1
00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,600
Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

2
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,240
Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me

3
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,840
Speaker 1: tell you about the free platform Anchor. It's a creation

4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,800
Speaker 1: tool that allows you to record and edit your podcast

5
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,280
Speaker 1: right from your phone or computer. You can add songs

6
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,000
Speaker 1: from Spotify and create any type of content that you

7
00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,400
Speaker 1: are looking for. Anchor will distribute it all for you

8
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:28,440
Speaker 1: so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more.

9
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,040
Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

10
00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:33,800
Speaker 1: fm to get started.

11
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:38,120
Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space. All my way

12
00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:39,839
Speaker 2: to work, I got a text from one of my

13
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,800
Speaker 2: girlfriends Ayana, shout out to you, Yanna, and she text

14
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,000
Speaker 2: me a screen. Well first she said congratulations, and I'm

15
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,479
Speaker 2: like congratulations that I want some money and I ain't up.

16
00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,960
Speaker 2: What's going on? Girl? And I don't even know? Yana

17
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,720
Speaker 2: text me and she sent a screenshot of Dom and I.

18
00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,040
Speaker 2: Our podcast cover on Black Enterprise and we were featured

19
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,800
Speaker 2: as one of twenty powerful.

20
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:09,160
Speaker 3: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women

21
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:14,440
Speaker 3: like you. We're your hosts doctor Dominique Brussard, a college

22
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,840
Speaker 3: professor and psychologist.

23
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:20,920
Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker in a

24
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,600
Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood. Please

25
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:30,320
Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

26
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,840
Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where

27
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:44,280
Speaker 2: black women can just be. I cannot believe that this

28
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,240
Speaker 2: is our last episode of this season. This is our

29
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,240
Speaker 2: season finale, episode fourteen.

30
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,600
Speaker 4: Whoa, I know we did it?

31
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:52,680
Speaker 2: Please wait?

32
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:58,559
Speaker 3: Wait, So we had like thirteen episodes, like we legit

33
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,120
Speaker 3: released an episode every Friday this year.

34
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,240
Speaker 2: We've been consistent.

35
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:08,160
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, consistency, y'all.

36
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,440
Speaker 2: It's been a journey. It has not been easy, working

37
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,040
Speaker 2: full time and managing our lives and all that. But

38
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,200
Speaker 2: we want to thank you so much for tuning in,

39
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,600
Speaker 2: for supporting us, for leaving reviews, for leaving comments. We

40
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,680
Speaker 2: have had five star reviews on Apple. We just we

41
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,520
Speaker 2: just appreciate you, and we want you to remember that

42
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,600
Speaker 2: this was literally just an idea less than a year ago.

43
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:35,880
Speaker 2: Dom and I met just like randomly and came together

44
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,480
Speaker 2: and brought this vision to fruition. We had no idea

45
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,480
Speaker 2: what we were doing. We had no idea how to

46
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,120
Speaker 2: start a podcast. We did our googles, did our youtubes

47
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:48,760
Speaker 2: and here we go. Now I'm gonna bite y'all. So

48
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,000
Speaker 2: what we want to do in this episode for good time,

49
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,000
Speaker 2: for wait for old time sake, is that saying yes okay,

50
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,480
Speaker 2: because you're you know, we gotta do some reministic So

51
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,440
Speaker 2: we want to talk a little bit about what we've

52
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,120
Speaker 2: covered in the last episodees because we cover some content

53
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,959
Speaker 2: it got real, Okay. We want to do like a

54
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,840
Speaker 2: little highlight reel. So if you're just tuning in, this

55
00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:11,520
Speaker 2: is a great episode for you to listen to to

56
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,880
Speaker 2: get an idea of what we talked about before. And

57
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,160
Speaker 2: we also want to give a little teaser until where

58
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,800
Speaker 2: we're going for season two because we already got some

59
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,840
Speaker 2: surprises up our sleeves. Ooh, y'all, just wait, okay wait,

60
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,600
Speaker 2: But first we do have to share with you the

61
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,919
Speaker 2: fact that we got some amazing news last week. On

62
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,880
Speaker 2: my way to work, I got a text from one

63
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,960
Speaker 2: of my girlfriends Ayana, shout out to you, Yanna, and

64
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,920
Speaker 2: she texted me a screen. Well first she said congratulations,

65
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,120
Speaker 2: and I'm like congratulations that I want some money and

66
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:44,680
Speaker 2: I ain't know up what's going on? Girl? And I

67
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,760
Speaker 2: didn't even know. Yana text me and She sent a

68
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:52,920
Speaker 2: screenshot of Dom and I our podcast cover on Black

69
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:57,000
Speaker 2: Enterprise and we were featured as one of twenty podcasts

70
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,520
Speaker 2: to listen to in twenty nineteen. Can you believe that.

71
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,280
Speaker 3: I'm still you hear me stuttering right here. I'm still

72
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,120
Speaker 3: My mind is still blown, Like when I think back

73
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:13,040
Speaker 3: to our first conversation about starting this podcast, and to

74
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:17,920
Speaker 3: think that we were just listed, and we were listed

75
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:25,480
Speaker 3: among some really top notch podcast said I listened to,

76
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:29,680
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, this is this is a good podcast.

77
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:34,919
Speaker 3: And to know that, like we are part of it, y'all,

78
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,480
Speaker 3: I'm just so humbled by that amazing.

79
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:39,160
Speaker 4: Wow.

80
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,600
Speaker 2: And it's really because of your support, and I do

81
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,520
Speaker 2: we do want to shout out a Net Jones from

82
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,320
Speaker 2: Black Enterprise for featuring us on this list. We literally

83
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,520
Speaker 2: had no idea. It was such a surprise and it's

84
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,520
Speaker 2: so nice when things happen like that organically and just like,

85
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,479
Speaker 2: oh wow, we must be onto something. So thank you

86
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,760
Speaker 2: for the support. We also want to shout a few

87
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 2: of you out because we've been in the comments, we've

88
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,880
Speaker 2: been on Facebook, on Instagram and the emails, and we

89
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,000
Speaker 2: see you and we appreciate you. And again this is

90
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,160
Speaker 2: a conversation like, yes, we're on this podcast, but we

91
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,720
Speaker 2: want to engage with you, so we appreciate the love.

92
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:15,840
Speaker 2: And so first shout out to Amber on ig Amber says,

93
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,680
Speaker 2: I just found the podcast. I'm in therapy working through

94
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,360
Speaker 2: some heavy stuff and your podcast is really helpful. Amber.

95
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,880
Speaker 2: Kudos to you for doing the work lady. We both

96
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,400
Speaker 2: know it's not easy, not at all, but as they say,

97
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,440
Speaker 2: we got to get through or go through to get through, right,

98
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,080
Speaker 2: So we got to go through some of the tough

99
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,000
Speaker 2: times to get through to the other side, and you

100
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,320
Speaker 2: will get to the other side.

101
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:45,440
Speaker 3: We also want to kind of shout out some of

102
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:55,000
Speaker 3: our first email or podcast subscribers. So when we initially launched,

103
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,520
Speaker 3: like we set our launch date for January one, that

104
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,039
Speaker 3: was like our initial date that we were like kicking

105
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:07,839
Speaker 3: things off. But we released a couple of teasers before then,

106
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:15,360
Speaker 3: and our first one of our first subscribers.

107
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,320
Speaker 4: Logged in, let me, I want to make sure I

108
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:30,120
Speaker 4: have a date correct, but our first subscriber December twenty eighth, Wow.

109
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:34,000
Speaker 3: December twenty eighth, And I want to shout her out

110
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,480
Speaker 3: because I know her personally.

111
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:42,679
Speaker 4: Oh, I want to thank Joyce Smith. So much for

112
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,479
Speaker 4: being one.

113
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:50,520
Speaker 3: Of our very first subscribers and constantly promoting our podcast.

114
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,440
Speaker 2: Thank you, Joy.

115
00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:53,080
Speaker 4: Shout out to you, Joy.

116
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,880
Speaker 2: He shout out to Joy. Shout out to our first subscriber.

117
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,040
Speaker 2: We also have more love on IG. It seems like

118
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,360
Speaker 2: IG is the place where you are just at giving

119
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,799
Speaker 2: us some love. So we got glam Life Studio says

120
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,039
Speaker 2: on Instagram. Love you guys, Glam Life Studio. We love

121
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:09,680
Speaker 2: you too, and we appreciate you for listening. We got

122
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,320
Speaker 2: Miya on Instagram it says so ready to hear more

123
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,640
Speaker 2: from you, ladies. Great quote of the day. It is

124
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,640
Speaker 2: speaking so much to me in the moment, failing forward

125
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,040
Speaker 2: and making progress. That's right, Mia, It's all about failing

126
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,400
Speaker 2: forward and reaching success like it's going to happen, right,

127
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,480
Speaker 2: But it's a numbers game. We got to fail forward

128
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,440
Speaker 2: to get to that desired outcome.

129
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:33,520
Speaker 3: Yes, And I also want to shout out to all

130
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:40,000
Speaker 3: those who have reposted our images who have requested that

131
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,760
Speaker 3: they can screenshot our quotes or save our quotes so

132
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,680
Speaker 3: that they can provide inspiration to their young daughters who

133
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,080
Speaker 3: aren't old enough.

134
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,200
Speaker 4: To listen to the podcast, especially coming up for season two.

135
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:55,280
Speaker 2: Yeah please, but thank you.

136
00:07:55,360 --> 00:08:01,320
Speaker 3: So much for sharing our images and our quotes with

137
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,880
Speaker 3: the young ladies in your life who could really benefit

138
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:11,000
Speaker 3: from positive imagery and positive words of affirmation and inspiration.

139
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,480
Speaker 2: That's right, that's right, We appreciate you. We also want

140
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,600
Speaker 2: to shout out IGK on Instagram. IGK says, listening to

141
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:23,760
Speaker 2: this right now? Awesome tips, ladies. My stylist Shari on

142
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,840
Speaker 2: here says yes under one of our posts. And last

143
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,720
Speaker 2: but not least, from social media on Facebook, Vanity Jay,

144
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,480
Speaker 2: makeup artist says, thank you so much for your podcast.

145
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,000
Speaker 2: I'm catching up on every second of my downtime and

146
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:39,040
Speaker 2: I am a complete fan. You have no clue how

147
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,240
Speaker 2: on point your podcast is and how uplifting it is

148
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,960
Speaker 2: to hear other women address my daily issues and struggles

149
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,839
Speaker 2: that I face. It's my push through all.

150
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:48,959
Speaker 4: I love it.

151
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:54,800
Speaker 3: That is exactly why we came together to create her space,

152
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,240
Speaker 3: because we really want this space.

153
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,199
Speaker 4: To be for you, lady.

154
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,360
Speaker 2: That's right, and you and you and you and you

155
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,280
Speaker 2: and you and you and you dom Do you have

156
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,680
Speaker 2: any personal shoutouts before we dive into our recap and

157
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:12,560
Speaker 2: get all silly with these fun moments and stories, because

158
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,400
Speaker 2: you got to stay tuned, We got some we got

159
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,600
Speaker 2: some updates for you, some some crazy stuff. Any personal shoutouts.

160
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:21,439
Speaker 3: Personal shout outs, I want to shout out all of

161
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:25,840
Speaker 3: my friends and family who have It's too.

162
00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:29,280
Speaker 4: Many of y'all to name, and way wait, way too

163
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:29,640
Speaker 4: many of.

164
00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:32,640
Speaker 3: Y'all to name, but I'm gonna toss out a couple

165
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:42,480
Speaker 3: I already mentioned, joy My they one DeAndre from my

166
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:48,839
Speaker 3: grad school crew, Johnny from my Houston crew, Christy, and

167
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:58,120
Speaker 3: just so many other people. My sisters, Ashley, Brandy, Courtney,

168
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:05,400
Speaker 3: Jasmine mckea, Jaia, Sierra, Sarah, all of y'all. Thank you

169
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:12,640
Speaker 3: so much for sharing on Facebook, on Instagram, on Twitter.

170
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:19,119
Speaker 3: It really has meant so so much for y'all to

171
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:24,600
Speaker 3: support as I'm trying something new, because y'all know me

172
00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:28,560
Speaker 3: getting on the mic is not normally my thing. I

173
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:32,280
Speaker 3: was telling Terry earlier that I'm usually perfectly okay with

174
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,320
Speaker 3: being in the background and directing from the background, so

175
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,280
Speaker 3: I appreciate the support more than you know.

176
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,600
Speaker 2: I'm about to fix me cry. Oh my gosh, this

177
00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,200
Speaker 2: is so exciting because this is such a oh goodness, Okay,

178
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,080
Speaker 2: let me get it together. I mean, it's okay to

179
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,680
Speaker 2: cry today.

180
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,120
Speaker 4: Tears.

181
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,360
Speaker 2: It's happy, for sure, happy tears. I do. I want

182
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,679
Speaker 2: to shout out my friends and families. I know a

183
00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:56,600
Speaker 2: lot of people are supporting. I appreciate your support, but

184
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,160
Speaker 2: I do have to shout out a few people by name.

185
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,200
Speaker 2: I want to shout out my hubby for being so

186
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,240
Speaker 2: supportive on these you know, these nights going down and

187
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,959
Speaker 2: I record after work and I'm like, all right, babe,

188
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,600
Speaker 2: I'm still recording. We're still doing this thing. He's like, okay, cool,

189
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,760
Speaker 2: it sounds good, just so supportive. I appreciate you, my

190
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,480
Speaker 2: booth bank. I appreciate my bestie Emina Mina Bina for

191
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,640
Speaker 2: being so supportive. Sam from my job, who's always like, girl,

192
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,040
Speaker 2: I listened to the podcast on Friday. It was so

193
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:25,120
Speaker 2: good and give me feedback. That's so helpful. Jenna from

194
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:30,439
Speaker 2: my job, Juju from YouTube and Salisbury appreciate you, girl,

195
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:34,319
Speaker 2: and a host of other people. We really really value that.

196
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,439
Speaker 2: And this is really this is our space. This is

197
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,240
Speaker 2: what it's for and so we appreciate it and it's

198
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,760
Speaker 2: only going to get better from here. So, without further ado,

199
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,880
Speaker 2: let's dive into episode one. So an episode one dom

200
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,520
Speaker 2: this was our welcome episode where we shared the interesting

201
00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:54,079
Speaker 2: story of how we met and decided to create this podcast,

202
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,840
Speaker 2: and one of our quotes from that episode is it's

203
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,440
Speaker 2: time for you to move realizing that the thing you

204
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,720
Speaker 2: are seeking is also seeking you. So at this point

205
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,640
Speaker 2: in our journey, any thoughts on that, does it mean

206
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,679
Speaker 2: anything to you today in a different sense because we

207
00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,880
Speaker 2: were so we were in a different space then, you know.

208
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,200
Speaker 3: Yes, And just to give y'all a little bit of

209
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:18,200
Speaker 3: background info, we recorded that first episode.

210
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,280
Speaker 4: What was that in? Like October?

211
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,160
Speaker 2: Was it October? I think I think it was October

212
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,040
Speaker 2: twenty eighteen eighteen.

213
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:31,880
Speaker 3: So we recorded that episode months before we actually put

214
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:36,440
Speaker 3: it out there, and so just to see in these

215
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:44,040
Speaker 3: few short months where we've come. Clearly this podcast was

216
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:47,720
Speaker 3: seeking us right Okay, it was seeking us.

217
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,199
Speaker 2: And we talked about valuing progress over perfection. So wherever

218
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,920
Speaker 2: you are in your life right now, don't wait for

219
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
Speaker 2: that perfect look I'm stumping my foot right now, don't

220
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,440
Speaker 2: wait for that perfect moment. Like, it doesn't matter if

221
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,719
Speaker 2: you're trying to write a book, started business, go back

222
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,760
Speaker 2: to school, I mean, start a podcast, whatever it is,

223
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,560
Speaker 2: start a blog, you don't do it. It does not

224
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,440
Speaker 2: have to be perfect everything. If you look at every

225
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,960
Speaker 2: person that's successful right now, if you go back to

226
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,920
Speaker 2: day one, yo, their ship was probably tacky. You can

227
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,880
Speaker 2: go back to Oprah's like first interview. I'm sure it

228
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,679
Speaker 2: was like, ohkay, what you're doing? Our first my first

229
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,679
Speaker 2: YouTube video. I think about one of my homegirls, Dayla

230
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,360
Speaker 2: on YouTube. I remember going back to her video and

231
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,920
Speaker 2: she's like popping right now, she's like famous on YouTube,

232
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,199
Speaker 2: but her first video was like just a cute little girl.

233
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,720
Speaker 2: You know, it wasn't it was imperfect. So just get

234
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,679
Speaker 2: started with what you have and make those.

235
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,679
Speaker 3: Adjustment, Just make that move and know, you know, one

236
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,680
Speaker 3: of my favorite phrases is trust the process, yes, and

237
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:49,360
Speaker 3: know that no matter where you are, And we've said

238
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,959
Speaker 3: this in one of our episodes that whether you're at

239
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:56,439
Speaker 3: day one or day one hundred, day one hundred supposed

240
00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:00,440
Speaker 3: to different than day one, and there would be any

241
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:04,920
Speaker 3: growth if day one hundred looked exactly like day one

242
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,120
Speaker 3: and the things that happen in between.

243
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,439
Speaker 4: Sometimes you may have a setback.

244
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,720
Speaker 3: And then but you keep pushing exactly and for us

245
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:17,880
Speaker 3: it's you know, this journey has been so awesome to

246
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 3: me because it's pulling me in the direction that I

247
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,160
Speaker 3: wouldn't have thought to go.

248
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:23,840
Speaker 2: In on my own.

249
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:32,080
Speaker 3: And this coherenting relationship we have with our podcast it

250
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:38,040
Speaker 3: is so it's such a great opportunity for us to

251
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:44,560
Speaker 3: create this space to help others, but we're also helping

252
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,760
Speaker 3: each other and helping ourselves through this absolutely.

253
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,000
Speaker 2: And the last thing I want to say about episode

254
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 2: one is that I always like, whenever I think about

255
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,200
Speaker 2: starting a new journey, sometimes it's nerve wracking, like even

256
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,320
Speaker 2: with us, like we're gonna start having guests on season too,

257
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,200
Speaker 2: and we've been preparing for that, and I noticed within

258
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,040
Speaker 2: myself as we started talking about that, it was like

259
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,480
Speaker 2: there was this thing in my mind that was just like,

260
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,880
Speaker 2: oh shit, we got to learn. We already got comfortable

261
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 2: doing this podcast, and now we got to figure out

262
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,320
Speaker 2: how do we record the guests and how do you

263
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,520
Speaker 2: do that? And it's like, Yo, you're going to figure

264
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,160
Speaker 2: it out. Go to YouTube, like we have all the

265
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,040
Speaker 2: answers at our fingertips, like you'll figure it out. Yeah,

266
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 2: it's gonna be uncomfortable the first couple episodes where we

267
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,600
Speaker 2: have a guest, you might be like, girl, that audio

268
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,920
Speaker 2: kind of yanky, what's going on? But it's like it's

269
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,600
Speaker 2: part of the process. And I always like to say,

270
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 2: it's like you starting off and you know grade one right,

271
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,920
Speaker 2: your first grade, you do. Not no one in their

272
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 2: right mind will want to go from first grade to

273
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,840
Speaker 2: twelfth grade because you're going to need second grade, third grade,

274
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,040
Speaker 2: fourth grade, and everything in between that give you the

275
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,040
Speaker 2: tools that you need to really be successful in the

276
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,400
Speaker 2: twelfth grade. So it's all about the growth. It really

277
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,320
Speaker 2: is about the journey and not the destination.

278
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,800
Speaker 3: And we appreciate y'all. I don't know how many times

279
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,960
Speaker 3: we're gonna say this in this episode, but we appreciate

280
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,040
Speaker 3: y'all being patient with us throughout this journey.

281
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:02,600
Speaker 4: We really do.

282
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,480
Speaker 3: And when we think about it and we move on

283
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 3: to like talking about like episode two right where we

284
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:14,160
Speaker 3: talked about the seven easy steps to manage your time effectively.

285
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:20,200
Speaker 3: You know, as we after we air that episode, I

286
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 3: was like them, you need to get it together, girl.

287
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,320
Speaker 3: Like I had to have a conversation with myself and

288
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 3: be like, self, what are we doing over here? And

289
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:34,880
Speaker 3: so like I want y'all to really hear that we're

290
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:39,240
Speaker 3: not just dishing out tips. We're not just telling y'all, Oh,

291
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,320
Speaker 3: this is how y'all should live your life like standing

292
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:46,040
Speaker 3: up on like a pedestal and preaching we are going

293
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:51,360
Speaker 3: through things ourselves, and we have been through some of

294
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,479
Speaker 3: the things that we are talking about in our episodes,

295
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:58,560
Speaker 3: so we really want you to know that you're not alone.

296
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,120
Speaker 2: Amen to that. And in episode three we talked about

297
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 2: how to overcome procrastination and make progress fast. We share

298
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 2: some smart goals, and that's the episode where we talked

299
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,280
Speaker 2: about what does try really mean?

300
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:13,600
Speaker 3: Right?

301
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,919
Speaker 2: So it's really trying to really try? There I go

302
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:20,439
Speaker 2: really ensuring that we move away from the word try

303
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 2: because try is not committal, like you're not committed to

304
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,479
Speaker 2: what you're going to do when you say, oh, I'm

305
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,959
Speaker 2: going to try to do that and try, What does

306
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:28,560
Speaker 2: try really mean?

307
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:28,760
Speaker 4: Right?

308
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,639
Speaker 2: We talked about really committing to what you're going to do.

309
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,359
Speaker 2: So I Am going to get up in the morning

310
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 2: and go to the gym. Now I'm going to try

311
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,439
Speaker 2: because try is letting yourself off the hook, right, So

312
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,280
Speaker 2: when you really want to achieve something, it's important that

313
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 2: we do commit. And if you make a mistake, okay,

314
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 2: we'll try. If you make a mistake, you will do

315
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,880
Speaker 2: better tomorrow. See how easy it is just try so

316
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,159
Speaker 2: easy try.

317
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 3: I have been so I've been much more conscious really

318
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 3: about saying try like I mean a new wors.

319
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:03,360
Speaker 4: Like even now, like you literally like it easily.

320
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:06,240
Speaker 3: Came out of your vocabulary and you were in the

321
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,600
Speaker 3: moment were able to stop it.

322
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,119
Speaker 4: That's what that is.

323
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,000
Speaker 3: One of our biggest hopes from this podcast that you

324
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 3: take away from it is that.

325
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 4: You hear what we're.

326
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:20,640
Speaker 3: Saying and know that as you're trying to apply it

327
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,160
Speaker 3: and in this case, using the word try is appropriate,

328
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,440
Speaker 3: you are trying to apply to your daily life. Eventually

329
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,160
Speaker 3: you get to a space where you're beyond trying and

330
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,679
Speaker 3: actually doing.

331
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,360
Speaker 2: That's right, don you got it? You got it.

332
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 4: You were about to say try again, right, That's why

333
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:44,600
Speaker 4: you had a pause. You might have been about to say.

334
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 3: And so as we move into episode four, we talked

335
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,560
Speaker 3: about the best ways to heal after leaving a toxic relationship,

336
00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:02,439
Speaker 3: and Terry shared with us her healing process that she

337
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:06,199
Speaker 3: went through after leaving a toxic relationship and some of

338
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 3: the steps that she had to like reflect on and

339
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 3: think about. Okay, well, what are some healthy ways that

340
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,680
Speaker 3: we can all use when we're trying to move forward

341
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 3: from a healthy relationship or from an unhealthy relationship.

342
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,919
Speaker 2: And the one thing I remember about that episode was

343
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 2: when Don tried to put me on blast. It was like, no, no, no,

344
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 2: you didn't. You didn't talk around that. But it was

345
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,120
Speaker 2: so funny because we were if you remember an episode four,

346
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 2: we were chatting and I was like, yeah, you know,

347
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 2: cause I have friends and Don was like what kind

348
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,439
Speaker 2: of friends? And it got quiet. I was like, what

349
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,199
Speaker 2: do you mean? What kind of friends?

350
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 3: That was?

351
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 2: That was actually pretty funny. When I listened to their playback,

352
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 2: I was like, oh damn, Don, really, you just gonna

353
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,200
Speaker 2: She's gonna put me out there. But it was all good.

354
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,640
Speaker 2: It was all good. That's what we're that's what we're

355
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,159
Speaker 2: here for. But that was that was fun. That was

356
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 2: a fun episode.

357
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean.

358
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 3: That's that is exactly how our normal conversations quoted, so

359
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,680
Speaker 3: even off the mic, like what you all and I've

360
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 3: heard so I've had quite a few people tell me

361
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 3: that they can pick up on like our on air chemistry,

362
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,120
Speaker 3: and I want you all to know that, like our conversations,

363
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,639
Speaker 3: our general conversations, and like our text messages that we're exchanging,

364
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 3: like this is how we are, Like it flows naturally

365
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,199
Speaker 3: for us. So even if I'm like it seems like

366
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 3: I might be calling her out, like she knows what's

367
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 3: going in love and.

368
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 4: Don't get it twisted. She calls me out too.

369
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 2: Never enough, don't.

370
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 4: That's what we do.

371
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,640
Speaker 2: We're all that's what we're here for, right, Like call

372
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 2: each other out and out of love so that we

373
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,639
Speaker 2: can become our best selves. That's what it's all. That's

374
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,919
Speaker 2: what it's all about. And that takes us to episode

375
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 2: five where we talked about the adulting woes or when

376
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,919
Speaker 2: everyone's life is lit and you feel stagnant. And I

377
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,159
Speaker 2: told the story about when I was scrolling down social

378
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,439
Speaker 2: media and I was like, everybody else is doing these

379
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 2: amazing things. I might be doing a but I want

380
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,679
Speaker 2: to do better. I want to be in Dubai. I

381
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 2: want to do on this trip. I want to make

382
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 2: a million dollars and all that. And we just talked

383
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 2: about comparison, you know, like you cannot compare your journey

384
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: to someone else's because we all have different experiences.

385
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 3: Yes, what is meant for you is not meant for

386
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 3: anyone else, and you have to value your experience, the good,

387
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 3: the bad, and the ugly. And there's therapy for processing

388
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 3: and healing from the bad and the ugly and celebrating

389
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 3: the good.

390
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 4: Like I want people to know too that therapy is

391
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 4: not just to focus on the negative.

392
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:46,880
Speaker 3: It's not just for I've had this traumatic experience. Therapy

393
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 3: can be for mild stressors. You are having an experience

394
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 3: that you just need to process with an unbiased person.

395
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 3: There's a wide range of reason why we seek therapy,

396
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 3: why we can seek therapy and know that your therapist

397
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 3: also wants to hear about your wins.

398
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 2: I would agree with that. Sometimes we have I know

399
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 2: I do, at least have trouble like celebrating ourselves and

400
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,120
Speaker 2: our accomplishments and the things that we do, and sometimes

401
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 2: you may need a reminder to do that where it's like,

402
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 2: hold up before you move on to the next goal,

403
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 2: because I'm good for being like, all right, cool, did that.

404
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 2: Let's go to the next thing, onto the next, onto

405
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 2: the next, and it's like, wait a second, let's pause,

406
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 2: embrace yourself, celebrate yourself for what you've done, and then

407
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 2: move on to the next thing.

408
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 4: Exactly exactly.

409
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 3: And speaking of moving on to the next thing, let's

410
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 3: talk about episode six because when we were looking at

411
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 3: some of our statistics in terms of how many people

412
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 3: have listened to our episodes.

413
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 4: Episode six had a lot.

414
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 2: We were surprised.

415
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 4: We were really surprised. We weren't expecting this, but.

416
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 3: I think it kind of made sense when we at

417
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 3: the timing of when the episode aired. So episode six

418
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 3: was about colorism, talking white and black history. We dived

419
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 3: into what it means to be a black woman in

420
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 3: America when we have to look at we are constantly

421
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 3: pitted against each other in terms of our skin color.

422
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 3: And we talked about this idea of this narrative of

423
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 3: good hair versus bad hair.

424
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 4: We talked about the importance of representation.

425
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 3: And I dropped a little you know, I got a

426
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,679
Speaker 3: little nerdy and academic on y'all and shared information about

427
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 3: the Clark Doll study, so and it's importance to the

428
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 3: Brown Versus Board of Education Supreme Court decision, but then

429
00:23:55,960 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 3: also in general what that study revealed in terms of

430
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 3: how we as a people look at ourselves and how

431
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 3: we've been socialized and conditioned to look at ourselves.

432
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 2: You know that when Donald's let's move on to episode seven,

433
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 2: the Dating Game live show at the University of San Francisco.

434
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 2: This was a really fun episode for us because it

435
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 2: was our first live show, one of many in the

436
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 2: future that we'll be doing. And this was a really

437
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 2: great opportunity for us to speak at the Women of

438
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 2: Color conference at USUFF here in San Francisco, and we

439
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 2: just talked about you know, we had a nice little

440
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 2: intimate group and we talked about relationships. We asked questions about,

441
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 2: you know, what does your ideal relationship look like, and

442
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 2: you know, what three things do you look for in

443
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,920
Speaker 2: a relationship, and just really encourage the women that attended

444
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 2: to think about the dynamics of their current relationships and

445
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 2: also what they desire in the future so that they

446
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 2: could create more of what they like and not tolerate

447
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 2: the bs that oftentimes people tolerate in silence because you

448
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 2: may not have someone to downce ideas off of, or

449
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: maybe you don't have anyone to talk to where they

450
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 2: can be like a girl, that's some bullshit that you dealing with,

451
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 2: like that's that's not how someone should talk to you,

452
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 2: or that's not how someone that loves you should treat you.

453
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 2: And so I think that was one of my favorite

454
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 2: sessions because we got a chance to see the perspectives

455
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 2: of those women live in an action Yeah, and.

456
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:22,400
Speaker 3: I think one of the cool things about that too

457
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 3: was that they were able to ask us questions. And so, lady,

458
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 3: if you're listening and you have questions for us, we

459
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 3: can't stress enough.

460
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 2: Ask Yes. Now, I've got a PhD Alldam as a doctor.

461
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 2: She is a psychologist and a therapist. Okay, this is

462
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 2: free for you. You better use her because I know

463
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 2: I will.

464
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 3: And so now you know I disclaim her that it's

465
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 3: not meant to be a replacement for therapy service. I'm

466
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 3: not too excited, but know that if you do have

467
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:01,919
Speaker 3: questions that or you're looking for therapists, feel free to

468
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 3: ask and I will be happy to help you get

469
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 3: connected to a therapist.

470
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got too excited. There, my bad down. Thank

471
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,880
Speaker 2: you for pulling it back. Yes, bring it. That's why

472
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 2: Dama is here, y'all. You see you see this? Okay?

473
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 2: The episode eight. Episode eight is about how to find

474
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 2: your own self care routine, and I think currently this

475
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 2: is one of our most popular episodes at this time.

476
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 2: So it sounds like self care is something that a

477
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 2: lot of folks you are trying to figure out, Like,

478
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 2: how do I add self care? Into my life, what

479
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 2: does it look like? How do I do so unapologetically?

480
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 2: And I think the most important thing that we discussed

481
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 2: in that episode is that it really depends on you.

482
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 2: There is no you know, definition of self care that's

483
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 2: all encompassing or that's you know, generalized around the world.

484
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 2: It's like, what what does that mean to you? And

485
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 2: you have the ability to create that for yourself regardless

486
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,680
Speaker 2: of what anyone thinks about that, and.

487
00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 3: No matter what your circumstances are. You you are resourceful

488
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 3: and that is one thing about us that we as

489
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 3: a people, We are very, very resourceful. We've had to

490
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 3: be forced to be resourceful at times, and so that

491
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 3: made sense also creative, and so find ways to get

492
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 3: that self care in. I know, you know, since we

493
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 3: recorded that episode, Terry and I have also been checking

494
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 3: in with one another about our own self care because

495
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 3: again we're not trying to be out here preaching to

496
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 3: y'all and not following these tips ourselves, and so you know,

497
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 3: that is something that we have definitely taken to heart

498
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 3: as well. And I know we really really, at least

499
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 3: for me, I'll speak for myself. I have seen a

500
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,360
Speaker 3: difference for myself in terms of my overall mood by

501
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,199
Speaker 3: really evaluating what I'm doing for self care and what

502
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 3: I may have previously defined as self care and compared

503
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 3: to what I'm doing now.

504
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 2: Yes, I would definitely agree with that, Don And I

505
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 2: will say I don't know if I mentioned this in

506
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 2: episode eight when we talked about self care, but one

507
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 2: thing I've been doing recently is I at the beginning

508
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 2: of the month, I look at the calendar before it

509
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 2: gets all busy and crazy, and I schedule time each

510
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 2: week for self care. And for me that right now

511
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 2: in my life it's a lot about like body and

512
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 2: mind and spirit, and so I am scheduling my massages.

513
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,880
Speaker 2: I am scheduling some acupuncture. If you have not tried acupuncture,

514
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 2: that has been an amazing experience for me. You got

515
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,119
Speaker 2: to look that up and do some research if you

516
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 2: have not, to see if it's you know, if you

517
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 2: can find a place in your area. What I've been

518
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: doing is community acupuncture because it's a lot cheaper than

519
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 2: just having like a one on one session and me

520
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 2: and some random people sit in like lazy boys in

521
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 2: this room at this amazing not spot. But it's like

522
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 2: a I don't know, like a meeting room and we

523
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 2: get our acupuncture where our little blind fold and it's amazing,

524
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 2: like we'll have to go one day together down. Yeah,

525
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 2: because that don't be really cool. It's so relaxing. I

526
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 2: fell asleep last session, which was like very surprising, but yeah,

527
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 2: So schedule your self care before the schedule gets all

528
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 2: crazy and busy. Whatever that looks like for you.

529
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 3: Yes, and so part of that self care also led

530
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 3: us to episode nine, where we talked about how to

531
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 3: set boundaries effectively and remembering that no is a complete sentence.

532
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 3: And what I remember about that episode is that I

533
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 3: think I yelled no multiple times in that episode just

534
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 3: to drive home the point that no really is a

535
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 3: complete sentence and that we have to get better about

536
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 3: setting boundaries. And part of setting those good boundaries is

537
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 3: releasing that guilt that we have from saying no.

538
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: The only thing I want to say about this episode,

539
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 2: I felt you you hit the nail on the head here,

540
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 2: don is that if you remember in episode nine, I

541
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: told you a story about my coach to I, and

542
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 2: I told you this story so hilarious. I told you

543
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 2: the story about the fact that I met with my

544
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 2: coach and she displayed this admirable way of setting a

545
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 2: boundary with me. And what happened was if you didn't

546
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 2: tune into that episode, you got to check it out.

547
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 2: But what I said was, you know, we were ending

548
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 2: our session. It was such a great session, and I

549
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 2: reached to kind of like I opened my arms to

550
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 2: give her a hug, and I something told me to

551
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 2: ask her like can I give you a hug? Open

552
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: my arms? I said, can I give you a hug?

553
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 2: And she's like, oh no, it's okay. And I was like, oh, okay,

554
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 2: my bad, Like okay, cool, and I was like, okay,

555
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 2: I respected her boundary. Blah blah blah. Right, how about

556
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 2: I met with the same coach today, my coach she's awesome,

557
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 2: and I told her that I mentioned her on episode

558
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 2: nine and told her about how it was so like

559
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 2: amazing for me to hear her, you know, set that

560
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 2: boundary for me. And she looked at me like I

561
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 2: was crazy, and she said, Terry, I'm a hugger. I

562
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 2: said wait what I was like, wait, So some kind

563
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 2: of way, I think she misunderstood me, and she may

564
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 2: have thought that I like offered her something and she's like, no, no,

565
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 2: thank you. But basically, long story short, she's actually a hugger,

566
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 2: so we hugged today and that's not a boundary the

567
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 2: violation that she has, and that was just a very

568
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 2: like weird misunderstanding, but it was good for content and

569
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 2: so maybe something that will help someone out there. But

570
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 2: we cracked up about that, and she was like, I

571
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 2: really don't I don't remember that, and I don't really

572
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 2: know what you asked me, but I am definitely a hugger.

573
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 2: And I just thought that was so funny. So I

574
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 2: had to share that with you, I told Dom, and

575
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 2: we just laughed about it, like that is so random

576
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 2: and awkward and okay, but that's how.

577
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: Life works, so duch right, how that our perception of

578
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 3: something might be totally different.

579
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 4: From the awesome person's perception, which.

580
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 3: Is why it's important for us to kind of check

581
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 3: in with one another to see how we're doing with.

582
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 4: I set a boundary, Is that boundary still okay?

583
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 2: With you?

584
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 3: You know, just doing those that quick little checking because

585
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 3: we it may turn out to be a complete misunderstanding.

586
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: And now y'all can get all of yes.

587
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 2: Now we're gonna hug and make up for all the

588
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 2: other times yes, And that takes us to episode ten.

589
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 2: Now and episode ten we talked about thriving with depression,

590
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 2: and I love to talk about this on social media.

591
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 2: You'll notice on my Instagram I talk about it a lot.

592
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 2: Even on the podcast we've talked about it. It's so

593
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 2: important for me to talk about depression because I remember

594
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 2: growing up and being depressed and not seeing people that

595
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 2: look like me with depression. And I feel like depression

596
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 2: sometimes has this look and people think, oh, if you're depressed,

597
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 2: you look this way, and you can't live a fulfilling life.

598
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 2: You can't do this. And I like to tell people,

599
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 2: I'm out here grinding and i still be depressed as

600
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 2: hell some days, and I've been just pushing through and

601
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to therapy, I'm doing my work. But it's

602
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 2: okay if you do have those low moments, I call

603
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 2: them low energy moments sometimes. But if you do have

604
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 2: a moment, it's okay, and you're not alone, and you

605
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 2: can still live your best life and have a career

606
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 2: and have a relationship and do all these things. And

607
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 2: you don't have to put your depression in a box,

608
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 2: if that makes sense, Like it doesn't have to fit

609
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 2: this sort of stereotype that you see in media or elsewhere.

610
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 3: Right, it's okay to talk about it, and it's okay

611
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 3: to ask for help.

612
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 4: I know that sometimes we often struggle.

613
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 3: With asking for help or admitting that there's something that

614
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 3: we're dealing with, and.

615
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:21,239
Speaker 4: It's okay to do that.

616
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 3: And so I remember that episode we talked about like

617
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 3: the different signs to look for, and we also talked

618
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 3: about suicide, and I just want to reiterate that if

619
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 3: you or someone you know is experiencing depression or experiencing

620
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 3: thoughts of suicide, you know, thoughts of death, thoughts of dying,

621
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 3: thoughts of wanting to take your life, know that there

622
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 3: is help out there. Know that there are several suicide

623
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 3: prevention hotline numbers. Know that you can always go to

624
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 3: your emergency wrong. We'll list all of those resources on

625
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 3: our show notes so that you can and be.

626
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,479
Speaker 4: Able to access them at any time.

627
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 3: And so as we move on to episode eleven, we

628
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 3: talked about how to create a dream team for your

629
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 3: life and business. Terry talks to us a little bit

630
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 3: about your dream team.

631
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 2: Yes, so my dream team consists of people that some

632
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 2: people I pay, some are just people in my network

633
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 2: that I depend on. So like my best friend, my

634
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 2: let's see who else, my mom, my husband, my sister.

635
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: I mean, just various people in my life that I

636
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 2: depend on for certain for certain things, whether it's like

637
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: an outlet to vent or support in a certain area

638
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: where I'm like, oh, this person always gives good advice here. Nowadays,

639
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 2: I also have some coaches, you know, maybe a therapist

640
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,280
Speaker 2: or counselor. And so for me, my dream team consists

641
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 2: of all the people that enable me to become my

642
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 2: best self. And I think it's really important for us

643
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 2: to realize that we don't have to do it alone.

644
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 2: I feel like there used to be this little like

645
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 2: this concept or this misconception that oh it's sexy to

646
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 2: like do things on your own and be this one

647
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 2: woman show, and like you got to do all the things,

648
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 2: and no, like nobody got to. I am not superwoman.

649
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 2: I need help. I will ask for help at the

650
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 2: drop of a hat, like come help me, okay, please.

651
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:24,479
Speaker 4: Yes, that's superwoman. That that idea, that myth of being

652
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 4: the superwoman.

653
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 3: Yes, the reality is that no one person does does

654
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 3: everything along. We all have help. Oprah has help, Okay,

655
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 3: the single mom has help, Oprah's help, and the single

656
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 3: mom's help may look different, but we all have help,

657
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 3: and it's about figuring out how to create that community,

658
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 3: that supportive community. And that's what our team looks like.

659
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:03,879
Speaker 3: And whether it's someone that we're paying or someone that

660
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 3: we're bartering our services. I'm offering something to you based

661
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 3: on my strengths, You're offering something to me based on

662
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,280
Speaker 3: your strengths, and together we make a great team.

663
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 2: I love it.

664
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 3: Shout out to our co parenting podcast Relationship. It's about

665
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 3: making the dream.

666
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 2: Work with your team, absolutely, and that leads us to

667
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:34,720
Speaker 2: episode twelve Well, which is about imposter syndrome, or how

668
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 2: to deal when you feel you don't belong. And this

669
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 2: was another really popular episode, and we basically just talked

670
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 2: about imposter syndrome and its effects on our well being

671
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 2: in different ways to come back that, especially as black

672
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: women who often in the professional sense, I think occupy

673
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 2: spaces where we are around people that don't look like us,

674
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 2: and how to show up fully and how to feel

675
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 2: worthy in those spaces. And that was a really fun

676
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 2: episode for me because it's something that I've struggled with

677
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 2: for a while and I feel that for the most part,

678
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 2: I've come along the way and kind of overcome the

679
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 2: in fact, the heaviest part of that. But still, you know,

680
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,399
Speaker 2: sometimes you get in spaces and you're like, h I'm

681
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 2: a little uncomfortable. But being able to recognize that and

682
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 2: be okay with the fact that you feel that way,

683
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 2: I think it's really important.

684
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that no matter where you are in

685
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 3: your career, that may creep up every now and then,

686
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 3: and again, knowing that you're not the only person who's

687
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 3: experienced this and being able to reach out to your

688
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 3: team for support through it can really be helpful as well.

689
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 3: And that brings us to our most recent episode. So

690
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 3: you know, we talked about what to do when you

691
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:53,320
Speaker 3: need to set your own boundaries right. That was episode nine.

692
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 3: So with episode thirteen, we talked about how to not

693
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 3: be a boundary violator, and we touched on a variety

694
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 3: of ways, some big, some small, that we end up

695
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 3: violating each other's boundaries.

696
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 4: One of the ones that I remember.

697
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 3: That Terry and I talked about was not interrupting one

698
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 3: another when we talk, right, and how for those of

699
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 3: us when we're in comfortable conversation with people, sometimes we

700
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 3: just get so excited and we're like oh wait, wait, wait,

701
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 3: I gotta get my word and gotta get my word in.

702
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 4: But how technically that can be a boundary violation?

703
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 3: And one of the things that I've observed is that

704
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 3: Terry and I since recording that episode, we have both

705
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 3: made more conscious efforts in our conversation about kind of

706
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 3: stepping back and giving each other that space to talk

707
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 3: so that we're not necessarily like interrupting the other person

708
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 3: no matter how excited we get.

709
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,359
Speaker 2: Yes, we did talk about that, and the other thing

710
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 2: that I wanted to bring up, I know that. Okay,

711
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 2: So there were a few things as it relates to

712
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 2: violating boundaries. One thing I told you about as a

713
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 2: friend who came to me and said, wait, the one

714
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 2: thing I wanted you to touch on when it comes

715
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 2: to boundaries is what do you do when it's like

716
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 2: a situation where it's like you want to show someone

717
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: that you appreciate something that they have on, or you're

718
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 2: appreciating aspect about them. And so the example that she

719
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,240
Speaker 2: used was I came to work with like a fuzzy

720
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 2: jacket on, and it's one of those jackets where if

721
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 2: someone wears it, you're like kind of tempted to like,

722
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 2: and I say this jokingly, like you kind of attempt

723
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 2: to like violate them. You're like, I want to touch

724
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 2: all over you because it's just so funny and nice.

725
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 2: And in that sense, like I when I wore that jacket,

726
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 2: I didn't mind people touching the jacket and rub because

727
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 2: I get it, Like it was okay. It didn't make

728
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,399
Speaker 2: me feeluncomfortable at all. But I guess if we could

729
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 2: just dive in, like for a quick second, what do

730
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 2: you do in situations where maybe you don't think you're

731
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 2: violating a boundary, or it's in a more of a

732
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 2: positive way, maybe your intention is to be positive or

733
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 2: I know if I'm explaining it the right way, But

734
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 2: it's okay to.

735
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 3: Still ask for permission, right, so you can say to someone,

736
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 3: and I've had people say this to me, I want

737
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,240
Speaker 3: to compliment you on.

738
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 4: The dress that you're wearing, but.

739
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 3: I'm not sure how appropriate it's going to sound if I, like,

740
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 3: if I give you this compliment, And so in a way,

741
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 3: so the words didn't necessarily come out as smoothly, but

742
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 3: that was them asking me for permission to offer me

743
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 3: a compliment, and in that moment I could say, no,

744
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 3: I'm Okay, I get what you're saying. I'd rather you

745
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 3: not continue, or I could say, yeah, okay, well I'm

746
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 3: curious what are you trying to say? You know, and

747
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:54,399
Speaker 3: so just asking for permission. And so for those people

748
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:58,240
Speaker 3: who wanted to touch your jacket, ask you for permission first

749
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 3: to say, hey, hey, till Jack is really cool, can

750
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 3: I touch it?

751
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 4: As simple as that, you just ask for permission.

752
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 2: And this kind of goes back to the other episode.

753
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 2: If you do say something, and maybe you don't ask

754
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:15,399
Speaker 2: for permission and you just volunteer something, ideally the person

755
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 2: will let you know, like, you know, I appreciate your

756
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 2: intention there, but that's I appreciate it. If you didn't

757
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 2: do X Y Z right, hopefully the person will let

758
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 2: you know so that you know that you don't have

759
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,879
Speaker 2: this awkward sort of vibe when you get around them.

760
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 2: The other thing we wanted to talk about is the

761
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 2: Wendy Williams. We talked about Wendy Williams, and we talked

762
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 2: and there's like that case or that that situation has

763
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 2: more developing details that we won't even dive into today

764
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 2: because this is not a gossip podcast, but I do

765
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 2: want to talk about you know, we talked about substance

766
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 2: abuse and if someone if we believe that someone might

767
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 2: be being harmed in that relationship, I think that there's

768
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 2: like a balance when it comes to boundaries. Yes, we

769
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 2: want to respect someone's boundaries, but if you believe that

770
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 2: someone's being harmed or there's something wrong in a situation,

771
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 2: I think you still ask.

772
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 3: So you can say to that person, hey, this is

773
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:15,359
Speaker 3: something that I've noticed. What assistance do you need? So

774
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 3: that gives them That puts the onus on them to

775
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 3: be able to identify how they would like for you

776
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 3: to help. So you're not you're putting yourself out there

777
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 3: by saying, hey, I noticed something.

778
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 4: I care about you.

779
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:37,240
Speaker 3: How can I help without coming in and further violate

780
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 3: and further violating their boundary by saying by assuming that

781
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 3: one that they want your help and two that you

782
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 3: know exactly what type of help that they need. What

783
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 3: I will say though, is that there are times when

784
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 3: it's all a fine line.

785
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 4: And so when someone is in immediate.

786
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 3: Danger, so so you see that they potentially overdosed on

787
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 3: the substance, or you see that they have made a

788
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 3: suicide attempt or about to make a suicide, attempt when

789
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 3: you see that they have been physically injured in some

790
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 3: other way, when that person's when someone's life is in

791
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:25,080
Speaker 3: immediate danger, it is okay, it is necessary, it is

792
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 3: required to violate the boundary to get them the help

793
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 3: that they need. They may be upset with you in

794
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 3: the moment, but if you are witnessing their life being

795
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 3: in danger, save their life, violate the boundary in that

796
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,399
Speaker 3: moment to get them the help that they need.

797
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: You've heard it straight from the therapist's mouth. I love it.

798
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:55,720
Speaker 2: That was the perfect and that basically concludes our season finale,

799
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 2: and we just want to take a quick moment to

800
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 2: talk about the future of Space and some ideas that

801
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,320
Speaker 2: we have. But here's the thing, Okay, if we share

802
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 2: this with you, we're gonna need your feedback because we're

803
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,720
Speaker 2: not doing any of this for us. This is literally

804
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,839
Speaker 2: for you. It's for our community. And so a few

805
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 2: ideas that we have, and again, send us an email,

806
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 2: Hit us up on social media, on Instagram, on Twitter,

807
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 2: We're everywhere. Hit us up at her Space podcast on

808
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 2: all those channels. We want to do live shows, like

809
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 2: we want to go on tour at some point, and

810
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 2: do you know pop up in different cities, so let

811
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 2: us know where you're located, let us know where you

812
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 2: want us to go. And we think the college university

813
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 2: setting would really be ideal because that's where we can

814
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 2: get a lot of students and make a great impact.

815
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 2: So of your in a space or at a university

816
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 2: and you're interested in that, let us know. We're thinking

817
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 2: about doing Instagram lives and Facebook lives where we do

818
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 2: a live episode or chat with you there, but we

819
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 2: want you to join us and provide feedback and ask questions.

820
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 2: And then we are thinking about a her Space podcast

821
00:44:56,719 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 2: retreat or conference some sometime in twenty twenty. And we're

822
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: not gonna give away too many ideas, but we it's

823
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 2: gonna be dope. Okay, it is going to be lit.

824
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 2: If you like the podcast, if you like the vibe,

825
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 2: if you like the energy that you get from listening

826
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 2: to this podcast, you are going to want to be

827
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 2: at our live event.

828
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,240
Speaker 3: Okay that yeah, it's gonna be a don't miss event.

829
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 3: Like you're gonna be hearing about it mm hm. And

830
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:26,959
Speaker 3: you don't want to be the person that's hearing about

831
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 3: it exactly.

832
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 2: You want to be there. You wanna be the one

833
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 2: with the with the hashtags and the pictures and all that.

834
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:33,359
Speaker 2: So this is just a few ideas that we have.

835
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 2: And as far as season two, Yo, we already have

836
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:42,879
Speaker 2: a bomb ass guest lined up for Season two episode one,

837
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 2: and I'm just tell them a little bit, just give

838
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 2: them a little teaser about what we're gonna talk about

839
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,839
Speaker 2: in that first episode coming out next week, right s.

840
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 4: E X y'all you're talking about sex.

841
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 2: Yes, we are. We're talking about all the sex. We're

842
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 2: talking about a lot of topics that you may not

843
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 2: hear everywhere else, like we want to die? Are we

844
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,760
Speaker 2: diving in? I don't know. We're going to dive into

845
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: some topics. We might dive into some topics that could

846
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 2: be very healing. I mean I feel like yeah. I mean,

847
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 2: based on the agenda and based on the guests that

848
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 2: we have, I have a feeling that if you have

849
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 2: enjoyed the content thus far, this first episode of season two,

850
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,720
Speaker 2: which airs next week, is going to be an episode

851
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 2: you do not want to miss. This is one of

852
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 2: those episodes where you're gonna want to call your mama

853
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 2: and your auntie and your cousin and your friends, Like

854
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 2: you're gonna call your girls and have a girls listening

855
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 2: party for this episode. It's really going to be real

856
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 2: and it's also going to be healing, and that's all

857
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 2: we're gonna say. But it's really good. So so don't

858
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 2: miss out.

859
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 3: And make sure when you listen to that episode to

860
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 3: please get us up. Like we keep saying it, but

861
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 3: we want it. We want to really engage you all

862
00:46:54,520 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 3: because it's her Space, it's a space for you, it's

863
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 3: a space for all of us, and we want to

864
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 3: be able to hear from you, to interact with you all.

865
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:13,720
Speaker 3: So definitely, definitely after you hear this episode next week,

866
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 3: and even if you want to go back and listen

867
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 3: to previous episodes from season one and you have follow

868
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 3: up questions, feel free to hit us up on any

869
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 3: of our social media channels or send us an email

870
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 3: and we would be happy to answer your questions.

871
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 2: We're waiting for you hopefully.

872
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,800
Speaker 4: Thanks for joining us today in Her Space. Please note

873
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 4: that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice,

874
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:46,360
Speaker 4: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no

875
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 4: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal

876
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:53,799
Speaker 4: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you are

877
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 4: someone you know is in need of mental health care.

878
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 4: Please visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory today or

879
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 4: contact your insurance provider.

880
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

881
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

882
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:17,320
Speaker 2: Twitter at her space podcast or check out our website

883
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 2: at herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat

884
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 2: after me, I am not defined by where I come

885
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 2: from or what happened to me. I get to create

886
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 2: my own destiny.

887
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 4: Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week.

888
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 2: Lady