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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 2: a little house. Oh you, My ex cheated and left

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Speaker 2: me for her soulmate. Now she's getting her karma. Come

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Speaker 2: as a witch. My ex twenty nine female and I

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Speaker 2: twenty nine male, met in college in twenty thirteen. I

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Speaker 2: was twenty two and she was twenty one. We became

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Speaker 2: fast friends and eventually developed feelings for each other. We

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Speaker 2: became a couple a year later, and it was a

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Speaker 2: great relationship. I don't regret it. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from Main Potential seventy three, twenty seven and if

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Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 2: r slash Okay Storytime Separate. I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, and

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Speaker 2: I'm Keon, and we're a year to give good advice. Goofy,

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what if we'd do, So let us know what you

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Speaker 2: would do in the comments and Opisas in twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 2: I was home when she called saying she was outside

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Speaker 2: and that we needed to talk. I went outside and

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Speaker 2: saw that she was crying in her car. I went

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Speaker 2: up to her and asked what was wrong. She confessed

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Speaker 2: that she cheated on me. I was shocked, hurt, and

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Speaker 2: teared up. She said we needed to break up because

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Speaker 2: I deserved better than her, and that she had developed

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Speaker 2: feelings for the affair partner. I warned her about rushing

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Speaker 2: into something with someone else and that a relationship that

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Speaker 2: begins by cheating usually ends badly. After we finished talking,

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Speaker 2: I walked back to my house, but before I went in,

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Speaker 2: I turned around to see her one more time. She

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Speaker 2: was still crying. Once I went inside, she posted on

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Speaker 2: social media saying I wish it could just disappear with

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Speaker 2: a crying emoji. I proceeded to remove her from social

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Speaker 2: media after that. As I was mourning the end of

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Speaker 2: my relationship, I also thought about how her new relationship

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Speaker 2: would blow up in her face. Two years went by.

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Speaker 2: During that time, she tried reaching out to me multiple times.

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Speaker 2: She asked how I was doing, sent I'm so messages

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Speaker 2: and are you okay? I never responded. I didn't block

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Speaker 2: her because I was waiting for her when her relationship

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Speaker 2: blew up. Friends and family actually saw her during those

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Speaker 2: two years, and they all said the same thing. She

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Speaker 2: looked miserable, and when she saw them, she would run

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Speaker 2: up and ask how I was doing, begging them to

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Speaker 2: tell me that she would never stop being sorry. In

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Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, she messaged me asking to meet up because

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Speaker 2: she wanted to talk. I knew the day had arrived.

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Speaker 2: I met her at a diner I live in New Jersey,

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Speaker 2: and she was miserable. She looked like she had been

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Speaker 2: crying before we met up. When she saw me, she

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Speaker 2: gave a week high and I gave her a cold one.

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Speaker 2: This surprised her and she got teary eyed. I asked

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Speaker 2: her what she wanted to talk about. She said that

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Speaker 2: she and a fair partner broke up two weeks ago,

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Speaker 2: and admitted that the relationship with him was horrible. It

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Speaker 2: turned out he was a self absorbed person who emotionally

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Speaker 2: mistreated her.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: She showed me texts that were full of no one

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Speaker 2: will ever love you like me and you're ugly. He

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Speaker 2: had broken up with her by text. She also admitted

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Speaker 2: that the guilt of what she did to me never

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Speaker 2: went away and that I was right. She then noticed

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Speaker 2: my emotionless expression and turned away, saying, you used to

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Speaker 2: be so happy and silly. It hurts seeing you like this,

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Speaker 2: and I know it's my fault because of my bad,

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Speaker 2: selfish and dumb decisions. She went on to say, I'm

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Speaker 2: sorry for everything I thought about you every day for

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Speaker 2: the past two years. She said that not only did

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Speaker 2: she ruin us, but she lost her best friend. You

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Speaker 2: were my best friend, and I ruined that. She started

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Speaker 2: crying again, saying I'm not here to get back together

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Speaker 2: because I don't deserve that, and I have no right

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Speaker 2: to ask that. I told her it's true that you

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Speaker 2: don't deserve me. They got quiet, and she turned away again.

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Speaker 2: She said that she missed me and that she had

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Speaker 2: missed me for two years. Then she asked me to

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Speaker 2: be friends again. I told her I couldn't promise anything.

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Speaker 2: She started crying and I left the diner. As I

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Speaker 2: was walking out, I turned over and she was still crying,

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Speaker 2: history repeating itself. After I got home, she messaged me, saying,

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Speaker 2: if we become friends again, I'll work my butt off

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Speaker 2: to earn back your trust, and if not, please no,

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Speaker 2: I'll always be sorry for everything. A year later, in

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Speaker 2: twenty nineteen, I bumped into her while buying lunch. We

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Speaker 2: caught up, but I wasn't as cold as before. I

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Speaker 2: admit I'm a little embarrassed about what I did next.

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Speaker 2: I offered her friends with benefits arrangement, and she accepted.

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Speaker 2: Oh pie. The friends with Benefits lasted for a few months.

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Speaker 2: When I look back, I think I did it for

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Speaker 2: closure and to show her what she was missing. I

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Speaker 2: ended it because I felt that I got my closure.

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Speaker 2: She was disappointed, but also understood. A few months later,

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Speaker 2: she started seeing someone new and they dated until early

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty, before the pandemic hit. She showed up to

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Speaker 2: my home unannounced and revealed to me that the new

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Speaker 2: guy cheated on her with multiple women, and actually blamed

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Speaker 2: her for the cheating, just like a fair partner. The

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Speaker 2: new guy broke up with her by text, girl, you

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Speaker 2: need to take some time apart, go to therapy, figure

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Speaker 2: out what going on with you. We do not want

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Speaker 2: to keep using OPI as a default though for all

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Speaker 2: of this. Oh yeah, op he'd remember, she's literally coming

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Speaker 2: back to you whenever she doesn't have anyone. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: that's bad. It is bad, not good. She said, how

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Speaker 2: much he hated ourselves for what she did to me,

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Speaker 2: but now she understood how I felt. I gave her

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Speaker 2: a hug and told her to take these lessons and

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Speaker 2: never forget them. She thanks me and left. I heard

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Speaker 2: she's in individual counseling and remained single by choice. Good idea, woo.

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Speaker 2: I saw her mother recently and she informed me. As

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Speaker 2: for me, I'm single, working on myself, getting into shape,

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Speaker 2: working in psychology. Guess what inspired me? Comment one. She

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Speaker 2: just broke up with her affair partner and hasn't even

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Speaker 2: been alone a few weeks, and she wants to monkey

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Speaker 2: branch back to you. Run. Oh wait, you don't need

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Speaker 2: a friend like that. She is hoping to manipulate you

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Speaker 2: into giving her what she wants without actually having to

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Speaker 2: face herself or become a healthy person. Do not engage.

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Speaker 2: And there is an update. But do you have any

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Speaker 2: thought boo booo? You gotta ignore if your ex is

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Speaker 2: coming back after multiple years just because someone broke up

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Speaker 2: with her all of a sudden, like if that is

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Speaker 2: so lame, so lame, so lame way to trick lame back. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: don't fall for it. People, do not fall for it.

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Speaker 2: Don't do it. Yeah, it's a trick. It's a trap.

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Speaker 2: It's a big trap, man. But there is an update.

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Speaker 2: Last month, something happened that made me think, uh oh,

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Speaker 2: my ex left me this message. Hey, Opie. I know

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Speaker 2: this is a shock to hear from me, but I

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Speaker 2: want to get this off my chest. I felt guilty

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Speaker 2: for cheating on you with a fair partner five years ago.

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Speaker 2: I left you for him, but part of me didn't

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Speaker 2: love you anymore regardless, But it still wasn't right of

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Speaker 2: me to leave you for someone else. I've learned my

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Speaker 2: lesson not to put someone through that type of pain

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Speaker 2: that I did to you. Five years later, I still

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Speaker 2: carry that part of pain with me, and I'll never

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Speaker 2: forget myself for the ft op situation. I definitely don't

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Speaker 2: give a crap about a fair partner anymore because of

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Speaker 2: how much of a self absorbed a holy really is.

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Speaker 2: You can find someone better than me. Our relationship was wonderful.

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Speaker 2: You were good to me, and at the end I

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Speaker 2: treated that you like crap. You didn't deserve that at all.

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Speaker 2: And my relationship with a fair partners started off good

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Speaker 2: until I saw the real truth in him and the

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Speaker 2: red flags that I didn't realize until after our relationship.

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Speaker 2: I feel guilty for hurting you during me and a

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Speaker 2: fair partner's relationship. I miss our friendship a lot. When

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Speaker 2: I saw you for the first time in two years,

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Speaker 2: I said to myself, he's so not gonna forgive me

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Speaker 2: for the crap I put him through, and I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: be lady enough to apologize for the way I heard him.

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Speaker 2: And I would never ask him to take me back,

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Speaker 2: because that's not the way to handle crab at all.

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Speaker 2: I will always care for about you, and I will

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Speaker 2: always be sorry for everything I'd done. I hope I

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Speaker 2: can see you again one day. I was speechless at first,

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Speaker 2: but then I just messaged thank you and left it

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Speaker 2: at that comment. Notice how she repeatedly said it was

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Speaker 2: only after she realized the other guys sucked that she

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Speaker 2: felt bad about it. That sounds like she would still

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Speaker 2: be fine with it if he hadn't turned out to

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Speaker 2: be what he was all along. That this message doesn't

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Speaker 2: serve to apologize to you, instead to ease her own

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Speaker 2: discomfort and attempt to draw more from you. Update two,

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Speaker 2: it's been a while. I'm happy to say that I

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Speaker 2: haven't seen my ex in two years, and things are

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Speaker 2: going really well Since I last posted. I was in

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Speaker 2: a relationship that ended seven months ago, but at least

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Speaker 2: that breakup was mutual. Also, I'm no longer scrawny, finally

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Speaker 2: got some muscle on me. Nice show pee. Any final thoughts, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: big time, UG, that's just so annoying, so annoying, so

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Speaker 2: many different ways.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, literally, just block her if you were to say anything.

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Speaker 3: I feel like the things that would mess with her

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Speaker 3: the most is if you like, don't respond, or if

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Speaker 3: you just say like okay or something like that, or yeah,

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Speaker 3: maybe just don't respond. That's the best way to do it.

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Speaker 3: Don't give her any closure from that. I know you

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Speaker 3: said thank you, so it's too late, but but don't

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Speaker 3: bet after that you're done.

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Speaker 2: Block her. Block her. She's gonna keep coming back to

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Speaker 2: your ex.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was reflecting today about when I met my ex

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Speaker 2: at the diner back in twenty eighteen. She was telling

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Speaker 2: me how she didn't realize that she was also emotionally

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Speaker 2: cheating on me until years later. She told me that

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Speaker 2: it made her feel even worse because she didn't know

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Speaker 2: what emotional cheating was at the time, and she thought

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Speaker 2: infidelity was only physical. It actually made me wonder if

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Speaker 2: there are a lot of people that don't really know

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Speaker 2: that they're emotionally cheating. In the end, cheating ruins the

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Speaker 2: cheater and the victim never cheat. It usually is never

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Speaker 2: worth it. You were usually yeah, dang man, Wow, that

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Speaker 2: is the end of that story. My wife cheated on

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Speaker 2: me with her boss. Even though our life was perfect. Well,

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Speaker 2: it ain't perfect no more. My wife thirty six female,

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Speaker 2: and I thirty four male, have our seventh wedding anniversary

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Speaker 2: coming up in less than two weeks. We've been together

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Speaker 2: for more than ten years with no history of fighting

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Speaker 2: or separation. Pure bliss for me.

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Speaker 3: Laughs, family trips, growing businesses, yard projects. Two beautiful young boys.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes for san fran Ganga.

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Speaker 2: And if you.

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Speaker 3: Want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 3: slash okay story time.

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Speaker 2: It's subreddit. And I'm Angie, I'm Sophia.

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Speaker 1: And I'm Keon dressed up as Lelo and we're.

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Speaker 3: Here to give good advice goofully, But we don't have

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Speaker 3: all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We're just gonna guess what we would do in this situation.

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Speaker 2: But let us know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 2: So Opie says, this past year, my wife interviewed at

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Speaker 2: a highly respected long term care facility and was offered

219
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Speaker 2: a high position by the guy who is now her boss.

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Speaker 2: Since taking the job, she has talked very highly of

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Speaker 2: this man and his focus on family success and how

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Speaker 2: he believes in her ability to succeed at the company.

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Speaker 2: Fast forward a few months, and there I sit incredibly

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Speaker 2: suspicious out of recent out of character actions. While this

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00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,439
Speaker 2: new role brings some out of office activities like golf

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Speaker 2: and fundraisers, some of the stuff just stunk. Over time,

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00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,679
Speaker 2: my intuition was screaming that something was wrong. There was

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Speaker 2: a night when.

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Speaker 3: I found myself pacing the house and terror that something

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Speaker 3: had happened to my wife while she was out for

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Speaker 3: drinks and dinner with coworkers after a golf tournament. At

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Speaker 3: one point she said she would be home in an hour,

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Speaker 3: and that came and went, then another than a third.

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Speaker 3: We share our locations on our iPhones because we have

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Speaker 3: two little boys and figured it couldn't hurt to know

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Speaker 3: each other's whereabouts. Her location was stuck in the same place,

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Speaker 3: on the side of a busy road, nowhere near where

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Speaker 3: she said she was going. Her phone kept going to voicemail. Finally,

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Speaker 3: she called to say that she was on her way home.

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Speaker 3: I told her how terrified I was, and she explained

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Speaker 3: that her phone had no battery and she was in

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Speaker 3: a coworker's car without a charger. I attributed it to

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Speaker 3: the new job and her efforts to fit into the

244
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,080
Speaker 3: social scene. Her story added up for the most part.

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00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,440
Speaker 3: The road where her last location was shared wound up

246
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,800
Speaker 3: being on the way to the restaurant they were supposedly at. Still,

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Speaker 3: this disconnected behavior had never happened before. Fast forward a

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Speaker 3: couple of months. My wife has become obsessed with her workouts,

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Speaker 3: her weight, her and wanting a bigger chest. Her morning

250
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,440
Speaker 3: routine in the bathroom has become longer longer. My wife

251
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,720
Speaker 3: is far more fit than your average gym goer. She's

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00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,960
Speaker 3: absolutely gorgeous. A day came in early August when she

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Speaker 3: invited her boss and some coworkers over to our house

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Speaker 3: for daytime drinks. I thought to myself, I finally get

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Speaker 3: to meet this amazing boss. They arrived, and that's when

256
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Speaker 3: everything hit me. This guy, while much older than me,

257
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,400
Speaker 3: is handsome for his age sixty.

258
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Speaker 2: But somehow incredibly awkward.

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Speaker 3: Oh not once did he look me in the eye,

260
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Speaker 3: and when I shook his hand, it was soaked with sweat.

261
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:37,200
Speaker 3: That's when my intuition screamed again, steering my suspicions towards him.

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Speaker 3: He didn't stay long and barely interacted with my wife.

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Speaker 3: He asked me what high school I went to while

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Speaker 3: looking in another direction. He drank an adult soda and left.

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Speaker 2: In the days leading up to the morning race, my

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Speaker 2: wife had been talking about getting drinks with her friend

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Speaker 2: leader that night to celebrate a birthday. When her coworker

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00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,440
Speaker 2: left for the day, she decided she was going to go.

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Speaker 2: She went upstairs, dolled herself up, and came down looking off.

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Speaker 2: She kissed me goodbye and left for a bar on

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Speaker 2: the east side of town. Less than an hour went by,

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Speaker 2: and I thought it was weird that she never texted

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Speaker 2: to let me know she got there. I pulled up

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Speaker 2: her location to see that she made it okay, and

275
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,880
Speaker 2: to my utter confusion, her location was showing at work,

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Speaker 2: not exactly the office she works at, but a building

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Speaker 2: tucked away across the street from her main building, one

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Speaker 2: she's never mentioned working in. She came home not long after,

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Speaker 2: awkwardly over smiling as she greeted me on the couch.

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Speaker 2: She was gone for about an hour max. She kept

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Speaker 2: telling me how much she left me. She hopped on

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Speaker 2: top of me and we made love. For a split second,

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00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:39,040
Speaker 2: I thought, is it possible she was just with someone

284
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Speaker 2: else less than ten minutes ago. You're right, no way,

285
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Speaker 2: I convinced myself. She parked there to make a call

286
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Speaker 2: or something.

287
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,840
Speaker 3: Over the next few weeks, things seemed fine, and I

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00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,080
Speaker 3: somehow put the parking lot incident in the back of

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Speaker 3: my mind. Our sons had been going to summer camp,

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Speaker 3: surprisingly enough, on the campus where she works.

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Speaker 2: Some intense issues.

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Speaker 3: At her job either required me to pick up the

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00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,440
Speaker 3: kids or she'd have coworkers.

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Speaker 2: Guess who watched them for a few minutes.

295
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,520
Speaker 3: I learned of many times that her boss had my

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00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 3: kids in his office, giving them snacks and letting them

297
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,920
Speaker 3: play on his computer. They actually got to know him.

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Speaker 3: We took a week away at the beach with the

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Speaker 3: wife's family. Every day was on the beach, taking the

300
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,120
Speaker 3: kids on bike rides. It was pretty good. We both

301
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,800
Speaker 3: jumped back into a hectic work week, starting with my

302
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,000
Speaker 3: wife asking if I could pick up the kids midweek

303
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,560
Speaker 3: so she could go out with coworkers. I was thrown

304
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,240
Speaker 3: off because it was our eldest son's first day of

305
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,360
Speaker 3: kindergarten and we had just returned from vacation. She said

306
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,520
Speaker 3: one of her female coworkers was having a tough time

307
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,240
Speaker 3: and a divorce and wanted to organize a little golf

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00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,040
Speaker 3: outing followed by dinner to catch the first pre season

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00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,880
Speaker 3: football game during the week of the beach. This plan

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00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,080
Speaker 3: also included her female coworker grabbing a hotel because she

311
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,720
Speaker 3: lives far away. My wife said she was thinking about

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00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,840
Speaker 3: catching up with her there before golf because of the

313
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,080
Speaker 3: rough stuff that she was going through. I thought this

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00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,480
Speaker 3: was really strange, but kept my thoughts inside. I agreed

315
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,560
Speaker 3: to pick up our our kids. Keep in mind, I

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00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,680
Speaker 3: pick my kids up at the after school program at

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00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,240
Speaker 3: my wife's place of work. I work forty minutes away,

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00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,480
Speaker 3: so it was inconvenient given that I'd have to leave

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Speaker 3: my business early to get the kids. The day came,

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00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,720
Speaker 3: we took pictures that morning for our sons first day

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Speaker 3: of kindergarten together. We walked him down together, but she

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00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,640
Speaker 3: was rushing because she didn't want to be late for work.

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Speaker 2: She's usually so invested in stuff like this.

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00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,680
Speaker 3: Later in the day, I barely got out of my

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00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,160
Speaker 3: business in time for the forty five minute drive to

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00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,840
Speaker 3: get the kids. There was a road closure and heavy traffic.

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Speaker 3: I was running late. Everything was against me. As I

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00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,840
Speaker 3: sat in traffic, my mind started racing. This makes no sense.

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00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,880
Speaker 3: Why would she have me get the kids? It was

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00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:45,360
Speaker 3: our eldest's first day. Why is she out tonight? Doesn't

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00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,920
Speaker 3: she want to see him? I panicked because it was

332
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,400
Speaker 3: also the kids first day at the after school program,

333
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,760
Speaker 3: and I knew i'd be late. I called my wife,

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00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,960
Speaker 3: no answer. She knew I was picking them up. Why

335
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,320
Speaker 3: would she ignore my call? Wait, she's going to a

336
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:04,720
Speaker 3: hotel before golf? Am I stupid? Nothing's going on? I

337
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:05,760
Speaker 3: feel so weird.

338
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,480
Speaker 2: Oh wait, what did you mean? I'll beuse like, wait

339
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:12,120
Speaker 2: a minute's going to hotel? Yeah, no, nothing's going on.

340
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:12,880
Speaker 2: Nothing's going on.

341
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:13,880
Speaker 1: I feel so weird.

342
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,920
Speaker 2: In traffic, I pulled out my phone again, hating what

343
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,560
Speaker 2: I had become with this location tracking. Why is she

344
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 2: doing all this when she knows that you have her location? Yeah,

345
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,680
Speaker 2: that's a silly goose move. Silly goose.

346
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 3: Her location was at a hotel in the city where

347
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,160
Speaker 3: she works and where we live further from the golf

348
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,240
Speaker 3: course than one would expect. There's no way she's there

349
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,200
Speaker 3: with her boss. If she is, I bet they're all

350
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 3: there at the bar, sure op.

351
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,800
Speaker 2: But why a hotel? Great question.

352
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,600
Speaker 3: I called the aftercare number because I couldn't reach my wife.

353
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 3: The staff said, no need to panic, the kids would

354
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,800
Speaker 3: be fine, just take my time. Coincidentally, my GPS had

355
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 3: me exiting right near the hotel she was at. As

356
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,720
Speaker 3: I continued closing in ten minutes late for pickup and

357
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 3: stupidly watching her location while driving, her location started moving.

358
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,520
Speaker 3: She was by some wild stroke of chance with the

359
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:06,480
Speaker 3: traffic jams the particular hotel and my route, she drove

360
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,160
Speaker 3: by in the opposite direction, getting onto.

361
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:14,000
Speaker 2: The Highhoh wait, like you saw her pass you? Yeah? Panicking,

362
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 2: I didn't see her car or her bosses. I was

363
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,160
Speaker 2: trying not to drive off the road. I missed her.

364
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,840
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so maybe you saw her location?

365
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 1: Go?

366
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. She must have been in that

367
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 2: room for an hour. Denial and guilt set in. I

368
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:31,040
Speaker 2: felt awful for tracking her, but tried to justify it

369
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 2: through the horrible feelings inside me. I picked the kids

370
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 2: up late, still frazzled and terrified that this could be real.

371
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 2: She still hadn't called me back. My kids felt so

372
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 2: dependent in my hands, and I was terrified for them.

373
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,120
Speaker 2: Finally she texted back. After we got home. I sent

374
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Speaker 2: her a picture of us hanging out. Her response, gosh,

375
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:54,000
Speaker 2: I love you guys, lyart lyart lyart Before bed, the

376
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 2: kids and I face timed her, something we don't typically do.

377
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 2: I wanted to so she couldn't avoid showing me who

378
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,640
Speaker 2: she was with. She answered they were at a bar,

379
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:03,880
Speaker 2: but her boss wasn't there.

380
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 3: It seemed maybe she really was at the hotel with

381
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,879
Speaker 3: her female coworker. Then one of my kids asked, where

382
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 3: is SO and so, you know, the guy that gives

383
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,879
Speaker 3: them snacks when they visit.

384
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:18,679
Speaker 2: The camera panned and there he was. No weaving at

385
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,720
Speaker 2: my kids. He's been there all the time.

386
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,159
Speaker 3: He's been there the whole time, and she purposely didn't

387
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 3: show him at first.

388
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,200
Speaker 2: She was trying to keep him out of the shot. Yeah,

389
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. We said good night, and she came

390
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,879
Speaker 2: home an hour later. She was so thankful. I handled everything,

391
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,000
Speaker 2: made dinner and put the kids down. She told me

392
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,480
Speaker 2: how much she loved me, and we had spicy sleep.

393
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 2: I felt so messed up, violated. Three days later, my

394
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,199
Speaker 2: wife and I woke up on a Sunday morning. We

395
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 2: had plans to take the kids hiking. She immediately rolled

396
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 2: over to her phone and then quickly left for her

397
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 2: morning run. I turned on her iPad when we share

398
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,200
Speaker 2: for music. An update had run the night before. As

399
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 2: I opened Apple Music, a text notification popped up. It

400
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,880
Speaker 2: was an emoji filled message from her boss. Good morning, Bay,

401
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 2: it's a beautiful day for a run. I tapped it

402
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 2: without thinking. It opened another message, revealing that she had

403
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,439
Speaker 2: texted him as soon as she woke up. Panic set in.

404
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 3: I deleted the message, but I had seen the smoking

405
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 3: Peo pew.

406
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,679
Speaker 2: Fear, disgust, and violation flooded me. When she returned, I

407
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 2: asked her, what's going on with you and your boss?

408
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,080
Speaker 2: She looked shocked. What nothing?

409
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 3: He's my boss, he's almost sixty. I told her I

410
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 3: saw the text. She said, it's just something we all

411
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 3: call each other, and he and I are in a

412
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 3: friendly Apple Watch competition.

413
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:43,400
Speaker 2: I told him I was going to run. I walked away, regretting,

414
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 2: not waiting to catch more. I didn't want to keep

415
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 2: spying though I was desperate for her to come clean.

416
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 2: We awkwardly drove to our hike. She was weird the

417
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 2: whole time. We finished a quiet hike with the kids.

418
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:57,160
Speaker 2: They passed out on the ride back, and I brought

419
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 2: the morning text message up again. I told her that

420
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 2: it was unliving me and that the fact someone texted

421
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 2: her first thing on a Sunday morning said everything about

422
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,680
Speaker 2: what was on his mind. She immediately agreed it looked bad,

423
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 2: having clearly thought about it all day. She denied that

424
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 2: anything was going on, though. Later that night we talked

425
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 2: again over a bottle of wine. I hoped it might

426
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,359
Speaker 2: bring more out, but no luck, just more denial and

427
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:28,160
Speaker 2: reassurance of no wrongdoing. Almost three weeks later, everything collapsed. Yeah.

428
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 2: I mean it's been collapsing for a while. Yeah, like

429
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,720
Speaker 2: all of the foundations are just eating away. It's been

430
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 2: like Jenga this whole time. Yeah, a little bit in

431
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 2: the now, it's just like final peace.

432
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 1: YEP.

433
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 2: I woke up that Saturday with the gut wrenching visions

434
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 2: of my wife with someone else. It was the morning

435
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,400
Speaker 2: of one of the biggest events my company hosts all year,

436
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 2: and I couldn't shake the thoughts. The hotel incident had

437
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 2: been unliving me for weeks. My wife left for the

438
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 2: gym with our kids that we used to do together,

439
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,639
Speaker 2: and I left for work. In the chaos of setting

440
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 2: up a major event, all this was boiling inside me.

441
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: I wanted to know the truth. I tried to do

442
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 2: something I'd been waiting to do for almost three weeks.

443
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,480
Speaker 2: I called the hotel, praying that if I was given

444
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 2: any kind of information, it would reveal her female coworker

445
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 2: had booked the room. I hung up on the second

446
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 2: ring on second thought, I didn't want to know, or

447
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 2: maybe I already did. The next day, Sunday morning, we

448
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 2: had plans to go to her brothers for football. I

449
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 2: had to run into work to deal with event. Aftermath,

450
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 2: she left for the gym, planning to pick me up later.

451
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,440
Speaker 2: I started packing up and looked over at her iPad.

452
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 2: It was practically screaming at me, do it. Maybe there's

453
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,439
Speaker 2: something there. I opened it and sat down, feeling so

454
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 2: wrong for doing this, but also knowing I had been

455
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: so much more wronged. She had figured out how to

456
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 2: sign out of iCloud and stop texts from coming in.

457
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,239
Speaker 2: That was an obvious sign of hiding something I liked

458
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 2: at her boss's contact card and saw she was sharing

459
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,439
Speaker 2: her location on and off with him the night before.

460
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: I opened her photo stream. Nothing strange. Then I scrolled

461
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 2: two deleted photos. Yeah, oh, there they were underwear photos

462
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,919
Speaker 2: taken the day after we returned from vacation and the

463
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 2: morning before her return to work.

464
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,199
Speaker 3: I can only assume she sent them to her boss

465
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,439
Speaker 3: because I didn't get them. This was far out of

466
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 3: her typical comfort zone. Then I saw an accidental screenshot

467
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 3: of a text exchange with her boss the day before

468
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,440
Speaker 3: the hotel That just was them planning to have lunch

469
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,640
Speaker 3: or something, surrounded by hearts. The punter from him read,

470
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 3: I've been waiting to see you since last Friday when

471
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 3: you left.

472
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 2: I'm waiting for you, babe. Did they all call each

473
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 2: other babe in the workplace too. Doesn't seem very professional

474
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 2: to me. It seems pretty not professional, not at all.

475
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 2: I checked her browsing history. She had googled how to

476
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 2: say one more day in Spanish.

477
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 3: She looked it up on the day of those photos,

478
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 3: right before espon. It reminded me of how she used

479
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 3: to flirt with me more than ten years ago. Someone

480
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 3: else got to experience that.

481
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 2: Now. I'm sorry she flirts with you, but it seems

482
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 2: like none of you are Spanish, then you can probably

483
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 2: well maybe just the boss. Well, because it sounds like

484
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 2: she's oh, he is saying that. Oh, that's how she

485
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 2: used to flirt with him, being like she's Spanish. Yeah,

486
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 2: she's like, oh, yo Kierro.

487
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 1: She's like yo yo wanto uo.

488
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 2: May amo to cubase.

489
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 1: She's like guacamole.

490
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 2: He's like, wow, she said the sweetest things to me.

491
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 2: It's obssive when we were young. I was absolutely convinced.

492
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 2: At this point, my two months of denial had no

493
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 2: fight left in them. My life was about to change forever.

494
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 2: I tested a business partner of Miuy and he also

495
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 2: happens to be one of the top divorce attorneys in

496
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 2: the state. He called me right away.

497
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 3: I walked him through what had happened as best I

498
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 3: could in a panicked state. He calmed me down and

499
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:00,959
Speaker 3: said the only thing to do was to get her

500
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 3: alone and put all the cards on the table. After

501
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 3: speaking with my attorney, we eventually headed home. Nothing was said.

502
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 3: The tension was unbearable. Finally, after I was sure the

503
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 3: kids were asleep, I sat and waited in the kitchen.

504
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 3: I asked her, where's our marriage headed? I told her

505
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 3: that she and her boss had something going on, and

506
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 3: that the information I had was indisputable. She broke down,

507
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 3: but there were no tears. Before admitting anything, she started

508
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 3: saying that she had felt disconnect from me this summer.

509
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 3: The first incident happened in early June. These had been

510
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 3: going on all summer since she started working with him.

511
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 3: She went on to say that they spent time together,

512
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 3: but didn't admit to anything more.

513
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 2: I asked her directly, have you had spicy sleep with him?

514
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 1: She said no.

515
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 2: I asked, has anything happened again? No? Fire. I pressed further.

516
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,879
Speaker 2: She finally admitted they kissed. I let it sink in

517
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 2: Where I asked? She hesitated after work? Where I pushed

518
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: again She couldn't answer. I said, was it at a hotel?

519
00:24:59,320 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 1: She said?

520
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: Yes? Was he there? Yes? Was your coworker there? No,

521
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 2: So you went to a hotel with your boss and kissed? Yes,

522
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 2: but that was it. We just we just rent to

523
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 2: kiss and hold hands. We just rented out a hotel. Yeah,

524
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 2: kiss and hold hands. That's all something we could only

525
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 2: do behind closed doors, behind closed doors, with one hundred

526
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 2: dollars night. Yep, that's all I told her. Adults don't

527
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 2: go to hotels and kiss.

528
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 3: She didn't deny it, but claimed she couldn't bring herself

529
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 3: to go through with it, like that mattered now. Then

530
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 3: it hit me, Wait, you asked me to leave my

531
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 3: job early to pick up our children from the after

532
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 3: school program at the place you work with this guy,

533
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,919
Speaker 3: so that you could leave early to go to a

534
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 3: hotel where you two planned to have spicy sleep on

535
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 3: our son's first day of kindergarten.

536
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 2: Not the first day kindergarten. Not the first day. My goodness,

537
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 2: was probably just really nervous. She's just so nervous, like,

538
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 2: oh what if the kids school? Or meant to him right?

539
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 2: I got out of sleep with my boss. I'm gonna

540
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 2: have kids teacher if I oh ah. The conversation went

541
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 2: nowhere but deeper into heck. We went to bed and

542
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 2: she cuddled me, and it was disgusting. I felt infected, violated, ruined,

543
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 2: and motionless. I laid awake for three hours, then went

544
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 2: online searching for success stories of couples who came back

545
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 2: from this. There were none.

546
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 3: It was all advice about how to accept the situation

547
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 3: and move on, regardless of money, kids, or history. I

548
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 3: started contemplating divorce, but realized I had been awake all night,

549
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 3: shattered and sleepless. She woke and asked what I was doing.

550
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 3: I had no answer. Then I asked about the parking

551
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 3: lot incident, the one that first sparked my suspicions.

552
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 2: She admitted meeting him there, but said that they only

553
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 2: talked in the car. Another detail left out, another lie exposed.

554
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 2: While I've lost her, I still have them. Finally, I

555
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 2: pulled together and went downstairs to make coffee. She had

556
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 2: no idea what I would do. At one point during

557
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 2: the night, I told her I didn't think that I

558
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 2: could get over this. Everything we had built together felt

559
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 2: like nothing. She said she wanted nothing more than our children,

560
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 2: our marriage, and our life and apparently your boss. She

561
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 2: promised to cancel her upcoming business trip to California with

562
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 2: him and withdraw from the program that forced them to

563
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 2: work closely together. They would now be on opposite sides

564
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: of the building. None of this really means much to me.

565
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 2: The thought of splitting up is more painful than the

566
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 2: thought of living with this. Right now, I can't focus.

567
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 2: I can't work, I can't eat. Do I let the

568
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 2: dust settle? Do we try to make this work? Is

569
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 2: counseling worth a shot? How can I possibly trust her again?

570
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 2: This was the cruelest thing ever done to me. It

571
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 2: is life ruining, and she did it without any awareness

572
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 2: of that. How can we possibly still be in love?

573
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 2: She says she loves me. Are the months of lies

574
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 2: worse than the act itself? She definitely had spicy sleep.

575
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: With this man. Of course she did.

576
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 3: There is no way she can prove otherwise. Does she

577
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,440
Speaker 3: need to see a psychiatrist? How did I miss this?

578
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 3: This is not the person I'm married or the person

579
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 3: I know. Where did this reckless fool come from? Do

580
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,360
Speaker 3: I tell the boss's wife? Do I tell her parents

581
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,199
Speaker 3: whom I'm close with? Do I inform her work? And

582
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 3: that is the end of that story.

583
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get

584
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

585
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

586
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 5: My mother demanded me to study law to become her

587
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 5: divorce lawyer.

588
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 2: Whoa Mommy said, I'm not paying full price.

589
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 5: Right after I graduated from high school, I went to

590
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 5: law school.

591
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: I was excited and my mom even more.

592
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 5: I did well on my first year and was even

593
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 5: praised by professors and classmates. Everything seemed like it could

594
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 5: go well. By the way, This comes from user vibia

595
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 5: heathen Witch, and if you want to submit your own

596
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 5: stories like this, go to our slash okay story time

597
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 5: on the subreddit.

598
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 2: I am Matt, and I'm Savannah and I'm Carly.

599
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 5: We're here to give you good advice goofully, but we

600
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 5: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

601
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 5: would do, So let us know what you would do

602
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 5: in the comments. Oh p says, However, my second year

603
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 5: was harder and my mind was so tired, and I

604
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 5: started to not do so great. I went from excellent

605
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 5: to good to average to a disaster. Every bad grade

606
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 5: made me spiral and depressed, and the more depressed I got,

607
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,239
Speaker 5: the worse I was doing at university. My mom was

608
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 5: not well, telling me that if I didn't do well,

609
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 5: I would be a failure.

610
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: In life, just like my dad. Oh my god, my god.

611
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 5: I stopped telling her how I was doing or what

612
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 5: my grades were. She didn't stop there, though. She managed

613
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 5: to make a friend of hers who was a math

614
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,719
Speaker 5: teacher at the same university look into the system and

615
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 5: get my grades, and she exploded at me, this seems

616
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 5: highly illegal.

617
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: WHOA.

618
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 5: This started a long period of nearly daily screaming matches

619
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 5: and I was way too depressed. I ended up repeating

620
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 5: my second year, which was terrible. I was ashamed. I

621
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 5: tried to be a ghost in the classroom, stopped doing

622
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 5: anything extra, and was just so very depressed. The situation

623
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 5: with my mom got way worse as I was clearly

624
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 5: not doing well in any sense. I ended up repeating

625
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 5: that year again, so I was no longer allowed to

626
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 5: sign up at the university. This is the start of

627
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 5: my mom calling me a failure for years and comparing

628
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 5: me to literally anyone who is younger than me and

629
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 5: already graduated from UNI. Now she's even comparing me to

630
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 5: children doing robotics in their school with a government plan,

631
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 5: just to point out that I failed in life. Now

632
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 5: for the title. My mom was cheated on by my

633
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 5: dad when I was a child. It was a very

634
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 5: traumatic experience because my dad got very violent. My dad

635
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 5: is still living with his affair partner, and she made

636
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 5: sure to gold dig all she could with my dad.

637
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 5: My dad even got put her on law school in

638
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 5: another state and she became a lawyer. I should have

639
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 5: said earlier that my dad is a very well known,

640
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 5: very successful lawyer.

641
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: When we live. That would have been a good context.

642
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 5: My mom rages at the fact that my dad had

643
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 5: to put her off his affair partner in law school

644
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 5: and takes it on me, saying that why I didn't

645
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 5: do it, because that be word did it. Besides all this,

646
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 5: my mom had never divorced my dad. They had been

647
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 5: going back and forth three years. I usually say that,

648
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 5: but it's because none of them would agree on a

649
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 5: divorce term that wouldn't be something like leaving the other

650
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 5: one on the street. Also, my country's stupid laws have

651
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 5: some fault At the time, you needed to prove that

652
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,719
Speaker 5: you were separated, in no contact for at least two years,

653
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 5: and other crap like that. Well, fifteen years went on

654
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 5: and no divorce until last year when my dad used

655
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 5: a relatively new law that allows one sided divorce for

656
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 5: lack of affection and they finally got divorced, mostly because

657
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 5: my mom could not legally challenge it. But there still

658
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 5: needed to be a trial for the marital properties that

659
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 5: still haven't happened. In the divorce lawsuit that we received.

660
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 5: My dad's a fair partner figured as his lawyer, and

661
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 5: my mom was raging. Here's where she said, if you

662
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 5: had finished law school, you could have been my lawyer.

663
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 5: It's not the first time that my mom has said this.

664
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 5: In fact, she used to see it quite often when

665
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 5: I was at UNI. But I knew for sure that

666
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 5: I didn't want to go the civil path or the

667
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 5: criminal path because I didn't want to deal with other

668
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 5: people's personal dramas or to deal with criminals.

669
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: I also have voiced it quite often.

670
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 5: I was interested in constitutional slash public law, even copyright law.

671
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 5: Copyright wasn't a class, but I was doing well in

672
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 5: my public law classes. I told my mom I would

673
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 5: have never been a lawyer. I wouldn't touch your case

674
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 5: with a thirty nine and a half a poll, to

675
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 5: which she proceeded to rant about how much of a

676
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 5: trader I am, leaving her to deal with a divorce

677
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 5: on her own. It's your divorce, mom, it's not my divorce.

678
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, why is she like involving opian?

679
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 4: I hate that when like parents are you know, you

680
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 4: go through the divorce and everything, and then not only

681
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 4: I mean, maybe they're blaming it on you know, op

682
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 4: or whatever. But they also involve them in it, and

683
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 4: it's like, uh, like that's just so messy and that's.

684
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 2: So much trauma for ope. I mean, come on.

685
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: Like, divorce is very difficult on kids.

686
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 5: Imagine it being like a normal divorce, and now you're

687
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 5: expected to be your parents divorce lawyer.

688
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, and now you have to like choose a side

689
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 4: basically and then speak badly about one while also not

690
00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 4: putting your personal feelings in there and opinions and like, yeah,

691
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 4: he said this, I witnessed it. But I also everything

692
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 4: would be here saying like that.

693
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: I don't understand.

694
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 2: It would all be hearsay, right.

695
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 5: It's also it's like none of these people are good,

696
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 5: Like the mom is awful, the dad's someone who cheated.

697
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, put the affair.

698
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 5: Partner through law school instead of child. I was often

699
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 5: told that's between your parents and you should not have

700
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 5: a say in it. This enrages me because I was

701
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 5: always in the middle of it. I was weaponized by

702
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 5: both of them for years. I was told daily by

703
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 5: my mom that if I didn't do well in school,

704
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,239
Speaker 5: I would be a low life like my dad. I

705
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 5: was subjected to constantly being compared to my dad to

706
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 5: put me down. I was used as a messenger in

707
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 5: between them because they refused to talk to each other.

708
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 5: Even when my dad finally filed for divorce, the court

709
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 5: called me because they couldn't reach my mom.

710
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 1: There's a relevant update. But how you feel in Savannah

711
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 1: on this?

712
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 4: Honestly, Matt, I feel like it just sucks to put

713
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 4: ope in that. I really don't like when parents do that,

714
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 4: like going through like a divorce. Like I've seen like

715
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:05,719
Speaker 4: healthy divorces, but I've also seen like horrible divorces, and

716
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 4: like this is definitely classified as like one of those messy, messy,

717
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 4: horrible like let's put our child up to this, Like

718
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 4: that has nothing to do with the situation.

719
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,879
Speaker 2: They're like, figure it out for us.

720
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy, You're causing harm in the divorce.

721
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

722
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 5: My mom literally said for years that she wanted me

723
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 5: to go to law school so I can be her

724
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 5: divorce lawyer. But now that I'm in the second half

725
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 5: of my twenties, that's when I'm told that I should

726
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 5: have nothing to do with their marital problems, when since

727
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 5: I was a child, they made it my problem too.

728
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 5: Any advice, please, and the comments are I work at

729
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 5: a college and what that teacher did is extremely against

730
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,800
Speaker 5: the rules. They could get fired for sharing that information.

731
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:42,959
Speaker 1: With your mother.

732
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 5: I would suggest reporting it to the registrar. That is

733
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 5: not okay. Ohpi said he no longer works at the

734
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 5: university because he has emigrated. I'm not sure if it

735
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 5: is illegal in my country. But if I had known

736
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 5: at the time, I would have complained at the university

737
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 5: at the time.

738
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: Comment too. Maybe I missed this in the post.

739
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 5: Do you live with your your mother needs to pay

740
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 5: up a hobby like car crushing out.

741
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: To get some of her issues out. Yes, I live

742
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:04,399
Speaker 1: with my mom.

743
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,280
Speaker 5: I want to be able to go to another city

744
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 5: and start from scratch away from her, but I need

745
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 5: money for that, which you're not going to have if

746
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 5: you're paying for law school. Yep, reply, is dad willing

747
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 5: to help you? Ok How will a dad that doesn't

748
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 5: even pay child support help me?

749
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: Now? Okay?

750
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 4: So there's a lot of layers. So he pays for

751
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 4: the affair. Is that how you said affair a fair partner?

752
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 2: Thank you? I like how that was a universal thing

753
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 2: that I just did not know universe.

754
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 4: I like how he pays for the universal partner's law degree,

755
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,760
Speaker 4: but won't pay for the daughter, probably because he wants

756
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:46,839
Speaker 4: to put the partner and the daughter up against each

757
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 4: other and be like fight fight fight.

758
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like that.

759
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 2: Just I mean, this is all just.

760
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,879
Speaker 1: He's here for the drama. Yeah, that's what it's there.

761
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 4: But then also, like you know, they said that the

762
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,879
Speaker 4: affair partner will like a gold digger, so like he

763
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 4: has money.

764
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 2: I'm guessing he's a Rome.

765
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 5: Lawyer in their area, so he's got the dough he

766
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 5: could if he wanted to.

767
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:10,919
Speaker 1: Very easy.

768
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 5: Yes, if your dad is a very well known, very

769
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 5: successful lawyer, how would failing out of law school make

770
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 5: you a low life like your dad? It seems like

771
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 5: the best way to turn out to be like your

772
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 5: dad would be to graduate from law school. Ohpi says,

773
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,760
Speaker 5: I don't expect consistency with her. She can contradict herself

774
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 5: in seconds. But basically, my dad doesn't wear suits and

775
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 5: he dresses like a homeless by the way, he lives

776
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 5: in a farm where I was raised when I was little,

777
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 5: in one of the hottest areas of the country. He's

778
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 5: a fair partner if and family were very low income

779
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 5: in simple small town.

780
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,800
Speaker 1: People, And yes, she is a one percent a gold digger.

781
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 5: But yeah, these are the reasons why I think my

782
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 5: mom keeps calling him a low life.

783
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 1: Reply. So she's broke. So she's a broke gold digger.

784
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 5: But somehow went through law school quicker than you and

785
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 5: was allowed to represent her affair partner in a divorce

786
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 5: case without interning at a firm first.

787
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,280
Speaker 1: She was just allowed to oversee a case herself.

788
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 5: OPI. She lives with my dad. The university she went

789
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 5: to in another state is free. She didn't go through

790
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 5: law school quicker than me. She started before I started.

791
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: Here.

792
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 5: In my country, you need to register as a lawyer

793
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 5: after graduation, and after that you have free professional exercise,

794
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 5: which means you can do what your title allows you

795
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 5: to do. If you want to do more stuff, you

796
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 5: can do a master's. So no, no need to internet

797
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 5: a law firm. In fact, there are very few law

798
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 5: firms here. Yes, it is unethical, but technically not illegal

799
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,360
Speaker 5: since my dad and her his affair partner are not

800
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 5: legally married. Trying to make an ethics complaint at a

801
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 5: small town court in this country. Wow, your mom made

802
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,720
Speaker 5: it her life mission to destroy you because she couldn't

803
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 5: destroy your dad.

804
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.

805
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: I'm like a man.

806
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's crazy, Like why why do you have to

807
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 4: destroy your daughter's life because like your life didn't turn

808
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 4: out the way you wanted it. Oh well, my daughters

809
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 4: won't either, And I'm gonna put her in my position,

810
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,760
Speaker 4: like make her pay for what?

811
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 2: What does she do? And OPI did nothing?

812
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 1: I feel so bad for OPI.

813
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 5: I want to give a hug for not being my

814
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,280
Speaker 5: divorce lawyer, but for you could even practice law right,

815
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 5: she succeeded. Now she has her punching bag, still living

816
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 5: at home like she wants.

817
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:10,240
Speaker 1: You're in your late twenties.

818
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 5: Time to pick yourself up, move out, find your own

819
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,280
Speaker 5: path to happiness in life. Mom doesn't care about your happiness.

820
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 5: She only cares about how she can use you to

821
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 5: make her life better. She was passed away set on

822
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 5: you being a lawyer. Yeah, that's one of the choices

823
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 5: a parent makes when they are looking for a retirement plan.

824
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 5: What your dad did to your mom was wrong, no

825
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 5: doubt about that. That does not in any way justify

826
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,720
Speaker 5: what she has done to you. A parent should protect

827
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 5: their children. She did the exact opposite. She weaponized and

828
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 5: destroyed you. Yeah, she did, and that is the end

829
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 5: of those comments.

830
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 4: My stepmother didn't mend in an apology after she evicted me.

831
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,240
Speaker 1: I refused, sorry not sorry.

832
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 4: I twenty seven female, got into a fight with my stepmother,

833
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,439
Speaker 4: sixty something female several months ago.

834
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: She told me she doesn't.

835
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 4: Want to talk to me, so I've been respecting that

836
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 4: for over eight months now. My dad at sixty two

837
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 4: mail is telling me she wants an apology for me.

838
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:04,720
Speaker 2: But I didn't start the fight.

839
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Aroboros ninety eight.

840
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 2: I'm sure I said that right. And if you want

841
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the Okay story

842
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 2: time subreddit. I am Savannah, I'm Matt, and I'm Carly,

843
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 2: and we're here to give you some good advice. Goofley,

844
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 2: But we do not have all the answers. We only

845
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 2: know what we do in this situation. So let us

846
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 2: know what you do and the comments. As op says,

847
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:34,240
Speaker 2: my mother call her gene is a manipulative, self absorbed person,

848
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,400
Speaker 2: which led to my parents' divorce when I was sixteen.

849
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 4: More important to the story, it led to my becoming

850
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:46,919
Speaker 4: disabled PTSD major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, chronic pain

851
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 4: and more, on top of the frontal lobe malformation, EIGHTYHD

852
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:54,399
Speaker 4: and suspected autism I was born with. Gene has made

853
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 4: me deeply overprotective of my dad since the divorce. As

854
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 4: I'm disabled. I have never been able to work and

855
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:04,959
Speaker 4: lived with my dad until he remarried about nine years

856
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 4: after my parents' divorce to my stepmother Dina. He moved

857
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 4: into her late father's house with her, leaving me in

858
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 4: our previous home alone. At first, I was a static

859
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 4: that my dad finally found someone new that made him happy.

860
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 4: I did everything I could to get along with Dina,

861
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 4: laughing at her jokes, giving her thoughtful gifts, partaking in

862
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 4: her hobbies even if I hated them, providing paid and

863
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:30,439
Speaker 4: unpaid labor, helping her sort through her father's estate. Dina

864
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 4: has always been dismissive of my disabilities. She was also

865
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 4: very insecure and jealous of Jane, constantly asking my dad

866
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 4: if he'd go back to her and asking me why

867
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 4: I don't talk to her, forgive her or get over it.

868
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 4: That was because our first fight, we were at my

869
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 4: grandma's and the TV was doing a news segment about

870
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 4: children's rights. I said something about how I think that's

871
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 4: messed up, and she looked me, passed away in the

872
00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:01,800
Speaker 4: eyes and said, children don't have rights. I walked outside

873
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 4: to calm down. After about thirty minutes, I went back

874
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,879
Speaker 4: in and asked her to come speak to me outside.

875
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 4: I said, I just want you to know I really

876
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 4: didn't appreciate that and found it offensive. She snapped and

877
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 4: ripped into me, yelling about how Gene is my mother

878
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 4: and I need to get over what she did, how it's.

879
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 2: Been so long.

880
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 4: Apparently Dina had been cheated on by a guy she

881
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 4: is adamant she was not dating two years before she

882
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 4: met my dad. She'd been taking this out on my dad,

883
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 4: being suspicious, checking his phone constantly. So I said, then,

884
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 4: why don't you get over this guy you weren't dating.

885
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 4: She turned red, started crying, stormed off, got in her car,

886
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 4: and left, stranding me miles from home. Neither of us

887
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:51,879
Speaker 4: ever apologized. After about a month, Dad and I sat

888
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 4: her down and explained everything, clarifying that Jeanne was out

889
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 4: of the picture. Our second major fight was about Gene again.

890
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 4: My dad, Dina, and I were at a restaurant for

891
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 4: my birthday. Dina has this rule about no phones at

892
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 4: the table, which affects my disabilities because my phone is

893
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 4: my only copy mechanism for panic attacks. We sat in

894
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 4: passed away awkward silence for several minutes. I asked, what

895
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 4: should we talk about? Dina said, I just don't understand

896
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 4: why you don't talk to your mother.

897
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 2: I picked my phone up and set it on the table.

898
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 4: She said, I already told you if I saw a

899
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 4: phone on the table, I would leave. She shoved my

900
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 4: dad out of the way, grabbed her purse, and stormed

901
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 4: out of the car.

902
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 2: Drama. I mean, yikes, this.

903
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 5: Is not a mature adult. This is not a mature adult,

904
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 5: not at all.

905
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 1: I'm like God.

906
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 4: My dad sat back down with me. We chatted, then

907
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 4: played on our phones until the food came. Dad had

908
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 4: her food boxed up. We ate our meals, got dessert,

909
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 4: then went back to the car. Dad started the car

910
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 4: and she started in on me again about all the

911
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 4: ways I owed her apologizes.

912
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: Did she just sit in the car the entire's eyes?

913
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 2: That's I was wondering. I was like, how long did

914
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 2: they like? Did they like spend like hours?

915
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: Well? I would have taken my time eating. Hey, where's

916
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:06,320
Speaker 1: the wine?

917
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 6: Man?

918
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,760
Speaker 1: You give me the bottle dessert. Oh, let me take five.

919
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:11,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then.

920
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 5: Let me let me actually order another entree to go

921
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 5: take your time.

922
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,279
Speaker 2: Could you imagine she's in the car steaming. She's like,

923
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 2: I can't wait till they come back in here. I'm

924
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 2: just gonna right into her.

925
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:25,880
Speaker 1: She falls asleep waiting, and she's like, she wakes up

926
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 1: there back home already.

927
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,359
Speaker 4: I missed my part, all right, She said I needed

928
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 4: to apologize and pay her back four hundred dollars she

929
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 4: paid me to paint her late father's house. She fired

930
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 4: me after thirty two hours of the agreed forty but

931
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 4: I worked several days for free, sorting through her father's warehouse.

932
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 4: I even broke my finger. I told her no, after

933
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 4: decades of therapy, I do not apologize for something I

934
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,720
Speaker 4: did not do, something outside of my control, or something

935
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 4: I would do again. I only apologize for raising my voice.

936
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 4: I am the only one who has ever apologized for

937
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 4: anything between us. The third fight was after she took

938
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:07,759
Speaker 4: my dad for a surprise trip to North Dakota on

939
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:11,399
Speaker 4: his sixtieth birthday without telling anyone in the family. This

940
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,400
Speaker 4: ruined the plans already made for the party, left everyone

941
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 4: deeply concerned when no one could reach him and left

942
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 4: his twin sister completely alone on their birthday for the

943
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 4: first time ever. Everyone had to rearrange schedules to replan

944
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 4: the party an entire week later, food and cake wasted,

945
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 4: work schedules ruined. They came back, We had the party,

946
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:34,879
Speaker 4: and everyone was respectful. No one mentioned how inconsiderate her

947
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 4: gift was, but Dina kept saying, I feel like you

948
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 4: guys are mad at me. The third time, I tried

949
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 4: to be honest, I said, I just think it might

950
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 4: have been nice to let someone know. Dina went off, Oh,

951
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 4: I knew you hated me. I just wanted to do

952
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 4: something nice. She wouldn't let anyone get a word in.

953
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 4: I said, it was my dad's sixtieth birthday. I kind

954
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 4: of wanted to spend time with him. Dina came back angry,

955
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 4: he's none of your her business.

956
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 2: What what do you mean that's my dad.

957
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 4: He's none of your business.

958
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,760
Speaker 2: What crazy statement from Dina. This is not a well woman,

959
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 2: He's none of your business. Oh, Grandma's coming in.

960
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 4: Grandma said, this is our tradition, and I already had

961
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 4: everything planned.

962
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 2: Dina shot back, He married me he's mine now.

963
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 4: My Grandma started to cry. I mean, this woman's horrible.

964
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 4: She was making an old woman who had just lost

965
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 4: her husband of sixty five years song, good God. I

966
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 4: went to Grandma and gave her a hug. My dad

967
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:40,240
Speaker 4: finally dragged Dina out. No apologies from Dina. They eventually

968
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 4: settled for multiple millions.

969
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 2: What hold on? Wait?

970
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 1: Where was the lawsuit in there?

971
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:50,399
Speaker 2: Yeah? What does this happened? They eventually sett up for

972
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:54,719
Speaker 2: multiple millions. Grandma decided she wanted to see her inheritance

973
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,879
Speaker 2: appreciated before she goes. She bought her daughter's houses, paid

974
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 2: off her son's house. Each ended up with roughly three

975
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty thousand dollars. She then turned to my

976
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 2: dad and said, what do you want? Eventually they settled

977
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: on replacing the old trailer I.

978
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 4: Live in whoa everyone else gets a house and she

979
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:17,359
Speaker 4: gets a trailer, Like I'd be like, uh, I'll take

980
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 4: the house maybe, or even a boat. I'd live in

981
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:23,399
Speaker 4: a boat. Maybe, I don't know. This just doesn't seem fair,

982
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 4: but Dina hated this. Her dad had passed away one

983
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:31,839
Speaker 4: month after my grandpa. She was her father's only inheritor

984
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:35,279
Speaker 4: and he was very wealthy. She has millions of her own.

985
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 4: She said, I don't want to hear about it. My

986
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 4: dad is both very literal and very petty, so he

987
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 4: zipped it. Nothing, no info to her. They went up

988
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 4: to another state visiting her kids. He said nothing. Meanwhile,

989
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 4: I was babysitting their dogs plus my own cats and

990
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 4: retired service dog free of charge. Three weeks later, he

991
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 4: came back down. She stayed up while she was gone.

992
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:02,280
Speaker 4: I picked my new house, found a trailer on sale

993
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 4: forty thousand dollars off. Grandma signed all the papers. Dina

994
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 4: knew nothing and was clueless. She eventually came back two

995
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 4: weeks later. I had been keeping her house functioning for

996
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,880
Speaker 4: five weeks. Someone broke a glass before they left, and

997
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,360
Speaker 4: no one told me. So I sliced my foot open

998
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:22,919
Speaker 4: and led across the kitchen hopee, like, I mean, she's

999
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 4: going through it, this poor girl. I missed a single

1000
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 4: small spot when mopping and complaining about what that was

1001
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 4: the first thing she said when she got back. I

1002
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 4: had also made them dinner, but when she found it,

1003
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 4: she asked, what is this dog food?

1004
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? Because you're a oh, you're a witch.

1005
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 2: Witch.

1006
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 4: Eventually Dina turned to me small talk at first. She

1007
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 4: then asked what I'd do at my place. Oh, nothing

1008
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 4: this year, but next year I'll probably do something with

1009
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,720
Speaker 4: the new place. She said, what new place. I didn't

1010
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 4: realize it was a done deal. Yeah, it's done, my

1011
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 4: dad said, My mom signed the papers. It's going in

1012
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 4: two months.

1013
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 2: What why wasn't I told?

1014
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 4: She exclaimed, you said you didn't want to know, my

1015
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 4: dad said, perfectly calm. She started going off on him.

1016
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 4: I immediately jumped in to defend him. Dad grabbed his

1017
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 4: cigarettes and walked out, as one should. Dina turned on me,

1018
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 4: screaming and getting in my face. She said I didn't

1019
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,439
Speaker 4: deserve the new house because I don't work and can't

1020
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 4: even pay for what I have. I said something along

1021
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 4: the lines of not being as entitled, selfish and rude

1022
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 4: as her, And if I'm supposed to work to get paid,

1023
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 4: how come she never pays me to work. I reminded her.

1024
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 4: I just baby sat her dogs for a month straight,

1025
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 4: free of charge. She argued that I owed that to

1026
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 4: my dad because I love him. Then she called me

1027
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 4: a selfish, entitled witch and screamed at me to get

1028
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 4: out of her house. Then my dad walked back in

1029
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,360
Speaker 4: and she started going at him again, saying he was

1030
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 4: a liar. I whipped back around and got in between them.

1031
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 4: Oh oh, I started walking forward to force her to

1032
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,319
Speaker 4: back up away from him, yelling at her that if

1033
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 4: she wanted to blame someone, she should look in the mirror,

1034
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 4: because she explicitly said she didn't want to know. She

1035
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,239
Speaker 4: started calling me a witch and a parasite, saying that

1036
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 4: I'm a burden to my father's happiness, leeching off of him,

1037
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:19,399
Speaker 4: holding him back. My dad chimed in with a watch

1038
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,879
Speaker 4: your mouth, Dina, don't talk to my daughter like that.

1039
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 4: We both ended up in the kitchen and she was

1040
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 4: screaming and yelling so aggressively. She was spitting in my mouth.

1041
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 1: Ew, you just made out with this.

1042
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:39,400
Speaker 4: I no, don't make out with your dad's wife, right right.

1043
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:39,800
Speaker 2: They're married.

1044
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 1: Unfortunate Lisa, they're Mary. Yikes.

1045
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 2: I could actually taste her spit. I mean why.

1046
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 4: I raised one finger, placed it directly between her collarbones,

1047
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:56,280
Speaker 4: and pushed her back one step. I said, you're being

1048
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 4: a seaword. Calm down.

1049
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 2: It had the oppoe effect.

1050
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 5: I mean, I feel like when you tell anyone to

1051
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 5: calm down, it is a Whatton in.

1052
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 1: The opposite direction.

1053
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, once you say calmed down, it's game over.

1054
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 4: Sorry, it had the opposite effect, obviously. She went even

1055
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 4: more feral and started screaming about the police and harmful

1056
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 4: act charges. She whipped her phone out and dialed the nine.

1057
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,840
Speaker 4: Then a familiar look flashed in her eyes.

1058
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 2: She shoved the.

1059
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 4: Phone back and screamed at me and dad to both

1060
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:29,839
Speaker 4: get the f out now. My dad got between us

1061
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 4: and kept raising his voice to tell me to get

1062
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 4: my stuff.

1063
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 2: I finally had enough.

1064
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 4: She needs to know there are consequences to her effie actions.

1065
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 4: Dina has kicked him out three times, only to call

1066
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 4: hours later to beg him to come back. My dad

1067
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 4: led me into the guests bedroom to get my stuff.

1068
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 4: I grabbed as much as I could, but the second

1069
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 4: we walked out, she locked it. She locked her husband

1070
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:54,320
Speaker 4: and his daughter out, with some of my stuff still inside,

1071
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 4: including my service dog.

1072
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 2: Get the dog out of it.

1073
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 4: You come after animals, I come after you. End period

1074
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,319
Speaker 4: statement done. He got most of it and my dog.

1075
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 2: Okay, good, the dog is okay. I loaded the cats

1076
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 2: and he drove me home. Oh the cats are in

1077
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 2: there too. I mean she's like mine.

1078
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 1: Savannahm about to go John Wick on this woman.

1079
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 2: I really am.

1080
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,840
Speaker 4: On the way, he assured me that he loved me

1081
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:18,720
Speaker 4: and he didn't consider me a burden.

1082
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 2: Good Dad, Good Dad. She'd kicked him out again too.

1083
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:24,719
Speaker 4: A couple days later, Dad told me she said the

1084
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 4: only reason she didn't call the police was because she

1085
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 4: couldn't find her phone. Both Dad and I saw her

1086
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 4: pull it out, realized if she actually called, he'd never

1087
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 4: forgive her, and immediately pocketed it. It's been just under

1088
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 4: a year since that fight, and I have not said

1089
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 4: or messaged a single word to her.

1090
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 5: Also, it could be argued if you argued it right.

1091
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 5: I suppose you could argue that because Dina spit on

1092
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 5: her first, that was the initial assault. Yeah, that was

1093
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 5: the start of it, and the aggression these spitting is

1094
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 5: an assault charge.

1095
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,359
Speaker 1: So technically, if you argued it.

1096
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 4: Right, if I'm in the splash zone during an argument,

1097
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 4: I'm getting out of there. If spit, I have an

1098
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 4: irrational fear of things coming from the face. So if

1099
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 4: if your spit got mixed in with my spit, first

1100
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:09,359
Speaker 4: of all, I'm throwing up, and then I'm running out

1101
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 4: of the room.

1102
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 1: Throw it in her mouth please, so.

1103
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 2: I'll be like, you know what, that's what you get.

1104
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 2: You spit my mouth, I spit yards.

1105
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 4: The only contact was we were both at my grandma's

1106
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 4: Christmas party, but never shared a room. On her and

1107
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 4: my dad's anniversary, I sent both a brief group text.

1108
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 4: On her birthday, I told Dad to tell her, I

1109
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:32,280
Speaker 4: said happy birthday.

1110
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 2: She said not to talk to her. So I've respected that.

1111
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,439
Speaker 4: Okay, But now my dad is telling me she wants

1112
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 4: an apology for me for assaulting her and calling her

1113
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 4: a seaword. The only reason I'm even considering it is

1114
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 4: because my dad says he's tired of having to deal

1115
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,200
Speaker 4: with both of us having completely separate relationships with him.

1116
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 4: He wants me to be the bigger person and just

1117
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 4: apologize to get it over with. But at the same time,

1118
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 4: he tells me he doesn't want me to take crap

1119
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:00,479
Speaker 4: from her. I know for a fact she'll just another

1120
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 4: reason to pick a fight with me and we'll go

1121
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 4: through all this BS again. Should I just bite my

1122
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 4: tongue again and apologize for my dad's sake?

1123
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 2: No, then there's an up day.

1124
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 4: Dad and I had our regular family therapy appointment on Thursday,

1125
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,280
Speaker 4: and I read out my post to him and our therapist,

1126
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 4: whoa like the whole thing because that was pretty long.

1127
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 4: How long is your session? Dad said, he understood. He

1128
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 4: told me I definitely don't have to apologize to Diana

1129
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 4: if I don't want to, but he does want me

1130
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 4: to give it another shot with her, the classic bury

1131
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,879
Speaker 4: the hatchet and move on approach. So apparently he's going

1132
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 4: to put his foot down and tell Dina that I

1133
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 4: am going to their annual Halloween party in three weeks

1134
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:40,879
Speaker 4: as soon as she gets back from her two week

1135
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,800
Speaker 4: girl safari trip in Africa.

1136
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:46,280
Speaker 1: What where did that come from?

1137
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,359
Speaker 4: As soon as she gets back from her girl's trip

1138
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 4: in Africa, may the hippopotami trample you and not let

1139
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 4: you come back? Then we can go to where Halloween

1140
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 4: party in three weeks she can come as a skeleton.

1141
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:03,120
Speaker 4: Then her following week long Baltimore vacation. Oh, she was

1142
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 4: going to Africa then Baltimore.

1143
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 1: What a strange transition.

1144
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, nothing I would have ever done.

1145
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 4: So evidently I need to find a costume pretty quickly

1146
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 4: and figure out how I'm going to address the inevitable

1147
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 4: backlash I'm going to catch for this.

1148
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 1: That's true.

1149
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:20,359
Speaker 2: Oh and that's the end.

1150
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,320
Speaker 1: He's johni og host here. We're gonna get back to

1151
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 1: the stories, but he's a quick three minute break of

1152
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 1: ass from our sponsors.

1153
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 2: My roommate lied about a past crazy roommate then turned

1154
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 2: out to be worse. Yes, my sister twenty nine female

1155
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 2: and I twenty two female, have been living in a

1156
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,799
Speaker 2: three bed two bath for a year now. Our mother

1157
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 2: used to live with us, but moved out at the

1158
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 2: beginning of the year. Our at least for nude this

1159
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,879
Speaker 2: month August, and we were originally looking at two bad

1160
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 2: two baths to move into as we didn't need the

1161
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 2: extra room and it'd be cheaper. By the way, this

1162
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 2: comes from Italian vampire and if you want to smit

1163
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

1164
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 2: subur it. I'm Sofia, I'm Carly, and we're here to

1165
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 2: give good advice. You flee, but have all the answers.

1166
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, so let us know

1167
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments, and OP says.

1168
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,839
Speaker 2: In late June, a mutual friend twenty female reached out

1169
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:12,640
Speaker 2: asking if I knew anyone needing a roommate, and I said, Hey,

1170
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 2: why not she had claimed her current roommates were crazy

1171
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 2: and she needed to get away and was basically staying

1172
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 2: at her boyfriend's. I didn't know her too well, but

1173
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 2: my friends did, and they all said it would be

1174
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 2: a great idea. I laid out some ground rules. Clean

1175
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 2: up after yourself, help with chores, give us a heads

1176
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 2: up before inviting people over that we don't know, pay

1177
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 2: rent on time, and don't let the cat outside. Basic

1178
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 2: rules that you'd totally believed to be reasonable and easily followed.

1179
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 2: Right after I went over all of that, she asked

1180
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 2: if her sister eighteen to nineteen female could come stay

1181
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 2: with us, only for a couple of months. This is

1182
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:53,439
Speaker 2: where I may have made the first mistake. I didn't

1183
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 2: want to say no, and I didn't want to leave

1184
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 2: her sister on the streets, so I said yes, as

1185
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 2: long as she abides by those rules. I'd now be

1186
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 2: sharing a bathroom with two other people. I deep cleaned

1187
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 2: the house, sent them videos and photos of the room,

1188
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 2: lent them some old furniture, and eave them and even

1189
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 2: gave them a free month of rent. They moved in

1190
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 2: the first week of July, and immediately after moving in,

1191
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 2: I asked to come into the room just to chat,

1192
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 2: and they were doing substances with the main roommate's boyfriend

1193
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:23,800
Speaker 2: to kind of freaked me out as someone who is sober.

1194
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 2: I told them, eh, hey, don't bring anything of that

1195
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,279
Speaker 2: sort into the house. I don't care what they do

1196
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 2: outside the house, but I want it to be a

1197
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 2: substance free home. Devil's let us is fine considering my

1198
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 2: sister as a medical card. I honestly didn't say it

1199
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 2: in the rules because I didn't think I needed to

1200
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:42,799
Speaker 2: say that. They said it was a one time thing

1201
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:45,960
Speaker 2: to celebrate moving in and continued all night, even when

1202
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 2: I asked them to please respect us. The main roommate

1203
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 2: had also told me that the same day that her

1204
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 2: sister was actually staying until the end of October, not

1205
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 2: the couple of months she had stated before. As forward

1206
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 2: to now, they don't really do their dishes, at least

1207
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 2: for a couple of days. Anytime I've gone into the room,

1208
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:07,920
Speaker 2: it's very messy and nothing is actually unpacked. Despite the

1209
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:10,879
Speaker 2: sister not working very often and being home a lot.

1210
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 2: They leave hair all over the bathroom sink and in

1211
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 2: the shower drain that I have to pull out. The

1212
00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 2: bathroom trash is overflowing, there are tampons and applicators on

1213
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 2: the floor around it. Ugh, they haven't taken out the

1214
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 2: trash or cleaned up after themselves. There are boxes downstairs

1215
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 2: that haven't done anything, and they haven't done anything with them.

1216
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 2: In the past month. The main roommate has not even

1217
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 2: spent a single night here, as she spends all her

1218
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:38,360
Speaker 2: time at her boyfriend's, only coming back to grab clothes

1219
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 2: every three days or so. I voiced my concerns and

1220
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 2: asked them to pick up after themselves and do their dishes.

1221
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:49,200
Speaker 2: But after the first mention, they don't reply and nothing happens.

1222
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,959
Speaker 2: They are not on the lease, and I don't even

1223
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 2: know if I want them in the house anymore. I've

1224
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,600
Speaker 2: heard from friends that the main roommate has been high

1225
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 2: all the time and is going down a dark path.

1226
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 2: But honestly, I just want to ask them to leave

1227
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 2: the kicker. I've talked to their old roommates and they

1228
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 2: did the exact same thing at that place. They did

1229
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 2: not escape or leave on their own. They were kicked

1230
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:14,520
Speaker 2: out for the very things they're doing now, plus not

1231
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 2: paying rent. They left their old place a mess and

1232
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:20,720
Speaker 2: even damaged it. The old roommates didn't want to tell

1233
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 2: me anything about it because it was in the past

1234
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 2: and I don't want to bring up any issues until

1235
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 2: I told them I was their new roommate, to which

1236
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 2: they replied, I am so sorry. If anyone could suggest

1237
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 2: anything that could help my situation, that would be amazing.

1238
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 2: I really, truly was convinced I was helping some mutual

1239
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 2: friends out of a bad situation and this would benefit

1240
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 2: us both. But it's just benefiting them, and I feel

1241
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 2: I've made a horrible mistake. And there is an update.

1242
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:50,160
Speaker 2: They're not on the lease. Get them out of there,

1243
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 2: get the say get out. You're not on the lease. Yeah,

1244
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 2: you've been ignoring all of the rules that we put

1245
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 2: in place, so by was one of.

1246
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 6: The rules to keep their like they ope, he would

1247
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 6: go into their rooms specifically.

1248
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 2: I think op, he's just saying like, anytime I've like

1249
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 2: said high or you had to ask them a question,

1250
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 2: I've noticed that they're I think it's just yeah, talking

1251
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 2: about their general Yeah. Yeah.

1252
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 6: I think that if they're not damaging their room, their

1253
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:18,959
Speaker 6: room can be as messy as they want.

1254
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 2: Sure the common space and.

1255
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:25,800
Speaker 6: No nasty kick them out.

1256
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:29,320
Speaker 2: Update. I did finally get an answer back privately from

1257
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,160
Speaker 2: the main roommate after another text was sent from my

1258
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 2: sister to the group chat requesting that everyone pulls their

1259
00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:38,320
Speaker 2: weight when it comes to cleansliness. She said, if things

1260
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 2: don't improve in the next two weeks, then she'll drop

1261
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,240
Speaker 2: her sister off at her mom's house out of town.

1262
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 2: Her reason for her sister being year is due to

1263
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:47,520
Speaker 2: their parents being homeless.

1264
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:48,080
Speaker 1: Wow.

1265
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:51,200
Speaker 2: I'll give them the benefit of the doubt for these

1266
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,440
Speaker 2: two weeks, but will be installing cameras and a ring doorbell,

1267
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,560
Speaker 2: especially since I found out through a mutual friend that

1268
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 2: her sister has been having people over without my knowledge

1269
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:03,000
Speaker 2: while my sister and I are at work. That would

1270
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 2: not be a problem if she would just give us

1271
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 2: a heads up instead of being sneaky about it. I

1272
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 2: definitely still am not really comfortable about them being here,

1273
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 2: but considering how well the main roommate took my complaints,

1274
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 2: I will give them at least those two weeks to

1275
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 2: see if there's any change. And there is a second update.

1276
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 2: All of my friends agree with everyone who's commented here,

1277
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 2: but the only problem is that I truly do not

1278
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 2: know how to go about this. My sister is saying

1279
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 2: we'll have a conversation first and threaten them with kicking

1280
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:36,200
Speaker 2: them out. But I do believe it's beyond that. They

1281
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 2: have been smoking cigarettes in the house. No, and them

1282
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:44,280
Speaker 2: playing stupid when I confront them. Nope, doubt. There are

1283
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 2: cat's litter boxes overflowing with crap and smells like ammonia.

1284
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 2: Mutual friends are pretty sure they're doing harder substances than

1285
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 2: what I've caught them with. Nothing has changed, and it's

1286
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 2: only been almost a week. I've had to pick up

1287
01:00:57,280 --> 01:01:00,960
Speaker 2: their tampon applicators and panty liners off the bat. It's

1288
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 2: so gross. They're nineteen and twenty. I put cameras up

1289
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 2: and I'm watching to make sure they don't bring anyone

1290
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:09,960
Speaker 2: inside the house. I just do not know how to

1291
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 2: get them both in the house at the same time,

1292
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 2: or how to really stand my ground. I feel so

1293
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 2: defeated at this point. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

1294
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 2: And there is an update. I literally think you changed

1295
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 2: the lock. I was gonna say you put all of

1296
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:27,000
Speaker 2: their stuff in bags and say hey, you're moving out.

1297
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:29,800
Speaker 6: Or like yeah, or be like hey, it's you have

1298
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 6: till this day.

1299
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 2: I'll be back to.

1300
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 6: Assist you in getting your stuff out.

1301
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 2: I don't even know.

1302
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 6: I think i'd give them a day or two to

1303
01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 6: find a spot.

1304
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to leave them because I wouldn't I

1305
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:41,400
Speaker 2: would be worried that they would. The thing is, well,

1306
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,760
Speaker 2: I think you could change the locks and then you know,

1307
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,480
Speaker 2: let them back in to do stuff.

1308
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:46,880
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1309
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't want to change locks after I told them, though.

1310
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:54,000
Speaker 2: Update three says nothing has changed. Last week I got

1311
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 2: into with one of them for their rooms stinking so

1312
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:59,520
Speaker 2: badly of cat poop and pee. It smelled so bad

1313
01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:02,480
Speaker 2: in the hall. They left their cataloan for twenty four

1314
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 2: hours without food, resulting in me having to go feed

1315
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 2: it because I felt bad. The main roommate blamed it

1316
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:10,760
Speaker 2: on her sister and said she'd be taking her to

1317
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:14,640
Speaker 2: her mom's asap. Her sister is still in the house.

1318
01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:17,600
Speaker 2: The main roommate has not been to the house at all.

1319
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:20,600
Speaker 2: They keep leaving the door unlocked overnight and during the day,

1320
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 2: and it really freaks me out because we live next

1321
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:26,720
Speaker 2: to a not so good neighborhood that her room is

1322
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:29,160
Speaker 2: still a mess. The only thing that has changed is

1323
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:32,320
Speaker 2: the roommate's sister has started washing her dishes, but of

1324
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:36,480
Speaker 2: course never puts them away. I've texted twice now asking

1325
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,640
Speaker 2: to just have a conversation and have been ignored. Now

1326
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:42,440
Speaker 2: I would just throw their stuff out and change the locks,

1327
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 2: but we live in an hoa with nosy neighbors. That

1328
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 2: action would immediately result in a violation and would get

1329
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 2: back to the landlord. I do not know what to

1330
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 2: do if they just keep ignoring me. I'm trying to

1331
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 2: do this in a more low key way due to

1332
01:02:56,280 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 2: the circumstances. Could anyone give me ideas? Update four talk

1333
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 2: I had to talk with the main roommate on Saturday.

1334
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 2: I had planned to punt them out then, but this

1335
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:10,960
Speaker 2: conversation was bizarre from start to finish. She blamed everything

1336
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 2: on her sister and didn't take any responsibility for her actions. Sure,

1337
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:17,439
Speaker 2: she was never home, but she is ultimately the one

1338
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 2: paying for the room, and it is her responsibility to

1339
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 2: make sure her cat is okay and the room is okay.

1340
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:28,560
Speaker 2: Her sister wouldn't answer the phone, so she called their mother,

1341
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:32,680
Speaker 2: and she was so angry. She started yelling at her

1342
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,919
Speaker 2: to take more responsibility, to stop spending all her time

1343
01:03:35,960 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 2: at her boyfriend's place, and that the cat is her

1344
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 2: responsibility and nobody else's, at least their mom's setting them straight.

1345
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 2: Go mom. That night, I went to a social event

1346
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:48,320
Speaker 2: where I had multiple people coming up to me and

1347
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 2: telling me things about these people, mostly all starting out

1348
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:56,360
Speaker 2: with I'm so sorry. I got so upset and overstimulated

1349
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 2: that I ended up having my boyfriend picked me up early.

1350
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 2: We agreed to another conversation today. I typed up and

1351
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:05,880
Speaker 2: printed a document at work, which was a list of

1352
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 2: things they've done mixed with an eviction notice. I got

1353
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:11,560
Speaker 2: home and waited for them to come out of the room.

1354
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 2: Forty five minutes after the set time. They texted the

1355
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 2: group chat asking if we still wanted to have the conversation,

1356
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 2: and I replied that I was waiting on them. We

1357
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 2: went downstairs and they just said they'd be out by Friday. Great,

1358
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 2: which was such relief that I didn't have to push

1359
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 2: or even ask again. Really, I am so relieved that

1360
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:35,720
Speaker 2: it seems they're being really mature about the situation. I

1361
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 2: will update this post if anything happens, but I do

1362
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 2: believe that this situation is finally over.

1363
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 6: Not followed by another update, and there's.

1364
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 2: A fifth update. Let's just let's keep it going. Hey, guys,

1365
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 2: they've moved out. Yeah, pauzad they're gone. The main roommate

1366
01:04:57,160 --> 01:05:00,840
Speaker 2: came by today to clean, thankfully, and gave me the keys.

1367
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 2: They were keeping substances in that room for sure, as

1368
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:06,920
Speaker 2: I watched them move out yesterday and saw what they

1369
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:09,880
Speaker 2: had in their hands. I also walked into that room

1370
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 2: yesterday and there was trash piled everywhere. I guess the

1371
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:16,200
Speaker 2: main roommate's sister was angry she had to move states

1372
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 2: and about the things I told her long distance fiance,

1373
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:22,680
Speaker 2: so she didn't pack anything and left piles of trash everywhere,

1374
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:26,040
Speaker 2: mostly take out trash and wash bottles and sorry in

1375
01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 2: water bottles. The main roommate was pretty respectful about everything,

1376
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:31,720
Speaker 2: which I'm very glad about. I did take off work

1377
01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:35,000
Speaker 2: yesterday to supervise, and she came to move after I

1378
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 2: would have gotten home from work, which annoyed me. I

1379
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 2: lost money due to her carelessness, but oh well. The

1380
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:43,520
Speaker 2: cat is with one of their family friends, as I

1381
01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:46,520
Speaker 2: was told, since she agrees she's not stable enough to

1382
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:49,440
Speaker 2: care for it. This is the third animal she's given

1383
01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:52,120
Speaker 2: to a friend in the past three to four years.

1384
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:55,120
Speaker 2: I hope she doesn't get another, but there is a

1385
01:05:55,160 --> 01:06:00,560
Speaker 2: little bit left to this story. Well any final thoughts, man, man,

1386
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 2: that's all you needed.

1387
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:05,600
Speaker 6: Honestly, I know they've cost you a lot of money already,

1388
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:08,800
Speaker 6: but if you can afford it, pay for someone to

1389
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 6: clean that room.

1390
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:12,200
Speaker 2: So yeah, don't do it yourself. If you can, yeah,

1391
01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:14,240
Speaker 2: just get someone else to do it so you don't

1392
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 2: even have to worry about it.

1393
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:21,360
Speaker 6: A headache off your shoulders, like bucks for one room,

1394
01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:23,720
Speaker 6: and then it'll just it'll just feel like nice and

1395
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 6: really deep clean, and you have to do anything.

1396
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:30,280
Speaker 2: You're done, You're done, Opie finishes off. I'm such an

1397
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 2: animal lover, and I hate to see animals bond with

1398
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:35,080
Speaker 2: someone who can't take proper care of them and then

1399
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:39,800
Speaker 2: gets discarded. It truly hurts my heart. This whole situation

1400
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 2: happened around the one year anniversary of my dogs passing.

1401
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 2: I had him for sixteen years, and having to see

1402
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:48,880
Speaker 2: this poor cat get neglected really hit hard, as I

1403
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:52,040
Speaker 2: would do anything to bring my boy back, and these

1404
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:54,840
Speaker 2: people didn't care about theirs. I hope he's happy and

1405
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,480
Speaker 2: being well taken care of. I have an option for

1406
01:06:57,520 --> 01:06:59,920
Speaker 2: a future roommate already. I've known her for almost ten

1407
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:03,600
Speaker 2: years and we're very close. She's very clean, stable, and

1408
01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:07,720
Speaker 2: doesn't do substances. She was my first option for a roommate,

1409
01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:10,080
Speaker 2: but she had plans to move in with a coworker

1410
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:12,200
Speaker 2: and those plans have fallen through in the past couple

1411
01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:16,040
Speaker 2: of months, so I hope she'll consider moving in. Bills

1412
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:18,439
Speaker 2: and rent being split three ways would be so much

1413
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:21,520
Speaker 2: better for me and my sister. And that is the

1414
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:24,160
Speaker 2: end of that story my own mind.