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Speaker 1: Hey, alyssa sale and this is John. Welcome to the

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Speaker 1: Okay story Time podcast game show.

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Speaker 2: The show where you can hear the greatest stories on

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Speaker 2: ours and.

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Speaker 1: Luckily you've won the jackpot for listening to the best

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Speaker 1: stories your ears could listen to. All you have to

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Speaker 1: do is wait for two minutes through these messages from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: My father keeps throwing away our stuff but refuses to

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Speaker 2: pay for it. That what is out is tech no

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Speaker 2: jingle jangle, I'm throwing out. To keep this short, my

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Speaker 2: father has a habit of throwing other people's things away

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Speaker 2: without asking. By the way, this comes from toxic chemical mold.

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Speaker 3: Oh, toxic chemical mold. My favorite ya meil me own.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to spend your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay story Time separate it so

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Speaker 2: few examples. One day I brought a kebab for lunch

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Speaker 2: but didn't finish it and planned to have the other

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Speaker 2: half of it for dinner. I put in the fridge

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Speaker 2: at twelve pm. By seven pm that night I came

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Speaker 2: down and it was gone. I asked if someone ate it,

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Speaker 2: and my dad just said ah thrudway. And when I

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Speaker 2: got mad, he said don't leave half eaten things in

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Speaker 2: the fridge leftovers. So upset dude, this man said, no leftovers.

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Speaker 2: I'd just go in there.

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Speaker 4: I'd start like anything in the fridge that wasn't completely full,

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Speaker 4: I'd be like, what do you want to throw this away? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Do you want to throw this away? Do you what

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Speaker 2: else do you want to throw away? In my country,

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Speaker 2: if you collect cans or recyclable bottles, you can trade

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Speaker 2: them in for ten cents each. My mother had a

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Speaker 2: whole basket she had been collecting that had about eighty

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Speaker 2: cans in it. She kept it in the garage and

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Speaker 2: one day she came to find it and it was gone.

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Speaker 2: She asked my dad and he said he threw it away. Obviously,

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Speaker 2: my mother was mad, not because of the money, but

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Speaker 2: because she spent time collecting them, and he didn't insult

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Speaker 2: her before throwing it out, nor did he care. We

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Speaker 2: keep her sneakers in boots shoes we don't wear often

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Speaker 2: in the garage. My mom brought a new pair of

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Speaker 2: sneakers and put them on the shoe rack, so now

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Speaker 2: she had two sneakers. She went to work with the

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Speaker 2: new pair and then came home and her second pair

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Speaker 2: were gone. She asked my dad and he said he

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Speaker 2: threw them away, didn't even ask if she was still

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Speaker 2: gonna use them, and they were one hundred dollars sneakers.

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Speaker 3: This is just such strange dad behavior.

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Speaker 2: Now, I kept my box of invisiline retainers, Oh no,

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Speaker 2: in a backpack in my room and hidden in the closet.

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Speaker 2: Oh no. Yes, I'll admit the backpack had rubbish in it,

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Speaker 2: three or four empty bottles of water and iced tea,

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Speaker 2: and papers and books. Sometimes I can be best see you,

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Speaker 2: but I always clean out my bag every week, and

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Speaker 2: there wasn't any food in there. I came home from

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Speaker 2: youty yesterday to find everything in that bag gone, including

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Speaker 2: the box of my fifteen in visiline trays. To be clear,

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Speaker 2: having gone through in visiline, those things are expensive. I'm

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Speaker 2: literally throwing dad stuff away at this point. Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: He's not kidding, and he's been told multiple times not

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Speaker 4: to do this. The only thing that's gonna teach him

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Speaker 4: now from my perspective, if I'm op, is throwing his

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Speaker 4: stuff away.

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Speaker 2: The only person who goes through people's stuff in my

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Speaker 2: house is my father, and my mother has had in

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Speaker 2: Visiline in the past, so she would know not to

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Speaker 2: touch my box. That's okay. So he threw out the box,

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Speaker 2: that says in Visilne, Yeah, that's crazy.

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Speaker 4: After one, after one or two times of being like, Dad,

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Speaker 4: you got to stop doing this, I'm just keep doing it. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm making stuff disappear. You know, maybe don't

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Speaker 4: throw it away, like just hide it. Yeah, so that

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Speaker 4: when he freaks out, you can be like, wouldn't it

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Speaker 4: be great is if that was still in the house,

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, it is here, you can have it.

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Speaker 3: Stop touching our stuff.

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Speaker 2: I know he threw them out because I searched my

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Speaker 2: entire room for them and didn't find anything. I've never

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Speaker 2: lost a box before. I always know where I keep them,

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Speaker 2: so there's absolutely no way they vanished. I can infront

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Speaker 2: him and he said, you just don't remember. He just

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Speaker 2: threw what was in the bag away. Then stop throwing

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Speaker 2: stuff away. You're losing your throwing stuff away privileges. Now

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Speaker 2: I'm absolutely furious. Not only did he just go into

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Speaker 2: my room and throw them away, but he's refusing to

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Speaker 2: pay to have them replaced, and it may be up

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Speaker 2: to three thousand dollars yeah, Australian dollars but yeah, which

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Speaker 2: probably a little bit less than American still incredibly expensive.

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Speaker 3: What are the ages? Do we have ages in college?

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Speaker 2: I believe? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: So it's like just old enough to be well? Tenively,

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Speaker 4: you're not my responsibility anymore. Well, if I'm not, then

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Speaker 4: stop throwing my stuff. Are you telling me I now

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Speaker 4: have to pursue litigation against you for destroying my private property?

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Speaker 2: Or are you just gonna help me out? What are

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Speaker 2: we doing? But yeah, but he's refusing to pay to

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Speaker 2: have them replaced. As my health insurance doesn't cover lost

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Speaker 2: or damaged in visi line, then maybe don't throw it out?

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Speaker 2: My father said, I'm disrespectful for confronting him and being

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Speaker 2: so angry, as well as demanding that he paid the

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Speaker 2: cost of the replacement.

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Speaker 4: Well, being angry in a confrontation usually never helps you

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Speaker 4: to get what you want out of it.

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Speaker 2: What do I do? This was my last fifteen PHRAS

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Speaker 2: as well. No, I was due to finish by June

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Speaker 2: after two years of treatment. Now I have to wait

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Speaker 2: and pay extra all because he threw my stuff out. Also,

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Speaker 2: my father has not paid a single dollar for my

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Speaker 2: invisiligne treatment. I'm nineteen and paid nine thousand dollars for it,

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Speaker 2: plus one thousand dollars for tooth extractions I had to

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Speaker 2: have as my mouth was too small for all my teeth.

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Speaker 2: None of this is covered by private health insurance, so

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Speaker 2: I have spent ten k on my teeth all of

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Speaker 2: my own money, because they have been a huge insecurity

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Speaker 2: of mine and also affected the way I eat. One

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Speaker 2: more thing, the box is clearly labeled in visilign and

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Speaker 2: has my full name on it. It wasn't some random

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Speaker 2: black box that could have had anything in it. Anyone

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Speaker 2: who can read would know that it was in a

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Speaker 2: visiliin box, and it was heavy as it had fifteen

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Speaker 2: aligners in it. So the excuse of I thought it

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Speaker 2: was emp to use not valid either. And there are

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Speaker 2: some relevant comments. Let's jump in commoner one. No offense,

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Speaker 2: but this level of disrespectful behavior towards the entire family

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Speaker 2: would make me willingly throw hands with him if he

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Speaker 2: was my father. If you're refusing to pay and you've

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Speaker 2: cost the house thousands of dollars because you don't give

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Speaker 2: a crap and just throw other people's stuff away, which

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Speaker 2: is rude as heck. By the way, no sense of privacy,

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Speaker 2: ownership or personal space. I'll box you over your BSU

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Speaker 2: and or you might be underacting. Is it possible to

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Speaker 2: sue for damages? I mean it's he said, she said.

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Speaker 2: But he should face free percussions. He needs to not

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Speaker 2: everything can be decided by him. Yes, op, he says.

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Speaker 2: I know, my mother and I are tired of it,

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Speaker 2: but my father is not a nice person and is

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Speaker 2: quite angry. If we try and speak up, he will

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Speaker 2: either dismiss us or get verbally harmful or even physically.

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Speaker 2: Oh well, then your mother should divorce him and you

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Speaker 2: should sue him for sure. Bury him, dude. He almost

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Speaker 2: lost it at my mother when she asked why he

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Speaker 2: threw away her cands. And she wasn't even shouting, she

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Speaker 2: was just asking why we are a house full of

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Speaker 2: girls excluding him. So it's tough, ohn or two. Sorry,

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Speaker 2: I can't get past that. Don't leave half eaten things

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Speaker 2: in the fridge. Where the f else do we leave leftovers?

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Speaker 2: The fridge is the only correct place for half eaten things.

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Speaker 2: Your father is an insane ale. Damage a lost isn't covered,

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Speaker 2: but what about theft? Might have to file a police report,

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Speaker 2: But three thousand dollars is worth it. I'd say you

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Speaker 2: can find out the hard way not to f with

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Speaker 2: other people's stuff. Yeah. I mean he sounds like a

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Speaker 2: terrible person. So I have no qualms in telling you

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Speaker 2: to sue this man. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I mean the only problem is it's going to be

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Speaker 4: evidence and testimony, and it's like, sure, there's it's going

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Speaker 4: to be.

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Speaker 2: I mean maybe if you could text it and be like,

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Speaker 2: why did you throw in my trays and then see

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Speaker 2: if you can admit it? I think Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I think what you'll have to do is either if

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Speaker 4: you want to do that, you'll have to gather evidence,

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Speaker 4: or like try to do it covertly again like when

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Speaker 4: he does it again, and then you can use that

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Speaker 4: evidence as like, well, this is logically you can make

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Speaker 4: the leap that if he threw this stuff away like that,

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Speaker 4: he threw the stuff that I also am claiming he

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Speaker 4: threw away like that, and it was worth three thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so anyway, Ope, he says, yeah, he's crazy like that.

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Speaker 2: He has an insane habit of throwing things out on

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Speaker 2: the fridge. No one in our family has time to

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Speaker 2: cook every day, so usually we cook and book for

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Speaker 2: three days then cook again. If I cook pasta and

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Speaker 2: he sees it in the fridge for more than one day,

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Speaker 2: he just throws it out. Once I bought garlic mince.

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Speaker 2: It was brand new and I had only used it

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Speaker 2: once before. He threw it out, even though the expired

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Speaker 2: date wasn't untill next year. He said it was cluttering

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Speaker 2: the fridge. This dude is like, I think, a clinical problem.

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Speaker 2: One hundred person. I think this is like, you should

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Speaker 2: take him to the doctor because this is like a

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Speaker 2: medical issue.

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Speaker 4: Well, taking angry people to the doctor one of the

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Speaker 4: hardest things you could ever try to do in your life.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely. I brought tomatoes to make pasta and lasagna for

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Speaker 2: a friend's dinner. I brought about four tomatoes plus the

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Speaker 2: ones I already had in the fridge because they weren't

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Speaker 2: going to be enough, And he threw the ones we

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Speaker 2: already had in the fridge out although they were still fresh.

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Speaker 2: I can list so many more examples. Commoner three says,

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Speaker 2: not the ale. I can't believe he's gotten away with

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Speaker 2: his behavior for so long. I would take him to

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Speaker 2: small claims court if he won't replace them and hope.

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Speaker 2: He says, thanks for the advice. I'm just not sure

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Speaker 2: how that would work, because it's really my word against his,

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Speaker 2: and he could argue that I lost them, although my

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Speaker 2: dentists could confirm and say I would never because I

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Speaker 2: take great care of my ends line, I don't have

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Speaker 2: any photo evidence that it was in the bag, nor

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Speaker 2: that he threw it out. Common forces so he doesn't work,

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Speaker 2: pay bills is and spends's days throwing out his family's

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Speaker 2: expensive Why does your mom tolerate this? Why doesn't she

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Speaker 2: pun him out or divorce him? It's time to make

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Speaker 2: an exit strategy, Opie says. My mother doesn't believe in

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Speaker 2: divorce unless cheating has happened. For all she knows, my

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Speaker 2: father has never been unfaithful, so I ask her that

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Speaker 2: all the time. Though, why don't you divorce him? I've

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Speaker 2: actually been asking her to divorce him since I was

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Speaker 2: ten years old, But anyways, I will never know. Commoner

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Speaker 2: five says it sounds like your dad needs to learn

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Speaker 2: how it feels for stuff to be thrown away, and

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Speaker 2: Opie says, I wish, but he'd attack me if I

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Speaker 2: did that, in which case, I think it's time for

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Speaker 2: you to not go back to this house or keep

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Speaker 2: any of your things there. It seems like you have

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Speaker 2: some money stored away that you're using for in visline,

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Speaker 2: if you do have any extra money, I think that

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Speaker 2: this is the time to get out of this house. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and also get your dad arrested for abuse.

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Speaker 4: Yeah for me, well you got to you I don't know,

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Speaker 4: I mean, Opiece, that's like maybe instigate the fight and

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Speaker 4: then have recorded so that then you can get him

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Speaker 4: thrown out, but also make sure he stay safe. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's worth gathering evidence against people. Yeah, it's like, sure,

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Speaker 4: it's really easy to just be like, oh, go to

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Speaker 4: the police, but it's like the police are like, we

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Speaker 4: can't just arrest your dad because you.

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Speaker 2: Told us the stuff like we have.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, the law into order happens in steps. Can just

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Speaker 4: skip all the evidence get out of here though.

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Speaker 2: Opie. On if she was able to retrieve anything from

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Speaker 2: the trash bins, Opie says, unfortunately, no. Our trash gets

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Speaker 2: taken away on Friday. I realized on Saturday and check

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Speaker 2: the trash, but there was nothing there. My dad usually

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Speaker 2: waits to throw things out right before the trash is collected,

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Speaker 2: so we can't retrieve it. You did that with my

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Speaker 2: mother's cans, and when she came home from work, it

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Speaker 2: was too late to get them as she came home

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Speaker 2: at five pm on a Friday and the trash had

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Speaker 2: been collected at ten am that day. And there is

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Speaker 2: an update.

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Speaker 4: So my theory, which is not mine, it does belonging

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Speaker 4: to me. I saw it, Ming Ming put it down

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Speaker 4: there in the chat. Is he sell all of this stuff?

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Speaker 2: I think he's just throwing him.

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Speaker 4: He's got no job. He's got no job. Does he

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Speaker 4: have secret he's making secret money? He sold those tennis shoes.

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Speaker 4: The food he's not selling the food. Don't know, but

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Speaker 4: like that's the only way I could make sense of

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Speaker 4: this is it's like he's selling this stuff because it's

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Speaker 4: like the cans too. It's like, oh, all the cans disappeared.

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Speaker 4: It's like that's literally like you're just throwing away. I

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Speaker 4: mean it's not like a you know, life change amount

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Speaker 4: of money, but it's like one more step and you

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Speaker 4: just have cash.

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Speaker 2: So is he not doing that? I think a lot

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Speaker 2: of people are saying, like nannycam cameras. I think that's

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Speaker 2: what we do. Yeah, and then you just start leaving

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Speaker 2: all this stuff.

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Speaker 4: Out right, you have to gather evidence and then if

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Speaker 4: you have evidence where it's like, look, he's doing this.

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Speaker 4: So when I tell you that he threw this stuff away,

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Speaker 4: you can probably consider that he did that and then

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Speaker 4: have your what your dentist is a character witness and

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Speaker 4: it's like, yeah, this person takes great care of the

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Speaker 4: in his line, they've never lost any of It's blah

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Speaker 4: blah blah blah whatever. But it's gonna be a process

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Speaker 4: and you need evidence.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Update, Yes, I have a bitter sweet update divorce

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Speaker 2: please please the sweet parties that I called my dentist

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Speaker 2: and explained everything to them. They told me not to

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Speaker 2: worry and that we will replace all the aligners for free.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Nice, that's a huge deal.

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Speaker 3: Doubly huge deal.

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Speaker 2: They sympathized with me and my situation as well as

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Speaker 2: acknowledged that I'm a good patient and do not have

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Speaker 2: any prioristry of losing or damaging my aligners. Unfortunately, it

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Speaker 2: will add some time to my treatment, better than three

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars, but only an extra month or so, which

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Speaker 2: I'm fine. The bitter part my mother and I confronted

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Speaker 2: my father about this. We tried to be civil and

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Speaker 2: just ask why he threw them out and if he

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Speaker 2: knew how expensive they are. He completely dismissed us, got angry,

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Speaker 2: and walked away. We tried to reason with him, but

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Speaker 2: he just scoffed and said, I don't need this drama

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 4: It sounds like somebody who knows they have a mental

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Speaker 4: issue and don't want to confront it.

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Speaker 2: A few hours later, my mother lectured him on how

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Speaker 2: he keeps throwing our things away and that he has

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Speaker 2: to put an end to this behavior or she will

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Speaker 2: start throwing his things out as well. By the way,

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Speaker 2: you should never throw us away because we've got full

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Speaker 2: episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,

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Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search a Pocus storytime. It's

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Speaker 2: that simple. But there is a little bit left to

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Speaker 2: this story. But do you have any final thoughts?

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Speaker 4: If you're gonna pursue legal avenue, you gotta gather evidence.

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Speaker 2: Yes, especially because your mom on board.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean are hard headed, dude. Sometimes you're never

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Speaker 4: gonna be able to convince your mom to leave this guy. Yes,

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Speaker 4: I know people where I.

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Speaker 2: Think you have to prioritize your safety at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, and if he is a bad, bad guy,

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Speaker 2: get out of there. And then we can start pursuing

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Speaker 2: legal action once you were no longer under that roof. Yep,

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Speaker 2: it's not safe, but there is a little bit left

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Speaker 2: to the story. I'm a bit surprised because I was

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Speaker 2: terrified he would start yelling, but nope, he was just

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Speaker 2: watching TV and completely ignoring her when she was giving

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Speaker 2: him an earful. This morning, he left the house before

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Speaker 2: six because when my mother woke up, he was already gone,

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Speaker 2: and he hasn't come home since or messaged us. It's

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Speaker 2: four twenty pm right now in Australia. He's unemployed, so

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Speaker 2: I don't know where the heck he's gone, but I

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Speaker 2: don't really care. Relevant comments Comminer one says, hang on,

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Speaker 2: he's unemployed, but throwing all these things out, are you

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Speaker 2: sure new shoes, if hardly worn, still might sell for

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Speaker 2: a quick fifty I think there might be a bigger

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Speaker 2: issue at play here other than the power play. Opie says,

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Speaker 2: I've been thinking about that, but the things he's usually

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Speaker 2: throwing out are just so stupid and valueless money wise,

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Speaker 2: like the food in their fridge. You can't resell a cold,

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Speaker 2: half eaten kebab, the cans he could have traded them in.

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Speaker 2: But why go through all the trouble for eight dollars?

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Speaker 2: They're ten cents each. My mother's shoes, he threw away

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Speaker 2: the old pair, although she explicitly said she would use

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Speaker 2: the old pair for the gym and the new one

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Speaker 2: for work. The old pair were a bit torn, probably

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Speaker 2: could have sold for twenty bucks at most. My invisi line.

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Speaker 2: I have a feeling he threw them away out of

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Speaker 2: spite because he asked me for a loan of one

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars a few weeks ago and I didn't give

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Speaker 2: him the money. Oh my god, he totally did that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but even then, you can't sell someone else's invisil line.

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Speaker 2: They're molded directly to your teeth.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I definitely think it's just a power trip for him,

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Speaker 2: and he enjoys seeing us frustrated. Comment or two says,

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Speaker 2: but maybe your father didn't know that, Opie says, Oh,

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Speaker 2: he knows. We've all had dental treatment in our family.

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Speaker 2: My mother had in visilne three years ago. My sister

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Speaker 2: had braces and now she wears retainers. My father also

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Speaker 2: had braces when he was in his thirties, and he

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Speaker 2: had to wear a retainer. He's more than familiar with

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Speaker 2: this stuff. And what does Opie's father need the money for?

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Speaker 2: And is he planning to pay Ope back? Opie says, yeah,

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Speaker 2: wtf on the loan. That's exactly what I thought too.

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Speaker 2: He said he needed it because he had no savings

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Speaker 2: left after being unemployed for five now six months. Maybe

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Speaker 2: get a job. Yeah, I'm thinking that's the solution, not income.

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Speaker 2: I knew I would never see that money again, so

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Speaker 2: I obviously said no, especially since he wasn't trying or

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Speaker 2: putting any effort into getting employment. I understand the job

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Speaker 2: market is tough right now, but a man of his age,

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Speaker 2: work experience, and qualifications should not be unemployed for that long.

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Speaker 2: He's fifty four, has worked in banks for fifteen plus years,

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Speaker 2: as two bachelors and a master's degree in finance analytics

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Speaker 2: and mathematics. He's just being lazy and not looking for

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Speaker 2: a job because he knows my mother can afford to

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Speaker 2: and we'll have to hold it down for us. So

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Speaker 2: I refuse to give him money. The reason I agreed

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Speaker 2: to that the statement was because he's a very educated man.

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Speaker 2: He's lived in Australia for more than twenty years, is

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Speaker 2: a citizen as a degree from his home country and

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Speaker 2: two including a master's from a Go eight in Australia.

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Speaker 2: His work experience has also been very good, as he's

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Speaker 2: worked at top banks in senior positions. With all that

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Speaker 2: in mind and his age, there's no reason why he

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Speaker 2: shouldn't have a job many places with jumped Iram. Just

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Speaker 2: from his resume alone, I can understand if a twenty

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Speaker 2: two year old fresh graduate from a regular university is

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Speaker 2: struggling to find a job with a bachelor's, but someone

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Speaker 2: like him should has Opie's father been doing the chores

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Speaker 2: at home since he's not working. Op says, I do

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Speaker 2: the grocery shopping and pay for it. I clean on

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Speaker 2: weekdays when I don't have university, and my mom deep

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Speaker 2: cleans on the weekends when she's supposed to be resting

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Speaker 2: from working all week. He does do the dishes occasionally,

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Speaker 2: but only because my mother and I got fed up

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Speaker 2: with doing that too when he was gone all day,

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Speaker 2: so he knows if he doesn't do it, the dishes

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Speaker 2: will pile up. Apart from that, he doesn't really do

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Speaker 2: much apart from watch TV. Sometimes. He takes my sister

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Speaker 2: to her after school activities as well, but that's only

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Speaker 2: because my mother is still at work, so if he

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Speaker 2: doesn't take her then no one will be able to.

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Speaker 2: And has Opie's father done this throwing away thing before

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Speaker 2: he became unemployed. Opie says yes he did, which is

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Speaker 2: what confuses me. I doubt it's a money thing and

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Speaker 2: more of an I hate you people, I want you

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Speaker 2: to suffer a type thing. And that's the end of

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Speaker 2: that story.

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Speaker 4: My mother accused me of turning people against her, but

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Speaker 4: she's wrong.

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Speaker 2: You tardoor against me.

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Speaker 4: A medium amount of backstory, I thirty two female have

398
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Speaker 4: been in a rather rough patch with my mom fifty

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Speaker 4: two female. This has been going on since Thanksgiving, when

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Speaker 4: she didn't want me or my husband to celebrate in

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00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,160
Speaker 4: the morning with my in laws. Christmas was the same.

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Speaker 4: She believes that my husband and I should only spend

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Speaker 4: time with her on the holidays because men should leave

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Speaker 4: their families and join their wife's family. But she openly

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Speaker 4: states she would be pissed if my married brothers left

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Speaker 4: her for their wives families. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 4: from user apprehensive West two six nine and if you

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Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 4: slash Okay Storytime suppurate. This conflict led to my husband

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Speaker 4: and me planning a separate holiday trip to visit my brother, Michael,

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Speaker 4: thirty eight male, who lives in a different state. My

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Speaker 4: mother at the time said she was so hurt from

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Speaker 4: Thanksgiving that she didn't want to be around us for

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Speaker 4: Christmas with Michael's family. When I told Michael my husband

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00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,119
Speaker 4: and I would be visiting separate from my parents, he

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Speaker 4: asked me why this is.

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Speaker 3: When I confided in him and told him what had

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Speaker 3: been going on.

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Speaker 4: This upset him, feeling like his kids were missing out

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Speaker 4: on our big family Christmas because of my mother's demands.

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Speaker 4: Michael decided to bring this up to my mom, pointing

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Speaker 4: out out to her that he has not abandoned his

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Speaker 4: family for his wife's family. This confrontation went about as

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Speaker 4: well as you would expect. My mother scolded me and

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Speaker 4: then put Michael and me on a three way call

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Speaker 4: to call us whining babies who gossip and refuse to

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Speaker 4: show gratitude for all the things she's done and the

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Speaker 4: money she's spent to raise us. See now she's moving

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Speaker 4: the goalpost. Yes, it's not what this was about her.

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Speaker 2: I paid for you, your all life and this is out

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Speaker 2: your tree, your mother, how dare you come to me

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Speaker 2: for clarity?

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Speaker 4: To make things short, we had a three hour conversation

434
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,159
Speaker 4: that went in circles and resolved nothing.

435
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,680
Speaker 2: Fast forward to this week.

436
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 4: I haven't seen my mother much in the last four

437
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,199
Speaker 4: months due to a number of factors. Not only are

438
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,639
Speaker 4: things rocky between us, but I work full time and

439
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 4: was in an accelerated master's program. I just finished my

440
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,680
Speaker 4: program last week, and of course I want my whole

441
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 4: family to go to my graduation. Not all of my

442
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,679
Speaker 4: family is able to go, nor my friends or in

443
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 4: laws because there are limited seats. My mother called me

444
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,120
Speaker 4: to confirm the plan for my gradua situation, and halfway

445
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 4: through the call, her tone shifted suddenly once again, she

446
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 4: was acting cold, distant, and as if she knew something

447
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 4: I didn't. This caught me off guard because we had

448
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 4: just spent thirty minutes talking normally, so I asked if

449
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 4: something was wrong or if she had a reason to

450
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 4: be upset with me. She kept bringing up Michael in

451
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,680
Speaker 4: a conversation that they had just had. I kept asking

452
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 4: what I did, and she refused to tell me, started

453
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 4: talking in riddles and then quickly hid me.

454
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,639
Speaker 2: This my child won't come for Christmas because her husband

455
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 2: wants to go see his family. Should I kill them?

456
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 2: Naswer it what I know? Don't do that. Well, that's

457
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,160
Speaker 2: not the answer I want it. You're wrong, So yes,

458
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 2: it's a yes question.

459
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 4: Then that's the character of riddle master. Folks look out

460
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 4: for riddleman the riddle master yep. So now I am

461
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 4: anxious that there's a problem between them that'll impact someone's

462
00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 4: ability to go to my graduation.

463
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 3: Like I said, I want ever to be there.

464
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 4: So I called Michael and asked him if he knew

465
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 4: any reason that my mom would be acting this way

466
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 4: and be upset with me before my graduation. He said no,

467
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 4: they had an argument, but it had nothing to do

468
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 4: with me. I said, okay, and we left it at that.

469
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 4: The next day, it makes it back to my mom

470
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,679
Speaker 4: that I had asked Michael if there was something wrong,

471
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 4: and then chaos poos. My mom called me to yell

472
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 4: at me for thirty minutes and sent me long paragraphs

473
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,399
Speaker 4: of messages saying how I criticize everything she does. She

474
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 4: then blamed me for all of her relationship issues because

475
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,120
Speaker 4: I gossip and emboldened people to argue with her.

476
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:38,440
Speaker 2: You'll join them against me. You have done that yourself. Yeah,

477
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 2: in this case, very true.

478
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 3: She basically cut me off, said that she wouldn't attend

479
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,400
Speaker 3: my graduation, and left it at that. The following day,

480
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 3: my dad is playing damage control. He's telling me he

481
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 3: knows I didn't do anything wrong, but that my mother

482
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 3: is stubborn and it's on me to apologize to her

483
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 3: so that she'll go to my graduation. I refused, and

484
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 3: he wouldn't stop hounding me. Then something happened that has

485
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 3: never happened before. I felt like I was being stabbed

486
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 3: in the ribs. The pain radiated to my heart and

487
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 3: it hurt so bad I couldn't move when my vision

488
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 3: started to narrow, like I was going to faint. Make

489
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 3: no mistake, I have frequent serious panic attacks, but I

490
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 3: have never experienced this before. And my husband called nine

491
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 3: one one good.

492
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 4: I am fine now, and was fine until the next

493
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 4: day when my mom once again texted me ninety two

494
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,359
Speaker 4: times in three hours.

495
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 2: I'm blocking her. She's blocked. Yeah, I'm like, Mom, I'm

496
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: not talking to you anymore. Bye. Look.

497
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 4: I told her that we had to call an ambulance

498
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 4: because of an anxiety attack. No doubt because of this.

499
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 4: Her response to me needing an ambulance was it would

500
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 4: have been simpler if you just called me to clear

501
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 4: things up.

502
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 2: While she was having a panic attack.

503
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 4: Oftentimes hard to say when someone's an artist as someone

504
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 4: who's not a professional. Anyway, Reading a Reddit story a

505
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 4: mother's reaction to her daughter being hospitalized, yeahing, Well you

506
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 4: should have just called me and talked to me.

507
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 2: No, that's snartism. Yeah, that's crazy.

508
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,439
Speaker 4: I told her that she really will say anything but

509
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 4: an apology, and until she genuinely says sorry to me,

510
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 4: she is not welcome at my graduation.

511
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 2: She is now saying that.

512
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 4: I'm the one who caused this, went behind her back

513
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 4: and hurt her, and she can't believe that I wouldn't

514
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 4: let her go to my graduation. Well, you're better start

515
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 4: believing in ghosts, you start believing in being disinvited to

516
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 4: my graduation.

517
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 2: She uninvited herself and then was like okay, yeah, like

518
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 2: she said she didn't want to go, and then is like,

519
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 2: now you don't want me to go? Now I want

520
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 2: to go more than anything.

521
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 4: So am I at the ahole for not allowing my

522
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 4: mom to attend my graduation? Until she apologizes. No, nope, nope, nope, nope,

523
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 4: you gotta learn that her.

524
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 2: Actions have consequences.

525
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 4: And we do have an update, but I mean, like

526
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 4: before we get into it, I know we have thoughts.

527
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 2: I got one or two.

528
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 4: It's real difficult dealing with a nartist because you can't

529
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 4: just go by the normal like communication playbook.

530
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 3: It's like, because they're never they're not going to follow it.

531
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 2: I think any consequences of things that they really want,

532
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 2: like take away the things that they really want, so

533
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 2: that they learn if communication hasn't worked, like if you've

534
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,960
Speaker 2: already tried that and they don't listen, take away the

535
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 2: things that they want, and they're gonna start acting better

536
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,400
Speaker 2: if they're not getting what they want because they're a nurcissist, right.

537
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 2: Not a good update? Oh no, we were right there, bummer.

538
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 4: So after talking with my husband thirty four mail about

539
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 4: my mom attending my graduation, we decided I might regret

540
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 4: it in the future if she doesn't go. So I

541
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 4: bit the bullet and invited my mom. But I did

542
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 4: not apologize for anything. This is a terrible idea. I'm

543
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 4: I'm upset that your boyfriend convinced you to do this,

544
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 4: we basically called a temporary truth, so that my dad

545
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 4: and the younger brother who still lives with them could attend.

546
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 4: Your mom was gonna say, well, I'm not going now

547
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 4: you aren't going either. My graduation was in a different

548
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,959
Speaker 4: state because I'm an online school, and that also happens

549
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 4: to be where my brother Michael lives. So we checked

550
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 4: into our hotels on Sunday on Mother's Day. The ceremony

551
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 4: was going to be on Monday morning. The second ceremony

552
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 4: was on Tuesday morning, so the plan was always to

553
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 4: check out on Tuesday. This is important for later. Here's

554
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 4: how the next three days went. Sunday, she expected me

555
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 4: to buy and cook a five course gourmet Italian meal

556
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 4: with one hour notice for Mother's Day. Keep in mind,

557
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 4: I'm a student with no income living in one of

558
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 4: the most expensive states in America. My husband and I

559
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 4: got nice Italian takeout for the whole family as a

560
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,679
Speaker 4: compromise with her. When we showed up, she refused to

561
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 4: come eat with us. Right when I walked in with dinner,

562
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 4: she said, I'm going to go to sleep and only

563
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 4: came to eat when my dad had to pretty much

564
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 4: beg her to come out. When she did come out

565
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 4: to eat with us, she made snyder remarks on how

566
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 4: much of a spoiled brat I am. She kept doing

567
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 4: this periodically throughout all three days. My graduation dinner was

568
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 4: on Monday night. Michael, my sister in law who's thirty

569
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,119
Speaker 4: six female, and their two children, a newborn and a

570
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 4: two year old, joined my mom, dad, younger brother, and husband,

571
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 4: and I for dinner. My mother refused to talk to

572
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 4: Michael and flat out did not even look at my

573
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 4: sister in law for our two hour dinner. My dad

574
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 4: asked her to sit next to my husband so that

575
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 4: she could hear the conversations.

576
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 2: She refused.

577
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 4: Instead, she sat at a distance, glaring at me and

578
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 4: Michael the whole night. Michael offered for her to hold

579
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 4: his newborn for the first time, and she ignored him

580
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 4: and the offer. Immediately after everyone finished eating, she left

581
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,959
Speaker 4: with a cold goodbye and slammed her car door shut.

582
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 4: The next morning, the day I've posted this was the

583
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 4: most important ceremony where I walk the stage with my

584
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 4: master's diploma. We had originally planned to go to brunch afterwards,

585
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 4: but we underestimated the time it would take for the

586
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 4: ceremony and had to get back home for work the

587
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 4: next day. Because of this, we had to drive back

588
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 4: to our home state six hours away right after my graduation.

589
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 4: During the ceremony, the speaker told everyone who supports or

590
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 4: supported the master candidate to stand up and be recognized,

591
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 4: and my mother refused to stand up, and thus she

592
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 4: was not reckocked. However, I want you you right there,

593
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 4: I want you to recognize. You can listen to full

594
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 4: episodes with stories just like this on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio,

595
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 4: wherever you listen to podcasts, just search Okay story time,

596
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 4: and you've got an archive with over fifty nine consecutive

597
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 4: days worth of stories to listen to.

598
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 2: It's true, that's a whole lot of story, a whole

599
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 2: lot of story.

600
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, even if you listen to that at two times speed,

601
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 3: it's gonna take you a month and a whole lot

602
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 3: of us.

603
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 4: So we do have a little bit more story left here,

604
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 4: or I guess some more bullet points. But so we've

605
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 4: already you know, once you know who you're dealing with here,

606
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 4: and it seems like you do know, you can just

607
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 4: exclude her.

608
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 2: I don't think your boyfriend fully understood who this is.

609
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 2: Dynamic here.

610
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 4: No, and I usually would agree with him where it's like, yeah,

611
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 4: sometimes you know, keep my paper. Like our parents or

612
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 4: people in our family look on the outside of an

613
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,199
Speaker 4: event like a graduation might be something that you end

614
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 4: up regretting. But I think at this point it's going

615
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 4: to be like I regret having her here because all

616
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 4: she did was be angry and mean, and she doesn't even.

617
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 2: Care that you're getting your masters. No.

618
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 4: After the ceremony, she asked if we were still doing brunch.

619
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 4: I said, we have to get back home, and then

620
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 4: she looked at my dad like can you believe this?

621
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 4: She then started walking away instead of taking pictures with me.

622
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 4: My dad said, we celebrated at dinner last night. Why

623
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 4: are you being like this. My dad told my mom

624
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 4: to get in the picture with me, and she refused

625
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 4: three times. I asked my dad to take a picture

626
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,439
Speaker 4: with me, and my mom answered for him no. So

627
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 4: I ended up getting one picture with my younger brother,

628
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 4: and then my mom stormed off. My dad and younger

629
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 4: brother followed her. No, my guy get a backbone.

630
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 2: No, I mean the fact that he was to her,

631
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 2: it's definitely he's definitely like allowing a lot of this

632
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 2: behavior to slide. Dude, I can't.

633
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 4: If I had a wife and my daughter just got

634
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 4: a master's degree and my wife's telling me, no, you

635
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 4: can't have.

636
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 2: A picture with your daughter because she's pissy, i'd be

637
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 2: for her. Yeah. Well, the thing is that the fact

638
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 2: that he is not like speaking out against any of

639
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 2: this behavior against ope is time.

640
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 4: So a few minutes later, I texted the family group

641
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 4: chat with about ten people who don't know about any

642
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 4: of the drama going on. I said how grateful I

643
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 4: am for everyone's support and for watching me graduate through

644
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 4: live stream, and that I am truly blessed. My mom

645
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 4: responded by saying, you are blessed at a high price,

646
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 4: and that's it.

647
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

648
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 4: So there's the update. God, I don't know what to

649
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 4: do from here. My therapist will be seeing dollar signs

650
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 4: when I tell her how it went.

651
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, geez, your mom is a piece of work.

652
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 4: That is I'm glad you're in therapy. And that is

653
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,959
Speaker 4: the end of that story. John here og host. We're

654
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 4: gonna get back to these stories, but a quick three

655
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 4: minute break from hops from our sponsors.

656
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 2: My parents demanded I get them a new home. I refuse, Uh,

657
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 2: you can't demand that. My parents have never been good

658
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 2: with finances. My dad makes a pretty good penny, but

659
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 2: they live beyond their means and it has absolutely shattered

660
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 2: their credit so much so that they had to file

661
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 2: for bankruptcy two years ago.

662
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 3: When as call me, they can get in the house

663
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 3: pretty hard.

664
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,719
Speaker 2: Oo, that's gonna be pracy man. Since they're bankruptcy. They

665
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: rented a home which they then abandoned the lease for

666
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 2: and moved into a house that takes up one of

667
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 2: my dad's paychecks entirely. By the way, this comes from

668
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 2: throwing away him. And if you want to spend your

669
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. Well,

670
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 2: he recently lost his job and they're talking about downgrading. However,

671
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 2: they haven't paid tons of bills forty K and debt,

672
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 2: hospital bills, plus miscellaneous subscriptions and back pay. Knowing my

673
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 2: brother owes about twenty K to student loans, they decided

674
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 2: to bring it up to me the other day that

675
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 2: they were downgrading and using my social to get themselves

676
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 2: a new place. I flat out said no and laid

677
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 2: out my exact reasoning. And they're using it to drive

678
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: a wedge in between us. I owe a few hundred

679
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 2: dollars to hospital bills, but nothing too crazy, so my

680
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 2: credit is pretty much perfect. I'm terrified of them ruining it,

681
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 2: and I'm scared that even if I say no, they

682
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 2: already have my numbers so they can do what they want.

683
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 2: Comments common one says, tell them f note, tell them.

684
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 2: If they do, you'll call the cops. Yes, tell your

685
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: parents to get their crap together. It's going to suck,

686
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 2: but don't let them put you into a giant hole

687
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 2: like they're in. Also, start getting periodic credit checks to

688
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 2: make sure they haven't told ready. Comma two, you're working

689
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 2: on moving out by September? Does that mean you have

690
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 2: a place lined up? Solidify plans to move out asapp

691
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 2: get out sooner if you can. But if you can't

692
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 2: and they do punch you out, I bet anything you

693
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 2: can survive for one to do months, whether it's couch

694
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 2: surfing or staying in crappy hotels or sleep in your car,

695
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 2: you can last until September. Figure out what you'll do

696
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 2: if they do punch you out. If you know you

697
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 2: can survive on your own, they can't threaten you effectively.

698
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 2: The stuff about them using your social Security number scares me.

699
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 2: I've heard that people who had their identity stolen can

700
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 2: sometimes spend years trying to fight their bad credit scores.

701
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 2: Start collecting documentation. Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

702
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 2: Keep any text or notes they've written where they say

703
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 2: they're going to use your credit or social Security number

704
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 2: or anything else relevant. Start writing them notes, emails, texts,

705
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 2: and as follow ups to your verbal conversations. I think

706
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 2: you should talk to a lawyer a SAP to figure

707
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 2: out how to prevent them from stealing your identity, though

708
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 2: I don't know how they could go about it. Good luck, Opie.

709
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 2: Opie says, CouchSurfing is a tad bit hard to do,

710
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 2: as I moved to a new town where I know

711
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 2: no one. Living in my car would be easy if

712
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 2: it was just that my car. It's my car in

713
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 2: their name. My plan is to move out by September

714
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 2: with my SOO lives upstate. He's got the place lined

715
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 2: up and I've been sending him money to aid him

716
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 2: in the process. I have a job lined up already,

717
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 2: so it's just a matter of us getting our own place.

718
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 2: And there is an update. But if you can, like

719
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: live with your SOO for like a month, hopefully you

720
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 2: know that's maybe that's the movie you send it in

721
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 2: money for. I'm confused, is to buy the place I

722
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 2: think they renovating itators.

723
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 4: It's like because it sounds like it's like I don't

724
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 4: know that that means my eye rows grow up. And

725
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 4: I'm hoping that your s O is not just taking

726
00:32:55,560 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 4: your money. But definitely, if if your parents are throwing

727
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 4: around the idea that they're going to like use your

728
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 4: information to get a house, get a microphone, record a

729
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 4: conversation and be like, hey, I don't know if I'm

730
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 4: cool with you guys doing this stuff with my information,

731
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 4: and then just record their responses to everything so that

732
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 4: you can cover yourself absolutely.

733
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 2: There is an update. I had a talk with both

734
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 2: parents and sat them down and voiced my concerns again

735
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 2: and told them that they will not and cannot use

736
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 2: my credit I know they have scanned copies of my card.

737
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 2: So when they said they could do it regardless and

738
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 2: that they could do what they want and if I

739
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: don't like it, I can pack my crap and leave,

740
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: I got a bit more testiny. I told them, if

741
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: you can use my social Security number on anything, of

742
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 2: yours and damage my future and my potential to be

743
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 2: a good citizen. I'll throw you both in federal peditentiary.

744
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 2: Regardless they seemed dumbstruck. I told them that it was

745
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 2: my identity and my privilege and responsibility to make sure

746
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 2: that my credit is taken care of and that no

747
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 2: problems are incurred because of their inability to refrain themselves,

748
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 2: I know now that this would be a case of

749
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 2: identity theft even if they were just borrowing my credit,

750
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 2: so I made sure to read up slash print out

751
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 2: my state laws to let them read for themselves what

752
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 2: they were up against. Yeah, it's been silent in now

753
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 2: since they seem dumbfounded. No threat to punt me out,

754
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: no anything, just silence. I know my dad is currently

755
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,840
Speaker 2: preparing to fly off the handle. However, I know that

756
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 2: it hasn't occurred yet. As a safety precaution, I did

757
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 2: call and get my credit frozen. I realized that this

758
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 2: means I'll have to unfreeze it later when I want

759
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 2: to apply for credit cards. And the company went through

760
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 2: a full disclosure with me and my credit is untouchable. Cool.

761
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:41,800
Speaker 2: I'm very thankful to all of you for your wonderful

762
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: contributions and words. It means a lot that I can

763
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: turn to this community in what seems like a hopeless

764
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 2: and desperate situation and turn my life stress into knowledge.

765
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 2: So thanks guys. And comment one, your parents are clearly

766
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:58,919
Speaker 2: extremely naive and ignorant about financial matters. True, but it's

767
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 2: never too late to learn untrue, And they're only in

768
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 2: their early forties. They have decades of productive working life

769
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 2: to turn their situation around. Okay, well, to be fair,

770
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 2: that is true.

771
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 4: But I think given this the context of this story,

772
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 4: I don't feel like they're going to change at all. Yeah,

773
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,879
Speaker 4: I could go into my financial boxes thing.

774
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just gonna read this one last comment and

775
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 2: then we can get into it. Yeah, Obie says, what's

776
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 2: sad is in twenty years, my dad should be able

777
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 2: to retire, but he can't because he's spent his retirement.

778
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 2: They don't even own a home. And there is an

779
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:33,920
Speaker 2: update by thoughts gambling question Mark would be spending all

780
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 2: of this money that they need to literally steal your

781
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 2: credit card. I want you or your credit I mean

782
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 2: all our listeners and watchers.

783
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 4: I want you to think about your financials as a box, right,

784
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 4: your all the money that you make is a box.

785
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 2: It can be bigger box advice that he likes to

786
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 2: give smaller.

787
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,919
Speaker 4: But if you're if you find that you're using all

788
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 4: of the space in your financial box, that's that's a

789
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 4: bad thing. You want to have like a corner. You

790
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 4: want like a fourth of your financial box.

791
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 2: Imagine that you would be free the little blu ray

792
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,840
Speaker 2: box banging around in that box.

793
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 4: Right, Yes, exactly common issues when people who were in

794
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 4: a small box and their financial box gets way bigger,

795
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 4: they then try to fill up that whole box instead

796
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,319
Speaker 4: of still just taking up part of it, which yes,

797
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 4: just don't take up your whole financial box.

798
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, but we got an update. My parents

799
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 2: were horribly irresponsible with money, growing up too many credit cards.

800
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 2: They took out a second mortgage on their home, but

801
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: they filed for bankruptcy because my father no longer wanted

802
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 2: to be there, as he feels the house is cursed

803
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 2: by my mother's transgressions. Working where he did, he could

804
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 2: have marched out of debt, although it would have taken

805
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 2: a while. The house was worth ninety K. They owed

806
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 2: about one hundred and thirty kre day, being forty grand

807
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 2: upside down on your house. Ooh, that feels bad. However,

808
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 2: he just decided to quit paying everything and so we

809
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 2: were evicted. Oh it got a pretty great chunk of

810
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 2: change after fileing bankruptcy, almost ten K. Yeah, totally worth it.

811
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 2: And they spent it all on absolutely frivolous things. They

812
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 2: paid off some credit card debt, but Dad wanted to

813
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 2: fix up his sixty eight super be and mom wanted

814
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 2: to buy clothes. This woman drives me nuts, by the way,

815
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 2: tells us we're too poor for groceries, but things the

816
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 2: kids wanted one year, even school supplies. In my entire

817
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 2: high school career, I had one backpack, but she had

818
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 2: clothes being sent to her weekly. That's a problem. That's

819
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: a real big problem. And with all this money they've

820
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 2: had over the years, no college funds, no trust funds,

821
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 2: spent their four oh one k's, they basically effed up

822
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 2: their lives and now want my brother and I to

823
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: work hard and pay for them, pour them out of

824
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 2: debt while sitting on their button doing nothing. I don't

825
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 2: think so. There are also times that they get so

826
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,840
Speaker 2: mad at us kids that they banish us from eating

827
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 2: in the house. And if they caught us, mostly my dad.

828
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 2: They pour the food on the ground in front of

829
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 2: us and make us clean it up. Why what they're awful? What? Also,

830
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 2: when I was seventeen, I got in a car accident,

831
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,800
Speaker 2: and even though I wasn't hurt, they pursued two thousand

832
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 2: dollars and since I was seventeen, I couldn't do anything

833
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 2: about it. They put the money in their bank account

834
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 2: and I never saw it. Yeah.

835
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 4: Where it's like they were gonna which is fair. If

836
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 4: you're in a car accident, you should usually litigate. Yeah,

837
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 4: But so they definitely took the money that should have

838
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 4: been yours.

839
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 2: The confrontation happened. It was very heated on both sides,

840
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 2: with neither of us budging. It instantly became you're abandoning us.

841
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 6: You won't even help your sick mother. We need you

842
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 6: read your Bible. God would not want this. Yes, they

843
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 6: pulled the dang Bible card, another major hypocrisy of theirs.

844
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 6: After dodging all of their emotional advances with things like

845
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,919
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna sink like the both of you did,

846
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 6: and I'm not abandoning you.

847
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,880
Speaker 2: I'm keeping my life in order, came the hurricane that

848
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 2: is my father. Ah at first two was I carried

849
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 2: you when you were eighteen and didn't have a job.

850
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 2: I've always had this weight on my shoulders. I want

851
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: eight hundred dollars a month of her rent, or you

852
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 2: can get your crap and get out. You need to

853
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 2: stop just respecting me, Or I'm gonna have your cell

854
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 2: phone shut off. Yes, my cell phone is on their bill,

855
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 2: but I pay them fifty five dollars a month to

856
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 2: keep mine on. But even NAD is getting shut off

857
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 2: because they've swindled all their money. Again, I told them

858
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 2: I'm getting straight talk, and they told me they'd small

859
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 2: claims court me for the two hundred dollars deactivation fee.

860
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 2: I said, go ahead, as far as eight hundred dollars

861
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 2: a month. I barely make nine hundred dollars a month

862
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 2: my cell phone, gas, everything. It's too unrealistic, So I

863
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 2: told them i'd be moving out. Then Dad got on

864
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 2: the defensive again about how a horrible daughter. Mom was crying,

865
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 2: begging me to help because I'm her best friend. The

866
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 2: hospital stay is messed with their head significantly. Apparently I'm

867
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,919
Speaker 2: a piece of crap, a witch, a no good sea

868
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 2: word with my life going nowhere with such wonderful compliments,

869
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 2: I'd have to help them out right, How could you

870
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,280
Speaker 2: not feel an urge to help those people? Yeah, they're lovely.

871
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 2: Come on, your best friend, She's like, I'm your best friend.

872
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 2: He's like, what, you're besties? Your little seaword ella. Well

873
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,319
Speaker 2: that's the best college. And you need me because you're

874
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 2: so pathetic you're a loser. Yeah, truly a weird way

875
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 2: to go about this. Thanks mom here, I mean bestie,

876
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 2: I mean mom, bestie.

877
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 4: Thanks.

878
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 2: So I packed my things, which wasn't too hard of

879
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 2: a task, and I put in my two weeks notice

880
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 2: with my boss. They threatened to sell my car, and

881
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,319
Speaker 2: at this point I don't care. Pretty sure that's illegal. Yeah,

882
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 2: I live two hours away from my home down so

883
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 2: I'll go there until my boyfriend has a stable apartment

884
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 2: up north. Cool. By the way, you can have a

885
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 2: stable life if you listen to full episodes of stories

886
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: just like that. Only you do that only that way.

887
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 2: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeart Radio and

888
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:45,839
Speaker 2: search a Pocus storytime. But there is a little bit

889
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 2: more to this story. Ooh boy, your parents suck, and

890
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 2: I think that you have to limit and maybe go

891
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 2: no contact with them, because uh wow, they're trying to

892
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 2: destroy your life. They're trying to drag you down with them.

893
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 4: Evidence evidence, evidence, evidence, evidence evidence. Get a recording of

894
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 4: them saying they want to do all this stuff. Yeah,

895
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 4: get a recording of them saying that they're going to

896
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 4: steal your personal information and use it to open up

897
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 4: lines of credit.

898
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 2: You need this information to streamline the process. Agreed, But

899
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 2: there's a little bit left to the story. Overall, hilarious

900
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 2: talk with every self absorbed person, belittle in comment they

901
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 2: could throw at me to hurt me. The thing is,

902
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: I've watched them pile themselves into credit card debt, mortgage debt.

903
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 2: I've seen two cars get repossessed. I've watched them walk

904
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 2: out on two homes and they can't afford this one.

905
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 2: There's no way, and heck I'm gavin. They need the

906
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 2: reality check. So thank you Reddit for all your great advice.

907
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 2: I'm currently living in my car outside of the house

908
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 2: just to keep the peace. My brother leaves my bedroom

909
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 2: unlocked so I can come in late at night to

910
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,840
Speaker 2: take a shower. Overall, very stressful, but for the best.

911
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,959
Speaker 2: At least your brother's on your side.

912
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,439
Speaker 4: Also, so if you're worried that your parents are gonna

913
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 4: like fly off the handle or something like. I know

914
00:41:56,560 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 4: in the States there's YMCA, yeah that you can go,

915
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 4: like they have shower services that you can use and stuff.

916
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 4: I think it's me like for a small fear or something,

917
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 4: but there's public, public accommodations that can be available.

918
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 2: I just wouldn't be hanging around.

919
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 4: I'd be worried that Like I'm going for a shower

920
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 4: and Dad comes out, like I don't know, puts like

921
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 4: a you know, shoves bananas in my gas tank or something.

922
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 4: I don't know, Like I feel like, isn't that bad?

923
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 4: What's the one where well, I don't. I guess we

924
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 4: should say what you don't want to put in the

925
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 4: gas tank, but just don't put anything in the gainst.

926
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 3: Ye, don't put anything put gas in the gas.

927
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 2: Shut up, folks. Uh. That's the end of that story.

928
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 4: My sister riff uses to respect my sleep schedule.

929
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 2: I reached my breaking point. He needs her beauty sleep people.

930
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 4: I'll give some background information in bullet points. I am

931
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 4: the middle of three sisters. This is regarding my younger sister.

932
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 4: She got married as a teenager and had two children

933
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 4: with a bad husband who cheated on her multiple times.

934
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 4: Said husband is passing away of care. By the way,

935
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 4: this I'm from user SBWVO nine and if you want

936
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

937
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 4: Okay storytime subrendit.

938
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 2: I am newly married.

939
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 4: We were living abroad, but decided to come back for

940
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 4: multiple reasons, one of which was to help out both

941
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,320
Speaker 4: of my sisters, who are essentially single mothers. My husband

942
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 4: is a foreign national and has no other family or

943
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 4: friends here besides us. My parents practically begged us to

944
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 4: live with them until my husband finds a job and

945
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 4: we know where we need to live. I'm currently working

946
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 4: at a central location, so where my husband finds work

947
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,839
Speaker 4: would impact where it is feasible to live.

948
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 2: We could probably.

949
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 4: Afford to live in an apartment on my salary alone,

950
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,959
Speaker 4: but it would be tight. Okay, So we've been back

951
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,400
Speaker 4: in the country for less than a month. Although I

952
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 4: was ready to leave my previous situation, I wasn't super

953
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,879
Speaker 4: thrilled about moving back to small town Bible belt Land,

954
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 4: but there were many upsides to it, and I hoped

955
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,760
Speaker 4: it would balance out the downsides. I should also mention.

956
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,760
Speaker 3: That I am child free, and I have never wanted children.

957
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 4: While I do love my nieces and nephews, I don't

958
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 4: have patience for young children who misbehave. Nobody really makes

959
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,920
Speaker 4: my niece and nephew mind their manners. They go wherever

960
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 4: in the house they want, do whatever they want to do.

961
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,359
Speaker 4: They scream at the top of their lungs all the time,

962
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 4: and are very demanding and generally spoiled. I realized that

963
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 4: their parents or caretakers are to blame for this and

964
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 4: not them. But even so, my husband and I have

965
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 4: spent almost every day that we have been back helping

966
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 4: out with those kids. My husband spent hours downloading games

967
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 4: that my nephew wanted. We took them out to eat

968
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 4: and to the game room, and we watched them for

969
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 4: hours every day. Did I mention that my sister supposedly

970
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 4: isn't even living here. Out of the twenty or so

971
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 4: days we've been back, they have slept over for ten.

972
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,880
Speaker 4: She always has some reason, like the road she lives

973
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,439
Speaker 4: up is too slick, or her hot water doesn't work,

974
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 4: blah blah blah blah blah. I realize that it's horrible

975
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 4: that her husband and their father is passing away of

976
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 4: the big Sea. I have nothing but compassion for that,

977
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 4: but I also feel like she's taking advantage. Her behavior

978
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 4: has always been like this. As soon as she had

979
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:54,759
Speaker 4: the children, she always called my parents to watch them

980
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 4: while she did something. Whenever I was visiting, I haven't

981
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 4: lived at home since I was eighteen, she always tried

982
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 4: to guilt me into watching them as well. Like I said,

983
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 4: I knew we would be helping with childcare, but it

984
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 4: has been almost constant since we got back, and honestly,

985
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 4: there is no reason for it. They have school, they

986
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 4: have a nanny who babysits them regularly. She just feels

987
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 4: like coming here so she can watch TV while my

988
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:20,240
Speaker 4: husband and I and my parents run after her children.

989
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:23,240
Speaker 4: I should also mention that both my husband and myself

990
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 4: are experienced educators, and these children are very malagested.

991
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 2: In terms of behavior and expectations.

992
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 4: I had actually hoped that my husband and I could

993
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 4: help out with that, and we were already trying to

994
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 4: teach them to knock on doors before opening, and using

995
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 4: indoor voices instead of screaming all the time, et cetera. Anyway,

996
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,240
Speaker 4: I have a long commute and my job starts early,

997
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 4: so I have to wake up at five am on workdays.

998
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 4: Everyone in the house knows this. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop

999
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 4: my sister or my father from bringing the kids upstairs

1000
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:53,319
Speaker 4: to play at ten, eleven or even twelve at night.

1001
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,439
Speaker 2: They played baseball in my parents'.

1002
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 4: Room, slam doors, laugh and scream at the top of

1003
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 4: their lungs, et cetera.

1004
00:45:58,760 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: Needless to say, it.

1005
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 4: Is literally impossible for me to sleep if they're upstairs.

1006
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 4: Since nobody has taught them proper behavior in terms of

1007
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 4: indoor versus outdoor, there is no such thing as quietly

1008
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,720
Speaker 4: playing with them. Last night, I was at my breaking point.

1009
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,360
Speaker 4: They have been here since Thursday and I haven't.

1010
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,280
Speaker 2: Had a good night's sleep that entire time.

1011
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 4: My husband was frustrated as well, and I felt upset

1012
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 4: that I had brought him to my country and he

1013
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 4: had to exist in this way. Earlier that day, I

1014
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 4: had expressed my frustrations to my mother and asked my

1015
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 4: sister if they could stay with their nanny that night,

1016
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 4: but they both brushed me off. My mother's suggestion was

1017
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 4: to shut yourself up in your bedroom after being awoken

1018
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 4: by screams at eleven pm on a school night. I

1019
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 4: was actually in tears from fatigue, anger, and frustration. I

1020
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 4: texted my sister stating that it was a school night

1021
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 4: for both myself and the kids, and that I had

1022
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 4: to wake up at five am, and I thought that

1023
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:50,320
Speaker 4: it was late for her kids.

1024
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 2: To be up and playing loudly. She didn't bother to reply.

1025
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 4: After that, I was getting up and my husband asked

1026
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,440
Speaker 4: where I was going. I said I was going to

1027
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 4: tell my sister exactly what I thought of her rude, spoiled, inconsiderate,

1028
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 4: et cetera. He asked me to stop and said he

1029
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 4: would talk to her calmly. He wanted to try to

1030
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 4: resolve the situation without anger and conflict. W that's the

1031
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,319
Speaker 4: best way to resolve situations.

1032
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 2: Yes, it is in the absence of anger and conflict.

1033
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 2: This wait a sec, just peace.

1034
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 5: If you feel angry, just like, take a sec in

1035
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 5: the cool off and then you could talk about it.

1036
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 2: Best way to go.

1037
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 4: The house has thin walls, and the conversation took place

1038
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 4: in the next room, so I was able to hear

1039
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,399
Speaker 4: it all. My husband had a very calm and non

1040
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 4: condescending tone of voice throughout. He literally said, sister in law,

1041
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 4: you know that Sbwvo nine and I are looking for

1042
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 4: a new place, and we'll move out as soon as

1043
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 4: we can. Until then, could you please keep the kids

1044
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 4: downstairs if they're going to be screaming and playing loudly

1045
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 4: past ten pm? Because Op has to get her rest

1046
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 4: for work. I didn't hear a reply and assume she

1047
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 4: just walked away to deal with her kids. My husband

1048
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,800
Speaker 4: returned and assumed that it was all okay. What happened

1049
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 4: next was completely shocking. I'm trying to fall asleep again.

1050
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,240
Speaker 4: It's eleven thirty by this time, when my phone starts

1051
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 4: blowing up with texts. My sister wrote, if you had

1052
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 4: something to say to me, you should have said it.

1053
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 4: Don't send your husband to talk to me. He has

1054
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 4: no right to talk to me like that. You and

1055
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:10,840
Speaker 4: your husband had better not speak to me or my

1056
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 4: children ever again. You lost a sister tonight.

1057
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 5: You lost a sister.

1058
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

1059
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 4: I'm sorry what I didn't reply right away since I

1060
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 4: didn't check my messages the first few times the phone buzzed,

1061
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:26,280
Speaker 4: so she sent several replies of what you can't text?

1062
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,359
Speaker 4: What are you scared of me? I was very hurt

1063
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:30,879
Speaker 4: and shocked, but chose to ignore the message. I really

1064
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 4: needed some sleep and figured she might get over this

1065
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:35,920
Speaker 4: by herself the next morning. Then my mom started calling

1066
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 4: my cell phone. I didn't answer because I need sleep.

1067
00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 4: Then she blew up my phone with text saying that

1068
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 4: I made my sister cry and I hurt my relationship

1069
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 4: with her because I allowed my husband to speak to

1070
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 4: her like that quote unquote. Again, I heard the entire exchange,

1071
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 4: and he didn't say anything mean or disrespectful to her

1072
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 4: at all. I'm crying at this point because I'm so hurt, astonished,

1073
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 4: and frustrated. My husband decides to text my mother, saying

1074
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 4: he was only trying to resolve the situation without anger,

1075
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 4: since I was feeling very hurt and disrespected that I

1076
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 4: wasn't being allowed to sleep in my own home, which

1077
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 4: is beside the point that the kids had school the

1078
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 4: next morning as well. He also reminded them that we

1079
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 4: came back to help with the kids and spent most

1080
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 4: of our time here so far doing just that, and

1081
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 4: that they should realize the sacrifice that I made to

1082
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 4: help them, and that with everything they ask of us,

1083
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 4: it was strange that a very simple, reasonable request of

1084
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 4: ours would be met with hostility. After this, I received

1085
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 4: a Facebook message from my sister. She had read the

1086
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 4: message my husband sent my mother. She then proceeded to

1087
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 4: say the meanest, most cold hearted things to me. She wrote,

1088
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 4: with every intention of hurting me as much as possible,

1089
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:40,240
Speaker 4: insulting my past mistakes, my spicy related harmful act experiences,

1090
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 4: insulting my appearance, etc.

1091
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,279
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna pause right here. WHOA. I mean, what's

1092
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:46,800
Speaker 2: your playbook in this situation?

1093
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 5: Like?

1094
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,360
Speaker 2: What do you do? Yes?

1095
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 4: Because I have mine, but I just would like to

1096
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,240
Speaker 4: know what yours is. I would probably cry.

1097
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 5: I don't know, that'd probably be my first thing that

1098
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 5: I would do.

1099
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1100
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 5: I just I've dealt with some people before where they

1101
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 5: just they do that that in conversations or arguments. They

1102
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 5: just bring up the past and just attack you with it,

1103
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 5: or just try to bring up insults just to get

1104
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 5: you and I stop being friends with them. But this

1105
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 5: is your family a little different. So I honestly don't

1106
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 5: know what I would do. What would you do?

1107
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 4: Here's what I'm doing. Sister text me, Oh, that's that's wild. Well,

1108
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 4: I'm gonna get some sleep, okay. Mom calls me, Oh

1109
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 4: that's wild. Boop boop, turning phone off yep, sending me

1110
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 4: texts be boo, Wow, I'm not reading that. I disengage.

1111
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 4: Dis engage smart Smart. You can only bite if there's

1112
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 4: two sides, you just refuse to try. You know, it's

1113
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 4: easier said than done. We're emotional creatures. But like, just be,

1114
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,719
Speaker 4: I'm don't entertain it. Yeah, because it is true.

1115
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:50,359
Speaker 2: You're watching their kids and they're doing this.

1116
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,280
Speaker 4: It's just like I'm gonna start like opening my door

1117
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 4: and screaming.

1118
00:50:54,320 --> 00:51:00,840
Speaker 5: Go down, so sleep, stink bomb, get them out of

1119
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 5: the upstairs area that I'd probably suck for you Be,

1120
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 5: you gotta do what you gotta do, sacrifices.

1121
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 4: My sister claimed I was putting up a front to

1122
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 4: impress my husband.

1123
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 2: My husband knows me to my core. He knows every

1124
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 2: true thing about me.

1125
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 4: We have absolutely no secrets, and he sure as heck

1126
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,400
Speaker 4: knows me better than any of them do. She restated

1127
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 4: that I had lost a sister that night and that

1128
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 4: I was passed.

1129
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 2: Away to her again.

1130
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 4: This was all over a request that her school age

1131
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 4: children not scream at the top of their lungs at

1132
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 4: eleven pm on a school night. My sister blocked me

1133
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,360
Speaker 4: it from Facebook after writing that message.

1134
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:28,800
Speaker 2: Classy.

1135
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 4: I then messaged my mom stating that if my sister

1136
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 4: wanted to remove myself and my husband from their lives,

1137
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 4: that it was her choice, not mine. I also stated

1138
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 4: that my mother's words and actions made it clear that

1139
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 4: they have chosen which daughter they want involved in their lives,

1140
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 4: and that I would be moving out as soon as

1141
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 4: we could find an apartment. My general thought is that

1142
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 4: my sister is being extremely childish and unreasonable, and that

1143
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 4: I'm actually better off without her in my life. That

1144
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,720
Speaker 4: uh so, she never once thanked us for spending several

1145
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,320
Speaker 4: days with her children, including taking them to game rooms

1146
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 4: and movies, and paying for several meals. She just expects

1147
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 4: everyone around her to do these things for her, and

1148
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 4: a simple request from my end has apparently led her

1149
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:06,280
Speaker 4: to believe I'm not worth having in her life anymore.

1150
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 4: I'm thinking that it's probably better this way, that I

1151
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,799
Speaker 4: don't need these toxic people in my life, even if

1152
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 4: they are my family.

1153
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:14,320
Speaker 2: On the other hand, it hurts reddit they are my family.

1154
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:16,959
Speaker 4: I spent thousands of dollars and a lot of time

1155
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:19,919
Speaker 4: and stress to bring my husband and myself home to them.

1156
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 2: If I had known that asking her kids to be

1157
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 2: quiet would rob me of my parents and sibling. I

1158
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 2: would have just endured it.

1159
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 4: Never in my wildest imagination could I have pictured it

1160
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 4: playing out like this. I've tried to think about if

1161
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 4: I did actually do something wrong, maybe it would have

1162
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 4: been better to have a sisterly fight about it instead

1163
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 4: of having my husband speak to her calmly. But I'm

1164
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 4: not sure. Honestly, am I missing something. I've honestly tried

1165
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 4: to portray the events the way they happened. I'm not

1166
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 4: trying to paint myself as a saint or anything. I'm

1167
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,240
Speaker 4: not patient with young children, even though I do try

1168
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 4: to help them. I just feel like I've given a

1169
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 4: lot to her and those kids already, and all she

1170
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 4: wants is more and more and more. I feel like

1171
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 4: if I apologize, then she will feel like it is

1172
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,320
Speaker 4: okay to let her children act that way and expect

1173
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 4: everyone else to accommodate them.

1174
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 2: And their desires.

1175
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:05,280
Speaker 4: I realized this was extremely long, and I'm very grateful

1176
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 4: to anyone who reads it through.

1177
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,399
Speaker 2: So what do you think I should do? And there

1178
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 2: is an edit?

1179
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 3: I should also mention that my work was canceled at

1180
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:14,760
Speaker 3: the last minute today due to weather. After I arrived

1181
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,919
Speaker 3: at the end of a forty mile commute, by the way,

1182
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 3: and that's why I'm around to read replies.

1183
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 2: Anyway, we have some comments here.

1184
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 4: If you already have the funds to move out, move out,

1185
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,400
Speaker 4: even if it's a stretch, Find a temporary place, go

1186
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:29,080
Speaker 4: to a motel for God's sake, do whatever, but remove

1187
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,399
Speaker 4: yourself and then they'll go, oh, my god, they were

1188
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 4: taking care of our kids that I.

1189
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 2: Have to take care of now. Yeah, honestly, that'll be

1190
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 2: a wake up call.

1191
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, they'll realize how much they miss you once once

1192
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:39,879
Speaker 5: you're gone.

1193
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 2: I wouldn't.

1194
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 4: I wouldn't, I wouldn't. You know, she says, you no

1195
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:45,839
Speaker 4: longer have a sister. Fine, I don't have a sister

1196
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 4: until you reach out to me and you're like, hey,

1197
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 4: I was an complete idiot for that. I'm so sorry,

1198
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 4: and I should have appreciated you for what you did. Yeah,

1199
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 4: until then, you know it is true that it is

1200
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,800
Speaker 4: your sister and it hurts, but that it is probably

1201
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 4: better that you don't have this person as like a

1202
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 4: force holding power over you in your life. Rightether be

1203
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 4: emotional or financial or familial or whatever. Right, just like,

1204
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 4: let her take yourself out of your life. Fine, my

1205
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:11,760
Speaker 4: sister's gone.

1206
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 2: Right, remember me? Did they have a conversation in person

1207
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:16,240
Speaker 2: at all? It was the text stuff.

1208
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 3: OHP is like, oh, I'm about to let her have it.

1209
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1210
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 4: Op's husband goes, let me just talk to her, right,

1211
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 4: I'll keep it calm, right, husband talks to her.

1212
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:26,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like, how dare you have your husband

1213
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 2: talk to me? You're dead to me.

1214
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 5: I feel like I feel like since this whole blow up, like, oh,

1215
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 5: you're dead to me? Thing like, I think we need

1216
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 5: another conversation in person, just being like okay, well, like

1217
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 5: what is actually going on? Like this isn't I don't

1218
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 5: apologize because you have nothing to apologize for, but just

1219
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:45,759
Speaker 5: like just being like, what's going on, what's going on?

1220
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 2: This isn't what was meant by it.

1221
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 5: I'm not sorry by it because it's not what was

1222
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 5: meant by it, you know, and just talk about it

1223
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 5: in person before you go like no contact or something

1224
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 5: like that.

1225
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 2: That's a that's a big jump.

1226
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 5: But but yeah, I mean, at least some time away,

1227
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 5: I think you could do all of that, have a conversation,

1228
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 5: go to a motel, distance yourself, maybe not take care

1229
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 5: of the kids. For a little bit and then they'll

1230
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:06,960
Speaker 5: see how they like it.

1231
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,799
Speaker 2: But we do have some comments here alright, look get

1232
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:10,359
Speaker 2: into the ros.

1233
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 4: Why the heck are young children at that age even

1234
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:16,280
Speaker 4: up at eleven or ten pm? That's just crazy. Maybe

1235
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 4: in time they will both come around, but I think

1236
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 4: the way your husband handled it was fine. At least

1237
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 4: you'll be able to sleep, let the emotions die down

1238
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 4: a bit, and try to approach them. The reality is

1239
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,839
Speaker 4: your sister will reach out, if only to get more

1240
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 4: free babysitting. For now, do nothing and wait it out.

1241
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 4: I suspect your poor husband was just as frustrated as you.

1242
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 4: It sounds like you are the responsible one and your

1243
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 4: sister has issues for some reason your mother cannot see it.

1244
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 2: Op says.

1245
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:41,759
Speaker 4: I am by no means perfect, but I am just

1246
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 4: astonished that this all resulted from a request for quiet

1247
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 4: upstairs after ten pm. As you said, they should be

1248
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 4: in bed long before that, particularly on a school night. Also,

1249
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:53,240
Speaker 4: the house is a rather large and the downstairs area

1250
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,840
Speaker 4: is bigger than most homes. I mainly posted to see

1251
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 4: if I was stupid or something and was missing something obvious,

1252
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:00,919
Speaker 4: but it doesn't seem that way.

1253
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,759
Speaker 2: My sister is the baby and always has been.

1254
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 4: We have all spent most of our lives doing what

1255
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 4: we could to make her life easier after living abroad

1256
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 4: for so long and going through some harsh realities. Myself,

1257
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 4: I'm finding myself less tolerant of that sort of thing.

1258
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 4: I think that someone's ranking in a family shouldn't depend

1259
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 4: on how often they're willing to be a work course.

1260
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 2: Thank you for your reply.

1261
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 4: We're going to get our own place as soon as

1262
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 4: possible and probably go no contact for a while. If

1263
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 4: they want to reach out to us at some point

1264
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:27,880
Speaker 4: in the future, so be it. If not, then they

1265
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 4: were never really my family. A reply to this says

1266
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,600
Speaker 4: from her response, it sounds like the anger and frustration

1267
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 4: wasn't really.

1268
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 2: About your request at all.

1269
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:36,840
Speaker 4: Rather, it sounds like she was taking out all the

1270
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 4: frustrations of her crappy life, like annoying kids, a crappy,

1271
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:43,800
Speaker 4: cheating and now dying husband. And I'm guessing she's already

1272
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 4: alienated most non family people in her life by now.

1273
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:49,240
Speaker 4: She might also be aware that you and your husband

1274
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 4: are probably going to have a better quality of life

1275
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 4: than she is, and that can be a difficult thing

1276
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,239
Speaker 4: to realize. I think she's freaking out because of the

1277
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 4: emotional stress of her situation and is inappropriately taking it

1278
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 4: out on you. Since your parents have enabled her behavior

1279
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 4: her entire life, they easily get sucked up in her

1280
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:08,399
Speaker 4: thrall and get confused and misdirected from what you've said.

1281
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 4: I do not believe they'd rather have her in their

1282
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,720
Speaker 4: life than you. In the meantime, I suggest you simply

1283
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:15,799
Speaker 4: don't engage with your sister, give her some time to

1284
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 4: get back to her Wits self righteous anger can fuel

1285
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 4: itself for quite a while. Another comment here says it

1286
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 4: sounds like you embarrassed her she couldn't control her children,

1287
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,440
Speaker 4: and you called her out on it and in her mind,

1288
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,200
Speaker 4: and now she is getting defensive because she feels like

1289
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 4: you're calling her a bad parent. Just a thought, richly,

1290
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know, like, if I'm the five

1291
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 4: year old staying up till eleven, I'm like.

1292
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 2: My parents are so cool, but in reality.

1293
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 4: Like my brain's probably not growing at the proper rate anymore,

1294
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:46,320
Speaker 4: or something like gotta give the kids sleep, absolutely, I

1295
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 4: gotta absolutely.

1296
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1297
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 5: Those are honestly some good comments, though I didn't think

1298
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 5: about her, just like kind of generally lashing out because

1299
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 5: of everything that's going on.

1300
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 2: It's certainly possible.

1301
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 5: It sounds like these are kind of problems anyway, Like

1302
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:01,880
Speaker 5: it seems like she's kind of slacking as a parent anyway.

1303
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 5: But then I guess then that would kind of morph

1304
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 5: into that second comment of being like embarrassed about it

1305
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:08,560
Speaker 5: and then you know, last year taking it.

1306
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:11,200
Speaker 2: Personally or like you're just a bad parent. My kids

1307
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 2: don't pay It was like they don't.

1308
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,600
Speaker 5: It's like no, well, because I feel like this request

1309
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 5: of Opie's husband is really just like a request that

1310
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:19,800
Speaker 5: like any of us could get if there's like, you know,

1311
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 5: a roommate falling asleep when everyone else is still having fun.

1312
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 5: You know, it's like it's like okay, like you guys

1313
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 5: are find can you just please go downstairs or just

1314
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 5: be a little quiet like that's fine.

1315
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 2: It's it's not like at am. Yeah, it's such a

1316
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 2: hard ask to do at a party, yeah, well at a

1317
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 2: whole party, yes, but people are just there, just a

1318
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 2: few of you hanging out, then you probably do it.

1319
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,320
Speaker 4: Coming number three sounds like you need to do the

1320
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 4: five am wake up call for the rest of the house.

1321
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 4: Wake the kids up really early, get them to wake

1322
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 4: up everyone else and then the kids will be tired

1323
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:48,920
Speaker 4: by nine pm and it's a win win.

1324
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:52,600
Speaker 2: And here we go. This is the update, folks.

1325
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 4: Her husband is in a facility located a few hours away.

1326
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 4: She goes to see him every other weekend, and my

1327
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 4: parents usually want her children at that time. Those weekends

1328
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:02,800
Speaker 4: were the only times the kids were around for the

1329
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:05,520
Speaker 4: past year or so until I moved back, which is

1330
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:08,520
Speaker 4: right when they started camping out here. My sister has

1331
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 4: her own house given to her rent free by her

1332
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 4: in laws. It's older and has some problems, which is

1333
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 4: her excuse for being here all the time lately. Yesterday,

1334
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 4: when believe it or not, my sister and her kids

1335
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 4: weren't here, I went to talk to my mother about

1336
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,919
Speaker 4: what happened. She didn't know anything about the nasty text

1337
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 4: that my sister had sent me, but she seemed offended

1338
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 4: that my husband had talked to her. My sister made

1339
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 4: it out like my husband was rude and offensive, which

1340
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 4: he was not. I heard the entire conversation. My mom

1341
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaker 4: then started in on me, calling me spoiled and selfish

1342
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 4: because I needed sleep. Mothers can function on only two

1343
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:37,919
Speaker 4: to three hours of sleep, so I know you can too,

1344
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:40,760
Speaker 4: was her reasoning. I went upstairs livid. Oh my gosh,

1345
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 4: it's just the same logic of like, well, you know what,

1346
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 4: when I was your age, I had a broken arm, right,

1347
00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:48,240
Speaker 4: so get over here, I'm gonna break that arm.

1348
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you'll be fine.

1349
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 4: You need to know if I did it, you must

1350
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:53,560
Speaker 4: do it, Yeah, because that's what's fair.

1351
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 5: That's just also a crazy clarification of like this actually

1352
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 5: like they hang out at this house a lot, trying

1353
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:02,840
Speaker 5: to move, but like they don't live together, Like this

1354
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 5: isn't even the sister's house.

1355
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 2: So because that's what it kind.

1356
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:07,520
Speaker 5: Of sounded like before when they were like we're gonna

1357
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 5: move out soon, you know, we're working on it, but

1358
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 5: like they don't even need like it's still your house,

1359
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 5: your rules, even though they lays.

1360
01:00:13,760 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 2: House, oh parents' house.

1361
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, then they're moving out once they get well, once

1362
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:19,960
Speaker 4: her partner gets like a full time position, and they're

1363
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 4: gonna figure out yeah move okay, well I think in

1364
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 4: the med Yeah, so they're playing with Grandpa upstairs at night.

1365
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not like you're like in the sister's house

1366
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 5: trying to demand things.

1367
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 2: You guys are both visitors here. This is a communal space. Yeah,

1368
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 2: this is a family space exactly.

1369
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 4: Anyway, my husband talked me down after that conversation with

1370
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:38,840
Speaker 4: my mom, and we both went downstairs together to talk

1371
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:40,760
Speaker 4: to her. He pointed out how much time and effort

1372
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 4: we have put into her kids, and how upset we

1373
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:46,280
Speaker 4: are by what happened. My mom actually apologized and said

1374
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 4: she wanted us to get along, but would no longer

1375
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 4: be involved in the peacemaking process. She wants us to

1376
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:54,480
Speaker 4: stay in the house and says she'd prefer it if

1377
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 4: my sister and her kids didn't spend so much time here,

1378
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 4: but she doesn't feel like she can say no. I

1379
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:02,280
Speaker 4: took my awesome guy out to dinner and did some errands.

1380
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 4: He returned later in the evening and saw my sister's

1381
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,640
Speaker 4: vehicle here again. She and my mother were in the

1382
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:09,840
Speaker 4: living room. The front door opens to the kitchen, where

1383
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:13,320
Speaker 4: the children were sitting. They greeted us shyly, not common

1384
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 4: for them, and my nephew asked my husband if we

1385
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:17,960
Speaker 4: hated them. We were shocked and said, of course not.

1386
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 4: Who would tell you that From the living room. My

1387
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:22,120
Speaker 4: sister screamed at them to come in there right away

1388
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 4: or they would be in trouble. Was so angry that

1389
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 4: I was shaking, But again, I knew that a confrontation

1390
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 4: at that time would be a huge blow up in

1391
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 4: front of the children, and I didn't want them to

1392
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 4: see that, so we went upstairs. I had a message

1393
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 4: from my older sister to call her, so I did.

1394
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:37,680
Speaker 4: My younger sister had spoken to my older sister earlier

1395
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:39,480
Speaker 4: in the day. Her version of events was that I

1396
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 4: sent my husband to yell at her and insult her,

1397
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 4: which is not true about the kids being too loud

1398
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 4: at eight pm, again, not eight pm past eleven pm.

1399
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 4: She didn't mention any of the insulting texts she sent,

1400
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 4: or the fact that I had talked to her earlier

1401
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 4: in the day and texted her before my husband went

1402
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:56,800
Speaker 4: to talk to her regarding the noise level. I sent

1403
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 4: my older sister the nasty text and other texts with

1404
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 4: the time stamp to prove that was that she was lying.

1405
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 2: Her point of view is that I should be.

1406
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 4: Offended, but I should also be the bigger person and

1407
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:08,280
Speaker 4: try to reconcile. I disagree, and I think that doing

1408
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 4: so would just validate her in her lies as well

1409
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:13,479
Speaker 4: as her disgusting manipulation of her children. And by the way,

1410
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 4: you can listen to not disgusting full episodes with stories

1411
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:21,919
Speaker 4: like this on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, wherever you listen

1412
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 4: to podcasts. All you have to do is search Okay

1413
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 4: storytime and that'll give you access to fifty nine days

1414
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:28,720
Speaker 4: worth of stories to listen to.

1415
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:33,480
Speaker 2: So much time in your head. Ten days away from

1416
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 2: the funny number.

1417
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:37,280
Speaker 4: We're almost there, and there is a little bit more

1418
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:38,600
Speaker 4: story left here.

1419
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 2: I also disagree with older.

1420
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 4: Sister telling Ope they need to reconcile, especially with the

1421
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 4: way that younger sister went about it. I think younger

1422
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:51,560
Speaker 4: sister fully needs to realize that unless she swallows her

1423
01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:55,360
Speaker 4: pride and admits that she was wrong and made a

1424
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 4: mistake and is sorry about the way she treated Ope,

1425
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:00,000
Speaker 4: she does.

1426
01:02:59,880 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 2: Not deserve reconciliation.

1427
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:03,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I mean, wouldn't that if she did that,

1428
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:07,720
Speaker 5: wouldn't that be reconciliation? Would Like if it's the younger sister, Yeah,

1429
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:10,040
Speaker 5: if the younger sister was like a bad If.

1430
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 4: The younger sister approaches and tries to reconcile, I agree, reconcile,

1431
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,840
Speaker 4: But older sister is trying to tell OP it's your

1432
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 4: job to go and reconcile the situation now.

1433
01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:22,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, exactly, Yeah, I agree with I think it's

1434
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:25,160
Speaker 5: definitely the younger sister. I think, like we were kind

1435
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:27,560
Speaker 5: of saying before, maybe OP can like start a conversation

1436
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 5: about it, but OP definitely shouldn't like apologize like that.

1437
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:34,560
Speaker 4: So yeah, I have respected my younger sister's wishes to

1438
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 4: never speak to her again and am happy to continue

1439
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:39,000
Speaker 4: to do so in the future. We are working hard

1440
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 4: to find a rental property asap, and my husband has

1441
01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:43,919
Speaker 4: a promising job prospect, so at least there's a little

1442
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 4: bit of good news. I honestly can't believe my sister

1443
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:48,439
Speaker 4: is behaving like this. When you travel abroad and spend

1444
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:50,240
Speaker 4: a lot of time away from home, you expect that

1445
01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 4: you'll that you will change.

1446
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:54,200
Speaker 2: It seems that she has changed too very much for

1447
01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 2: the worse. It is unfortunate, and that is the end

1448
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:59,560
Speaker 2: of that story. Wow, that is unfortunate. It's unfortunate.

1449
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 4: But there is a window there, you know, for her

1450
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,800
Speaker 4: to for her to repair that relationship. But it's up

1451
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 4: to your sister at this point where she is never

1452
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 4: going to learn or never going.

1453
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:08,800
Speaker 2: To change this behavior.

1454
01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, Sam, here og host.

1455
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:13,880
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to these stories, but here's

1456
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 1: three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1457
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 2: First, my brother said he felt ignored after I had

1458
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:22,919
Speaker 2: my medical procedure done. You must pay attention to him.

1459
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 2: He is the most important one I eighteen female, had

1460
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:29,800
Speaker 2: The doctor said I was a candidate for a high

1461
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:32,960
Speaker 2: functioning prosthetic, a bionic leg. It wasn't just cosmetic. It

1462
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:36,240
Speaker 2: would give me a shot at walking properly. Again, it's expensive,

1463
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 2: though the NHS covered some but not all. By the way,

1464
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:42,760
Speaker 2: this comes from Strange Ostrich nine seventeen, and if you

1465
01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:44,320
Speaker 2: want to spend your own stories, go to the r

1466
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:47,000
Speaker 2: slash Okay, storytime separ at it. That's when my mom

1467
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 2: stepped in. She said we could use part of a

1468
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:52,680
Speaker 2: savings fund she'd kept for emergencies and future needs, some

1469
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:56,000
Speaker 2: of which was apparently meant for my little brother, eleven male.

1470
01:04:56,120 --> 01:04:58,840
Speaker 2: He's neurodivergent and has always needed a bit more help.

1471
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:03,040
Speaker 2: He's smart and sweet, but also very emotionally intense. My

1472
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:06,200
Speaker 2: mom calls him her sunbeam, and honestly the house has

1473
01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 2: revolved around him my entire life. She helped me get

1474
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,920
Speaker 2: the prosthetic. It changed everything. It's not perfect, but it's

1475
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 2: given me a future. Now here's where things went sideways.

1476
01:05:16,720 --> 01:05:19,200
Speaker 2: Last week, my little brother had what my mom calls

1477
01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:22,080
Speaker 2: a bad emotional day. He told her he was sad

1478
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:25,160
Speaker 2: because everyone paid attention to me and I got a

1479
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:27,640
Speaker 2: robot leg and he didn't get anything. He said it

1480
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:31,120
Speaker 2: was unfair that I got something cool and expensive when

1481
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 2: he didn't. Instead of explaining the obvious that this wasn't

1482
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,959
Speaker 2: a gift, that it wasn't about fair, my mom sat

1483
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,439
Speaker 2: down and said, maybe she shouldn't have spent so much

1484
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:43,360
Speaker 2: on me without thinking of how it might affect him emotionally.

1485
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 2: I didn't know what to say. She said she regrets

1486
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 2: not waiting until he was old enough to understand that

1487
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:51,200
Speaker 2: he's very sensitive and I need to try and see

1488
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:53,880
Speaker 2: it from his side. And now I feel like the villain.

1489
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:56,240
Speaker 2: I didn't ask for any of this, So am I

1490
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:59,240
Speaker 2: the jerk for accepting a bionic leg knowing it came

1491
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:01,640
Speaker 2: from a fun My mom also set aside for my

1492
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:04,920
Speaker 2: younger brother and knowing he's hurt by it, because right

1493
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:07,520
Speaker 2: now I feel like I'm being punished for not passing away.

1494
01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:14,160
Speaker 2: And there are some comments, but obviously not your mom's crazy. Yeah,

1495
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:16,960
Speaker 2: so your mom's telling you to feel bad for her.

1496
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:20,000
Speaker 2: Get She made the choice. One, She made the choice, yeah,

1497
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:22,800
Speaker 2: to gift you that leg. Yes, she that was her

1498
01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 2: money spend. She made that choice, and you accepted because

1499
01:06:26,040 --> 01:06:30,000
Speaker 2: she gifted it to you and you like also needed it.

1500
01:06:30,120 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 2: Also yeah, also you need it, So don't feel bad

1501
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:35,440
Speaker 2: because you literally need it. Yeah. But also it's not

1502
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:38,000
Speaker 2: like you asked and begged her, which would be valid.

1503
01:06:38,480 --> 01:06:41,280
Speaker 2: But it's not like you were like demanding her that

1504
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:43,520
Speaker 2: she buy you this leg. She gifted it to you,

1505
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 2: and now she's like, well, you should feel bad for

1506
01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:48,080
Speaker 2: even needing it. No, absolutely not.

1507
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:52,280
Speaker 5: It's just kind of how money works sometimes. Sometimes you know,

1508
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:56,000
Speaker 5: you plan to have fun money for each kid set aside,

1509
01:06:56,040 --> 01:07:01,000
Speaker 5: and then turns out someone needs crazy leg minsive leg yeah,

1510
01:07:01,040 --> 01:07:03,960
Speaker 5: and like medical attention, so the money just has to

1511
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:04,400
Speaker 5: go to that.

1512
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 2: That's just how it is. Commoner one says, not the jerk,

1513
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 2: but your mom and brother are you miss some important

1514
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:12,000
Speaker 2: years because you freaking had kisser and you needed a

1515
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:14,760
Speaker 2: prosthetic to walk and do everything. I wonder if your

1516
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:16,480
Speaker 2: mom would change her tune if she had to carry

1517
01:07:16,520 --> 01:07:19,320
Speaker 2: you everywhere or push you around in a wheelchair. She'd

1518
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:21,960
Speaker 2: have to have your home more accessible and her vehicle.

1519
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:25,000
Speaker 2: Your brother is the golden child. Unfortunately, if you didn't

1520
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:27,200
Speaker 2: have the prosthetic and your brother made some comment about

1521
01:07:27,200 --> 01:07:30,000
Speaker 2: your leg, your mom would probably agree with that. There

1522
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:32,480
Speaker 2: is no winning in this situation. What does your mom

1523
01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:35,760
Speaker 2: consider an emergency? If it's not to pay your child's

1524
01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:38,640
Speaker 2: medical bills, then what is it for? If you're still

1525
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:41,160
Speaker 2: living with your mom and entitled brother. I hope you

1526
01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 2: get out soon. None of what happened is your fault,

1527
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:47,400
Speaker 2: and Opie says, I'm guessing for my little brother's emergencies.

1528
01:07:47,560 --> 01:07:50,360
Speaker 2: Commoner two says, not the jerk. Your mother is insane.

1529
01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:53,480
Speaker 2: You lost your leg short of losing a limb himself.

1530
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:55,960
Speaker 2: There is nothing your brother could suffer to compare. Your

1531
01:07:55,960 --> 01:08:00,120
Speaker 2: prosthetic isn't some expensive toy. It's a medical device that

1532
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,760
Speaker 2: allows you to walk, which you otherwise would not be

1533
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 2: able to do. Ask your brother if he wants to trade,

1534
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:08,120
Speaker 2: you can have the bionic lad provided he agrees to

1535
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:11,160
Speaker 2: have his own legs surgically removed. Opie says, I did,

1536
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 2: and he started crying. I can't stop laughing. Commenter three

1537
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,120
Speaker 2: says not the jerk Your mom is though, for not

1538
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,519
Speaker 2: talking to your little brother about why you deserve the

1539
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,719
Speaker 2: leg is. What isn't fair is that you got lost

1540
01:08:21,720 --> 01:08:24,080
Speaker 2: your leg and missed out on years of your life.

1541
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:26,599
Speaker 2: If you're in the UK, get away from your mom asap.

1542
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:30,799
Speaker 2: See what programs are available to you for education, trade, school, housing,

1543
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:33,880
Speaker 2: et cetera. And there is an update. Yesterday, I came

1544
01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:36,160
Speaker 2: home from work. I do a few shifts a week

1545
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:38,599
Speaker 2: at a local cafe to save for UNI. I had

1546
01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:42,320
Speaker 2: my prosthetic charging in my room on its dock, like

1547
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:46,479
Speaker 2: I always do. It's super delicate while charging because the

1548
01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:50,640
Speaker 2: joints are exposed and the internal circuits are vulnerable. I

1549
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:55,080
Speaker 2: found my brother in my room. He had unplugged the charger.

1550
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:58,080
Speaker 2: He was trying to make it move manually, bending the

1551
01:08:58,160 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 2: knee joint yanking the ankle around to see if it

1552
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:03,120
Speaker 2: would walk on its own. I yelled at him to stop,

1553
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:05,760
Speaker 2: but it was too late. The main knee motor made

1554
01:09:05,760 --> 01:09:09,880
Speaker 2: this awful grinding sound, and then the whole leg sagged

1555
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:13,599
Speaker 2: like a broken doll. He dropped it and ran downstairs crying.

1556
01:09:13,840 --> 01:09:17,880
Speaker 2: I just stood there holding the pieces. The leg is gone,

1557
01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:22,519
Speaker 2: totally gone. Those things aren't built for rough handling. They're expensive, sensitive,

1558
01:09:22,600 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 2: custom built to match my body. It's not something you

1559
01:09:25,960 --> 01:09:28,000
Speaker 2: can fix out a random shop. It has to go

1560
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:33,160
Speaker 2: back to the manufacturer. Repairs cost thousands. Even assuming it's preparable,

1561
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:37,240
Speaker 2: it'll take months. I went to my mom absolutely shattered,

1562
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:41,160
Speaker 2: thinking at least this she'd take seriously. She cried, hugged

1563
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:44,280
Speaker 2: my brother and said he didn't mean it, he's just curious.

1564
01:09:44,520 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 2: Then she told me, you need to be more understanding.

1565
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:49,839
Speaker 2: He's only eleven. It's not like he knows how important

1566
01:09:49,880 --> 01:09:52,840
Speaker 2: it was. Because you never explained how important it was.

1567
01:09:53,080 --> 01:09:56,000
Speaker 2: That's your fault, my dude. I honestly don't remember much

1568
01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:59,640
Speaker 2: after that. I just felt myself shutting down. No apology, no,

1569
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,559
Speaker 2: i'mised he'll fix it. I can't afford repairs on my own.

1570
01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:05,680
Speaker 2: The grant money is long gone. Insurance might cover some

1571
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:08,720
Speaker 2: of it maybe, but the deductible is massive, and my

1572
01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:12,240
Speaker 2: mom made it very very clear she won't be helping again.

1573
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:14,559
Speaker 2: I survived. I thought to be able to stand on

1574
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:16,760
Speaker 2: my own again, and now it's broken because an eleven

1575
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:18,840
Speaker 2: year old thought it looked fun and no one cares.

1576
01:10:18,960 --> 01:10:22,240
Speaker 2: So I guess that's my update relevant comments Op's location

1577
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:24,599
Speaker 2: so she could reach out to a hospital or program

1578
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,400
Speaker 2: that can help with replacing her prosthetic leg. Opie says,

1579
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:29,800
Speaker 2: I live in Scotland. Commoner one says, I'm gonna say

1580
01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:32,719
Speaker 2: all that needs to be said. You're a legal adult.

1581
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:37,120
Speaker 2: It's time to take legal action. Yeah, honestly, honestly, I

1582
01:10:37,200 --> 01:10:41,479
Speaker 2: mean she's you like you say, Hey, he destroyed my

1583
01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:44,479
Speaker 2: leg yea, and my mom won't help. How am I

1584
01:10:44,520 --> 01:10:45,320
Speaker 2: going to do anything?

1585
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:45,519
Speaker 5: No?

1586
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,559
Speaker 2: Commoner two says, Tell every day adult you know all

1587
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,280
Speaker 2: of them, each and every relative, every parent of a friend,

1588
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:53,880
Speaker 2: and get a lawyer. This is a very open and shutcase.

1589
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,639
Speaker 2: Your parents should have housing and renters insurance that will

1590
01:10:56,880 --> 01:10:59,760
Speaker 2: cover the replacement cost. I'm assuming you're on some sort

1591
01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 2: of an insurance plan you mentioned that. Call them and

1592
01:11:02,160 --> 01:11:04,400
Speaker 2: sick them on your parents and might be more insured

1593
01:11:04,439 --> 01:11:06,600
Speaker 2: than you think. But you need courts for this. This

1594
01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:09,000
Speaker 2: isn't my little brother knocked over the lego death Star.

1595
01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:11,479
Speaker 2: I spent two I spent two months putting together. This

1596
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:13,559
Speaker 2: is more along the lines of my brother stole my

1597
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:17,160
Speaker 2: car and wrecked it. It's major and legally your parents

1598
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:19,960
Speaker 2: are liable. Tell every day adult out there what happened.

1599
01:11:20,040 --> 01:11:22,439
Speaker 2: There's very non zero chance that your parents will get

1600
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:26,120
Speaker 2: read the Riot Act and shamed into actually parenting, and

1601
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:28,559
Speaker 2: an equally non zero chance you'll end up moving in

1602
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:30,920
Speaker 2: with an aunt or uncle or friend until you're able

1603
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:33,240
Speaker 2: to go to college. This is not small, It is

1604
01:11:33,320 --> 01:11:36,400
Speaker 2: not minor. The lies on your side. I paid taxes

1605
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:39,200
Speaker 2: to support a judicial system. Please use it. Report the

1606
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:43,160
Speaker 2: theft and vandalism to the police immediately. Commoner three says, legally,

1607
01:11:43,280 --> 01:11:46,160
Speaker 2: she just required to pay because her child broke it,

1608
01:11:46,240 --> 01:11:48,960
Speaker 2: even though she's your mom. That's destruction of property. It

1609
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,599
Speaker 2: was put up in a safe place. Unfortunately, getting her

1610
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:53,960
Speaker 2: to pay will be very hard. I don't know if

1611
01:11:53,960 --> 01:11:55,720
Speaker 2: it would make it worse. But if you were to

1612
01:11:55,800 --> 01:11:59,120
Speaker 2: somehow make a post public asking if anybody had any

1613
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:02,200
Speaker 2: ideas door help, not necessarily put them in a bad,

1614
01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:05,320
Speaker 2: negative light, but bring light to the situation, maybe the

1615
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:07,960
Speaker 2: actions on your mother will be for her to correct

1616
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:10,920
Speaker 2: the way he acts. But unfortunately I don't see it happening.

1617
01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:13,479
Speaker 2: And there is an update. Oh gosh, But before we

1618
01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:16,000
Speaker 2: get into that, Cheryl Emerson says, Opie should be telling

1619
01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:19,360
Speaker 2: everyone what happened. Her brother destroyed her expensive leg mom

1620
01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:22,760
Speaker 2: does not understand the seriousness of the situation and so on. Yeah,

1621
01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:24,920
Speaker 2: wrestling Mama says, the mom isn't going to be able

1622
01:12:24,960 --> 01:12:27,200
Speaker 2: to save him when he does this to someone else. Yeah,

1623
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:29,480
Speaker 2: I mean, like that's why you parents your children exactly.

1624
01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:32,360
Speaker 2: Do you have any thoughts before we jump into this update, Yeah,

1625
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:35,160
Speaker 2: I mean just agreeing with them. It's like, yeah, like

1626
01:12:35,439 --> 01:12:37,599
Speaker 2: maybe maybe if other.

1627
01:12:37,479 --> 01:12:39,559
Speaker 5: People hear about it and then they blow up at

1628
01:12:39,600 --> 01:12:43,439
Speaker 5: the mom, then maybe she'll finally start to realize like, yeah,

1629
01:12:43,479 --> 01:12:45,760
Speaker 5: oh yeah, maybe this is something that I can do

1630
01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:48,519
Speaker 5: something about it, or maybe OPI can like send her

1631
01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:55,360
Speaker 5: research about like having kids with neurodivergency. Yeah, just be like, hey, hey,

1632
01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:58,439
Speaker 5: you absolutely can talk to them about difficult things. You

1633
01:12:58,479 --> 01:13:01,599
Speaker 5: can't just like, you know, baby them their entire life

1634
01:13:01,600 --> 01:13:03,400
Speaker 5: because eleven is getting older.

1635
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:06,960
Speaker 2: It else, yeah, getting older, got it gotta it's it's

1636
01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:11,000
Speaker 2: doing your child a disservice if you do not prepare

1637
01:13:11,040 --> 01:13:13,760
Speaker 2: them for life. Obviously, there are kids who are in

1638
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:16,559
Speaker 2: a nerdivergent who will never be able to live alone. Sure,

1639
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:21,240
Speaker 2: but you're definitely not, you know, helping him here. There's

1640
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:23,160
Speaker 2: gonna be no chance for him to have his own

1641
01:13:23,160 --> 01:13:26,200
Speaker 2: life if you keep parenting them like this. Yeah. Update two,

1642
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:29,360
Speaker 2: after my brother broke my prosthetic and my mom basically

1643
01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:32,839
Speaker 2: blame me for it, something inside me cracked. It wasn't anger,

1644
01:13:32,960 --> 01:13:36,439
Speaker 2: not really. It was this cold, heavy finality, like realizing

1645
01:13:36,439 --> 01:13:39,120
Speaker 2: a door had closed and no matter how much I knocked,

1646
01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:41,360
Speaker 2: nobody was going to open it. I stayed in the

1647
01:13:41,360 --> 01:13:44,840
Speaker 2: house a few more days. It was unbearable. Every time

1648
01:13:44,920 --> 01:13:47,080
Speaker 2: I saw my mom and brother it was like nothing

1649
01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:50,240
Speaker 2: had happened, like my life hadn't just been shattered again.

1650
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:53,559
Speaker 2: No offer to fix the leg, no plan to replace it,

1651
01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:57,479
Speaker 2: just silence, awkward family dinners, my brother bragging about how

1652
01:13:57,520 --> 01:13:59,840
Speaker 2: he'd figured out how the robot lake where, like it

1653
01:13:59,920 --> 01:14:03,040
Speaker 2: was some science project. So I made a decision. I

1654
01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:06,360
Speaker 2: called my dad. He and my mom are divorced. I've

1655
01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:08,479
Speaker 2: always been closer to him, but didn't want to burden

1656
01:14:08,560 --> 01:14:12,200
Speaker 2: him before I told him everything. He was furious. He

1657
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:14,240
Speaker 2: showed up the next morning with his truck and said,

1658
01:14:14,320 --> 01:14:16,599
Speaker 2: pack what you need, You're coming with me. It wasn't

1659
01:14:16,680 --> 01:14:20,160
Speaker 2: a dramatic screaming match. I didn't even cry. I packed

1660
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:23,600
Speaker 2: a duffel bag, grabbed my schoolwork, my clothes, what was

1661
01:14:23,680 --> 01:14:27,240
Speaker 2: left of my passed away prosthetic. I left behind photos, decorations,

1662
01:14:27,400 --> 01:14:29,920
Speaker 2: anything that felt too tangled up with who I used

1663
01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:32,519
Speaker 2: to be before, before everything. When I walked out, my

1664
01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:35,160
Speaker 2: mom barely looked at me. My brother cried and said,

1665
01:14:35,200 --> 01:14:37,559
Speaker 2: don't be mad at me. My mom said she'll come

1666
01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:40,720
Speaker 2: back when she calms down. She still doesn't get it.

1667
01:14:40,880 --> 01:14:43,280
Speaker 2: I'm not coming back. I'm living with my dad now.

1668
01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:46,680
Speaker 2: His house is smaller, but it's quiet, peaceful, safe. I

1669
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:49,559
Speaker 2: can charge my broken prosthetic without fear. I can walk

1670
01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:52,840
Speaker 2: around without being afraid someone will sabotage me again. He's

1671
01:14:52,880 --> 01:14:55,559
Speaker 2: already helping me contact the prosthetic company to see about

1672
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:58,479
Speaker 2: repairs or replacement. He said he'll co sign alone if

1673
01:14:58,479 --> 01:15:01,040
Speaker 2: insurance won't cover enough. He said, you didn't survive all

1674
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,479
Speaker 2: of this just to end up crawling again. By the way,

1675
01:15:04,040 --> 01:15:08,960
Speaker 2: you can crawl over here and listen to full episodes

1676
01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:13,080
Speaker 2: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1677
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:16,200
Speaker 2: or iHeart Radio and search up. Okay, storytime, do it.

1678
01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:18,800
Speaker 2: There's a little bit left to this story. Do you

1679
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:21,559
Speaker 2: have any final thoughts? Where was the dad this whole time?

1680
01:15:21,760 --> 01:15:25,559
Speaker 2: That's what I'm wondering. Why weren't you living with your dad. Yeah,

1681
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:28,840
Speaker 2: he's an amazing savior. Yeah, thank goodness that he came

1682
01:15:28,880 --> 01:15:31,760
Speaker 2: in and saved the day. But oh, where it's about time?

1683
01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:35,479
Speaker 2: Where I mean, like, did he not know anything that

1684
01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:38,080
Speaker 2: was going on? I guess not. I mean, I don't know,

1685
01:15:38,479 --> 01:15:40,720
Speaker 2: they're not telling Were you not talking to him? Yeah?

1686
01:15:40,840 --> 01:15:43,559
Speaker 5: Maybe they just had some agreement that, you know, she

1687
01:15:43,760 --> 01:15:46,960
Speaker 5: was living with her mom and I don't know, just

1688
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:51,559
Speaker 5: maybe just teenage like insecurities with the you know, not

1689
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:53,759
Speaker 5: wanting to burden him with problems like this or something.

1690
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:54,200
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1691
01:15:54,360 --> 01:15:56,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know, but thank goodness that he is

1692
01:15:56,920 --> 01:15:57,920
Speaker 5: here at the end of the day.

1693
01:15:58,000 --> 01:16:01,280
Speaker 2: Agreed. I have a lot of healing to do emotionally too.

1694
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:04,200
Speaker 2: But for the first time in two years, I can breathe.

1695
01:16:04,240 --> 01:16:07,000
Speaker 2: And when I eventually walk properly again, whether it's on

1696
01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:09,040
Speaker 2: this leg or a new one, it'll be because I

1697
01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:12,800
Speaker 2: fought for myself, not because someone gave me permission. Thanks

1698
01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:15,719
Speaker 2: for reading, for caring, and for reminding me that surviving

1699
01:16:15,880 --> 01:16:19,200
Speaker 2: isn't selfish. Commoner one says, your dad is awesome. You

1700
01:16:19,280 --> 01:16:21,519
Speaker 2: need to go no contact with your mom once you can.

1701
01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:24,720
Speaker 2: She is abusive and enables and encourages your brother to

1702
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:27,719
Speaker 2: abuse you. The only time she's happy is when you're hurting.

1703
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:30,559
Speaker 2: Commoner two says, sweetheart, you did so well. Your dad

1704
01:16:30,600 --> 01:16:33,280
Speaker 2: sounds like an amazing man, and I'm so happy one

1705
01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:36,040
Speaker 2: of your parents on one hundred percent behind you. Unless

1706
01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:38,200
Speaker 2: your mother can wake up and see exactly how her

1707
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:41,479
Speaker 2: child you is hurting so much, then you made the

1708
01:16:41,520 --> 01:16:44,240
Speaker 2: right decision. Please keep us updated on your progress. We

1709
01:16:44,280 --> 01:16:47,080
Speaker 2: would love to hear how you're getting on. And Commoner

1710
01:16:47,120 --> 01:16:49,800
Speaker 2: three says, please file a police report against your mom

1711
01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:54,080
Speaker 2: and brother. This is absolutely necessary for insurance purposes, and

1712
01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:56,439
Speaker 2: the company may be more inclined to help you if

1713
01:16:56,520 --> 01:16:58,800
Speaker 2: you have proof you're not scamming them. Glad you got

1714
01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:02,559
Speaker 2: out and that is the end of that story. Wow, Yeah,

1715
01:17:02,600 --> 01:17:04,400
Speaker 2: I mean like probably would help if you got that

1716
01:17:04,439 --> 01:17:07,880
Speaker 2: police sport. Yeah, definitely definitely do something. I'm sure.

1717
01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:11,120
Speaker 5: I mean, if if the dad is already you know,

1718
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,360
Speaker 5: divorced from the mom, I'm sure there's already some.

1719
01:17:13,439 --> 01:17:16,920
Speaker 2: Bad blood there. I do not I do not doubt that.

1720
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:20,240
Speaker 5: I hope that the dad can be like, yeah, we're

1721
01:17:20,280 --> 01:17:23,639
Speaker 5: gonna talk to you about the court taking them to court.

1722
01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:28,519
Speaker 2: We're gonna get what's Rifley yours indeed, indeed, But that's

1723
01:17:28,520 --> 01:17:29,360
Speaker 2: the end of that story.