WEBVTT - Terrible Roommates: featuring Chelsea's Ex-Roommate Colleen Siragusa 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:06.400 Oh hello everybody. Hi, Hi Katherine, Hi, how are you Chelsea? Well, 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:08.920 I'm we're gonna get started right away today with our 0:00:09.080 --> 0:00:11.680 very special guests because she has a lot to say, 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:13.880 she has a lot on her mind. This has been 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:18.040 a very very long time in the making. She has 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.000 had a long time to reflect on our relationship. This 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:23.920 is a non traditional guest. I'm going to introduce her 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:26.600 with the intro that she gave me, which is she 0:00:26.800 --> 0:00:30.240 is a wife, a mother of two, and a survivor 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:37.159 of living with Chelsea Handler. Her name is Colleen Saragosa 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:41.680 and she was my roommate in Brentwood on Barrington six 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:45.840 or five South Barrington. Whoa yep, yea for I don't 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:48.240 know how many years do we live together. We lived 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:51.600 together for three okay, three years we lived together. I 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:55.440 was in my early mid twenties. I was twenty three 0:00:56.440 --> 0:01:00.360 to twenty six, so you're a little younger than so 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:02.720 I must have been. Well, maybe I was like nineteen 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.280 to twenty one. In my book I wrote that you 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.199 were a twenty eight year old virgin? Was that a lie? 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:13.640 Let's just jump right in. Okay, Hi to Colleen Saragosa. 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:19.679 Hi college, Oh my god, Colleen and I were texting 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:21.399 the other day. I said, you know, it would be funny. 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:23.120 You should come on my podcast and you can tell 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:24.840 all the horror stories about what it was like to 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:27.839 live with me. And She's like, I would love nothing more. 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:31.199 I'm ready, I'm ready. I'm finally ready. I've had twenty 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:33.920 years to digest what it was like to be attached 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:36.800 to you for three years and she's just coming out 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:40.080 of the fog and wait. So but back off to 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:42.160 the most recent time I ran into you, which was 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.800 like four or five years ago. Four years ago, okay, 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:47.559 four years ago. I was in Brentwood, at the top 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:50.120 of Brentwood. You were in Starbucks and I was walking 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:52.520 my little girl, she was what two at the time 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:55.000 I was walking and we haven't seen each other. We 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:58.000 mind you. I'll get into the story because I'm sure 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:00.920 everyone wants to know the story of Chelsea and how 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:04.200 I survived living with her, because it wasn't an easy feat. 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:07.320 I needed tons of therapy after that. But anyway, we 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:10.360 hadn't seen each other in seventeen years. I harbored a 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:15.000 lot of bad feelings towards her. I'm also known as 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:19.519 dumb Dumb dumb dumb in my book My Horizontal Life, Yes, 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:21.880 my Horizontal Life. I wrote a book and I talked 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:23.919 about someone I named her dumb dumb and that was 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:28.600 named after I can laugh about it now, I can. 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.320 I can. I I was upset for so many years 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:34.000 and I actually asked a mutual friend of ours and 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:37.280 I went to her in tears and I said, in 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:39.400 my dumb dumb I need to know, and she said yes, 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:43.280 and I was just like wow, Wow, I was so mad. 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:45.760 I was so mad, and it's taken a lot of 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:49.920 time and and I'm a different person now. And anyway, 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:53.119 fast forward to a few years ago. I ran into 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:55.760 her at Starbucks and I walked past her and I'm like, oh, 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:59.040 there's Chelsea. Do I stop? Do I stop and say anything? 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:01.000 And I'm like, no, don't. So I walked past her, 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:02.480 and then on the way back, I was like, you 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:04.880 know what I'm gonna I'm gonna stop. And I stopped 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.440 and I said hi, and she stood up and she 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:15.800 hugged me hm and and she had tears in her eyes. Sorry, 0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:18.720 I'm emotional all the time, all the time. It's very 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:23.320 welcome here, and it was it was why it was 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:26.240 so hard to live together because she's always emotional and 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:30.480 I have no emotion. And she made me cry all 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:33.200 the time. All the time. I was the butt of 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.800 every joke. Yes, so anyway, I she hugged me and 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:38.760 she said, can you sit down for a second. I 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.680 said sure, So we sat down and and um, I said, 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.840 am I dumb? Dumb? And she said yes you are? 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:47.520 Are you pissed? And I was like, I've been pissed 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:51.200 for a really long time, but you know I'm over it. 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:53.880 I'm over it now. And um, she said, I was 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.440 a real bitch to you, wasn't I? And I said, yes, 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:01.520 you were, and she said I'm sorry. And that was 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:04.440 the first time I was like, wow, I think Chelsea 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:09.200 has changed. I think Chelsea has gotten a lot of therapy. 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:14.640 And I really felt that she was sorry for the 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:17.880 hell that she put me through for those three years 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:20.720 because it was it was. Man. I want to meet 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:24.560 Joe Koy. I want to shake his hands, because the 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.600 man I can put up with her bullshit deserves a 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:31.200 freaking metal. Let me just say, first of all, he's adorable, 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:35.720 he's funny. The two of you together are on fire, 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:40.159 and I I am so happy for you. Because you 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:45.200 have found what is most important in this world, and um, 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.520 and it is. I mean, I'm married, I have a family. 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.560 It's totally changed who I am and made me see 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:55.040 what's important in life. And um, yeah, we have lots 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:57.840 of stories to share. When we got together, so we 0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:01.080 waited tables together at a couple of places, at Judy's, 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:05.720 Daly and on muscowna what establishment that I was fired 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:08.600 from when we found out he was basically stealing from us. 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.520 Remember we were getting paid, we were getting paid under 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:14.200 the table. And then on top of that, I called 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:16.239 and I reported him so that he had to legally 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.640 pay us, but he would pay us and make us 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.400 reimburse him for the payment that he would give us 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.200 because he thought we were making too much money at 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:26.520 a restaurants. The worst part is is that he ended 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:29.320 up thinking we were stealing from him, so he put 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:33.720 cameras up all around the restaurant and he was videotaping us. 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:36.520 And I just remember Chelsea one day just she was 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:38.479 so pissed that the cameras were up and she just 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:43.039 went flipping the birds of the camera and she just left. 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:46.520 That was it. So we ended up moving because I 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:50.039 ended up leaving too, and I found a place in 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:52.839 the Palisades, Pacific Palisades, not a place to live. We 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.400 lived in brent but she found a job in the 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:57.680 Pacific Palisades. And then you brought me to that judge. 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:00.080 By the way, I lived in Brentwood for years, is 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:03.920 in that apartment. My husband had to drag me out 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:07.120 because I love that apartment so much, the same apartment 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:09.120 that she and I, Colleen and I lived in when 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:11.719 I we were in our early twenties. I didn't realize 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:13.880 you were twenty three through six, so I must have 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:18.320 been yeah, twenty to twenty three because we were super young, 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.679 young and I was younger than you. Okay, so anyway, 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:24.320 we we So then we got a job in the Palisades. 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:26.520 We worked at that together. So when we ran into 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:29.000 each other four years ago, I was like, what are 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:31.200 you doing here? And she's like, I still live in 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.800 the apartment that we lived and I go, what if 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:36.159 I hadn't met my husband, I would be there till 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:40.080 I die because I loved that apartment so much. I 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.120 mean it is it was like Melrose Place to me. 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.000 I I it was awesome. And she's like, my daughter 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:49.440 lives in your room. I'm like, shut the fuck up. 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:52.040 She's like, yes, my daughter lives in her room in 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.279 your room, and my husband and I still live in 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.200 that apartment. I could not wrap my head around that. 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:59.680 I'm like, I cannot believe you're still there. I know 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:01.720 it was awesome. I'm glad that you moved out, though, 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:04.320 because that was you know, that is very you to 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.040 stick with something for years. Well, that's the thing I do. 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.560 I get very comfortable. And I mean I waited tables 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:12.040 at the same place in the Palisades for fifteen years. 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:14.080 I mean I loved it. I mean it was a 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:17.400 great job. I mean I was a struggling actress, but 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:20.560 I that's what I did for my living. I waited tables. 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:22.440 But it was more than just that. It was I 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:25.760 met so many people there that just made my life 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:27.960 so happy, and it was it was awesome. She, on 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:31.480 the other hand, is the worst waitress of all time, 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:34.520 of all time, and I got her the job there, 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:37.680 and so she started working there. But she would, I 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:39.720 mean her and I would be the only waitresses there, 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:41.720 and she would go up to people. This is I'm 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:44.239 going to tell a story, a true story. Someone ordered 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:46.840 something they called her over they were they had a 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:49.080 problem with it, they didn't like and she goes, too 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:52.560 fucking bad, you ordered it, eat it, and walked away. 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:56.600 And I was like, oh my god, so I'm the 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:59.640 one that had to go, and you know, I'm so sorry. 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:03.000 And Coleen was like the best waitress of all time, 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:06.000 Like she was in a fucking great mood. Every customer 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:08.520 wanted to sit in her section. Everyone who come in 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:10.520 and would see her, they'd be like, oh my god, Calle, 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:13.600 it's here. I'd be like, great, you fucking take everybody. 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:16.960 They all fucking love you. I'll just run the food out, 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:19.640 but I have to tell you. And I was trying 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:22.760 to find it because it was so funny. Terry, the owner, 0:08:23.000 --> 0:08:26.280 actually gave me a letter that was given to her 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:30.400 by a customer, and I'm telling you, it was like 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:33.679 three pages long about the service that she got from 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:40.600 Chelsea anyway. It was awful. And Terry was like, look, 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:43.120 I know that you you sometimes and I wasn't even 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:44.880 in contact with you at this time, but she was like, 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.560 I think that you probably would like to hold onto this. 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:50.040 And it got lost in the shuffles some It's somewhere. 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:53.240 I'll find it, but it is unbelievable the service that 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:55.600 you gave, how terrible it is, how you should never 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.600 be allowed to set foot in this restaurant. And I 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:01.960 was like, wow, I mean you were just bad. I 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:04.640 had no interest in waiting tables. It was simply a 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.240 means to an end until I could support myself in 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:10.480 other ways. Yeah. Yeah, I mean as soon as she 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.280 got her first development deal, she was like, I'm done. 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:16.000 I will never wait tables again. As soon as I 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:18.960 got my first, like the smallest thing, like I got 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:21.400 a guest star role on the Practice, and I I 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:23.920 just thought, because I didn't know anything about how much 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:26.160 money you'd make, I was like, oh, I'll just retire, 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:28.880 like this is it, Like I'm now going to be 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:31.840 a successful person. And then I realized, oh, it's like 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:35.480 ten thousand dollars, you know, for the year. And I'm like, oh, well, 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:37.480 wait a second, I'm gonna need to supplement this with 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.080 some other stuff. But in the beginning, you're like, oh, 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:43.760 I got a job, I could quit everything. But anyway, 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:46.600 so okay. So we moved in together, and Colleen, who 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:50.400 I described in my I was very much fast and loose. 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:53.600 I was out and about meeting men hooking up left 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.920 and right, and Colleen was putting on her pajamas at 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:58.640 eight o'clock. Well, first she puts on her bad Bath 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.000 and Body Works lotion for an hour and a half. 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:05.240 She's the one who tap to lubricate. I've never seen 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:09.120 anyone lubricate as much as this girl. She has never 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:12.959 had an ounce of dry skin. Well but maybe after 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.880 a baby, but not before she would put on Bath 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.840 and Body Works lotion. She would go. Plumria was one 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:21.640 of her favorites. Remember that because I remember all the 0:10:21.679 --> 0:10:26.400 sense because I still the shower because of you. I 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:28.240 used the Pair one because they come out with new 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:30.520 flavors all the time, you know, so some of them 0:10:30.520 --> 0:10:33.719 are superior to the previous ones. Plumya, I remember this. 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.360 And she would just and she had these long French 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:38.600 manicured nails, and she would sit on the couch and 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.400 she loved her shows. She just wanted to She just 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:45.400 wanted to like come home and snuggle, you know, with herself. Basically. 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:46.920 I mean she wanted to meet a guy, because you 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:48.960 had crushes on various people. But I didn't go out. 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:50.920 I was like a herm. I loved being home. I'm 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:53.760 a homebody, and I just loved the apartment. I love, 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:56.760 I loved it. And she loved activities, like she liked 0:10:56.800 --> 0:10:58.760 to get her nails done, she liked to go to work, 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:01.000 like she was very bounced see about all the things 0:11:01.000 --> 0:11:03.720 that she had going on, you know, But all of 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:06.200 those things were interests that I never had. You know. 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:09.240 I wasn't looping up at night with lotion. I remember 0:11:09.280 --> 0:11:11.320 the smells that stayed with me forever. But I would 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:12.760 always be like, don't you want to go out, like, 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.280 let's go meet people, And she'd like, she just didn't 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:17.920 want to write, Yeah, that's just not your person. I 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:19.640 just didn't want to go out. I mean I didn't 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:21.199 want to go. I didn't want to leave you apart. 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:23.760 We go to CPK to get our I still go 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:28.439 to my daughter's restaurant. We go every Sunday night to 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:33.880 c p K. What do you order? No? No, I 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.280 mean I'm want to strict. We'll get into that, but 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:40.360 I mean I'm really strict with my diet. So I word, 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:46.640 it's a vegetable plate with with shrimp and with vegetables. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:49.120 it's really but yeah, CPK is one of my favorites 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:51.320 and then tanning, you'd go to I did. I don't 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:54.280 do that anymore because you know, yeah, well I don't 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:57.320 do that anymore that anymore. But I love the sun. 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:00.079 So we have a beautiful pool and I would be 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:03.079 out there while she was parading in men into the 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:06.240 apartmental I'd be like hi, and She's like, there's my roommate, 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.800 you know. And I'd call her a virgin all the 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:12.400 time because she was one at a later age than 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:15.280 I was one, and I just couldn't understand I'm still 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:18.840 a virgin. She I couldn't understand how she didn't want 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:21.760 to get some penetration. I was like, Colleen, let's go, 0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:24.400 let's get the show on the road. She kept trying 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:26.040 to get me to go out and everything. But I just, 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:28.360 you know, I just I was very naive. I was 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:32.120 very young, twenty three year old, very young and naive, 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:34.080 and I was the butt of a lot of jokes 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.080 and it it did wear on me, but you know, 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:39.800 I got through it. But yeah, Chelsea and I, I 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:42.320 mean we um. Do you remember when we went shopping 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:47.000 for our couches together? Okay, so Chelsea and I decided 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:49.040 that we would go shopping and each get our own 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:53.200 couch because we love to watch shows together. We'd watch friends. Yeah, 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:55.360 so we got our own couch. And she had no money. 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.880 I mean she would she would ask her sisters for money. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.240 She would call and be like, I put money in 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:04.640 my account. I'm completely broke. And I was like, well, 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.080 we need sofas. So I got a credit card. I 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:09.959 opened a credit card, and every month on the refrigerator 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.720 I had how much she owed me, and she would 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:15.880 pay me pay me back. But we would fight constantly. 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:19.800 We would get into drag out whole hair pinch id 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:23.360 like to pinch on the floor in our apartment, rolling 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:26.240 around pulling hair. I mean kind of stuff are you 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.079 fighting about? Like what? Like what? She would to vide 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:31.240 the bill? She would like, give me, well, it wasn't 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:33.160 just that bill, because there was other bills, right. She 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:35.280 would divide the bills like if there we split anything, 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.880 and she would divide it down exactly to a t. 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:39.640 So it would be like so and so in like 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:41.880 twenty eight cents, and I'd be like, oh my god, Colin, 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:44.160 can you just round it to a certain number. But anyway, 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:46.080 go on with your version. Well wait. We would just 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.400 fight about anything about everything, and probably because she was 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:51.400 making fun of me and I would get upset and 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.800 I started to sit and I was super sensitive and 0:13:53.800 --> 0:14:00.360 then when I start to cry, you're gonna she would 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.200 do that to me and it would it would really like. 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.920 So Chelsea is super handy. I mean, she decided that 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.760 in her bedroom she needed a desk for you know, 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:11.199 we had those computers with the big monitors and everything, 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:14.120 and so she was when desktops first came out. So 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.760 she was like, I'm going to Ikea and I'm gonna 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:18.760 get myself a desk and I'm gonna put it together. 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.760 And she did and she came back with this desk. 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:23.560 Then she was like, it's going to be done tonight, 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.640 and like a week later she was still on the 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:32.040 floor putting like I mean, she hit. It was funny. 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:34.920 It was funny because, yeah, it took forever for her 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:36.720 to put that together. Do you remember that. I do 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:38.840 remember my desk because I remember that was the first 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:41.560 email account that I ever got, was when we were 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:44.680 living there. It's still my email address, it's my original 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.560 email address. It's causing me a lot of problems quite frankly, 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:49.840 because well is a ship show and it's the server 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:52.840 never works, So I have some other email addresses, but 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:56.200 that's my primary email address. But we lived in this 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.480 right in this kind of like Melrose Placy type place, 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:01.560 so we would hang out a lot, like we go 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:03.720 to launch or we go to dinner. We worked together, 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.840 so we were basically like you know, operating as sisters 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:10.880 because we were fighting all the time, but also together 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.600 all the time, right, Like we would fight and then 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:15.880 be like, let's go to the movies, you know, and 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.000 then but wait, something I would like to do is 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:21.520 I'd like to read those Chicken Soup for the Soul books. 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:23.920 And Chelsea would be on her couch and I would 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:27.640 be on mine, and I would read her chapters of 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.720 the book and we would just I mean, it was 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.880 like a really nice bonding time. But I remember, do 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.360 you remember we had dinner with Terry and a lot 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:37.680 of people from the restaurant one night, and I mentioned 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:39.800 that I was reading Chicken Soup for the Soul to 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.000 you one night and the ones that the one lady said, 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:45.400 it's so nice that to do that as a as 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:47.280 a couple, like she totally thought we were a couple, 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:51.760 And Chelsea's face was like, no, no, we're not together, 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.440 we're not there. Yeah, yeah, but it was so funny. 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:59.400 But yeah, I mean we would do stuff like that. Honestly, 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:03.760 it just was I was like, you know, the demon 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.920 and she was the wholesome one. I was the demon 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:11.160 child like crazy was like. And we and then she 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:12.680 had a crush on a guy that would come to 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:15.160 the restaurant, and we were all about it, like we 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.040 just wanted this to happen for her, right, we wanted 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:20.720 this to come to Fruition because she had It was 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:22.920 years that you had a crush on him, the soap 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:27.760 opera star. Okay, I I hope he never ever listens 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:29.720 to this, but we're not going to mention his name. 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:32.840 But he would come in and I had the biggest 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:34.840 crush on him, and I met lots of celebrities. I 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.720 became friends with lots of celebrities by them coming in, 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.320 just by seeing them every day. And he would come 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.080 in and talk to me, and I was like I 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:46.120 would come home every day and tell Chelsea stories about 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.920 this is what he said today, and it was just like, 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:51.840 I mean, it was so exciting. I really really yeah. 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:53.800 I loved him. I did. I was like, wow, I 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.040 So anyway, I got the opportunity to go to a 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.000 function that was a really high end function, and I 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:00.680 was like, I'm gonna ask him to go with me. 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:04.840 And I did. I knew where he lived. He lived 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:07.600 in the Palisa, So I went to his house and 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:14.359 I knocked on his door and and he answered the 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:17.720 door in his briefs. He was in his yeah, oh yeah, 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:21.080 and he was beauty. He's he is, he's beautiful. And 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:24.479 he got behind the door and I'm like he's like, Colleen, 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:27.880 what are you? What are you doing here? And I'm like, oh, 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:29.920 I just have a question to ask you. I'm going 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:31.720 to this function and I would like you to come 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:34.040 with me. And he just looked at me and he 0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:37.640 started laughing and he said, oh, I can't go with you. 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:41.960 I said why not? And he said because I have 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.960 a function that I have to go to tonight. And 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:47.520 I said, well, maybe it's the same function and then 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:51.320 you could take me, and he just was like, I'm sorry, 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:53.679 I think you should go. And by this point I 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:55.639 just looked at him and I was like tears and 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:57.560 tears running down my face and I was like, oh, 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:00.440 I'm going, I'm going. And I got in the car 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.879 and I drove home and I bawled the whole way home. 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.800 And when I get home, she's just like, what is 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.200 wrong with you? Because I'm just like a man mass 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:12.280 And I told her what happened, and she's like, you're nuts. 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:15.480 You've got the biggest balls of anyone that I've ever met. 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.000 I can't believe that you actually went to his house 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.960 and did that. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I did. 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:25.480 I did, but I I've seen him since you did that. 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:31.680 After that, Oh man, he was on and I wasn't 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:34.400 there to see him. I knew someone that worked there, 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:36.720 and I went to see the show at taping a 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:39.240 few times there. So when I found out he was on, 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:41.359 I was like, oh my gosh. So I told the 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:43.679 person and they said, oh, let me tell him, and 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:45.600 so he was like, yeah, yeah, send her back, send 0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:48.080 her to my trailer. So I got to see him 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.800 and he introduced me to his wife and his lovely children, 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.320 and I mean, he's he's an awesome person. And you know, 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:57.600 that was just me hoping that, you know, but I 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:01.240 fucking don't you do regret doing that exactly. That is 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.600 what every listener should know. I don't regret at all. 0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:05.200 I've done a lot of crazy ship in my life, 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:08.359 crazy shit that I and you know what, it's brought 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:11.520 me to where I am right now, and I have 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:14.240 no I mean, I I don't think you know this, 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:16.920 but I was in love with this guy for years 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:18.359 and years and years. I was friends with him for 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:20.200 years and years and years. And we spent the day 0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:23.920 together and I hope he's not listening, but anyway, I 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:27.159 loved him and we spent the day together and I 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:29.719 never told him how I felt and he was leaving, 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:32.040 he dropped me off. We spent the day and down 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:35.480 Barrington Avenue. I decided I had that because I feel 0:19:35.520 --> 0:19:39.120 like my life sometimes is like a romantic comedy. And 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.360 I saw him leaving and I started running down Barrington 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:46.080 Avenue calling his name, and he stopped in the middle 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:47.720 of the road and I went up and I was like, 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:52.640 I love you, I love you. It didn't go well. 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:56.760 It didn't you know again, it didn't go well. Yeah again, 0:19:56.880 --> 0:19:59.040 I can't remember that it was supposed to be a 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:02.000