WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: I’m Developing a Crush on a Married man...But Hear Me Out 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:05.840 Hey, navy girl, a long time listener, I had like 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:09.600 a two carter question. So right now I am twenty 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:12.119 five and I am a virgeon. I know, and I 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:15.200 will can change the show, but I think I want 0:00:15.200 --> 0:00:17.720 to change it for you any hits now and all 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:19.920 film because I am twenty five young. 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:23.120 Admit I kind of want to know where this niggas at. 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:24.720 How to get shipped out of fly out. 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:27.640 I know that you're in additional space now of loving 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:30.520 and companionships and wanting niggas to take off the trash, 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:33.519 But how do I do that thing that you were 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:35.840 having and you were twenty five, like the fly outs 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:38.320 the middle of page, because right now a bro is 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:41.480 working and I'm not really trying to that hard. 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:44.360 All right, thank you so much, And yeah you go 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:47.960 in horrible y'all. 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:50.680 Now this is this is crazy. By the way, it's 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:53.120 fine that virgins listen to us. We talk a lot 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:55.840 more than just sex. And it's entertainment, you. 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:56.360 Know what I mean. 0:00:56.480 --> 0:01:01.080 Like I watch movies, you know where niggas is jumping 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:03.120 out of planes and ain't never jumped out of a plane. 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:06.200 If I like, it's fine, this is entertainment. 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:11.840 Okay, So two part question, and I'm gonna break it 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.280 into two parts, because first off, I want to talk 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.479 to you about being twenty five and being a virgin. 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:22.399 You said you want to change being a virgin. That's 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:26.440 the first part. I think the word intentional is going 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:30.520 to be used here as well. However, I want to 0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:34.560 just tell you and and ladies listen and please let 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:35.720 me know in the comments. 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:36.320 If I'm being too harsh. 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:41.800 I don't think there's a right or perfect way to 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:42.720 lose your virginity. 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:48.040 It could be with a longtime boyfriend, but then maybe 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:50.120 y'all break up. It could be with a long. 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:53.600 Standing crush like my first was my grade school crush, 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:56.120 and I was bright in his hair and then he 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:58.360 ended up getting inside of me while my mama was 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:03.480 at why crazy. I don't think there's a perfect way 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:08.560 to lose it. However, I think as a woman with 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:11.120 the choice and knowing as much as we know now, 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:14.040 with consent and all those things, I would just say, 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:20.960 when you are ready to make it the most damn 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:22.960 that word intentional, bitch. I'm about to look up at 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:25.800 the source for another word intentional, but I think it 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:27.520 needs to be discussed with the person. 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:29.200 I think that you need. 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.400 To make sure that they are aware that this is 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:35.000 your first time, and hopefully they're loving and caring and 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:41.320 show you that grace that is I think oftentimes stripped 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:45.720 from women in giving up their virginity to a man. 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:50.200 And don't feel the pressure. I mean, I know you 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:52.680 listen to the show. I know you hear Hella. People 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.760 having fun and sex is amazing. Girl. 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.359 The first couple years of sexy, I was just figured 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:00.720 it out. 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:03.240 I don't know, if I look back, I wasn't having 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:05.600 great sex. So just know it is going to take 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:08.720 you a while to learn yourself, your body, what you like, 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:14.120 what you don't like, being comfortable, being secure, not worrying 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:16.480 about if one titty. 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.520 Is over here and the other is down there, or. 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:22.040 How you how how your role may look to them, 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:25.760 or I'm not gonna lie. There's so many things that 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:30.560 aren't discussed about giving your body and yourself to someone 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:33.799 else in the moment that it's It's just gonna take 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:35.560 some time. So, like I said, I would say, be 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:38.040 intentional and make sure the person that you give this 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:42.240 part of you too is not only deserving, but is 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:44.839 aware that this is what this moment. 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:47.560 Is and hopefully they're a partner. 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:52.040 I don't believe you are in a relationship because if 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.520 the second part of this question, now the second part 0:03:54.560 --> 0:04:01.880 of this question. So this was my hardest chapter two 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:07.920 write in our book. This is the part of the 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:14.640 podcast that I have the most shame. This is the 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:21.640 topic of discussion that took Wheezy and I close to 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:27.400 a year to even agree on this book for because 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:31.440 she felt that it would be contradictory to the brand 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:32.360 of horrible. 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:33.240 Decisions to have shame. 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:37.960 And I was like, no, bro, I'm in therapy and 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:41.159 I'm realizing this. 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:42.080 This is tough for me. 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:46.039 Like I was out hell fucking for the five hondo, 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:49.599 for a stack, for a pair of genus, for the 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:56.880 cost of a tomahawk statement like and I knowing now 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:01.440 my my self worth my value, and like that, I 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:09.120 am upset a bit at this letter asking from a 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:14.440 virgin not only how to lose their virginity, but in 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:17.960 the same breath, how to be a prostitute. And that's 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:21.360 essentially what this is. That's essentially what I was doing. 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:25.000 I was involving myself in a form of sex work 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:28.480 by using my body as a form of currency. 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:30.960 In exchange for flights in exchange for money, in. 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:39.920 Exchange for moments, and in becoming someone of a value 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:43.000 who's busted her ass to do and be able to 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:43.880 live how she wants. 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:47.239 To know that I have purchased a pair of genes. 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.719 That is hanging in my closet that I ain't even 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:54.520 worn yet because that money meant nothing, and to know 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:57.840 that that was the price tag on my pussy at 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:00.479 one point is crazy. 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:06.680 This I've reworked. I don't think you guys realize that. 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:09.560 In this book coming up, I have a chapter on 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:14.800 sexual assault, on abortion, on my ex on. 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:16.919 There's a lot of deep. 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:21.480 Trauma that I put into this book, and this topic. 0:06:22.839 --> 0:06:24.120 Brought the most tears. 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:27.400 Was the very last chapter for me to write, because 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.120 as I would go and start writing it, I would 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:32.960 feel shamed, like I was full of shame. I'm still 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:39.560 currently working past what my twenties was and what sex 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:43.080 was for me and what that relationship with men entailed, 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:48.839 And so at thirty three, I'm not going to advise 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:51.640 any woman to be out here. 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.120 Selling couchie if they don't have to. Like I was. 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:57.120 I was. 0:06:57.440 --> 0:07:01.359 It was survival sex for me, and I definitely spoke 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:05.039 about it. On this podcast, like it was lavish, Like bitch, 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:05.960 if my nigga ain't. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:07.400 Dropping no bag, he ain't. 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:13.040 But really, Mitch, I had bills to bay, and between 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:16.120 all the jobs I was working and my fucking Sally 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.800 May loans and financial aid, I was making it. 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:21.520 And I use. 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:24.560 That as a form to just fucking make it and 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:27.000 looking back at it now and having a different view 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:31.000 on what money is or what that comma looks like, 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:35.360 or the difference between a thousand and ten thousand and 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:38.760 ten thousand and fifty thousand and like I've made in 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:42.000 one weekend what back in my twenties took me a 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:45.480 year to make working forty hour weeks, and so like 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:48.640 just my mind has changed on what that looks like. 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:50.440 My mind on sex has changed. 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:54.560 My mind on intimacy and the importance of affection and 0:07:54.600 --> 0:08:00.320 connection with a person has changed. And so this is 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:04.240 actually where we have tons of sex workers come on 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:07.360 the podcast and talk about their journey. My only advice 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:09.840 for you would be to listen back to those episodes. 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:15.440 I am not in a place where I condone a 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:18.560 woman doing it just to pay bills and blown out. 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:22.440 Get you a man with money who values you, who 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:25.600 wants you to see the world. That's what I would say, 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.680 be intentional with maybe the caliber of men that you 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:33.800 choose to date or who pursues you, and in doing so, 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:36.880 let them know you're seeking affection, you're seeking love, You're 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:39.800 seeking someone who cares for you and you'd love to 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:43.160 see the world. I think a man that loves and 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:46.280 values you or really fucks with you wants to make 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:49.280 you happy. So if the things you want are assistance 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:52.880 with bills or to go to an island you've never 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:56.440 been to, the way to do that is to vocalize 0:08:56.480 --> 0:09:00.760 that in a healthy relationship, in a setting with a 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:02.400 man that wants nothing. 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:03.760 To do but to put a smile on your face. 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:07.439 You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon, 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:10.200 But why it's up there? Tap in for the full, 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:14.200 uncut and way nastier episodes over on Patreon. Go to 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:18.920 patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy, 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:24.120 t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:26.800 And now here's You've got decision. 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:30.040 If you would like to have us answer your questions. 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:33.560 If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend or 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:38.600 a terrible throatful guess what You've got decisions. 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:45.280 You've got decisions, baby. Hey, guys, welcome to another you 0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:48.440 got decisions on a motherfucking hump day. 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.319 And actually, let me look, this is the hump day. 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:53.920 Right before Krema. 0:09:54.600 --> 0:10:00.160 So Marry Christmas Eve, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy be 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:06.720 Holidays to the Whorehive and everybody else tuned in hope 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:10.880 that you guys are enjoying your holidays, enjoying your family 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:13.839 and baby, enjoying your time off. 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.960 If you have it off. If you want to. 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:22.560 See what I'm doing, I am currently ocean side and 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:26.520 curous out because that's what you get when you don't. 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:27.480 Got the kids. 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:32.160 Okay, it is the end of the year, and we 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.680 are so grateful that you guys have rocked with us 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.640 and enjoyed all of our new content, our name change, 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:41.600 our rebrand, our New York Times bestselling book this year. 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:45.800 And it has been a fucking roller coaster in twenty 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:49.680 twenty five. And so what I wanted to make sure 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:51.680 I brought to you this week for the you Got 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:58.280 Decisions is some chaos, some drama, a reminder that even 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:00.280 though it's the end of the year, y'all are going 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.760 going into the new year still with. 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:05.680 Some bullshit on some bullshit and not really knowing how 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:06.400 to navigate it. 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:09.439 I think it's funny because this is normally the time 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:11.840 of year where you be like, new Year next week, 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:18.000 knew me. No, girl, you can't change it that quick, No, sire, 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:19.880 you still gonna be the fuck nigga you've been in 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:23.800 twenty twenty five. Although we hope that you guys want 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:27.760 better for yourselves now, Weezy is not doing this with 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:31.640 me today because maybe our schedules. I was just like, 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:35.960 let me get this out, and this one specifically, I 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:40.520 felt like, you know, it's talking about developing a crush 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:43.679 for a married man, and well, I've been getting dragged 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:47.120 all week for being honest about my stint of dealing 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:50.800 with married men, and so I was like, fuck it, 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:52.920 let me answer this shit while these niggas in my 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:56.320 motherfucking comments saying all the bullshit that they can about me. 0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:59.480 By the way, if you want to listen to me 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:02.559 talk about that recently and why I will no longer 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:04.920 deal with a married man, go check out my interview 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:09.960 on Love and Fly Shit podcast. Anyways, really excited to 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:13.320 get into this letter this week. Hopefully again you guys 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:16.000 are joining enjoying your time off or if you're at 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:19.280 the office, Here we go constantly giving you pul says 0:12:19.360 --> 0:12:20.280 holds some content. 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:22.679 Now here we go. 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:28.280 By the way, we received this message just last week, 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:28.920 so this is. 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:29.960 A new dilemma. 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:33.640 The subject line reads, I'm developing a crush on a 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:39.240 married man. But hear me out, longtime listener and patron 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.800 living in fos seven Choppa City. Brah blah brah, love 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.640 y'all down. Okay, So I recently met this guy on 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:50.959 a store run. He was super handsome, had an accent, six' 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:55.880 three and a beautiful. Smile he asked me for my 0:12:56.000 --> 0:13:00.720 number AND i said. Yes we started talking regularly. Instantly 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:03.560 it was as if SOMEONE i knew for a, while 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:06.560 even though we just. Met we went on a couple 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:10.360 of dates and On thanksgiving night we fucked and it was, 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:18.760 amazing like, freaky, nasty, spanking spitting dirty talk all over my, body, 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.800 kisses choked me WHILE i was giving head a personal, 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:25.520 frave and he ate my pussy off the bone hashtag. 0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:30.160 Tenderism so after that we run it back the next day, 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:33.400 too but after that next day he tells me has 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:34.440 something to tell. 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:38.880 Me my stomach drops and he said he's. 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:43.360 Married, like damn, Nigga Now i'm already hooked on the. 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.800 Dick he, explained when he moved To america from The, 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:50.240 bahamas he got in some legal, troubles so to avoid, 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:58.000 deportation he got. Married, Okay i'm gonna have to look 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:01.640 this up on CHAT, gpt but here me out because 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:03.360 deported to The. 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:08.520 Bahamas, Okay i'm gonna. Okay he, said. 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:12.200 They both do their quote unquote own thing and they 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.959 don't have. Sex, however he kind of loved it at. 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:20.320 That now my immediate reaction, was what the? FUCK i 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:22.040 don't know HOW i feel about being a side. 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:23.440 Chick but after. 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.760 Talking to my, homegirl she was, like, Girl caribbean niggas 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:30.080 have green cards marriages all the, time especially here In. 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:34.000 Florida not gonna, Lie she rationalized it enough for. 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:37.600 Me we still, fuck but he never spends the, night 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:41.320 WHICH i want him, to especially after being. Intimate we 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.920 go out in public a, lot and he's publicly affectionate towards, 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:48.320 me but still having this nagging. Suspicion he's left some 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:51.720 pieces of this story out and Now i'm starting to 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:53.800 like this man a little bit more than just. 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:56.240 SEX i know it won't be anything. 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.800 Serious i've already accepted that AND i don't want that. 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:03.720 Either but SHOULD i just cut this off or play 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:08.520 my role and? Compartmentalize oh, baby we got some things 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:13.360 to break down. Here first, Off i'm going to my 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:19.280 husband going to check spinning a couple purified water droplets 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:24.640 on researching. This do you need a green card if 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:30.880 you're from The? Bahamas and can you be deported back 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:33.320 to The? Bahamas, Now i'm only asking this because The 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:40.600 bahamas IS i believe it's An american, Territory like you 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:46.640 can get to The bahamas without a passport to my, 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:50.800 knowledge and SO i want to check. That but before 0:15:50.840 --> 0:16:00.800 while it looks that, up let's get into your other. 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:05.440 DILEMMA i do feel like you're lying to, yourself first, 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:07.240 off and let's get into. That hold, On i'm going 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.400 to ask my other check because one on my computer 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:09.680 run is. 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.160 Slow because it's. 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.400 Also interesting light NIGGA youa, yeah we'll, see. 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:20.000 Okay so let's get into WHERE i feel like you 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:20.840 are lying to. 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:25.680 Yourself first, off you have expressed how you are liking 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:29.600 him more than. Sex you literally admit that to, me 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:32.640 but then in the very next sentence, SAY i know 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:37.480 it won't be anything. Serious, however leading up to what 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:41.920 your friend said and what you're agreeing to is that 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.760 it's possible that he's not really in a marriage where 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:50.440 he is emotionally bounded to this, wife and so technically 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.640 it could be something serious as long as you don't 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:57.160 mind him legally being married to someone else only for 0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:02.600 a quote unquote. Card you're also saying that you don't 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:03.400 want anything. 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:09.000 More, however you like him more than. Sex make it makes? 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:11.680 Sense the math ain't, mathing AND i feel like you're 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:16.280 trying to make something like fit in your brain to 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:17.720 just continue seeing this. 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:24.720 Person Now here we, go and, girl the internet is your. 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.439 Friend when a nigga tell you something and you just 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:30.960 feel like you're missing some, things, girl get your ass 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:37.320 on the. Internet here's the thing you. Ready you do 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:43.440 not need A us green card if you Have bahamian immigration. 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:47.200 Status? Okay? 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:53.040 Interesting apparently it, says hold, on do you need a 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:53.639 green card for The? 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.800 Bahamas But i'll here we? Go can you be? DEPORTED 0:17:58.080 --> 0:17:59.200 i THINK i asked this question. 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:07.959 Wrong can you live in the us as a behave 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:13.320 mean citizen and can you be deported because this is 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:20.439 like if you, TRAVELING i just want to See, Okay, 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:23.000 okay okay, Girl, okay, okay he might Be, okay it's. 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:23.480 True it's. 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:29.199 True A bahamian citizen does need a green, card and 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:31.960 of course you become a permanent resident with the green 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:37.159 card through family, sponsorship, employment, marriage or certain other. Categories, okay, 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:43.040 okay so, bitch, listen y'all know geography is not my strongest. 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:47.640 Suit, okay so very. 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:53.640 True here's my, thing here's my, thing and here's where 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:57.679 you have to make it make. Sense this man said 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:02.120 that he doesn't have sex with his, wife and they're 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:06.399 also able to do their own. Thing, however red flag 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:11.360 here is that he doesn't spend the night if they 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:15.080 are in this marriage. 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:15.159 Only for his green. 0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:21.080 Card explain to me why he doesn't have the autonomy 0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:24.760 to spend the night at your house if they're both 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:28.280 quote unquote doing their own. THING i think what you 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:32.800 should do is inquire about, that because WHAT i do 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:35.560 feel like you're getting here is the short end of the. 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:39.520 Stick if you're saying that you would like him to 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:42.800 spend the, night because you would like to spend more 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:48.000 time with, him especially after being. Intimate you're accepting just 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:51.800 the going out in public and public affection without the 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:57.520 private affection in terms of. Him, actually you, KNOW i 0:19:57.520 --> 0:19:59.200 guess sleeping with you after? 0:19:59.320 --> 0:19:59.880 Y'all fuck? 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:06.000 Now Who your question, is SHOULD i cut this off 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:07.119 or play my role and? 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:10.920 Compartmentalize and this is where in going into. 0:20:10.680 --> 0:20:14.680 Twenty twenty five and going into twenty twenty, six any 0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:19.639 twenty twenty, FIVE i truly think that you have to 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:20.640 go into. 0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:25.480 What do you? Want what do you? 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:29.000 Want and what this sounds like is you would like, 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:32.480 More you really like this, person you would like a, 0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:36.840 relationship but you've also already told yourself that you've accepted. 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:37.400 That it won't be anything. 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:41.480 More will you be fulfilled with what it is right? 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:46.360 Now with no milestones to reach of this going? Beyond 0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:51.320 how how well are you with wasting your? Time because 0:20:51.359 --> 0:20:53.240 if you are looking for something, more if you are 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:57.360 looking for a, family if you are looking to be 0:20:57.400 --> 0:21:02.600 in a committed exclusive, relationlationship if you're looking to potentially 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:09.560 get married one, day how how much of your time 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:12.439 do you care that you waste with this? Man and 0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:16.400 that's the compartmentalization of it all? Right is this man 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:18.920 open to you doing your own thing outside of? Him 0:21:19.480 --> 0:21:23.120 has that been a, Conversation what has been the conversation 0:21:23.280 --> 0:21:24.760 around whether he could spend the night or. 0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:26.919 NOT i think for as. 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:29.879 Much as you have been talking to, HIM i think 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:33.000 it's interesting how long it took you to find out his, 0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:35.240 marriage which means there could be a lot of other 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:35.680 things you. 0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:36.359 Don't know about this. 0:21:36.440 --> 0:21:39.960 MAN i think you could be dick blinded right. Now 0:21:40.520 --> 0:21:44.320 dick blinded is a thing you gave me almost three 0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:48.280 lines of what he did to you in that. Bedroom 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:52.600 bit you, throwed bit you ha throwed over the, Deck 0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:56.520 and SO i think you have to actually sit with. 0:21:56.560 --> 0:21:59.840 Yourself AND i think any woman listening to this you 0:22:00.400 --> 0:22:03.960 catch yourself in at a crossroad with if you need 0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:07.879 to compartmentalize your emotions and feelings and the time you 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.760 get with a man to feel like you're okay with, 0:22:10.840 --> 0:22:13.639 it are you really and is this what you? 0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:17.080 WANT i think for the clip that's been. 0:22:16.920 --> 0:22:20.439 Going viral lately about me admitting to be in a 0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:24.240 side chick in my, TWENTIES i THINK i decided to 0:22:24.240 --> 0:22:28.000 sit with, myself love myself first and decide WHAT i 0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:30.480 would and wouldn't accept from a. Man and to, me 0:22:30.800 --> 0:22:36.080 if you're wanting something that you can't, get you're. Settling 0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:38.400 and is this the man you want to settle, with 0:22:39.400 --> 0:22:42.919 because essentially you're not gonna get anything more than probably 0:22:43.000 --> 0:22:43.840 what you're getting now with? 0:22:43.960 --> 0:22:47.040 Him? Right would you be okay. 0:22:46.680 --> 0:22:50.320 With this relationship if he starts spending the night with? 0:22:50.400 --> 0:22:53.840 You because then what else would you want after? That 0:22:54.240 --> 0:22:57.720 is it only the not spending the? Night are you 0:22:57.760 --> 0:23:01.120 asking him about how often you talking to him about 0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:03.040 what his relationship with his wife looks? 0:23:03.080 --> 0:23:06.159 Like? Mitch why you can't spend the night if y'all not? 0:23:06.240 --> 0:23:08.040 Together Like there's just. 0:23:08.040 --> 0:23:10.879 So many questions THAT i honestly feel like you're so 0:23:11.000 --> 0:23:13.280 scared to ask because you do like him so. Much 0:23:13.800 --> 0:23:16.160 and of, course as, women we fear that if we 0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:18.560 ask somebody for too much that they're gonna leave. 0:23:18.600 --> 0:23:20.320 Us is that a fear that you? 0:23:20.440 --> 0:23:25.359 Have in twenty twenty, SIX i want women in these 0:23:25.480 --> 0:23:31.360 complicated situationships to ask themselves how safe they really feel 0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:34.879 with being with this. Person cool you safe enough for 0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:37.679 him to eat yo pussy off the? Bone but are 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:41.919 you safe enough with him to question and ask for 0:23:42.240 --> 0:23:45.280 the actual things that you want in the relationship because 0:23:45.280 --> 0:23:47.920 if you, can't this man doesn't make you really feel. 0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:50.760 Safe the fact that you're, asking SHOULD i cut him 0:23:50.800 --> 0:23:55.200 off or play my role and? Compartmentalize are you willing 0:23:55.240 --> 0:23:56.080 to play the side chick? 0:23:56.200 --> 0:23:57.920