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Speaker 1: Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of The Black Effect

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Speaker 1: Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Welcome to another episode

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Speaker 1: of Reasonably Shady. I'm your girl, Giselle Barryance. What's up everyone,

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Speaker 1: I'm Robin Dixon. Thank you so much for being here

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Speaker 1: with us. Hey games, Oh my gosh, thank you guys

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Speaker 1: for listening. I mean, jeez, you're out there. You love us.

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Speaker 1: We love you too. Yes, we do not take you

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Speaker 1: off for granted. Trust me, you have many, many, many,

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Speaker 1: many many choices of things to listen to. So the

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Speaker 1: fact that you pressed play on reasonably Shady means so much,

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Speaker 1: it does, you know. Actually, Robin and I had a

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Speaker 1: meeting this morning and we were informed that there are

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Speaker 1: like a million podcasts literally, like literally a million, and

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Speaker 1: they're growing and y'all keep coming back to us week

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Speaker 1: after weeks. So we definitely appreciate absolutely. Yes. Yes, Now,

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Speaker 1: without further ado, we got to her usually get into

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Speaker 1: our recently shady moment of the week, right, Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: I am going to give it to um Germany kids.

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Speaker 1: Jermyn they have germs? Okay, yes, because so it's so crazy.

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Speaker 1: The past year and a half, my kids weren't sick ever,

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Speaker 1: because they were at home during a pandemic under eight

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Speaker 1: you know, stay at home, quarantine, virtual school, water, all

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Speaker 1: this stuff, now all it takes. We've been back in

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Speaker 1: school for a month less than right, and my kids

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Speaker 1: have been home for a week. Okay, wait wait wait wait,

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Speaker 1: but don't they wear a mask? And that's what I'm trying.

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Speaker 1: I asked my kids. I was like, how are y'all sick?

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Speaker 1: Where did you get these germs from? And wearing a mask?

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Speaker 1: And he was and both of them are like, well,

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Speaker 1: lunch is off the hook, people, just lunch is off

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Speaker 1: the joint. That's what the germs going. They are like,

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Speaker 1: everyone is walking around and talking to each other and hey,

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Speaker 1: you want to sit with me? And my kids are like, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm sitting and stay by myself and trust that way.

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Speaker 1: But you know, they're in the new school, the new

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Speaker 1: kids at school, trying to you know, be a friend

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Speaker 1: and all that type of stuff. So yeah, so they

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Speaker 1: both have strep, throat congestion, all the stuff, and I'm like, wow,

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Speaker 1: I forgot what it was like to actually like take

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Speaker 1: my kids to the doctor and take care of sick kids.

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Speaker 1: That's a whole another animal. Oh my god, it's the worst.

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Speaker 1: So who so who shady? The germs? Are your kids?

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Speaker 1: The Germany kids at my kids school? Okay, they're the shady.

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Speaker 1: Was were your kids sharing food? Because I understand that happens. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: they don't do that. They don't do that. I'm sure.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure they don't do that. But clearly it's fun.

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Speaker 1: I mean clearly they gave each other. Like Corey was

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Speaker 1: sick first on Friday and then on Monday, here comes

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Speaker 1: Carter with the day. So can what's the what's the

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Speaker 1: new protocols at the school? Because I know what my

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Speaker 1: kids school. If you get sick, you cannot go back

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Speaker 1: for I think it's a week. Yeah, so okay, so

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Speaker 1: the kids are well aware if you have any of

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Speaker 1: these symptoms, you know what, sore throat, running, nose, cough,

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Speaker 1: diary or whatever, then don't come to school. Right, So

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Speaker 1: they're already well aware. Headache, so you know they try it.

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Speaker 1: Oh I got a headache, boy, no, you don't stop.

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Speaker 1: So so they they're well aware that if they have

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Speaker 1: any of these symptoms, then they need to stay home

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Speaker 1: from school. Okay, So on Friday, when Corey had a

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Speaker 1: sore throat, I said, okay, stay home, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: take you to get COVID tested. This is my other mean,

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Speaker 1: can this be my shading moment of the week. This

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Speaker 1: can have a two part I love that. I love that.

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Speaker 1: So I go to this mobile testing place down the

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Speaker 1: street and the hours of the testing place were from

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Speaker 1: twelve to seven. Okay, okay, I got there at one thirty.

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Speaker 1: I got there before the tester got there. Yes, So

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Speaker 1: when I arrived, there was already a line literally like

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Speaker 1: around the corner, down the down the road, and the

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Speaker 1: people to do the testing weren't even there yet. Where

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Speaker 1: where were they on a lunch break? Late just I

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Speaker 1: don't know, just late. And so it was we were

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Speaker 1: there literally for like standing in line for two hours.

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Speaker 1: And okay, that's now. It's just like the rapid um No,

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Speaker 1: what was they do? The rapid and the pcry do both.

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Speaker 1: But it was insane. I'm like, people literally were lined

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Speaker 1: up ready to get their COVID tests and and spent

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Speaker 1: half of their day in the hot sun. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: though those are the real shady people. Yeah, that's the

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Speaker 1: real shady people. So I did that to them, Okay,

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Speaker 1: but they can't go back unless they have a negative test,

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Speaker 1: right right, Yeah, so they have have a negative test.

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Speaker 1: So they have a negative test, but they had positive

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Speaker 1: strip tests. Okay, that'll be home for a minute. Good luck, mom,

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Speaker 1: good luck with that. All right. So let me tell

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Speaker 1: you about my my shady moment. So I had to go.

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Speaker 1: I was traveling. I was ad to go to New York.

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Speaker 1: So I just added to come home on like the

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Speaker 1: last train from New York to d C. I get

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Speaker 1: on the train, yes, get I get. I get on

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Speaker 1: the train. I get in my little seat, and I'm

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Speaker 1: like exhausted and all I want to do is close

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Speaker 1: my eyes and go to sleep. But for whatever reason,

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Speaker 1: two rows ahead of me was a full fledged loud

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Speaker 1: conversation with people. And this is like ten thirty at night,

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Speaker 1: like this is me. No, it wasn't robbing, but it

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Speaker 1: was like a loud conversation like yeah, girl, I know,

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Speaker 1: and that's right. And he did it, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. So I would fall asleep a little

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Speaker 1: bit and then here they come, and I really wanted

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Speaker 1: to tell those people shut up, shut up. But guess

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Speaker 1: what you weren't in the quiet car. No I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: But but okay, this particular train is business class. It's

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Speaker 1: one car, okay, And I was in the business class car.

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Speaker 1: I didn't think to go to the quiet car because

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Speaker 1: that's not business class. That's that's for everybody. And I mean,

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Speaker 1: I could be with everybody, but I just didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be with everybody that night, right and close on them.

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Speaker 1: So that's so funny because I wrote that same train,

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Speaker 1: and I remember being on and I was. I was

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Speaker 1: on the train with my hairstylus and my makeup artist,

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Speaker 1: and I heard the lady behind us because we're chatting.

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Speaker 1: I heard the lady behind us say to the conductor

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Speaker 1: who's walking through, Um, excuse me, where is the quiet car? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So you want to shady people on y'all train, okay,

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Speaker 1: And I'm trying to get the people to two rolls

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Speaker 1: ahead of me, shut the hell out because I want

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Speaker 1: to take a little nap, right, And that's try That's

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Speaker 1: that's what I know what training were on, because like

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Speaker 1: you probably didn't even get to your station until like

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Speaker 1: one thirty years more. It was very late. But these people,

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Speaker 1: thank god, got off at Philadelphia. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: You had like an hour. Yes, Billy took them away

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Speaker 1: from me. Thank you very much. But those were the

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Speaker 1: shady my week. Yes indeed. Alright, so this you have

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Speaker 1: some you have something that, um, you want to share

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Speaker 1: something with the people. Yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, So

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Speaker 1: before we get into our very important topic, I just

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Speaker 1: want to share some love. Um. You know, yes, we

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Speaker 1: called reasonably shady. We like to talk about shady stuff,

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Speaker 1: but I also like to share the love we received.

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Speaker 1: So we received an email from Erica. Her subject is

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Speaker 1: you never know how you're touching people. She said, Hey, ladies, First,

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Speaker 1: love the podcast. Love it. Thank you Erica. Next, I'm

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Speaker 1: not emailing to share my embarrassing sex moments or what

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Speaker 1: shallow reason I broke up with someone, she said. See,

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Speaker 1: I'm a real listener. But what I'm emailing for is

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Speaker 1: to say thank you. I've learned in my life that

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Speaker 1: you never know how you're touching someone. I'm a two

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Speaker 1: year breast cancer survivor and I'm currently short days away

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Speaker 1: from my wedding, and I've had a health scare that

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Speaker 1: could mean my cancer is back. I'm trusting God that

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Speaker 1: he will make everything okay, but of course I'm scared.

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Speaker 1: But in the midst of all of this, I'm sitting

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Speaker 1: here laughing at or with the two of you. So

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Speaker 1: in this moment, I stopped working to send this email

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Speaker 1: to say thank you for taking my mind off of

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Speaker 1: life right now. I also love the show. You guys

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Speaker 1: are the only franchise I watch. I'm over the others

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Speaker 1: potonac keep them coming. Congrats on everything and God's blessings

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Speaker 1: of health, love, increase, and prosperity to the Green Eye

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Speaker 1: Bandits and your family best Erica and Erica, I want

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Speaker 1: to say to you, thank you so much. That means

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Speaker 1: so much to us. And I am praying for you

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Speaker 1: and for your health. I wish you, you know, many

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Speaker 1: blessings in your marriage and I pray that your health

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Speaker 1: improves um so. And I hope our listeners can say

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Speaker 1: a prayer for Erica as well. Yes, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: And and that's actually you know, because I was going

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Speaker 1: through my d M S and I got called like

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Speaker 1: a bitch about four times. So stuff like that, like

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Speaker 1: nice notes just to let us know that we are

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Speaker 1: helping you, touching you. I mean, this is that's why

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Speaker 1: we do what we do right exactly, Yeah, for sure,

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Speaker 1: Like I mean, I can honestly say that the negativity

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Speaker 1: definitely is Um, it's not easy, you know, but it's like,

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Speaker 1: but when we hear from people positive notes like that,

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Speaker 1: I mean, so like, while we're brightening up your day,

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Speaker 1: you're also brightening up our day. So people coming, we

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Speaker 1: love you, yes, yes, yes, okay, So all right now,

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Speaker 1: A lot of times we don't talk about you know,

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Speaker 1: we laugh, we giggle, we do, we do our thing.

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Speaker 1: But you know, we definitely wanted to get to especially

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Speaker 1: with um the journey that Robin has been on, we

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Speaker 1: wanted to get into some mental health. So we put

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Speaker 1: a question out to you guys about the misconceptions of

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Speaker 1: mental health. And this episode is called mind your Mentals. Okay,

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Speaker 1: mind your Mentals. And because I'm not an expert, Robin's

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Speaker 1: not an expert, we did get an expert to come

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Speaker 1: and chat with us today. And yes, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: introduce our guests, but just to talk about like the

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Speaker 1: with the show, just me talking about, UM, how I

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Speaker 1: was feeling during COVID or my seasonal depression. Honestly, I

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Speaker 1: was floored by the response that I received from the viewers,

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Speaker 1: for people who said, thank you so much. You're verbalizing

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Speaker 1: everything that I feel, you know, thank you for representing

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Speaker 1: people like us. Thank you for making me feel human. Um.

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Speaker 1: And so I've realized how important it is to talk

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Speaker 1: about these things, you know, not just in your private

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Speaker 1: home or in your you know, with your trusted confidante,

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Speaker 1: but like you know, in a public setting, to make

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Speaker 1: people know that people like us who are on TV,

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Speaker 1: we're human as well. UM, and you know, just to

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Speaker 1: make this forum, in this topic a little bit bigger,

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Speaker 1: you know, so that people don't have to hesitate to

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Speaker 1: talk about mental health. And also to make it not

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Speaker 1: feel so taboo. You know, it's not, um a subject

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Speaker 1: in which we can't talk about. We definitely need to

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Speaker 1: talk about it, and we need to make it we

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Speaker 1: need to normalize it a bit. So please tell us

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Speaker 1: who I guess. So I'm going to introduce our guests,

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Speaker 1: and then we're gonna take a short pause. Okay, because

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Speaker 1: so so I just wanna, um let you all know,

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Speaker 1: Gazelle and I will now be sharing a microphone own.

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Speaker 1: Um we we um, since we are by residential, which means,

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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes we record at Gazelle's house and sometimes

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Speaker 1: we're at my house. UM, we forget a piece of equipment,

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Speaker 1: which would be called a third microphone for our guests.

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Speaker 1: So once we introduced our guests, She's gonna have one

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Speaker 1: microphone and then Giselle and I will share one. So

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Speaker 1: it might sound a little wonky, but you know where human,

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Speaker 1: so bear with us, all right. So, Mereja Paul is

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Speaker 1: the owner and clinical director of Soul Counseling and Consulting.

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Speaker 1: Merjor received her Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology from

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Speaker 1: the Pennsylvania State University and her Master of Science degree

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Speaker 1: and clinical Community Counseling from Johns Hopkins University OKAY credentials.

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Speaker 1: Mere is a licensed clinical professional counselor and is an

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Speaker 1: approved clinical supervisor by the Maryland Board of Professional Counselors

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Speaker 1: and Therapists. In April, Merjor open Soul Counseling and Consulting,

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Speaker 1: a group mental health practice that provides individual, family, and

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Speaker 1: couples counseling. Marriage's mission mission is to decrease the stigma

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Speaker 1: of mental health, particularly particularly in communities of color. Her

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Speaker 1: vision for the practice is to create a safe and

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Speaker 1: supportive place for clients to feel comfortable, heard, and understood.

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Speaker 1: Marriagor's goal is to help people feel empowered to live,

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Speaker 1: not merely exist or settle. She chose the name Soul

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Speaker 1: because the sun is a daily reminder that we two

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Speaker 1: can rise again from the darkness, that we two can

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Speaker 1: shine our own light. I love that. And before I

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Speaker 1: let Mirg to talk, I have to sing something. Marriage

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Speaker 1: is the sister of Carly, who is our director of operations. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you all have heard us talk about Carly. Carly

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Speaker 1: is the one that kind of like handles our logistics.

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Speaker 1: She's helping us set up. She forgot to bring the

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Speaker 1: third microphone. Okay, I'm car and Carly is also like

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Speaker 1: my very good friend, like you've seen Carly on the show,

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Speaker 1: helping me out with a lot of my different ventures.

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Speaker 1: But I just want to say this. I found it

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Speaker 1: very comical. So I'm looking at our emails on the

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Speaker 1: reason the Reasonably Shady Emails, and I see this email

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Speaker 1: from our director of operations, Carly, to her sister mere

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Speaker 1: Ja that says, hello, miss Paul, we are I am

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Speaker 1: writing to confirm your appearance on the Reasonably Shady podcast

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Speaker 1: at dot. If you have any questions, please forward them

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Speaker 1: to to me whatever blah blah blah, sincerely Carly, the

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Speaker 1: director of Operations. And I was like what, I was like,

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Speaker 1: this girl is literally talking, literally talking to her sister

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Speaker 1: in a business manner. She takes her director of operations

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Speaker 1: job very seriously. Okay. I was dying, like, okay, if

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Speaker 1: that was me and I was talking about sister, I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, hey, girl, we're gonna see you on Friday

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Speaker 1: at four o'clock, alright, peace, Like what, yes, you gotta

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Speaker 1: keep it professional at all times. But were you like

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Speaker 1: sister No, I found it very professional, and I was

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Speaker 1: I was very proud of her, like I'm a professional woman.

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Speaker 1: Don't talk to me like I'm some regular chick off

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Speaker 1: the street business. Okay, okay, okay, I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: say that. Um, we're just soul counseling. It spelled s

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Speaker 1: o L, not so s o u L. I thought

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Speaker 1: that was like so like soul, Like, oh it isn't

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Speaker 1: soul s o l. That's so. That's son in Spans.

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Speaker 1: So that sun in Spanish. It's also like the root

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Speaker 1: word of like a lot of words with sun solstice

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Speaker 1: in French, so you know, trying to go back to

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Speaker 1: my my French roots, and no one can say so le.

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Speaker 1: So I was just like, never mind, you just keep

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Speaker 1: making us think. Yes, okay, so getting into it. So

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Speaker 1: with the misconceptions about mental health, a lot of people

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Speaker 1: said that they feel like they're weak right when they

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Speaker 1: go seek out counseling, they feel like they're quote crazy, Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, they don't want to feel like they have

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Speaker 1: mental issues. Are what are your thoughts on that? So

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Speaker 1: we get that a lot, right, And that's the whole

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Speaker 1: thing about the stigma. How you were saying, Robbin about

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Speaker 1: like making it, you know, just more normal normalizing it. Right.

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Speaker 1: So back in the day, it was for quote unquote

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Speaker 1: crazy people, right, it was for severe mental health issues.

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Speaker 1: They would go to the you know, psychiatric hospital and

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Speaker 1: things like that. And I don't know if we've really

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Speaker 1: changed from that. We're changing, you know, but it feels

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Speaker 1: like do you wait until like your arm is about

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Speaker 1: to fall off before you go to the doctor. It's like,

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Speaker 1: are you weak for going to your regular doctor for

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Speaker 1: your regular checkups? No? So I feel like we take

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Speaker 1: care of our body, you should also take care of

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Speaker 1: our mind. So that idea about it being for weak

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Speaker 1: people or just for crazy people. And you know, as

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Speaker 1: a therapist, we don't like to use the word crazy. Um,

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Speaker 1: but no, I feel like there are a lot of

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Speaker 1: different issues that people have, and don't wait until it's

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Speaker 1: too late or you're super struggling with something before you

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Speaker 1: go talk to somebody. Okay, but I'm sorry. A lot

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Speaker 1: of people used crazy, right, That's what they said, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel crazy. That's for crazy people. So what

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Speaker 1: word should we be using because I don't feel comfortable

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Speaker 1: using that word. Sure, just say how you feel, right, So,

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Speaker 1: like if you say I'm gonna feel crazy for going

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Speaker 1: or do you feel like a crazy person? If you

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Speaker 1: feel like a crazy person, that's your word to use. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but you can say I'm feeling really anxious, I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: really overwhelmed, Like I feel like I just gotta get

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Speaker 1: like would you say on the show Rob and get

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Speaker 1: my life together? Like, you can just say how you feel.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to just go to the word crazy

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Speaker 1: to say how you're feeling like that. So, so when

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Speaker 1: would you say, like is there a point when people

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Speaker 1: should know like, Okay, I need to go talk to

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Speaker 1: someone because I'll be honest with me. I can. I

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Speaker 1: consider myself to be a very thick skinned person. I'm

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Speaker 1: very like, Okay, you know life isn't perfect. You know,

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Speaker 1: suck it, up, move on, it's in and I probably

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Speaker 1: don't spend the time to kind of like really sit

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Speaker 1: back and check in with myself. And so for you know,

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Speaker 1: people like me or even other people who who kind

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Speaker 1: of just you know, have this stigma in their mind

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Speaker 1: about mental health, when do you say, like, okay, I

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Speaker 1: need to now, I need to go talk to someone,

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Speaker 1: I need to check in. But it's just like, whatever

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Speaker 1: you're doing hasn't been working. So if whatever you're doing

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Speaker 1: is not working, then you try something different. Sometimes it's therapy,

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's something totally different. But if you're feeling like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I've been dealing with this for a

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Speaker 1: long time and whatever I'm doing is not working, be

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Speaker 1: open to trying something different. And therapy is not for everybody,

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Speaker 1: but you could try it and see if that works

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Speaker 1: for you. But the whole thing about thick skin and

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Speaker 1: being weak, it's just like like I said, I mean,

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Speaker 1: if you're if you're struggling with something, just to try

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Speaker 1: it out. Okay, So that that's that's good to know.

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Speaker 1: But let's let's back all the way up. So let's

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Speaker 1: say I'm feeling anxious, I'm feeling overwhelmed, which is easy

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Speaker 1: for me in my life because I have it's just

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Speaker 1: a lot going on. Would your recommendation be for me too,

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Speaker 1: first step seek therapy or would you recommend I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I go to the gym, I work out, I you know,

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Speaker 1: drink a glass of wine at night? Like what what

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Speaker 1: what are your steps before therapy for somebody to think

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Speaker 1: about or consider prior to going to therapy. Sure, So

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Speaker 1: here's the other thing too. When you talk to a therapist,

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Speaker 1: they're going to suggest things like that too. Right, it's

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Speaker 1: not all about this. It has to be so structured

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Speaker 1: and so serious. It could just be does he do

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Speaker 1: you have a schedule? Are you writing notes? Are you

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Speaker 1: going to sleep at the right time? Like sometimes the

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Speaker 1: therapist is just suggesting normal things like make sure you

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Speaker 1: are going to the gym, make sure you are going

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Speaker 1: to bed on time, make sure you are drinking your

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Speaker 1: water every day. Right, So, if you're not at that

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Speaker 1: place where you're like, uh, okay, I'm feeling anxious but

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Speaker 1: I'm not quite ready, reach out to friends and family.

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Speaker 1: Like that's what we do, right, We talked to our friends,

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Speaker 1: we talked to our family. Social media although it has

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Speaker 1: you know, it's pros and cons. Sometimes there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of resources on social media as well. Right, I'm sorry, record, Okay,

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Speaker 1: if we all go to social media to feel better

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Speaker 1: about ourselves pros and cons, that is not happen. Okay, resources, Right,

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of mental health Instagram pages, right,

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Speaker 1: So it's not just the shade room, it's not just

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Speaker 1: shoutouts to the shade your room, you know, for entertainment.

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Speaker 1: But there are other pages that are about mental health

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Speaker 1: and anxiety and motivational quotes and things like that. So again,

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Speaker 1: you know, pros and cons, but there's some resources on

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Speaker 1: there as well, right. And I feel, you know, for

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Speaker 1: some people who are maybe embarrassed to talk about their

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Speaker 1: struggles or they don't want to be judged by you know,

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Speaker 1: their family members or their you know friends or whatever

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Speaker 1: for what they're thinking or they're feeling. I think the

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Speaker 1: therapist is that great you know, mutual party. That's not biased.

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Speaker 1: They don't know you, they've seen it all their professional

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Speaker 1: they're all about the privacy and the hip of laws

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Speaker 1: and all that type of stuff. So even for someone

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Speaker 1: it's like if there's just anything that you're dealing with

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Speaker 1: in your life, whether it's just you know, a disagreement

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Speaker 1: with your sister or something. You know, A therapist is

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Speaker 1: always that neutral party that you can talk to that

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Speaker 1: you don't have to worry about being judged, because that's

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Speaker 1: what they do, you know. And it's unfortunate because so

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Speaker 1: many people live their lives and all they worry about

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Speaker 1: is being judged. So you know what I mean, It's

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Speaker 1: like they they worry about what people think and whether

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Speaker 1: it's the way they look, they dressed, their weight, you know,

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Speaker 1: their job there, whatever, their their relationships, like they're all

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Speaker 1: they care about is how they're being judged. And so

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Speaker 1: I think a therapist is a neutral party that you

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Speaker 1: don't have to worry about that. There's something special about that.

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Speaker 1: So some people are like, well, you're a stranger and

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Speaker 1: I don't know you. On the other hand, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're a stranger and I don't know you, right, oh,

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Speaker 1: which means you don't know me, which means I can

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Speaker 1: say whatever I need to say and be okay about it.

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Speaker 1: So there is that definitely like Okay, you don't know

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Speaker 1: all of my background. I'm telling you a little about

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Speaker 1: myself and you can kind of chime in from that

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Speaker 1: outside perspective. Think about when a company needs, you know,

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Speaker 1: just a shift or a chain, they hire an outside consultant, right.

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Speaker 1: They don't talk to people who are necessarily in the company.

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Speaker 1: They're like, let's go outside for someone who's like outside

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Speaker 1: the box looking in. So that's what a therapist does

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Speaker 1: for you. It's a different perspective. It's someone that does

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Speaker 1: not know you, and it's just like, Okay, you're not

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Speaker 1: gonna see me at the club. You know, well now

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Speaker 1: it's pandemic, but you know what I mean, Oh, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna see this therapist that club to day. But it's not.

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Speaker 1: I kind of I feel like a lot of people

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Speaker 1: feel that it's scary, right, they're really gonna sit down

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Speaker 1: with somebody that's a professional, that knows what they're talking about,

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Speaker 1: that knows when you lie in and can call you

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Speaker 1: on your ship. So that means that you have to

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Speaker 1: have a level of vulnerability to can sign up for this.

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Speaker 1: You do, you do, but in the very first conversation,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna sit here and ask you, in the

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Speaker 1: very first conversation your deepest, darkest secret. Like there's a

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Speaker 1: method to how we do things right. It's like, let's

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Speaker 1: get comfortable, let's build some rapport, let's get to know

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Speaker 1: each other, and you'd be surprised, like once you kind

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Speaker 1: of let your guard down a little bit, the things

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Speaker 1: that you say. I mean, I've had people say to

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Speaker 1: me like, oh my god, I haven't told anybody that

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Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm telling you this, Or you sit down,

421
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: you're just like, so, what's going on? And it's like

422
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 1: tears and you're like, oh, you've been holding that in

423
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 1: for a while. So yeah, of course it is about

424
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,399
Speaker 1: being vulnerable, but it is also for the therapist to

425
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 1: kind of guide you and lead you and not start

426
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: with all right, tell me what what's going on? Was well,

427
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: come on, what why did you do that? What's no, Like,

428
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: let's ease into it, let's get comfortable, let's get to

429
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: know each other. Then third session, fourth session, fit session.

430
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 1: Then it's like, all right, now I'm gonna call you

431
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,919
Speaker 1: out on your stuff. Okay. So, I mean, it's so interesting.

432
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 1: I'm looking through all the responses that we got and

433
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: and they all are or not all, but a lot

434
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 1: of them. It's like the misconception or the things that

435
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 1: they worry about is that there's something wrong with you,

436
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: that you're crazy, it's so like I was just really

437
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:01,160
Speaker 1: looking through these um is there something would you say,

438
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 1: What is like the most common reason someone comes to

439
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 1: you or seeks with therapists? Well, you know now anxiety, right,

440
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 1: People who didn't have anxiety before, well now it's COVID,

441
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 1: and so we all kind of have a level of anxiety, right,

442
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: So that is I think everybody has anxiety even before COVID.

443
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 1: I don't think we named it as anxiety. I think

444
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: it was like I get stressed out, so so and

445
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: explain anxiety anxiety because that comes in different forms, very

446
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: different forms. So is it like worry. It could be worried, Sure,

447
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 1: it could be worried. It could be worried about everything,

448
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 1: or it could be worried about just something specific. Right.

449
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 1: It could be you have a need to control everything

450
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: and you're just like, oh, I'm just controlling, or I

451
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: just like to know the plan, I know what's going

452
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,679
Speaker 1: on at all times. That could be a little bit

453
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 1: of anxiety kind of creeping in, like I need to

454
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: know what's going on so I can get my mind

455
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,679
Speaker 1: right and then prepare for it. That's a little bit

456
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 1: of anxiety there too, And that's not a bad word.

457
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 1: I don't want people to say, oh, I have anxiety,

458
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,439
Speaker 1: and it's just like now we're labeling you. You have

459
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: this diagnosis, something's wrong with you. We're using the word

460
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: that we're talking about mental health. But if you want

461
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 1: to stay stressed, if you want to say overwhelmed, fine,

462
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to be like it's a

463
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 1: stigma to label, but um yeah, it comes in different forms. Well.

464
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: I was just asking because people need to be able

465
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,159
Speaker 1: to say to themselves when they are feeling whatever kind

466
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 1: of way they're they need to be able to label

467
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 1: it for themselves as opposed to just like wallowing in

468
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:39,360
Speaker 1: it or not knowing what direction to go to get

469
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,719
Speaker 1: out of it. Right. They need to understand what's going

470
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: on with themselves. That's why I was like, an anxiety

471
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: is never really explained, but you you gave a good explanation.

472
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: It's not always like a panic attack. Sometimes it is right,

473
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: but it's not always that right. It's like like I said,

474
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,679
Speaker 1: and come out in different ways. It could be like

475
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 1: I'm not sleeping, well, i'm having bad dreamsames you know,

476
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: there's a little like feeling in in my chest or

477
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 1: in my belly, and I'm not really sure where that

478
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: comes from. Every time I'm about to go to work,

479
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 1: I had this like pit in my stomach. So I

480
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,160
Speaker 1: like what you said about just kind of paying attention

481
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 1: to that and seeing what that is, naming it and

482
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 1: then take it from there. Right. I almost think they're

483
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 1: you guys almost need to come up with an alternate

484
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: word that's not therapy or mental health, you know what

485
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: I mean, because like when you hear the word therapy,

486
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: you think, Okay, there's something wrong with me and I

487
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: need to be rehabilitated for mental health, you know, the whole.

488
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 1: I'm crazy, I'm weak. So it's like I wish they're like,

489
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: what is another word that you all could like start

490
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 1: using so that people would know? Like you know, it's

491
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 1: like almost like you're checking you know, you're I don't.

492
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 1: I guess you start using hearing the accountable accountability partner

493
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: partner type stuff, but not so much that but more

494
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: of like a check in check in person. Yeah, Like

495
00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:00,640
Speaker 1: what can that be? Because I person, because I think

496
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:04,120
Speaker 1: the word itself is what is misleading for people? Sure,

497
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 1: you know, um, I don't know what those words could

498
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: be because like I think, like I said, just personally,

499
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,119
Speaker 1: I'm like, ain't not wrong with me? You know what

500
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, yeah, I'm busy and I'm stressed, but

501
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 1: isn't everybody you know? So I think it's the actual

502
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 1: word therapy that makes it sound like you know, there's

503
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,479
Speaker 1: something wrong with you versus you know, no, you just

504
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,199
Speaker 1: have a lot going on. You need to check in,

505
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: you need to balance maybe like a balance coach, balance coach.

506
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: I might take that. Want to trademark that you might

507
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: take that balance coach that That's good though, because that's

508
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 1: what we do. We're trying to keep everything in balance

509
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: for you, right, A little bit of this, a little

510
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: bit of that, Yeah, that's good. I like, yeah, you

511
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: don't want to take that, I'll give you credit. Yes,

512
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: I'll give you credit for that. So okay, um, we

513
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 1: have just a couple more a couple more questions. Let's

514
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 1: talk about how social media plays a role in our

515
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: mental health. We touched on it and Giselle kind of

516
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 1: was you know, she got something to say, we need

517
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 1: to take a little bit deeper because I think it

518
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: does you know, yes, for people like Giselle and I

519
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 1: who who are on a public platform, but I know

520
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,479
Speaker 1: that it affects the everyday person. Yes you know, yes, Okay, So,

521
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:29,199
Speaker 1: like I was saying pros and cons right, benefits of

522
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 1: social media community, right, some sort of like online support, um,

523
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: motivational messages, inspiration, things like that. Think about during COVID

524
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,959
Speaker 1: TikTok was our friend, like during quarantine, like the Internet

525
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: states undefeated, right, So like it provided comic relief and

526
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: such a stressful time, it was nice to just go

527
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: and see memes and do these TikTok challenges and things

528
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 1: like that, right, So social media can be our friend.

529
00:28:58,120 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: It could be nice, it could be a good thing.

530
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 1: Didn't get as many views as your tikto I'm not.

531
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: I'm glad because I was thinking about that. And then

532
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: there's also the issue of you're literally just looking at

533
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: filtered pictures of absolutely which can mess with your mind.

534
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: You know what your body looks like in a real

535
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 1: mirror with no filters, and then you're comparing yourself to

536
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: these images that you've seen all day that are perfect

537
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 1: and that's not reality. So like, how mentally are we

538
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: able to handle that well? I always say that to

539
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: take a break, you don't have to be on social

540
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: media all day. If you're on it and you're feeling

541
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: like this is not feeding my soul, this is not

542
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: making me happy, then take a break, or you know what,

543
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 1: start on following certain things. Sometimes you follow pages and

544
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 1: it's always cute for that moment, and then you're like,

545
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't I don't want to hear

546
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: about all this gossip. I don't want to hear about

547
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: what's going on, or even like when the police brutality

548
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,479
Speaker 1: stuff was happening, that's it's just too much, Like you're

549
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 1: allowed to say, this is too much. I I can't

550
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 1: deal with this right now. I'm shutting this down right

551
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 1: Or I also think it's okay to like see things

552
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: on social media and realize that, you know what, maybe

553
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: maybe not today. So let's just say, like Mother's Day

554
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: or Father's Day post what if you have a tumortuous

555
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: relationship with your parents or they're not here right, so

556
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: it's just like on that Sunday and Mother's Day, don't

557
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: don't don't do that to yourself, like pay attention to

558
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: what you actually need. It's not you being a hater.

559
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: It's not you like, oh, I don't want to hear

560
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: about all these No, just like it's okay. Or if

561
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't know if you're trying to conceive

562
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 1: and you're having trouble conceiving and all you're seeing all

563
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,239
Speaker 1: these baby posts, right, It's like that doesn't happen that

564
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 1: way where it's just like, how come all of a

565
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: sudden everybody but everybody's right COVID babies. Right. But it's like,

566
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 1: it's okay to say, you know what, I'm happy for

567
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 1: you and I'm also sad for me. You can have

568
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: two feelings at the same time. So is it okay

569
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: to just like straight up be selfish and and think

570
00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: about what you need as opposed to what everybody expects

571
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 1: of you. Yes, please be selfish. Selfish is not a

572
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 1: bad word. It's not a curse word. It's not a

573
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: bad word. And even when we're thinking about going to therapy,

574
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: that is one hour usually one hour to yourself, right

575
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: where you don't have to worry about I'm monopolizing this conversation.

576
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 1: I didn't ask how she was doing. You know, I

577
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 1: talked to my friends all the time, and it could

578
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 1: be like a two hour conversation because the first hour

579
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: is catch me up on your stuff. Okay, is it

580
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: my turn? Okay? Now, let's go. It's just like sometimes

581
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: you wanna be like, girl, let me tell you what happened.

582
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: But your therapist there, there's like it's all about you.

583
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: It's all about you. That's true. That's a great point

584
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 1: because there I feel like, you know, when you are

585
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: like sometimes with a group of friends, you know, it's like, Okay,

586
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna listen. I don't want it to be about me,

587
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: and then everyone else is talking, and then and then

588
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 1: it turns into like, well, you don't share nothing, you

589
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 1: don't think it's just like but but I'm like, but

590
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm listening you when me listening when we talk. And

591
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 1: then so I I always feel like I'm a listener,

592
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: Like I don't really not that I don't share, but

593
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: I recognize that other people maybe have the need to

594
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,719
Speaker 1: get something off their chest more than I do, you know.

595
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: But but then but then there are times when it's like,

596
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: well damn, I I didn't share anything, so right, yeah,

597
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: So so that is true. It's like, you know, even

598
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: if you have a great group group of friends or

599
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: support systems, sometimes you can't get it all out to

600
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: them because it's not enough time, or because you know,

601
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: people cut you off or whatever. Yeah, I like that.

602
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 1: And the social media like what about the people who

603
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: will like post a picture using like a fake background,

604
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: Like they'll like pretend like they're like traveling. Yes, Like

605
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 1: how do we get them to stop? I don't see

606
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 1: have you in their life that that is a little

607
00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 1: beyond what I do for my work. But um, but

608
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,479
Speaker 1: just acknowledging that too, right, acknowledging that this you know

609
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 1: what social media is like, come into it knowing this

610
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: is entertainment, this is what it's for. And yes, the

611
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: constantly comparing yourself and all that stuff, just be mindful

612
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: of like, like you said, it's filtered. People are only

613
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: showing their best life right there, living their best life

614
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 1: on social media, and just kind of keep that in

615
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 1: mind that no one's going to share. Well, some people are,

616
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 1: but most people don't share. I'm downtrodden, I'm going through. No,

617
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: they're gonna share the smiley face. They're gonna share. You know,

618
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm there, I'm jet setting knowing damn well,

619
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: maybe like their credit card is maxed out because they

620
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 1: can do this. Sraff b Right, we don't know, we

621
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 1: don't know that, we don't know what's behind the scenes right,

622
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 1: speaking of broke broke, Um, your therapists, we have we

623
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: have heard and we have found that a very expensive

624
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 1: out here in these streets. Glad that up. And you know,

625
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 1: earlier in this conversation you said that you're gonna get

626
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: to know the people that you are counseling. So you're

627
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: not gonna get into that business until like, I don't

628
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: know session four, and I didn't paid you for session one,

629
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: two and three. So, um, how you know for your

630
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 1: everyday person that you know might not be able to

631
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 1: afford you? Guys, you know, what do you say to that?

632
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 1: So people sometimes don't realize that your insurance most of

633
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 1: your insurance companies pay for therapy. Oh really, yeah, that

634
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: is I'm so glad you brought this up because this

635
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: is really a misconception. People are just like, so, how

636
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 1: does this work? I don't give us a range of

637
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: like our session all right? Now, everybody's different, right, and

638
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: somebody who's you know, counseling a real housewife might charge something,

639
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 1: you know, just kidding. Price people are different. Depends on

640
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: your level of credentials, It depends on where your market is.

641
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: New York probably charges more than Alabama. Right to give

642
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 1: to it, give us the range to the just. I

643
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: would say a hundred up to a hundred to two

644
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 1: hundred could be the rain for our session, which is

645
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 1: like an hour, which is like an hour. Now, think

646
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: about when you use health insurance, whatever plan you have,

647
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,360
Speaker 1: it's a copy. Anytime you see a specialist, your insurance

648
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 1: company pays, I don't know, eighty percent, you pay, twenty percent,

649
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 1: you come in, you pay your ten dollar copay. You

650
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: don't know where the rest of it go. Somebody is

651
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: paying these people. So are all of you all taking insurance?

652
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: Not all of us. So if you are, you know,

653
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: feeling like, oh this is steep, go through your insurance.

654
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: Find somebody who accepts your insurance. I did not know that.

655
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: I thought I was out of you know, I would

656
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 1: camp doesn't have to be and I would see that,

657
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: you know, when I when I had jobs and they

658
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: would send, um, you know, the packet of the health

659
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 1: insurance stuff, and I would see that in there. But

660
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 1: I just always felt like I don't need that, you

661
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: know what I mean? But I think, honestly, if it's

662
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: there and it's provided to you, and if you're someone

663
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: like me who thinks you don't need therapy because you're fine,

664
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 1: like still take a vantage of it. But it's it's

665
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: it's you should normally be in your regular just like

666
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: just you go to dermatologists, you go to the chiropract

667
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, like you just you use your

668
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: health insurance the same thing. So how often, I mean,

669
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: I guess it really varies based on what's going on,

670
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 1: and but like how frequently should people just say, for

671
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 1: someone like, you know, like just people feeling anxiety, they're stressed,

672
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: you know, how often do you think they should come

673
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:30,439
Speaker 1: to the most people their balanced coach? Most people start

674
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 1: once a week. That's kind of your typical forty five

675
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 1: to sixty minutes once a week. That's kind of typical

676
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 1: for most people. Sometimes though it's like like you said,

677
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: it's just kind of like I don't need to check in.

678
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 1: I just need to just you know, make sure that

679
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: I'm on the right path and I'm doing what I'm

680
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: supposed to be doing, you know, every two weeks. I

681
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,240
Speaker 1: have clients now that are like on maintenance so to speak,

682
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 1: and they started seeing me once a week and then

683
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,920
Speaker 1: it was like, okay, every other and it's like you're

684
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: doing pretty good, but you still kind of want me

685
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: around just in case. Once a month I had somebody

686
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: call the other days and be like, hey, I haven't

687
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:06,720
Speaker 1: seen you in a while. I'm like, are you doing okay?

688
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 1: Everything's fine? Okay, Sure, come on you want to chat? Sure,

689
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 1: that's what I'm gonna start doing what I'm going once

690
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 1: a month, really find somebody. I mean, I feel like

691
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: we're just gonna talk. You might as well, you might

692
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: learn something about yourself. I haven't. Right now, what about

693
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: like couples? I'm so glad. Okay, can I call you

694
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: answer that question. Let me just say this. I've been

695
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 1: in some major couples therapy, y'all. Don't just say to

696
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: tag you years and years of couples therapy and me

697
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: and that Jamal Bryant now listen, it always helped us. Yes,

698
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: you know, he is a is a I think he's

699
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 1: trained per his profession to counsel. Right. So I always

700
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 1: felt like, we can't just have a regular conversation if

701
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: we haven't a problem, because you know all the tricks,

702
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: so we need to go to somebody else. And and

703
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,839
Speaker 1: I was always just very happy because you know, he's

704
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 1: a black man. He was open to it. But it

705
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 1: always did push us to like another level. So I'm

706
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: an advocate of a couple of therapy. I just want

707
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 1: to say that, and I'll just share my experience. While

708
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: Want and I were married, or even before we got married,

709
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: he was like the typical black man that was like,

710
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,800
Speaker 1: I don't need anyone to tell me how to feel

711
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 1: or what to think or what to do. So I think,

712
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of times in a couple of

713
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: therapies there's a resistance from one partner that just thinks

714
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: like this cannot help this. They're like, I don't, like,

715
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: what can they tell me that I don't already know.

716
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 1: I'm glad you said that because no one's telling you

717
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 1: how to feel. I feel how you feel. I'm not

718
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: telling you how to feel. I might be exploring with

719
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: you what's behind that feeling? Where did that come from?

720
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 1: Even just basic communication, you think you're speaking the same language,

721
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 1: and it's just like, that's not what she said. Did

722
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: you hear what she said? Oh, that's not what he said.

723
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: So a couple of therapy, it's just like, can you

724
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 1: guys please start coming before you're about to divorce? Okay,

725
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 1: So I'm I just a little know I totally agree

726
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: with that, And I feel like, if you're gonna get married,

727
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 1: you should go before you get married, absolutely, because the

728
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: whole time y'all been dating, y'all have been talking the

729
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 1: same language. Yeah, y'all don't know what you'all talking about. Y'all.

730
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: It's always good to get like a third party or

731
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 1: like a bird's eye view on the relationship. And I

732
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: feel like, if you don't do that work in the beginning,

733
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 1: you damn sure you're gonna have to do it in

734
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,399
Speaker 1: the end or it's just gonna be over. I think

735
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 1: you're forced to talk about certain topics. Right. You could

736
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 1: be dating somebody for four years. I know him, I

737
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,479
Speaker 1: know him and met his mama, We went on vacation together,

738
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 1: I know how he travels. We talk about everything, and

739
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: it's just like, but there's that one thing that you're

740
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,959
Speaker 1: not really comfortable saying because it might rock the boat,

741
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 1: old or whatever the case. Maybe you come to therapy

742
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 1: and it's kind of like the therapist might just bring

743
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 1: it up and you're like, oh, I guess we've gotta

744
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 1: talk about it, right. So I'm definitely an advocate for

745
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 1: premarital um, But yeah, I feel like the same thing

746
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 1: when we're talking about, you know, when should people go

747
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: to therapy. It's like, please don't come when you're at

748
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 1: your wits end and your bag is packed and you

749
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 1: have one ft out the door. You're like, you know

750
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: what the last before I can just check off this

751
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: box to say I tried everything. Fine, let's go to

752
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: the therapist when they go. So when do they go?

753
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: You should again, you should go before you get married.

754
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 1: Because I am a therapist. I'm like, just go, just

755
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 1: go when you don't even have a problem, just go

756
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 1: to check in and be good. We're still good. Everything good,

757
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 1: You still like me, I still like you great? And

758
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: then you move on right, not saying it has to

759
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 1: be weakly, but if you're feeling like, you know, when

760
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 1: you can tell something's off right, you're you're not connecting

761
00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: as much. Maybe the intimacy has been affected it. You know,

762
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: there's a lot of change that has happened. Like you know,

763
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: when you feel a little bit off right, same thing

764
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: like with your health, you're like, you know what, something

765
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 1: just not right. So that's when you I'm gonna call

766
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: my doctor and see, like what's going on. Like I

767
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 1: feel like, for example, I just went to attrition this.

768
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 1: My something's not right. My blood sure goes up and

769
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 1: goes down. I have a headache. I don't like feeling

770
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 1: like this anymore. I don't like having a headache every day.

771
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but maybe you can

772
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: tell me what's going on. I'm not gonna wait till

773
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't get out the bed. I'm crawling

774
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 1: to the car, but I gotta take myself to the doctor.

775
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 1: It's like, no, like you start feeling like something not right,

776
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 1: but we need a little check in. We need maybe

777
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 1: sure this is still good so you can keep going

778
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: and things don't just fester right, Like how many couples

779
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 1: do you know where it's just like, yeah, I've been

780
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: dealing with this for years and I just didn't know

781
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: how to say it, or I've said it and this

782
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: person is not listening to me. It's just like, Wow,

783
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: I wonder if we had sat down and talked about

784
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:02,399
Speaker 1: this five years ago, could all of this been right?

785
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: And clearly, I'm sure the main issue that you see

786
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 1: is like the root cause of problems between couples communication

787
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: and so the therapist or the balance coach um helps

788
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 1: facilitate that communication. Yeah, so that's that's good. You know,

789
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,760
Speaker 1: I'll keep that in mind. You know, Robin's going to therapy.

790
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: But I'm just here to tell y'all before they walk

791
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: down the out for the second time. No, this this

792
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 1: is really good. So I feel like so that we're

793
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: gonna recap a little bit. This is what I've learned today. One,

794
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,720
Speaker 1: you can go through your insurance to get this thing paid.

795
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: So if you can go through your insurance, why wouldn't

796
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 1: you do it? Right? You know what I'm saying, Like,

797
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:45,280
Speaker 1: and as you said, it is kind of a no brainer.

798
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,240
Speaker 1: If you had a sore throat, your nose is running,

799
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: you're going to the doctor. So if you feel like

800
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: you you're waking up every morning and you're like in

801
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 1: a funk, don't nobody at work when to deal with

802
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 1: your funk? So get it together. And your friends don't

803
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 1: want to either. We love our friends, but you don't

804
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: want to be a burden to your friends either, because

805
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 1: your friends are busy, you know, have their own stuff, right,

806
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 1: And a lot of people hesitate to even talk to

807
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: their friends or their loved ones because they know she's busy.

808
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to bother her. So now, but okay,

809
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 1: so let's talk about then the process of finding a therapist.

810
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 1: And then I just want to Okay, yes, we it's

811
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 1: covered by insurance, but what about people who don't have

812
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: insurance too? Are there, like, you know, maybe some sort

813
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 1: of community resources that they can find. Absolutely, there's always

814
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 1: some sort of program in the community for people who

815
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 1: don't have insurance or some sort of um sliding scale fee.

816
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: You know, there are resources out there right. So psychology today,

817
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 1: for example, has a directory of providers where you can

818
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 1: filter by what your insurance is, or filter by if

819
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 1: you don't have insurance, or gender, or you know, it's

820
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 1: okay to have certain preferences. Therapy for black girls. I

821
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 1: think it's a good one. If you're looking specifically for

822
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 1: a therapist of called LERT what is that. They have

823
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: an i G page. They have a website. It's basically

824
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 1: a provider directory, so you can go on there to

825
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: say if you if you are a black girl, or

826
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: if you want to talk to a black girl, you

827
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 1: can go on there and locate someone. There are lots

828
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:18,279
Speaker 1: of resources. Again, we use to insurance for example, like

829
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 1: your insurance company will give you a list of providers

830
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 1: that they cover. UM so I have come across better

831
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: help dot Com, which I think is awesome because because

832
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 1: it's like a virtual balanced coaching, virtual therapy. Um, you

833
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 1: can do it, you know, I think by the telephone

834
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 1: or by a zoom or whatever your method of you know,

835
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,960
Speaker 1: preferred communication isn't I think that's kind of good for people,

836
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 1: you know, kind of like me, who I don't like

837
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 1: to leave the house. So for me, if if if

838
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, I'm gonna go to therapy, I'm like,

839
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I gotta leave the house and go

840
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 1: sit in the room. Blah blah blah blah. So I

841
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,800
Speaker 1: also think that's cool to find, um, you know, if

842
00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 1: that's what works for you, look up online therapy. Absolutely

843
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: because of COVID, a lot of us are doing telehealth,

844
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 1: a lot of us are doing virtual therapy. And I'm

845
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: so glad this kind of came out because obviously pandemic

846
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 1: was not a good thing, but I think it also

847
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: taught us we can do things in a different way. Right,

848
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: how many of us are now working promote because it's like, oh,

849
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: y'all can't work remote? Well, actually we can't because we

850
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 1: had too so we kind of figured that out. But

851
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 1: that's what we found. When I started the company. We

852
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,799
Speaker 1: got so many referrals because it was just like, you know,

853
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: especially living in this area, by the time you get

854
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 1: off the Metro and get in your car and all

855
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 1: this stuff, it's just like you're stressed out. You're stressed

856
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,919
Speaker 1: out right, But now it's like, Okay, I work out,

857
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,399
Speaker 1: you've got the anxiety. You know, I work nine to five.

858
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: I can log onto my virtual therapist right in the

859
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 1: comfort of my home. So, so are you doing telehealth?

860
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: I am doing telehealth? So we're doing both. Okay, So

861
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 1: I think you should you should tell people where they

862
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 1: if they say I want to talk to me or

863
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: to Paul, because I heard her on Reasonably Shady and

864
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: it sounds so balancing, so balancing. Well, I will say

865
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,800
Speaker 1: this because I am now a CEO and clinical director

866
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,839
Speaker 1: and all that good stuff. Thank you. I actually I don't.

867
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 1: I don't want any more clients. However, the what's she's saying,

868
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 1: She's saying she's busy. I'm a little busy. Now, I'm

869
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 1: a little busy. I'm a little busy. However, I have

870
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: an awesome team of therapists who work at my practice.

871
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 1: So how do they find your team. So we have

872
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:33,280
Speaker 1: an i G page at Soul Counseling, so all counseling.

873
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 1: We have a website and we can give you all

874
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:41,879
Speaker 1: the information www dot s o L Counseling and Consulting

875
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: dot com. Which my sister the d O O a

876
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 1: k A. Carly a k A. Robin's friend a k A.

877
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 1: Whatever she is that you know, particular day she she

878
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 1: built my website to go on to so she didn't

879
00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:01,520
Speaker 1: build a reasonably shading website. Well, jeeze, what is going

880
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 1: on here? Get yourself a sister, Like I do I

881
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 1: do want to talk about because you know, this kind

882
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 1: of blew me. I had a conversation with my kids,

883
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 1: and my kids are you know, high schoolers, they're in

884
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 1: between that fourteen to seventeen age range, and they're like, yeah,

885
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:23,839
Speaker 1: everybody in schools and therapy, like what are you talking about?

886
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 1: So apparently it COVID pandemic last year, being at home

887
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 1: going to school hit them all very very hard. Are

888
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: you seeing that with these kids and are they getting

889
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 1: better now that they're back in school? Are they feeling

890
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 1: are they still feeling overwhelmed? And I felt like they

891
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 1: were feeling isolated, you know, because they didn't have you know,

892
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:52,800
Speaker 1: we found clearly that they need social um outlet every day.

893
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 1: So what's going on with our teens? I think it's

894
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: like everyone, right, so you dealt with COVID either, just

895
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: to that now we're dealing with things are opening up,

896
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 1: we're back at work. Some of us were back at school,

897
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 1: so now we're dealing with adjusting to being back at school. Right.

898
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 1: So life is a constant adjustment, constant transition, which is

899
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 1: also shameless plug why it's okay to go to therapy

900
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 1: because maybe you were okay six months ago and then

901
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:23,839
Speaker 1: something shifted and now it's like I don't know how

902
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: to deal with that. So, um, I'm glad the teams

903
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,439
Speaker 1: are going. I'm glad they're opening up. I'm glad that,

904
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: you know, it's trending. Now. I'm glad with like athletes

905
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 1: like Simone Files and Naomi Osaka are talking about it

906
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: because they're young and so it's just like, okay, if

907
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 1: they're talking about it and they can do it, this

908
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 1: is okay and it doesn't have to be shameful. Right. So,

909
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 1: and I do want to say that, you know, I

910
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: when listening to my kids talk about you know, their

911
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: friends or whatever. I remember being that age and feeling

912
00:48:54,600 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: occasionally like off or depressed or anxious, over wound. Oh

913
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 1: my god, I felt my test you know, all kinds

914
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 1: of things that teams go through, hormones, all of that

915
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:09,359
Speaker 1: and and not. And I dare not share that with

916
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: my parents, right, Like, if I even thought to share that,

917
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 1: they would either tell me to kick rocks, get over it,

918
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 1: go to your room, you know what I mean? Like,

919
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: there was no way that I would feel comfortable sharing

920
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 1: it with anybody. So to know that at least these

921
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,479
Speaker 1: kids feel comfortable talking about it. They have each other,

922
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 1: they are all in it together, so to speak, is

923
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,879
Speaker 1: a great thing. And I think that we all have

924
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:41,359
Speaker 1: to be mindful that our brain, our mental stability, what

925
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: we think, how we feel is not taboo. It's not

926
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 1: for you to keep to yourself, like, we're all in

927
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 1: this thing called life together and find a therapist that

928
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 1: works for you. Right, We're all not these stuffy people

929
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 1: that are going to, you know, shake our finger at you. Like.

930
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,479
Speaker 1: There are a lot of really cool, down to earth,

931
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: relatable therapists. So it's it's nice that the kids have

932
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 1: someone to go to that might be, you know, a

933
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 1: cool down to earth person. It's not always going to

934
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 1: be some old old white men, right, old white men

935
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:15,280
Speaker 1: or worth therapist. That's what you see on TV for example,

936
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 1: you know. So it's just like, no, there are some

937
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: just really relatable, cool people that also have their stuff

938
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 1: going on to that can relate to you, but also

939
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 1: have the training to deal with whatever you're coming in with.

940
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: I definitely relate to you, justl just I remember being

941
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 1: a teenager and just being like mad for no reason,

942
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:37,359
Speaker 1: like like just then I'd be like why am my mad?

943
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 1: Like why am I feeling like this? And there's like no, like,

944
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's hormones. Really, it's hormones. It's the

945
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,799
Speaker 1: changing in your body and your mind and just so

946
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,839
Speaker 1: much going on. And so I think it is so

947
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: important for parents to be in tune to that with

948
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 1: their kids and not get so like, you know, thinking

949
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: that there's something wrong with them, but realized like they're

950
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 1: going through big changes in life for them, it's a

951
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: big change. You get defensive, what's wrong with you? Right?

952
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 1: We have we have everything you need? You have this house,

953
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 1: you know, you go school, what else what else you need?

954
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 1: It's like there are other things going on yesterday, right exactly, exactly, Yes,

955
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 1: that's important. We could talk about this, I think, for

956
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 1: you know, a whole another five minutes or so. But um,

957
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,760
Speaker 1: this has been a great conversation. Do you have anything

958
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: else you want to close with or at or just

959
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:28,000
Speaker 1: kind of going back to the misconceptions. I just also

960
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:29,799
Speaker 1: want to put out there that you know, going to

961
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:33,359
Speaker 1: therapy is not advice giving. It's not like you come

962
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 1: to me and then I say, Giselle, this is what

963
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 1: you should do, Now go ahead and do it. That's

964
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 1: not really what it's about. It's about exploring what's going on,

965
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: you know, helping you figure out what is going to

966
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:46,280
Speaker 1: be the best choice for you. And if you decide

967
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: to do something that I don't necessarily agree with, that's okay.

968
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: We're gonna walk you through it, and I'm not going

969
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: to judge you for it, and I'll be here tomorrow

970
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 1: when you cry to say that, oh my gosh, shouldn't

971
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 1: have done that. That's what we're here for. Are you?

972
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 1: Can you prescribe medication? So I'm glad you asked that.

973
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 1: Everybody has a different like, what do you you know? Soiatrists?

974
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 1: Psychiatrists prescribes medication? Their actual medical doctors. Therapists do not

975
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 1: prescribe medication. We do talk therapy. Most psychiatrists don't do therapy.

976
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,400
Speaker 1: You come in, you have a check in, how the

977
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 1: meds working for you? You're good, any side effects? Good

978
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: to see you. I'll see you in a month. Got it.

979
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: And I think, and you know, I think that's so

980
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 1: important for people to know the difference with that because

981
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 1: I think when they think therapy or mental health, they're

982
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 1: thinking medication and it's all the same. Were two different people. Okay,

983
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:41,880
Speaker 1: that's important. Um. And this is my last little bone

984
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: to pick with our people. Okay, black people. We know

985
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 1: we love our people. Okay, seriously, guys like we the

986
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 1: worst because we think that therapy is is for not

987
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,720
Speaker 1: for us. You know, we were taught and we're built

988
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: to be so strong to get over it, to keep

989
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 1: it moving, to not even deal with the day. You

990
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 1: gotta look for tomorrow. So like, no, we gotta stop

991
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 1: doing that. We gotta stop doing that to ourselves. We

992
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 1: got stop doing that to our children. It is okay

993
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,480
Speaker 1: to take a time out and make sure that you

994
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,359
Speaker 1: get your mind right. Grandma said get your mine right,

995
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 1: and she really meant it. What's called therapy. That behavior

996
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 1: of self sabotage. It really is to like think like

997
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 1: I'm tough, I got this, I don't need, you know,

998
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:29,919
Speaker 1: and to talk to anyone, and I'm gonna keep it moving.

999
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: And then you're just bottling up all of the emotions

1000
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 1: and the anxiety, stress and not learning any tools of

1001
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 1: how to deal with it. It's okay that you have

1002
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 1: these feelings, you are valid in that, but tell me

1003
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 1: how to deal with this, right, all right? Well, I

1004
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: hope somebody listening, more than one person has learned something

1005
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 1: and it's motivated and you know, encouraged to go to therapy,

1006
00:53:54,440 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: seek out a therapist, a balance coach, um, and you know,

1007
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 1: and hopefully just just you know, I don't know, I

1008
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 1: don't know. Is it like getting clarity or it as

1009
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,360
Speaker 1: sometimes getting clarity? It is sometimes getting clarity. I'm so

1010
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 1: glad that you mentioned black people because you know, that

1011
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 1: really is like what I said in my bio, right,

1012
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 1: it's it's it's about reducing that stigma and making it comfortable.

1013
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,840
Speaker 1: And that's where I mentioned therapy for black girls for example,

1014
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: or you know my you know, my team, we're all

1015
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:24,399
Speaker 1: of color, right, So it's like if you want someone

1016
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 1: that looks like you, if you want someone that maybe

1017
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: has a little bit of understanding about your background, you

1018
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,240
Speaker 1: can do that. If that's not for you, that's okay too.

1019
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:36,879
Speaker 1: But let's have more of more therapists that look like us,

1020
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 1: and that way it makes it a little bit more

1021
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:41,399
Speaker 1: comfortable and that it's okay. You don't have to keep

1022
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 1: everything inside or everything in your house, or just feel

1023
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 1: like you can only talk about it with you know,

1024
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 1: your pastor you know, shout out to the church. But

1025
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: there are other resources out there besides that. Well, we

1026
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 1: love you, and we thank you so much for stopping by.

1027
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:59,799
Speaker 1: We've learned so much, not only about therapy and you,

1028
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:03,720
Speaker 1: but about our d o O over there, our director

1029
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 1: of operations, because she has not done anything for us

1030
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 1: that she has done for you. But anyway, that's for

1031
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:13,839
Speaker 1: a whole another episode. This is our reasonably Shady episode,

1032
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 1: and uh, throughout the course of your week, just find

1033
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 1: a little reasonable and find a little shady. We love

1034
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 1: y'all so much. Next week. Reasonably Shady is a production

1035
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:32,440
Speaker 1: of the Black Affect podcast Network. For more podcasts from

1036
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 1: our Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app Apple

1037
00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 1: podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and

1038
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,399
Speaker 1: you can connect with us on social media at Robin

1039
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:49,240
Speaker 1: Dixon ten, Giselle, briant and reasonably shady