WEBVTT - Duality (with Brian Huskey) 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.320 Portions of This is Americans Life, the improvised documentary podcast, 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:07.880 are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors, 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:11.560 and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.640 inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:18.840 hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:23.440 random sentence provided by our revered, omnipotent random sentence Generator. 0:00:23.480 --> 0:00:27.080 For more This is Americans Live. Listened to more episodes 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:30.360 of This is Americans Live. I Guess and now your 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:41.960 first random sentence. Kangarosages rabbits on steroids. That's what genealogists 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:46.600 were claiming, Not that they had any background and rabbit genealogy, 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:48.559 but they were taking a stab at it and this 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:50.559 is the outcome that they came up with. A lot 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:54.120 of people were critical of using a sort of like 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:58.080 common phrase like on steroids, right that that that kind 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:00.680 of approach loss system little credibility as far as like 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:04.240 getting the work published. But once we did establish that yes, 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:09.479 kangaroos were indeed like rabbits on steroids, we went back 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:12.920 and we worked with some different scientists who focus on 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:19.680 laga morphs, which we all know our rabbits. Everyone. You 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:22.039 had a harder time getting people on your side because 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.800 in your first article you said, why a rabbits choosing? 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:28.040 And it's not carrots. Yes, we were taking an attempt 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:31.640 at humor, right, which is not what our strong suit is. No. No, 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:34.240 we spent the first three months just trying to come 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:37.800 up with some humorous approach to the to the study. 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:40.280 And we don't really have a vast knowledge of drugs 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:45.080 in general. So that's why everything is steroids. I mean, 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:46.759 I don't even know what else is out there for Well, 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:50.080 someone else said that maybe it's on cocaine, or maybe 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:54.640 it's one. I don't think you've pronounced that first one cocaine. 0:01:55.040 --> 0:02:00.720 Oh yes, yes, right, cocaine, not not cocaine, which is 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:03.320 the ingredient in coca cola. A lot of people don't 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:06.120 know that. They keep going on and on about the 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:10.080 pronunciation of cocaine, really focusing on the little rabbit in 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:12.680 the room, the fact that they were trying to start 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:15.080 a whole new science that didn't even exist. Well, I 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:19.799 think an honor is clearly a weasel on steroids. Yeah, 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:22.959 and a and a giraffe is a horse on steroids, 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:26.200 and a rat is a mouse, several mice actually on 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:32.120 steroid wearing a rat suit, and a man is a fish. 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:35.760 Over millions and millions years of using steroids, you think 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:37.840 maybe the fact that both you guys lost your jobs 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:39.720 at the big major dab. He's just trying to find 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:43.280 a way to make money by creating studies or studying 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:46.160 things that nobody really cares about, because he's trying to 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:50.120 make an income. That question was like a statement on steroids. 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:52.720 It really did feel like an indictment of our dignity 0:02:52.760 --> 0:03:02.320 on steroids. Is this is American's life? I mean sorry? 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:05.760 With producer Andy, our special guest contributor for this episode 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:08.640 is Brian Husky. In our show, we'll be using our 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:11.560 trustee random sentence generator to bring you a story in 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:15.680 three improvised acts. This week's theme duality. Everything that you 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:19.000 think you know about yourself, there's always the opposite side 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:21.680 of the spectrum to your personality. There is a dark 0:03:21.840 --> 0:03:26.760 and a light, happy and sad. A batman and Bruce 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:37.760 Wayne say with us, You're gonna say Robin Act one, 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:44.640 the secret ingredient There's wonderful life was crime nobody knew, 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.440 not his family and not his friends. Everybody else. He 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:50.280 was just a neighborhood guy who had a family in 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:53.520 a regular job. But at night, Thomas had a habit. 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:56.760 I'm sorry, I just gotta call. I gotta, I gotta 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:59.800 go out. Well, I just said dinner down. I know, 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:04.720 I just gotta call, right, can help me with my homeworker? 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:07.880 Or no, daddy's got to go out again? What? Dad 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:09.680 just came back home from being out. I know what 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:15.320 I have very important erin run. What I could help 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:16.920 you with it? We could do it after dinner. Is 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:26.000 a family that would be that very time sensitive. Let's 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:28.440 do it now, right, we could pick up some food. This, 0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:30.840 I can just put this back in the the cast role. 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.280 It's easy to store. That's why I making so many 0:04:33.279 --> 0:04:37.200 of them. I just don't want to do it right now. Okay, 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:39.840 we're gonna do this now. I don't want to know what. 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:42.159 You don't want to do this now, but the family 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:45.880 needs time together. You guys getting a divorce? No, sweet, 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:49.280 we're not getting a divorce. Divorce, No, we're not. Just 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:54.520 Sometimes adults have responsibilities to their family, and then they 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:58.400 have responsibilities to mysterious things that they never explain. I'm 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:05.680 never going to leave if you're a month, you don't know, 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:08.640 I'll just try to go where the funk you want. Yeah, 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:10.919 it's like fucking he said, you're gonna be just like 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:14.279 fucking how the time is right now in the back. Yeah, 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:17.840 by six fift day and a six fifth day? How 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:21.359 many that I'm going to not only many many And 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:26.520 it's Jerry, Jerry's Louis, it's Louis do. Yeah, we're the triplets. 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:29.039 They all sound the same. You know that. Yeah, you 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:35.400 know that, all four of you. I'm trying get this 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:38.120 is this is Jerry, all right, you get you get 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:43.400 right now? All right? You don't the kid and the girl, 0:05:44.000 --> 0:05:45.679 I don't know if you're married to her. I've gotten 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:47.880 into that by your life exactly. We haven't talked and 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:50.920 we haven't bonded yet. We've been working. Are you okay? Well, 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.920 the gratulation you will go down to, so you get 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:58.680 down yet. Trying, guys, I'll be right that there I've 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:03.360 not criminals. That was not carminals. When this in me 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:06.200 be talking to, I mean that was is that your 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:09.640 white van outside? Hold on, I gotta make up. I 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:12.400 gotta make a call real quick. I guess I'll put 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:14.880 in the oven. It seems like it's gonna win those nine. 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:19.799 Please please just call this work. You have your wire, 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:23.120 you don't. Don't do that. When you do that, it 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:26.320 hurts my ears wearing headphones asking he's wearing his wire? 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:29.119 Is that Jimmy, it's Jimmy, Yes, it's it's it's Agent Jimmy. 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:31.240 Terry there too, Agent Terry is here too. Yeah, I'm 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:34.280 here too. Barry there, I got the twins and then 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:39.000 the sidekick A four. Just hang out. You had to 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:41.520 bring Agent Barry because you know I don't bring Agent 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:47.640 Berry this button. Do you need me here for this? 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:49.960 I just was calling to tell you that you should 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:51.800 probably move the rand alot. I want you to understand 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:55.000 something what you have to deliver to us, but we 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:57.960 asked you to deliver to us. Otherwise our deals off 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:01.240 and you don't get the today of immunity, the legal deal. 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:02.680 I mean a little bit of a pinch here. I've 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:04.240 got all of us are on a pinch. But you 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:10.480 know who's gonna get pinched? You, my friend, sweetheart. This 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:12.080 is the last thing I'm going to say to you. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.480 If I leave this cast role in the oven any longer, 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:17.240 it's going to be dry all right, it is going 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:21.960 to be a dry chicken Caesar casserole. Okay, the second 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:25.560 time chicken has gone dry castle. All right, you know 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:29.320 what family of mine? I say, we all sit down 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:35.320 to a nice quick family dinner. There we go, and son, 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:38.720 that's how you have a healthy relationship. You come to 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:43.120 see what your partner and your your dependence needs are 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.080 such a quick quick dinner. All right, let's join hands 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:50.000 and have a quick prayer. All right, okay, quick, Lord 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:52.760 our father who are in heaven and also in each 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:57.760 of our individual hearts, thank you for the food and 0:07:57.840 --> 0:08:01.760 for the protection we feel from our home, our community. 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:04.160 And now I'd like to pass it off to my son, 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:06.200 who I know has a few things on the table, 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:08.440 like a new girl in his life that I know 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:12.400 he would love to press. I like her a lot, 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:16.440 you know. I think that she likes me and and 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:21.080 and I think that maybe that if I, you know, 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:26.560 do better, I think that I'll be. I think that 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:29.200 we could be if you you let her know who 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.160 you I let her know who I. I can't remember 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:32.880 what you told me. Let her know who you are, 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:36.480 how specially special I am, and that you have a 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:39.600 golden heart, that God has touched himself, that I have 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:44.320 a I have a golden heart, and that God has 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:48.560 touched you, has touched him, touched the heart, touched my heart. 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:53.000 That fire outside. I gotta run outside real quick, you know, 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.920 I put a pin in that. I'll be back guy, 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:00.800 and amen, all right, I'll slowly or of the salad. 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.680 Here it was clear that he was playing three sides 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:07.319 of the kin, his family, the FBI, and this organized 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:10.960 crime syndicate that he had somehow organized on his own, 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:14.560 not knowing that he had started his own mafia. Alright, 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:18.560 I'm looking for four good guys who can pull off 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:23.760 some ice. Who the fuck are you? Yeah, my name 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.440 is Thomas. Yeah Thomas. You don't walk into a pool 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:28.640 hall and just say, hey, I'm looking for three guys 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:32.000 or wet four guys. I'm looking for four guys and 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:34.480 just say I'm looking for guys to do, Like what 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:36.800 do you to do? What? I know? I know? You 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:40.079 just come up like like I don't even know if 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:42.600 you're criminals. I'm assuming you're a criminal because you're in 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:45.679 a pool hall playing pool in the afternoon. That that's 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:48.800 disrespectful to us. I'm offensive. I feel like we got 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:51.479 off on the wrong foot. Yeah, let's let me just 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:53.720 just give me one. Can I give you a tip? Hello? 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:57.000 My name is Thomas. What is your fucking name? All right? 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:01.160 Sounds good. I bought some fucking manners, No, not to self, 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:05.720 have more manners. Introduced myself first. Hey, why are you 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:12.160 saying that into the tape recording? What do you adopted? You? No? No, no, no, 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.880 you just like got a luddite. There's got a walkman, 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:18.760 I don't know. I'm just scratching, scratch a little bit, 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.120 all right, I get it. You got a pastmaker. I 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:25.079 don't work. I don't work with fucking weak hearted pussies 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:28.880 like you like blow into my chest every once in 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:32.040 a while and tap it. Alright, alright, all everything, all right, 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.360 let's start this over because we're you know, we're a 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.959 little up on the cocaine right now. It's cocaine. It's 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:40.680 very much cocaine. I think that he's pronounced. Could you 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:42.360 tell me how you pronounce that again? But let's say 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:44.880 it into my chest. You know, the word, independent of 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:48.200 any other usage or relationship to my life. You just 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:50.600 say it cocaine. All right, But can you use that 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:54.199 word in a sentence like maybe like yeah, sure, all right, mind, 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:58.120 I'm saying the word cocaine. You can state your full 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:02.000 name and then me what you know about Yeah, sure, 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:06.240 here I go. My full name is Vinny the Zippa Patucci. 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.600 And this is my dog Cocaine, which is I actually 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:11.400 was thinking it was. That name is for a dog. 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:13.760 It's fun, right, you know what. Let's start fresh. Let's 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:17.480 go around the room. Everyone tell me their full names, 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:21.760 literally the entire pool. There are thirty duty just you four, 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:24.920 just you four, the triplet's, and you go around the room. 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:28.600 Help me your full name, use the word cocaine in 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:32.680 a sentence, preferably one that would end the cage. How 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:36.680 often you come in contact? Alright, alright man, I'm Joe 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:41.120 Sih also known as Joey Bones. And that's Vinny and 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.280 his budda Vidi and his VICI. Yeah we changed their names. 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.040 You didn't know. Yeah, we were Jerry, Benny and Terry. 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:56.160 I think it's a name. Hang back for just one second. 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:59.000 Sure they have changed their names, so triple let's have 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:02.360 changed their names. I repeat, The triplets have changed their names. 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:05.360 I repeat a third time, the triplets they changed their 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:10.640 names again? Hello, they left me in the times. You're 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:13.319 the only agent, Liz Berry. For the rest of them. 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:16.000 They went out. They said, this guy doesn't know what 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:19.839 he's doing. I think they went out for in and out. Berry, 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:23.120 Is there a pen nearby? I need to write this 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:24.840 down for them when they come back. Well, let me 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:29.280 look around. Okay, we're gonna make a quick diggressive scar Yeah, okay, 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:33.000 go on, all right, thank you very special agent Berry. 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:41.679 Can you write this down please? The triplets T R 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:45.480 I P L E T S. Trip. I'm gonna approximate. 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:49.440 Just write the number three three and then draw a 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.920 draw stick figure with an angry face on his face 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:54.760 to somewhere else, just to make sure there's a frown 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.160 in there so they know that the three equals they're 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.000 bad guys, sad people. How am I going to get 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:03.160 this kind of What are you talking to yourself like that? Blow? Blow? 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:07.280 Blow up, scratch scratchmaker. This guy is obsessed with cocaine, 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:10.800 and he said, cocaine blow? What's up with you? You 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:14.360 got a problem? You're right, I obsised with cocaine. I'm 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.960 sure doers are a new word. I got something, Harry right, 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:23.360 the Stark. Eventually Tom Thomas. Eventually Tom was successful in 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:28.319 Thomas called me Thomas Christ because my fucking show. Eventually, 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:33.680 Tom Thomas, successful in rounding up, comins to work on 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:36.760 his team. Believe the triplets they were on their first job, 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:39.880 Casey had joined. Al Right, here we go outside Generald 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.559 Dane's packing and shipping. Here they have a safe in 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.199 the back. Why did you just say we're outside? We know, 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.400 outside of jail. Yeah, I know, I know how I 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.480 got you. I know I know where I'm sitting. But 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:52.439 then he told like, look, guys, I like to I 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:57.079 like to narrate my own life. You know, he's I 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.400 don't know why the funk he's doing this is making 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.360 me feel a weird. You know, maybe I'm gonna put 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.120 a pill in this guy's fucking head. You know what. 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.559 I like to narrate, either when I'm pooping or I'm 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:09.120 making love. I hate you doing it in the bathroom 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:12.000 all the time. Nothing, Yeah, both things right, And I'll 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.840 let it. I'll let people know what's going on. I'll say, 0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:16.960 here I am in the toilet, and here it comes. Oh, 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.280 here comes that magic rope coming out of me. You know, 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:20.840 some people don't like that kind of talk, but it 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:23.000 helps me. It relaxes me, and the same thing for 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:24.760 the lady. You know what I'm in. The lady is 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:26.440 like here it comes to my magic rope, which I 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:31.400 that indicates my penis. I like pushing both things a 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:34.000 little bit. All right, what you want to start it? 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.520 Talking to yourself? Yeah, I was talking to all of us, 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:38.560 talking to the world's of stage. I was talking to 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:41.200 the audience that is the rest of the right the 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:45.240 shipping place. What is safe in the back? Safe in 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:48.480 the back? I am trying to think of how we 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:51.960 should break in and crack that safe. I wish I 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:56.480 knew if anybody had some experience doing that. This is 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:59.640 a pool hall question. Seriously, you don't come to the 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.040 and be like, how are we gonna do it? You know? 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:05.400 Have you ever done this ship before? Yes? What names 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:08.040 some jobs you've done? Some recent one? Yeah, names some jobs. 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:12.000 Name a job. One job. He has a gun to 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:15.320 your fucking hit buck, Name a job. Nice narration, Thank 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:19.120 you Gerald, Dean's car wash. Gerald is not part of it. 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.600 Like a hold on, shut up, shut up, shut up, 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:25.960 shut the funks. My private phone. Hello, this is the Zippa. 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:30.520 It's Agent Ferry. Hey, Hey, guys, I'm sorry it's my niece. 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:34.040 It's Keith Signera. I gotta take it. Tell her congratulate. 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:38.840 What do you say for a kid congratulating? All right? Hello? 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.320 Did he tell you what he did? Listen, I'm on it. Okay, 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:45.520 he's about to use the same Geraldine's him? Where Geraldine shipping? 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:48.000 You know what happens if you don't get the information, 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:52.280 you go alright bye, sweetheart. I think that dress sounds great. 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.640 That was my niece, you know, Keira, you know, I 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:59.400 gotta tire you. Your niece sounds like somebody I know 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:07.080 what she's a fifty say, you know my good my niece. Yeah, yes, 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:10.800 I know a lot of you, your old girls. Oh shit, 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:13.160 I'm holding a knife to your neck now, this is 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:20.400 me nar rating. Yeah, you take that back, I bro, bro, Okay, 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:23.920 I don't I don't know your niece. I gotta make 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:29.120 a quick calls, right, just one second. Hello, it's Verry 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:33.440 Perry Um Thomas hair. Yeah. I always saw I came 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:35.920 up on the on the idea. I got your picture 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:40.160 on there, so so hey, I was on the job here. Um, 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:42.560 I know I see you. I see you on the 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:47.720 screen only informing you have the others. I can't tell you. 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:50.800 I mean, you knew when you're coming into the informant 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:54.240 game that you might be killing your best friend. Y, 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:57.560 why you're good boy? Tell me if you're working with 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.240 other informants. I'm not in a position at I mean, 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:02.120 you could talk to my higher up if you want 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:06.840 to take that. The FBI, he spoke to the first 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:11.480 spader FBI. Oh, yes, it's it's the It's just the main, 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:16.000 the main operator. The English Press one, the Spanish Press two, 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:22.080 English English. You have reached the FBI. Oh my god, 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:25.560 speak to an agent Press one. I thought I was one. 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:33.840 Enter your zip code now or I'm sorry, you've exceeded 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:42.720 the time limit. O my god, how do I go back? Agent? Agent? Agent? Hello, fion, 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.919 what's the nature of your national emergency? Um? Yeah, Hi, 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:51.840 my name is Thomas. Get my picture. Yeah, it's pretty easy. 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:54.160 It's called Google. Anyway. I'm out here on a job 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:58.000 and uh, all right, on the job. I'm trying to 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:00.359 I'm working with these guys. I think it's expect they 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:04.719 might be this guy named Barry. I'm working with him. 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:08.320 He's might one of my he's on special like offecial 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.840 Asian Berry. You just tell me what I'm gonna say. 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:14.000 You're finding out if Berry is a working a angle 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:18.440 on you, if he's working with two two independent undercover operatives. Yeah, 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:20.400 we're on top of it. You're not Thomas, and you're 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:24.360 coming dangerously close to having the thing you don't want 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:26.479 to have happened happened to you. Wait wait, wait, wait, 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:29.639 proceed with the execution of the procedure, and if you 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:31.880 do not buy weeks in, well we all know what's 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:36.720 gonna happen. Oh God, thank you for calling the FBI. 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:39.200 I'm already time to take a part of the survey. 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:43.800 Please one, okay, I'll take this survey. Were you happy 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:47.240 with your agents level of service? Press one for yes, 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:53.440 five or absolutely not? Girl? Who's coming? Four? No? No, no, 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:57.200 wait too. This is the Asian you're just dealing with. 0:18:57.280 --> 0:18:59.400 I just saw you gave me a very low rating 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:01.280 on your didn't mean to. It's because they have that 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:05.639 they haven't set the opposite one being number one the best. 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.359 Just like in any ranking, number one is the best 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:10.240 and five out of five would be the worst. And 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:12.600 you chose four, which is towards five. I was this 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:14.959 kind of paying attention. Come on, you know me, sir, 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:16.760 you can take it up with a review board. You 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:19.440 can sort of posed a statement as to why you 0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:22.959 misunderstood the very simple to use rating system. We can 0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:25.480 examine it and see what the council things, you know, 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:28.320 and i'd like to take it up with the review board. Actually, 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:29.679 if you don't mind, I'm going to give you one 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:38.240 number to that. Okay, FBI help, all right. I didn't 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:40.240 have to write this down. It's not my pro Some 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:49.080 people can't remember these things. Okay, what was it? Okay? Help, alright, 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:51.240 go talking to you again. You don't have to say goodbye, 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:04.639 thank you for calling one hundred flowers. God, damn it, 0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:07.800 you didn't write it down to the way eight hundred 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:11.040 health PI. Hell yeah, I don't think he wrote it down. 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:15.440 Because you want flowers? No, you know what, I would 0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:17.920 like to order some flowers because there's an agent that 0:20:17.960 --> 0:20:21.280 I kind of perturbed. I want to order flowers or not? Yes, 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:23.840 I would like to order flowers. Flowers, you know what. 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:26.080 I'd like to order two sets of flowers. One is 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.320 an apology set of flowers and the others for a 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.960 King Signia. First one is the ghost too, you know. 0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:36.159 Just make it out to Agent Comma you're gonna want 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:39.320 to write all this time. I remember it. It's me Thomas, 0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:44.639 thank you for your excellent service, which I meant to 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:48.480 give a one for period. Will you forgive me question 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:51.400 mark love? Should I say love? Whatever you want? It's 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:56.359 your dime, sir? Is this the coneniors apology flowers? Obviously 0:20:56.400 --> 0:20:58.600 some apology flowers? I don't know. Some people like to 0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:02.080 senn apology flowers to consider nearest. Can I'm gonna go 0:21:02.200 --> 0:21:03.840 get a job, but juice? Do you want one? Can 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:07.239 you get me strawberries? Wild? Small? Good luck with this one? 0:21:07.280 --> 0:21:10.000 He think you? He said he's a work. Will there 0:21:10.040 --> 0:21:12.760 be a survey after this call? Just out of curiosity? Yeah? 0:21:12.840 --> 0:21:15.239 Okay great? The other one they're fifteen year old Nae 0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:20.320 Comma happy at ketson Era love Thomas. Can you get 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:22.840 one of the XO XO? Actually? Please? If I just 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:29.239 happy Kinsira love Thomas. Yes, I was just saying that eight. 0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:31.520 He didn't write down the right letters. He sent the 0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:35.040 wrong flowers to the wrong person. Agent Marry, you get 0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:44.879 the kinds of flowers? Oh what why taste good? Hello? 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:48.720 Agent special agent Berry? Hey Berry, you might have gotten 0:21:48.760 --> 0:21:52.680 a confusing okay, a note recently. I just want to 0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:54.359 kind of clear it up a little bit for you. 0:21:54.560 --> 0:21:57.440 Oh yeah, Actually I thought this was a message from 0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:00.080 a Mexican cartel saying that I was going to go 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:03.560 down like it's very concerned about it. If you get 0:22:03.640 --> 0:22:06.160 a bouquet for a King Sania and you're a male, 0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:10.439 especially the adult male like me, Oh, that's like your 0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:12.560 head on a tortoise. You know what I mean, your 0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:14.159 head out of the tortoise, which is a turtle on 0:22:14.240 --> 0:22:17.160 steroids by the way, something it's a breaking bad reference. 0:22:17.320 --> 0:22:21.160 Oh yeah, with the toga. Are you saying you sent 0:22:21.280 --> 0:22:24.480 this to me? I honestly, Berry, full disclosure, I really 0:22:24.560 --> 0:22:28.200 didn't know the key Sania flower boukay thing meant that 0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:32.160 you're going to die. Hey, I didn't mean to do that. Frankly, 0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:35.879 I'm glad they were sent to you because if they 0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:40.400 would have been sent to the phone line started scrambling, 0:22:40.600 --> 0:22:43.160 Thomas gonna get his film message to Barry. Barry started 0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:46.480 piecing it together, realized Thomas must be the head of 0:22:46.560 --> 0:22:49.399 a cartail that Thomas immediately went to his buzzes and 0:22:49.480 --> 0:22:52.760 Pat Thomas is the top five wanted man. Come again 0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:57.879 you be Berry put him as the head of the 0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:01.240 top five. You said Thomas did it. You said that Thomas. 0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:03.800 Let me just get this studies shade. I know what 0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:05.880 I'm doing. I'm I'm the fucking notes of the show. 0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:07.960 All right, I'm a big fan. Thank you. I don't 0:23:07.960 --> 0:23:10.680 even anything since the first episode to one about the 0:23:10.680 --> 0:23:13.000 guy made his own pants. We actually have that episode, 0:23:13.080 --> 0:23:18.239 the first episode of pants episode one. Yeah, I think 0:23:18.240 --> 0:23:24.879 guy made his down pants. Guys, yeah, Robin, coming on, 0:23:27.080 --> 0:23:29.119 even women has to have pants. While you're making a 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:30.960 pair of pants, and you always have a pair of pants. 0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:34.080 Are you're wearing that? You should say that because I 0:23:34.200 --> 0:23:36.680 have her to me on it. Trely every one of 0:23:36.760 --> 0:23:39.080 these non days, I can make my old pants. You've 0:23:39.080 --> 0:23:41.880 been watching me. At this point, the show had gone 0:23:41.880 --> 0:23:43.960 off the alse he tryed to degree it. Barry got 0:23:44.040 --> 0:23:47.040 behind the board and he started narrating it, and he 0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:50.560