WEBVTT - “I’M HOLDING IT TOGETHER FOR MY KIDS”

0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.080
<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hey, Hi, what's your name?

0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:04.040
<v Speaker 2>My name is Jillian.

0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:06.840
<v Speaker 1>Well what's up, Jillian? How you what you would you

0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:07.520
<v Speaker 1>want to talk about?

0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:10.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I guess I have a couple of

0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:10.840
<v Speaker 2>things we could talk about.

0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:12.360
<v Speaker 3>It would just depends.

0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:17.159
<v Speaker 2>Currently, am like thirty five weeks pregnant with someone that

0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:19.440
<v Speaker 2>I met, Like, well, I got pregnant when I knew

0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:22.919
<v Speaker 2>them for like five months. I'm old. I'm not old old,

0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:25.440
<v Speaker 2>but I'm thirty one, so too old be making mistakes

0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:30.080
<v Speaker 2>like that. So about to give birth. And then in

0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:32.000
<v Speaker 2>the middle of all that, my dad went to prison.

0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:36.760
<v Speaker 2>So just kind of a lot of stuff going on.

0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:39.800
<v Speaker 1>I guess that is that is totally a lot of

0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:42.920
<v Speaker 1>stuff going on. That is absolutely a lot of stuff

0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:48.840
<v Speaker 1>going on. So you okay, So you you're you knew

0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:51.280
<v Speaker 1>this guy for about five months and you got it.

0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:55.080
<v Speaker 1>You accidentally got pregnant. Is this your first time being pregnant?

0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:58.080
<v Speaker 2>No, it's actually my third time. I have one child.

0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:01.040
<v Speaker 2>So I lost a baby and twenty nineteen and I

0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:05.039
<v Speaker 2>subsequently lost one of my Filippian tubes and I already

0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:08.640
<v Speaker 2>had like some fertility issues, so I genuinely and everyone

0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:10.600
<v Speaker 2>kept telling me, like, if you want to have another baby.

0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:12.160
<v Speaker 4>It's gonna be really hard.

0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:14.640
<v Speaker 2>Da da da da. I got my birth control taken

0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:19.360
<v Speaker 2>out and I was already pregnant, so it was a

0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:23.440
<v Speaker 2>little bit of a shocker for everybody involved. So while

0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:26.120
<v Speaker 2>I did make a mistake, it was definitely a one

0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:29.040
<v Speaker 2>mistake is a harsh word, but you know, it was

0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:31.920
<v Speaker 2>a little bit of an accident. So I definitely like, shocker.

0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:34.520
<v Speaker 1>How old is your kid? How old is your kid?

0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:36.080
<v Speaker 2>I have an eight year old?

0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:38.360
<v Speaker 1>You have an eight year old? Okay? And then where

0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:40.840
<v Speaker 1>this guy that you met five months ago? Where'd you had?

0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:44.920
<v Speaker 2>You meet him on tender So we're all the true love?

0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:48.960
<v Speaker 1>What's sure? Sure? And is he gonna help? Is he

0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.480
<v Speaker 1>gonna help out and do stuff? Do you think?

0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:52.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:56.440
<v Speaker 2>Like honestly, so if I accidentally got pregnant with anybody's babies,

0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:59.800
<v Speaker 2>he's probably the best person accidentally get pregnant with. Uh,

0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:04.800
<v Speaker 2>he's great. Like, we both work at a place that

0:02:04.880 --> 0:02:07.680
<v Speaker 2>you dress like I used to he still does.

0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.920
<v Speaker 1>And well it's you both. You both work at a

0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:15.640
<v Speaker 1>place that I dress like you work? Where do you not?

0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:16.359
<v Speaker 4>Everyone like?

0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:19.000
<v Speaker 2>Because well I used to work at I don't want

0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:21.960
<v Speaker 2>to say the company name, but it's is.

0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:25.160
<v Speaker 1>It A is it A Is it a auto insurance company?

0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:30.680
<v Speaker 6>It might be, it might be lots of really great place.

0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:36.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so no, he currently maybe works there. I don't anymore.

0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:41.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm actually in grad school. So I stopped working when

0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:43.960
<v Speaker 2>I was too sick to keep working because I was

0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:47.200
<v Speaker 2>throwing up. Well, it turns out you get sick in

0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:49.840
<v Speaker 2>some pregnancies. I did not with my daughter. But no,

0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:53.480
<v Speaker 2>he's like super great. He just like was excited when

0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:57.120
<v Speaker 2>he found out tracker and then his family was like

0:02:57.680 --> 0:03:02.600
<v Speaker 2>very supportive immediately. And I obviously don't have like this

0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:06.280
<v Speaker 2>wonderful backing. I'm just gonna hear a by myself. So

0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:10.200
<v Speaker 2>it's been like this introduction to a family unit. And

0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:12.520
<v Speaker 2>I guess which is is wonderful for me?

0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Are you sorry? You and this guy that you met

0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:17.600
<v Speaker 1>on Tinder five months ago? Are you guys dating? Do

0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:20.680
<v Speaker 1>you like each other? Are you let's do it?

0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:21.920
<v Speaker 7>Yeah?

0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:26.079
<v Speaker 2>Well so we were like had just become official and

0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.120
<v Speaker 2>now it's just like feels like normal life. I guess

0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:32.440
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I've known him forever, like you know,

0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:36.120
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know, everything's fine, I do. I feel

0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:39.920
<v Speaker 2>like it's very atypical because I would never recommend somebody

0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:42.800
<v Speaker 2>who like, like, if I had known me, I would

0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:45.240
<v Speaker 2>have been like, hey, maybe you should think about your option,

0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:49.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, but just just not how it turned out.

0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:50.760
<v Speaker 6>I don't know, sure a little bit.

0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:54.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. Just now you said. If I had known me,

0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:55.880
<v Speaker 1>or if I had known.

0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:00.280
<v Speaker 2>Him from like an outside perspective, like if I my

0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:03.880
<v Speaker 2>friend seeing what was happening, I would have been like, hey,

0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:07.720
<v Speaker 2>maybe you should think about your options, you know. I

0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:11.560
<v Speaker 2>just like never considered it, I guess because sure everything

0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:14.360
<v Speaker 2>seemed fine, and sure it has been fine.

0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:15.640
<v Speaker 5>Oddly enough.

0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:18.560
<v Speaker 1>Does this guy have any other kids? Or is this

0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:19.120
<v Speaker 1>his first?

0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:19.400
<v Speaker 5>No?

0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:24.480
<v Speaker 2>No, this is his first child. Now this is his

0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:24.960
<v Speaker 2>first kid?

0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:27.000
<v Speaker 1>How old child?

0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:29.360
<v Speaker 2>He is younger than me? So he's twenty seven.

0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:35.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm thirty one, and so are you? Is he like

0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:38.600
<v Speaker 1>is he your boyfriend?

0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:39.440
<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, he's like yeah like you, No, he's definitely

0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:43.000
<v Speaker 2>it's official.

0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:44.279
<v Speaker 6>It's definitely opecial.

0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:48.440
<v Speaker 1>Cool. How are you feeling about uh? All this?

0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:53.000
<v Speaker 6>Like the idea?

0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:53.320
<v Speaker 1>Well?

0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I never I didn't really want to have any more kids.

0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:56.320
<v Speaker 6>The only reason I had.

0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:58.760
<v Speaker 2>Gotten my birth control taken out was because I was

0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:00.320
<v Speaker 2>like having issues with it.

0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:01.080
<v Speaker 6>It was the club.

0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:03.279
<v Speaker 2>Next one month, it goes in your arm and I

0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.720
<v Speaker 2>had broken in half, and so I was gonna go

0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:08.560
<v Speaker 2>on the pill. And then I just didn't even have

0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:12.279
<v Speaker 2>a chance to because I was already pregnant. So anyway,

0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:16.200
<v Speaker 2>I didn't. Yeah, I didn't plan on having kids. I

0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:19.040
<v Speaker 2>didn't really like want to have more kids. I love

0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:21.279
<v Speaker 2>my daughter, we have like a great dynamic. I was

0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:23.560
<v Speaker 2>going to be like child free by the time I

0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:27.120
<v Speaker 2>was like in my early forties, so like whatever great

0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:30.920
<v Speaker 2>situation that would be to just live my life, I guess.

0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:35.200
<v Speaker 2>And then I was starting grad school, so I was

0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:38.520
<v Speaker 2>like it just wasn't in the cards for anybody because

0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:41.479
<v Speaker 2>it just didn't make any sense to do that, I guess.

0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:44.480
<v Speaker 2>But I don't know, after like losing my second child,

0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:47.280
<v Speaker 2>like it was, it's like, I don't know, It's just

0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:51.240
<v Speaker 2>one of those things where this weird miracle baby came

0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:52.880
<v Speaker 2>out of nowhere. So why didn't I just keep it

0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:56.840
<v Speaker 2>and let it? You know, of it's life. IM a situation.

0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm just more scared about, like the complication that comes

0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.960
<v Speaker 2>with childbirth because of my previous experiences.

0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:05.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sure, have you these that? Well, first of all,

0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:08.000
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's great that both of you guys are

0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:11.000
<v Speaker 1>like are into it? You know, there's not like a

0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:14.640
<v Speaker 1>weird dynamic or he's not like you know, I mean

0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:17.320
<v Speaker 1>it just it seems like it seems like it worked

0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.520
<v Speaker 1>out good. So that's yeah. Well, so did you have

0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:24.479
<v Speaker 1>you spoken to like a doctor about like, uh, you know, hey,

0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:26.919
<v Speaker 1>what's up? What's going on in my body?

0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:28.039
<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.920
<v Speaker 2>Definitely go to a doctor regularly. I was also born

0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:33.839
<v Speaker 2>without a thyroid, so like I have to go to

0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:36.640
<v Speaker 2>the doctor a lot just because my medicine it's not

0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:38.839
<v Speaker 2>it does not impact the pregnancy at all, but I

0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:41.800
<v Speaker 2>have to like regularly get my medication, like my levels,

0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:44.120
<v Speaker 2>like my TSH and like my.

0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:46.400
<v Speaker 6>Like T four.

0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:48.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what it is. You probably don't either, anyway,

0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:51.240
<v Speaker 2>regularly monitored so that like I can move sure. I

0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:53.800
<v Speaker 2>was like sixteen on the pregnancy, and then of course

0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:55.520
<v Speaker 2>I go to an ob but I feel like in

0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:56.240
<v Speaker 2>the life.

0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.920
<v Speaker 4>And stuff and like normal stuff.

0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:01.000
<v Speaker 2>I have to go every week for the next like

0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:04.279
<v Speaker 2>five weeks, which is kind of annoying because it's thirty

0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:07.440
<v Speaker 2>minutes away, but you know, it makes sense.

0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:11.120
<v Speaker 1>I would say, what are you in grad school for?

0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:16.000
<v Speaker 2>Actually social work? Funny enough, I feel like I'm like

0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:18.960
<v Speaker 2>a shining example of like what not to do. But

0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:22.920
<v Speaker 2>at the same time, no, no, no. Through religious experiences, I

0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.960
<v Speaker 2>feel like, you know, we know a little bit more

0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:31.200
<v Speaker 2>about I don't know life and what you know, you

0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:33.320
<v Speaker 2>don't really know what's out there if you've never seen

0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.520
<v Speaker 2>it or experienced it yourself. You know, you either have

0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:39.000
<v Speaker 2>to read about it, experience it, or you go through it.

0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:44.520
<v Speaker 1>What so, where is your daughter's dad? What's his deal?

0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:50.000
<v Speaker 2>I he was locally. That's actually why I live here,

0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:53.920
<v Speaker 2>because I wasn't going to just like like I don't

0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:56.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm not from here. I've lived like in all over

0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:59.120
<v Speaker 2>the place or whatever, like like my dad was in

0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:02.520
<v Speaker 2>the military, so I've lived in about like nine different

0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:05.160
<v Speaker 2>states by the time I was I think I was

0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:10.320
<v Speaker 2>twenty one twenty two. So I ended up here and

0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.200
<v Speaker 2>I met her dad, and I was a lot younger

0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:13.760
<v Speaker 2>than him.

0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:14.840
<v Speaker 6>Blah blah blah.

0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:18.360
<v Speaker 2>I ended up staying here and he's very involved. We

0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:20.880
<v Speaker 2>have fifty fifty cuffie oh cool, And I try to

0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:24.360
<v Speaker 2>keep it that way because I want, you know, you

0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.200
<v Speaker 2>want the family. You know, it's a family can't be

0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.480
<v Speaker 2>together because it's not healthy and not safe to be

0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:31.240
<v Speaker 2>in that situation, you want, you know, dad to be

0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:35.040
<v Speaker 2>involved as much as possible, you know, so that's my

0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:36.320
<v Speaker 2>goal in that situation.

0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:39.000
<v Speaker 1>I mean, shit, that sounds like a pretty like solid

0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:42.400
<v Speaker 1>gig because you have fifty percent of it. Because well,

0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:44.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean to me, that sounds like a solid gig

0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.840
<v Speaker 1>because you've got to raise a fucking whole baby now,

0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.160
<v Speaker 1>and I think that sounds like it'll be easier when

0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:52.720
<v Speaker 1>you know at least fifty percent of the time. Yeah,

0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:54.520
<v Speaker 1>you could focus in on just the baby.

0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:58.160
<v Speaker 2>I guess it makes me kind of sad because it's

0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:00.679
<v Speaker 2>just like I feel bad for my dog because I

0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:03.960
<v Speaker 2>really wish that I could be there one hundred percent

0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.079
<v Speaker 2>of the time, you know. But at the same time,

0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:11.640
<v Speaker 2>the choices that we make as an adult, like with relationships,

0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:16.000
<v Speaker 2>ultimately affect children. And I can't selfishly keep her one

0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:19.120
<v Speaker 2>hundred percent of the time just to benefit myself to

0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:22.640
<v Speaker 2>feel better when that's not ultimately it's best for her,

0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:26.480
<v Speaker 2>So you know, it will be easier, and like, that's

0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:28.480
<v Speaker 2>a good perspective, But at the same time, it feels

0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:31.200
<v Speaker 2>like sad a little bit because I would love for

0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:35.280
<v Speaker 2>her to be with her brother or sister, like all

0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:38.040
<v Speaker 2>the time, but you know, it is what it is.

0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:42.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean, so my what eight year? How the fuck old?

0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:47.280
<v Speaker 1>I think my thent my parents' divorce? What I pretty

0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:49.480
<v Speaker 1>much grew I only really really yeah, I pretty much

0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:52.960
<v Speaker 1>grew up with divorced parents. My parents didn't have like

0:09:54.600 --> 0:10:00.720
<v Speaker 1>kids outside of like their own marriage or whatever. But

0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:03.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't know, man, I grew up with

0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:07.319
<v Speaker 1>divorced parents and they they didn't. I mean, it sounds

0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.560
<v Speaker 1>like it's kind of a similar situation. Like I they

0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:11.880
<v Speaker 1>were both growing up both with my parents. They didn't

0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:17.240
<v Speaker 1>live together, but they lived in the same you know city, right,

0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:19.520
<v Speaker 1>and so I got to see my mom a lot,

0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:21.320
<v Speaker 1>and I got to see my dad. Lie, I never

0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:27.000
<v Speaker 1>felt like either of my parents weren't there, you know.

0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:31.000
<v Speaker 1>But it's but also like but I don't think my

0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:33.880
<v Speaker 1>my my parents were not meant to be together. I

0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:36.320
<v Speaker 1>think if they stayed together, they would have just been

0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:42.000
<v Speaker 1>more unhappy, you know. So like right, so like it's like,

0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:44.560
<v Speaker 1>it's okay, it's good, it's all I think. The like,

0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:47.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, if you're the whole like staying together for

0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:51.040
<v Speaker 1>the kids thing, I mean, if you're not, if you

0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:54.520
<v Speaker 1>two are just together and you like don't you hate

0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:56.720
<v Speaker 1>each other. There's no reason to stay together and hate

0:10:56.720 --> 0:11:01.360
<v Speaker 1>each other for the sake of uh a kid. I mean,

0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:06.480
<v Speaker 1>you can both be in your kid's life. It seems

0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:09.440
<v Speaker 1>it ultimately shows.

0:11:09.280 --> 0:11:13.319
<v Speaker 2>The child like like mistakes happen, like we live our lives,

0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:17.800
<v Speaker 2>and like we make choices. And while divorce isn't always

0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.600
<v Speaker 2>the best option, you know, and people you know have

0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:22.600
<v Speaker 2>so much shame around it, but at the same time,

0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:25.280
<v Speaker 2>that stuck, and you should never feel stuck in your life.

0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:29.760
<v Speaker 2>And then it also just shows like good relationships in

0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.760
<v Speaker 2>the future, like I hope you know. I mean, my

0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:35.720
<v Speaker 2>partner's like I gus, what missaying his name? But my

0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.080
<v Speaker 2>partner is wonderful, Like you's so sweet to my daughter.

0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:41.640
<v Speaker 2>I never I'd never introduced my daughter any when I

0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:43.839
<v Speaker 2>date it, so I was just this was like a

0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:47.320
<v Speaker 2>first for me. And I never really had a boyfriend

0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.720
<v Speaker 2>after my husband, so this is like my first real

0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:54.120
<v Speaker 2>boyfriend after that. But you know, it just shows like

0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:57.800
<v Speaker 2>positive relationships can form out of like I wouldn't say

0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:02.000
<v Speaker 2>negative situations, but you know, situations that aren't ideal, you know.

0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.840
<v Speaker 2>And so now we're here, she gets to see this

0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:08.480
<v Speaker 2>like flourishing relationship. That's a great example, hopefully, I think.

0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's you know, you keep you keep saying

0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:16.240
<v Speaker 1>it's not ideal, but I just well, I well, look,

0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:20.360
<v Speaker 1>your ex husband, he's he's not like, uh, he's not

0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:23.839
<v Speaker 1>like abusive to you or abusive to your kid or

0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:25.480
<v Speaker 1>any anything. Is he like?

0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:28.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I wouldn't. I don't want to get into

0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:30.280
<v Speaker 2>any of the details or anything, but it was just

0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:33.079
<v Speaker 2>not safe. So you know, I needed to leave for myself,

0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.880
<v Speaker 2>not for my daughter's sake. It was just not safe

0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:39.480
<v Speaker 2>for me. So you know, that's my biggest thing is

0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.040
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want her growing up seeing how I was

0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.720
<v Speaker 2>being treated and then not being a shiny example of

0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:46.320
<v Speaker 2>what future relationship should look like.

0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:51.280
<v Speaker 1>Sure, sure, I mean I don't know. It's like I.

0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:58.199
<v Speaker 7>Know, it's just from a complete dumb ass outsider perspective

0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:03.640
<v Speaker 7>looking at this, it's like, Okay, she's got fifty of

0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:07.000
<v Speaker 7>the time with her dad, fifty percent of the time

0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.439
<v Speaker 7>with you.

0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:14.160
<v Speaker 1>You know, has she and she's met your current your boyfriends. Yeah,

0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:17.079
<v Speaker 1>he's to her months.

0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:20.679
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Yeah, they get along really great. You know, their

0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:24.880
<v Speaker 2>introductory together was like playing linecraft, you know, Yeah, really

0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:25.840
<v Speaker 2>wrong with that?

0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:29.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm just a dum I don't I'm a dumbass,

0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:32.840
<v Speaker 1>but I'm just my outsider perspective of the situations. Sounds

0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:36.360
<v Speaker 1>like this kid will will grow up with. I mean,

0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:38.080
<v Speaker 1>it's not like you know the dad. It's not like

0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:40.880
<v Speaker 1>you were the dad skipped town. And you know she

0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:43.920
<v Speaker 1>has lived six months of the year in South Africa

0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:51.960
<v Speaker 1>and six months in in fucking Iowa. So I don't,

0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:54.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't, I don't this sounds I don't think that

0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:55.400
<v Speaker 1>you should feel bad.

0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:59.160
<v Speaker 2>I suppose, yeah, you just you know, it's just like

0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:01.240
<v Speaker 2>one of those things is if you grow up thinking

0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:03.080
<v Speaker 2>like one thing, you're like, okay, you know, and I

0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:04.600
<v Speaker 2>come from a dairy brooken home.

0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:04.800
<v Speaker 5>You know.

0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.480
<v Speaker 2>My dad's been married I think three times, and like

0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.360
<v Speaker 2>he raised us so like we had like a ton

0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.560
<v Speaker 2>of moms, Like my mom pieced out. When I was eleven,

0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.240
<v Speaker 2>he got married for the second time, then he got

0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:18.160
<v Speaker 2>married again, then he like met this well he had

0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:20.000
<v Speaker 2>an affair on all of them, but like the most

0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.960
<v Speaker 2>recent affair was like this one lady you know, and

0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:25.760
<v Speaker 2>this whole thing, and then he went to prison in

0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:27.600
<v Speaker 2>the middle of it and she broke up with him,

0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.320
<v Speaker 2>and it was like a mass, you know. So like

0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.520
<v Speaker 2>when I had my daughter, I was like, I have

0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:35.800
<v Speaker 2>to stay with my husband, you know, because I was

0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:40.120
<v Speaker 2>so afraid of creating that, like keep doing that. I mean,

0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:42.760
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't having affairs with random women, but you know

0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:46.400
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, Like, I don't want to keep creating

0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.360
<v Speaker 2>broken homes for children, you know, and impacting them because

0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:50.720
<v Speaker 2>of decisions.

0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:53.400
<v Speaker 1>You know. I really feel I really wish I've I

0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:55.280
<v Speaker 1>think I've talked about this before. I wish I could

0:14:56.000 --> 0:15:00.080
<v Speaker 1>stop doing this show and then do it again, and

0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:02.520
<v Speaker 1>and just stop and then do it again in forty years.

0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:05.240
<v Speaker 1>Because I don't have I don't have kids. I don't

0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:09.760
<v Speaker 1>plan on having kids for like a long time. I'm twenty,

0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:12.280
<v Speaker 1>about to turn twenty seven. I don't really plan on

0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:16.480
<v Speaker 1>having kids until like late thirties at least. And so

0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:20.280
<v Speaker 1>my perspective, I feel like I'm only I'm I'm not talking.

0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:24.040
<v Speaker 1>I can't speak on I can only speak I guess.

0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:26.720
<v Speaker 1>I could speak from the perspective of a like my

0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:30.239
<v Speaker 1>parents were divorced growing up, I can speak from that perspective,

0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:33.160
<v Speaker 1>but I can't speak from the perspective of like like

0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:38.920
<v Speaker 1>having kids. But also I just I guess from like

0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:44.160
<v Speaker 1>what I've observed just talking to like just talking to

0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:47.880
<v Speaker 1>people who grow up in a lot of different situations.

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:51.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean, all that fucking matters is that like you're there,

0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:56.120
<v Speaker 1>you know you're there, you give a fuck. I mean

0:15:56.920 --> 0:16:00.360
<v Speaker 1>that's kind of I think that's kind of it, right, Well,

0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean it's not, it's probably not it. I don't know.

0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.000
<v Speaker 1>My perspective is again I've not I don't have kids,

0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:08.160
<v Speaker 1>but uh, just think about how I grew up. It's like,

0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:12.120
<v Speaker 1>if you're there and you, you know, do your best

0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:16.480
<v Speaker 1>to like financially support your children and emotionally support them,

0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:20.000
<v Speaker 1>it's like, you know, we're chilling. You don't have to

0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:21.480
<v Speaker 1>do that. I don't think you have to do that

0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:25.440
<v Speaker 1>at your own expense by being with somebody who you

0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:29.000
<v Speaker 1>who you don't want to be with. You know, No,

0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:31.680
<v Speaker 1>And I don't think I don't. I don't think you

0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 1>should feel too bad about any of this stuff.

0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:39.480
<v Speaker 2>No, Yeah, you just try your hardest, and then when

0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:41.440
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, and then

0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:44.000
<v Speaker 2>you have to do your best to show a positive

0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:47.600
<v Speaker 2>image or something else. It just sucks because like it's

0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:50.240
<v Speaker 2>like my daughter has such a negative image of like

0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.680
<v Speaker 2>my family because of like my dad.

0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:54.000
<v Speaker 6>And then so I.

0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:58.080
<v Speaker 2>Try really hard to be like, hey, everything's great, you know,

0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:02.960
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna be fine. Grandpa is really weird and that's okay,

0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:06.880
<v Speaker 2>but you know whatever. And then of course I don't

0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:09.879
<v Speaker 2>have like a mom, so it's like she's just like

0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:10.720
<v Speaker 2>always asking.

0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:10.960
<v Speaker 1>All my mom.

0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:14.800
<v Speaker 2>She's like, hey, so what happened? And I'm like, okay,

0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:18.679
<v Speaker 2>this is great, anyway, let's talk about something else. So

0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:23.400
<v Speaker 2>just stuff like that where you're like, families are different

0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.639
<v Speaker 2>and not all families are the same. So I'm always

0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:29.239
<v Speaker 2>having to explain that over and over and how you know,

0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:33.000
<v Speaker 2>what matters is like what's before us, you know, with

0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:36.119
<v Speaker 2>my partner and the baby and her and being happy

0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:37.679
<v Speaker 2>and doing what we need to do.

0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:40.480
<v Speaker 1>Well, good on you, man. You're look you're doing something

0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:43.679
<v Speaker 1>that's hard as fuck. You're doing a thing. It's I

0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:47.080
<v Speaker 1>was actually, you know, I was. I was actually thinking

0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:52.399
<v Speaker 1>about this last night. I so yesterday. I live I

0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:56.120
<v Speaker 1>really as like a single man. I really just live

0:17:56.119 --> 0:18:02.040
<v Speaker 1>a life where I'm my my responsibilities are zero. I

0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:06.280
<v Speaker 1>have a plant that's dying very slowly in my house

0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:09.760
<v Speaker 1>because I'm just I'm not my I really just have

0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:13.960
<v Speaker 1>no responsibility to anyone, and I thought about, like, you know,

0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:15.639
<v Speaker 1>I do. I was I've been thinking a little bit

0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:18.000
<v Speaker 1>more about like, oh, I might want kids, like, you know,

0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.200
<v Speaker 1>ten years down the line or whatever it is. And

0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:24.480
<v Speaker 1>last night I was recording, I was trying to record

0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:28.560
<v Speaker 1>this podcast, and I just felt like tired and weak,

0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:30.720
<v Speaker 1>and so I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna

0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:34.399
<v Speaker 1>stop and move on and do it in the morning,

0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:37.600
<v Speaker 1>which is what I'm doing right now. And after I

0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:40.080
<v Speaker 1>shut my lap, I was thinking, and I was like, oh, fuck,

0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.600
<v Speaker 1>ten years from now, when I'm like taking care of

0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:46.040
<v Speaker 1>a kid and I'm feeling tired and weak, I'm not

0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:49.000
<v Speaker 1>gonna be able to just be like, you know what,

0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:51.560
<v Speaker 1>I'll feed I'll change this diaper in the morning, I'll

0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:54.000
<v Speaker 1>feed this kid in the morning, I'll do I Like

0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:58.000
<v Speaker 1>every I just have no real responsibilities where I can

0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:02.359
<v Speaker 1>easily procrastinate and push off and do whatever. I'm the

0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:05.800
<v Speaker 1>only person that will ever suffer at the hands of

0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:09.960
<v Speaker 1>my own like fucking like procrastinate and pushing it out

0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:12.920
<v Speaker 1>whatever whatever. And I'm like, oh, no, I gotta learn

0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:16.320
<v Speaker 1>once I have a kid, like, oh, I can't just

0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.120
<v Speaker 1>tap out, you know, I gotta I have.

0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:22.480
<v Speaker 2>To see it through because you're getting yourself with the

0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:25.800
<v Speaker 2>ultimate self care right now, and like you're nurturing yourself

0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:30.359
<v Speaker 2>and like creating a positive feature where like you can

0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:33.359
<v Speaker 2>make yourself the best person you are today so that

0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:36.600
<v Speaker 2>in ten years from now when you do have children,

0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:39.879
<v Speaker 2>like you're a well rested, well rounded person that is

0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:43.880
<v Speaker 2>able to be self selfish, well selfless in those ways.

0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:45.879
<v Speaker 2>And you also can hire a night nurse if you

0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:49.240
<v Speaker 2>make enough money, so you know there are other options too.

0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Well. I'm trying to Yeah, I'm trying to do all

0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:57.480
<v Speaker 1>that stuff become a more well rounded person. I think

0:19:57.560 --> 0:19:59.840
<v Speaker 1>I'll be a I predict i'll be a better person

0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:04.199
<v Speaker 1>ten years. It's just I predict my stock will go

0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:10.000
<v Speaker 1>up in ten years. I'm optimistic about it. We'll see,

0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:14.919
<v Speaker 1>we'll see. I might maybe I'll be maybe I'll join ISIS.

0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:17.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, No, no, I don't think they're really

0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:22.320
<v Speaker 2>like are they like super in right now? I feel

0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:24.240
<v Speaker 2>like there's got to be like a not a better

0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:30.600
<v Speaker 2>terrorist organization, but like a more prolific one that's like

0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:34.120
<v Speaker 2>up and coming, maybe like a startup of terrorist organizations.

0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:37.240
<v Speaker 1>Well maybe maybe they'll probably be more in ten in

0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:40.960
<v Speaker 1>ten years. But I mean, either way, thanks for thanks

0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:42.840
<v Speaker 1>for believing in me that I can that I can

0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:44.640
<v Speaker 1>join the best one.

0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:45.240
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm just saying, like, you know, if you're gonna

0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:49.200
<v Speaker 2>set your side for being the best, you should try

0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:50.480
<v Speaker 2>to join the beast. You know.

0:20:52.320 --> 0:21:00.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, listen, what's your name again? Hold on? Is it? Sorry?

0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:01.080
<v Speaker 1>What is it?

0:21:02.119 --> 0:21:03.760
<v Speaker 2>I know I've always wanted to participate in the name

0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:07.480
<v Speaker 2>forgetting the situation. It's well, I said my my actual name,

0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:09.640
<v Speaker 2>which is fine. It's Jillian.

0:21:10.320 --> 0:21:14.840
<v Speaker 1>Jillian. Well, Jillian, good luck, keep trying your best to

0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:20.719
<v Speaker 1>you're doing your I sincerely, I hope you're not beating

0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:24.439
<v Speaker 1>yourself up too bad about it. Sounds like it sounds

0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:26.879
<v Speaker 1>like you're doing pretty If you were saying like I

0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:31.360
<v Speaker 1>really want to abandon my children and go, that's not

0:21:31.680 --> 0:21:33.399
<v Speaker 1>the vibe I'm getting from you. So I think you're

0:21:33.400 --> 0:21:34.159
<v Speaker 1>doing pretty good.

0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:36.919
<v Speaker 2>Now and after for an experience of that, it just

0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:39.040
<v Speaker 2>doesn't feel great. You know, I will be the first

0:21:39.080 --> 0:21:43.600
<v Speaker 2>to admit it, So I genuinely don't feel that I

0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:45.000
<v Speaker 2>would want to do that as someone else.

0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:46.639
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else you want to say to the

0:21:46.640 --> 0:21:47.920
<v Speaker 1>people of the computer before we go?

0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:54.040
<v Speaker 2>I think so I guess, keep doing your best, and

0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:57.720
<v Speaker 2>if that means joining the best terrorist organization you can,

0:21:58.000 --> 0:21:59.480
<v Speaker 2>thank you, so be it.

0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:03.040
<v Speaker 1>I'll send it. I'll send out my applications to the

0:22:03.119 --> 0:22:06.240
<v Speaker 1>highest whatever. Thank you, Jillian.

0:22:07.400 --> 0:22:09.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, how can I say, have a nice night.

0:22:15.320 --> 0:22:18.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I really do. Sometimes I'm like, sometimes I'm talking

0:22:18.160 --> 0:22:19.879
<v Speaker 1>to people on this thing and I'm just like, what

0:22:19.920 --> 0:22:24.239
<v Speaker 1>the fuck do I know? I'm only I don't. I

0:22:24.280 --> 0:22:29.399
<v Speaker 1>really feel like I just have such little responsibility, which

0:22:29.680 --> 0:22:36.879
<v Speaker 1>is good and bad and some degree I'm really my

0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:43.320
<v Speaker 1>only real, honest to God external responsibility kind of feels

0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:46.240
<v Speaker 1>like I need to I need to put out two

0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:54.720
<v Speaker 1>of these podcasts a week for me to not die.

0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:59.399
<v Speaker 1>And that's that's kind of it. I mean, I should, like,

0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:01.920
<v Speaker 1>I guess I'm vaguely responsible to myself and the fact

0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:12.119
<v Speaker 1>that I shouldn't. I shouldn't like give myself diabetes. But

0:23:12.320 --> 0:23:14.120
<v Speaker 1>I just I'm just have this feeling I don't and again,

0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:16.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to do it for a long time.

0:23:16.160 --> 0:23:18.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't plan on doing it for for a long time,

0:23:18.280 --> 0:23:20.400
<v Speaker 1>but I just have this feeling that like, once you're

0:23:20.520 --> 0:23:24.160
<v Speaker 1>like responsible for another human being, like your whole your

0:23:24.200 --> 0:23:28.840
<v Speaker 1>life shifts to your perspective shifts and some I feel like,

0:23:29.000 --> 0:23:31.240
<v Speaker 1>in twenty years, I'm gonna look back at this podcast

0:23:31.280 --> 0:23:33.399
<v Speaker 1>and be like, why was I having these I was

0:23:33.440 --> 0:23:41.399
<v Speaker 1>having these conversations with such a a dwarfed I'm gonna

0:23:41.440 --> 0:23:46.439
<v Speaker 1>call it a dwarfed perspective. But this is this is

0:23:46.440 --> 0:23:48.879
<v Speaker 1>what happened. I started doing this show. I started fucking

0:23:48.880 --> 0:23:52.639
<v Speaker 1>doing this when I was twenty two, which is like nothing.

0:23:53.680 --> 0:23:55.960
<v Speaker 1>And now I don't know. Maybe I'll come back and

0:23:56.000 --> 0:24:00.040
<v Speaker 1>maybe I'll do this again in twenty years. I don't No,

0:24:00.359 --> 0:24:03.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. We'll see, we'll see what happens, but

0:24:03.720 --> 0:24:05.840
<v Speaker 1>or either either that oasis, We'll see.

0:24:07.000 --> 0:24:10.880
<v Speaker 6>Hello, Hi, what's up man?

0:24:12.320 --> 0:24:14.560
<v Speaker 1>Not much man? What's what's your name?

0:24:16.680 --> 0:24:17.760
<v Speaker 6>My name's Barney.

0:24:18.480 --> 0:24:19.080
<v Speaker 1>Her name's what.

0:24:21.560 --> 0:24:23.280
<v Speaker 6>Barney like the Purple Dinosaur.

0:24:23.560 --> 0:24:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Barney like the Purple Dinosaur. Well, Barney like the purple dinosaur.

0:24:28.080 --> 0:24:29.560
<v Speaker 1>What's up? How's it hanging?

0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:35.040
<v Speaker 6>It's it's hanging pretty good. I was just doing some laundry,

0:24:35.240 --> 0:24:36.880
<v Speaker 6>you know, folding some clothes.

0:24:40.040 --> 0:24:42.800
<v Speaker 1>Very exciting stuff, very exciting stuff. Is there anything you

0:24:42.960 --> 0:24:43.480
<v Speaker 1>have to talk about?

0:24:43.760 --> 0:24:51.639
<v Speaker 6>Barney? I'm actually I wanted to talk. I feel like

0:24:51.680 --> 0:24:55.159
<v Speaker 6>I'm kind of becoming somewhat of a snake hitler.

0:24:56.640 --> 0:25:03.840
<v Speaker 1>You feel like you're becoming somewhat of a snake hitler. Yeah, okay, yeah,

0:25:03.920 --> 0:25:07.000
<v Speaker 1>tell me more. All right.

0:25:07.240 --> 0:25:15.359
<v Speaker 6>So for my job, I'm mow grass and you know,

0:25:16.720 --> 0:25:23.119
<v Speaker 6>chop a lot of shit up, and unfortunately quite a

0:25:23.200 --> 0:25:26.280
<v Speaker 6>few snakes they get caught up in the mix. I

0:25:26.400 --> 0:25:29.439
<v Speaker 6>just feel so bad for him, you know, like I

0:25:29.440 --> 0:25:32.399
<v Speaker 6>feel like I'm genociding these damn snakes out here and

0:25:32.440 --> 0:25:34.000
<v Speaker 6>they don't deserve it.

0:25:34.080 --> 0:25:34.280
<v Speaker 2>Man.

0:25:35.040 --> 0:25:40.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's so. How many snakes do you think you

0:25:40.680 --> 0:25:42.399
<v Speaker 1>kill per lawnmowing session?

0:25:42.560 --> 0:25:43.439
<v Speaker 5>Ah? Fuck?

0:25:44.960 --> 0:25:47.080
<v Speaker 6>Per like per day? You think?

0:25:47.880 --> 0:25:50.920
<v Speaker 1>Sure? Yeah?

0:25:51.000 --> 0:25:56.320
<v Speaker 6>Per day? Like I probably kill like five snakes at

0:25:56.400 --> 0:25:58.280
<v Speaker 6>least to day. And that's just what I know about.

0:25:58.440 --> 0:26:01.840
<v Speaker 6>Like I can't imagine, ah, Like you know, the little

0:26:01.880 --> 0:26:05.600
<v Speaker 6>tiny baby snakes that are like the size of a worm. Yeah,

0:26:05.680 --> 0:26:09.119
<v Speaker 6>like those poor fuckers. I don't even like notice I have.

0:26:09.520 --> 0:26:12.719
<v Speaker 1>I have a lot of questions. Where what state are

0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:16.440
<v Speaker 1>you in where there's this this many snakes in people's lawns?

0:26:18.040 --> 0:26:21.600
<v Speaker 6>I live in Colorado, man, I didn't know there's this

0:26:21.720 --> 0:26:24.280
<v Speaker 6>many snakes out here but there?

0:26:24.480 --> 0:26:28.920
<v Speaker 1>And how many lawns are you mowing? Per day?

0:26:30.080 --> 0:26:35.120
<v Speaker 6>Uhmo? Around like thirty lawns a day.

0:26:35.920 --> 0:26:38.200
<v Speaker 1>That's a ship. How the fuck do you mow thirty

0:26:38.280 --> 0:26:40.840
<v Speaker 1>lawns a day? That's like how long is it take

0:26:40.840 --> 0:26:44.120
<v Speaker 1>you to a lawn?

0:26:44.200 --> 0:26:50.719
<v Speaker 6>It depends on the size of the but I mean

0:26:50.760 --> 0:26:53.639
<v Speaker 6>we're pretty fast. But it's me and one other guy.

0:26:56.240 --> 0:27:01.320
<v Speaker 1>And they are these like suburban homes or like commercial businesses.

0:27:01.920 --> 0:27:05.959
<v Speaker 6>Mostly like suburban homes.

0:27:06.480 --> 0:27:10.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so one in every okay, so thirty what's what's

0:27:11.040 --> 0:27:14.439
<v Speaker 1>so one in every six lawns has a snake in it?

0:27:17.880 --> 0:27:18.000
<v Speaker 2>Uh?

0:27:18.119 --> 0:27:21.560
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, at least dude, Like, I'd be seeing a lot

0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:24.920
<v Speaker 6>more snakes too, and I'm not running them over.

0:27:27.320 --> 0:27:31.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, I think about this. I think about this

0:27:31.680 --> 0:27:35.480
<v Speaker 1>a lot because, like, uh, you know, there's well, think

0:27:35.480 --> 0:27:39.560
<v Speaker 1>about the exterminator. You call an exterminator. He goes into

0:27:39.560 --> 0:27:41.320
<v Speaker 1>your house, he gets rid of all the bugs and

0:27:41.359 --> 0:27:45.840
<v Speaker 1>the mice and the vermin. Right, it's not really their

0:27:45.960 --> 0:27:51.719
<v Speaker 1>fault that they're there. They're not they like a like

0:27:51.760 --> 0:27:56.640
<v Speaker 1>a rat, is not in your house due to any

0:27:56.720 --> 0:28:00.200
<v Speaker 1>kind of active hostility. It's not being a dick. It's

0:28:00.200 --> 0:28:05.359
<v Speaker 1>not morally in the wrong for being there. But we

0:28:05.440 --> 0:28:09.480
<v Speaker 1>have all come to accept that that they have when

0:28:09.480 --> 0:28:14.240
<v Speaker 1>they encroach upon our territory. We are allowed and encouraged

0:28:14.680 --> 0:28:19.919
<v Speaker 1>and justified and murdering them. And I agree wholeheartedly. If

0:28:19.920 --> 0:28:23.119
<v Speaker 1>a snake or a rat or a skunk is in

0:28:23.200 --> 0:28:25.240
<v Speaker 1>my house, I'm calling a guy to come over and

0:28:25.320 --> 0:28:28.960
<v Speaker 1>kill it full scent. Absolutely, I'm part.

0:28:28.720 --> 0:28:32.200
<v Speaker 6>Of these snakes.

0:28:32.600 --> 0:28:32.960
<v Speaker 1>They're not.

0:28:33.920 --> 0:28:38.120
<v Speaker 6>You did not violate any any property rights or something.

0:28:38.160 --> 0:28:40.400
<v Speaker 6>You know, They're just mining their own damn business. Where

0:28:40.400 --> 0:28:44.160
<v Speaker 6>are they supposed to live when we build fucking suburbs

0:28:44.240 --> 0:28:45.200
<v Speaker 6>all over the place?

0:28:46.360 --> 0:28:47.760
<v Speaker 1>Could you not do you have time to if you

0:28:47.800 --> 0:28:51.000
<v Speaker 1>want to de snake the lawn? Could you? Could you

0:28:51.320 --> 0:28:54.080
<v Speaker 1>just shove the snake out with a broom before you

0:28:54.120 --> 0:28:54.680
<v Speaker 1>mow it over?

0:28:56.360 --> 0:29:00.880
<v Speaker 6>Well, yeah, I don't purposely run this snake, so if

0:29:00.880 --> 0:29:04.000
<v Speaker 6>I if I notice them, I'll kick him out of

0:29:04.040 --> 0:29:07.840
<v Speaker 6>the way first. But like, I don't know. We're just

0:29:07.880 --> 0:29:12.440
<v Speaker 6>going for efficiency all day, so I'm not like going

0:29:12.640 --> 0:29:15.440
<v Speaker 6>slow and like eyeball on the ground looking for snakes.

0:29:15.480 --> 0:29:17.840
<v Speaker 6>I just try to like avoid them when I catch them, you.

0:29:17.800 --> 0:29:21.800
<v Speaker 1>Know, Okay, all right? You, By the way, I think

0:29:21.880 --> 0:29:23.760
<v Speaker 1>here's why I think you're a little bit better than

0:29:23.800 --> 0:29:28.920
<v Speaker 1>Hitler is because Hitler. Hitler didn't have really have any sympathy.

0:29:28.960 --> 0:29:31.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't think for the people that he was killing.

0:29:32.120 --> 0:29:35.520
<v Speaker 1>You seem as though, at least you, but you would

0:29:35.560 --> 0:29:39.640
<v Speaker 1>like to not kill snakes. Hitler, I think he likes

0:29:40.600 --> 0:29:42.840
<v Speaker 1>I think he liked to kill. I think he enjoyed

0:29:42.880 --> 0:29:46.520
<v Speaker 1>the process of killing everyone that he killed. So that's

0:29:46.520 --> 0:29:48.360
<v Speaker 1>why I think you're a little bit better than Hitler.

0:29:48.440 --> 0:29:53.920
<v Speaker 6>Is that's a fair point.

0:29:55.320 --> 0:29:57.560
<v Speaker 1>Do you do you like snakes?

0:30:00.120 --> 0:30:02.680
<v Speaker 6>I fuck with them. I think they're pretty cool. I

0:30:02.680 --> 0:30:05.640
<v Speaker 6>mean I had one of them try to like bite me,

0:30:06.080 --> 0:30:08.920
<v Speaker 6>But besides that, they're pretty chill.

0:30:09.040 --> 0:30:12.440
<v Speaker 1>I this is kind of like the I please please

0:30:12.480 --> 0:30:14.640
<v Speaker 1>forgive me if I've gone on this rant on the

0:30:14.680 --> 0:30:19.800
<v Speaker 1>podcast before. But uh, you know how there's all these

0:30:19.840 --> 0:30:22.960
<v Speaker 1>like PSAs, like if you see a spotted lantern fly,

0:30:23.080 --> 0:30:28.400
<v Speaker 1>you should kill it. Yeah, it's like, well, why that's

0:30:28.600 --> 0:30:31.760
<v Speaker 1>I think that's kind of fucked up because they didn't

0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:36.360
<v Speaker 1>do anything. They're just doing what they do naturally. You know,

0:30:36.400 --> 0:30:39.720
<v Speaker 1>they're just fucking bugs. They don't understand our universe or

0:30:39.720 --> 0:30:44.240
<v Speaker 1>a delicate ecosystem. They're just being bugs, and we're gonna

0:30:44.280 --> 0:30:47.680
<v Speaker 1>kill them because because why because why?

0:30:50.960 --> 0:30:54.320
<v Speaker 6>It's a good question, I guess because we value our

0:30:54.880 --> 0:31:00.280
<v Speaker 6>ecosystem over the lives of these few bugs.

0:31:02.600 --> 0:31:04.880
<v Speaker 1>Man, you kill five snakes a day, that's crazy.

0:31:07.080 --> 0:31:09.719
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it's fucked up, man, fucked up. I had to

0:31:09.760 --> 0:31:12.000
<v Speaker 6>put one out of his misery the other day. It

0:31:12.040 --> 0:31:14.960
<v Speaker 6>was the first time I grew the balls to do it,

0:31:15.480 --> 0:31:17.920
<v Speaker 6>because most of the time, like I mean, sometimes you

0:31:18.040 --> 0:31:21.360
<v Speaker 6>like chop their head clean off. You know, there's no

0:31:21.400 --> 0:31:24.920
<v Speaker 6>coming back from that. But sometimes, you know, it just

0:31:24.960 --> 0:31:28.000
<v Speaker 6>like clips them a little bit, and like they're at

0:31:28.040 --> 0:31:31.040
<v Speaker 6>a point where like they're fucked up, but they're still alive,

0:31:31.200 --> 0:31:34.120
<v Speaker 6>you know, and they're not gonna make it out in nature.

0:31:35.000 --> 0:31:38.320
<v Speaker 6>I never really had the balls before to like put

0:31:38.400 --> 0:31:42.040
<v Speaker 6>them out of their misery, you know, Like I was like, god, man,

0:31:42.120 --> 0:31:45.440
<v Speaker 6>I'm sorry, but you're just gonna have to suffer. Someone

0:31:45.440 --> 0:31:47.480
<v Speaker 6>else has got to do you in I can't do it.

0:31:48.520 --> 0:31:52.920
<v Speaker 6>But you know, recently I've decided that, you know, I've

0:31:53.000 --> 0:31:55.400
<v Speaker 6>killed so many the least I can do is, like,

0:31:56.320 --> 0:31:59.200
<v Speaker 6>you know, stop their homies from suffering a little bit.

0:32:02.560 --> 0:32:06.960
<v Speaker 1>That's that's noble of you. I don't think Hitler would

0:32:07.000 --> 0:32:09.120
<v Speaker 1>have would have referred to the people he was killing

0:32:09.120 --> 0:32:12.840
<v Speaker 1>as homies either, So that's another reason why I think

0:32:13.080 --> 0:32:19.200
<v Speaker 1>ye did this? Did it make you feel better to

0:32:19.280 --> 0:32:20.320
<v Speaker 1>talk about this at least?

0:32:23.160 --> 0:32:28.640
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it's nice talk about it a little bit like.

0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:39.800
<v Speaker 1>Go ahead? What go ahead? You were saying something.

0:32:42.680 --> 0:32:45.240
<v Speaker 6>I was just saying, I'm feeling a bit less, like

0:32:45.600 --> 0:32:46.600
<v Speaker 6>snake Hitler.

0:32:48.000 --> 0:32:51.880
<v Speaker 1>That's good. Is there anything else you want to say

0:32:51.920 --> 0:32:54.600
<v Speaker 1>to the people of the computer before we go? Snake Hitler?

0:32:57.880 --> 0:33:01.800
<v Speaker 6>Yeah? You know, guys, just watch out for snakes, you know,

0:33:02.480 --> 0:33:07.360
<v Speaker 6>the cool with you slithering around? It's pretty funny when

0:33:07.400 --> 0:33:09.520
<v Speaker 6>they try to run for their lives. They're just like

0:33:09.800 --> 0:33:11.040
<v Speaker 6>slithering across the ground.

0:33:12.120 --> 0:33:16.280
<v Speaker 1>That's that. That is That is a little snake hitlery

0:33:16.800 --> 0:33:18.520
<v Speaker 1>to laugh at their pain. That is a little snake

0:33:18.560 --> 0:33:20.520
<v Speaker 1>hit all right.

0:33:21.280 --> 0:33:23.440
<v Speaker 6>Wait, they go with the concrete and then they like

0:33:23.520 --> 0:33:26.240
<v Speaker 6>can't give any grip. They're just like sliding across the

0:33:26.280 --> 0:33:29.000
<v Speaker 6>ground in one spot. It's pretty fun, all right.

0:33:32.320 --> 0:33:33.680
<v Speaker 1>I think you like killing these ns?

0:33:33.680 --> 0:33:38.959
<v Speaker 6>All right? No, no, no, no, no, all right. If

0:33:38.960 --> 0:33:41.720
<v Speaker 6>they're running for their lives, that's a good thing, because

0:33:41.720 --> 0:33:47.160
<v Speaker 6>then I won't kill them.

0:33:47.160 --> 0:33:47.760
<v Speaker 1>That's dark.

0:33:48.240 --> 0:33:50.280
<v Speaker 6>I also had a snake jump out of the way

0:33:50.320 --> 0:33:54.080
<v Speaker 6>I want That was pretty badass.

0:33:58.800 --> 0:33:59.840
<v Speaker 1>What's your real name?

0:34:02.400 --> 0:34:06.160
<v Speaker 6>My real name is Barney manur Oh yeah, I forgot

0:34:06.160 --> 0:34:06.520
<v Speaker 6>about that.

0:34:07.240 --> 0:34:08.399
<v Speaker 1>Take care Byarnie, thank you for coming.

0:34:08.480 --> 0:34:11.759
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, pretty yeah, I have a good one. Gay love

0:34:11.800 --> 0:34:12.440
<v Speaker 6>your streams.

0:34:12.719 --> 0:34:16.440
<v Speaker 1>Thank you brother. You know what's funny, I actually would

0:34:16.520 --> 0:34:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I like, I know, Hitler he killed a lot of people.

0:34:19.880 --> 0:34:22.160
<v Speaker 1>I bet there was some. I bet some animals slipped

0:34:22.160 --> 0:34:28.279
<v Speaker 1>in there with him. I bet he probably I would.

0:34:28.360 --> 0:34:30.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why. I just get this feeling, like,

0:34:31.000 --> 0:34:33.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean, with all the like crazy crap he was doing,

0:34:33.760 --> 0:34:36.400
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I mean he was in charge of

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:42.759
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, he he led the German army during

0:34:42.800 --> 0:34:46.000
<v Speaker 1>World War two. Right, there was like a lot of

0:34:46.000 --> 0:34:49.200
<v Speaker 1>stuff going on in World War Two, and I I

0:34:49.200 --> 0:34:53.719
<v Speaker 1>I'll love what I'm getting at. I'm no history buff or,

0:34:53.760 --> 0:34:55.400
<v Speaker 1>and I don't know a whole lot about Hitler, but

0:34:55.800 --> 0:34:58.960
<v Speaker 1>I part of me thinks it's quite possible that Hitler

0:34:59.400 --> 0:35:06.360
<v Speaker 1>actually more snakes than this guy did. I wouldn't be

0:35:06.400 --> 0:35:11.760
<v Speaker 1>surprised if Hitler killed at least ten snakes, even if indirectly,

0:35:12.400 --> 0:35:16.840
<v Speaker 1>just as a result of all the World War II stuff.

0:35:16.880 --> 0:35:21.799
<v Speaker 1>I bet some snakes died as a result of World

0:35:21.840 --> 0:35:25.719
<v Speaker 1>War two. And I bet it's quite possible that Hitler

0:35:26.239 --> 0:35:31.319
<v Speaker 1>is Hitler's actions indirectly resulted in the deaths of more

0:35:31.360 --> 0:35:36.720
<v Speaker 1>snakes than this guy's actions did. And that's another reason

0:35:36.760 --> 0:35:39.480
<v Speaker 1>I think he's he's a little bit better than Hitler.

0:35:40.400 --> 0:35:44.920
<v Speaker 1>Proan Michael, Hello, Hello, Hey, what's.

0:35:44.760 --> 0:35:45.840
<v Speaker 5>Up so much?

0:35:46.040 --> 0:35:47.439
<v Speaker 6>Thank you for taking my goal?

0:35:47.880 --> 0:35:50.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh, of course, of course, thank you for calling. How's

0:35:50.680 --> 0:35:53.319
<v Speaker 1>it going, brother, it's going well.

0:35:53.320 --> 0:35:55.640
<v Speaker 6>I'm just starting the workday for a while and watching

0:35:55.640 --> 0:35:57.400
<v Speaker 6>your stream, loving every second of it.

0:35:57.840 --> 0:36:01.520
<v Speaker 1>Thanks man. What uh? What's what's going on? Is there

0:36:01.560 --> 0:36:02.800
<v Speaker 1>a thing you wanted to talk about?

0:36:04.400 --> 0:36:06.000
<v Speaker 6>Well, it depends on how deep you want to go.

0:36:06.080 --> 0:36:07.920
<v Speaker 6>I could talk about the fact that my mother passed

0:36:07.920 --> 0:36:10.200
<v Speaker 6>away last year, where I could talk about the depression

0:36:10.239 --> 0:36:11.480
<v Speaker 6>I'm currently trying to deal with.

0:36:13.640 --> 0:36:14.719
<v Speaker 1>Why are you depressed?

0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:18.400
<v Speaker 6>You know, I'm trying to figure that out. I'm not

0:36:18.440 --> 0:36:21.640
<v Speaker 6>really sure. I'm actually like seeking I'll say, quote unquote

0:36:21.680 --> 0:36:24.480
<v Speaker 6>real therapy. I'm not really sure, you know, I just

0:36:24.480 --> 0:36:25.400
<v Speaker 6>financial struggles.

0:36:25.440 --> 0:36:27.400
<v Speaker 1>I think I don't think you have to put quotes

0:36:27.400 --> 0:36:35.000
<v Speaker 1>around real therapy. I think that's understandable. How old are you.

0:36:36.719 --> 0:36:37.200
<v Speaker 6>Twenty eight?

0:36:37.840 --> 0:36:42.920
<v Speaker 1>Twenty eight? Okay, we're about similar ages. Ish, Uh, what

0:36:43.040 --> 0:36:43.760
<v Speaker 1>do you do?

0:36:45.760 --> 0:36:49.080
<v Speaker 6>I'm a purchasing agent for a casino resort?

0:36:49.320 --> 0:36:50.640
<v Speaker 1>What is a purchasing agent?

0:36:52.239 --> 0:36:54.080
<v Speaker 6>So I just handle all the purchasing needs for the

0:36:54.120 --> 0:36:57.240
<v Speaker 6>casino whatever they need, different things.

0:36:57.960 --> 0:37:02.440
<v Speaker 1>What is like you buy like like a velvet rope?

0:37:04.640 --> 0:37:07.200
<v Speaker 6>I do, yeah, if they want it? Yeah, or flat

0:37:07.280 --> 0:37:12.440
<v Speaker 6>machine paper or sometimes it's a lot of soda. Surprisingly sure?

0:37:12.680 --> 0:37:18.120
<v Speaker 1>Sure? Well, I mean sure, yeah, man? What do you want?

0:37:18.120 --> 0:37:19.160
<v Speaker 1>What do you want to get in zoo?

0:37:20.960 --> 0:37:24.200
<v Speaker 6>Well? Do you got any relationship advice? I've been really

0:37:24.280 --> 0:37:26.279
<v Speaker 6>irritable and I just don't know how to deal with that.

0:37:26.640 --> 0:37:29.640
<v Speaker 1>No, I have. I am I'm terrible at relationship advice.

0:37:29.640 --> 0:37:36.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. What did you say? I interrupted you by saying, no.

0:37:34.600 --> 0:37:37.400
<v Speaker 6>No, don't worry about it. I just I'm so irritable,

0:37:37.400 --> 0:37:38.719
<v Speaker 6>and I just don't know what to do to like

0:37:39.080 --> 0:37:41.040
<v Speaker 6>catch it when it starts happening. You know, I can

0:37:41.120 --> 0:37:44.040
<v Speaker 6>feel like like I feel myself getting angry, and then

0:37:44.080 --> 0:37:45.840
<v Speaker 6>I just don't know how to handle that emotion.

0:37:46.320 --> 0:37:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, So are you in a relationship?

0:37:49.920 --> 0:37:52.000
<v Speaker 6>I am? You know, I've been married for six years?

0:37:52.440 --> 0:37:55.719
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow? Oh uh, and you're like, feel okay, so

0:37:55.760 --> 0:37:58.400
<v Speaker 1>you're telling me you're you have been married for six years?

0:37:59.239 --> 0:38:02.359
<v Speaker 1>And you feel your self getting irritable, and you're like,

0:38:02.600 --> 0:38:08.600
<v Speaker 1>I so don't want to like yell at my spouse,

0:38:08.920 --> 0:38:13.120
<v Speaker 1>but my I'm just getting really angry and frustrated.

0:38:14.239 --> 0:38:16.680
<v Speaker 6>Exactly exactly. Yeah, And I don't and I just don't

0:38:16.719 --> 0:38:19.200
<v Speaker 6>know how to handle that because I don't mean to

0:38:19.239 --> 0:38:21.120
<v Speaker 6>be mean to the people that I love, but it's

0:38:21.160 --> 0:38:22.520
<v Speaker 6>just what comes out of my mouth.

0:38:23.080 --> 0:38:26.440
<v Speaker 1>All right, So are you okay? First of all, you

0:38:26.480 --> 0:38:31.760
<v Speaker 1>should definitely go talk to a real therapist about this issue.

0:38:33.200 --> 0:38:37.040
<v Speaker 1>No quote, but uh, no quotes, no quotes. You should

0:38:37.040 --> 0:38:39.560
<v Speaker 1>talk to a I'm gonna bold it actually instead of

0:38:39.640 --> 0:38:44.319
<v Speaker 1>quoting it, I'm gonna bold and italicized real therapist for this.

0:38:45.640 --> 0:38:50.000
<v Speaker 1>But uh why okay? But so you here's that you

0:38:50.120 --> 0:38:53.200
<v Speaker 1>know that you're not mad at your spouse. You're just

0:38:53.360 --> 0:38:57.960
<v Speaker 1>mad about in life. Your brain is just firing off

0:38:58.680 --> 0:39:02.800
<v Speaker 1>and you're gonna take energy and dispense it in whatever

0:39:02.880 --> 0:39:07.200
<v Speaker 1>direction is it wants to go.

0:39:09.120 --> 0:39:11.960
<v Speaker 6>Exactly yeah, because it's just like like you're saying, you know,

0:39:12.000 --> 0:39:13.759
<v Speaker 6>it just starts coming at me and I can feel it,

0:39:14.040 --> 0:39:17.200
<v Speaker 6>and then it's just like it's hard to stop it.

0:39:18.960 --> 0:39:20.520
<v Speaker 1>Why are you mad?

0:39:21.960 --> 0:39:24.120
<v Speaker 6>I don't know? And and you know my wife asked

0:39:24.120 --> 0:39:26.319
<v Speaker 6>me that question. Also, I really don't know. I just

0:39:26.680 --> 0:39:30.000
<v Speaker 6>I just get so irritable and irritated by anything.

0:39:31.760 --> 0:39:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so let me you have a You have a job, right,

0:39:35.920 --> 0:39:39.839
<v Speaker 1>your's your job? Are you a W two employee at

0:39:39.840 --> 0:39:40.360
<v Speaker 1>this job?

0:39:41.880 --> 0:39:42.800
<v Speaker 6>Yeah? Two jobs?

0:39:43.000 --> 0:39:43.320
<v Speaker 5>Yes?

0:39:44.120 --> 0:39:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Do they offer you health insurance?

0:39:46.960 --> 0:39:48.799
<v Speaker 6>I do have health insurance, and that's where I'm that's

0:39:49.239 --> 0:39:50.400
<v Speaker 6>how I'm getting my therapy.

0:39:50.800 --> 0:39:58.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let me so look, man, I'm a crazy person

0:39:58.200 --> 0:40:00.800
<v Speaker 1>on the internet. I'm not a therapist. I'm not pretending

0:40:00.800 --> 0:40:02.960
<v Speaker 1>to be a therapist. This is not an advice show.

0:40:03.080 --> 0:40:06.960
<v Speaker 1>This is just I'm just a fucking guy, and I

0:40:07.080 --> 0:40:09.759
<v Speaker 1>have and I think about things, and these are my thing.

0:40:09.960 --> 0:40:17.160
<v Speaker 1>This is these are my thoughts. So, like, I think

0:40:17.440 --> 0:40:20.919
<v Speaker 1>the best thing you can do is just like take

0:40:20.960 --> 0:40:24.440
<v Speaker 1>a second, take a second and go into and with

0:40:24.719 --> 0:40:27.480
<v Speaker 1>therapy and psychiatry and all these things that your health

0:40:27.520 --> 0:40:30.320
<v Speaker 1>insurance is going to pay for from these jobs. You

0:40:30.360 --> 0:40:34.200
<v Speaker 1>go into yourself and you go, Okay, this is a problem.

0:40:34.600 --> 0:40:37.799
<v Speaker 1>I am identifying that this is a problem. I'm going

0:40:37.880 --> 0:40:41.440
<v Speaker 1>to try my best to work on this problem, and

0:40:41.560 --> 0:40:47.279
<v Speaker 1>like go go from there. You know, that's the best.

0:40:47.280 --> 0:40:49.040
<v Speaker 1>That sounds like the best thing you can do for

0:40:49.520 --> 0:40:50.840
<v Speaker 1>your for your family.

0:40:52.280 --> 0:40:54.440
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I appreciate that. That's exactly what I'm trying to do.

0:40:54.520 --> 0:40:58.080
<v Speaker 6>You know. Definitely, it's just hard to catch yourself, but yeah,

0:40:58.120 --> 0:40:58.880
<v Speaker 6>I'm definitely trying.

0:40:59.560 --> 0:41:01.800
<v Speaker 1>You're like, I mean, how many movies are there about

0:41:01.840 --> 0:41:05.879
<v Speaker 1>like a guy who's possessed and she's about to kill

0:41:05.920 --> 0:41:11.080
<v Speaker 1>someone and the person's like, what's your name again? My

0:41:11.160 --> 0:41:14.200
<v Speaker 1>name is Michael, like Michael, the real Michael. I'm talking

0:41:14.200 --> 0:41:16.799
<v Speaker 1>to the real Michael here. And the guy's like, I

0:41:16.960 --> 0:41:20.680
<v Speaker 1>must fight the demon. You gotta do it. You gotta

0:41:20.680 --> 0:41:23.120
<v Speaker 1>fight the demon. I mean, hopefully you're not pointing a

0:41:23.160 --> 0:41:24.200
<v Speaker 1>gun in anyone.

0:41:23.960 --> 0:41:27.759
<v Speaker 6>But no, definitely, nothing physical. It's just I just I

0:41:27.840 --> 0:41:31.520
<v Speaker 6>just ye know, and you know, storm off into my

0:41:31.640 --> 0:41:32.480
<v Speaker 6>room like a child.

0:41:33.120 --> 0:41:37.520
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm mm hmm. Yeah. I don't know, man, Maybe

0:41:37.800 --> 0:41:40.279
<v Speaker 1>God I shouldn't be telling people this, but maybe it's

0:41:40.440 --> 0:41:42.759
<v Speaker 1>meds or I don't I don't know, I don't know.

0:41:43.760 --> 0:41:46.160
<v Speaker 6>Well, I will say that's what a real psychiatrist is for. Yes,

0:41:46.280 --> 0:41:48.280
<v Speaker 6>definitely figure that go to a real.

0:41:48.239 --> 0:41:51.840
<v Speaker 1>Go to a real psychiatry. Well do you can? I

0:41:51.960 --> 0:41:55.279
<v Speaker 1>you asked me for relationship advice. I'm not good. I'm

0:41:55.600 --> 0:41:58.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't I can I Is there any other aspect

0:41:58.480 --> 0:41:59.960
<v Speaker 1>of this you want to you want to talk about?

0:42:00.680 --> 0:42:02.680
<v Speaker 1>I guess before before we go, I think you should

0:42:02.719 --> 0:42:07.879
<v Speaker 1>totally go to a real psych therapist person. You don't

0:42:07.920 --> 0:42:13.399
<v Speaker 1>sound like a bad guy. You sound like you know

0:42:13.520 --> 0:42:15.680
<v Speaker 1>that you have some problems and that you're gonna try

0:42:15.719 --> 0:42:16.840
<v Speaker 1>to fix them.

0:42:17.320 --> 0:42:19.200
<v Speaker 6>Yeah. I definitely am trying to fix some I just

0:42:19.320 --> 0:42:21.359
<v Speaker 6>I uh, you know, thank you for taking my call.

0:42:21.440 --> 0:42:24.080
<v Speaker 6>And and if anything, I would say to the people

0:42:24.080 --> 0:42:26.040
<v Speaker 6>of the internet, you know, just stay strong no matter

0:42:26.080 --> 0:42:28.160
<v Speaker 6>what I'm I'm going through a lot, but you just

0:42:28.200 --> 0:42:30.640
<v Speaker 6>have to stay strong. There's no other choice.

0:42:31.200 --> 0:42:32.480
<v Speaker 1>Hey, take care man, and good luck.

0:42:33.560 --> 0:42:34.640
<v Speaker 6>Thank you. I appreciate you.

0:42:40.719 --> 0:42:44.239
<v Speaker 1>He buys diet coke for the casino. That's cool. If

0:42:44.280 --> 0:42:45.799
<v Speaker 1>I did that job, you know what I would do.

0:42:46.120 --> 0:42:49.240
<v Speaker 1>I would fucking order I would like take the company

0:42:49.320 --> 0:42:52.640
<v Speaker 1>credit card and I would order a bunch of diet coke.

0:42:52.680 --> 0:42:54.640
<v Speaker 1>I would get fired from that job because I would

0:42:55.160 --> 0:43:00.239
<v Speaker 1>use it to siphon off free diet coke or maybe

0:43:00.320 --> 0:43:03.280
<v Speaker 1>or maybe not maybe you know what, look the casino,

0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:07.000
<v Speaker 1>you order a palette, Well, how many palt you order?

0:43:07.080 --> 0:43:10.600
<v Speaker 1>Like ten pallettes? A diet coke. I'd take a couple

0:43:10.640 --> 0:43:14.080
<v Speaker 1>off the truck. I would take a couple of palettes

0:43:14.080 --> 0:43:15.799
<v Speaker 1>off the truck of diet coke off the truck. They're

0:43:15.800 --> 0:43:18.520
<v Speaker 1>not going to notice a couple of diet cokes out

0:43:18.560 --> 0:43:20.560
<v Speaker 1>of like, well, how many diet cokes are in a palette,

0:43:20.600 --> 0:43:23.799
<v Speaker 1>like a bunch. They're not going to notice a couple

0:43:24.080 --> 0:43:28.239
<v Speaker 1>diet cokes missing. And that's an issue I'm not going

0:43:28.320 --> 0:43:32.440
<v Speaker 1>to work on. I'm not. I'm this guy, this caller,

0:43:32.960 --> 0:43:35.400
<v Speaker 1>he was like, I've identified that I have an issue,

0:43:35.400 --> 0:43:40.319
<v Speaker 1>and I'm going to go work on it and try

0:43:40.320 --> 0:43:43.279
<v Speaker 1>to solve it. I'm not gonna do that with my

0:43:43.360 --> 0:43:46.760
<v Speaker 1>diet coke addiction. I've identified. I'm not even gonna identify

0:43:46.800 --> 0:43:51.160
<v Speaker 1>that it's a problem. I'm just gonna suck on that

0:43:52.840 --> 0:43:59.759
<v Speaker 1>diet teat until I die. Hello. Hello, Hi, what's your name?

0:44:01.160 --> 0:44:01.600
<v Speaker 3>Borsa?

0:44:02.840 --> 0:44:09.240
<v Speaker 1>Larissa? Yeah, that's fine, Larissa. What's up, Larissa? How's how's life?

0:44:10.880 --> 0:44:12.320
<v Speaker 4>That's great? How about you?

0:44:13.400 --> 0:44:13.520
<v Speaker 5>Uh?

0:44:13.920 --> 0:44:18.840
<v Speaker 1>Life's good? Uh, it's Sonny out. I'm doing. It's eleven

0:44:19.120 --> 0:44:23.480
<v Speaker 1>thirty four in the in the morning. Where I am.

0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:26.840
<v Speaker 1>I feel good, I feel caffeinated, I feel awake, I

0:44:26.880 --> 0:44:30.560
<v Speaker 1>feel ready to talk. What's up with? What's give you

0:44:30.600 --> 0:44:33.359
<v Speaker 1>the rundown? Larissa? What's what's going on? What brings you

0:44:34.239 --> 0:44:37.400
<v Speaker 1>to uh to life today?

0:44:38.840 --> 0:44:40.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:44:40.239 --> 0:44:44.080
<v Speaker 5>Well, I'm fighting the urge to cuss out my supervisor today.

0:44:44.200 --> 0:44:48.879
<v Speaker 1>So I'm fighting the urge to cuss out your supervisor.

0:44:48.920 --> 0:44:53.759
<v Speaker 5>Why is that he has a serious pokemonngo it Dish

0:44:53.880 --> 0:44:58.799
<v Speaker 5>network and we are getting loaded with his work so

0:44:58.880 --> 0:45:00.480
<v Speaker 5>he can play umoo.

0:45:01.239 --> 0:45:04.360
<v Speaker 1>Really he's he's slacking off and the work's being pushed

0:45:04.360 --> 0:45:10.200
<v Speaker 1>onto you. Yeah, what what is? What do you do?

0:45:12.120 --> 0:45:14.759
<v Speaker 5>I work at a hospital.

0:45:14.960 --> 0:45:19.480
<v Speaker 3>We do like, oh, our instrumentation. It's called sterile processing.

0:45:20.160 --> 0:45:25.120
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, he is super lazy and he's supposed to

0:45:25.120 --> 0:45:33.160
<v Speaker 3>be doing his job and he just pop amongo's all day.

0:45:33.840 --> 0:45:36.359
<v Speaker 1>Do you ever have you talked to him and been like, hey,

0:45:36.360 --> 0:45:39.080
<v Speaker 1>can you stop doing that? Oh?

0:45:39.160 --> 0:45:42.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, like we'll call him out. We just did it yesterday.

0:45:42.320 --> 0:45:47.800
<v Speaker 5>We actually gotting into a huge group chat like argument,

0:45:47.880 --> 0:45:51.920
<v Speaker 5>debate about it. But we're getting a talking to tonight.

0:45:52.000 --> 0:45:55.480
<v Speaker 5>I work night shift, so we'll see what I get

0:45:55.520 --> 0:45:56.320
<v Speaker 5>talked to about.

0:45:56.440 --> 0:45:59.000
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, we are like, hey, can you like.

0:45:59.000 --> 0:45:59.440
<v Speaker 2>Not do that.

0:45:59.480 --> 0:46:00.239
<v Speaker 3>We'll have like.

0:46:00.320 --> 0:46:05.160
<v Speaker 5>Daily meetings and he'll be playing it actively and we're like, hey,

0:46:05.200 --> 0:46:07.000
<v Speaker 5>can you get off that? He goes no, like I

0:46:07.040 --> 0:46:09.800
<v Speaker 5>do it all the time, Like he actually has a problem,

0:46:10.160 --> 0:46:11.359
<v Speaker 5>Like so so you.

0:46:11.360 --> 0:46:13.560
<v Speaker 1>Got, I'm so I'm curious, so you got. So you

0:46:13.600 --> 0:46:16.319
<v Speaker 1>work at a hospital. So if his work doesn't get

0:46:16.360 --> 0:46:19.759
<v Speaker 1>if his work doesn't get done, who suffers? Is it

0:46:19.840 --> 0:46:21.799
<v Speaker 1>like a company or is it or like do.

0:46:21.800 --> 0:46:26.319
<v Speaker 5>People get as a whole? So we he's supposed to

0:46:26.320 --> 0:46:31.359
<v Speaker 5>be ordering stuff like we do, like trauma cases. If

0:46:31.400 --> 0:46:33.400
<v Speaker 5>we have any hands and they get a little like

0:46:33.440 --> 0:46:36.239
<v Speaker 5>screws in their hands, those are gone. So he's got

0:46:36.320 --> 0:46:40.680
<v Speaker 5>to reorder those parts. And now we're having to do

0:46:40.719 --> 0:46:46.040
<v Speaker 5>his job because they're not having enough pieces to go

0:46:46.080 --> 0:46:49.359
<v Speaker 5>in their sets for emergency cases. So it's a big

0:46:49.400 --> 0:46:52.000
<v Speaker 5>deal and he's just gonna put it on us.

0:46:52.360 --> 0:46:56.400
<v Speaker 3>That way, he doesn't have to worry about it.

0:46:56.440 --> 0:46:59.040
<v Speaker 1>Is he How close is he to catching a mewtwo

0:46:59.440 --> 0:47:02.200
<v Speaker 1>or or hello, I.

0:47:02.120 --> 0:47:06.120
<v Speaker 5>Have no I to you? Okay, I have friends that

0:47:06.200 --> 0:47:08.400
<v Speaker 5>play it and I don't play Pokemon go at all.

0:47:08.440 --> 0:47:11.640
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, can you please like come wreck him at

0:47:11.640 --> 0:47:13.560
<v Speaker 5>work and just like ruin him?

0:47:13.920 --> 0:47:15.279
<v Speaker 1>Do Yeah, that's what you got to do. You got

0:47:15.480 --> 0:47:17.920
<v Speaker 1>you gotta you gotta get one of your friends to go.

0:47:18.280 --> 0:47:20.360
<v Speaker 1>You gotta do it like Pokemon, where you have to

0:47:20.400 --> 0:47:23.759
<v Speaker 1>defeat him in battle to get him to do his job.

0:47:23.920 --> 0:47:25.920
<v Speaker 5>We could get his work done right.

0:47:26.120 --> 0:47:28.120
<v Speaker 1>Well, who's his who's his boss? Do you know who

0:47:28.200 --> 0:47:30.359
<v Speaker 1>his bosses? Yeah?

0:47:30.440 --> 0:47:33.680
<v Speaker 5>Like he he's there too in the meeting. He'll see

0:47:33.719 --> 0:47:37.359
<v Speaker 5>him doing it, and he goes. Well. His argument is, well,

0:47:37.400 --> 0:47:39.440
<v Speaker 5>we go on our phones. We don't go on our phones.

0:47:39.520 --> 0:47:42.000
<v Speaker 5>We have earbuds in and we listened. I listened to

0:47:42.000 --> 0:47:43.960
<v Speaker 5>you all day to get through my day. So just

0:47:44.000 --> 0:47:46.480
<v Speaker 5>so you know, I'm cleaning blood and guts and gore

0:47:46.560 --> 0:47:49.960
<v Speaker 5>out of DUTs while I'm listening to you all day.

0:47:50.320 --> 0:47:51.000
<v Speaker 4>That's all I do.

0:47:51.440 --> 0:47:53.480
<v Speaker 1>Beautiful, That's what this is meant for. That's what this

0:47:53.600 --> 0:47:54.040
<v Speaker 1>was meant for.

0:47:55.760 --> 0:47:56.840
<v Speaker 5>You get me through Monday.

0:47:57.440 --> 0:48:01.279
<v Speaker 1>Well, god, damn, I don't know. I don't know. This

0:48:01.360 --> 0:48:04.680
<v Speaker 1>is a tricky This is a it is a tricky

0:48:04.680 --> 0:48:08.120
<v Speaker 1>one because like, you can't you like I'm always of

0:48:08.160 --> 0:48:09.960
<v Speaker 1>the opinion, I'm kind of the opinion. You can't like

0:48:10.080 --> 0:48:13.480
<v Speaker 1>make fucking anyone like do anything.

0:48:14.640 --> 0:48:15.840
<v Speaker 5>Oh no, you can't.

0:48:16.320 --> 0:48:18.400
<v Speaker 1>But you talk to him about it. You talk to

0:48:18.440 --> 0:48:24.200
<v Speaker 1>the supervisor about it, yeah, and no one cares.

0:48:25.160 --> 0:48:27.880
<v Speaker 5>Everyone knows. They just laugh about it and it's like okay,

0:48:27.920 --> 0:48:33.000
<v Speaker 5>but it's affecting us now. So today I'm gonna like

0:48:33.120 --> 0:48:35.960
<v Speaker 5>let them know. I'm going to higher ups if they

0:48:35.960 --> 0:48:38.920
<v Speaker 5>don't take care of it. I guess. So when Pokemon

0:48:39.080 --> 0:48:41.800
<v Speaker 5>first came out, like POKEMONO.

0:48:41.600 --> 0:48:44.360
<v Speaker 6>There was issues where they had.

0:48:44.239 --> 0:48:48.160
<v Speaker 5>To contact like the POKEMONO creators and help get it

0:48:48.239 --> 0:48:52.280
<v Speaker 5>banned from hospitals because all the workers and like people

0:48:52.440 --> 0:48:55.759
<v Speaker 5>from like the woodworks would come out park in the

0:48:55.800 --> 0:48:58.520
<v Speaker 5>hospital parking and there wouldn't be any room for emergency

0:48:59.000 --> 0:48:59.920
<v Speaker 5>like people to come in.

0:49:00.640 --> 0:49:02.520
<v Speaker 4>So I guess you can get it banned.

0:49:02.680 --> 0:49:09.200
<v Speaker 5>Pokemon go like primarily banned from.

0:49:08.320 --> 0:49:12.960
<v Speaker 4>Hospitals, So we are looking into doing that next because

0:49:13.160 --> 0:49:16.000
<v Speaker 4>it'd be so funny to watch him try to play

0:49:16.480 --> 0:49:19.240
<v Speaker 4>and he's like, no, I can't play.

0:49:19.719 --> 0:49:21.319
<v Speaker 1>I mean that sounds like a good I don't think

0:49:21.360 --> 0:49:23.800
<v Speaker 1>that people. Yeah, I mean it sounds because I remember

0:49:23.840 --> 0:49:27.000
<v Speaker 1>in like the I forget what fucking summer was, like

0:49:27.000 --> 0:49:29.920
<v Speaker 1>it's twenty sixteen or seventeen or whatever, where like everyone

0:49:29.960 --> 0:49:31.520
<v Speaker 1>was obsessed with it and you would go out and

0:49:31.520 --> 0:49:36.480
<v Speaker 1>like everyone would like rush the places that had the

0:49:36.600 --> 0:49:40.920
<v Speaker 1>legendary Pokemon, and I think having a legendary Pokemon spawned

0:49:40.920 --> 0:49:43.200
<v Speaker 1>at a fuck at a hospital probably sounds like a

0:49:43.239 --> 0:49:43.800
<v Speaker 1>bad idea.

0:49:43.880 --> 0:49:47.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it is a bad idea. Yeah, there was a

0:49:47.640 --> 0:49:51.200
<v Speaker 5>lot of issues. There had a been this. They had

0:49:51.200 --> 0:49:54.319
<v Speaker 5>to block it from there. Yeah, it was crazy. I

0:49:54.360 --> 0:49:59.080
<v Speaker 5>didn't know about this until yesterday because we talked about solutions.

0:50:00.200 --> 0:50:04.120
<v Speaker 5>I just want to take his Pokemon and crush them.

0:50:04.480 --> 0:50:06.560
<v Speaker 5>I think that's going to be my first step. Is

0:50:06.600 --> 0:50:08.520
<v Speaker 5>I'm going to become a Pokemon master.

0:50:09.640 --> 0:50:12.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean that's the only Sorry I'm not I

0:50:12.480 --> 0:50:17.080
<v Speaker 1>have no advice for you, not that this is an advice.

0:50:16.080 --> 0:50:19.680
<v Speaker 5>I want to talk about how ridiculous it was.

0:50:20.200 --> 0:50:24.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, why don't you download Poke? Why don't you

0:50:24.239 --> 0:50:27.239
<v Speaker 1>download Pokemon Go? And maybe you can get really good

0:50:27.280 --> 0:50:29.080
<v Speaker 1>at it and beat him and that's how you can

0:50:29.080 --> 0:50:30.280
<v Speaker 1>get his attention.

0:50:31.960 --> 0:50:34.839
<v Speaker 5>That'd be great, I think. I think that's what my

0:50:34.880 --> 0:50:35.279
<v Speaker 5>thing is.

0:50:35.440 --> 0:50:37.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, Larissa, is there anything else you want to

0:50:37.360 --> 0:50:39.000
<v Speaker 1>say to the people of the computer before we go?

0:50:40.920 --> 0:50:43.279
<v Speaker 5>Uh? If you were at a hospital, please don't play

0:50:43.280 --> 0:50:46.440
<v Speaker 5>Pokemon goe.

0:50:46.880 --> 0:50:52.239
<v Speaker 1>Alright, Bye, I've been told I kind of look like

0:50:52.239 --> 0:50:55.960
<v Speaker 1>a tree co nobody's told me that I just came

0:50:56.040 --> 0:50:59.200
<v Speaker 1>to that conclusion. I came to that conclusion on my own.

0:50:59.800 --> 0:51:03.440
<v Speaker 1>But looking at pictures of Treco, there Repket goes on

0:51:03.560 --> 0:51:05.600
<v Speaker 1>the line, taking your phone.

0:51:05.239 --> 0:51:06.200
<v Speaker 3>Calls every night.

0:51:06.560 --> 0:51:09.239
<v Speaker 1>There repin Can goes doing to ride. He's teaching you

0:51:09.400 --> 0:51:13.279
<v Speaker 1>cloud and your life, but he's not really an expert.