WEBVTT - Try a collaborative riff

0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:09.320
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:16.560
<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:21.919
<v Speaker 1>tip is to try a collaborative riff. Rather than getting

0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:26.520
<v Speaker 1>stuck with small talk about the weather, try creating something

0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:33.640
<v Speaker 1>with your conversation partner instead. Today's tip comes from behavioral

0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:38.519
<v Speaker 1>scientists Maya Rosignant Milan and Erica Boothby. In a New

0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.840
<v Speaker 1>York Times article, they proposed what they call collaborative riffing

0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:48.280
<v Speaker 1>as an alternative to small talk. They write, our aim

0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:53.360
<v Speaker 1>and conversation shouldn't be to mine for surface level commonalities

0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:56.720
<v Speaker 1>or go on a charm offensive. Instead, we should ask

0:00:56.760 --> 0:01:02.560
<v Speaker 1>ourselves what could we create together in this moment. I

0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:07.240
<v Speaker 1>definitely appreciated their portrayal of small talk as usual. You're

0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:09.880
<v Speaker 1>having a root canal next week. I had a root

0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:13.080
<v Speaker 1>canal last week. You're from a small town in Iowa.

0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:18.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm from a small town in Massachusetts. Sometimes these superficial

0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.960
<v Speaker 1>similarities do pave the way for real connection, but more

0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:25.679
<v Speaker 1>often they remain an uninteresting game of ping pong, with

0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:30.080
<v Speaker 1>the ball going back and forth and getting nowhere. In particular,

0:01:31.720 --> 0:01:36.319
<v Speaker 1>that is where collaborative rifts come in. The authors explain

0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:41.280
<v Speaker 1>when riffing speakers resist the urge to counter every observation

0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:45.400
<v Speaker 1>with their own example, instead building bridges to new ideas

0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:48.640
<v Speaker 1>like that reminds me of or tossing in a Can

0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:52.000
<v Speaker 1>you imagine if they refer to earlier parts of the

0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:57.640
<v Speaker 1>conversation to create inside jokes. Collaborative riffing is more playful

0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:01.160
<v Speaker 1>than typical conversation and can be more fun and creative.

0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:05.400
<v Speaker 1>You could see how this would play out. For instance,

0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:08.280
<v Speaker 1>if a friend from work mentions she watched K Pop

0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:12.359
<v Speaker 1>Demon Hunters over the weekend and you watched Inside Out too,

0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:16.440
<v Speaker 1>you could suggest lightly that it sounds like you have

0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:19.800
<v Speaker 1>the beginnings of a list of kid movies that parents

0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:25.400
<v Speaker 1>actually like. Your colleague might then accept your subtle invitation

0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:29.440
<v Speaker 1>to suggest another movie to go on the list, and

0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:35.440
<v Speaker 1>then you could build from there. That is a collaborative riff. Maybe,

0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:39.359
<v Speaker 1>after listening to a splendid Table podcast episode about all

0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:42.359
<v Speaker 1>the things you can do with instant ramen, you make

0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:46.720
<v Speaker 1>yourself ramen for lunch with shredded carrots and leftover chicken.

0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.760
<v Speaker 1>Then on a zoom work meeting right after lunch, in

0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:53.800
<v Speaker 1>the pre meeting chit chat time, you could mention the

0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:57.520
<v Speaker 1>podcast in what you just ate. If your colleagues seemed

0:02:57.560 --> 0:03:01.440
<v Speaker 1>to find Ramen lunch appealing, you could all then brainstorm

0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:05.400
<v Speaker 1>together other ingredients to use with Ramen. Instead of the

0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:08.880
<v Speaker 1>usual three minutes of boring chit chat. You all rift

0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:13.600
<v Speaker 1>together on interesting lunch ideas. You just might get your

0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:17.200
<v Speaker 1>creative juices flowing for the meeting. You discover what foods

0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:19.040
<v Speaker 1>your colleagues like in case you want to invite them

0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:22.600
<v Speaker 1>to lunch in the future, and you may even get

0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:28.440
<v Speaker 1>ideas for future Ramen lunches. Creating something together, whether serious

0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.240
<v Speaker 1>or playful, is a lot more fun than talking about

0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:36.560
<v Speaker 1>the weather or shallow similarities, so consider giving it a

0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:41.240
<v Speaker 1>try and you might enjoy small talk a lot more.

0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:48.280
<v Speaker 1>In the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:58.240
<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for

0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:03.080
<v Speaker 1>listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,

0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:12.680
<v Speaker 1>you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

0:04:12.840 --> 0:04:16.880
<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts

0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:21.520
<v Speaker 1>from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

0:04:21.520 --> 0:04:23.400
<v Speaker 1>wherever you listen to your favorite shows.