WEBVTT - Matt James

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, everybody, and welcome robes and TJ here and Bachelor

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<v Speaker 1>Nation stand up robes. You're excited. Season twenty eight of

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<v Speaker 1>The Bachelor just launched. His name is Joey. But as

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<v Speaker 1>Emma just explaining our wonderful producer here, who is twenty

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<v Speaker 1>two years old. I say that because it's relevant to

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<v Speaker 1>most of the conversations we have about Emma. She said, no,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not Joey. It's hot Joey.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he's hot, that's what she told us. Yes, he

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<v Speaker 2>plays tennis and he's hot.

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<v Speaker 3>The tennis guy.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's still remarkable. Whether you love it, hate it,

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<v Speaker 1>like it, indifferent to it, it's a phenomenon that's been

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<v Speaker 1>around since two thousand and two, now twenty eight seasons

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<v Speaker 1>of The Bachelor, twenty seasons of The Bachelorette.

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<v Speaker 2>I believe it is, yeah, and it's entertaining. Also even

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<v Speaker 2>Bachelor in Paradise, which might be my favorite iteration of

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<v Speaker 2>the franchise, but I actually was looking it up today.

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<v Speaker 2>It is remarkable how many relations and ships, marriages, engagements,

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<v Speaker 2>children were born from this show. So it's yes, it's

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<v Speaker 2>fun to watch, but it actually has produced fairly impressive results.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm actually surprised by it.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so I was thrown off as we were getting

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<v Speaker 1>ready today because this is a Bachelor themed I shouldn't say,

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<v Speaker 1>as a Bachelor themed we have one of the most popular,

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<v Speaker 1>most famous, most talked about bachelors in the franchise history

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<v Speaker 1>sitting in the room with us. We were going to

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<v Speaker 1>talk to mad James here in the second he's sitting

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<v Speaker 1>here with a big old smile on his face. But

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<v Speaker 1>to you, I didn't realize when I'm looking up the

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<v Speaker 1>success rate of the Bachelor franchise, I'm looking to see

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<v Speaker 1>how many people on the Bachelor got married, I mean

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<v Speaker 1>on the Bachelorette. I didn't realize that the numbers are

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<v Speaker 1>inflated because they do count Bachelor in Paradise. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>even know, of course it counted.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I didn't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry, educate yourself. No, I'm kidding.

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<v Speaker 2>No, But I was really impressed by the couples that

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<v Speaker 2>are still together.

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<v Speaker 3>Those numbers are still low.

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<v Speaker 2>We should say, well, I mean, maybe my expectations were low.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually I was surprised. I shouldn't say. They haven't had

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<v Speaker 1>as many seasons of the Bachelor in Paradise, so they

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<v Speaker 1>do have a pretty good percentage as far as folks

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<v Speaker 1>staying together, getting together, getting married, which is great, but

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<v Speaker 1>the others don't have as great a track record. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's fine, but it's it's still no matter what, I

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<v Speaker 1>am blown away. I've only watched one season, full season of.

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<v Speaker 4>Either or Off.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a Bachelorette as a season I watched Have

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<v Speaker 1>You Committed To? A full season before.

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<v Speaker 2>The first one with Trista and Ryan. I was really

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<v Speaker 2>into that all those years ago. And then obviously, for

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<v Speaker 2>what we did for a living, we were constantly interviewing contestants,

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<v Speaker 2>so I watched episodes here and there, but for the

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<v Speaker 2>full season. In fact, for a while, my kids, even

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<v Speaker 2>when they were younger, we would have fun watching it

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<v Speaker 2>as a family. So it actually is family viewing because

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<v Speaker 2>you're learning about relationships and how people interact with each other.

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<v Speaker 1>It's it's interesting see that. I don't think it gets

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<v Speaker 1>credit for what you just said. People often it's just reality,

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<v Speaker 1>it's trash TV, or this isn't how you're supposed to

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<v Speaker 1>find love? How can any of this work out? But

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<v Speaker 1>I think you hit on something. No matter what I think,

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<v Speaker 1>we're all still we want love to work. We are rooting.

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<v Speaker 1>We have this hope in this no matter what, and

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<v Speaker 1>then we get cynical later. Sure, but I think it's original.

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<v Speaker 1>We are rooting for people and we were rooting for love, right.

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<v Speaker 2>I totally agree, And I find that I learn about

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<v Speaker 2>communication when I'm watching these shows. Maybe that sounds silly,

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<v Speaker 2>but I do think people's emotions when I'm watching it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's legit, it's real. It mirrors life.

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<v Speaker 1>This is how you learn to communicat in a relationships.

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<v Speaker 1>But I want to see how we're having problems many.

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<v Speaker 2>Other times, so do you. But how many times do

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<v Speaker 2>you actually get to watch other couples communicate? I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>you really get to watch it. And I know cameras

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<v Speaker 2>are there and it is in part fantasy, but there

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<v Speaker 2>is some real realness to those conversations that I found

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<v Speaker 2>to be an interesting and insightful.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes do you find you were turned off, maybe from

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<v Speaker 1>the franchise because of what we did for a living

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<v Speaker 1>and where we worked. We were inundated with it all

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<v Speaker 1>the time, so it almost felt like we were rebels, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh God, I got it. I don't want to have

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<v Speaker 1>to go I'm in work all day with this and

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<v Speaker 1>have to hear I don't want to go home.

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<v Speaker 3>And it was homework.

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<v Speaker 2>It was homework in a sense, but then if you

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<v Speaker 2>really actually sit down and watch it, I found it

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<v Speaker 2>to be not just entertaining, but fascinating and interesting too

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<v Speaker 2>on top of it.

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<v Speaker 1>So I only watched one season, and the one season

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<v Speaker 1>I watched was the season The Bachelorette of Rachel Lindsay.

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<v Speaker 1>I watched it from start to finish, every single second

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<v Speaker 1>of every single episode. I didn't realize she was a

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<v Speaker 1>contestant on the previous Bachelor season and she didn't get picked,

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<v Speaker 1>so then they made her the Bachelorette. I found this

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<v Speaker 1>out as I was on my way to work one morning.

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<v Speaker 1>I was on sixth Avenue about to make it left

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<v Speaker 1>on the forty fifth.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, this left an impression with you.

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<v Speaker 1>It did, and you'll see why it is because I saw, Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>they're gonna have the first ever black lead. And the

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<v Speaker 1>first thoughts I had were, Oh, God, that poor girl,

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<v Speaker 1>because I knew what might be coming her way as

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<v Speaker 1>the first right and most of the contestants they were

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<v Speaker 1>going to give were probably not going to be black.

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<v Speaker 1>And what my mind started being concerned for her as

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<v Speaker 1>I was getting closer to the studio. I see the rundown.

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<v Speaker 1>Rachel Lindsay is on the show that day, so she's

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<v Speaker 1>in the studio. I had no idea. I walked in

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<v Speaker 1>and I immediately went looking for her. Rachel never met

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<v Speaker 1>her before. I found her dressing room where she was

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<v Speaker 1>getting hair and makeup done. I walked in, I closed

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<v Speaker 1>the door behind me. The first words I ever spoke

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<v Speaker 1>to Rachel Lindsay were, sister, I'm worried about you. And

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<v Speaker 1>she never met didn't know who I was, and she understood,

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<v Speaker 1>and she's been my girl ever since, and we have

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<v Speaker 1>We've been good for him because of that, because of

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<v Speaker 1>an understanding that you being a first and how this

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<v Speaker 1>show has gone about doing its business up to this point.

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<v Speaker 1>I was worried about her. Matt, I apologize. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>get a chance to have that conversation with you before

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<v Speaker 1>you went on your venture. Everybody, please welcome mister Matt James.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Thank you, of course, the first black bachelor

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<v Speaker 1>in franchise history. Before we get into a whole bunch

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<v Speaker 1>of stuff, how committed are you to the Beard?

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<v Speaker 4>The Beard's on his last leg? Really, the Beard's on

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<v Speaker 4>his last leg? Why? Just because as as I've evolved

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<v Speaker 4>in my affinity for running. I've I run in the cold,

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<v Speaker 4>I running all the elements. So it really is like

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<v Speaker 4>a natural built in weather proofer all the elements and

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<v Speaker 4>think about that. Yeah, so as it gets warmer, I'm

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<v Speaker 4>like a bear. I'm just gonna start shedding hibernation first.

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<v Speaker 4>So it's coming.

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<v Speaker 3>What does Rachel think of the beard?

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<v Speaker 4>Rachel's supportive and everything, so like she's so nice about it.

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<v Speaker 4>She's like, it looks good and she's never.

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<v Speaker 3>Ever told me to come, but she said it like that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I can read between the lines.

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<v Speaker 4>It might be it might be time and preface throwing

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<v Speaker 4>it with like Rachel if it ever becomes an issue,

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<v Speaker 4>like I don't care that much about it, Like it's

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<v Speaker 4>no sentimental value, Like this thing can go. And she's like, okay,

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<v Speaker 4>so when are we cutting it? It'll come soon.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like your kid bringing home like a drawing from

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<v Speaker 1>school and they want to put it up on the refrigerator.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, it's nice. That's how she feels about the beer.

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<v Speaker 4>I think she just thinks there's looks that that suit

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<v Speaker 4>me better. And the beard is again, it's a means

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<v Speaker 4>for the running. If I wasn't running in the cold,

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<v Speaker 4>I probably would have cut along.

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<v Speaker 1>So wait a minute, you really telling me that this

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<v Speaker 1>was all a matter of function, not appearance, not vanity,

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<v Speaker 1>not you only look. Really, I did not know that.

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<v Speaker 4>My first go around with the beard, that was like

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<v Speaker 4>a stressed beard where I just had like massive beard

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<v Speaker 4>right after the show. So that was the function for that.

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<v Speaker 4>But now it's like I grew it out. I kind

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<v Speaker 4>of liked it, and it's gotten colder. It's been very

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<v Speaker 4>easy to run, but now it's it can go robes.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you hearing this right? It sounds like it might

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<v Speaker 1>be going soon.

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<v Speaker 2>I definitely think it's going to be gone soon. I

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<v Speaker 2>have to say, I do like you clean, shave and

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<v Speaker 2>better see.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like that's most you know those women, Yeah, most.

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<v Speaker 2>I just wonder about the hygiene involved with the beard.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I have questions, but I don't need them answer.

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<v Speaker 3>It's okay. I'm looking at them different.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah. No, I learned a lot about beard hygiene through

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<v Speaker 4>my first my first beard, and I didn't know how

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<v Speaker 4>to take care of it. But now I've got all

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<v Speaker 4>the grooming done it, I'm washing it, I'm oiling.

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<v Speaker 3>It just seems like a lot of work.

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<v Speaker 4>It is a lot of work, but the latter is

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<v Speaker 4>very unpleasant. So I gotta take care do you get

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<v Speaker 4>a lot of food in it?

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<v Speaker 1>And I ask you that because if anybody follows you

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<v Speaker 1>on Instagram, you are eating I don't know, sixteen hours

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<v Speaker 1>of the day.

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<v Speaker 4>Perhaps it's it's honestly, it's that's probably the biggest issue,

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<v Speaker 4>is someone not telling you that there's something so and

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<v Speaker 4>it's just disgusting. Like if you've ever been around anybody

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<v Speaker 4>that has something on their face or in their teeth,

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<v Speaker 4>Like I'm just walking around with mustard in my beard

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<v Speaker 4>and everyone just kind of looking at me like, oh

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<v Speaker 4>my goodness. Yeah, that's things like that. I'm like, man,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm kind of ready for this to go too.

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<v Speaker 3>All right, all right, that's exciting. So, by the way,

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<v Speaker 3>where is your better half?

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<v Speaker 4>Like most weekends, she is on her way to a wedding. Yes,

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<v Speaker 4>she's on a weddo wedding. I didn't even know was

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<v Speaker 4>wedding season. I guess wedding season's three sixty five.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, yeah, man, she's right in that sweet spot right

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<v Speaker 1>of age where so many friends from college hitting a

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<v Speaker 1>certain age and getting married and there's a wedding every

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<v Speaker 1>single weekend, it seems.

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<v Speaker 2>How does she feel about going to a wedding without

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<v Speaker 2>her plus one?

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<v Speaker 4>That's a great question. There's so many of them that

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<v Speaker 4>if I went to every single wedding that I would

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<v Speaker 4>miss out on previous engagements. And I had a lot

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<v Speaker 4>going on this week in New York. One of those

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<v Speaker 4>highlights being to come see you all.

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<v Speaker 3>So wait, don't blame.

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<v Speaker 4>Us, Sorry, Rachel, what the hell? Hey, hey, Rachel, baby,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm sorry. This is on TJ and Amy, I was Rachel.

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<v Speaker 4>We gave him next week as an option to Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Speaking of weddings, how many times do you get

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<v Speaker 2>that question a day? Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Man?

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<v Speaker 4>It depends on how many people we see. It's constant,

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<v Speaker 4>but I get it. I mean, we are Our relationship

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<v Speaker 4>and love was so public and is still so public

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<v Speaker 4>that everyone has a vested interest in and when that's happening,

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<v Speaker 4>and I tell most people, and I'll tell y'all, we

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<v Speaker 4>wouldn't be together if that wasn't the end goal. And

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<v Speaker 4>the longer we've been together, the more of a reality

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<v Speaker 4>that is becoming, and especially when we go to weddings

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<v Speaker 4>together and we start to bounce ideas off each other,

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<v Speaker 4>we just kind of start to create our own perfect wedding,

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<v Speaker 4>which is fun. So when we leave places and venues

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<v Speaker 4>and travel and countries are like, would you want to

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<v Speaker 4>get married over here? It's like, yeah, do.

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<v Speaker 3>You have a list of just your thinking destination wedding?

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<v Speaker 4>What I say doesn't matter, whatever it's going to be

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<v Speaker 4>wherever and whatever she wants, which is fitting. But I

0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:03.480
<v Speaker 4>think that a destination wedding would be amazing, and I

0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:05.920
<v Speaker 4>think that she slow to that idea too, just because

0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:09.079
<v Speaker 4>we have so many people that we'd want to enjoy

0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:13.120
<v Speaker 4>that with us, and if you have a destination wedding,

0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:16.720
<v Speaker 4>it kind of trims it down a little bit. Listen,

0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:22.320
<v Speaker 4>the weddings are expensive. Weddings are expensive, So it's something

0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:24.240
<v Speaker 4>that we talk about and it's not something that we're

0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.840
<v Speaker 4>not like having conversations about all.

0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:29.240
<v Speaker 1>Warm weather destination. Now now I'm not assuming we are

0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.160
<v Speaker 1>going to be on the invite list, but it's a

0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:33.160
<v Speaker 1>warm weather destination.

0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:34.840
<v Speaker 4>You all look at it, right? Yeah, for sure?

0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:37.920
<v Speaker 3>For sure? Definitely no beard, no beard, no beard, no beard.

0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:39.600
<v Speaker 4>I couldn't get away with the beer for the wedding.

0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:42.960
<v Speaker 2>I will say, though no one else can see your face.

0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:44.760
<v Speaker 2>But when you were just talking about it.

0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:45.400
<v Speaker 3>It was sweet.

0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:47.760
<v Speaker 2>Your face lit up, there was a warmth, like it

0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:50.679
<v Speaker 2>was a really cool thing to see how warmly you

0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:54.920
<v Speaker 2>talk about it. Despite having to constantly talk about it,

0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.480
<v Speaker 2>I can still see it's an exciting thing to look

0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:00.360
<v Speaker 2>forward to that you're planning and you're developing, and I

0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:04.280
<v Speaker 2>don't know what. You fell in love in front of everyone.

0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:08.480
<v Speaker 2>Your entire relationship was exposed in front of everyone. How

0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.240
<v Speaker 2>have you dealt You were a real estate agent before this,

0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.360
<v Speaker 2>how have you dealt with the public pressure of being

0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:18.840
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship. I mean, yes, people are rooting for you,

0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:20.840
<v Speaker 2>but what is that like?

0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:26.200
<v Speaker 4>Oo? I dealt with it very poorly. Initially. You just

0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.640
<v Speaker 4>try to do things to appease people, and that's just

0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:33.360
<v Speaker 4>a very dangerous path to go on because you can't

0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:36.240
<v Speaker 4>make anybody happy. It's hard enough to make your partner happy.

0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.360
<v Speaker 4>So like doing things in the consideration of others is

0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:43.360
<v Speaker 4>just as a non starter. So we started living for

0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:46.520
<v Speaker 4>each other and we focused on each other and we

0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.280
<v Speaker 4>just stayed out of the nonsense. And I think that's

0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:53.760
<v Speaker 4>where we thrive, and that's why we're not allowed. That's

0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:56.120
<v Speaker 4>why we're not around a lot like there's so many

0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:58.920
<v Speaker 4>things that go on in that reality world and bachelor

0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.640
<v Speaker 4>world that you're pulled into because you know you'll always

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.720
<v Speaker 4>be a part of it. I'm getting sent stuff daily

0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:11.040
<v Speaker 4>from people and getting tagged and stuff. But our relationship

0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:13.680
<v Speaker 4>is strong because we focus on each other.

0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:18.160
<v Speaker 1>You say focus on each other now, but you use

0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.319
<v Speaker 1>that word appease others outside of the relationship. Where did

0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:24.000
<v Speaker 1>you find that you were making some missteps and doing

0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:27.840
<v Speaker 1>something personally or doing something with her or in relation

0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:32.120
<v Speaker 1>to your relationship that was for somebody outside of the relationship.

0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:38.960
<v Speaker 4>I think that you take advice from people who aren't married,

0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.840
<v Speaker 4>aren't family, don't know what it means to be in

0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:46.640
<v Speaker 4>a healthy relationship. So you're taking in all this outside

0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:50.200
<v Speaker 4>noise that is just noise, and you've got to decipher,

0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:54.160
<v Speaker 4>like what's the basis of their advice, Like is it

0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.679
<v Speaker 4>selfishly they just want to see a ribbons hide on

0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:00.240
<v Speaker 4>this experience that they all went through with you, and

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:02.880
<v Speaker 4>they're just it's a selfish thing, or they're like they

0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:04.640
<v Speaker 4>actually want the best for you, and the people that

0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:08.560
<v Speaker 4>want the best for us have never put pressure on

0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:15.040
<v Speaker 4>our relationship. And with that type of relationship, to those

0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:19.240
<v Speaker 4>people were more susceptible to what they have to say

0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:21.000
<v Speaker 4>because we know they're coming at it from love and

0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:22.840
<v Speaker 4>from someone who cares about as opposed to someone that

0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:26.360
<v Speaker 4>just like that really doesn't care. Because there's so much

0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.720
<v Speaker 4>turnover in the franchise that you know there's going to

0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:31.560
<v Speaker 4>be the next person, the next person, the next person,

0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:35.560
<v Speaker 4>so that end goal will come to them at some point,

0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:39.680
<v Speaker 4>and as someone who had been in that situation, you

0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:43.520
<v Speaker 4>feel the pressure to make that happen. And I'm not

0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 4>gonna call anybody out, but as you've seen over the

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:51.120
<v Speaker 4>past couple of seasons, just because the show ends out

0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:55.960
<v Speaker 4>a certain way doesn't necessarily mean that that relationship is

0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:57.240
<v Speaker 4>going to withstand the test of time.

0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:01.440
<v Speaker 2>And conversely, you all had broken up when you were

0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:04.560
<v Speaker 2>doing the After the Rose the Reunion special. You all

0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:08.160
<v Speaker 2>weren't together and then look what happened. I guess started

0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:11.400
<v Speaker 2>backstage and then a month later. Do you feel any

0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.920
<v Speaker 2>public pressure to stay together?

0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:17.480
<v Speaker 4>I don't think so. I don't think Rachel feels that either.

0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:19.320
<v Speaker 4>I mean, when you've been together as long as we have,

0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:25.280
<v Speaker 4>there's love there. You know you can't you could fake something,

0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.120
<v Speaker 4>but for so long and you see it with people

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:31.400
<v Speaker 4>who were together. But I think anyone who's been around

0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:34.280
<v Speaker 4>Rachel and I can tell that we were made for

0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.320
<v Speaker 4>each other. Which is crazy because during the show, you

0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:42.760
<v Speaker 4>know everything. So you made a point earlier about you

0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:46.320
<v Speaker 4>and TJ were talking about having learned about couples communicating

0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:50.360
<v Speaker 4>while watching people communicate on the show. You can't run

0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.760
<v Speaker 4>away from tough conversations like you can in the real world.

0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:54.840
<v Speaker 4>Like in the real world, if I wasn't going to

0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:57.800
<v Speaker 4>talk to somebody like back then, I would have just

0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:00.280
<v Speaker 4>not texted them back and like, I'm sorry, but that's

0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:03.440
<v Speaker 4>my honest answer, Like I wasn't gonna Hey can we

0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.320
<v Speaker 4>meet up? Hey, I don't think we should be together?

0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:07.400
<v Speaker 4>Are you okay? Okay, let me walk you out, Like

0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:10.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm not doing that. I'm like, the easiest way for

0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:12.640
<v Speaker 4>me to confront that was just to I'm never gonna

0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:14.440
<v Speaker 4>talk to them again. I'm not saying that was the

0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.320
<v Speaker 4>right way, but like going through those experiences on the

0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:18.960
<v Speaker 4>show has helped.

0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:21.480
<v Speaker 2>You had to break up with people, Yeah, to their face,

0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:23.480
<v Speaker 2>it's the worst and put them in a car.

0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:26.160
<v Speaker 4>Do we have to relive that?

0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:28.520
<v Speaker 3>You know what?

0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.440
<v Speaker 1>She makes a good point back to the breaking up.

0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:44.240
<v Speaker 1>I know bechelation is an enormous nation, and I know

0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.200
<v Speaker 1>you constantly get inundated with things, but do you ever

0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:50.440
<v Speaker 1>hear from anyone do you continue any friendships from people

0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:53.720
<v Speaker 1>that were on your season, and even any of them

0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:56.960
<v Speaker 1>try to give you any advice about what you're doing.

0:16:57.160 --> 0:17:00.920
<v Speaker 4>You made a very interesting point when you were talking

0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:04.600
<v Speaker 4>about that connection that you and Rachel Lindsay had just

0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:07.520
<v Speaker 4>off of the few words you shared before the interview,

0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:11.040
<v Speaker 4>haven't never met each other, And I think Rachel and

0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:14.280
<v Speaker 4>I have a similar relationship. Rachel Lindsay, she was the

0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:16.920
<v Speaker 4>last person I spoke with before they took my phone

0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.600
<v Speaker 4>and before I went out into this like super foreign experience,

0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.080
<v Speaker 4>and she gave me some of the best advice that

0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:27.320
<v Speaker 4>helped shape the decisions I made during that time. And

0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.919
<v Speaker 4>that was off, that was out of the kindness of

0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:33.879
<v Speaker 4>her heart, Like we didn't know each other, like she

0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:37.320
<v Speaker 4>had just seen me on social or like heard through

0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:40.080
<v Speaker 4>the grapevine. She had a better relationship with the woman

0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:41.680
<v Speaker 4>who didn't want me on the show than she did

0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.000
<v Speaker 4>with me. And because I was supposed to be on

0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:49.240
<v Speaker 4>another woman's show who ultimately didn't work out, and so

0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:51.399
<v Speaker 4>Rachel reached out to me, and I was like, dang,

0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:55.240
<v Speaker 4>like this is. I spoke with a bunch of different

0:17:56.720 --> 0:18:00.280
<v Speaker 4>former contestants Bachelor's Batch, mostly Bachelor's. I didn't sach out

0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:04.040
<v Speaker 4>to any Basarettes, but I had Nick Vaiao reach out.

0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:06.920
<v Speaker 4>I talked wells. I talked to Ben Higgins, like people

0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:09.879
<v Speaker 4>who I still look up to and respect, And it

0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:12.679
<v Speaker 4>was just something different about the Rachel Lindsay conversation, just

0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.439
<v Speaker 4>because she I think she could relate and feel the

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 4>pressures and the weight of that stage and what it

0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:26.639
<v Speaker 4>meant for a lot of people. So yeah, me and Rachel,

0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:29.600
<v Speaker 4>we don't talk every day, but whenever she's in New York,

0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:33.720
<v Speaker 4>she'll reach out to me. I hosted and mediated her

0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:36.679
<v Speaker 4>second book conversation, So we have a good relationship.

0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:38.680
<v Speaker 1>You know, I have to since we're talking about Rachel Lindsay.

0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:40.440
<v Speaker 1>I think that news has been out there and everybody

0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:43.320
<v Speaker 1>knows now she is split with the guy she ended

0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.240
<v Speaker 1>up with after her season, her husband that her to

0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:48.760
<v Speaker 1>be going through divorce proceedings. What is your reaction to,

0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:53.560
<v Speaker 1>not necessarily just that they broke up, but the reaction

0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:58.520
<v Speaker 1>that has been out there to her splitting you Being

0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:00.840
<v Speaker 1>in the unique position you are where people are rooting

0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:02.399
<v Speaker 1>for you or waiting for you to break up. I

0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:03.520
<v Speaker 1>want to put a bull on it. I think is

0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:05.679
<v Speaker 1>how you said it? What do you think about what

0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.480
<v Speaker 1>you're seeing and how people I've reacted to? What was

0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:11.919
<v Speaker 1>I guess a polarizing couple of in a lot of ways,

0:19:12.240 --> 0:19:14.000
<v Speaker 1>now splitting after.

0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:18.200
<v Speaker 4>Four years, I'm heartbroken for I think that a lot

0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:22.880
<v Speaker 4>of people look at these, you know, reality relationships as

0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:27.120
<v Speaker 4>you know, is that like it's just a fictional thing

0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:31.240
<v Speaker 4>and there's real emotions there. They were married, like people

0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:32.359
<v Speaker 4>forget that they were married.

0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:35.680
<v Speaker 1>They moved into like move across country.

0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:38.280
<v Speaker 4>I think that people don't look at the union of

0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:41.040
<v Speaker 4>marriage the same with those type of people, and they're

0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:44.199
<v Speaker 4>no different from from anybody else. So, along with an

0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:48.280
<v Speaker 4>answer to say I was heartbroken for because those it

0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:50.040
<v Speaker 4>was hard enough to break up with someone that I

0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:52.320
<v Speaker 4>barely knew on the Bachelor, Like I couldn't imagine having

0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:54.960
<v Speaker 4>that type of a conversation with someone that you know,

0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:56.600
<v Speaker 4>you were planning to spend the rest of your life with.

0:19:57.080 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 4>So I haven't spoken to her, just out of respect

0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:02.680
<v Speaker 4>of or her situation, but I've been praying for and

0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:05.560
<v Speaker 4>it's just sad like I don't want I root for

0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:10.199
<v Speaker 4>love and you know it's devastating. I can't imagine what

0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:10.920
<v Speaker 4>they're going through.

0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:13.119
<v Speaker 1>And can I say to you and you will be

0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:13.840
<v Speaker 1>on board with this.

0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:15.720
<v Speaker 3>I was the same way.

0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:17.320
<v Speaker 1>Rachel and I have been closed for a long time,

0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:20.280
<v Speaker 1>but when everything was going on, my initial reaction was

0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:22.359
<v Speaker 1>to let me hold that, let me give her a beat, and.

0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:23.080
<v Speaker 4>Just stay out of the way.

0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:25.640
<v Speaker 3>And then I thought about you.

0:20:25.800 --> 0:20:28.200
<v Speaker 1>I thought about Montel, I thought about Chuck, I thought

0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:30.240
<v Speaker 1>about Halle, I thought about Candy, I thought about I

0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:31.920
<v Speaker 1>thought about all the people when I was going through

0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:34.040
<v Speaker 1>hell and nobody knew what the hell to say to me.

0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:37.160
<v Speaker 1>It made a difference that you picked up the phone

0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:39.719
<v Speaker 1>and sent that message. It made a difference to just

0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:42.160
<v Speaker 1>get that and I have. I've talked to Rachel since

0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:46.000
<v Speaker 1>all this went down, and just it means everything when

0:20:46.400 --> 0:20:49.400
<v Speaker 1>you're going through hell to hear and I know I'm

0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:50.720
<v Speaker 1>not getting on to you for it, but I know

0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:53.719
<v Speaker 1>exactly the position you were sitting in, and I assure

0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:54.680
<v Speaker 1>you she wants to hear from you.

0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:58.720
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I needed to hear that because I think about

0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:00.880
<v Speaker 4>it selfishly, I'm like, oh, I need to say something

0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:03.000
<v Speaker 4>to her, but it's like it's like what is what

0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:05.440
<v Speaker 4>is she need at this moment? And like what And

0:21:05.840 --> 0:21:07.439
<v Speaker 4>I saw that she recently posted that she did a

0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:11.639
<v Speaker 4>girl ship, which I'm through them. I'm super excited for

0:21:11.640 --> 0:21:13.639
<v Speaker 4>her because you need in that moment the people to

0:21:13.680 --> 0:21:15.440
<v Speaker 4>come around you. And like you were saying, when you

0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:19.919
<v Speaker 4>were going through what you were going through, like we

0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:25.200
<v Speaker 4>at the time, we didn't have the strongest or best

0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:27.600
<v Speaker 4>relationship just because we hadn't known each other for long,

0:21:27.640 --> 0:21:32.720
<v Speaker 4>but the way that we first met and interacted, like

0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:37.159
<v Speaker 4>I just it was something in my spirit that I

0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:39.280
<v Speaker 4>just looked up to you, like the way that you

0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:44.280
<v Speaker 4>handled everything that I was going through and our relationship

0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:49.119
<v Speaker 4>with grace and guidance, and it honestly inspired me to

0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:51.520
<v Speaker 4>want to pursue what you were doing. I wanted to

0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:53.440
<v Speaker 4>be you.

0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:54.720
<v Speaker 3>Do you still want to be him?

0:21:54.880 --> 0:21:55.639
<v Speaker 4>I still want.

0:21:55.520 --> 0:21:57.200
<v Speaker 3>To be you can do better?

0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:03.160
<v Speaker 4>So but yeah, no, those those type of conversations met

0:22:03.160 --> 0:22:04.879
<v Speaker 4>more than you know. And there was the ones we

0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:06.679
<v Speaker 4>had on air, and there's a lot of conversations that

0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:09.080
<v Speaker 4>we've had off air and time we spent together that

0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:13.120
<v Speaker 4>no one will ever know about that it meant a lot,

0:22:13.920 --> 0:22:14.560
<v Speaker 4>and it means a lot.

0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:16.680
<v Speaker 1>I was trying to explain this to the Ropes, who

0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:19.159
<v Speaker 1>was obviously a witness to everything going on, But she

0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:21.199
<v Speaker 1>was also a witness to every time I picked up

0:22:21.240 --> 0:22:23.119
<v Speaker 1>the phone and said, Hey, just heard from Matt. Let

0:22:23.119 --> 0:22:25.080
<v Speaker 1>me let you read this, or hey, I got lunch

0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:27.640
<v Speaker 1>with that. I think you were the first person when

0:22:27.680 --> 0:22:30.400
<v Speaker 1>everything went down and shit hit the fan with us.

0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:32.960
<v Speaker 1>You were the first person outside of Robot that I

0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:36.840
<v Speaker 1>set foot out with publicly. We went to had Mexican

0:22:36.880 --> 0:22:38.280
<v Speaker 1>a couple of times in the spot and try it

0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:42.879
<v Speaker 1>beca We went for a run. But to your point,

0:22:43.480 --> 0:22:46.399
<v Speaker 1>you don't realize. I guess we switched positions here in

0:22:46.440 --> 0:22:48.639
<v Speaker 1>a lot of ways. And you I will inundate you

0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:50.239
<v Speaker 1>with text now if I don't hear from you how

0:22:50.240 --> 0:22:52.280
<v Speaker 1>you do the hell with it? Brother, I'm gonna keep

0:22:52.320 --> 0:22:54.679
<v Speaker 1>coming at you until you let me know you okay,

0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:57.400
<v Speaker 1>But you were the one, and that time you were

0:22:57.440 --> 0:22:59.960
<v Speaker 1>one of those who wouldn't give up on me, who

0:23:00.040 --> 0:23:03.680
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't let me crawl on draw a rock and bro

0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:06.760
<v Speaker 1>while you know this, how many you know that handful

0:23:06.760 --> 0:23:09.919
<v Speaker 1>of guys that meant everything to me? And you know

0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:12.960
<v Speaker 1>one of them you were hearing about because this dude's sitting.

0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:14.400
<v Speaker 2>Right here right I was going to tell you, Matt,

0:23:14.880 --> 0:23:17.320
<v Speaker 2>you may not realizing it sounds like you don't just

0:23:17.359 --> 0:23:20.400
<v Speaker 2>how much you meant to TJ during this past year.

0:23:20.520 --> 0:23:25.440
<v Speaker 2>It was a huge source of comfort to know that

0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:28.119
<v Speaker 2>someone cared and someone got it. I think, you know

0:23:28.240 --> 0:23:32.119
<v Speaker 2>that's and I love what you just said about how

0:23:32.200 --> 0:23:35.280
<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of people watch these types of shows,

0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 2>or watch anyone who's on television or in the public eye,

0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:42.159
<v Speaker 2>and somehow think that they are insulated from pain or

0:23:42.240 --> 0:23:43.840
<v Speaker 2>insulated from.

0:23:45.160 --> 0:23:48.200
<v Speaker 3>Trauma. And it's actually.

0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:50.880
<v Speaker 2>Amplified in a lot of ways, because everyone going through

0:23:50.880 --> 0:23:53.120
<v Speaker 2>something private, whether it be a divorce or any sort

0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:55.680
<v Speaker 2>of breakup or any sort of controversy, is painful enough,

0:23:55.680 --> 0:23:58.040
<v Speaker 2>but to have it amplified and the pressure of that

0:23:58.240 --> 0:24:01.000
<v Speaker 2>is even more so. You know, I know that you

0:24:01.080 --> 0:24:05.520
<v Speaker 2>get it, and people, I think sometimes forget it, or

0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:08.800
<v Speaker 2>sometimes they just believe that somehow there's so many other

0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:10.840
<v Speaker 2>great things going on in your life that this doesn't

0:24:10.880 --> 0:24:14.399
<v Speaker 2>mean as much. You know, relationships and you know, the

0:24:14.480 --> 0:24:16.480
<v Speaker 2>ups and downs and all rounds of them are probably

0:24:16.480 --> 0:24:18.280
<v Speaker 2>the thing that impacts all of us the most.

0:24:18.040 --> 0:24:18.520
<v Speaker 3>In our lives.

0:24:18.520 --> 0:24:21.480
<v Speaker 2>That's why the Bachelor probably is such a phenomenon because

0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:23.080
<v Speaker 2>we all get it, we all relate to it to

0:24:23.119 --> 0:24:23.680
<v Speaker 2>an extent.

0:24:24.280 --> 0:24:25.720
<v Speaker 3>And I know that in.

0:24:25.680 --> 0:24:31.159
<v Speaker 2>Your season you were the first black Bachelor, and so

0:24:31.320 --> 0:24:33.680
<v Speaker 2>race obviously was going to be a part of it.

0:24:34.720 --> 0:24:37.080
<v Speaker 2>But race played a role that you probably couldn't have

0:24:37.119 --> 0:24:41.359
<v Speaker 2>even imagined ultimately. And I'm curious today because obviously TJ

0:24:41.440 --> 0:24:43.520
<v Speaker 2>and I live this to an extent in terms of

0:24:43.560 --> 0:24:46.919
<v Speaker 2>your relationship and how you all interact and connect or

0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:49.240
<v Speaker 2>perhaps don't see things the same way or need to

0:24:49.280 --> 0:24:52.920
<v Speaker 2>be reminded of or educated or re educated about things

0:24:52.960 --> 0:24:55.239
<v Speaker 2>on black and white issues, like how much of that

0:24:55.440 --> 0:24:57.080
<v Speaker 2>is a part of your relationship?

0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:00.439
<v Speaker 4>You know what? There was a time where as the

0:25:00.440 --> 0:25:04.640
<v Speaker 4>show was airing, Uh, it seemed like where our country

0:25:04.800 --> 0:25:07.359
<v Speaker 4>was at the time, no one wanted our relationship to work.

0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:12.000
<v Speaker 4>And the things that humanized my relationship with Rachel, like

0:25:12.040 --> 0:25:16.760
<v Speaker 4>you were saying, people saw us as people on TV

0:25:16.920 --> 0:25:23.800
<v Speaker 4>and not humans. And I lived in TJ's neighborhood and

0:25:24.040 --> 0:25:30.240
<v Speaker 4>I would see TJ in what's it called the Seaport,

0:25:30.280 --> 0:25:33.160
<v Speaker 4>I would see the CJ, I'd see see I'd see TJ.

0:25:33.400 --> 0:25:37.359
<v Speaker 4>And the seaport walking to go get lunch with his

0:25:37.440 --> 0:25:41.679
<v Speaker 4>beautiful daughter, and I was like, damn, I was like,

0:25:41.920 --> 0:25:44.600
<v Speaker 4>I want that. It's a beautiful daughter. I was like,

0:25:44.640 --> 0:25:47.679
<v Speaker 4>I want that family. And I'd see TJ running and

0:25:48.000 --> 0:25:50.120
<v Speaker 4>and I had these interactions with people that I looked

0:25:50.160 --> 0:25:54.320
<v Speaker 4>up to who had things that I wanted, and I

0:25:54.359 --> 0:25:59.480
<v Speaker 4>saw it again for myself and I had those confirmation

0:26:00.200 --> 0:26:04.000
<v Speaker 4>I had those confirmations affirmed, and I had those conversations

0:26:04.040 --> 0:26:06.119
<v Speaker 4>with Rachel about you know, people who had done it

0:26:06.119 --> 0:26:08.840
<v Speaker 4>before us, and it was encouraging to see that it

0:26:08.920 --> 0:26:12.520
<v Speaker 4>wasn't something that was foreign and shouldn't be foreign at

0:26:12.640 --> 0:26:16.880
<v Speaker 4>you know, twenty twenty two. But it just took us

0:26:17.119 --> 0:26:20.000
<v Speaker 4>taking time to really get to know each other. Because

0:26:20.920 --> 0:26:22.560
<v Speaker 4>what a lot of people don't understand is when you

0:26:22.600 --> 0:26:28.479
<v Speaker 4>go on a show like that, yeah it's eight weeks,

0:26:29.000 --> 0:26:33.160
<v Speaker 4>but the actual time, like the literal time you spend

0:26:33.160 --> 0:26:36.399
<v Speaker 4>with that person could be quantified in hours. So like

0:26:36.440 --> 0:26:40.760
<v Speaker 4>I had spent maybe seven hours with this woman that

0:26:40.800 --> 0:26:44.240
<v Speaker 4>people wanted me to, you know, propose to, And when

0:26:44.280 --> 0:26:46.000
<v Speaker 4>you think about it like that, it's like that's the

0:26:46.080 --> 0:26:49.560
<v Speaker 4>ultimate speed dating, you know. So it's just we just

0:26:49.600 --> 0:26:53.360
<v Speaker 4>went about things a different way and we're still here,

0:26:53.520 --> 0:26:56.119
<v Speaker 4>we're together, and a lot of people can't say that.

0:26:56.240 --> 0:27:03.000
<v Speaker 4>Who you know, rush that process, and we're not rushing things.

0:27:03.080 --> 0:27:06.119
<v Speaker 1>So married at first sight wouldn't be your jam. That

0:27:06.160 --> 0:27:08.320
<v Speaker 1>shows what you wouldn't do it though.

0:27:11.280 --> 0:27:15.160
<v Speaker 3>Listen, listen what we did. It's basically what we did. Okay,

0:27:15.160 --> 0:27:18.639
<v Speaker 3>you got seven hours.

0:27:18.720 --> 0:27:21.359
<v Speaker 4>It's basically what we did. And I said I would.

0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:26.000
<v Speaker 4>I paused because I'm so like, my relationship is is perfect,

0:27:26.040 --> 0:27:27.879
<v Speaker 4>and I wouldn't want to I wouldn't want to go

0:27:27.920 --> 0:27:30.600
<v Speaker 4>out of out of the relationship that I'm in. But

0:27:31.840 --> 0:27:34.240
<v Speaker 4>I was. I wasn't familiar with that show until recently

0:27:34.280 --> 0:27:38.320
<v Speaker 4>when Rachel showed me. Rachel showed me a video that

0:27:38.520 --> 0:27:42.280
<v Speaker 4>is the funniest video I may have ever seen in

0:27:42.280 --> 0:27:45.240
<v Speaker 4>my entire life. I share a little snippet of it

0:27:45.280 --> 0:27:49.200
<v Speaker 4>with you. Video. It's this guy's talking to the lady

0:27:49.200 --> 0:27:51.639
<v Speaker 4>that he just married or is about to marry, and

0:27:52.680 --> 0:27:54.679
<v Speaker 4>he goes, I'm gonna watch this, but you can go

0:27:54.720 --> 0:27:59.960
<v Speaker 4>look it up. And he's like the lady that he's

0:28:00.000 --> 0:28:02.800
<v Speaker 4>speaking with, she's like, oh, this is a pretty view.

0:28:03.760 --> 0:28:06.040
<v Speaker 4>And then he looks at her and he says, you're

0:28:06.119 --> 0:28:08.639
<v Speaker 4>my prettiest view. And then she looks at him and

0:28:08.680 --> 0:28:14.080
<v Speaker 4>she goes, eh, I just died laughing. We have to

0:28:14.160 --> 0:28:15.119
<v Speaker 4>cue that video.

0:28:14.880 --> 0:28:17.520
<v Speaker 3>For this, But I was just gonna season.

0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:20.520
<v Speaker 4>Does anyone you haven't seen Oh.

0:28:22.000 --> 0:28:25.280
<v Speaker 3>No, nor first. We just watched my most recent.

0:28:25.240 --> 0:28:28.480
<v Speaker 4>It might be ninety day Fiance. Yes, I like to view.

0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:32.480
<v Speaker 4>And he's like, you're my best view and she's like, eh,

0:28:32.880 --> 0:28:35.360
<v Speaker 4>we haven't done that. You gotta watch that. So I'm

0:28:35.359 --> 0:28:37.560
<v Speaker 4>getting confused. I've seen ninety day Fiance. I haven't seen

0:28:37.600 --> 0:28:41.440
<v Speaker 4>Love of Mary first. No, I've never seen that Mary

0:28:41.440 --> 0:28:41.840
<v Speaker 4>at first sight.

0:28:41.960 --> 0:28:45.680
<v Speaker 2>Please please, you meet the person you're going to marry

0:28:46.200 --> 0:28:49.640
<v Speaker 2>when you're standing at the altar with the efficient ready

0:28:49.680 --> 0:28:52.240
<v Speaker 2>to go. Your family is there, your friends are there,

0:28:52.440 --> 0:28:55.960
<v Speaker 2>and you've trusted the producers who have used this algorithm

0:28:56.240 --> 0:28:59.479
<v Speaker 2>to put together Apparently you're perfect match on paper, and

0:28:59.520 --> 0:29:03.280
<v Speaker 2>you anually, legitimately legally get married.

0:29:03.080 --> 0:29:04.760
<v Speaker 3>On the spot that moment, you don't have a.

0:29:04.760 --> 0:29:06.880
<v Speaker 2>Choice, and you get married, and then you have eight

0:29:06.920 --> 0:29:08.960
<v Speaker 2>weeks to figure out if you're going to stay married

0:29:09.120 --> 0:29:11.160
<v Speaker 2>or you actually have to end up getting divorced.

0:29:11.200 --> 0:29:12.240
<v Speaker 3>It's decision day.

0:29:12.200 --> 0:29:14.600
<v Speaker 4>Yes, this is a real Yes.

0:29:14.120 --> 0:29:17.480
<v Speaker 3>It's nuts. It's The Bachelor on steroids.

0:29:17.520 --> 0:29:20.920
<v Speaker 4>Wow, I need to watch this. Yes, it's always nice.

0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:24.080
<v Speaker 4>I always tell people this who ask about our relationship.

0:29:24.440 --> 0:29:26.200
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, it's always nice to see someone else go

0:29:26.280 --> 0:29:28.440
<v Speaker 4>through it, Like, well, it's not your drama. So like

0:29:28.480 --> 0:29:31.440
<v Speaker 4>people who are so enamored by, you know, everyone else's stuff.

0:29:31.600 --> 0:29:33.560
<v Speaker 4>Now it looks like I can take part of that.

0:29:33.840 --> 0:29:34.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:29:34.680 --> 0:29:35.400
<v Speaker 4>Love at first sight.

0:29:35.480 --> 0:29:38.040
<v Speaker 1>Wow, look you you threw in the word perfect a

0:29:38.040 --> 0:29:40.680
<v Speaker 1>second ago. I knew what you were saying. You said

0:29:40.680 --> 0:29:43.360
<v Speaker 1>you OL's relationship is perfect. Obviously nobody's is, but you

0:29:43.360 --> 0:29:44.760
<v Speaker 1>were making a point there. But I do want to

0:29:44.760 --> 0:29:46.640
<v Speaker 1>go back to the word perfect to where we look

0:29:46.960 --> 0:29:49.960
<v Speaker 1>from the outside. If anybody follow listens to you here,

0:29:50.240 --> 0:29:53.760
<v Speaker 1>it follows you on Instagram. Yes, everything does look and

0:29:53.800 --> 0:29:57.200
<v Speaker 1>appear perfect. You seeing me going through the seaport, smiling

0:29:57.320 --> 0:30:00.280
<v Speaker 1>daughter with me, everything looks perfect. There was some hell

0:30:00.360 --> 0:30:04.600
<v Speaker 1>going on in my life at the time. You what

0:30:04.920 --> 0:30:08.200
<v Speaker 1>is the hell right? What is it we don't see

0:30:08.240 --> 0:30:10.600
<v Speaker 1>to where yes, it's perfect and you can have a

0:30:10.640 --> 0:30:15.280
<v Speaker 1>wonderful relationship, But when are the moments that it's not perfect?

0:30:15.280 --> 0:30:17.400
<v Speaker 1>What are the moments that aren't perfect? Are they just

0:30:17.480 --> 0:30:18.840
<v Speaker 1>normal moments like the rest of us.

0:30:18.800 --> 0:30:22.960
<v Speaker 4>Have in relationships. You know, that's a good question. There

0:30:23.040 --> 0:30:25.200
<v Speaker 4>was a there was like a few months ago where

0:30:25.680 --> 0:30:28.200
<v Speaker 4>I was like, I was thinking to myself, I'm like,

0:30:28.840 --> 0:30:31.960
<v Speaker 4>how do I engage with my audience more so they

0:30:31.960 --> 0:30:34.560
<v Speaker 4>have a more holistic view of our relationship. And I

0:30:34.600 --> 0:30:37.000
<v Speaker 4>was like, I'm gonna film like us getting into a fight.

0:30:37.760 --> 0:30:40.200
<v Speaker 4>And it wasn't like like I wasn't gonna like pick

0:30:40.200 --> 0:30:43.760
<v Speaker 4>a fight where it's like that would have been easy,

0:30:43.800 --> 0:30:45.720
<v Speaker 4>Like I could have left all the all the I

0:30:45.720 --> 0:30:49.000
<v Speaker 4>could have left all the cabinets opened, or the refrigerator

0:30:49.040 --> 0:30:54.040
<v Speaker 4>cracked like done. Stuff that like annoys her. But I

0:30:54.080 --> 0:30:56.480
<v Speaker 4>didn't get around to that. I still might film one.

0:30:56.600 --> 0:31:01.960
<v Speaker 4>But we actually got into an argument yesterday and it

0:31:02.040 --> 0:31:04.480
<v Speaker 4>was so dumb. It usually is. It's always the it's

0:31:04.560 --> 0:31:06.160
<v Speaker 4>the always the dumbest stuff.

0:31:06.240 --> 0:31:08.880
<v Speaker 1>So you probably got a good relationship your relationship if

0:31:08.880 --> 0:31:11.840
<v Speaker 1>it's petty little stuff that is not even worth talking about,

0:31:11.840 --> 0:31:13.800
<v Speaker 1>and you're probably doing pretty well. It was so dumb,

0:31:14.080 --> 0:31:14.920
<v Speaker 1>and what was it about.

0:31:14.960 --> 0:31:15.360
<v Speaker 3>I want to know.

0:31:15.480 --> 0:31:22.560
<v Speaker 4>I'll tell you it's it's so dumb. I hadn't gotten back.

0:31:25.440 --> 0:31:27.880
<v Speaker 4>Let me let me rephrase this, Let me rephrase this,

0:31:27.960 --> 0:31:30.720
<v Speaker 4>let me rephrase this. It wasn't something worth getting that

0:31:30.840 --> 0:31:33.520
<v Speaker 4>upset about. It wasn't dumb, but it was like it

0:31:33.560 --> 0:31:35.520
<v Speaker 4>was dumb. It was dumb on my part. You got upset,

0:31:35.600 --> 0:31:38.320
<v Speaker 4>not her. I got upset. Okay, So so I had

0:31:38.320 --> 0:31:42.720
<v Speaker 4>a long morning. Obviously I worked so hard and he's

0:31:42.760 --> 0:31:44.040
<v Speaker 4>a prefacing everything.

0:31:45.680 --> 0:31:47.360
<v Speaker 1>I was tired, just so you know, I was tired,

0:31:50.600 --> 0:31:51.760
<v Speaker 1>bust in my tail.

0:31:51.520 --> 0:31:55.600
<v Speaker 4>To bring food home for the yes and I call

0:31:55.760 --> 0:31:57.560
<v Speaker 4>Rachel lunch because I just like want to hear a

0:31:57.680 --> 0:31:59.960
<v Speaker 4>voice and just like hear this like fresh breath of air,

0:32:00.160 --> 0:32:03.760
<v Speaker 4>like just like put me at ease. And I called her.

0:32:03.760 --> 0:32:05.800
<v Speaker 4>I was like, hey, babe, She's like, Matt, you haven't

0:32:05.800 --> 0:32:08.120
<v Speaker 4>given us the food for the wedding yet. Are you

0:32:08.200 --> 0:32:11.080
<v Speaker 4>going to give Michael's? Are you going to give Michael

0:32:11.160 --> 0:32:12.560
<v Speaker 4>the dish you need? Is it a veget And she

0:32:12.680 --> 0:32:14.720
<v Speaker 4>just started going on this thing that I hadn't done.

0:32:14.800 --> 0:32:16.960
<v Speaker 4>I should have done this a long time ago. And

0:32:17.000 --> 0:32:18.600
<v Speaker 4>it was the last thing I was trying to hear.

0:32:19.400 --> 0:32:22.200
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, are you serious, Like you're not

0:32:22.200 --> 0:32:24.720
<v Speaker 4>going to ask how my day was like? And we

0:32:24.800 --> 0:32:27.640
<v Speaker 4>just like got into this like spat back and forth,

0:32:27.880 --> 0:32:29.720
<v Speaker 4>and I hung up and I was like I was like,

0:32:29.760 --> 0:32:31.280
<v Speaker 4>i'll call you back later, like I can't talk to

0:32:31.320 --> 0:32:33.640
<v Speaker 4>you right now. And I was walking to go get

0:32:33.640 --> 0:32:37.040
<v Speaker 4>a cookie and uh and I opened the door and

0:32:37.080 --> 0:32:39.560
<v Speaker 4>I smelled the cookies and I was like, it's like

0:32:39.560 --> 0:32:41.840
<v Speaker 4>what am I doing? And I called her back and

0:32:41.880 --> 0:32:44.320
<v Speaker 4>she's like like sniffle and I'm like, I'm my baby,

0:32:44.320 --> 0:32:50.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm sorry. She's like she's like I forgive you and

0:32:50.120 --> 0:32:52.440
<v Speaker 4>like and she's just like so loving and understanding in

0:32:52.480 --> 0:32:54.520
<v Speaker 4>that moment that like it was it was so dumb

0:32:54.600 --> 0:32:58.600
<v Speaker 4>and like, thank goodness. That's the extent of like our

0:32:58.760 --> 0:33:01.440
<v Speaker 4>our fights. Like there aren't like any major blow ups

0:33:01.560 --> 0:33:04.240
<v Speaker 4>or like any controversial things we've like gone at it about,

0:33:04.320 --> 0:33:08.680
<v Speaker 4>but just the I think the moral of that story

0:33:08.760 --> 0:33:12.200
<v Speaker 4>is we both have an understanding of like what is

0:33:12.240 --> 0:33:15.320
<v Speaker 4>and isn't silly and when something isn't worth, you know,

0:33:16.000 --> 0:33:18.360
<v Speaker 4>going to war over. She's the first to call me

0:33:18.400 --> 0:33:20.920
<v Speaker 4>and apologize, and I'll do the same and I apologize.

0:33:20.960 --> 0:33:26.320
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, that's the things she don't see.

0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:33.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Rose, we got to get this out. After hearing

0:33:33.400 --> 0:33:36.400
<v Speaker 1>that story, I'm curious for you, what is your first

0:33:36.520 --> 0:33:38.680
<v Speaker 1>question to him? As a follow up, And I'll tell

0:33:38.680 --> 0:33:40.600
<v Speaker 1>you what mine is after hearing that story, what is

0:33:40.640 --> 0:33:41.080
<v Speaker 1>your question?

0:33:41.200 --> 0:33:43.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh, so I was going back because you can put

0:33:43.560 --> 0:33:46.120
<v Speaker 2>it into perspective. My thought was, how much of what

0:33:46.320 --> 0:33:49.479
<v Speaker 2>you what you went through with the public scrutiny, all

0:33:49.560 --> 0:33:52.360
<v Speaker 2>the controversy, kind of having to hide out. We've talked

0:33:52.360 --> 0:33:54.880
<v Speaker 2>about this from the cameras, from the press, how much

0:33:54.880 --> 0:33:57.840
<v Speaker 2>of going through something that actually was serious, that actually

0:33:58.280 --> 0:34:01.040
<v Speaker 2>was really difficult gave you the expect to be able

0:34:01.080 --> 0:34:04.120
<v Speaker 2>to brush off something that could fester, that could look

0:34:04.200 --> 0:34:05.840
<v Speaker 2>to say, you know what, this isn't that big of

0:34:05.880 --> 0:34:06.240
<v Speaker 2>a deal.

0:34:06.400 --> 0:34:08.680
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, my question was how long did it take

0:34:08.719 --> 0:34:10.239
<v Speaker 1>for you when you hung up the call her back?

0:34:10.680 --> 0:34:15.440
<v Speaker 4>Those those are two incredible questions. I'm gonna answer Amy's first.

0:34:17.360 --> 0:34:20.560
<v Speaker 4>And it's funny you say that, Amy, because Rachel has

0:34:20.719 --> 0:34:25.359
<v Speaker 4>literally said that to to me when we've gone when

0:34:25.400 --> 0:34:28.080
<v Speaker 4>we've gone at it over something ridiculous, like we're just

0:34:28.120 --> 0:34:30.200
<v Speaker 4>sitting there on the couch and she's like, like, I

0:34:30.239 --> 0:34:32.480
<v Speaker 4>can't believe we're arguing over this after everything we've been through.

0:34:32.520 --> 0:34:34.920
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, you're right, Like I'm I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

0:34:35.000 --> 0:34:40.239
<v Speaker 4>and like it's that amlicable. It's it really when you

0:34:40.400 --> 0:34:43.800
<v Speaker 4>face the toughest adversity at the rip and off the

0:34:43.840 --> 0:34:47.319
<v Speaker 4>peak and at the beginning of your relationship. I mean,

0:34:48.280 --> 0:34:51.319
<v Speaker 4>you can get through anything, which is comforting to know

0:34:51.400 --> 0:34:54.600
<v Speaker 4>that you know you have someone who will stick by

0:34:54.640 --> 0:34:58.560
<v Speaker 4>you through you know, the ups and downs, not that

0:34:58.600 --> 0:35:02.280
<v Speaker 4>there won't be more, but just that it's battle tested.

0:35:02.760 --> 0:35:07.439
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, that was that is like our our north star.

0:35:07.560 --> 0:35:10.279
<v Speaker 4>It's like, it's like we've gotten through this, Like, let's

0:35:10.680 --> 0:35:12.799
<v Speaker 4>that's our grounding moment. It's like we've if we've made

0:35:12.800 --> 0:35:15.400
<v Speaker 4>it through everything else, then this is this is nothing

0:35:15.440 --> 0:35:17.800
<v Speaker 4>close to that. So let's just I'm like, you're right, baby.

0:35:17.920 --> 0:35:20.000
<v Speaker 3>The storm came early, and it came fast.

0:35:20.040 --> 0:35:23.480
<v Speaker 4>Storm came early and fast. And to answer to TJ's

0:35:23.520 --> 0:35:28.280
<v Speaker 4>question about how quickly I called her back, probably forty

0:35:28.280 --> 0:35:28.920
<v Speaker 4>five seconds.

0:35:29.040 --> 0:35:31.279
<v Speaker 3>Oh wow, yeah, I'll tell you were gonna say forty

0:35:31.320 --> 0:35:31.800
<v Speaker 3>five minutes.

0:35:31.920 --> 0:35:35.000
<v Speaker 4>No, No, I wouldn't let it faster that long. Yeah,

0:35:35.040 --> 0:35:37.280
<v Speaker 4>I was like, I hung up. I just needed a second,

0:35:37.960 --> 0:35:40.759
<v Speaker 4>and I was just like, and it's it's typically how

0:35:40.800 --> 0:35:43.440
<v Speaker 4>it goes with us, Like before you say something dumb

0:35:44.440 --> 0:35:46.520
<v Speaker 4>either way, it's like you're gonna hang up and just

0:35:46.520 --> 0:35:49.239
<v Speaker 4>take a second to collect your thought. And then call back.

0:35:49.280 --> 0:35:51.359
<v Speaker 4>It's usually yeah, So I knew I was in the wrong,

0:35:51.400 --> 0:35:54.360
<v Speaker 4>so I called back, and I'm like, tail between my legs, baby,

0:35:54.360 --> 0:35:56.759
<v Speaker 4>I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't mean. I'll take the

0:35:57.000 --> 0:35:57.720
<v Speaker 4>go ahead, salmon.

0:35:57.880 --> 0:36:00.479
<v Speaker 3>You dying to say something? No, I'm not. I don't

0:36:00.480 --> 0:36:04.160
<v Speaker 3>need to point anything out. No, no, no, no. Then I'll

0:36:04.440 --> 0:36:04.960
<v Speaker 3>point this out.

0:36:07.160 --> 0:36:10.960
<v Speaker 1>I get that, like I, when you're in the wrong,

0:36:12.000 --> 0:36:14.480
<v Speaker 1>you've got to jump on it in that moment. I

0:36:14.480 --> 0:36:17.839
<v Speaker 1>think most fights and things take place and there it's

0:36:17.880 --> 0:36:21.240
<v Speaker 1>never really about what happened. It's how you handle what happened.

0:36:21.239 --> 0:36:23.640
<v Speaker 1>That's the fact that ends up being the problem. And

0:36:24.560 --> 0:36:27.880
<v Speaker 1>so no, that's and to your point about recording an argument,

0:36:29.280 --> 0:36:31.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't know ropes so we recommend that or not.

0:36:33.160 --> 0:36:35.879
<v Speaker 2>I mean, so we did a couple of weeks ago,

0:36:36.120 --> 0:36:39.520
<v Speaker 2>and people fell on either side of the fence on

0:36:39.680 --> 0:36:41.759
<v Speaker 2>whether or not we should have. But I look back

0:36:41.800 --> 0:36:43.960
<v Speaker 2>at it and I learned a lot from it, So

0:36:44.360 --> 0:36:46.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know that I would recommend it to anyone.

0:36:46.080 --> 0:36:48.520
<v Speaker 2>You have to be personally willing to re listen to

0:36:48.560 --> 0:36:51.160
<v Speaker 2>yourself and to hear things differently, and that is part

0:36:51.200 --> 0:36:55.360
<v Speaker 2>of the process. I actually personally am very glad for me.

0:36:55.480 --> 0:36:58.080
<v Speaker 2>I think it actually was a moment. I feel like

0:36:58.120 --> 0:37:02.080
<v Speaker 2>a different person afterwards now, I really do so for me,

0:37:02.480 --> 0:37:05.720
<v Speaker 2>it was actually helpful, but it came with a price

0:37:05.760 --> 0:37:06.680
<v Speaker 2>because people weigh in.

0:37:06.760 --> 0:37:09.200
<v Speaker 3>You know, that's the thing. You know, you're you don't

0:37:09.200 --> 0:37:09.919
<v Speaker 3>want to put on.

0:37:09.840 --> 0:37:15.359
<v Speaker 2>This perception of having some perfect relationship, and there is

0:37:15.400 --> 0:37:18.440
<v Speaker 2>something about knowing you're not alone and it is relatable.

0:37:18.440 --> 0:37:20.719
<v Speaker 2>And no matter who you are, no matter where you live,

0:37:20.800 --> 0:37:23.480
<v Speaker 2>or how much money you make, or what your circumstances are,

0:37:23.480 --> 0:37:26.239
<v Speaker 2>we all still come down to the same basic things.

0:37:26.239 --> 0:37:28.280
<v Speaker 2>We want to feel loved, we want to feel safe,

0:37:28.520 --> 0:37:31.120
<v Speaker 2>we want to feel heard, we want to feel understood.

0:37:31.160 --> 0:37:33.560
<v Speaker 2>So I do think that that there is real value

0:37:33.560 --> 0:37:38.759
<v Speaker 2>in understanding that and knowing that everyone's in the same place, genuinely.

0:37:38.840 --> 0:37:40.560
<v Speaker 1>But we were letting you know from where we were

0:37:40.560 --> 0:37:43.120
<v Speaker 1>at the time. She didn't know it was about to happen.

0:37:43.160 --> 0:37:45.720
<v Speaker 1>We were in a whatever little beef and she wasn't

0:37:45.760 --> 0:37:47.640
<v Speaker 1>with me at the house and I just set up

0:37:47.680 --> 0:37:50.640
<v Speaker 1>the microphones. She came over and I said, hey, let's

0:37:50.680 --> 0:37:52.560
<v Speaker 1>just talk it out and see what happens. And we

0:37:52.640 --> 0:37:55.319
<v Speaker 1>had days to decide whether or not to put it

0:37:55.360 --> 0:37:57.200
<v Speaker 1>out there, and so we had to go back and

0:37:57.239 --> 0:37:59.920
<v Speaker 1>listen to ourselves fight like five times.

0:38:01.600 --> 0:38:02.000
<v Speaker 3>It's tough.

0:38:02.080 --> 0:38:06.120
<v Speaker 1>It spawned more difficult conversations and fights, and a big

0:38:06.160 --> 0:38:08.320
<v Speaker 1>part of the had did have to do with race.

0:38:08.760 --> 0:38:10.719
<v Speaker 1>It did have to do with not seeing eye to

0:38:10.719 --> 0:38:13.279
<v Speaker 1>eye on some things, or how something could be perceived

0:38:13.719 --> 0:38:16.799
<v Speaker 1>coming from a black man talking to a white woman

0:38:16.880 --> 0:38:19.400
<v Speaker 1>or a white woman talking to a black man. Now, privately,

0:38:20.040 --> 0:38:22.799
<v Speaker 1>there's no issue, but then once you hear it laid

0:38:22.840 --> 0:38:24.319
<v Speaker 1>out and you put it out there for people to hear.

0:38:24.400 --> 0:38:26.280
<v Speaker 1>So I think when she was asking you earlier about

0:38:26.280 --> 0:38:30.880
<v Speaker 1>how race ever plays into it, winn in your private moments,

0:38:30.920 --> 0:38:33.680
<v Speaker 1>does she have a moment where she needs to be

0:38:33.760 --> 0:38:36.680
<v Speaker 1>And I don't want this sound the wrong way, but educated,

0:38:36.680 --> 0:38:40.000
<v Speaker 1>almost unaware of or doesn't know how to handle something

0:38:40.040 --> 0:38:43.040
<v Speaker 1>related to you as a black man, your culture, your upbringing,

0:38:43.120 --> 0:38:45.919
<v Speaker 1>your way of seeing the world. How often do those

0:38:45.960 --> 0:38:50.359
<v Speaker 1>things in the way the world suits you, do those

0:38:50.440 --> 0:38:51.279
<v Speaker 1>things come up?

0:38:52.640 --> 0:38:56.120
<v Speaker 4>I mean, to be honest with y'all, we're so fortunate

0:38:56.239 --> 0:39:02.160
<v Speaker 4>that and I say this from like the highest level

0:39:02.200 --> 0:39:05.480
<v Speaker 4>of level of privilege, Like I am so fortunate that

0:39:06.160 --> 0:39:11.360
<v Speaker 4>a majority of my interactions with people, are interactions with people,

0:39:12.360 --> 0:39:19.360
<v Speaker 4>We're not having those type of extreme racial reactions to

0:39:19.840 --> 0:39:23.879
<v Speaker 4>our relationship to I'm trying to think of the best

0:39:23.880 --> 0:39:28.879
<v Speaker 4>way to answer this, because there have been moments I'm

0:39:28.920 --> 0:39:29.560
<v Speaker 4>just trying to think of.

0:39:30.040 --> 0:39:31.880
<v Speaker 1>So I'll give you and while you are thinking to

0:39:32.040 --> 0:39:34.160
<v Speaker 1>give me an idea, and it robs you, like this

0:39:34.200 --> 0:39:36.680
<v Speaker 1>is something that didn't come about because of us, but

0:39:36.760 --> 0:39:39.680
<v Speaker 1>we happen to be around someone who, right, a group

0:39:39.719 --> 0:39:44.840
<v Speaker 1>of folks who someone a white person says something about

0:39:45.200 --> 0:39:48.520
<v Speaker 1>black culture, says something about black folks, makes a reference

0:39:48.560 --> 0:39:51.839
<v Speaker 1>to something in the way to where it now her

0:39:51.960 --> 0:39:54.120
<v Speaker 1>ear to where everybody in the room who might be

0:39:54.160 --> 0:39:56.760
<v Speaker 1>all be white, they look and they listen, they're laughing

0:39:56.880 --> 0:40:00.759
<v Speaker 1>or chiming in, and I'm like this with my arms

0:40:00.400 --> 0:40:06.040
<v Speaker 1>just listening. She now can hear what was just said

0:40:06.080 --> 0:40:09.239
<v Speaker 1>and understand why it came into my ear and would

0:40:09.280 --> 0:40:12.760
<v Speaker 1>have been interpreted differently to where and again, no offense

0:40:12.800 --> 0:40:15.440
<v Speaker 1>to you, right, you didn't do anything wrong, but she

0:40:15.760 --> 0:40:20.319
<v Speaker 1>didn't understand why I might be offended by the way

0:40:20.360 --> 0:40:23.040
<v Speaker 1>the world is seeing me and not respecting me, or

0:40:23.080 --> 0:40:26.600
<v Speaker 1>not appreciate it, not being considered at all. Those types

0:40:26.640 --> 0:40:29.200
<v Speaker 1>of things do rear their heads every now and again

0:40:29.280 --> 0:40:31.799
<v Speaker 1>with us. Doesn't call a rift between us, Oh no, no, no.

0:40:32.080 --> 0:40:35.080
<v Speaker 2>But I would say that I just so where I

0:40:35.120 --> 0:40:38.080
<v Speaker 2>think what you're specifically referencing is a lot of people,

0:40:38.160 --> 0:40:40.239
<v Speaker 2>in an effort they come from maybe a good place,

0:40:40.280 --> 0:40:44.480
<v Speaker 2>trying to connect or relate to the black experience. It's

0:40:44.480 --> 0:40:49.080
<v Speaker 2>offensive because they can't. And so seeing people desperately try

0:40:49.160 --> 0:40:52.040
<v Speaker 2>to connect or relate and so being offensive in a

0:40:52.080 --> 0:40:57.440
<v Speaker 2>way that I wouldn't have necessarily realized before hit it.

0:40:57.560 --> 0:41:00.160
<v Speaker 4>That hit well, not for me personally, but I've seen it, Like,

0:41:00.200 --> 0:41:02.200
<v Speaker 4>I see so much of it because like people so

0:41:02.320 --> 0:41:05.080
<v Speaker 4>much want to be like I feel you, but like

0:41:05.160 --> 0:41:08.000
<v Speaker 4>there's other ways to like, you know, support that cause

0:41:08.400 --> 0:41:11.719
<v Speaker 4>then to like, you know, try to draw to an

0:41:11.719 --> 0:41:16.600
<v Speaker 4>experience that you might not you know, be able to represent. Yeah,

0:41:16.719 --> 0:41:19.560
<v Speaker 4>but I would say to answer your question, and again

0:41:19.640 --> 0:41:22.560
<v Speaker 4>this is like coming from the biggest area of privilege,

0:41:22.680 --> 0:41:28.080
<v Speaker 4>is like if we're going to dinner or we're going uh,

0:41:28.840 --> 0:41:33.200
<v Speaker 4>if if we're at the airport and I think that

0:41:34.280 --> 0:41:37.239
<v Speaker 4>me going up to this individual is gonna warrant a

0:41:37.280 --> 0:41:39.680
<v Speaker 4>negative response, then all of a sudden, Rachel m h.

0:41:40.200 --> 0:41:42.359
<v Speaker 4>And I'll be like like and I know, like, that's

0:41:42.400 --> 0:41:43.879
<v Speaker 4>that's how that's just how it goes, like.

0:41:43.960 --> 0:41:46.479
<v Speaker 1>No, because we have all at some point in your life.

0:41:46.480 --> 0:41:50.120
<v Speaker 1>You've been in a car and the police lights come

0:41:50.160 --> 0:41:52.200
<v Speaker 1>on in the back and you we look around. We

0:41:52.280 --> 0:41:54.200
<v Speaker 1>tell the white dude with us, hey, you got this

0:41:54.280 --> 0:41:56.600
<v Speaker 1>one right like you tell them they talk to the

0:41:56.600 --> 0:41:58.920
<v Speaker 1>cops for us. There have been plenty of times Robes,

0:41:59.000 --> 0:42:01.040
<v Speaker 1>I say hey, you need to handle this one, you

0:42:01.040 --> 0:42:04.120
<v Speaker 1>need to take this because they yes, see yeah, and

0:42:04.200 --> 0:42:06.359
<v Speaker 1>now it's coming, now it's coming, It's here, it's here,

0:42:06.400 --> 0:42:07.120
<v Speaker 1>all right here.

0:42:08.160 --> 0:42:11.280
<v Speaker 4>I was in Marble Falls, Texas.

0:42:12.040 --> 0:42:13.680
<v Speaker 3>It's a good start to a store.

0:42:14.560 --> 0:42:18.840
<v Speaker 4>It's a suburb an hour south of Austin, and I

0:42:18.880 --> 0:42:24.600
<v Speaker 4>was there for my college roommate's wedding and I had

0:42:24.600 --> 0:42:28.720
<v Speaker 4>rented a car for the weekend and I was driving

0:42:30.000 --> 0:42:31.759
<v Speaker 4>to the and I was driving to pick up a

0:42:31.760 --> 0:42:34.880
<v Speaker 4>cowboy hat because it was cowboy themed. This is a

0:42:34.920 --> 0:42:35.520
<v Speaker 4>great story.

0:42:36.360 --> 0:42:39.480
<v Speaker 2>I think I saw the picture of YouTube on Instagram

0:42:39.560 --> 0:42:40.560
<v Speaker 2>with you with the cowboy hat.

0:42:40.600 --> 0:42:42.800
<v Speaker 3>You guys looked great. Okay, I know what you're talking about.

0:42:43.760 --> 0:42:49.960
<v Speaker 4>And Rachel's flight was delayed some by myself, and Rachel

0:42:50.440 --> 0:42:52.920
<v Speaker 4>is going to uber and meet me at the reception

0:42:53.040 --> 0:42:54.880
<v Speaker 4>and then we're going to leave after So on the

0:42:54.880 --> 0:42:57.799
<v Speaker 4>way to the reception, I get pulled over. I haven't

0:42:57.800 --> 0:43:02.319
<v Speaker 4>been pulled over. I haven't been pulled over since my

0:43:02.320 --> 0:43:04.920
<v Speaker 4>sophomore year of college when I was legitimately speeding, Like

0:43:04.960 --> 0:43:07.080
<v Speaker 4>I was speeding and I got a ticket, as you

0:43:07.080 --> 0:43:09.760
<v Speaker 4>should if you're speeding. I was going to speed limit.

0:43:10.160 --> 0:43:12.440
<v Speaker 4>I have my I have my headlights on, I have

0:43:12.520 --> 0:43:18.640
<v Speaker 4>my seat belt on. And I get pulled over and

0:43:18.880 --> 0:43:22.719
<v Speaker 4>my heart starts to race. I'm like, oh shit. I'm like,

0:43:22.719 --> 0:43:27.680
<v Speaker 4>I'm in I'm in Texas. I'm black, I'm by myself,

0:43:28.480 --> 0:43:30.040
<v Speaker 4>Like this is a rental car. I don't know where

0:43:30.040 --> 0:43:33.680
<v Speaker 4>the registration is. Like, I'm my heart is racing. I

0:43:33.760 --> 0:43:35.600
<v Speaker 4>turned the car off. I take the keys out and

0:43:35.600 --> 0:43:37.759
<v Speaker 4>put them on top of the car, and the cop

0:43:37.800 --> 0:43:40.400
<v Speaker 4>comes up to the car. He's like, sor do you

0:43:40.400 --> 0:43:44.480
<v Speaker 4>know how fast you were going? I was like the

0:43:44.520 --> 0:43:48.480
<v Speaker 4>speed limit? Like he's like you you He's like, you

0:43:48.520 --> 0:43:51.200
<v Speaker 4>flew by me, And I was like in my head,

0:43:51.239 --> 0:43:56.080
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, were you stationary like like cars typically do.

0:43:56.200 --> 0:43:56.399
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:43:56.400 --> 0:43:58.439
<v Speaker 4>I'm just like I'm trying to figure out, like I'm

0:43:58.480 --> 0:44:00.839
<v Speaker 4>like what do you know how fast I was going?

0:44:01.000 --> 0:44:02.680
<v Speaker 4>And he's like, well, you were going faster than me.

0:44:02.719 --> 0:44:04.200
<v Speaker 4>And I was going to speed then, and I'm just

0:44:04.239 --> 0:44:07.920
<v Speaker 4>like and I'm just like trying to de escalate, de escalate,

0:44:07.920 --> 0:44:10.520
<v Speaker 4>to escalate, And long story short, I don't get a

0:44:10.520 --> 0:44:12.759
<v Speaker 4>ticket for speeding. I get it. I get some sort

0:44:12.760 --> 0:44:16.000
<v Speaker 4>of like infraction for improper equipment or something like that.

0:44:16.320 --> 0:44:18.879
<v Speaker 4>And I'm just like, I'm like, thank god, that's all

0:44:18.920 --> 0:44:20.920
<v Speaker 4>I made it out there with. Thank god, that's all

0:44:20.920 --> 0:44:22.880
<v Speaker 4>I made it out of that situation with. Go to

0:44:22.920 --> 0:44:27.560
<v Speaker 4>the party. Leaving the party, Rachel's in the car. This time,

0:44:27.600 --> 0:44:31.439
<v Speaker 4>I get pulled over leaving the party. Wow, I get

0:44:31.440 --> 0:44:34.920
<v Speaker 4>pulled over twice in one night. Cop comes up the car.

0:44:34.960 --> 0:44:38.319
<v Speaker 4>This time. Rachel's in the car though, Oh god, I

0:44:38.320 --> 0:44:42.240
<v Speaker 4>can't make this up. Ma'am. Are you okay? Yeah?

0:44:42.280 --> 0:44:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Wow?

0:44:43.040 --> 0:44:46.160
<v Speaker 4>She's like yeah, I'm fine. He's like, you know how

0:44:46.120 --> 0:44:50.480
<v Speaker 4>I pulled you over? I was like, honestly, I have

0:44:50.560 --> 0:44:52.600
<v Speaker 4>no idea. Enlighten me, Like at this point, I'm mad.

0:44:52.760 --> 0:44:56.279
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, I'm like, he's like, you were speeding. He's like,

0:44:56.280 --> 0:44:59.600
<v Speaker 4>you were going he said, you were going thirty eight

0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:05.319
<v Speaker 4>in a thirty five technically I was speeding, and I

0:45:05.360 --> 0:45:08.480
<v Speaker 4>was like in my head, I'm just like, am I

0:45:08.520 --> 0:45:10.160
<v Speaker 4>gonna go to jail? Like what is? Like?

0:45:10.239 --> 0:45:10.439
<v Speaker 3>What?

0:45:10.520 --> 0:45:12.880
<v Speaker 4>Like I'm like, you know what, sir, I'm sorry, Like

0:45:12.920 --> 0:45:16.320
<v Speaker 4>I didn't realize that. I just tried to again, de escalate,

0:45:16.360 --> 0:45:18.080
<v Speaker 4>de escalate because that's what you have to do in

0:45:18.360 --> 0:45:20.719
<v Speaker 4>this position if you're aggressive, like who knows what's gonna happen.

0:45:20.719 --> 0:45:23.080
<v Speaker 4>So I'm like, sir, you're absolutely right, I was speeding.

0:45:23.160 --> 0:45:25.359
<v Speaker 4>I apologize, like I didn't realize I was going thirty

0:45:25.360 --> 0:45:29.640
<v Speaker 4>eight and to thirty five. He's like, a right, give

0:45:29.680 --> 0:45:32.120
<v Speaker 4>me a second, do you have your license? Gave my license?

0:45:32.640 --> 0:45:35.880
<v Speaker 4>He walks away seemed like forever, then comes back to

0:45:35.920 --> 0:45:39.960
<v Speaker 4>the car. Finally he's like, I'm gonna let you off

0:45:39.960 --> 0:45:42.560
<v Speaker 4>with a warning, but you better not come through here

0:45:42.600 --> 0:45:46.160
<v Speaker 4>speeding again. And I'm just like took my license back.

0:45:46.239 --> 0:45:48.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm just like getting chills thinking about it. And then

0:45:48.080 --> 0:45:50.120
<v Speaker 4>like Rachel was crying in the car. She's just like

0:45:51.080 --> 0:45:53.959
<v Speaker 4>I'm so sorry, Like I just I had no idea

0:45:53.960 --> 0:45:58.800
<v Speaker 4>because we'd never had an experience like that, And moments

0:45:58.840 --> 0:46:01.040
<v Speaker 4>like that is when it's like the because it's like

0:46:01.080 --> 0:46:03.399
<v Speaker 4>that's what like potentially our kids would have to deal

0:46:03.400 --> 0:46:07.239
<v Speaker 4>with And that's what life's like when you know you're

0:46:07.239 --> 0:46:08.359
<v Speaker 4>in certain parts of the world.

0:46:08.480 --> 0:46:12.759
<v Speaker 1>So we we had several of those. I was going

0:46:12.800 --> 0:46:14.080
<v Speaker 1>to ask you how she reacted.

0:46:14.360 --> 0:46:17.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, she was, she was not okay, like she was flustered.

0:46:17.840 --> 0:46:20.000
<v Speaker 1>But describe again, and I want Ropes to hear this.

0:46:20.040 --> 0:46:22.000
<v Speaker 1>When you get pulled over, what do you do? What

0:46:22.040 --> 0:46:23.600
<v Speaker 1>do you do as soon as you see the lights?

0:46:23.640 --> 0:46:26.560
<v Speaker 1>Just what is your process in the car took?

0:46:26.680 --> 0:46:29.400
<v Speaker 4>I turned the car off, I put the keys on

0:46:29.440 --> 0:46:31.800
<v Speaker 4>top of the car. I rolled down every single window

0:46:31.840 --> 0:46:33.480
<v Speaker 4>in the car, rolled down the back windows, I rolled

0:46:33.480 --> 0:46:35.239
<v Speaker 4>down the front windows. I turned the lights on in

0:46:35.239 --> 0:46:37.359
<v Speaker 4>the car. I have my hands on the steering wheel

0:46:37.440 --> 0:46:40.520
<v Speaker 4>like this, and I'm like shaking because I don't know

0:46:40.560 --> 0:46:42.839
<v Speaker 4>what's gonna happen, Like I don't know, Like I'm trying

0:46:42.840 --> 0:46:46.120
<v Speaker 4>to think of what I did. I'm like like everything's

0:46:46.160 --> 0:46:47.480
<v Speaker 4>racing through my Head's like did I just run a

0:46:47.480 --> 0:46:49.239
<v Speaker 4>red light that I hit somebody? Like what did I do?

0:46:49.680 --> 0:46:51.680
<v Speaker 4>And like you're just like I feel like I was.

0:46:52.200 --> 0:46:54.160
<v Speaker 4>There was no benefit of the doubt in that moment,

0:46:54.320 --> 0:46:56.560
<v Speaker 4>or there was no yeah, there was no I wasn't

0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:58.680
<v Speaker 4>given any benefit of the doubt, Like it was just like,

0:46:59.360 --> 0:47:02.319
<v Speaker 4>we're gonna find something. And you know, I'm not saying

0:47:02.360 --> 0:47:05.120
<v Speaker 4>that every situation is like that. It just happened that

0:47:05.120 --> 0:47:08.440
<v Speaker 4>that just happened to happen that night like that. And

0:47:08.719 --> 0:47:11.799
<v Speaker 4>I usually have positive interactions with law enforcement. I don't ever,

0:47:11.960 --> 0:47:14.320
<v Speaker 4>you know, find myself. They're typically helping me for something,

0:47:14.920 --> 0:47:16.880
<v Speaker 4>but in this situation, it was it was scary for

0:47:16.920 --> 0:47:17.399
<v Speaker 4>both of us.

0:47:17.680 --> 0:47:19.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, those are the eye opening moments that

0:47:20.640 --> 0:47:23.719
<v Speaker 2>I would be willing to say most white people can't

0:47:23.719 --> 0:47:27.720
<v Speaker 2>even imagine. It's something you actually almost need to see

0:47:28.120 --> 0:47:31.400
<v Speaker 2>to really really understand and get Someone can say it,

0:47:31.400 --> 0:47:32.719
<v Speaker 2>but when you're in it and you watch it and

0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:35.439
<v Speaker 2>you witness it, it's a completely different experience. And again

0:47:35.440 --> 0:47:37.759
<v Speaker 2>it's still a different experience for me because, as you

0:47:37.800 --> 0:47:40.320
<v Speaker 2>pointed out, the police officer asked Rachel if she was okay,

0:47:41.280 --> 0:47:44.440
<v Speaker 2>and that is that is one of those moments where

0:47:44.480 --> 0:47:56.520
<v Speaker 2>you're just like, holy crap, So do you all I

0:47:56.520 --> 0:47:59.160
<v Speaker 2>don't even know in terms of just how you all

0:47:59.200 --> 0:48:02.359
<v Speaker 2>are generally recive. Do you do you have to deal

0:48:02.400 --> 0:48:05.160
<v Speaker 2>with ugly comments? Do you have to deal with critics?

0:48:05.160 --> 0:48:07.319
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and how do you deal with with with

0:48:07.400 --> 0:48:10.280
<v Speaker 2>those types of people in the scrutiny that almost anyone

0:48:10.320 --> 0:48:11.480
<v Speaker 2>who's a public.

0:48:11.520 --> 0:48:13.399
<v Speaker 3>Couple would have to deal with. How do you guys

0:48:13.440 --> 0:48:13.920
<v Speaker 3>handle that?

0:48:15.040 --> 0:48:17.000
<v Speaker 4>I think so much of what Rachel and I share

0:48:17.000 --> 0:48:20.640
<v Speaker 4>and promote on our social platforms is just love positivity,

0:48:20.840 --> 0:48:27.240
<v Speaker 4>like joyfulness, Like we're not digging into the tea behind

0:48:27.280 --> 0:48:30.520
<v Speaker 4>this or like trying to pick apart the negativity here,

0:48:30.640 --> 0:48:33.799
<v Speaker 4>like we're only about the positivity. So like we don't

0:48:33.840 --> 0:48:36.480
<v Speaker 4>even have a breeding ground for like that type of narrative.

0:48:36.560 --> 0:48:39.240
<v Speaker 4>Like if they want that, like there's a million outlets

0:48:39.239 --> 0:48:41.319
<v Speaker 4>for that, Like they can go to this page for

0:48:41.400 --> 0:48:43.000
<v Speaker 4>the gossip, they can go to this page for the

0:48:43.040 --> 0:48:45.600
<v Speaker 4>tea and for the drama. Like that's not really where

0:48:45.680 --> 0:48:48.399
<v Speaker 4>it happens, but if there, if it does happen on

0:48:48.680 --> 0:48:51.359
<v Speaker 4>in our comments or in our messages, it's just as

0:48:51.360 --> 0:48:53.759
<v Speaker 4>simple as a block and a and a you know,

0:48:53.960 --> 0:48:54.799
<v Speaker 4>a deleting.

0:48:54.680 --> 0:48:56.360
<v Speaker 3>A block and a delete. I love a block and athlete.

0:48:56.400 --> 0:48:58.839
<v Speaker 2>In fact, my kids showed me and they went through

0:48:58.880 --> 0:49:01.919
<v Speaker 2>my stuff and there's like key words that you can save.

0:49:02.040 --> 0:49:04.640
<v Speaker 2>Any of these comments have these keywords in it, they

0:49:04.680 --> 0:49:08.879
<v Speaker 2>aren't seen that's crazy, right. I took my young daughter

0:49:09.840 --> 0:49:13.399
<v Speaker 2>on all platforms, TikTok and Instagram. My girls last week

0:49:13.480 --> 0:49:16.200
<v Speaker 2>went through and said, here are the keywords, and I

0:49:16.239 --> 0:49:17.120
<v Speaker 2>won't go through them.

0:49:17.160 --> 0:49:19.000
<v Speaker 3>But he started laughing coming up with them.

0:49:19.560 --> 0:49:22.160
<v Speaker 2>And now that they've gone through, like these twelve words,

0:49:22.520 --> 0:49:23.200
<v Speaker 2>one word, give.

0:49:23.160 --> 0:49:27.640
<v Speaker 4>Us one word, give us one. There's got to be

0:49:27.640 --> 0:49:30.120
<v Speaker 4>one that's appropriate, is it?

0:49:30.680 --> 0:49:36.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean, now, wait, so you can idental, you can

0:49:36.160 --> 0:49:36.960
<v Speaker 1>listen to words.

0:49:37.280 --> 0:49:38.040
<v Speaker 3>You can listen and.

0:49:39.680 --> 0:49:42.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, wait time, I'm just imagining you and your daughters.

0:49:44.760 --> 0:49:45.799
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, and we did that.

0:49:47.360 --> 0:49:49.640
<v Speaker 2>It's totally worked because if you start to look at

0:49:49.640 --> 0:49:51.680
<v Speaker 2>the negative comments, they all kind of say the same thing.

0:49:51.719 --> 0:49:52.799
<v Speaker 3>So you just pick out the.

0:49:52.719 --> 0:49:56.440
<v Speaker 2>Words and then now I have nothing well mostly just

0:49:56.520 --> 0:49:59.200
<v Speaker 2>positive things now. So it's been actually a game changer.

0:49:59.239 --> 0:50:01.759
<v Speaker 2>So just in you have to deal with that, like.

0:50:01.719 --> 0:50:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Two words I need to take out.

0:50:05.239 --> 0:50:07.479
<v Speaker 2>I actually don't want to give them any life. That's

0:50:07.520 --> 0:50:09.239
<v Speaker 2>actually why I don't want to say them. But yeah,

0:50:09.280 --> 0:50:12.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking, oh yeah, but I'm thinking you could probably

0:50:12.200 --> 0:50:14.040
<v Speaker 2>figure out what the words are. I actually just don't

0:50:14.080 --> 0:50:16.000
<v Speaker 2>want to give them any power. So I don't want

0:50:16.040 --> 0:50:18.719
<v Speaker 2>to save them out loud, because then people might try

0:50:18.719 --> 0:50:21.440
<v Speaker 2>to find another word to get around it, and I.

0:50:21.360 --> 0:50:23.920
<v Speaker 3>Don't want to give anybody any ideas what words I

0:50:24.000 --> 0:50:28.560
<v Speaker 3>used to block. It's a game. It makes a difference,

0:50:28.719 --> 0:50:30.480
<v Speaker 3>It makes a total difference.

0:50:30.560 --> 0:50:32.480
<v Speaker 1>You know you you're like you said, but you're a

0:50:32.480 --> 0:50:35.239
<v Speaker 1>big part and there's so much there. I mean, God,

0:50:35.280 --> 0:50:40.160
<v Speaker 1>how many blogs or sites or dedicated to just Bachelor Nation?

0:50:41.360 --> 0:50:41.640
<v Speaker 4>Do you?

0:50:41.719 --> 0:50:45.000
<v Speaker 1>Are you a proud alum of Bachelor Nation?

0:50:45.800 --> 0:50:46.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:50:46.160 --> 0:50:48.719
<v Speaker 4>I mean it gave me one of the best things

0:50:48.760 --> 0:50:51.640
<v Speaker 4>that's ever happened to me, which is my relationship with Rachel.

0:50:51.800 --> 0:50:54.800
<v Speaker 4>Like I wouldn't be in I wouldn't be in a

0:50:54.880 --> 0:50:56.480
<v Speaker 4>relationship with the woman I love if it wasn't for

0:50:56.520 --> 0:51:00.400
<v Speaker 4>the show. And there was more positive than negative that

0:51:00.440 --> 0:51:02.600
<v Speaker 4>came from it. There's negativity and everything, but if you

0:51:02.880 --> 0:51:04.440
<v Speaker 4>and if we decided to dwell on it, then that

0:51:04.520 --> 0:51:07.560
<v Speaker 4>just tarnishes anything. Like there's probably an experience we all

0:51:07.560 --> 0:51:09.680
<v Speaker 4>had in college where it's like, when someone asked you

0:51:09.719 --> 0:51:12.000
<v Speaker 4>about college, you think about the best times you had.

0:51:12.040 --> 0:51:14.279
<v Speaker 4>It's like, man, that one time where I failed that

0:51:14.360 --> 0:51:16.520
<v Speaker 4>test and I was hungover, Like, no, you don't think

0:51:16.520 --> 0:51:18.920
<v Speaker 4>about that stuff. You think about all of the things

0:51:18.960 --> 0:51:23.840
<v Speaker 4>that made that experience joyful, and yeah, I am happy

0:51:23.880 --> 0:51:30.239
<v Speaker 4>about I'm happy, I'm proud about the experience. But a

0:51:30.280 --> 0:51:34.120
<v Speaker 4>lot of what comes with being a part of that

0:51:34.160 --> 0:51:42.160
<v Speaker 4>show is speculating on relationships and rumors and gossip and

0:51:42.200 --> 0:51:46.279
<v Speaker 4>weighing in on things, and frankly, I don't want to

0:51:46.320 --> 0:51:49.080
<v Speaker 4>be a part of anything negative into anybody's life. So

0:51:49.400 --> 0:51:51.520
<v Speaker 4>that's the only reason why I steer clear of those

0:51:51.560 --> 0:51:55.200
<v Speaker 4>type of conversations. So like, there's I have love for everybody,

0:51:55.520 --> 0:51:57.640
<v Speaker 4>like I don't have ill will towards anybody, And if

0:51:57.640 --> 0:52:00.839
<v Speaker 4>anybody ever reaches out to me, I'm there to chop

0:52:00.880 --> 0:52:02.719
<v Speaker 4>it up with him, but I'll never go out of

0:52:02.719 --> 0:52:05.680
<v Speaker 4>my way to like, you know, insert myself into something

0:52:05.680 --> 0:52:08.080
<v Speaker 4>that a place I don't think I should be. But

0:52:08.080 --> 0:52:10.040
<v Speaker 4>if someone reaches out, I'm there. And I've had a

0:52:10.040 --> 0:52:12.680
<v Speaker 4>bunch of former Bachelor and Bachelorettes reach out after the

0:52:12.719 --> 0:52:14.400
<v Speaker 4>season being like, how did you navigate this? How do

0:52:14.440 --> 0:52:17.440
<v Speaker 4>you navigate that? And I'm there to give advice and

0:52:17.560 --> 0:52:19.960
<v Speaker 4>a sounding board, and I'll reach out similar to how

0:52:20.400 --> 0:52:22.400
<v Speaker 4>our conversations were when you were going through stuff to

0:52:22.520 --> 0:52:24.920
<v Speaker 4>know that, like you know, sometimes you're living in a bubble,

0:52:25.400 --> 0:52:27.799
<v Speaker 4>like it's like you think that you're at you know,

0:52:27.800 --> 0:52:29.160
<v Speaker 4>you're at the grocery store and you're like, oh, that

0:52:29.160 --> 0:52:31.120
<v Speaker 4>person knows about this. It's like, man, they're just trying

0:52:31.120 --> 0:52:34.399
<v Speaker 4>to get cheese. Like so not everyone's always thinking about

0:52:34.440 --> 0:52:36.719
<v Speaker 4>what you're going through, Like like, it's okay.

0:52:36.960 --> 0:52:39.759
<v Speaker 2>Do you have a relationship with Have you talked to

0:52:39.960 --> 0:52:42.560
<v Speaker 2>Chris Harrison at all after everything that happened.

0:52:42.719 --> 0:52:44.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we're in the same fantasy league. We're in the

0:52:44.440 --> 0:52:48.200
<v Speaker 4>same football fantasy league, so there's there. There have been

0:52:48.239 --> 0:52:53.239
<v Speaker 4>multiple conversations there and we have mutual friends. One of

0:52:53.239 --> 0:52:56.839
<v Speaker 4>my one of my really good friends, Jack Arnold, who's

0:52:56.880 --> 0:53:00.240
<v Speaker 4>a chef, always face sounds me when he's with them,

0:53:01.080 --> 0:53:03.440
<v Speaker 4>So there's no bad blood. Like I understand everyone has

0:53:03.440 --> 0:53:08.200
<v Speaker 4>a job to do, and I, uh, you know, the

0:53:08.239 --> 0:53:13.360
<v Speaker 4>way I look at everything in life is that I

0:53:13.480 --> 0:53:17.840
<v Speaker 4>every single day in my life, I make horrible decisions

0:53:18.360 --> 0:53:23.800
<v Speaker 4>like I, you know, might oversleep and I'll miss a

0:53:23.840 --> 0:53:25.319
<v Speaker 4>train and I'll be late to something that has a

0:53:25.360 --> 0:53:28.799
<v Speaker 4>ripple effect to something else. I'll get in a conversation,

0:53:28.960 --> 0:53:30.680
<v Speaker 4>I'll say something to Rachel that I wish I could

0:53:30.680 --> 0:53:36.319
<v Speaker 4>take back, and I'm given forgiveness for that, and so

0:53:37.760 --> 0:53:40.600
<v Speaker 4>if I'm given forgiveness for the things that I do

0:53:41.120 --> 0:53:43.600
<v Speaker 4>and wrong people like who am I not to forgive

0:53:43.640 --> 0:53:47.799
<v Speaker 4>people who I think have had that similar experience. So,

0:53:48.080 --> 0:53:51.040
<v Speaker 4>I mean, that's my healthy approach to dealing with anything

0:53:51.080 --> 0:53:55.240
<v Speaker 4>with anybody that you know there might be bad blood.

0:53:55.239 --> 0:53:57.320
<v Speaker 4>It's like, I'm not going to hold a grudge because

0:53:57.400 --> 0:53:58.960
<v Speaker 4>you know, God doesn't hold a grudge for the things

0:53:58.960 --> 0:54:01.239
<v Speaker 4>that I've done. And when I look, when I take

0:54:01.280 --> 0:54:05.200
<v Speaker 4>that approach towards anything, then again, it promotes the positivity

0:54:05.239 --> 0:54:07.000
<v Speaker 4>and I don't have time to dwell on the hate

0:54:07.080 --> 0:54:09.960
<v Speaker 4>because it just it's it's not hurting that person, it's

0:54:10.040 --> 0:54:12.920
<v Speaker 4>hurting you. You know, You're just it's just it's not

0:54:12.960 --> 0:54:13.359
<v Speaker 4>worth it.

0:54:13.760 --> 0:54:15.279
<v Speaker 1>You're in a fantasy league with them now. But it

0:54:15.320 --> 0:54:17.920
<v Speaker 1>did take a while, did it? Or were there some

0:54:17.960 --> 0:54:21.839
<v Speaker 1>early uncomfortable first few conversations or was it kind of

0:54:22.040 --> 0:54:22.880
<v Speaker 1>squashed early on?

0:54:23.239 --> 0:54:28.239
<v Speaker 4>It wasn't like like it wasn't even addressed. It wasn't

0:54:28.280 --> 0:54:33.759
<v Speaker 4>even like like like from a in the fantasy I

0:54:33.880 --> 0:54:36.520
<v Speaker 4>use the fantasy league as like a like if you

0:54:37.000 --> 0:54:39.520
<v Speaker 4>had disdain or ill will for someone like I'm sure

0:54:39.560 --> 0:54:42.440
<v Speaker 4>you probably wouldn't be in the same fantasy leagueism. But

0:54:42.920 --> 0:54:46.040
<v Speaker 4>I say that to say that, like our fantasy league

0:54:46.040 --> 0:54:47.960
<v Speaker 4>is about fantasy football, it's not about like the Matt

0:54:48.000 --> 0:54:50.319
<v Speaker 4>and Chris relationship. But there we had. We had a

0:54:50.320 --> 0:54:55.400
<v Speaker 4>conversation after uh, after everything's take place, after everything took place,

0:54:55.560 --> 0:55:00.520
<v Speaker 4>and it was it was a good conversation. It wasn't

0:55:00.800 --> 0:55:02.719
<v Speaker 4>I did. I didn't screen his call, like if he

0:55:02.800 --> 0:55:07.680
<v Speaker 4>text me, I'll respond, But yeah, there was no there's

0:55:07.680 --> 0:55:12.360
<v Speaker 4>no hard feelings for for anybody, just based off of

0:55:12.400 --> 0:55:16.280
<v Speaker 4>the way that I look at life and the grace

0:55:16.320 --> 0:55:16.800
<v Speaker 4>I'm shown.

0:55:16.960 --> 0:55:22.280
<v Speaker 3>So do you think he should have left the Bachelor?

0:55:22.360 --> 0:55:24.840
<v Speaker 3>He should have lost his job over that?

0:55:26.880 --> 0:55:30.719
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, Like it's I don't I don't know

0:55:30.719 --> 0:55:34.239
<v Speaker 4>who who I am to make that judgment call. I

0:55:34.320 --> 0:55:37.680
<v Speaker 4>obviously didn't make it because you know he was, he

0:55:37.760 --> 0:55:43.000
<v Speaker 4>was there after whatever we went through happened. But I

0:55:43.200 --> 0:55:47.520
<v Speaker 4>don't wish. I don't wish anybody. I don't wish. I

0:55:47.520 --> 0:55:51.600
<v Speaker 4>don't wish any harm on anybody. And when you have

0:55:51.680 --> 0:55:56.680
<v Speaker 4>a situation like that, like what is the right way

0:55:56.680 --> 0:55:58.920
<v Speaker 4>to go forward? Like who who who is to make

0:55:58.960 --> 0:56:03.080
<v Speaker 4>that judgment call? So for him, I mean, whoever handled

0:56:03.080 --> 0:56:06.759
<v Speaker 4>the situation handled it? How they best all fit, and

0:56:08.360 --> 0:56:12.080
<v Speaker 4>the show goes on. I mean the show would and

0:56:12.120 --> 0:56:15.560
<v Speaker 4>will be there long after he's gone, long after I'm gone.

0:56:16.000 --> 0:56:19.160
<v Speaker 4>So I mean maybe something that was gonna happen inevitably

0:56:19.280 --> 0:56:22.719
<v Speaker 4>just was sped up. And from what I've seen from

0:56:22.760 --> 0:56:26.759
<v Speaker 4>him and his relationship with Lauren and what he's doing now,

0:56:26.800 --> 0:56:30.200
<v Speaker 4>like it was a chapter. Like everything in life is

0:56:30.200 --> 0:56:33.080
<v Speaker 4>a chapter, and I think it's dangerous when you make

0:56:33.160 --> 0:56:36.240
<v Speaker 4>something that's meant to be a chapter your whole book.

0:56:36.800 --> 0:56:40.120
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, I mean I don't know, do I think

0:56:40.160 --> 0:56:43.319
<v Speaker 4>it was the right thing? Like, Thank goodness, I don't

0:56:43.320 --> 0:56:45.160
<v Speaker 4>have to make any type of calls like that because

0:56:45.719 --> 0:56:48.680
<v Speaker 4>you know, I probably make things based more off emotion

0:56:48.800 --> 0:56:55.240
<v Speaker 4>than like how things should go. But yeah, like I said,

0:56:55.520 --> 0:56:59.840
<v Speaker 4>the show will be here long after us, and some

0:57:00.040 --> 0:57:02.040
<v Speaker 4>thing that would have happened inevitably just happened sooner.

0:57:02.120 --> 0:57:03.520
<v Speaker 3>So you watching the current season?

0:57:04.200 --> 0:57:13.400
<v Speaker 4>Uh there's no, no, no, but like like not because

0:57:13.400 --> 0:57:16.440
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to watch it, Like well, I just

0:57:17.200 --> 0:57:21.160
<v Speaker 4>like I'm watching like True Detective, Like there's like season four,

0:57:21.240 --> 0:57:23.000
<v Speaker 4>like like what's her name?

0:57:24.760 --> 0:57:26.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we were just talking about that show.

0:57:27.200 --> 0:57:30.160
<v Speaker 4>I've this is a very weird reason to have a

0:57:30.200 --> 0:57:32.400
<v Speaker 4>crush on somebody, but I had a crush on Jeddie

0:57:32.440 --> 0:57:34.400
<v Speaker 4>Foster since like Silence of the Lamps.

0:57:34.640 --> 0:57:39.360
<v Speaker 3>Such a good movie. Yes, yeah, so like Larry's yeah agent.

0:57:39.680 --> 0:57:42.080
<v Speaker 4>So when she was gonna be on Detective season four,

0:57:42.240 --> 0:57:46.560
<v Speaker 4>Like that's I mean, I'm watching TV. But and the

0:57:46.600 --> 0:57:51.960
<v Speaker 4>thing about being a former uh lead you you get

0:57:52.000 --> 0:57:55.080
<v Speaker 4>all the tea anyways, Like like I know what happened

0:57:55.560 --> 0:57:58.560
<v Speaker 4>and what's gonna happen because I have friends who are producers.

0:57:58.720 --> 0:58:01.200
<v Speaker 4>I have friends who you know, you're you're connected, so

0:58:01.240 --> 0:58:02.200
<v Speaker 4>I know what's going on.

0:58:02.480 --> 0:58:04.320
<v Speaker 3>You already know how it ends everything.

0:58:04.960 --> 0:58:08.720
<v Speaker 1>I think you know how this season ends. Yeah, don't

0:58:08.800 --> 0:58:10.760
<v Speaker 1>tell me that, because it's our job to get it

0:58:10.760 --> 0:58:12.480
<v Speaker 1>out of you, just as much.

0:58:12.320 --> 0:58:16.280
<v Speaker 4>As anybody else knows. Like, like who knows if it's true?

0:58:16.440 --> 0:58:18.480
<v Speaker 4>Like from people I've talked to people who were there,

0:58:18.640 --> 0:58:20.480
<v Speaker 4>it's like, you know, it could be a lie, but

0:58:21.080 --> 0:58:23.440
<v Speaker 4>it's it's it was information that was offered up. You know.

0:58:23.480 --> 0:58:25.280
<v Speaker 4>It's it's not like I was like, yeah, yeah, like,

0:58:25.520 --> 0:58:27.040
<v Speaker 4>so tell me how it is.

0:58:27.200 --> 0:58:32.760
<v Speaker 1>Wait, so what you're talking about is already out there? No, okay,

0:58:33.120 --> 0:58:35.720
<v Speaker 1>so you know the post stuff and yeah, yeah, the

0:58:36.320 --> 0:58:38.840
<v Speaker 1>piece together that it was probably this because he knows

0:58:38.960 --> 0:58:43.360
<v Speaker 1>that you actually know right now who what happens at

0:58:43.360 --> 0:58:44.560
<v Speaker 1>the end of this season with The Bachelor.

0:58:45.720 --> 0:58:49.080
<v Speaker 3>Yes, based off what I was told from people who

0:58:49.080 --> 0:58:50.880
<v Speaker 3>would know. Though, from people who would know, I have

0:58:50.920 --> 0:58:51.400
<v Speaker 3>a question.

0:58:52.800 --> 0:58:57.480
<v Speaker 2>Did you have you and Rachel together sat down and

0:58:57.640 --> 0:59:00.000
<v Speaker 2>watched your season up The Bachelor?

0:59:00.280 --> 0:59:00.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

0:59:00.520 --> 0:59:02.640
<v Speaker 4>No, I don't think we'll ever watch the season together.

0:59:03.520 --> 0:59:08.400
<v Speaker 4>And just because like it's it's a it's a weird

0:59:08.600 --> 0:59:14.080
<v Speaker 4>dynamic because you're with that person now and you weren't

0:59:14.120 --> 0:59:15.600
<v Speaker 4>together when you were making.

0:59:15.560 --> 0:59:16.920
<v Speaker 3>You were kissing other women.

0:59:16.720 --> 0:59:19.360
<v Speaker 4>You were kissing other women. But like I I am

0:59:19.400 --> 0:59:23.520
<v Speaker 4>not ashamed of anything that I did or said on

0:59:23.680 --> 0:59:26.880
<v Speaker 4>the show. And I think that I think one of

0:59:26.880 --> 0:59:30.280
<v Speaker 4>the reasons why Rachel respects me as much as she

0:59:30.360 --> 0:59:34.400
<v Speaker 4>does is the consistency and my messaging and my actions

0:59:34.440 --> 0:59:36.520
<v Speaker 4>from the moment that we met to where we are now,

0:59:36.600 --> 0:59:39.960
<v Speaker 4>because it hasn't changed. Yeah, you know, I wasn't and

0:59:40.080 --> 0:59:42.080
<v Speaker 4>to each his own like, but I wasn't, you know,

0:59:42.520 --> 0:59:44.640
<v Speaker 4>telling a lot of multiple people I loved them and

0:59:44.720 --> 0:59:46.760
<v Speaker 4>just taking this opportunity to like sleep with a bunch

0:59:46.800 --> 0:59:49.040
<v Speaker 4>of people, Like that's just not who I am. And

0:59:49.240 --> 0:59:52.840
<v Speaker 4>does that happen on the show? Yeah, And like again

0:59:52.920 --> 0:59:54.480
<v Speaker 4>like if that's how you want to go about finding

0:59:54.520 --> 0:59:56.320
<v Speaker 4>the person you want to be with, like, I'm not

0:59:56.400 --> 0:59:58.440
<v Speaker 4>stopping them because it gets people to that point, but

0:59:58.480 --> 0:59:59.800
<v Speaker 4>it's not something I needed to do.

1:00:00.000 --> 1:00:01.440
<v Speaker 2>Can you be in love with I mean, if you've

1:00:01.440 --> 1:00:04.200
<v Speaker 2>watched any of these shows or any of these seasons,

1:00:04.400 --> 1:00:06.320
<v Speaker 2>the question I think a lot of people ask, can

1:00:06.360 --> 1:00:08.160
<v Speaker 2>you be in love with more than one person at

1:00:08.200 --> 1:00:08.840
<v Speaker 2>the same time?

1:00:09.080 --> 1:00:11.080
<v Speaker 4>I think you can lust more than one person at

1:00:11.080 --> 1:00:13.880
<v Speaker 4>one time. But when you really love somebody and you've

1:00:13.880 --> 1:00:16.280
<v Speaker 4>been in love, like, there's just certain things you wouldn't

1:00:16.280 --> 1:00:18.120
<v Speaker 4>do to that person. So I think if you really

1:00:18.160 --> 1:00:20.760
<v Speaker 4>love somebody, like if I'm telling you I love you

1:00:20.800 --> 1:00:22.840
<v Speaker 4>and then I'm going to sleep with somebody else, Like

1:00:23.640 --> 1:00:28.760
<v Speaker 4>I don't personally think that's love, but again in the

1:00:29.080 --> 1:00:32.160
<v Speaker 4>figuring out process, like some people have to do certain

1:00:32.240 --> 1:00:34.280
<v Speaker 4>things to figure out who they want to be with.

1:00:34.480 --> 1:00:36.040
<v Speaker 4>And I'm not going to knock that because I'm not

1:00:36.040 --> 1:00:36.720
<v Speaker 4>the love doctor.

1:00:36.800 --> 1:00:39.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, and I asked if you and Rachel watched your

1:00:39.080 --> 1:00:43.360
<v Speaker 2>season together, but have you individually and has she individually

1:00:43.680 --> 1:00:47.760
<v Speaker 2>watched the season as it was released to the public.

1:00:47.960 --> 1:00:50.000
<v Speaker 4>You know, it's funny. I think that like when the

1:00:50.080 --> 1:00:52.720
<v Speaker 4>show's coming out, it's like so exciting, So like you're

1:00:52.720 --> 1:00:54.960
<v Speaker 4>having these watch parties and like all her girlfriends are

1:00:54.960 --> 1:00:57.680
<v Speaker 4>over and like, oh my gosh, like you're kind of

1:00:57.720 --> 1:01:00.800
<v Speaker 4>have a limo. And then like see in week two

1:01:01.040 --> 1:01:02.920
<v Speaker 4>and then and then it starts to get serious and

1:01:02.960 --> 1:01:04.960
<v Speaker 4>it's like, you know, the watch parties kind of end.

1:01:05.680 --> 1:01:08.479
<v Speaker 4>You know, you're not like tweeting about the episode. It's

1:01:08.520 --> 1:01:11.720
<v Speaker 4>like you might have seen a very serious conversation with

1:01:11.760 --> 1:01:14.520
<v Speaker 4>somebody else. So it's it's it gets weird. Yeah, it

1:01:14.520 --> 1:01:15.040
<v Speaker 4>gets weird.

1:01:15.120 --> 1:01:17.720
<v Speaker 3>It's hard. I mean, I'm imagining how hard that would be.

1:01:17.920 --> 1:01:20.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, So I mean, and but the thing with Rachel

1:01:20.680 --> 1:01:22.640
<v Speaker 4>and I is she knew where I stood, like I

1:01:22.680 --> 1:01:27.360
<v Speaker 4>and I told her. I gave her confirmation on my

1:01:27.440 --> 1:01:30.200
<v Speaker 4>feelings for her. And but she could have taken that

1:01:30.560 --> 1:01:32.040
<v Speaker 4>any way she wanted. She could have been like, oh,

1:01:32.040 --> 1:01:34.600
<v Speaker 4>it's probably telling everybody that and that's just not who

1:01:34.680 --> 1:01:36.400
<v Speaker 4>I am. I'm sure people, you know, tell a bunch

1:01:36.440 --> 1:01:38.480
<v Speaker 4>of people that, Yo, this is us, this is us,

1:01:38.480 --> 1:01:40.760
<v Speaker 4>this is us. But you know, she took my word

1:01:40.800 --> 1:01:44.120
<v Speaker 4>at face value, and like that trust is like built

1:01:44.400 --> 1:01:46.720
<v Speaker 4>the love and admiration I have for her because I'm like,

1:01:47.640 --> 1:01:51.200
<v Speaker 4>she for no, like there's no reason why she should

1:01:51.200 --> 1:01:52.520
<v Speaker 4>have trusted anything I said.

1:01:52.640 --> 1:01:55.400
<v Speaker 3>She didn't really know me like seven hours.

1:01:55.160 --> 1:01:59.360
<v Speaker 4>Right until yeah, maybe less, but like she she believed

1:01:59.360 --> 1:02:02.600
<v Speaker 4>me and like trusted me in like that meant a lot.

1:02:03.080 --> 1:02:06.960
<v Speaker 4>Like she's like okay, like never faltered from it. I'm

1:02:07.000 --> 1:02:16.480
<v Speaker 4>just like, dang, she's a real one.

1:02:17.440 --> 1:02:20.680
<v Speaker 1>It's amazing to hear you because again, we have obviously

1:02:20.840 --> 1:02:22.280
<v Speaker 1>robes and I have been through a lot when it

1:02:22.280 --> 1:02:24.520
<v Speaker 1>comes to relationships and it comes to marriages and being

1:02:24.560 --> 1:02:27.760
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship publicly and in a racial relationship, all this.

1:02:27.840 --> 1:02:30.800
<v Speaker 1>But you are sitting here talking about Rachel in such

1:02:30.800 --> 1:02:35.120
<v Speaker 1>a way, in a loving way that we always say

1:02:35.120 --> 1:02:39.680
<v Speaker 1>this love relationships, marriage, It's messy sometimes. And to see

1:02:39.680 --> 1:02:43.720
<v Speaker 1>you sitting here at this point, this happy and speaking

1:02:43.760 --> 1:02:47.480
<v Speaker 1>this publicly and strongly about her, given that, yeah, you

1:02:47.560 --> 1:02:49.400
<v Speaker 1>had to go on a show, you were the first

1:02:49.480 --> 1:02:53.320
<v Speaker 1>black bachelor, Your season went the hell because of controversy

1:02:53.400 --> 1:02:56.080
<v Speaker 1>in a lot of ways. You break up with her,

1:02:56.280 --> 1:02:59.640
<v Speaker 1>you get back with her, but that is messy as hell.

1:03:00.400 --> 1:03:02.520
<v Speaker 1>But you're sitting here happy at this end, and I

1:03:02.520 --> 1:03:05.920
<v Speaker 1>don't know how any of us could not be happy

1:03:06.040 --> 1:03:09.760
<v Speaker 1>or take you with your face value that you love her,

1:03:09.760 --> 1:03:14.200
<v Speaker 1>And it's just another great example of is just messy

1:03:14.240 --> 1:03:17.200
<v Speaker 1>and ugly sometimes to get to this point.

1:03:17.400 --> 1:03:18.320
<v Speaker 3>What a journey man.

1:03:18.440 --> 1:03:22.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, she's a rider, like she's There's this trend for

1:03:22.720 --> 1:03:25.120
<v Speaker 4>a while where people were telling their they were coming home,

1:03:25.120 --> 1:03:27.320
<v Speaker 4>and the parents were coming home to their kids, and

1:03:27.320 --> 1:03:29.200
<v Speaker 4>they were telling their kid like, let's say, your little

1:03:29.280 --> 1:03:31.760
<v Speaker 4>son's name is Billy. You're coming, like Billy, Like this

1:03:31.800 --> 1:03:33.280
<v Speaker 4>little kid down the street picked a fight with me.

1:03:33.400 --> 1:03:34.680
<v Speaker 4>The parents said like, I need you to go beat

1:03:34.680 --> 1:03:36.320
<v Speaker 4>this kid up. And Billy gets up, He's all right,

1:03:36.400 --> 1:03:38.600
<v Speaker 4>let's go. And like these little kids were like riding

1:03:38.640 --> 1:03:42.320
<v Speaker 4>out for their parents. And I feel like, Rachel, if

1:03:42.360 --> 1:03:44.200
<v Speaker 4>there was anything I ever need, like Rachel, I need

1:03:44.240 --> 1:03:45.800
<v Speaker 4>you to do, like not to beat somebody up, but

1:03:45.880 --> 1:03:53.080
<v Speaker 4>like there's just nothing that like there's just so much

1:03:53.120 --> 1:03:55.840
<v Speaker 4>love there that like she would we would do anything

1:03:55.880 --> 1:03:56.360
<v Speaker 4>for each other.

1:03:56.600 --> 1:03:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Am I the only one that he was telling that story.

1:03:58.600 --> 1:04:00.800
<v Speaker 1>All I saw now was a like a little baby

1:04:00.880 --> 1:04:02.520
<v Speaker 1>Rachel going out and beating somebody up.

1:04:04.720 --> 1:04:05.960
<v Speaker 3>Well, can you?

1:04:06.040 --> 1:04:08.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean? And I don't want to harp on the negative,

1:04:08.000 --> 1:04:10.200
<v Speaker 2>but I think it's important to recognize where you've been

1:04:10.280 --> 1:04:12.360
<v Speaker 2>to figure out or at least the perspective of where

1:04:12.400 --> 1:04:12.720
<v Speaker 2>you are.

1:04:13.160 --> 1:04:14.640
<v Speaker 3>What was the lowest moment.

1:04:15.400 --> 1:04:20.760
<v Speaker 4>MM Probably when I thought that I would never talk

1:04:20.800 --> 1:04:24.600
<v Speaker 4>to her again. And that was like right after the

1:04:24.600 --> 1:04:27.280
<v Speaker 4>show when we broke up, because I felt like it

1:04:27.320 --> 1:04:29.880
<v Speaker 4>was the right thing to do. I'm like, yeah, guys,

1:04:29.960 --> 1:04:32.000
<v Speaker 4>like everyone out there like we did it, like I

1:04:32.040 --> 1:04:33.280
<v Speaker 4>did it, like I did it.

1:04:33.760 --> 1:04:35.200
<v Speaker 3>You felt pressure to break up with her?

1:04:36.520 --> 1:04:38.960
<v Speaker 4>I just felt like I felt like there was something

1:04:38.960 --> 1:04:41.680
<v Speaker 4>that that conversation we had at the end of the

1:04:41.720 --> 1:04:46.560
<v Speaker 4>show on like the AFR man that was tough. That

1:04:46.720 --> 1:04:49.760
<v Speaker 4>was like I don't think we were together at that

1:04:49.760 --> 1:04:50.640
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, we weren't together.

1:04:50.720 --> 1:04:53.600
<v Speaker 3>Weren't together, right, Yeah, you guys were, Yeah.

1:04:53.400 --> 1:04:54.880
<v Speaker 4>We went. That was like the first time I'd seen

1:04:54.960 --> 1:04:57.360
<v Speaker 4>him forever, and like you're just like forced to have

1:04:57.400 --> 1:04:59.600
<v Speaker 4>this like conversation with someone that you like still love

1:05:00.000 --> 1:05:04.400
<v Speaker 4>you're not together because like you don't really know if

1:05:04.440 --> 1:05:07.480
<v Speaker 4>you know each other because like that seven hours, it's

1:05:07.520 --> 1:05:09.960
<v Speaker 4>like like I think I know you, Like I think

1:05:10.000 --> 1:05:12.480
<v Speaker 4>what we experienced was real, but like is it real?

1:05:13.120 --> 1:05:15.720
<v Speaker 4>Like are you really this much of a rider, like,

1:05:15.760 --> 1:05:18.960
<v Speaker 4>are you really this down for me? And like that

1:05:19.000 --> 1:05:22.720
<v Speaker 4>takes years to figure out? Like from my experience, it

1:05:22.760 --> 1:05:27.840
<v Speaker 4>took us almost ten. Yeah, Like I mean, so that

1:05:28.000 --> 1:05:29.600
<v Speaker 4>was like kind of what I was trying to figure out.

1:05:29.640 --> 1:05:32.160
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, do I like, is she who she says

1:05:32.200 --> 1:05:34.920
<v Speaker 4>she is? And once I figured out that she was

1:05:34.960 --> 1:05:36.880
<v Speaker 4>and she never faltered off that, I'm like, man, I

1:05:36.920 --> 1:05:40.440
<v Speaker 4>can't let this go. But yeah, that was the craziest thing.

1:05:40.480 --> 1:05:43.960
<v Speaker 4>It's like trying to discern what is and isn't real,

1:05:44.280 --> 1:05:46.120
<v Speaker 4>and it was she was real the whole time.

1:05:46.320 --> 1:05:49.320
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, and you can knock me down for this,

1:05:49.480 --> 1:05:51.919
<v Speaker 1>but I I'm trying to think if we've talked about

1:05:51.920 --> 1:05:54.840
<v Speaker 1>this privately before I say this here. No, No, it's

1:05:54.920 --> 1:05:57.120
<v Speaker 1>not a bad thing, but it does play a role.

1:05:57.160 --> 1:05:59.280
<v Speaker 1>It played a role with us recently. But so much

1:05:59.280 --> 1:06:00.960
<v Speaker 1>of what was coming at you and coming at her

1:06:01.160 --> 1:06:03.800
<v Speaker 1>at the time had to do with her doing something

1:06:03.880 --> 1:06:06.400
<v Speaker 1>that many viewed as racist. And here you are, as

1:06:06.440 --> 1:06:10.080
<v Speaker 1>a black man being celebrated, applauded, and we all applauded

1:06:10.120 --> 1:06:12.040
<v Speaker 1>the show, even like all right, you got a brother

1:06:12.080 --> 1:06:17.439
<v Speaker 1>in there. That's great, And what did you feel even

1:06:17.480 --> 1:06:20.600
<v Speaker 1>if it was perceived from the black community. It say, Wow,

1:06:20.640 --> 1:06:23.240
<v Speaker 1>everybody loves me, They're down for me, and now I

1:06:23.280 --> 1:06:24.960
<v Speaker 1>love this girl. I think I love this girl. This

1:06:25.040 --> 1:06:28.120
<v Speaker 1>is something special with her that they are looking at

1:06:28.160 --> 1:06:30.440
<v Speaker 1>her now, Like how dare How could I as a

1:06:30.480 --> 1:06:34.480
<v Speaker 1>black man be with a woman that everybody thinks is

1:06:34.680 --> 1:06:38.360
<v Speaker 1>this thing? How did you deal with that in your

1:06:38.400 --> 1:06:39.800
<v Speaker 1>own head? Like I said, some of it might have

1:06:39.840 --> 1:06:42.520
<v Speaker 1>been perceived, but some of it was actually out there

1:06:42.560 --> 1:06:42.960
<v Speaker 1>as well.

1:06:43.080 --> 1:06:47.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, this is like the most like politically incorrect way

1:06:47.480 --> 1:06:52.920
<v Speaker 4>to draw a comparison. But I recently watched the OJ

1:06:53.160 --> 1:06:58.880
<v Speaker 4>documentary and which was I mean, the way that the

1:06:58.920 --> 1:07:01.120
<v Speaker 4>story was I want alive during that time, so I

1:07:01.120 --> 1:07:03.960
<v Speaker 4>had no idea and I'm learning in real time, and

1:07:04.120 --> 1:07:08.920
<v Speaker 4>as I watched the trial play on and the verdict

1:07:09.040 --> 1:07:12.760
<v Speaker 4>come out, and this is my interpretation of it, it

1:07:12.800 --> 1:07:16.000
<v Speaker 4>was less about the verdict and it was more about

1:07:16.280 --> 1:07:20.320
<v Speaker 4>black first white. And so when I think about our relationship,

1:07:20.400 --> 1:07:22.120
<v Speaker 4>it was more. It was less about the love and

1:07:22.160 --> 1:07:26.960
<v Speaker 4>it was more about the black first white. And when

1:07:27.000 --> 1:07:30.960
<v Speaker 4>when that's the case, like you lose sight of what's important.

1:07:31.880 --> 1:07:33.640
<v Speaker 4>I don't know if that answers the question, but that's

1:07:34.200 --> 1:07:34.720
<v Speaker 4>I get it.

1:07:34.760 --> 1:07:36.880
<v Speaker 3>I get it. We were alive for the trial. In fact,

1:07:36.880 --> 1:07:37.800
<v Speaker 3>I was in a newsroom.

1:07:38.160 --> 1:07:38.880
<v Speaker 4>That's crazy.

1:07:39.120 --> 1:07:42.400
<v Speaker 2>That's how an age gaft. I was in a classroom. Still,

1:07:43.480 --> 1:07:46.120
<v Speaker 2>that was my first job. It was my first job

1:07:46.760 --> 1:07:48.960
<v Speaker 2>in college. Oh, my first year in high school. Yeah,

1:07:49.520 --> 1:07:52.560
<v Speaker 2>stop it, that is not true. That is not true.

1:07:53.760 --> 1:07:56.760
<v Speaker 2>But I remember being in my in in my first newsroom.

1:07:57.080 --> 1:08:00.440
<v Speaker 2>I think I was twenty two and watching Oprah and

1:08:00.480 --> 1:08:03.800
<v Speaker 2>watching the black reaction versus the white reaction when it

1:08:03.840 --> 1:08:06.000
<v Speaker 2>all it was, it's funny. I get what you're saying.

1:08:06.080 --> 1:08:08.520
<v Speaker 2>I totally get what you're saying. It makes sense. I

1:08:08.560 --> 1:08:11.240
<v Speaker 2>want to also ask about we can't not ask about

1:08:11.240 --> 1:08:13.800
<v Speaker 2>your mom. I mean, your mom joined that was crazy

1:08:13.840 --> 1:08:14.520
<v Speaker 2>Bachelor Nation.

1:08:14.600 --> 1:08:17.000
<v Speaker 3>What was that like for you? As her son?

1:08:17.560 --> 1:08:17.680
<v Speaker 1>Uh?

1:08:18.360 --> 1:08:21.240
<v Speaker 4>I was happy for you know, I'm pro like anybody

1:08:21.240 --> 1:08:25.360
<v Speaker 4>being happy. So like this opportunity made her really excited

1:08:25.400 --> 1:08:29.879
<v Speaker 4>about something I'd never seen her excited about and dating

1:08:30.040 --> 1:08:33.880
<v Speaker 4>and getting back out there like and I say never,

1:08:34.000 --> 1:08:36.760
<v Speaker 4>but like in a long time, because the order you get,

1:08:36.800 --> 1:08:39.800
<v Speaker 4>the prospects dry up and it's not impossible, but like

1:08:41.360 --> 1:08:43.920
<v Speaker 4>it's tough. I can't imagine and I can't imagine what

1:08:44.080 --> 1:08:46.600
<v Speaker 4>mom goes through so like to see the opportunity for

1:08:46.640 --> 1:08:48.760
<v Speaker 4>that for her. I was stoked. I was I was

1:08:48.800 --> 1:08:49.280
<v Speaker 4>really happy.

1:08:49.400 --> 1:08:50.519
<v Speaker 3>Is she bag out? Is she dating?

1:08:50.640 --> 1:08:50.760
<v Speaker 2>Now?

1:08:51.080 --> 1:08:54.559
<v Speaker 4>She is? She is out there, Yeah, she's she is dating.

1:08:54.640 --> 1:08:56.080
<v Speaker 3>So she on like dating apps.

1:08:56.400 --> 1:08:58.559
<v Speaker 4>I don't think she knows how to use any apps.

1:08:59.360 --> 1:09:02.599
<v Speaker 3>How does she meet people that she goes on? Reality shows?

1:09:02.680 --> 1:09:02.840
<v Speaker 4>Yes?

1:09:02.920 --> 1:09:05.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, there's a.

1:09:05.640 --> 1:09:07.759
<v Speaker 4>Well she This is gonna sound so silly.

1:09:08.360 --> 1:09:10.760
<v Speaker 3>I know how you preface so much so many of

1:09:10.800 --> 1:09:11.439
<v Speaker 3>your stories.

1:09:11.720 --> 1:09:13.720
<v Speaker 4>Well, I about to say it. I'm just like what

1:09:13.760 --> 1:09:16.439
<v Speaker 4>I was going to say is that like there's oh

1:09:16.479 --> 1:09:20.800
<v Speaker 4>my gosh, there's a pickleball club that she's in. Now cool,

1:09:21.000 --> 1:09:23.479
<v Speaker 4>So like there's like, you know, you do stuff like that.

1:09:24.080 --> 1:09:26.800
<v Speaker 4>And like I'm not saying pickleballs for like retirees, but

1:09:27.080 --> 1:09:29.800
<v Speaker 4>I love pickleball. But yeah, she does stuff like that.

1:09:29.840 --> 1:09:35.280
<v Speaker 4>There's like there's she goes to shows, comedy, wine nights,

1:09:35.320 --> 1:09:38.400
<v Speaker 4>like just events where you can meet people and not

1:09:38.640 --> 1:09:40.960
<v Speaker 4>all of them are singles, but like you know, if

1:09:41.000 --> 1:09:43.599
<v Speaker 4>someone meets my mom and they know she's single, they're like, oh,

1:09:43.840 --> 1:09:47.320
<v Speaker 4>like I know blonde who uh you know, they try

1:09:47.360 --> 1:09:49.200
<v Speaker 4>to like love, they try to do matchmakers. So I'm

1:09:49.240 --> 1:09:52.080
<v Speaker 4>like the I tell my mom, she's so comfortable in

1:09:52.120 --> 1:09:55.680
<v Speaker 4>her in her home, like and her routine. But the

1:09:55.680 --> 1:09:58.920
<v Speaker 4>more you put yourself out there, I mean you can't.

1:09:59.080 --> 1:10:01.080
<v Speaker 4>Opportunity just doesn't come to you. Like you've got to

1:10:01.240 --> 1:10:04.160
<v Speaker 4>present yourself so that things can come your way. So

1:10:04.200 --> 1:10:05.519
<v Speaker 4>the more she goes out there.

1:10:05.439 --> 1:10:09.320
<v Speaker 1>And you knew what happened on the show before everybody,

1:10:08.840 --> 1:10:11.160
<v Speaker 1>So what did you think when you did?

1:10:11.160 --> 1:10:11.240
<v Speaker 2>You?

1:10:11.400 --> 1:10:12.280
<v Speaker 3>I assume you watched it.

1:10:12.400 --> 1:10:13.080
<v Speaker 4>No, I didn't watch.

1:10:13.080 --> 1:10:14.599
<v Speaker 3>You didn't really you didn't watch?

1:10:14.760 --> 1:10:16.320
<v Speaker 4>I mean I was bummed, Like I knew it was

1:10:16.320 --> 1:10:19.800
<v Speaker 4>gonna happen, so like, yeah, I was sad. She called

1:10:19.840 --> 1:10:23.599
<v Speaker 4>me and she was really upset. And but I mean

1:10:23.720 --> 1:10:26.479
<v Speaker 4>it's you know, it's it's that's the game, like it's

1:10:26.479 --> 1:10:29.240
<v Speaker 4>a it wasn't you know, the Patty James Show. It

1:10:29.400 --> 1:10:31.320
<v Speaker 4>was you know, it's the Bat, it's the Golden Bachelor.

1:10:31.360 --> 1:10:33.720
<v Speaker 4>So if it wasn't who she ended up with, it

1:10:33.720 --> 1:10:34.960
<v Speaker 4>wasn't who she was supposed to be with.

1:10:35.120 --> 1:10:36.000
<v Speaker 3>Did she watch it?

1:10:36.560 --> 1:10:40.600
<v Speaker 4>She freaking watched every episode?

1:10:40.520 --> 1:10:48.120
<v Speaker 3>YEA, loved it. Did she like the outcome? Yeah?

1:10:48.200 --> 1:10:51.320
<v Speaker 4>I mean I think that the outcome was right, But

1:10:51.600 --> 1:10:53.920
<v Speaker 4>I think that she would have liked a little bit

1:10:53.920 --> 1:10:55.760
<v Speaker 4>more time to get to that. Yeah, you know what

1:10:55.800 --> 1:10:58.320
<v Speaker 4>I mean, Like, I think that ultimately it wasn't the

1:10:58.320 --> 1:11:00.439
<v Speaker 4>person she was supposed to be with, But if there

1:11:00.479 --> 1:11:02.519
<v Speaker 4>was time to explore that relationship, I think she would

1:11:02.520 --> 1:11:05.439
<v Speaker 4>have had a little bit more of like a like anybody.

1:11:05.439 --> 1:11:06.640
<v Speaker 4>I don't think anybody wants to go home in the

1:11:06.640 --> 1:11:07.040
<v Speaker 4>first night.

1:11:07.160 --> 1:11:09.599
<v Speaker 1>No, she didn't roll like Hassan. She needs more seven

1:11:09.640 --> 1:11:13.040
<v Speaker 1>hours to figure it out. What would you say is

1:11:13.080 --> 1:11:17.400
<v Speaker 1>the current health of the Bachelor Bachelor at franchise? Given that,

1:11:17.479 --> 1:11:19.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean they were controversies or ratings have been up

1:11:19.840 --> 1:11:22.240
<v Speaker 1>and down, but now the new season seems like the

1:11:22.560 --> 1:11:25.200
<v Speaker 1>ratings are solid. The Golden Bachelor was huge. Yeah, but

1:11:25.240 --> 1:11:27.680
<v Speaker 1>what do you think the health of the franchise is

1:11:27.760 --> 1:11:28.080
<v Speaker 1>right now?

1:11:28.360 --> 1:11:30.680
<v Speaker 4>I just think that this has nothing to do with

1:11:30.840 --> 1:11:34.759
<v Speaker 4>The Bachelor or the Golden Bachelor, the Bachelor or Bachelor

1:11:34.800 --> 1:11:38.479
<v Speaker 4>in Paradise. There's just so much competition. It's like asking,

1:11:38.600 --> 1:11:40.559
<v Speaker 4>like what do I think about Red Bull. It's like,

1:11:40.600 --> 1:11:43.559
<v Speaker 4>you know, they've got Celsius, They've got freaking like, there's

1:11:43.640 --> 1:11:47.240
<v Speaker 4>so many it's saturated, Like you got Love Island. Love

1:11:47.320 --> 1:11:49.479
<v Speaker 4>is blind too hot to handle? Like there's a million

1:11:49.520 --> 1:11:51.599
<v Speaker 4>places that you can go to get that fix. Whereas

1:11:51.600 --> 1:11:55.240
<v Speaker 4>back in the day the Bachelor and you know, the

1:11:55.320 --> 1:11:56.479
<v Speaker 4>offsets of it were.

1:11:56.360 --> 1:11:58.840
<v Speaker 1>It but for the lack of diversity that they try

1:11:58.880 --> 1:12:01.439
<v Speaker 1>to now improve, or I guess they got the whole

1:12:01.479 --> 1:12:05.080
<v Speaker 1>situation worked out now for diversifying the contestants, for for

1:12:05.200 --> 1:12:07.400
<v Speaker 1>all the changes, I guess the tweaks they tried to make.

1:12:07.479 --> 1:12:10.680
<v Speaker 4>So just looking at the Bachelor, not looking at the pool.

1:12:10.439 --> 1:12:12.679
<v Speaker 1>Of well, I don't even know about Bachelor in Paradise,

1:12:12.720 --> 1:12:15.640
<v Speaker 1>but I guess I'm just about Bachelor and Bachelorette the.

1:12:17.280 --> 1:12:20.200
<v Speaker 3>Favorite. We'll get on that today.

1:12:20.880 --> 1:12:22.720
<v Speaker 1>But you know, for the health and for what it

1:12:22.800 --> 1:12:26.679
<v Speaker 1>went through taking some public hits, if you will.

1:12:26.000 --> 1:12:26.639
<v Speaker 3>Over the years.

1:12:26.760 --> 1:12:29.439
<v Speaker 4>I think that people like to romanticize things. I think

1:12:29.439 --> 1:12:33.679
<v Speaker 4>people romanticize, you know, the Yankees when by Ruth Paid

1:12:33.720 --> 1:12:36.400
<v Speaker 4>played for him. I think that people romanticize the Bulls

1:12:36.400 --> 1:12:39.640
<v Speaker 4>when Michael Jordan played for him. But the reality is,

1:12:40.439 --> 1:12:44.960
<v Speaker 4>you know, things change, people change, and your options change.

1:12:45.360 --> 1:12:49.479
<v Speaker 4>So I think that people romanticize the time where they

1:12:49.640 --> 1:12:52.200
<v Speaker 4>got a certain they felt a certain feeling from watching

1:12:52.280 --> 1:12:57.760
<v Speaker 4>the show that you know, you can get that so

1:12:57.800 --> 1:13:00.360
<v Speaker 4>many different places now, like things change, and like as

1:13:00.400 --> 1:13:05.880
<v Speaker 4>things change, your perspective has to change. So I think

1:13:05.920 --> 1:13:08.240
<v Speaker 4>that it's fine. Like I I like as as someone

1:13:08.280 --> 1:13:10.599
<v Speaker 4>who like is a creative and like tries to think

1:13:10.640 --> 1:13:15.479
<v Speaker 4>of you know, fun and enticing ways to to showcase

1:13:15.479 --> 1:13:19.880
<v Speaker 4>food or whatever. Like, I think that, like there's nothing

1:13:19.880 --> 1:13:21.720
<v Speaker 4>that I think could spice it up anymore than there.

1:13:21.760 --> 1:13:23.360
<v Speaker 4>I think they're doing a great job. Like, I think

1:13:23.400 --> 1:13:26.720
<v Speaker 4>it just stinks that, like nowadays, they have competition with

1:13:26.760 --> 1:13:31.960
<v Speaker 4>all these streaming services and all these like other shows

1:13:31.960 --> 1:13:35.000
<v Speaker 4>that offer, you know, whatever you want.

1:13:35.040 --> 1:13:37.200
<v Speaker 3>Would you ever host it or want to host it?

1:13:37.240 --> 1:13:43.599
<v Speaker 4>Even whatever? I want to host The Bachelor, I wouldn't.

1:13:43.600 --> 1:13:45.720
<v Speaker 4>I don't think i'd want to host The Bachelor. I

1:13:45.920 --> 1:13:50.000
<v Speaker 4>think that's an amazing opportunity. I would love to host

1:13:50.080 --> 1:13:54.280
<v Speaker 4>something like I love interacting with people and having conversations.

1:13:54.320 --> 1:13:55.120
<v Speaker 3>Why not The Bachelor?

1:13:55.160 --> 1:13:59.720
<v Speaker 4>Though? The Bachelor, I don't know.

1:13:59.840 --> 1:14:07.600
<v Speaker 3>I we love the pauses. Mad James is like, I

1:14:07.600 --> 1:14:08.400
<v Speaker 3>cannot tell a lot.

1:14:08.720 --> 1:14:10.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm just I have to.

1:14:10.080 --> 1:14:13.200
<v Speaker 3>Be honest and figure out how to best land this well.

1:14:14.280 --> 1:14:16.680
<v Speaker 4>I want to be honest. I'm I just I just

1:14:16.760 --> 1:14:19.960
<v Speaker 4>don't see it like what I want to host something

1:14:20.000 --> 1:14:24.559
<v Speaker 4>absolutely family feud, like a eating contest, but like like

1:14:24.600 --> 1:14:27.320
<v Speaker 4>there's something, there's a there's a connotation that comes with

1:14:27.439 --> 1:14:32.200
<v Speaker 4>hosting that, and you put yourself in that, you put

1:14:32.200 --> 1:14:35.200
<v Speaker 4>yourself back in that atmosphere. And that's the thing I

1:14:35.240 --> 1:14:36.760
<v Speaker 4>was trying to say that. That was one of the

1:14:36.800 --> 1:14:38.760
<v Speaker 4>things I was trying to avoid is being in a

1:14:38.800 --> 1:14:42.200
<v Speaker 4>space that you know is kind of toxic. And I

1:14:42.280 --> 1:14:45.320
<v Speaker 4>think that if you roll around in that space that

1:14:45.560 --> 1:14:50.240
<v Speaker 4>you know, you you open yourself up to that because

1:14:50.240 --> 1:14:53.080
<v Speaker 4>you have to be you have to have an opinion

1:14:53.120 --> 1:14:55.200
<v Speaker 4>on things, and like it just.

1:14:56.640 --> 1:14:58.360
<v Speaker 3>When you roll around in the mud, you get dirty.

1:14:58.520 --> 1:15:00.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah I don't, No, I I.

1:15:02.840 --> 1:15:04.200
<v Speaker 3>Why is that so funny?

1:15:04.800 --> 1:15:06.720
<v Speaker 1>Tell you all the time. You're the funniest person I know,

1:15:07.479 --> 1:15:09.000
<v Speaker 1>you really are.

1:15:09.439 --> 1:15:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh, what what's next for you? We I love following

1:15:12.000 --> 1:15:14.880
<v Speaker 2>your adventures. You're a world traveler and you certainly like

1:15:14.920 --> 1:15:16.880
<v Speaker 2>to eat. What's next for you?

1:15:20.720 --> 1:15:23.599
<v Speaker 4>Where do I start? I've I love running. It's just

1:15:23.680 --> 1:15:27.519
<v Speaker 4>been like my peace place. Uh and so yeah, I'm

1:15:27.520 --> 1:15:29.120
<v Speaker 4>gonna try to run the London. Well, I'm going to

1:15:29.160 --> 1:15:29.679
<v Speaker 4>run the London.

1:15:29.680 --> 1:15:32.439
<v Speaker 3>May I think you're gonna Yeah, You're gonna probably succeed at.

1:15:32.320 --> 1:15:35.200
<v Speaker 4>That I'm gonna run the London Marathon. I'm gonna try

1:15:35.240 --> 1:15:37.320
<v Speaker 4>to get Rachel into a race. We're gonna get her

1:15:37.320 --> 1:15:41.639
<v Speaker 4>in a five k Yeah, down in Disney, Disney five k.

1:15:42.080 --> 1:15:44.479
<v Speaker 4>It's a nice she loves Disney, so like any way

1:15:44.520 --> 1:15:47.800
<v Speaker 4>to like entice her into you know, not being mad

1:15:47.800 --> 1:15:50.400
<v Speaker 4>about me buying so many running shoes, Like, we figure

1:15:50.400 --> 1:15:50.920
<v Speaker 4>out a way that.

1:15:50.880 --> 1:15:52.280
<v Speaker 1>We would love to run with you down at that

1:15:52.320 --> 1:15:54.439
<v Speaker 1>five k. I don't think we're allowed on the parks

1:15:54.560 --> 1:15:58.320
<v Speaker 1>crowns anymore. I don't think we'll check, well, right last

1:15:58.320 --> 1:16:00.320
<v Speaker 1>week check if we weren't. But we'll pick you in

1:16:00.360 --> 1:16:02.040
<v Speaker 1>some cool Disney costume we can all.

1:16:02.080 --> 1:16:07.160
<v Speaker 4>I'll be frozened, missing crediblej can throw a beard?

1:16:08.520 --> 1:16:09.880
<v Speaker 3>Is there another one? That's the other one?

1:16:09.880 --> 1:16:14.360
<v Speaker 4>I could be this is hilarious, you could be this

1:16:14.439 --> 1:16:19.280
<v Speaker 4>is the princess and the frog. What's the bad guy's name? Nice?

1:16:19.800 --> 1:16:20.800
<v Speaker 3>Let's not finish this.

1:16:21.520 --> 1:16:21.920
<v Speaker 1>That's not.

1:16:24.000 --> 1:16:28.160
<v Speaker 5>He's a good looking brother, dude, I got no problem

1:16:28.280 --> 1:16:30.559
<v Speaker 5>just trying to label me even as a cartoon villain,

1:16:31.640 --> 1:16:36.280
<v Speaker 5>stale man, many of us you know what you know

1:16:36.320 --> 1:16:39.639
<v Speaker 5>what you take proa.

1:16:41.479 --> 1:16:43.519
<v Speaker 3>Wait, London marathon? What marathon? Will that be for you.

1:16:43.560 --> 1:16:44.280
<v Speaker 2>How many of you run?

1:16:45.040 --> 1:16:49.760
<v Speaker 4>That'll be London Marathon will be like number six. But

1:16:49.960 --> 1:16:52.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm trying to get I'm gonna do all the major

1:16:53.080 --> 1:16:53.400
<v Speaker 4>Oh I.

1:16:53.360 --> 1:16:54.240
<v Speaker 3>Wanted to do that too.

1:16:54.840 --> 1:16:55.840
<v Speaker 4>We can still do all right?

1:16:55.920 --> 1:16:57.519
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, what have you done? Major wise?

1:16:57.920 --> 1:17:02.559
<v Speaker 4>Boston, Chicago, New York? But I want to hit sub

1:17:02.640 --> 1:17:04.800
<v Speaker 4>three and all of them, so like, oh, yeah, I

1:17:04.840 --> 1:17:05.559
<v Speaker 4>gotta go for it.

1:17:05.840 --> 1:17:07.880
<v Speaker 2>I gotta go for Boston is the one that scares me.

1:17:07.880 --> 1:17:09.280
<v Speaker 2>That's the one I'm going to leave till the end.

1:17:09.320 --> 1:17:11.439
<v Speaker 2>I've done Chicago, New York, Berlin.

1:17:11.560 --> 1:17:14.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I've done the flat one yeah, and then the home.

1:17:14.840 --> 1:17:16.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm so afraid of Boston.

1:17:16.240 --> 1:17:18.200
<v Speaker 4>You just trained the hills and you'll be fine. Just

1:17:18.240 --> 1:17:19.439
<v Speaker 4>do the lap in Central Park.

1:17:19.240 --> 1:17:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Point you get London. What do you got so Tokyo

1:17:21.000 --> 1:17:23.280
<v Speaker 1>and what's have Tokyo? Berlin, Berlin in London.

1:17:24.000 --> 1:17:26.840
<v Speaker 4>But I gotta do Chicago, Boston and New York again

1:17:26.920 --> 1:17:28.640
<v Speaker 4>because I have to get under three. You don't have to,

1:17:28.760 --> 1:17:29.240
<v Speaker 4>but I need to.

1:17:29.520 --> 1:17:30.720
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, you want to?

1:17:30.800 --> 1:17:33.680
<v Speaker 4>I'm yeah. But then I've been doing a lot of

1:17:33.720 --> 1:17:36.040
<v Speaker 4>other fun stuff too. I I got to host a

1:17:36.080 --> 1:17:37.680
<v Speaker 4>bunch of different things this year, and that was a

1:17:37.680 --> 1:17:39.759
<v Speaker 4>lot of fun, Just like getting to pick other people's

1:17:39.760 --> 1:17:42.320
<v Speaker 4>brain and sit across from people that I respect and

1:17:43.400 --> 1:17:48.040
<v Speaker 4>have important conversations and get people to think about an

1:17:48.040 --> 1:17:52.760
<v Speaker 4>important topic differently than how they came into it. So, yeah,

1:17:52.800 --> 1:17:53.240
<v Speaker 4>that's fun.

1:17:54.000 --> 1:17:55.280
<v Speaker 3>What here's my favorite thing.

1:17:55.360 --> 1:17:58.080
<v Speaker 2>We've joked about this, but when you're in broadcasting, usually

1:17:58.360 --> 1:18:00.559
<v Speaker 2>one of the questions that producers have you act, oh God,

1:18:00.760 --> 1:18:04.880
<v Speaker 2>somebody here, is there anything that we didn't ask you

1:18:05.760 --> 1:18:08.320
<v Speaker 2>that you'd like to let the listeners know?

1:18:09.000 --> 1:18:14.479
<v Speaker 4>Oh? Yeah, that's great. I mean, honestly, all I'd have

1:18:15.040 --> 1:18:17.120
<v Speaker 4>you already. We tackled this already. But the thing that

1:18:17.120 --> 1:18:19.439
<v Speaker 4>I would want to leave people with is just to

1:18:19.479 --> 1:18:22.519
<v Speaker 4>have grace on themselves and on others, because life is

1:18:22.560 --> 1:18:26.639
<v Speaker 4>hard and people are good, and we make mistakes, and

1:18:27.560 --> 1:18:31.280
<v Speaker 4>if you are perfect, then this doesn't apply to you.

1:18:32.520 --> 1:18:32.760
<v Speaker 3>Ha ha.

1:18:35.160 --> 1:18:38.280
<v Speaker 1>Isn't it something we are We are so quick to

1:18:38.400 --> 1:18:41.519
<v Speaker 1>judge everybody else by their worst mistakes, and we judge

1:18:41.520 --> 1:18:45.720
<v Speaker 1>ourselves by our best intentions. And we've learned this more

1:18:45.760 --> 1:18:48.400
<v Speaker 1>and more over the past year, and it's funny, and

1:18:48.439 --> 1:18:50.639
<v Speaker 1>mattaw I have said it to you privately tons of times,

1:18:50.680 --> 1:18:52.320
<v Speaker 1>and this is an opportunity I think it might be

1:18:52.320 --> 1:18:53.800
<v Speaker 1>the first opportunity I've had to say it to you

1:18:53.840 --> 1:18:56.400
<v Speaker 1>in a public format. But it meant everything to me.

1:18:56.880 --> 1:18:58.920
<v Speaker 1>You meant everything to me in the worst stretch of

1:18:58.960 --> 1:19:05.679
<v Speaker 1>my personal life professional life, right even to get that message,

1:19:05.720 --> 1:19:08.120
<v Speaker 1>to get even when I didn't respond to you, to

1:19:08.160 --> 1:19:11.800
<v Speaker 1>get a follow up, to have you just say how

1:19:11.840 --> 1:19:13.479
<v Speaker 1>you doing or I'm here?

1:19:13.800 --> 1:19:14.200
<v Speaker 3>You didn't.

1:19:14.240 --> 1:19:15.600
<v Speaker 1>You didn't say, hey, what do you need? You know,

1:19:15.640 --> 1:19:17.080
<v Speaker 1>what can I bring you? I want to do this.

1:19:17.280 --> 1:19:20.160
<v Speaker 1>You didn't even give me some Bible quote right, just

1:19:20.439 --> 1:19:24.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm here. That meant everything to me at that time.

1:19:24.520 --> 1:19:26.920
<v Speaker 1>And I know you could relate to a lot of

1:19:26.920 --> 1:19:28.960
<v Speaker 1>what was going on with me and was going on

1:19:29.040 --> 1:19:32.720
<v Speaker 1>with Robes at the time. Brother, it meant everything. So

1:19:32.840 --> 1:19:37.040
<v Speaker 1>I encourage you and anybody else listening, man, pick up

1:19:37.040 --> 1:19:40.680
<v Speaker 1>your phone right this moment and check on somebody just

1:19:40.720 --> 1:19:43.400
<v Speaker 1>to stay hi, who's going through? But brother, it meant

1:19:43.920 --> 1:19:45.640
<v Speaker 1>everything to me and one of the worst parts of

1:19:45.640 --> 1:19:47.439
<v Speaker 1>my life that you, well I wasn't that close to

1:19:47.520 --> 1:19:50.120
<v Speaker 1>even at the time. I don't, yeah, but to be

1:19:50.200 --> 1:19:52.720
<v Speaker 1>there and show up for me was everything. So this

1:19:52.800 --> 1:19:56.240
<v Speaker 1>is love you, brother, and I'm always rooting for you

1:19:56.280 --> 1:19:57.960
<v Speaker 1>and rooting for Rachel and whatever comes.

1:19:58.000 --> 1:20:00.040
<v Speaker 3>Man, but you've it meant a.

1:20:00.479 --> 1:20:02.320
<v Speaker 4>I love you too, bro. I appreciate you having me.

1:20:02.560 --> 1:20:03.880
<v Speaker 4>Thank you, Amy, thank you.

1:20:04.840 --> 1:20:06.559
<v Speaker 3>Oh you have that look on your face.

1:20:07.400 --> 1:20:09.000
<v Speaker 2>Well you know I was gonna even say, like, thank

1:20:09.040 --> 1:20:12.680
<v Speaker 2>you just as TJ's girlfriend, which I know you love

1:20:12.720 --> 1:20:15.479
<v Speaker 2>that word, but thank you for being there for him

1:20:15.800 --> 1:20:18.479
<v Speaker 2>because I could be there for him obviously as his girlfriend,

1:20:18.479 --> 1:20:21.040
<v Speaker 2>but to have the support he needed from other people

1:20:21.080 --> 1:20:23.559
<v Speaker 2>and especially from someone like you, was everything. Like it

1:20:23.640 --> 1:20:27.120
<v Speaker 2>really did make a huge difference. And yeah, you showed

1:20:27.200 --> 1:20:28.120
<v Speaker 2>up at my birthday party.

1:20:28.200 --> 1:20:30.280
<v Speaker 4>I was going to say it's I was going to

1:20:30.320 --> 1:20:33.800
<v Speaker 4>say that like it takes it's it's both ways though,

1:20:33.920 --> 1:20:36.679
<v Speaker 4>because like TJ could have said, like, man, forget this guy,

1:20:37.120 --> 1:20:39.639
<v Speaker 4>because like you know, in that moment, you don't want

1:20:39.640 --> 1:20:41.240
<v Speaker 4>to talk to anybody, But you guys invited me in,

1:20:41.400 --> 1:20:43.840
<v Speaker 4>and I appreciate you because I've gotten to see I've

1:20:43.840 --> 1:20:45.600
<v Speaker 4>gotten to experience your life and how rich it is.

1:20:45.720 --> 1:20:48.559
<v Speaker 4>So it's been it's been amazing. Like anytime I get

1:20:48.560 --> 1:20:52.160
<v Speaker 4>invited over to y'all's apartment, I will accept that invitation

1:20:52.240 --> 1:20:54.800
<v Speaker 4>with open arms because I'm going to be around friends

1:20:54.800 --> 1:20:55.560
<v Speaker 4>and family.

1:20:55.320 --> 1:20:58.040
<v Speaker 3>Still have that bottle of tequila.

1:20:58.080 --> 1:21:00.920
<v Speaker 1>You still have that cover from the Mary. You showed up.

1:21:00.920 --> 1:21:02.479
<v Speaker 1>You showed up after the marathon.

1:21:03.280 --> 1:21:05.320
<v Speaker 4>I came. I came after the marathon in my cape.

1:21:05.640 --> 1:21:08.559
<v Speaker 1>Yeah mind you. This was like seven hours after the race.

1:21:08.600 --> 1:21:11.960
<v Speaker 1>He still ain't been in the shower. He's show up.

1:21:12.439 --> 1:21:16.479
<v Speaker 4>You know when when you run the marathon. I if

1:21:16.520 --> 1:21:18.960
<v Speaker 4>you run the marathon, I'll wear that metal for a week.

1:21:20.400 --> 1:21:21.519
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, I ran the marathon.

1:21:21.720 --> 1:21:22.520
<v Speaker 3>You're a superhero.

1:21:22.680 --> 1:21:25.559
<v Speaker 4>Oh this Cape? Oh yeah, I just ran the marathon.

1:21:27.200 --> 1:21:28.000
<v Speaker 3>Doesn't it feel good?

1:21:28.000 --> 1:21:28.200
<v Speaker 4>Though?

1:21:28.240 --> 1:21:29.960
<v Speaker 2>Afterwards you're walking through the streets of New York and

1:21:30.000 --> 1:21:32.600
<v Speaker 2>everyone's like congratulations, and you're like, hell yeah, thank you

1:21:32.680 --> 1:21:33.800
<v Speaker 2>very much because I earned this.

1:21:33.960 --> 1:21:36.920
<v Speaker 4>It's the best Rachel. Rachel was ready to just like

1:21:38.400 --> 1:21:40.840
<v Speaker 4>light that Cape on fire just because anybody, no one

1:21:40.880 --> 1:21:42.920
<v Speaker 4>was even saying it that walk like, oh me ran

1:21:42.960 --> 1:21:46.000
<v Speaker 4>the marathon, thank you. I was playing into it at

1:21:46.000 --> 1:21:46.400
<v Speaker 4>that point.

1:21:47.920 --> 1:21:50.840
<v Speaker 1>Man. We are We absolutely will have you back on.

1:21:51.160 --> 1:21:53.040
<v Speaker 1>We'll get We'll get Rachel in here at some point.

1:21:53.080 --> 1:21:53.599
<v Speaker 4>You gotta get her.

1:21:53.640 --> 1:21:55.880
<v Speaker 1>I So we'll get her in here minus you, and

1:21:56.120 --> 1:21:58.400
<v Speaker 1>we'll bring y'all together and see how the stories match

1:21:58.520 --> 1:21:59.719
<v Speaker 1>up at some point.

1:22:00.240 --> 1:22:03.720
<v Speaker 4>Dang, that would be the truth test if I was

1:22:03.760 --> 1:22:04.439
<v Speaker 4>fibbing or not.

1:22:05.040 --> 1:22:07.880
<v Speaker 1>Brother, appreciate everything, and folks, you know where to find Matt,

1:22:07.920 --> 1:22:09.360
<v Speaker 1>you know where to find Robot, you know where to

1:22:09.360 --> 1:22:11.880
<v Speaker 1>find me. We're all on TikTok all on Instagram. You

1:22:11.920 --> 1:22:14.400
<v Speaker 1>can find the show at Amy and TJ podcast. But

1:22:14.840 --> 1:22:17.479
<v Speaker 1>like you said, spread some love, check all those you love,

1:22:17.920 --> 1:22:19.200
<v Speaker 1>and we'll see you back here next time.