WEBVTT - Mind Your Mentals 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.040 Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of The Black Effect 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:16.640 Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Welcome to another episode 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:22.000 of Reasonably Shady. I'm your girl, Giselle Barryance. What's up everyone, 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:24.279 I'm Robin Dixon. Thank you so much for being here 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:27.960 with us. Hey games, Oh my gosh, thank you guys 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:30.960 for listening. I mean, jeez, you're out there. You love us. 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:33.040 We love you too. Yes, we do not take you 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:35.360 off for granted. Trust me, you have many, many, many, 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:38.879 many many choices of things to listen to. So the 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:43.200 fact that you pressed play on reasonably Shady means so much, 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:45.280 it does, you know. Actually, Robin and I had a 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.680 meeting this morning and we were informed that there are 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:52.920 like a million podcasts literally, like literally a million, and 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:56.000 they're growing and y'all keep coming back to us week 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:59.320 after weeks. So we definitely appreciate absolutely. Yes. Yes, Now, 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:03.320 without further ado, we got to her usually get into 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:13.119 our recently shady moment of the week, right, Okay, Well, 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:18.520 I am going to give it to um Germany kids. 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:23.920 Jermyn they have germs? Okay, yes, because so it's so crazy. 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:26.840 The past year and a half, my kids weren't sick ever, 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.800 because they were at home during a pandemic under eight 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:35.200 you know, stay at home, quarantine, virtual school, water, all 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:37.600 this stuff, now all it takes. We've been back in 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:42.199 school for a month less than right, and my kids 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.400 have been home for a week. Okay, wait wait wait wait, 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:46.720 but don't they wear a mask? And that's what I'm trying. 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:49.000 I asked my kids. I was like, how are y'all sick? 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.320 Where did you get these germs from? And wearing a mask? 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:53.440 And he was and both of them are like, well, 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:58.240 lunch is off the hook, people, just lunch is off 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:01.520 the joint. That's what the germs going. They are like, 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:05.320 everyone is walking around and talking to each other and hey, 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:07.840 you want to sit with me? And my kids are like, no, 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.280 I'm sitting and stay by myself and trust that way. 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:12.520 But you know, they're in the new school, the new 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:14.840 kids at school, trying to you know, be a friend 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:16.520 and all that type of stuff. So yeah, so they 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:21.640 both have strep, throat congestion, all the stuff, and I'm like, wow, 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:25.200 I forgot what it was like to actually like take 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:28.200 my kids to the doctor and take care of sick kids. 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:31.280 That's a whole another animal. Oh my god, it's the worst. 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:33.919 So who so who shady? The germs? Are your kids? 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:37.639 The Germany kids at my kids school? Okay, they're the shady. 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:43.600 Was were your kids sharing food? Because I understand that happens. No, no, no, 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:46.919 they don't do that. They don't do that. I'm sure. 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:51.520 I'm pretty sure they don't do that. But clearly it's fun. 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.320 I mean clearly they gave each other. Like Corey was 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:58.000 sick first on Friday and then on Monday, here comes 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:01.600 Carter with the day. So can what's the what's the 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:03.160 new protocols at the school? Because I know what my 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:05.320 kids school. If you get sick, you cannot go back 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:08.440 for I think it's a week. Yeah, so okay, so 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:11.720 the kids are well aware if you have any of 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:15.400 these symptoms, you know what, sore throat, running, nose, cough, 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:17.920 diary or whatever, then don't come to school. Right, So 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:20.800 they're already well aware. Headache, so you know they try it. 0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:22.840 Oh I got a headache, boy, no, you don't stop. 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:25.480 So so they they're well aware that if they have 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:27.160 any of these symptoms, then they need to stay home 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.240 from school. Okay, So on Friday, when Corey had a 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:32.239 sore throat, I said, okay, stay home, I'm going to 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:35.360 take you to get COVID tested. This is my other mean, 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:37.280 can this be my shading moment of the week. This 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:40.720 can have a two part I love that. I love that. 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:44.040 So I go to this mobile testing place down the 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:48.040 street and the hours of the testing place were from 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:51.000 twelve to seven. Okay, okay, I got there at one thirty. 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:56.240 I got there before the tester got there. Yes, So 0:03:56.400 --> 0:04:00.120 when I arrived, there was already a line literally like 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:04.600 around the corner, down the down the road, and the 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:07.960 people to do the testing weren't even there yet. Where 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:10.600 where were they on a lunch break? Late just I 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:13.880 don't know, just late. And so it was we were 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:18.240 there literally for like standing in line for two hours. 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:22.719 And okay, that's now. It's just like the rapid um No, 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:26.039 what was they do? The rapid and the pcry do both. 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:29.080 But it was insane. I'm like, people literally were lined 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:31.840 up ready to get their COVID tests and and spent 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:34.960 half of their day in the hot sun. Yeah, okay, 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:37.080 though those are the real shady people. Yeah, that's the 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:39.040 real shady people. So I did that to them, Okay, 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.400 but they can't go back unless they have a negative test, 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:44.520 right right, Yeah, so they have have a negative test. 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:47.120 So they have a negative test, but they had positive 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:50.760 strip tests. Okay, that'll be home for a minute. Good luck, mom, 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:53.920 good luck with that. All right. So let me tell 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.760 you about my my shady moment. So I had to go. 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:58.719 I was traveling. I was ad to go to New York. 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:01.880 So I just added to come home on like the 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:04.920 last train from New York to d C. I get 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:08.400 on the train, yes, get I get. I get on 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.360 the train. I get in my little seat, and I'm 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:13.040 like exhausted and all I want to do is close 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:16.960 my eyes and go to sleep. But for whatever reason, 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:21.080 two rows ahead of me was a full fledged loud 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:25.080 conversation with people. And this is like ten thirty at night, 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:27.760 like this is me. No, it wasn't robbing, but it 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:30.960 was like a loud conversation like yeah, girl, I know, 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:35.040 and that's right. And he did it, and I was like, 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:38.040 oh my god. So I would fall asleep a little 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:42.880 bit and then here they come, and I really wanted 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:45.040 to tell those people shut up, shut up. But guess 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:47.719 what you weren't in the quiet car. No I wasn't. 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:51.640 But but okay, this particular train is business class. It's 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:54.480 one car, okay, And I was in the business class car. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:57.400 I didn't think to go to the quiet car because 0:05:57.400 --> 0:06:00.920 that's not business class. That's that's for everybody. And I mean, 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:03.280 I could be with everybody, but I just didn't want 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.920 to be with everybody that night, right and close on them. 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:08.559 So that's so funny because I wrote that same train, 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:12.000 and I remember being on and I was. I was 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.400 on the train with my hairstylus and my makeup artist, 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:18.280 and I heard the lady behind us because we're chatting. 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:20.760 I heard the lady behind us say to the conductor 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:24.640 who's walking through, Um, excuse me, where is the quiet car? Yeah? 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.080 So you want to shady people on y'all train, okay, 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:29.200 And I'm trying to get the people to two rolls 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:31.000 ahead of me, shut the hell out because I want 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:32.800 to take a little nap, right, And that's try That's 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:34.400 that's what I know what training were on, because like 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.440 you probably didn't even get to your station until like 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:39.400 one thirty years more. It was very late. But these people, 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:42.719 thank god, got off at Philadelphia. Thank you so much. 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:45.320 You had like an hour. Yes, Billy took them away 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.520 from me. Thank you very much. But those were the 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:52.720 shady my week. Yes indeed. Alright, so this you have 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.080 some you have something that, um, you want to share 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:58.280 something with the people. Yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, So 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:01.200 before we get into our very important topic, I just 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:04.080 want to share some love. Um. You know, yes, we 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:06.560 called reasonably shady. We like to talk about shady stuff, 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:08.760 but I also like to share the love we received. 0:07:08.760 --> 0:07:13.120 So we received an email from Erica. Her subject is 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:17.120 you never know how you're touching people. She said, Hey, ladies, First, 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:20.880 love the podcast. Love it. Thank you Erica. Next, I'm 0:07:20.920 --> 0:07:23.800 not emailing to share my embarrassing sex moments or what 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:28.640 shallow reason I broke up with someone, she said. See, 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:32.520 I'm a real listener. But what I'm emailing for is 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:35.240 to say thank you. I've learned in my life that 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.360 you never know how you're touching someone. I'm a two 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:42.200 year breast cancer survivor and I'm currently short days away 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:44.480 from my wedding, and I've had a health scare that 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:47.440 could mean my cancer is back. I'm trusting God that 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:50.280 he will make everything okay, but of course I'm scared. 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.240 But in the midst of all of this, I'm sitting 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:57.120 here laughing at or with the two of you. So 0:07:57.160 --> 0:08:00.760 in this moment, I stopped working to send this email 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:04.120 to say thank you for taking my mind off of 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:07.880 life right now. I also love the show. You guys 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:11.920 are the only franchise I watch. I'm over the others 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:17.520 potonac keep them coming. Congrats on everything and God's blessings 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:20.360 of health, love, increase, and prosperity to the Green Eye 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:24.400 Bandits and your family best Erica and Erica, I want 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:27.040 to say to you, thank you so much. That means 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:30.760 so much to us. And I am praying for you 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.320 and for your health. I wish you, you know, many 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:36.360 blessings in your marriage and I pray that your health 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:39.959 improves um so. And I hope our listeners can say 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:42.520 a prayer for Erica as well. Yes, oh my god. 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:44.679 And and that's actually you know, because I was going 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:46.080 through my d M S and I got called like 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.160 a bitch about four times. So stuff like that, like 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.880 nice notes just to let us know that we are 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:55.760 helping you, touching you. I mean, this is that's why 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.120 we do what we do right exactly, Yeah, for sure, 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:00.839 Like I mean, I can honestly say that the negativity 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:05.520 definitely is Um, it's not easy, you know, but it's like, 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:08.760 but when we hear from people positive notes like that, 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:11.240 I mean, so like, while we're brightening up your day, 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:13.920 you're also brightening up our day. So people coming, we 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:18.040 love you, yes, yes, yes, okay, So all right now, 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:20.040 A lot of times we don't talk about you know, 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:21.920 we laugh, we giggle, we do, we do our thing. 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:24.360 But you know, we definitely wanted to get to especially 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:27.120 with um the journey that Robin has been on, we 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:29.400 wanted to get into some mental health. So we put 0:09:29.400 --> 0:09:32.880 a question out to you guys about the misconceptions of 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:38.080 mental health. And this episode is called mind your Mentals. Okay, 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:41.720 mind your Mentals. And because I'm not an expert, Robin's 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:44.080 not an expert, we did get an expert to come 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:47.959 and chat with us today. And yes, I'm going to 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:50.120 introduce our guests, but just to talk about like the 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:53.480 with the show, just me talking about, UM, how I 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:57.640 was feeling during COVID or my seasonal depression. Honestly, I 0:09:57.679 --> 0:10:01.760 was floored by the response that I received from the viewers, 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.640 for people who said, thank you so much. You're verbalizing 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:07.839 everything that I feel, you know, thank you for representing 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:10.880 people like us. Thank you for making me feel human. Um. 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:13.200 And so I've realized how important it is to talk 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:16.360 about these things, you know, not just in your private 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:18.959 home or in your you know, with your trusted confidante, 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:21.880 but like you know, in a public setting, to make 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:24.439 people know that people like us who are on TV, 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:27.920 we're human as well. UM, and you know, just to 0:10:28.040 --> 0:10:31.199 make this forum, in this topic a little bit bigger, 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:34.160 you know, so that people don't have to hesitate to 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:36.800 talk about mental health. And also to make it not 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:41.400 feel so taboo. You know, it's not, um a subject 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:43.320 in which we can't talk about. We definitely need to 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:45.440 talk about it, and we need to make it we 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:49.640 need to normalize it a bit. So please tell us 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:52.200 who I guess. So I'm going to introduce our guests, 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:55.200 and then we're gonna take a short pause. Okay, because 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:57.720 so so I just wanna, um let you all know, 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:00.160 Gazelle and I will now be sharing a microphone own. 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:07.680 Um we we um, since we are by residential, which means, 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:10.280 you know, sometimes we record at Gazelle's house and sometimes 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:14.319 we're at my house. UM, we forget a piece of equipment, 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:18.240 which would be called a third microphone for our guests. 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.240 So once we introduced our guests, She's gonna have one 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.920 microphone and then Giselle and I will share one. So 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:28.679 it might sound a little wonky, but you know where human, 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.800 so bear with us, all right. So, Mereja Paul is 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:36.880 the owner and clinical director of Soul Counseling and Consulting. 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:40.559 Merjor received her Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology from 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:44.360 the Pennsylvania State University and her Master of Science degree 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:49.880 and clinical Community Counseling from Johns Hopkins University OKAY credentials. 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:55.240 Mere is a licensed clinical professional counselor and is an 0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:59.760 approved clinical supervisor by the Maryland Board of Professional Counselors 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:04.680 and Therapists. In April, Merjor open Soul Counseling and Consulting, 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:09.000 a group mental health practice that provides individual, family, and 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:13.760 couples counseling. Marriage's mission mission is to decrease the stigma 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:20.760 of mental health, particularly particularly in communities of color. Her 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:23.360 vision for the practice is to create a safe and 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:27.760 supportive place for clients to feel comfortable, heard, and understood. 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.839 Marriagor's goal is to help people feel empowered to live, 0:12:32.480 --> 0:12:36.160 not merely exist or settle. She chose the name Soul 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:39.920 because the sun is a daily reminder that we two 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:44.520 can rise again from the darkness, that we two can 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:48.679 shine our own light. I love that. And before I 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:52.760 let Mirg to talk, I have to sing something. Marriage 0:12:52.960 --> 0:13:01.240 is the sister of Carly, who is our director of operations. Okay, 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:03.559 so you all have heard us talk about Carly. Carly 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.160 is the one that kind of like handles our logistics. 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.200 She's helping us set up. She forgot to bring the 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:13.120 third microphone. Okay, I'm car and Carly is also like 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:15.400 my very good friend, like you've seen Carly on the show, 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.920 helping me out with a lot of my different ventures. 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:20.600 But I just want to say this. I found it 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:25.680 very comical. So I'm looking at our emails on the 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:29.480 reason the Reasonably Shady Emails, and I see this email 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:34.040 from our director of operations, Carly, to her sister mere 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:40.800 Ja that says, hello, miss Paul, we are I am 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:45.199 writing to confirm your appearance on the Reasonably Shady podcast 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:50.240 at dot. If you have any questions, please forward them 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:55.640 to to me whatever blah blah blah, sincerely Carly, the 0:13:55.720 --> 0:14:04.040 director of Operations. And I was like what, I was like, 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:08.360 this girl is literally talking, literally talking to her sister 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:13.040 in a business manner. She takes her director of operations 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:19.200 job very seriously. Okay. I was dying, like, okay, if 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:20.600 that was me and I was talking about sister, I'd 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.080 be like, hey, girl, we're gonna see you on Friday 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:27.560 at four o'clock, alright, peace, Like what, yes, you gotta 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:30.120 keep it professional at all times. But were you like 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.480 sister No, I found it very professional, and I was 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:36.960 I was very proud of her, like I'm a professional woman. 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:39.200 Don't talk to me like I'm some regular chick off 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:44.720 the street business. Okay, okay, okay, I didn't want to 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:48.920 say that. Um, we're just soul counseling. It spelled s 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:52.600 o L, not so s o u L. I thought 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:57.360 that was like so like soul, Like, oh it isn't 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.320 soul s o l. That's so. That's son in Spans. 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:02.800 So that sun in Spanish. It's also like the root 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:06.440 word of like a lot of words with sun solstice 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:10.280 in French, so you know, trying to go back to 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.360 my my French roots, and no one can say so le. 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:15.560 So I was just like, never mind, you just keep 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:19.000 making us think. Yes, okay, so getting into it. So 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:22.120 with the misconceptions about mental health, a lot of people 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:26.360 said that they feel like they're weak right when they 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:31.400 go seek out counseling, they feel like they're quote crazy, Like, 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:32.920 you know, they don't want to feel like they have 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:36.800 mental issues. Are what are your thoughts on that? So 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:38.840 we get that a lot, right, And that's the whole 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.200 thing about the stigma. How you were saying, Robbin about 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.520 like making it, you know, just more normal normalizing it. Right. 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:48.040 So back in the day, it was for quote unquote 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:51.920 crazy people, right, it was for severe mental health issues. 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.640 They would go to the you know, psychiatric hospital and 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:57.480 things like that. And I don't know if we've really 0:15:57.640 --> 0:16:00.680 changed from that. We're changing, you know, but it feels 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:04.160 like do you wait until like your arm is about 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:06.800 to fall off before you go to the doctor. It's like, 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:09.680 are you weak for going to your regular doctor for 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:13.200 your regular checkups? No? So I feel like we take 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:14.920 care of our body, you should also take care of 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:18.520 our mind. So that idea about it being for weak 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:21.280 people or just for crazy people. And you know, as 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:24.479 a therapist, we don't like to use the word crazy. Um, 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:26.040 but no, I feel like there are a lot of 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:30.360 different issues that people have, and don't wait until it's 0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:33.880 too late or you're super struggling with something before you 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.280 go talk to somebody. Okay, but I'm sorry. A lot 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.440 of people used crazy, right, That's what they said, Like 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:43.080 I'm gonna feel crazy. That's for crazy people. So what 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:46.240 word should we be using because I don't feel comfortable 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.120 using that word. Sure, just say how you feel, right, So, 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:51.280 like if you say I'm gonna feel crazy for going 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:53.440 or do you feel like a crazy person? If you 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.200 feel like a crazy person, that's your word to use. Okay, 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.400 but you can say I'm feeling really anxious, I'm feeling 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:01.360 really overwhelmed, Like I feel like I just gotta get 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:02.880 like would you say on the show Rob and get 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:06.200 my life together? Like, you can just say how you feel. 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:08.080 You don't have to just go to the word crazy 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:17.359 to say how you're feeling like that. So, so when 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:21.240 would you say, like is there a point when people 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:23.159 should know like, Okay, I need to go talk to 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:26.359 someone because I'll be honest with me. I can. I 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:30.120 consider myself to be a very thick skinned person. I'm 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:33.760 very like, Okay, you know life isn't perfect. You know, 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:37.040 suck it, up, move on, it's in and I probably 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:39.920 don't spend the time to kind of like really sit 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:42.800 back and check in with myself. And so for you know, 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:44.960 people like me or even other people who who kind 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.640 of just you know, have this stigma in their mind 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:50.680 about mental health, when do you say, like, okay, I 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:54.040 need to now, I need to go talk to someone, 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:56.639 I need to check in. But it's just like, whatever 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.880 you're doing hasn't been working. So if whatever you're doing 0:17:59.880 --> 0:18:03.040 is not working, then you try something different. Sometimes it's therapy, 0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:06.320 sometimes it's something totally different. But if you're feeling like, 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:08.560 oh my gosh, I've been dealing with this for a 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:12.240 long time and whatever I'm doing is not working, be 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:15.760 open to trying something different. And therapy is not for everybody, 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:18.399 but you could try it and see if that works 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.679 for you. But the whole thing about thick skin and 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:23.920 being weak, it's just like like I said, I mean, 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:27.080 if you're if you're struggling with something, just to try 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:29.760 it out. Okay, So that that's that's good to know. 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:32.360 But let's let's back all the way up. So let's 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:38.119 say I'm feeling anxious, I'm feeling overwhelmed, which is easy 0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:40.000 for me in my life because I have it's just 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:46.240 a lot going on. Would your recommendation be for me too, 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:51.199 first step seek therapy or would you recommend I don't know, 0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:54.280 I go to the gym, I work out, I you know, 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:57.080 drink a glass of wine at night? Like what what 0:18:57.080 --> 0:19:01.600 what are your steps before therapy for somebody to think 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:05.240 about or consider prior to going to therapy. Sure, So 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:07.160 here's the other thing too. When you talk to a therapist, 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:09.720 they're going to suggest things like that too. Right, it's 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:13.680 not all about this. It has to be so structured 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:16.280 and so serious. It could just be does he do 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:18.680 you have a schedule? Are you writing notes? Are you 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:21.119 going to sleep at the right time? Like sometimes the 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.639 therapist is just suggesting normal things like make sure you 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:26.480 are going to the gym, make sure you are going 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:28.720 to bed on time, make sure you are drinking your 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.800 water every day. Right, So, if you're not at that 0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:35.280 place where you're like, uh, okay, I'm feeling anxious but 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:38.480 I'm not quite ready, reach out to friends and family. 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:40.800 Like that's what we do, right, We talked to our friends, 0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:44.720 we talked to our family. Social media although it has 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:47.040 you know, it's pros and cons. Sometimes there's a lot 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:53.960 of resources on social media as well. Right, I'm sorry, record, Okay, 0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:55.879 if we all go to social media to feel better 0:19:56.000 --> 0:20:02.239 about ourselves pros and cons, that is not happen. Okay, resources, Right, 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:06.920 there are a lot of mental health Instagram pages, right, 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:09.159 So it's not just the shade room, it's not just 0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:11.840 shoutouts to the shade your room, you know, for entertainment. 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:15.399 But there are other pages that are about mental health 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:19.800 and anxiety and motivational quotes and things like that. So again, 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:23.720 you know, pros and cons, but there's some resources on 0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:27.000 there as well, right. And I feel, you know, for 0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:29.960 some people who are maybe embarrassed to talk about their 0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:32.960 struggles or they don't want to be judged by you know, 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.680 their family members or their you know friends or whatever 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:38.960 for what they're thinking or they're feeling. I think the 0:20:38.960 --> 0:20:44.000 therapist is that great you know, mutual party. That's not biased. 0:20:44.000 --> 0:20:46.840 They don't know you, they've seen it all their professional 0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:49.880 they're all about the privacy and the hip of laws 0:20:49.920 --> 0:20:52.200 and all that type of stuff. So even for someone 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:55.320 it's like if there's just anything that you're dealing with 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.360 in your life, whether it's just you know, a disagreement 0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:01.720 with your sister or something. You know, A therapist is 0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:04.959 always that neutral party that you can talk to that 0:21:05.040 --> 0:21:07.920 you don't have to worry about being judged, because that's 0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:10.600 what they do, you know. And it's unfortunate because so 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:14.760 many people live their lives and all they worry about 0:21:14.840 --> 0:21:17.320 is being judged. So you know what I mean, It's 0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:19.560 like they they worry about what people think and whether 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:22.719 it's the way they look, they dressed, their weight, you know, 0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:27.760 their job there, whatever, their their relationships, like they're all 0:21:27.800 --> 0:21:30.199 they care about is how they're being judged. And so 0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:33.240 I think a therapist is a neutral party that you 0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:36.679 don't have to worry about that. There's something special about that. 0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:38.919 So some people are like, well, you're a stranger and 0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:41.399 I don't know you. On the other hand, it's like, oh, 0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:44.360 you're a stranger and I don't know you, right, oh, 0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:46.520 which means you don't know me, which means I can 0:21:46.600 --> 0:21:50.119 say whatever I need to say and be okay about it. 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:52.920 So there is that definitely like Okay, you don't know 0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:55.399 all of my background. I'm telling you a little about 0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:57.800 myself and you can kind of chime in from that 0:21:57.880 --> 0:22:01.919 outside perspective. Think about when a company needs, you know, 0:22:02.119 --> 0:22:05.160 just a shift or a chain, they hire an outside consultant, right. 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:08.280 They don't talk to people who are necessarily in the company. 0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:11.200 They're like, let's go outside for someone who's like outside 0:22:11.200 --> 0:22:14.080 the box looking in. So that's what a therapist does 0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:16.840 for you. It's a different perspective. It's someone that does 0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:19.879