WEBVTT - Carla Stickler: Defying Broadway and the Leap to Software Engineering 0:00:00.640 --> 0:00:03.880 This episode of She Pivots is brought to you by 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:08.080 the House of Chanelle. 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To learn more about the line, 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:51.320 visit Chanell dot com. 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:56.680 Maybe if I give them every single thing in my 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:59.200 body this time, they'll see how much I care and 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:01.560 how talented I am, and how worthy I am of 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:05.839 her role. And it's just this constant like seeking validation 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:09.880 from somebody else instead of like finding validation within yourself. 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:19.679 Welcome to she Pivots, the podcast where we talk with 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:23.000 women who dared to pivot out of one career and 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:27.440 into something new, and explore how their personal lives impacted 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:37.000 these decisions. I'm your host, Emily Tish Sussman. I'm thrilled 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:40.120 today to be sitting down with Carla Stickler. And you 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:42.520 might know who she is if you're a Broadway fan 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:45.880 like me. She played the role of Alphaba in the 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:49.920 famous musical Wicked, and after years of being in the ensemble, 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:54.040 touring and playing the lead role, Carla decided to leave 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:59.920 it all behind and transition into tech. And like me, 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:04.400 Carla's pivots have been full of waivers. She returned back 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:07.320 to Broadway when they needed her the most, at the 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:11.880 height of COVID. Throughout this episode, we'll explore how Carla 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:15.280 weaves in and out a feeling like she was in 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:19.000 control of her power. Carla talks about the ups and 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:21.920 downs of working in an industry where you're always striving 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:26.080 for validation, and her ongoing struggle to fully pivot away 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:29.360 from the thing that she loved for so many years, 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:33.959 and the thing I identify with most that even if 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:39.960 you love what you do, it can still burn you out. 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:45.120 My name is Carla Stickler. I am a software engineer, 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:47.640 but I was also an actor for a very long time. 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:50.320 Did you always think that you were going to be 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:51.600 an actor? Yes. 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:56.040 Mostly. My family is really really in the arts. My 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:59.160 mother is a pianist, and my grandmother was an opera singer. 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:03.119 My grandpa was like a violinist and a graphic designer 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:05.600 and related to Gene group of somewhere down there anyway. 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.240 So music and all that was always in my family, 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:09.839 and so I kind of always knew I was going 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:12.840 to be in that world. I sang a lot. I 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:15.240 wanted to act just because it went along with singing. 0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:17.160 I felt like if I was going to be the 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:18.880 best singer that there was, I had to also be 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:20.639 a really good actor. But I really wanted to be 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:24.160 an opera singer. That was kind of my first passion. 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:26.919 I wanted to be like my grandmother was like, she's awesome. 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:29.240 My grandmother had like this giant thing of red hair, 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:31.720 and she was such a diva, and she wore like 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:35.000 these glamorous clothes, and she had this beautiful voice studio 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:37.000 downtown Chicago. And I was like, I want to be 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:39.440 just like her. She's amazing. And then I ended up 0:03:39.440 --> 0:03:42.920 having vocal surgery on my vocal cords. I was at 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:45.760 Cincinnati Conservatory of Music and I was studying opera and 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:47.120 I was like, I'm gonna be an opera singer. This 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:50.720 is my dream. And I was having some trouble singing 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:53.280 and my teacher was like, go to New York. Go 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:55.800 see this guy. He's incredible. He will look at your 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.040 vocal courts and I'll tell you what's wrong. And immediately 0:03:58.040 --> 0:03:59.240 he's like, you have a cyst. 0:03:59.480 --> 0:03:59.960 I can remember. 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:02.440 So I had surgery and then I just like a 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.760 good nineteen year old, panicked and didn't know what I 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:06.960 was doing. And I was like, maybe I shouldn't be 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:09.040 an opera singer. The doctor was like, you may not 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:12.000 be able to sustain really high long notes for a 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:13.920 long time. Because that was it. I was like a Sobrano. 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:15.760 I was like a coloratura. I wanted to be like 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:18.120 Natalie to say, for those who don't know Natalie, to say, 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:20.200 go look her up. She's incredible, sings in like five 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:22.560 in chiels on her back, high notes, incredible opera singer. 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:24.800 But I was like, oh my gosh, if I can't 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:26.520 do that, well, then I can't. I'm not going to 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:28.200 do this. So I was like, well, then who am 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:29.960 I if I can't be an opera singer. Who am I? 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.160 And I dropped out of school and I worked in 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:35.280 a deli in Chicago for a semester. I was like, okay, well, 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:39.920 my boyfriend goes to NYU and I like NYU and 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:41.960 I want to be an actor. I could just be 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:44.640 an actor. That's the next thing, right, because acting singing 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:47.840 same thing. They're just performing. So I transferred n YU. 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:49.800 I guess if we're going to get into pivots. That 0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:50.600 was my first pivot. 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:56.599 So she studied theater, leaving her singing aspirations behind until 0:04:56.640 --> 0:05:00.000 one day a professor suggested that she should explore musical theater, 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:03.680 the perfect combination of her love for theater and her 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:06.040 singing background, and so. 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:08.039 I was like, great, I will learn. I learned a 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:10.479 belt and that was kind of it. Like I that 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:12.800 was like going into my senior year of college where 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:15.080 I kind of figured out, oh, I'm really good at that. 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:17.880 Do you remember if there was like a song that 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.680 you just connected with and you're like, wow, my voice 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:22.440 can do that. Jason R. 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:25.520 Brown, I'm not afraid of anything. I was singing it 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.839 and it was the first time I'd like hit these 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:33.240 like notes of like, oh gosh, it's so hard to explain. 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:37.359 It's like the first time singing felt like nothing like 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:39.640 it felt like the sound just kind of poured out 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:41.760 of me and it was like this very it was 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:44.840 like a release almost, And after having so much kind 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:47.640 of trauma around singing for so long, I remember just like, 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:49.679 you know, the song is like I'm not afraid of anything. 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.159 I can do anything. It's a little more complicated than that, 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:55.360 but there was something about like holding back and letting 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:58.720 go and allowing myself to like feel that for the 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:03.200 first time. I was like, Oh, I love this, I 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:03.680 can do this. 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:05.520 Do you think it had something to do with the 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:07.719 content of the song, like what you were singing that 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:09.800 let you like release into it. 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:11.960 Yeah, there's a lot of emotion in it right in 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:14.000 that song, and it's a lot of connecting with who 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:15.680 we are on the outside versus how we feel on 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.360 the inside. I was like at late teens, early twenties, 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:19.800 trying to figure out who I wanted to be for 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:22.200 the rest of my life and feeling all this pressure 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:23.720 that I had to be a performer. 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.120 Do you think that your family put pressure on you, 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:31.000 even if they didn't know it, to achieve a level 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:33.120 in the arts that maybe they had not been able 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:34.520 to achieve themselves. 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:36.880 I don't know if they did it on purpose, but 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.520 I think I just I was good at singing, right, 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.919 Like people told me I was good at singing. So 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:44.600 I think there's this common thing when we're young that 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:46.840 if we are good at like an artistic thing, or 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:49.559 if we're good at anything, right, adults like to label 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.279 us and be like, that's what you're going to do. Oh, 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:54.040 you're really good at ice skating, You're going to be 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:56.239 a figure skater. Oh you're really good at basketball, you'red 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.160 a basketball player. Like I was really good at singing, 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:01.120 and so I was going to be a singer. I 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:03.520 think there's a part of me that felt that I 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:09.120 never understood as a young person why my mother stopped performing. 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:11.000 She's like, but I decided to stay home and have 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:13.320 kids since sart my family, and as a kid, I 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.800 couldn't understand that. I was like, you quit on your dream. 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.480 How could you do that? And I couldn't. I just 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.160 couldn't wrap my brain around that. So I was like, well, 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:22.200 I'm going to do that because you didn't get to 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:24.160 do that. You gave all that up for me, So 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:26.400 I'm going to go and do that for you, for me, 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:29.040 for everybody. Because I have this You've all told me 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.560 I'm fantastic. You've all like blown up my ego and 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:33.560 like told me I'm incredible. So obviously I can do 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:35.280 this thing and make that happen. 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:39.200 But that ambition, inspired by the life her mother left behind, 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:43.000 came with costs. She was living not only her dream, 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:46.920 but her mother's dream, and like any job, it felt 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:47.960 like something was off. 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:50.720 We don't see the private stuff. We only see what's 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:53.440 on the on the surface, and people have trouble wrapping 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.240 their brain around that you would ever possibly want to 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:59.280 give something up that they see is something that everyone wants. 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:01.320 They're like, wow, how could you? Like when I left Broadway, 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:03.000 I had a lot of people that were like, why, 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:06.560 You're like living my dream. You're like living the dream 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:10.920 And I'm like, yeah, but the dream is really exhaust 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:13.720 like I'm burnt out, and it's like hard to show 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:15.560 what that look. People don't see that. All they see 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:17.040 is that you are living the dream. 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:19.680 So you graduated, Where did we go from there? 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:22.680 I lucked out. I got an agent right out of college. 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:25.600 I booked the Asia tour of the Sound of Music, 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:27.920 and I played Leazel and I went to China. I 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:29.320 was just an idiot on that tour. I had so 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:32.040 much fun, but like just I did a lot of 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:33.920 partying because I was like, I'm not going and this 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:36.080 is so cool and I'm twenty one. Like I was 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:38.920 like invincible, I could do anything. It was very fun. 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:43.680 Despite feeling invincible, she still struggled with feeling enough. 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.520 I've always been really insecure. I don't know. I feel 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:48.960 like if you pull every every single perform in the world, 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:51.000 they'll all tell you that they're just the worst performer ever. 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.000 There are things I know I'm good at, but I 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.200 think at that age, I just didn't know. I wasn't 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:56.880 super confident about it. I knew I had a lot 0:08:56.880 --> 0:08:59.040 of feelings around it. I knew that like things were 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.000 working out really well because I had booked the show 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:05.160 right away, but I couldn't quite figure out how I 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:07.360 fit right. Like I still wasn't I wasn't sure if 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:09.439 I really loved a musical theater yet because I was 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:13.199 still kind of mourning the loss of my opera self. 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:15.920 I still just wasn't sure. I think I didn't know 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:18.280 what I wanted, so like when I got back and 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:21.719 I was here and I didn't have my union card yet, 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:23.080 and I was like, oh, what am I going to do? 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:25.600 And my agents were like, so we're going to need 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:27.400 you to like go to open calls. And I was 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:29.840 like what, but I have an agent. They're like yeah, 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:31.839 we just need you know, go to as much as 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:34.640 you can. And I was about to quit the business 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:36.800 again because a year had gone by and I couldn't 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:39.440 get anything, and I had been in for like Mama Mia, 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:43.200 and then I was out in California for like a 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:45.720 couple weeks with this X of mine and I was like, 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:47.600 I think I'm going to quit the business. This is awful, 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.679 Like I hate everything. I'm not getting any I'm not 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:51.760 getting work. Maybe I made a bad decision. Maybe I 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:55.079 shouldn't be doing musical theater this year is awful. And 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:57.559 then Mamaia called me all as California and they're like, 0:09:57.600 --> 0:09:59.920 can you come back and do another audition? And I 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:01.640 I got a really back cold for the audition and 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:03.959 I was feeling terrible. And I get there and I'm 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:07.240 in this dance call and it's like dancers. I'm not 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:09.600 a dancer and these girls are like kicking their face 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.160 and this combination is really hard, and I like froze, 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.200 and the choreographer comes up to me. She goes, Carla, 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:16.240 I don't know if anybody told you, but you're not 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:18.640 here for the dancer track. We're auditioning a couple of 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:22.120 things right now. This combination is for the dancers. You're 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:24.400 here for the Sophie understudy track, who doesn't do this 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:27.040 much dancing, so don't worry. And I was like, oh 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:29.440 my god, thank you for telling me that, because I 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:31.280 was literally about to burst into tears. I was like, 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:34.479 what am I doing here? Why did I leave California 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:36.079 to come and embarrass me home in. 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:36.719 This dance call? 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:40.360 And then like I sang. And then like a week later, 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:41.920 they were like, great, you want to go on tour 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:43.920 in a week and I was like yes, and I 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:46.360 booked my first equity gig and I went on tour 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:48.080 for like a year and a half and then I 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:51.320 was like, Okay, this feels good. This is like reaffirmed 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:52.319 I should be doing this. 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:56.680 So she set out on her first US Broadway tour, 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:59.760 hopping from city to city every single week. 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.640 This tour we were doing one week stops. Every like Sunday, 0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:06.679 we'd load out of the theater, travel Monday, open Tuesday 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:07.520 in a new city. 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.280 So what was the relationship. I mean to traveling with 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.080 the same people for a year and a half and 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:13.760 then for three years. 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.240 I learned a lot about how to be independent, how 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:19.920 to like try to separate work in life. It's really 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:22.680 hard when you like live with work. I would find 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:24.199 like a Whole Foods or a health food store, a 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:26.600 grocery shop. I would make sure that I had a kitchen. 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:28.680 I would find the yoga studios I could go to, 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:30.400 and I would try to kind of build a little 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.920 bit of a life during the daytime when I wasn't 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:35.480 at the theater. That would allow me to feel sort 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:38.080 of normal, so that I wouldn't get totally swept up 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:40.200 in like the drama at the theater, so I wasn't 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:42.080 always hanging out with everybody that I worked with. It's 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:45.360 really really hard, and on a touring production, everybody on 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:47.040 a touring production thinks they deserve to be in the 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.720 Broadway Company or there's something better out there, So you 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:53.000 constantly have people flying to New York for auditions and 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:56.439 talking about those auditions, and then like talking about, Oh, 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.880 my friend just booked so and so, and now they're 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:00.360 going to be in blah blah blah, and I'm going 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:01.920 to go back for that opening. And it's just like 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.199 a lot of everybody's trying to warn up everybody all 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:08.199 the time, and it's very sometimes exhausting was the word. 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.440 I was going for. That sounds east bad. 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:12.240 It's really hard to just like settle. 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:15.839 I want to pause here and explain for our non 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:20.320 Broadway listeners what Wicked is. The show centers around the 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.120 origin story of the Wicked Witch of the West. Like 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:27.040 Wizard of Oz, we follow the friendship and journey of Glinda, 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:31.160 who is Glinda the Good Witch in the movie, and Alphaba, 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.480 the green skinned Wicked Witch of the West. Not to 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:37.559 spoil a musical and a book that has been out 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:41.720 for decades, but Alphaba is the protagonist, the misunderstood hero 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:45.440 of the story, and her trauma as the outcast led 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.080 her to become an advocate for the little guy, fighting 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:53.240 against a system that villainizes anyone who is different. So 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:55.520 did you go right from Mama Mia to Wicked? Had 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.320 you seen Wicked by the time you joined the tour? 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:01.720 I saw it in two thousand and five graduated from college. 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.760 I'm really embarrassed about this, but I didn't like it. 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.040 I'm really sorry. I hate saying that out loud. It's 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:10.079 not that I didn't like it, but when I watched 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.480 the show as an actor, I have a problem where 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.200 when I watch shows, I can't turn off my actor brain. 0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:17.720 So like I'll watch and I'm like, Okay, what track 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:19.480 am I? Who am I going to play? What's my 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:21.800 What do I do? And I was like, am I Glinda? 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.400 Am I? I'm like, I'm obviously not an Alpha BA. 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:26.680 I was like, am I a Nessa Rose? So like 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:28.439 I was like, I guess I'm a mess I'm Annessa Rose? 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.160 Why don't you think you were in Alpha BA? 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:33.439 I'm small. I'm like not quite five four, which is 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:37.040 not actually short, but they love to cast Alpha basall 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.719 even though a Dina Menzelisfi for Christon Tanna with is like, 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:44.680 what's right? But not every Glinda's going to be as 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.240 short as Crystontena With. So they like this thing of 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:49.920 like alpha but being taller than Glinda, and so I 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.880 was like, well, I'm short. I also didn't feel Alpha 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:54.800 BA at that time in my life. I didn't feel 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:57.520 that kind of power and not how to channel that 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:00.360 in myself, so like I couldn't relate to her. So 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.599 I was like nessa Rose Tragic, I could do that. 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.520 Great funny thing is the first time I auditioned for it, 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.760 I actually went in forness Arose after I came back 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:11.079 from Mama Mia. The message that got relayed to me 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:13.400 to my agent was they just don't think you're tragically 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:15.839 beautiful enough. So I was like, great, I guess I'm 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:17.400 not gonna be a wicked And then like a year later, 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:19.360 no maybe not a year, but like like a few 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:21.640 months whatever. I had gotten married in that time and 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:25.280 I then got very quickly divorced. But it was right 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.760 when I was going through my divorce my agents called again. 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.680 They were like Glinda Alphaba, and I was like, Alphaba, 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:33.960 this divorce has taught me that I'm a really strong person. 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:37.760 I can be an alphabet absolutely, and like I was 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.640 able to then channel all of that divorce energy into 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:44.440 Alphaba and it was incredible, Like I like got it finally. 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.840 When I first had seen the show, I was like, 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:48.880 I don't have anything that tragic. I don't have anything 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.040 to relate to, and I don't know what that power 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.440 looks like in myself, and so like having gone through 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.520 that process of like finding my strength, I was like, oh, 0:14:57.040 --> 0:14:59.720 I can be Alphaba. That was when I was like, okay, 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:00.240 let's do it. 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:17.080 Please welcome Carla Stickler from Wicked. My future is. 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:19.800 That's true. 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.360 So I was on the first National tour for three years. 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.320 The first year I was the understudy, so I was 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:27.320 in the ensemble eight times a week, so I was 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:30.080 like the second cover. So there's Alphaba, there's a stand 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:32.440 by who's an off stage principal cover, who's the first 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:33.960 to go on, and then there's standers study who's in 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:37.160 the ensemble. And halfway through that second year, they were like, 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:38.760 we're gonna move up to stand by and I was 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.040 like okay, but I had to wait like six months, 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:43.240 which is like an agonizing six months. I couldn't tell 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:44.960 anybody that I was moving up to the role because 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:47.000 I knew, but like I couldn't talk about it because 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.720 I didn't want to upset anybody. Like so I once 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:51.280 I moved up, I was a stand by for a 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:53.040 year on tour, which was great. 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:56.680 It was great for a number of reasons, but surprisingly 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:59.880 the stand by role is more coveted than the understudy role. 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:04.680 Why simply because it's easier. The standby doesn't have to 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:07.520 be part of the ensemble. The stand by is the 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.320 best role. It is a better role than the understudy roll. 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:12.600 The thing that's hard about the understudy role is that 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:15.080 you're doing eight shows a week. It's a different level 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:16.760 of exhaustion, where like when you're in the stand by 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:17.640 you get to rest a lot. 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:19.800 On the tour, we get to leave halfway through and 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.440 us act too, and then in Broadway you just leave 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:25.360 after she enters Act too. You could go home, which 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:28.200 is the best. It's great because we're like, all right, fine, 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:30.880 because look at that point, I think the whole thing 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:33.000 is if she goes down and Act two, they have 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:37.120 to stop the show. So it's faster to get the understudy, 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:40.200 who's already wigged and miked, into green, than it is 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:42.200 to get the stand by into green, because they would 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:44.720 have to wig her and do a lot more prep work. 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:48.920 If you've never seen Wicked, Alpha but is fully green, 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:53.240 And if you're wondering how long it takes to be greenified, 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:54.600 so was I. 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:57.800 We started half hour a half hour before the show. 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:01.280 It's eight o'clock curtain seven thirty. You should be in 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:05.000 like tights and your body suit in the chair, ready 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:08.320 to go, and then they start greeting you. Ideally they're 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:10.600 done greeening you by the time the show starts, so 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:13.720 you have like ten minutes to warm up and get 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:16.119 into costume. Sometimes they're faster. They can do it in 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:17.399 five minutes if they need to, and you. 0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:20.960 Don't do it yourself. Absolutely, and does the stand by green? No, 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:22.920 only if she's going on. 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.320 Only if she's going on. Yeah, So, like there are 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:27.359 spots in Act one where they know that they have 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:30.520 time to get the standby ready. A common spot is 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:33.040 Alpha bo will sing Wizard and I and she'll be like, 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:36.399 I'm out and then and she'll continue on because she 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:38.479 doesn't have to sing anything, or a couple of scenes, 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:40.480 so she'll continue through the show, and then there's like 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:42.119 a swap out where she'll walk off stage and the 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:42.800 new one will walk on. 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:44.600 And that really happens all the time. 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.119 All the time, and people don't notice unless there's like 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:49.800 a drastic height difference or like a body shape difference. 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:52.520 Like people might be like, hmm, something looks different, and 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:53.960 then they'll make an announcement of intermission. 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:55.480 I mean, I guess if she's green. 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:57.280 Yeah, nobody knows, nobody cares. 0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:58.000 That's the thing. 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:00.280 It's like, it really doesn't matter. I think that's the 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:02.600 beautiful thing about the show, right, I mean, as long 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:05.960 as the Alphaba is like a solid actress and singer, like, 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:09.120 nobody cares who's playing the role. It's not about the actress, 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:10.320 It's about the character. 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:14.680 Okay, So you moved from the tour to Broadway and 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.120 how did that feel to go on Broadway as Alphabet? 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:19.359 I mean, you've really stepped into your power. 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:22.200 Yeah, it was great. While I was on tour, I 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:24.960 really kind of grew into the character. She changed a 0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:27.040