080 Speaker 3: most of our time with each other. By the way, 1330 00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,640 Speaker 3: this country, mus are soft savings four one two six, 1331 00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:15,680 Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 1332 00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,840 Speaker 3: to the r slash joke story time subbreddit. So things 1333 00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:22,800 Speaker 3: were absolutely fine until this week. I was invited on 1334 00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:25,360 Speaker 3: a five day camping trip with some of my coursemates 1335 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,600 Speaker 3: at college. We spend a lot of time together and 1336 00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:29,600 Speaker 3: wanted to celebrate the end of the semester by saving 1337 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,640 Speaker 3: up to go somewhere for reference. Matt isn't part of 1338 00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:35,280 Speaker 3: this group because he does another major, so it didn't 1339 00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:38,000 Speaker 3: really come up in conversation before this point because he 1340 00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:39,320 Speaker 3: hardly knows these people and. 1341 00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:41,040 Speaker 2: It didn't seem like a big deal to me. 1342 00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,560 Speaker 3: The trip is scheduled for the start of August, and 1343 00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,040 Speaker 3: I told Matt at the start of this week that 1344 00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:49,400 Speaker 3: I was going. He went silent, and when I asked 1345 00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:51,040 Speaker 3: him what was the matter, he said that it was 1346 00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,440 Speaker 3: weird how I put that much money in time aside 1347 00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:57,000 Speaker 3: for people I've only known since September. I told him 1348 00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:59,400 Speaker 3: that's ridiculous, because we spend a lot of time together 1349 00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,880 Speaker 3: as a group and we're good friends. He still went 1350 00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,040 Speaker 3: on to say that we've never traveled together and he's 1351 00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:07,040 Speaker 3: got two years on them. Then he said, it's like 1352 00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:11,480 Speaker 3: I'm a platonic cheater, quote unquote. I feel bad because 1353 00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:14,160 Speaker 3: my first instinct was to laugh a bit, because honestly, 1354 00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,160 Speaker 3: I didn't expect him to come out with that, but 1355 00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,560 Speaker 3: he hung up the phone and wouldn't answer my texts. 1356 00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:20,400 Speaker 3: I don't know what to do about this because I 1357 00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:23,240 Speaker 3: can't find it in me to apologize. I'm not a cheater, 1358 00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,400 Speaker 3: and I feel like he's making me out to be 1359 00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:29,720 Speaker 3: the a hole for having friends besides him. To be honest, 1360 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,080 Speaker 3: I think the reason we've never traveled alone is because 1361 00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,920 Speaker 3: it'd be a solo trip between two members of the opposites, 1362 00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:36,120 Speaker 3: and frankly. 1363 00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:37,600 Speaker 2: It'd feel like dating territory. 1364 00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:41,040 Speaker 3: It's just not appropriate and I'd rather travel in a group. 1365 00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:43,600 Speaker 3: But Matt's friends aren't my friends, and my friends aren't his. 1366 00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:46,560 Speaker 3: It's not that I think he'd come on to me 1367 00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:49,120 Speaker 3: or anything, but I think that's the type of thing I'd. 1368 00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,640 Speaker 2: Rather reserve for a boyfriend. 1369 00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:53,520 Speaker 3: By the way, this will be my first traveling experience 1370 00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:56,080 Speaker 3: done with friends rather than family. So am I the 1371 00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,920 Speaker 3: a hole for choosing to vacation with relatively new friends 1372 00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:01,439 Speaker 3: instead of my best friend of three years? So there's 1373 01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,800 Speaker 3: an edit here from the next day. I rang Matt 1374 01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:07,120 Speaker 3: today after reading the comments from this morning, asked and 1375 01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:08,760 Speaker 3: asked if we could meet up to talk in person 1376 01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:10,880 Speaker 3: because I'm not happy about the silent treatment. 1377 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,400 Speaker 2: We argued on Wednesday night. 1378 01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,160 Speaker 3: He'll said he'll come over after his shift on Tuesday, 1379 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,960 Speaker 3: so I guess i'll update if we resolve. I'll probably 1380 01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:20,760 Speaker 3: be the only one doing this because I don't want. 1381 01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:24,440 Speaker 2: To drag the situation. So whatever. 1382 01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:27,200 Speaker 3: He didn't apologize over the phone. By the way, and 1383 01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:30,880 Speaker 3: there's some more comments here from Ope. A commenter says 1384 01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:33,120 Speaker 3: he seems to think you're his girlfriend or something. Right, 1385 01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:36,480 Speaker 3: Opie says people do often mistake us for a couple. 1386 01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:39,520 Speaker 3: A commenter says, not the a hole. You are allowed 1387 01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:41,520 Speaker 3: to have other close friendships and go on trips with 1388 01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:44,880 Speaker 3: whoever you want. Matt is acting possessive and framing your 1389 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:50,400 Speaker 3: choice as betrayal, which is unfair and emotionally immature. It's 1390 01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,120 Speaker 3: okay for him to feel left out, but it's not 1391 01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:54,959 Speaker 3: okay to guilt you over it. You've done nothing wrong 1392 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,640 Speaker 3: by saying yes to a fun opportunity with your college friends. 1393 01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:00,560 Speaker 3: If he values the friendship, he'll talk it out once 1394 01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:04,080 Speaker 3: he cools down. Ope, He replies, thank you. I'm trying 1395 01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,320 Speaker 3: to assure myself of that. But he has been a 1396 01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:09,120 Speaker 3: rock for me, so he's kind of got me thinking 1397 01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:11,560 Speaker 3: I've betrayed him in a way, which sounds crazy, But 1398 01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:12,160 Speaker 3: I don't know. 1399 01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:14,400 Speaker 2: I mean, like there is. 1400 01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:17,720 Speaker 3: Something to be said about like completely abandoning like old 1401 01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,640 Speaker 3: friends for like the new hotness or whatever, like, but 1402 01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:22,200 Speaker 3: I don't feel like that's what's. 1403 01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:24,720 Speaker 2: Happening, because you told him about the trip a week 1404 01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,200 Speaker 2: before it happened. You were actively hanging out, like. 1405 01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,400 Speaker 4: Yeah exactly, And I mean, do we know how old 1406 01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:29,880 Speaker 4: these people are? 1407 01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:30,400 Speaker 2: Nineteen? 1408 01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:34,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, hey, yeah, Like it feels like a very high 1409 01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:36,760 Speaker 5: school thing and a nineteen year out of high school now, 1410 01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:38,680 Speaker 5: but like it feels like a very high school thing 1411 01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:43,160 Speaker 5: to not understand that, like people can do things without 1412 01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:47,600 Speaker 5: like either the entire friend group or like without everyone 1413 01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:48,720 Speaker 5: that you know, you know what I mean. 1414 01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:50,520 Speaker 4: Like it's a big thing to go on a trip. 1415 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:54,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, but like even though it's a big deal, it 1416 01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:55,880 Speaker 5: doesn't mean that everyone has to be involved. 1417 01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, just let it, let it be. Come on, guys. 1418 01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:01,280 Speaker 2: Another commenter says, Matt, that is obviously into you and 1419 01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:04,000 Speaker 2: not telling you. Opie says peace. 1420 01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:04,120 Speaker 5: No. 1421 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:06,880 Speaker 3: Top comment is, girl, I think your friend likes you. 1422 01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:09,400 Speaker 3: Why else would someone come up with platonic cheater? Give 1423 01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:12,280 Speaker 3: me a break. Opie's like, I thought it was because 1424 01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:18,640 Speaker 3: we're so close, am I effingdnse? No, you're nineteen about 1425 01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:21,200 Speaker 3: being more than friends, Opie says, I'm starting to worry 1426 01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:23,280 Speaker 3: that is the case, which I don't think would end well, 1427 01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:25,200 Speaker 3: because we have been so close and opened up about 1428 01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:27,400 Speaker 3: so much that it's almost too vulnerable. 1429 01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:30,360 Speaker 2: You know, like our relationship is not a casual friendship. 1430 01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:32,520 Speaker 3: We know deep things about the other's life, and I 1431 01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:35,400 Speaker 3: feel like that's too intense for a budding and dating relationship. 1432 01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:39,040 Speaker 3: Does that make sense, Opie continues, I guess I would 1433 01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:41,960 Speaker 3: have to interrogate him over that. I feel like I'm 1434 01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:44,040 Speaker 3: in my I feel like in my head he's always 1435 01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:46,480 Speaker 3: been an off limits person because we're so close, and 1436 01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:48,360 Speaker 3: so even when there were times I considered us being 1437 01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:51,200 Speaker 3: something more, I never entertained the thought. It's weird he's 1438 01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,600 Speaker 3: off limits, but not because I would never be attracted 1439 01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:54,320 Speaker 3: to him or anything. 1440 01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,160 Speaker 2: He is attractive objectively. 1441 01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:58,560 Speaker 3: Before we were actually friends, my first impression of him 1442 01:02:58,720 --> 01:02:59,720 Speaker 3: was that he was attractive. 1443 01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,720 Speaker 2: It's because I don't know or think it would work. 1444 01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:04,920 Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just yapping now. 1445 01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:07,880 Speaker 3: Another commenter says, not the AO, I don't think Matt 1446 01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:12,640 Speaker 3: is into you necessarily. I mean, it's possible, but there's 1447 01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,439 Speaker 3: no certainty of that, and I wish people would stop 1448 01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:18,880 Speaker 3: suggesting that just because they're of the opposite. 1449 01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:19,920 Speaker 2: Genders and best friends. 1450 01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:22,440 Speaker 3: I've had plenty of jealous friends that weren't romantically interested 1451 01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:24,880 Speaker 3: in me, and I have been scared of being replaced 1452 01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:26,840 Speaker 3: in friendships before, when I was much younger. 1453 01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:29,320 Speaker 2: Opie, maybe plan a day trip with Matt. 1454 01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:31,040 Speaker 3: Something that takes a few hours or so to get to, 1455 01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,760 Speaker 3: so you can go there and back without having to 1456 01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:36,200 Speaker 3: get a hotel room in all the rigamarole. Go to 1457 01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:38,960 Speaker 3: a city, see some sites, do something fun, eat good food, 1458 01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,520 Speaker 3: and have an honest talk about the jealousy. Reassure him 1459 01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:43,200 Speaker 3: you're not going to disappear or replace him, but you 1460 01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:44,840 Speaker 3: have separate lives and that's a good thing. 1461 01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:47,320 Speaker 2: It means you'll always have new stories to share. 1462 01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:49,680 Speaker 3: Opie says, you know, it's a relief to hear you 1463 01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:52,360 Speaker 3: say that, because I've had the same jealousy over girlfriends 1464 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:56,240 Speaker 3: and I'm completely straight probably lol, and so it's not 1465 01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:59,360 Speaker 3: outlandish that he just feels replaced in a platonic way. 1466 01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:02,560 Speaker 2: And there is an update two days after the original post. 1467 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,959 Speaker 4: I think I think he likes you, dude, I think 1468 01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:07,600 Speaker 4: so too. 1469 01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:12,080 Speaker 3: No one throws around the term platonically cheating if you're 1470 01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:15,200 Speaker 3: not like so obsessed with that person that you're like, 1471 01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:17,560 Speaker 3: I wanted to go me, I won't go on trip 1472 01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:17,919 Speaker 3: with you? 1473 01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:22,480 Speaker 4: Me right, maybe just nineteen. 1474 01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:26,480 Speaker 5: You're just so young. You're just so young and stupid, 1475 01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:28,680 Speaker 5: both of you. I mean, maybe not up, but it's 1476 01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:29,640 Speaker 5: just like, it's. 1477 01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:30,320 Speaker 4: Just such a no. 1478 01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:32,080 Speaker 2: It's a little silly to. 1479 01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:36,040 Speaker 5: Be jealous of, Like, you know, your friends hanging out 1480 01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:37,040 Speaker 5: with other friends. 1481 01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:40,720 Speaker 4: That's a stupid thing to do when you're young. 1482 01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:45,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, man, if he's having these feelings, like if he's 1483 01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:48,720 Speaker 5: having these strong feelings about wanting to go somewhere special 1484 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:52,320 Speaker 5: with you, it's very possible that it's because. 1485 01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,400 Speaker 4: Of more feelings. 1486 01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:57,960 Speaker 3: Indeed, let's let's get to the bottom of this update. 1487 01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:01,560 Speaker 3: Two days after the original post, things are kind of resolved, 1488 01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:04,000 Speaker 3: but also up in the air emotionally. In short, Matt 1489 01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:06,200 Speaker 3: came over and it started off pretty heated because I 1490 01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:09,360 Speaker 3: was quite mad. I said, he's completely overreacted and it 1491 01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:11,680 Speaker 3: was immature of him to ignore me for nearly a week. 1492 01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:14,040 Speaker 3: He didn't say much, and he had his head in 1493 01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:15,880 Speaker 3: his hands for a while, which made me go quiet. 1494 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:18,440 Speaker 2: He kept saying, I know, I know, I'm sorry. I 1495 01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:20,760 Speaker 2: feel stupid. So I just came out with. 1496 01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:22,400 Speaker 3: It and asked if there were something he needed to 1497 01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:24,920 Speaker 3: tell me, because I want to know. At this point, 1498 01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:27,440 Speaker 3: I was crying. I was a little riled up, to 1499 01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:29,040 Speaker 3: say the least. So he hugged me and said he 1500 01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:32,080 Speaker 3: loved me, and he was irrational and jealous. Can't lie. 1501 01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:34,120 Speaker 3: I thought we were going to kiss, but we didn't. 1502 01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:35,800 Speaker 3: I don't know what's going on here, but you guys 1503 01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,200 Speaker 3: weren't crazy. We talked more about why the trip bothered 1504 01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:39,640 Speaker 3: him so much, and he kind of echoed what you 1505 01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:42,680 Speaker 3: guys theorized. He felt left behind and said out of 1506 01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:44,560 Speaker 3: all of his friends, I'm the one he values the most, 1507 01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:46,800 Speaker 3: and he'd loved to do something like his first friend 1508 01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:49,160 Speaker 3: holiday with me. Neither of us are that well off 1509 01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,160 Speaker 3: and have only been on a handful of trips with 1510 01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:52,120 Speaker 3: family when younger. 1511 01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:53,440 Speaker 2: Clearly they like each other. 1512 01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:57,280 Speaker 3: Go you want to kiss him, Maybe talk about that, 1513 01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:02,880 Speaker 3: Maybe talk about that then maybe kiss afterwards. Yeah, maybe 1514 01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,680 Speaker 3: I can't lie. I was very nervous, very emotional. I 1515 01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:08,720 Speaker 3: didn't want to push it by asking explicitly if he 1516 01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:09,440 Speaker 3: had a crush on me. 1517 01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:11,160 Speaker 2: But I do acknowledge that the way we act with 1518 01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:11,720 Speaker 2: each other. 1519 01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:15,240 Speaker 3: Like wanting to kiss, is a little more than holy platonic. 1520 01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,000 Speaker 3: Maybe it's just one of those loves where you'll always 1521 01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:21,240 Speaker 3: have that attachment, but I need not materialize into a 1522 01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:22,240 Speaker 3: romantic relationship. 1523 01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:22,560 Speaker 2: I don't know. 1524 01:06:22,680 --> 01:06:24,880 Speaker 3: I'm still confused anyway. I think he was a bit 1525 01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:28,040 Speaker 3: immature at best, you could argue slightly possessive at worst. 1526 01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,080 Speaker 3: He said that when he said platonic cheater, it was ironic, 1527 01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:36,040 Speaker 3: which explains the theoretical wording or theatrical wording, but the 1528 01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:38,920 Speaker 3: jealousy was obviously real. We laughed about it a bit, 1529 01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:45,320 Speaker 3: and we enjoyed some some leafy greens. I think we're okay. 1530 01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:47,400 Speaker 3: I mean, i'd love to hear your takes. 1531 01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:50,040 Speaker 2: I don't know. Someone will say I'm in denial. Haha, 1532 01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:53,400 Speaker 2: you are, y'all needed you guys gotta talk about that. 1533 01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:55,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, it started off annoying, but now I think it's 1534 01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:57,600 Speaker 5: kind of cute. I think you both like each other. 1535 01:06:57,960 --> 01:07:00,680 Speaker 5: It's kind of cute. It's silly that he said that 1536 01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:05,360 Speaker 5: that was ironic, saying like a platonic cheater, but then 1537 01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:07,280 Speaker 5: hung up after you laughed. 1538 01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:09,240 Speaker 2: At that, like, yeah that wasn't ironic, dude. 1539 01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:12,400 Speaker 4: You were mad, yeah, upset, Yeah, you. 1540 01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:15,080 Speaker 5: Just wanted to I think he just wanted to be like, Oh, 1541 01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:17,120 Speaker 5: it feels like you're cheating on me, but like but 1542 01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:18,480 Speaker 5: like we're just friends though, like I. 1543 01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:21,360 Speaker 4: Promise, So yeah, I was in it platonically, but it's like. 1544 01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:23,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, if we were dating, I would think this was cheating. 1545 01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:27,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're nineteen, so you're like, I don't know 1546 01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:28,760 Speaker 3: how to crush on her. 1547 01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:29,640 Speaker 2: What am I gonna do? 1548 01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:33,200 Speaker 5: Just hold hands already, Just go on long walks on 1549 01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:35,480 Speaker 5: the beach already, Come on, hold hands