1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:21,919 Speaker 1: tip is to try a collaborative riff. Rather than getting 4 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: stuck with small talk about the weather, try creating something 5 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: with your conversation partner instead. Today's tip comes from behavioral 6 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 1: scientists Maya Rosignant Milan and Erica Boothby. In a New 7 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 1: York Times article, they proposed what they call collaborative riffing 8 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: as an alternative to small talk. They write, our aim 9 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: and conversation shouldn't be to mine for surface level commonalities 10 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: or go on a charm offensive. Instead, we should ask 11 00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: ourselves what could we create together in this moment. I 12 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: definitely appreciated their portrayal of small talk as usual. You're 13 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: having a root canal next week. I had a root 14 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: canal last week. You're from a small town in Iowa. 15 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: I'm from a small town in Massachusetts. Sometimes these superficial 16 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 1: similarities do pave the way for real connection, but more 17 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,679 Speaker 1: often they remain an uninteresting game of ping pong, with 18 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: the ball going back and forth and getting nowhere. In particular, 19 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: that is where collaborative rifts come in. The authors explain 20 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: when riffing speakers resist the urge to counter every observation 21 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:45,400 Speaker 1: with their own example, instead building bridges to new ideas 22 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: like that reminds me of or tossing in a Can 23 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: you imagine if they refer to earlier parts of the 24 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: conversation to create inside jokes. Collaborative riffing is more playful 25 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: than typical conversation and can be more fun and creative. 26 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: You could see how this would play out. For instance, 27 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: if a friend from work mentions she watched K Pop 28 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,359 Speaker 1: Demon Hunters over the weekend and you watched Inside Out too, 29 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: you could suggest lightly that it sounds like you have 30 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 1: the beginnings of a list of kid movies that parents 31 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: actually like. Your colleague might then accept your subtle invitation 32 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: to suggest another movie to go on the list, and 33 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: then you could build from there. That is a collaborative riff. Maybe, 34 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,359 Speaker 1: after listening to a splendid Table podcast episode about all 35 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,359 Speaker 1: the things you can do with instant ramen, you make 36 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: yourself ramen for lunch with shredded carrots and leftover chicken. 37 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: Then on a zoom work meeting right after lunch, in 38 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: the pre meeting chit chat time, you could mention the 39 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: podcast in what you just ate. If your colleagues seemed 40 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: to find Ramen lunch appealing, you could all then brainstorm 41 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: together other ingredients to use with Ramen. Instead of the 42 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 1: usual three minutes of boring chit chat. You all rift 43 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: together on interesting lunch ideas. You just might get your 44 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: creative juices flowing for the meeting. You discover what foods 45 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: your colleagues like in case you want to invite them 46 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: to lunch in the future, and you may even get 47 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: ideas for future Ramen lunches. Creating something together, whether serious 48 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: or playful, is a lot more fun than talking about 49 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: the weather or shallow similarities, so consider giving it a 50 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: try and you might enjoy small talk a lot more. 51 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: In the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and 52 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for 53 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 54 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 55 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 56 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 57 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.