1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:16,280 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: tip is to keep any given experience in context. Play 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: the whole movie, don't obsess over one disappointing scene. Today's 5 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,840 Speaker 1: tip comes from Mira Orndoff, a senior manager at Capital One. 6 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: In a recent episode of the Harvard Business Review podcast 7 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 1: Women at Work, Ornduff described her advocacy for part time 8 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 1: tech jobs at Capital One and how she handled resistance. 9 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: She commented that she tries to play my whole movie. 10 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: Our brains are so negatively biased, and we have a 11 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: recency bias, and it's so easy to let our brains 12 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: replay things that haven't gone how we wanted. And with 13 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: the ups and downs of the journey, I have really 14 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: found it to be helpful to think about the importance 15 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 1: of the destination that I'm driving to the progress that 16 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: has happened, and I should find satisfaction in that and 17 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: not in just those individual moments or milestones. Play the 18 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 1: whole movie. That is such great advice. When we are 19 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: working hard to go in one direction or achieve a 20 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: goal personally or professionally, it is so tempting to focus 21 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: on any given disappointment. And yes, setbacks can be disappointing, 22 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,959 Speaker 1: but a narrow focus means we can overlook the progress 23 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: that has happened too. So, for instance, maybe you feel 24 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: like you performed poorly in a job interview. That is 25 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: definitely frustrating, but you can try to point out to 26 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: yourself that you were offered that second round interview in 27 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: the first place, and you aced the first round interview 28 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: at the company last week. Plus you've got two more 29 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: interviews elsewhere scheduled next week. Play the whole movie about 30 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: your job search. You want to put the disappointing scene 31 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: in context. This is particularly true when it comes to 32 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 1: big personal goals that take a lot of time. I 33 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: love distance running, but I know that stuff can go 34 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: wrong in big races. Big races can get canceled. You 35 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: can get injured half way through a marathon and have 36 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: to stop after months of training. That can feel devastating. 37 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: In those moments, it helps to remember that maybe a 38 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: year ago you were just starting a couch to five 39 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: k program and now you've run most of a marathon. 40 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: Or maybe you used to run twelve minute miles and 41 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: now your regular easy runs feel good at an eleven 42 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: minute mile pace. All of that sounds like growth to me. 43 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: You can also play the whole movie when you are 44 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: experiencing frustration in a relationship. Don't get stuck on the 45 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:20,079 Speaker 1: latest scene when your friend canceled on you last minute 46 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,960 Speaker 1: after you'd gone to a lot of trouble to make 47 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: the plans work. By playing the whole movie, you will 48 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,679 Speaker 1: also remember the time when she dropped everything to come 49 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,399 Speaker 1: to the hospital to be with you when your dad 50 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: had a heart attack. That doesn't mean excusing a long 51 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: string of problematic behavior. People do change, and not always 52 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: for the better, but in the context of a long relationship, 53 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: one dud of a scene may just not be that 54 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: big of a deal. When we play the whole movie, 55 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: we maintain a sense of perspective. Sure we may feel sad, 56 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: but we don't let that overshadow everything else. The plot 57 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: is still good. We just need to brush off that 58 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: scene and keep watching. In the meantime, This is Laura. 59 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 60 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:35,360 Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to before Breakfast. If you've 61 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at 62 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a 63 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit 64 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 65 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.