WEBVTT - Should I not travel anymore? 0:00:11.480 --> 0:00:14.280 I've had a lot of people ask me, how could 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:19.600 you tour and go and leave your family and your 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:24.600 friends and leave them at home and be okay with that? 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:27.560 And it's a great question. And usually what I think 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:31.080 when someone asked me a question like that is I 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:35.879 think about soldiers that are deployed because they have a 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:41.480 much more noble respect for being away from the family. 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:46.040 Like me going and playing music isn't as noble as 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:51.360 a man or a woman saying I'm deploying overseas in Afghanistan. 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:55.560 There's a big difference in those two, I think. And 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:59.280 those are that are deploying overseas are gone a lot 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:03.040 longer than any tour could possibly be. It doesn't change 0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:04.360 the fact that I've thought about it a lot. I 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:05.600 think about it a lot. I think about it every 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.559 time I go out, which hasn't been in a while 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:12.360 because of the craziness of the world. But as I've 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:16.560 gotten older and my family has grown and my roots 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:20.720 have gotten deeper in Texas, it occurs to me a 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:23.679 lot like man, I'm leaving, I'm leaving home. What am 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:28.120 I leaving behind? And I have an answer to that. 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:31.960 It's multi step, but I have answers that I feel 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:36.400 like really justify me being gone. Then anyone that travels 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:39.959 for a living could listen to this. And I think 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:42.600 because I've thought so much about it and I've I've 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:46.520 gotten to digest it so much, I think anyone could 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:50.600 benefit from these thoughts, even if you're just a weekend 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:52.040 or you have to leave for the weekend, or you 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:54.200 just have to leave on Mondays and Tuesdays. And if 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:57.400 you're an over the road trucker, or maybe if you 0:01:57.480 --> 0:01:59.560 are a soldier and you're listening to this, I think 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:02.600 it could to you. And that's the question I got today, 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:05.960 and me and my buddy Bernie, we're here on this podcast. 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:08.360 We're going to dissect that question go through. I'm going 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:10.200 to tell you everything I think about it, and we 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:12.040 got a lot of questions. And if you have anything 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:14.760 for me, anything at all, could just be a shout out, 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:17.320 could be music related, could be tour related, could be 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:22.160 world related, or career related, or you just need to talk. 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:28.000 Email me Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. I'll 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:29.720 put it in an archive and we'll throw it on 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:32.480 here on a Monday morning podcast. Thank you for joining 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.400 us wherever you are. I appreciate you giving me this platform. 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:39.760 Wherever you're listening, whatever you're doing, whenever you listen, whatever 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.160 your ritual is for listening to this podcast. I'm just 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:45.240 grateful you're here and that you keep coming back. And 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:48.880 if you're brand new, welcome. This is the Granger Smith Podcast. 0:02:49.200 --> 0:03:28.920 Ye yee did chants and decent times and long line 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:34.760 of five, fool of huspit down going back range and 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:52.000 cool one evage. Yeah you'reation burning your back back. Thanks 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:55.240 for having me back from pumped man. Yeah, we've been 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:56.560 planning this for a little bit. We want to make 0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:00.240 this a regular thing where it's you know, I don't 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:02.160 know if it's once a month or twice a month. 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:07.080 But you're just so good on this podcast and answering questions. 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:11.200 I love your advice for me. I figured other people 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:14.400 could love your advice for them. Yeah, well, back at you, man. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:17.400 You're good on this podcast, which is why it's the 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:20.840 Granger Smith Podcast. All right, all right, I'll tell you, 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:26.600 all right, let's dig into some questions here I went there. 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:29.240 I kind of sprinkled in some light ones, some heavy ones, 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:34.359 some music ones this first one, and I don't know 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:36.400 what order that they're coming up, So here we go, 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.479 let's hit it. The first one says, Hey Granger, it's 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:41.600 Connor here. First off, I want to let you know 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:45.320 love the new album. Here's my question as an artist, 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:48.599 what is something you look for in your musicians? What's 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:50.480 something that makes you go, wow, I want this guy 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:53.520 to play for me. I know you've previously mentioned that 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.200 your band pretty much has stayed there since the beginning, 0:04:56.760 --> 0:05:00.320 but as a professional drummer, I wanted to know for 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:04.800 myself what do you look for and what stands out PS. 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:07.279 It's a long time dream to play for you. One 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:11.839 time I had a feeling that PS was coming. Connor 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:13.599 was like, what are you looking for? You know, like, 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:24.320 that's a good question, and I always wonder, can I 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:26.039 see this question come up with a bunch? So I 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:31.400 wonder if if musicians kind of map together a game 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:34.320 plan on how to how to land a gig that 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:40.960 they want and probably a lot of things I'll say 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:44.000 is the things that you don't want to hear as 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:50.200 a new musician, meaning not a front guy, not the 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:55.320 not the lead singer. Musicians have a different path and 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:58.160 to me, of course you got to have talent, but 0:05:58.200 --> 0:05:59.960 in a lot of ways, talent just kind of open 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:05.000 the door and you see massive, huge touring bands, and 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:09.479 sometimes they don't have the greatest musicians. That other factors 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:15.760 come into play, So networking is huge for musicians. Networking 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:19.080 so that you can get on that short list of 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:23.240 a lot of people where they say, do you guys 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.080 know any drummers? This happens to me all the time. 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:29.400 I'll get text from singers or other band members that say, hey, man, 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:31.360 looking for a drummer. Let me know if you know anybody. 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.600 It happens a lot, So you need to be on 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:39.200 my short list so that I reference you to whoever 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:43.800 asked that question. How do you do that? Well, I 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:47.000 would start going to If you don't know anybody in 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:50.760 the industry in your genre, I guess your country music. 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:54.839 You didn't say I would go to. I would start 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:59.240 with the closest place where you live that has live music, 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:05.159 and get there before the door's open, and stay there 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:09.600 after the doors close, and just here's where's what I do. 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.080 I would literally walk around to the back of the 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:16.400 venue and don't be a creeper, but that's where the 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:19.679 band is. The band's out there putting stuff in the trailer. 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:22.960 I would just walk up and say, what's up, man, 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.680 I'm Connor. Go up to the drummer and say, I'm 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:30.400 Connor Man. Great show tonight. H What was the symbol 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:32.440 that you had on the left? You know, ask him 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:34.920 a couple of questions, flatter him a little bit, and 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.440 just say I live down the road. I'm actually a 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:40.680 drummer too. I'm looking to get into this business. And 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:43.240 if he's a nice guy, you guys exchange numbers and 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:48.320 that's that's step one. How did you find musicians at 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:58.080 the time? I don't know fantastic answer for Connor that 0:07:58.120 --> 0:07:59.720 you want to hear as I don't know, but three 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:02.239 friend of a friend I could answer for you, though. Yeah. 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:05.600 I think what what jumps to mind is there's this 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:08.800 small little book that nobody's probably ever heard of, called 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:13.240 How to Win Friends and Influence People. But I think 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:15.400 if you take some of you know, Connor, pick that up, 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:17.560 read some of those principles, I think that a lot 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:19.640 of that is that's good for everyone, by the way, 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:22.720 in any industry. Yeah, it's a great book. I think 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:26.240 it's going to point you to one just be really 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:30.680 damn good at what you do and also be very likable. Like, 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:35.520 we want to recommend people that we love to work 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:39.160 with and that are thoughtful and that are generous and 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:42.959 consider it. When you're really good at your craft, it 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:45.360 makes it that much easier to say, oh, call Connor. 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:48.560 But even if you're just on your way up and 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:52.440 you become very likable, people just want to recommend people 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:58.120 that they like. So yeah, so true. My first band 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:00.960 that I put together, I was going to Texas A 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.400 and M. I was a freshman, and I put it. 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:06.199 This is back when I don't think people put classified 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.760 ads out anymore, but the school paper it was called 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:13.480 The Battalion A Texas A and M, and everyone read it. 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:15.000 I don't know if they still do, it's been a 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:18.160 long time, but there was a classified section in the 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:20.760 back of it, and I took out a you know, 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:23.400 twenty dollars or whatever it costs. I think it was 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:25.040 like twenty bucks to put an ad in there and 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:30.440 said country singer looking for country band, serious gigs in line. 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:32.959 I still remember that I didn't have any gigs. I 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:34.760 just lied about that. I just thought that they would 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:40.080 drop me serious gigs coming. I didn't have any gigs 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:42.000 on the books. I just thought that they would be coming. 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:44.240 I was pretty sure they would be coming. You were hopeful. 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:48.199 You got to have hope, have hope. Man. Then I 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:50.520 only got one call from that, but it was a 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:54.040 keyboard player, Eric Verreira. I don't remember area. So he 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:57.400 called me and he goes, I'm a piano player and 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.920 I saw your ad and I was like, okay. So 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.679 we met at the library and I remember there was 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:05.839 a piano in there and he played Garth Brooks the 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:08.480 dance that's like. That was his audition and I was like, 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:12.680 this is great, You're great. But through Eric, he knew 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:17.800 a bass player. The bass player knew a guitar player. Long, 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:21.480 long story short, everyone had a little shortlist. Everyone knows 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:25.280 somebody that plays something, and then that that network just 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.800 expands out. So Connor, you want to get on in 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:31.839 many of those shortlists as you possibly can. And Bernie's right, 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:35.360 you also want to be really likable, So talent super important. 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:40.400 Likability is probably even more important. It probably beats talent 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:44.360 every time because you have a really really talented drummer, 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:48.160 it's just an a hole you're gonna No one wants 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:52.360 to hire that guy. No one cares that much. Because 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:55.280 once you can play a certain to a certain ability. 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:57.719 You're you're in the game, and then you'll just keep 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:02.040 on improving when you're in the gig. So this can 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:06.640 apply to everyone in every career. In every job, be 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:08.880 on the short list. If you have a trade of 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.880 some kind, be on somebody's short list. It could you 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:15.520 could just be an everything guy. At Eye Apparel. We're 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.720 always looking for an everything guy. And in your business, 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:20.120 I'm sure you are too, but it always comes up 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:21.280 and you're like, man, I wish I had a guy 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:24.240 that could just do a lot of things really well. 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:30.440 The last thing I'll say to this Connor, is start 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:34.160 a YouTube channel. Don't worry about getting subscribers and views, 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.360 but just get some of your work online. Be ready 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:41.280 to have a you know, a handful of videos. I 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:44.199 would say you need about ten videos if you If 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:47.560 you don't have a gig right now at all, just 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:52.280 record in your bedroom playing songs that way whenever you 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:54.520 whenever it does come up and you do meet somebody 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:56.880 and they say, well do you have anything of you playing, 0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:00.199 you go boom. Here's here's my YouTube page. Scroll through it. 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:04.560 You could see different genres, different styles, and me playing 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:12.600 that's I think that pretty much covers it. Yep. Yeah, 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:17.959 here's here's one. It says, Hey, Grangeer, my name is Yosi. 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:20.640 I live in Israel, and I wanted to ask you 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:22.920 what you think about Israel and if you would ever 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:29.439 come perform in Israel. And I probably don't see any 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:32.760 gigs coming in the future in Israel, it would be awesome. 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.200 I don't off all the places in the world. I 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:40.200 don't see my career just exploding in Israel. But I 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:43.360 think it's an interesting question. Yo, see that you're listening, 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:49.400 because maybe I'm saying it wrong. Y O s s 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:56.040 I you'll see. And I want I really want to 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:58.520 go to Israel. I've never been, You've never been, right, 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:02.560 we should go together. I would love to get a 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:07.400 following going, and we'll come and you know, we'll hang out, 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:09.600 we'll check it out and maybe do a show, play 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:14.240 a small acoustic show and pay for our expenses to 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:18.480 get there. Maybe we'll do a podcast in Israel. Yeah, Man, 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:25.920 absolutely love is country music like big there? No no, 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:27.559 I could say. I could say it's big in a 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:30.320 lot of places, but I've never heard anyone say. Man, 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:34.880 the Israel country market's really exploding right now. I've never 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:39.640 heard anyone the opportunity for you, buddy, Here we go. 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:43.719 It's wide open. It's a raw market. But I love man, 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:47.040 I love I love the history there, and I will 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:50.920 go there, god willing, in my lifetime. I would love 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:54.680 to go, and maybe Bernie Leslie and me and Amber 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:58.680 and do you they have some really good guides there. Yeah. 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:00.600 But it seems like I've had a lot of people 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:02.839 that recommend a guy. They're like, oh, you got to 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:07.560 talk to Mark or whatever, and he's he's from Pennsylvania, 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:10.160 but he moved to Jerusalem and now he takes tours 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:12.120 over there and he's really good. I've heard a lot 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:16.960 of people say that. Yeah. So John Piper, his mother 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:22.600 died in a bus tour in Jerusalem. Really yeah, wow, 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:28.600 like a accident, Yeah yeah, yeah it was. This is 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:32.120 an evangelist that Bernie and I both follow, and I've 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:34.920 talked about him on this podcast before. John Piper, He's amazing. 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:39.280 But his mother it was like probably twenty years ago. 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:44.000 Mother and father were visiting on tour and bus crashed, 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:48.760 tourist bus and she died instantly, and his dad went 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:53.320 into critical condition when but recovered. So that was quite 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:57.240 a phone call that he received about that. But yeah, 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:02.840 you'll see. Let's do it. Here's a question that says 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:06.840 I want to start by saying thank you for opening 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.000 up yourself to the world and allowing us to see 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:12.400 your heart and learn from your life experiences. My question is, 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:16.480 how have you been able to rise above circumstances in 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:19.960 your personal and professional life when you feel like you're 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:23.000 stuck and you don't know what God's plan is for 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:26.360 your future. Let me explain further. I'm a man who, 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:30.240 like most, has peaks and valleys in my life. In 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:33.080 the overall sense of life, I'm blessed beyond what I deserve. 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:36.040 I have a wonderful, loving wife, a healthy, beautiful daughter, 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:37.760 and people who care about me. I'm a man of 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:40.600 faith just as yourself, and feel that God has had 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.120 his hand on my life in many different ways. But 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:47.720 I'm currently in a season where I'm just struggling. My goal, 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:49.080 as long as I can remember, it was to be 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.440 a great provider as a husband and father for my family. 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.680 Even before I was married and had a child. That 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:58.720 was my goal. I have followed different career paths, options 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:02.760 and had different kinds of successes and failures. My wife 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:07.440 has been supportive through all of my endeavors and we 0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:10.120 moved together as a team. Earlier this year, I was 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:11.920 let go from a job that I thought was going 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:13.960 to be my dream career and I could see myself 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:17.200 growing from the company in the company for the rest 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:19.240 of my working days. But I was let go for 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.400 some personal health reasons and then all this COVID stuff 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:24.880 hit and all the jobs that I was interviewing for 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:28.680 were frozen. I was able to find some basic hourly 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:30.600 work to help us get by, but in no way 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.480 is this a permanent solution. Every day I wake up 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:36.840 feeling unfulfilled that I'm not properly taking care of my 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:40.720 responsibilities as the head of my house. I'm trying to 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:44.160 stay positive, but I continue to struggle. Thank you for 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:47.760 any insight and continue to do what you do. You 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:50.800 reach people in a deeper way. And this is from 0:16:51.040 --> 0:16:56.880 Jared from Nashville, Tennessee. Jared shout out to Nashville, Tennessee, 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:01.320 where Bernie and I met. Yeah. Time, great, there's a 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:06.480 great question, Jared, and a very I don't want to 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:10.119 I don't wanna simplify it, but it's a common question 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:16.200 and that's not minimalizing your struggle. But it's common to 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:20.040 be where you are and to think like you're thinking. 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:24.399 The uncommon thing is probably to recognize it and to 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:29.200 reach out for help in it. Most people start to 0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:33.680 get used to the struggle, the the being stuck feeling, 0:17:34.040 --> 0:17:37.000 and they just kind of think that life is out 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:40.359 to get them and they're a victim of life. And 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:45.280 other people are luckier than they are or more privileged 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.960 than they are, and they just have a bad streak. 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:53.480 But you don't sound like that. You sound like you're 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:59.520 you're trying to take personal responsibility for this feeling, and 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:06.160 that's awesome. Some you say, I'm trying to stay positive, 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:11.159 but I continue to struggle. And Bernie, what do you 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:15.520 say to Jared here? How do you start this? Jared? 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:18.960 You a and alone grangeer myself, probably most of the 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:26.040 people watching this have been where you are or are 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:31.080 currently where you are. I tend to try to look 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:38.320 at things, try to drift kind of out of the situation, uh, 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:40.480 and try to look at it from a higher perspective 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:43.879 before I kind of get into details. This is really 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:49.560 hard to because usually with things like this, you're having 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:52.760 a conversation and there's a lot of questions. There's a 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:56.120 dialogue happening, and so with Jared, it's like I can't 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:58.080 I got a lot of questions. I'd love to ask you, 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:00.919 but you know, to to really dig into this, but 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:06.840 we can't do that. So I think the it sounds 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:10.920 like you have a positive outlook, even in a positive mindset, 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.760 even in the midst of these continual struggles. I think 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:17.720 the biggest and this is with anything, I think the 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:26.000 biggest mistake that we can all make is confusing the 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:29.800 things that we can control and the things we cannot control. 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:35.399 So all we can focus on, all of our energy 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:38.280 has to be focused on the things that we can control. 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:43.359 The things that you're doing. You're you're continually continuing to 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:46.000 look for a job, You're continuing to you know, put 0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:50.840 yourself out there to love on your family, whatever is 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:53.399 in front of you that you feel like God has 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:56.439 given you the opportunity, like you are working hard at 0:19:56.440 --> 0:20:00.000 those things and pushing towards those things. There's so much 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:02.359 much that's not in our control. When we start to 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:07.040 try to manipulate those things and like strangle it to happen, 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:12.200 and we start to force it, then our mindset are 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:15.040 our faith, our heart, everything could just get out of 0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:18.800 sync because what we've done is we've taken the reins 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:25.000 over from from God being in control of the things 0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:29.000 that he's in control of, and and we've we've we've 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:32.960 tried to take those over instead of just focus focusing on, Hey, 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.320 here's what I've given you. What if this season of 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:39.320 struggles for a reason, like there's there's you know, real 0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:45.960 growth and uh and you know, like the first part 0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:50.520 of James says, consider it joy when you experience trials 0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:54.360 and many kinds because the testing of your faith will 0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:58.280 produce perseverance. Not just go ahead and bear it when 0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:03.680 you experienced trial, like consider it joy. Like that's crazy, 0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:07.000 Like that's hard to get your head around. But Jared, 0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:08.520 I think that you may be in one of these 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:12.600 situations where you just stop and say, Okay, well, where 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:14.960 is the joy in this struggle? What does that mean? 0:21:15.720 --> 0:21:18.480 And really dig into that look and see the things 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:21.920 around you that God's given you to control and work 0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:24.760 hard at those things, work diligently at those things, and 0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:27.680 then the rest. You just have to put your faith 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:30.560 in Him that He's He's got you on a path 0:21:31.200 --> 0:21:37.160 and that path is for your good man, that's awesome. Yeah, 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:42.840 that's right on. And the cool thing is you have 0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:46.280 said what's amazing about I've gotten this stuck question a 0:21:46.280 --> 0:21:49.080 lot in this podcast, and but what's different about yours 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:51.480 is you says, my wife has been supportive of all 0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:54.920 mind evors and we have made those moves as a team. Yeah. 0:21:54.960 --> 0:21:59.080 That's awesome, man, that's so that's so awesome that you 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:04.639 have her as a teammate in this because then what 0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:07.920 do teammates do. They win and lose together, They struggle 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:11.640 together in the trenches together, and then that makes victory 0:22:11.720 --> 0:22:15.080 happen together, and you celebrate together and you cry together. 0:22:15.320 --> 0:22:17.560 And if you could look at her and she continues 0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:20.560 to look at you that way, then you could go 0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:25.879 to her right now and you could say, babe, struggling 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:29.200 right now, I feel like I'm not fulfilling my duty 0:22:29.240 --> 0:22:33.440 as what did you say, head of the household? And 0:22:33.680 --> 0:22:36.240 watch her sounds like, watch her lift you up and 0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:40.040 just say you're doing great, You're doing everything you need 0:22:40.080 --> 0:22:42.840 to be doing. Right now. I'm assuming that this is 0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:45.280 the kind of girl that's going to say that, And 0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:48.480 then what do you what are you trying to be 0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:52.800 at that point? What are you what is this this 0:22:53.119 --> 0:22:55.639 mystical head of the household that you were talking about. 0:22:55.680 --> 0:22:58.520 It sounds like it's just a financial thing. It's talking 0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:01.200 about I wish we had more money in our savings account. 0:23:01.680 --> 0:23:07.240 But you're providing food and shelter and security and love 0:23:07.920 --> 0:23:10.480 and guidance to your family. That's all you need. You 0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:15.679 don't need, you don't need anything above that besides just 0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:20.760 pleasurable things, you know, a new jet, ski or whatever. 0:23:21.359 --> 0:23:24.360 So patience is going to be your key right now, 0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:26.480 and that's the key to so much of the world 0:23:26.600 --> 0:23:31.000 during twenty twenty COVID and now continuing into twenty twenty one. 0:23:31.600 --> 0:23:36.320 Just have patience that, like Bernie said, you can't control 0:23:36.440 --> 0:23:40.199 the marketplace right now. So what you could do is 0:23:41.200 --> 0:23:43.720 while you're practicing patience that the marketplace is going to 0:23:43.760 --> 0:23:45.760 come back and you're going to have these opportunities again, 0:23:47.160 --> 0:23:51.320 better yourself on a personal level, get better your relationship 0:23:51.320 --> 0:23:55.399 with your wife and your daughter. Enjoy that. Maybe a 0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:58.560 little extra time, like I'm having a little extra time 0:23:58.600 --> 0:24:00.879 with no touring, maybe you're gonna have a little bit 0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:03.800 extra time before you do step into what's it's probably 0:24:03.840 --> 0:24:06.080 going to be a long term career, your dream career. 0:24:06.840 --> 0:24:09.800 And the crazy thing about this it's so hard to 0:24:09.840 --> 0:24:12.880 see it when you are stuck. But from the outside 0:24:12.880 --> 0:24:15.159 looking in, looking at just the kind of guy you 0:24:15.200 --> 0:24:18.720 are writing this question, Guys like me and Bernie would 0:24:18.720 --> 0:24:22.040 look at you in five years and go, Jared from Nashville, 0:24:22.160 --> 0:24:25.240 how's it going, Oh, man, I actually ended up landing 0:24:25.280 --> 0:24:28.640 a really awesome job and we're you know, we're doing good. 0:24:28.640 --> 0:24:30.639 I'm moving And me and Bernie would go, yeah, we 0:24:30.680 --> 0:24:33.960 thought that, we knew that's gonna happen. It's nothing like 0:24:34.040 --> 0:24:36.000 what I thought it was going to be. You know, 0:24:36.600 --> 0:24:39.480 it took me a different way to get here, but yeah, 0:24:39.520 --> 0:24:42.439 I mean it seems like that's yeah, So life goes. 0:24:42.760 --> 0:24:47.040 You could definitely be this whole thing is most likely 0:24:48.040 --> 0:24:51.920 a blessing in disguise to get you to the career 0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:55.919 that you probably would not have been available to get 0:24:56.240 --> 0:25:00.800 if you had been in the other job. So hang 0:25:00.840 --> 0:25:03.359 in there, man, hang in there, day by day patience 0:25:03.680 --> 0:25:06.960 and erase this idea of I can't I can't remember 0:25:07.000 --> 0:25:13.159 where you put it of I'm I'm not living up 0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:16.840 to the expectation. Where did you say that? Oh? Here 0:25:16.840 --> 0:25:19.919 it is that I'm not properly taking care of my 0:25:20.040 --> 0:25:22.520 responsibilities as the head of the house. Take that out 0:25:22.520 --> 0:25:25.840 of your mind. I know it's hard, and it's admirable 0:25:25.840 --> 0:25:28.959 that you think that way, but just to erase that 0:25:29.000 --> 0:25:32.160