WEBVTT - Question Everything When Finding Love

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<v Speaker 1>iHeart podcasts, bring you the ultimate Summer of Love Tree.

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<v Speaker 1>This is famously available. It's been here with an episode

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<v Speaker 1>of our new favorite show, and it is absolutely incredible,

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<v Speaker 1>famously available. The best job in the world is the

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<v Speaker 1>job I have right now where I get to chat

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<v Speaker 1>with incredible single women. Today, we have one of my favorites,

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<v Speaker 1>former Bachelorette Dianna Stagliano favorites.

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<v Speaker 2>Am I living up to that?

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<v Speaker 1>Ben? Oh? Every time? Yeah, this has been like a blast.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm really glad you got a full dose of me

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<v Speaker 2>over the last forty eight hours. Oh, it'll be changed forever.

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<v Speaker 1>I will never be the same. No, it's going to

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<v Speaker 1>be a better version of myself. As soon as I

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<v Speaker 1>walked into the Verbo Summer lake House and Lake Tahoe

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<v Speaker 1>and I saw you there, you have like this ability

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<v Speaker 1>to gather a group and entertain like you like people

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<v Speaker 1>kind of gravitate to be around you. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if you ever notice that in your life, but like

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<v Speaker 1>you bring a crowd and it's pretty incredible to witness.

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<v Speaker 2>That's really kind. Thank you. I don't notice that about myself.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't start watching You're very very rarely alone in

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<v Speaker 1>social gatherings because I think people just like to be

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<v Speaker 1>around you.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I'm an I'm an extrovert at heart, like

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<v Speaker 2>I like, through and through, I am an extrovert. I

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<v Speaker 2>also just thank you for saying that I'm very flattered.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know how much they're paying you for this, Ben,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know either at this point, So yeah, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for saying that. I think I just tried

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<v Speaker 2>to lead with like just being true to myself, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean. I tend to think I'm pretty

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<v Speaker 2>genuine and I don't want anyone to read between the lines.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to be myself, but also be the good

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<v Speaker 2>version myself. Every day I'm waking up like I want

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<v Speaker 2>to be a better person. I want to be a

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<v Speaker 2>better mother, I want to be a better woman. I'd

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<v Speaker 2>like to be a better partner someday to someone, But

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<v Speaker 2>I just want to be good. Like that's it at

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<v Speaker 2>the end of the day. I just want to be

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<v Speaker 2>a good person. And I cherish genuine friendships and relationships.

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<v Speaker 2>I really value that. I don't do surface level well,

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<v Speaker 2>so the people that I do spend my time with,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, like, I genuinely want to get to

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<v Speaker 2>know you. I want to get to know that wall.

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<v Speaker 2>I can sit here for the next hour and genuinely

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<v Speaker 2>know that window behind you, like I just don't do

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<v Speaker 2>surface level very well. I cherish that you know.

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<v Speaker 1>What and I see that a prayer of my heart

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<v Speaker 1>this year to my wife was I told her personally,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm thirty six years old. In the last ten years

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<v Speaker 1>of my life, I've had very few people ask me

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<v Speaker 1>questions to actually get to know me. And my wife

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<v Speaker 1>sees it. She's like, I get that, I've seen you

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<v Speaker 1>around social gets, I've seen you around friends, like nobody

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<v Speaker 1>really like spends time to try to understand, like what

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<v Speaker 1>makes Ben tick. And I said, it's a priyer in

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<v Speaker 1>my heart to get that this year, you do a

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<v Speaker 1>great job at it, which I think is one of

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<v Speaker 1>the many reasons why this is going to be a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of fun for me to sit in a seat

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<v Speaker 1>of being able to walk alongside of you, but also

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<v Speaker 1>just witness like you putting yourself out there to the world,

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<v Speaker 1>having hilarious stories from dates, having really great stories from dates,

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<v Speaker 1>and men getting to sit with you and for you to,

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<v Speaker 1>no matter what, take the time to get to know them.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's going to do great things for them

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<v Speaker 1>and for you and for me. And it's a journey

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<v Speaker 1>that I can't wait for the listener to follow on.

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<v Speaker 1>I did mention we're at the Verbo Summerhouse in Lake

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<v Speaker 1>the upfront price. And as I said, we're here at

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<v Speaker 1>the Verbo Summerhouse in Lake Tahoe right now. It is beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>It is incredible, And going back to what we were just

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<v Speaker 1>talking about, we are surrounded by some really special people.

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<v Speaker 1>It's one of my favorite parts about getting together in

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<v Speaker 1>a group setting with people that I don't know personally,

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<v Speaker 1>usually coming into them and just getting to know people better.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been funny over the years of doing things like this.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't always like see eye to eye with everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>but seeing everybody's different person and kind of understanding how

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<v Speaker 1>they tick has been just like fascinating and fun and

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<v Speaker 1>allowed me to feel still so connected to the people

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<v Speaker 1>of the past and then the people that have just

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<v Speaker 1>you know, walked off the show.

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<v Speaker 2>Recently, I was saying this to a friend of mine

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<v Speaker 2>this morning, is like you can see where some of

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<v Speaker 2>the people coming in the lights are still on, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean, And there must be I can't

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<v Speaker 2>imagine anything more fun than putting a bunch of washed

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<v Speaker 2>up reality stars in one house. And who gets more attention.

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<v Speaker 2>My story is more important, I'm more famous, I make

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<v Speaker 2>more money. My story is way more cool. I think

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<v Speaker 2>it is also really incredible to see it when you

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<v Speaker 2>walk into a room, right, this is a very fun

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<v Speaker 2>situation all of us here and here everybody share their stories,

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<v Speaker 2>their experience, and it is different but also the same

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<v Speaker 2>on so many levels. But what I appreciate about you

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<v Speaker 2>and I think that I am the same, is I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't have this expectation when I came off the show

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<v Speaker 2>that I was going to be this big star, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean. And I shared with you last

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<v Speaker 2>night how much money I actually made. Like I genuinely

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<v Speaker 2>went on the show for the right reasons. Yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>also a little stupid.

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<v Speaker 1>But I fall in that same category of not a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of money and not right reasons and very stupid

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<v Speaker 1>and saying yes to something that was making two hundred

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<v Speaker 1>and fifty million dollars.

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<v Speaker 2>But think about it, there are a few things in

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<v Speaker 2>my life that have changed the trajectory of my life.

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<v Speaker 2>And I have a long story of resilience. I just do.

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<v Speaker 2>I just have to overcome some really hard things in

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<v Speaker 2>my life. But going on the Bachelor and the becoming

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<v Speaker 2>the Bachelorette changed the trajectory of my life. That was

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<v Speaker 2>one of the first. The second was getting married and

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<v Speaker 2>then divorced. It's not how you see your life, but

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<v Speaker 2>I think that when you look back on those moments,

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<v Speaker 2>there are places where I personally and I want to

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<v Speaker 2>surround myself with people of the same. There is growth

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<v Speaker 2>to be found to be had in those moments, right,

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<v Speaker 2>And you were saying the conversation thing you can't teach

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<v Speaker 2>that to people what your wife told you. I think

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<v Speaker 2>that many times when I walk away, I think I

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<v Speaker 2>just had dinner with someone and they never asked me

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<v Speaker 2>one question about myself. They didn't. And I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if people just don't learn that, or if it's us

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<v Speaker 2>as humans we have this egotistical piece in us that

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<v Speaker 2>we just can't help. You just can't help it, right,

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<v Speaker 2>it's human nature, but that they just can't see past themselves.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you understand what I'm saying?

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<v Speaker 1>One hundred percent, one hundred percent see that. And that's

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<v Speaker 1>why I mean I said, I think when it comes

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<v Speaker 1>to this experience, you are I don't know if you

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<v Speaker 1>see yourself in this. I see you right now as

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<v Speaker 1>a great dater, meaning you're going to go on some

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<v Speaker 1>fantastic dates because you are going to invest into the

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<v Speaker 1>other side. And I hope that they reciprocate and invest

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<v Speaker 1>into you.

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<v Speaker 2>But that'll be a hard past for me. Say we

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<v Speaker 2>go on this really great day, and not that I

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<v Speaker 2>haven't been on really great dates before in my entire life,

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<v Speaker 2>but I have a hard time walking away and thinking, Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>that person didn't choose to get to know me at all. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>And again I can talk to a wall I have

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<v Speaker 2>no problem with that. I can sit through a two

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<v Speaker 2>hour long date and no, I'm not going to have

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<v Speaker 2>a second date, but still genuinely get to know someone

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<v Speaker 2>and hear about their life or their experience. I can

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<v Speaker 2>absolutely do that. I can find appreciation in that. But

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<v Speaker 2>I will not choose to invest in someone or go

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<v Speaker 2>on a second date for when it's not reciprocated. Like

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<v Speaker 2>reciprocation is so important to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and a few years in the marriage now one

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<v Speaker 1>of the most incredible pieces of being married is the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that I have somebody in my life who wants

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<v Speaker 1>to get to know me, like her cry of her

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<v Speaker 1>heart is to get to know me, and I don't

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<v Speaker 1>always allow it because I'm not used to it. I

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<v Speaker 1>spent an hour and a half with Producer Easton last night,

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<v Speaker 1>and he asked me questions about myself that nobody's ever

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<v Speaker 1>asked me. It was amazing, It's therapeutic. I loved it.

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<v Speaker 1>I went to bed and say, my head against the pillows. Goodness,

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<v Speaker 1>you talked about yourself a lot last night. But it's

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<v Speaker 1>just because I'm uncomfortable with it. And it's the same

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<v Speaker 1>thing happens with my wife. It's one of the coolest

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<v Speaker 1>parts about marriage is you have a teammate that says,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to know you inside and out, your fears,

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<v Speaker 1>your insecurities, your joys, your successes, and I want to

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<v Speaker 1>do that for the rest of my life because those

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<v Speaker 1>are going to change.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to tell you at the end of the night.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you do a gratitude list or not,

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<v Speaker 2>but I don't always write it down, but I have

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<v Speaker 2>some things that I just run through my head, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean, quickly as I'm laying my head

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<v Speaker 2>down on the pillow. And that's something to be really

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<v Speaker 2>grateful for because I believe that relationships. I don't care

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<v Speaker 2>if you get married or two men, two women, a

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<v Speaker 2>man and a wife, I don't, you know, partnership, that's

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<v Speaker 2>how it should be. That's really beautiful to have a partner,

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<v Speaker 2>a spouse, someone who genuinely wants to know you and

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<v Speaker 2>love you and support you. Like that's really beautiful. And

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<v Speaker 2>imagine how many people don't have that. Like at the

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<v Speaker 2>end of the day, Ben, I would be laying my

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<v Speaker 2>sweet little head down and going, thank you God, thank

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<v Speaker 2>you that she wants to deeply know me.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's uh, thank you God.

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<v Speaker 2>That Easton wants to deeply know you.

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<v Speaker 1>I know there's some there's like some really special moments,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's it's been incredible. But it's also been the

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<v Speaker 1>prayer of the year for me, as somebody would ask

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<v Speaker 1>me a question about myself, which gets me into asking

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<v Speaker 1>you a bunch of questions about yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so good at this. Yeah, super shy.

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<v Speaker 1>These are some wild questions. Let's start all right, your age.

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<v Speaker 1>I am forty three, forty three years old. Describe your

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<v Speaker 1>physical appearance. If somebody's listening and they're like, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>really know what Deanna looks like, how would you describe yourself?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm five foot four, which is average?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it?

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<v Speaker 2>It is? I think it is. I think for a woman,

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<v Speaker 2>five foot four is average. Okay, now listen, I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>always right. A lot of times I am ben.

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<v Speaker 1>But I might question the five foot four thing. We

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<v Speaker 1>need to give get a measurement out here.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you see me against all the women in pickleball?

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<v Speaker 2>I was the tallest of the group and I'm never

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<v Speaker 2>the tallest of the group. Yeah, but it's good because

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<v Speaker 2>I like to be shorter, like a really tall man.

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<v Speaker 1>You're a great partner, fierce.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm an excellent pickleball player.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you're an athlete. That's one way I describe yourself. Athlete.

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<v Speaker 2>True, yeah, true, I will not argue with you.

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<v Speaker 1>Amazing gun.

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<v Speaker 2>You can really she does have a potty mouth as well.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, you can get into it. Can you as

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<v Speaker 1>you describe your physical appearance, can you just if you're

0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.760
<v Speaker 1>hitting a pickleball. We played in a pickleball tournament out

0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:34.040
<v Speaker 1>here in Lake Tahoe. If you're hitting a ball, can

0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:35.960
<v Speaker 1>you just give us an example of what your grunt.

0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:39.560
<v Speaker 2>I won't do it in here. This is embarrassing, and

0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:42.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm so thankful. As the day went on yesterday, I

0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:44.880
<v Speaker 2>did have this mental moment where I was like, oh,

0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:47.559
<v Speaker 2>thank God no one is filming this, Like, thank you

0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:50.880
<v Speaker 2>Lord for allowing me to be my favorite, my free

0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:54.000
<v Speaker 2>self right now. I'm poor Ben Right. We have had

0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.280
<v Speaker 2>a luxury of like knowing of each other over the years,

0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.600
<v Speaker 2>but this is the most time we've actually spent together. Yeah,

0:11:58.640 --> 0:11:59.720
<v Speaker 2>how great, am I.

0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:03.400
<v Speaker 1>You're a thank you? Yeah, thank you? Brown eyes, brown eyes.

0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:05.120
<v Speaker 2>I have nice big eyes.

0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:06.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, shoes eyes.

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:10.760
<v Speaker 2>When I was little, I was a baby. If you

0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:15.200
<v Speaker 2>start talking about my toes. I'm getting up, I'm walking out. Uh,

0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:17.480
<v Speaker 2>my dad called me Et. I was born in eighty one,

0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 2>which is the year ET came out. But I was

0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:21.320
<v Speaker 2>this little, tiny baby. And you have a baby, and

0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:22.719
<v Speaker 2>you know how tiny they are. But I had these

0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:25.120
<v Speaker 2>really big eyes, like really really big eyes.

0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:25.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:26.640
<v Speaker 2>I had an excellent smile.

0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:28.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:29.800
<v Speaker 2>In high school, I was voted best smile.

0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:33.600
<v Speaker 1>I see it, and you let that smile shine bright.

0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:36.640
<v Speaker 2>If I'm not smiling, something is wrong and you should

0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.120
<v Speaker 2>ask me. I am genuinely a happy human being.

0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:51.680
<v Speaker 1>You talked about your time on the show and the

0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:54.240
<v Speaker 1>good things that came from it. We talked about how

0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:59.120
<v Speaker 1>pivotal it was in our growth as humans. But outside

0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:03.640
<v Speaker 1>of those friendships, tell us about the relationships that came

0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:05.679
<v Speaker 1>from the show, Like, what are some of the standout

0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:09.679
<v Speaker 1>things that have happened to you personally from this experience

0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:13.240
<v Speaker 1>on the Bachelor and Bachelorette that have made you the

0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:14.120
<v Speaker 1>person you are today.

0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:17.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't think you could put a weight on that,

0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:20.360
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean. I cherish the women from

0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.760
<v Speaker 2>the show, I really do. I tend to think that

0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:28.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm everyone's biggest cheerleader all the bachelorettes. We have like

0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.320
<v Speaker 2>one group text and I'm the first person if they're like, Hey,

0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:34.400
<v Speaker 2>I've got a book, will you promote it? Absolutely? Let

0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:36.440
<v Speaker 2>me cheer you on. You have something, you have a song,

0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:39.160
<v Speaker 2>you have a podcast, you need a guest, let me

0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:40.600
<v Speaker 2>let me do that for you.

0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:42.720
<v Speaker 1>It just sounds like you're talking about Kaylyn Brislo right now.

0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:50.720
<v Speaker 2>I love Kayln Bristow, all of the women, all the women, Andy, Desirae, Trista. Please,

0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:52.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm your biggest cheerleader. I would love to do anything

0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:56.000
<v Speaker 2>to support to support these women. I love them. I

0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:59.560
<v Speaker 2>think you just naturally gravitate to certain people over others,

0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.360
<v Speaker 2>Like that's just who I am. But I love every

0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.440
<v Speaker 2>one of them. And you know, the last few years

0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:07.640
<v Speaker 2>have not just been difficult for me, several women have

0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:11.280
<v Speaker 2>gone through breakups and divorce, and I made a point

0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.560
<v Speaker 2>to reach out to those women because I know how

0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:17.160
<v Speaker 2>isolating it felt for me in that time. And I

0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:20.520
<v Speaker 2>just thought, if it's just a hey, I'm thinking about you,

0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:25.400
<v Speaker 2>you are loved, you are more. If there's anything I

0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:29.600
<v Speaker 2>can do, let me know. I just want to genuinely

0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:33.000
<v Speaker 2>lift people up, and I just feel like that's a

0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:36.120
<v Speaker 2>good place to be in life. Trista I adore from

0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.560
<v Speaker 2>the second I was on the show until now, Like

0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:44.680
<v Speaker 2>she's just great. She's intentional, and I love that when

0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:49.200
<v Speaker 2>it comes to friendships, relationships, whatever you want to call them,

0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:52.800
<v Speaker 2>intentionality is important to me. And there have been many

0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:54.800
<v Speaker 2>times over the last few months that Trista has either

0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:57.280
<v Speaker 2>called me or texted me just to check on me.

0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:00.200
<v Speaker 2>And I needed that. I needed that in a time

0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:01.800
<v Speaker 2>in my life where I felt so isolated and I

0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:05.600
<v Speaker 2>felt so very alone. And then I've had the pleasure

0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:08.120
<v Speaker 2>of doing some really awesome things since the show. I

0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:09.400
<v Speaker 2>don't know if you know this, but I've been to

0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.600
<v Speaker 2>Iraq twice, in Afghanistan twice.

0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:14.240
<v Speaker 1>No, yeah, I did with the show.

0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:20.240
<v Speaker 2>No, so after I was the bachelorette and after I

0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:24.080
<v Speaker 2>broke up with the guy that I chose, which we'll

0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:27.080
<v Speaker 2>put that one to bed. Let's say I don't can't

0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:27.600
<v Speaker 2>say it out.

0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:30.120
<v Speaker 1>Loud, Oh okay, I can't. Baltimore, Valdimore.

0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I got to do four good will tours to

0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:36.800
<v Speaker 2>visit the troops when the Iraqi War was going on.

0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:41.760
<v Speaker 2>And like I come from a family of military people,

0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:43.720
<v Speaker 2>like my dad was in the Navy. Both of my

0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.880
<v Speaker 2>grandfathers were in World War Two. Like, I just have

0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:51.520
<v Speaker 2>a like a serious respect for anyone who supports our

0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.040
<v Speaker 2>country in that way. Like I literally walk free because

0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:56.800
<v Speaker 2>there are people who are willing to sacrifice for this right.

0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.720
<v Speaker 2>I went to Iraq twice and to afghanist Stand twice

0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:02.840
<v Speaker 2>as a good will tour to visit the troops during

0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.240
<v Speaker 2>the war, and it was hands down the coolest things

0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:08.160
<v Speaker 2>I've ever done in my life. Coolest thing I ever done.

0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:11.200
<v Speaker 2>I've shot a fifty cow. I'm like, really cool.

0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:11.720
<v Speaker 1>That's sweet.

0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:12.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm like really cool.

0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:16.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're you're cool. I mean, any guy listening right

0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:20.000
<v Speaker 1>now is going all right, I can see myself outside

0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:24.400
<v Speaker 1>of the marriage. What's the most serious relationship that you've had.

0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:30.040
<v Speaker 2>I actually dated a guy all throughout high school into

0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:32.440
<v Speaker 2>my twenties for five years before I ever went on

0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:34.720
<v Speaker 2>the Bachelor or the Bachelorette. I was in a five

0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:37.520
<v Speaker 2>year relationship and he was like my first love. Yeah,

0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:39.600
<v Speaker 2>he was my first love, and I thought I was

0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:41.640
<v Speaker 2>going to marry this guy. I thought we were going

0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.920
<v Speaker 2>to be high school sweethearts and live happily ever after.

0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:50.120
<v Speaker 2>And that was that like young love that you know,

0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:52.400
<v Speaker 2>you get the butterflies. Yeah, you know what I mean,

0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.000
<v Speaker 2>like that almost like sick love to where it's almost

0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:57.440
<v Speaker 2>like an obsession, you know. And his family was really

0:16:57.480 --> 0:16:58.720
<v Speaker 2>good to me in a time when I needed it.

0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:00.800
<v Speaker 2>My mom died when I was twelve, and I moved

0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.840
<v Speaker 2>to Georgia and didn't know anyone, and I had a

0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:07.240
<v Speaker 2>really terrible stepmother and my just at home life was

0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:10.119
<v Speaker 2>really awful. And he and his family were wonderful to

0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:11.840
<v Speaker 2>me in a time when I really needed it. And

0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:15.119
<v Speaker 2>I spent five wonder four years with him, you know,

0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:17.320
<v Speaker 2>the cheating aside and some of the other stuff, but

0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.800
<v Speaker 2>it was really great. It was young love. It was

0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:22.119
<v Speaker 2>really great. But that would be, yeah, outside of my

0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:24.640
<v Speaker 2>ex husband, that would be my longest relationship.

0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:26.320
<v Speaker 1>And maybe the most influential.

0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:29.280
<v Speaker 2>I would say that one was for sure. He was

0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:33.800
<v Speaker 2>the first guy. And because I was still dealing with

0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.520
<v Speaker 2>grief and loss from my mother, Like that's a great

0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:40.600
<v Speaker 2>loss to lose a mother, that you have a daughter,

0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:42.840
<v Speaker 2>You have a daughter. That is one of the most

0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:45.520
<v Speaker 2>important relationships that a child can have as a mother.

0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:48.280
<v Speaker 2>And I am grateful for twelve years I had a

0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:52.560
<v Speaker 2>really incredible mother. And not that I dated a lot

0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:54.280
<v Speaker 2>when I was younger. It was never very important to me.

0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:56.920
<v Speaker 2>But he was one of the very few people in

0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:59.520
<v Speaker 2>my life. And we've all know I've dated a lot.

0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:03.879
<v Speaker 2>I did it on television. So he genuinely wanted to

0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.120
<v Speaker 2>know me, and he genuinely wanted to know my family.

0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:07.760
<v Speaker 2>My mother. He wasn't scared to ask about her. And

0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:11.560
<v Speaker 2>I think there's something with like death and divorce that's

0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:15.119
<v Speaker 2>a form of death to me, where people are scared

0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:15.560
<v Speaker 2>to ask.

0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:16.120
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.280
<v Speaker 2>They don't want to make you sad. They don't want

0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:20.880
<v Speaker 2>you to have to talk about really difficult things, breakups.

0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:22.679
<v Speaker 2>They don't want you to have to talk about those things.

0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:27.560
<v Speaker 2>For me, it was like, don't you care enough to ask?

0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:30.520
<v Speaker 2>This woman made me who I am. This woman made

0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:35.119
<v Speaker 2>me feel I was a chubby child. I really liked McDonald's. Really,

0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:39.119
<v Speaker 2>my mother made me feel beautiful. I'm really grateful I

0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:42.879
<v Speaker 2>never grew up with like body image issues because my

0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:46.640
<v Speaker 2>mother made me feel beautiful. She never made me look

0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:49.040
<v Speaker 2>around a room and see that there were different sizes

0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:51.879
<v Speaker 2>or different colors or different shapes. We were taught to

0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:55.520
<v Speaker 2>love like that's how it was. And so for me,

0:18:57.560 --> 0:18:59.679
<v Speaker 2>I was so proud and so happy to discuss this

0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:01.679
<v Speaker 2>woman who made me who I am. I am strong

0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:04.199
<v Speaker 2>because of her, I am resilient because of her. I

0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:07.720
<v Speaker 2>know my worth because of her. And so for me,

0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:10.920
<v Speaker 2>I love talking about her. And he was one of

0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:13.920
<v Speaker 2>the very few people in my life in like partnership wise,

0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.000
<v Speaker 2>that was ever brave enough to talk about her, to

0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:18.040
<v Speaker 2>ask about her, to ask about my mother, who she was,

0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:20.760
<v Speaker 2>who she is, how she impacted me in my life.

0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:23.040
<v Speaker 2>You know, because people are scared. They don't want you

0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:24.720
<v Speaker 2>to be sad, they don't want you to have to grieve.

0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, I think, I mean, I also think

0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:33.600
<v Speaker 1>there's like a some investment that goes into dating before

0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:37.320
<v Speaker 1>you feel comfortable asking those questions. But you do have

0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:40.520
<v Speaker 1>a great story to tell, and a crazy story to tell,

0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:42.640
<v Speaker 1>and one that has a lot of twists and turns,

0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:45.520
<v Speaker 1>and a lot of it in the last few years

0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:48.920
<v Speaker 1>has become very public. And I'm sure you've learned a

0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:52.560
<v Speaker 1>lot about what now as you sit here, what a

0:19:52.600 --> 0:19:55.919
<v Speaker 1>partner could look like for you. And so if you

0:19:56.000 --> 0:20:00.000
<v Speaker 1>were to kind of describe some like three significant characters

0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:03.560
<v Speaker 1>oristics of now what you're looking for in a partner

0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:08.000
<v Speaker 1>a companion of dating, you know, a day even what

0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:08.600
<v Speaker 1>would those be.

0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:11.879
<v Speaker 2>I actually have a really hard time with this question.

0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:16.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know that I know exactly what I'm looking

0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:19.240
<v Speaker 2>for and what would stand out. But I just in

0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:24.040
<v Speaker 2>my heart feel at peace that like something great is

0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:27.560
<v Speaker 2>coming for me, and I feel really secure about that,

0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:31.920
<v Speaker 2>and I feel really okay with just like sitting in

0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:34.280
<v Speaker 2>a place and waiting for it.

0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:35.240
<v Speaker 1>Is there an excitement?

0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:37.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm so excited. I am. I am in a

0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:40.560
<v Speaker 2>very transformational place in my life and in your right,

0:20:41.480 --> 0:20:43.680
<v Speaker 2>it has been a really difficult time in my life.

0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:47.439
<v Speaker 2>I have experienced things in the last few months that

0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:50.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't ever want to go through ever again. That like,

0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 2>if that's like the low point of my life and

0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:54.439
<v Speaker 2>that's where I had to go to go up, then

0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:57.040
<v Speaker 2>let that be that. I don't ever want to do

0:20:57.119 --> 0:21:01.919
<v Speaker 2>that again. It's just not a good look, Ben. But

0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:05.080
<v Speaker 2>I do just feel like there is something great and

0:21:05.119 --> 0:21:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what it is. There is a great

0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:11.760
<v Speaker 2>job out there for me. There's a great man, and

0:21:11.800 --> 0:21:13.159
<v Speaker 2>I don't know that I can tell you what that

0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:15.560
<v Speaker 2>looks like. I'm hoping that when it happens, I'm like

0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:17.160
<v Speaker 2>blown away by it and I'm like, ah, yeah, this

0:21:17.200 --> 0:21:19.359
<v Speaker 2>is it, this is it, This is for me. But

0:21:19.440 --> 0:21:22.399
<v Speaker 2>I do feel like in my gut and in my

0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:25.960
<v Speaker 2>heart of hearts that like there's something, there's something great

0:21:26.400 --> 0:21:29.040
<v Speaker 2>coming for me, and I think it's coming soon, and

0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:32.880
<v Speaker 2>I just feel really excited about that. I know emotionally

0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:35.919
<v Speaker 2>how I want to feel in my next relationship, in

0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:39.000
<v Speaker 2>my next partnership, and I like, really really want to

0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:43.159
<v Speaker 2>feel very safe in a relationship. And I say that

0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:46.919
<v Speaker 2>for me in a partnership with a man. But I

0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:49.760
<v Speaker 2>think that's really important in all aspects of relationships in

0:21:49.800 --> 0:21:52.119
<v Speaker 2>your life. I think it's really important in friendship. I

0:21:52.119 --> 0:21:54.400
<v Speaker 2>think it's very important in family. I think it's very

0:21:54.400 --> 0:21:57.159
<v Speaker 2>important between a mother and their children. Right, I have

0:21:57.200 --> 0:21:59.520
<v Speaker 2>two children. I want them to feel safe coming to me.

0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:03.280
<v Speaker 2>That is like top on my list is I want

0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:05.600
<v Speaker 2>to feel safe because I think if I'm looking back

0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:07.920
<v Speaker 2>at times in my life, I don't have a lot

0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.560
<v Speaker 2>of moments been where I felt really safe in relationships.

0:22:11.200 --> 0:22:14.080
<v Speaker 2>I have a deep, deep fear of abandonment.

0:22:15.600 --> 0:22:19.280
<v Speaker 1>How are you like handling that you've.

0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:20.920
<v Speaker 2>Thousands of dollars for therapy? That was going to ask

0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:23.720
<v Speaker 2>it's funny, but it's not funny.

0:22:23.840 --> 0:22:27.480
<v Speaker 1>I've done that. Yeah, I mean because you can communicate

0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:29.199
<v Speaker 1>it and you can say it, which is obviously a

0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:34.040
<v Speaker 1>big step, but those things kind of hanging over you.

0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:35.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean it sounds like to me right now and

0:22:36.080 --> 0:22:38.960
<v Speaker 1>getting to talk to you a few times here and

0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:41.840
<v Speaker 1>a lot of aspects of your life, it's kind of

0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:46.240
<v Speaker 1>a reset and a blank slate like and I think

0:22:46.280 --> 0:22:49.040
<v Speaker 1>that's actually like for me listening to you, I get

0:22:49.080 --> 0:22:51.720
<v Speaker 1>excited about that because a lot of times in life,

0:22:51.760 --> 0:22:54.400
<v Speaker 1>as we get older and the more things get built up,

0:22:54.440 --> 0:22:57.720
<v Speaker 1>it's hard to reset. It takes a lot of things,

0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:01.520
<v Speaker 1>either being forced to reset or some really hard intentional

0:23:01.600 --> 0:23:05.760
<v Speaker 1>choices to reset you. I think, if if it's fair,

0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:07.800
<v Speaker 1>you kind of were forced into a reset in a

0:23:07.840 --> 0:23:08.359
<v Speaker 1>lot of ways.

0:23:08.480 --> 0:23:09.160
<v Speaker 2>It's a cleansing.

0:23:09.240 --> 0:23:09.880
<v Speaker 1>It's cleansing.

0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:13.720
<v Speaker 2>It's a cleansing. I don't when relationships come to an end.

0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:16.160
<v Speaker 2>I am not a person who goes back. I am

0:23:16.200 --> 0:23:19.080
<v Speaker 2>not one of those women that gives someone ten chances

0:23:19.119 --> 0:23:21.719
<v Speaker 2>to come back. Now, I will tell you that I

0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:26.000
<v Speaker 2>clung desperately to my marriage, but that was different. I

0:23:26.040 --> 0:23:30.120
<v Speaker 2>really valued my marriage. I valued my vows that I took.

0:23:30.200 --> 0:23:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I am a Christian like to me, that was super important.

0:23:32.880 --> 0:23:35.680
<v Speaker 2>I clung to my marriage on hands and knees. Sometimes

0:23:35.680 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 2>I begged, please don't do this, Please don't leave me.

0:23:38.800 --> 0:23:41.399
<v Speaker 2>I'll never do it again. I will never do it again.

0:23:41.640 --> 0:23:41.919
<v Speaker 1>Why not?

0:23:42.680 --> 0:23:45.840
<v Speaker 2>Because I shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have to beg

0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:49.520
<v Speaker 2>someone to love me, choose me. I shouldn't have to.

0:23:49.880 --> 0:23:54.119
<v Speaker 2>That's not real love. I think I clung to a

0:23:54.200 --> 0:23:57.800
<v Speaker 2>person and to a marriage that was never really mine.

0:23:57.920 --> 0:24:01.159
<v Speaker 2>I was never going to be number one, and frankly,

0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:01.879
<v Speaker 2>I would like to be.

0:24:02.400 --> 0:24:04.800
<v Speaker 1>That's our third characteristic before you're looking for in a

0:24:04.880 --> 0:24:07.439
<v Speaker 1>significant other. Yeah, you want to be number one? I

0:24:07.440 --> 0:24:11.040
<v Speaker 1>mean I think it's it's not a crazy ask. That

0:24:11.119 --> 0:24:13.680
<v Speaker 1>is it is a commitment my wife and I made

0:24:13.680 --> 0:24:15.359
<v Speaker 1>to each other. As many kids as we have, we

0:24:15.359 --> 0:24:16.800
<v Speaker 1>will always be each other's number one.

0:24:17.480 --> 0:24:20.160
<v Speaker 2>Don't confuse that I'm not looking for a pedestal. No,

0:24:20.560 --> 0:24:22.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm not a princess. I don't need to be treated

0:24:22.760 --> 0:24:24.480
<v Speaker 2>like a queen. I just want to be chosen.

0:24:24.640 --> 0:24:26.760
<v Speaker 1>You just want to be chosen. I think it's very fair.

0:24:27.400 --> 0:24:31.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, this is your scenario, is what I do.

0:24:31.840 --> 0:24:34.119
<v Speaker 1>And when I say this, it is exciting for me

0:24:35.160 --> 0:24:38.280
<v Speaker 1>because of this kind of like blank slate because of

0:24:38.320 --> 0:24:42.600
<v Speaker 1>your excitement towards whatever is happening in your future. Because

0:24:42.600 --> 0:24:44.760
<v Speaker 1>you look at your future and there's a smile on

0:24:44.800 --> 0:24:47.399
<v Speaker 1>your face about it, like something good is coming and

0:24:47.440 --> 0:24:49.320
<v Speaker 1>you feel it and you know it and you believe it.

0:24:50.000 --> 0:24:54.199
<v Speaker 1>That's exciting for me just to even be able to

0:24:54.200 --> 0:24:54.760
<v Speaker 1>witness it.

0:24:55.400 --> 0:24:57.680
<v Speaker 2>But you have to send me on a date first, Ben.

0:24:57.560 --> 0:25:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're going to get there. I uh. I have

0:25:05.400 --> 0:25:10.120
<v Speaker 1>some rapid fire questions about dating for you, and I'm

0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:14.520
<v Speaker 1>going to choose with you to ask even the most

0:25:14.520 --> 0:25:18.639
<v Speaker 1>intimate ones. You have all abilities to say. I'm not

0:25:18.720 --> 0:25:23.560
<v Speaker 1>answering that, but I'd love for you to try. Are

0:25:23.600 --> 0:25:25.600
<v Speaker 1>you willing to be the primary breadwinner?

0:25:27.240 --> 0:25:27.320
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:25:28.960 --> 0:25:32.080
<v Speaker 1>Uh? Do you? What do? If you could look at

0:25:32.080 --> 0:25:35.520
<v Speaker 1>your life, you have a partner in it, You're not

0:25:35.560 --> 0:25:39.159
<v Speaker 1>the primary breadwinner. What does your days look like?

0:25:41.160 --> 0:25:42.439
<v Speaker 2>It's such a loaded question.

0:25:42.680 --> 0:25:44.199
<v Speaker 1>Oh it's a good question. I think it was a

0:25:44.240 --> 0:25:45.040
<v Speaker 1>fantastic question.

0:25:45.080 --> 0:25:46.720
<v Speaker 2>It's a great question, but it's loaded.

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:48.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:25:48.359 --> 0:25:51.800
<v Speaker 2>I see. I don't see like a day to day

0:25:51.840 --> 0:25:53.639
<v Speaker 2>in great detail what I want to share with you,

0:25:53.720 --> 0:25:58.680
<v Speaker 2>But I see like equal. I see I see joy,

0:25:59.320 --> 0:26:03.240
<v Speaker 2>I see peace, I see fulfillment. I see a place

0:26:03.240 --> 0:26:07.359
<v Speaker 2>where I belong and where I want to belong. And yeah,

0:26:07.800 --> 0:26:11.719
<v Speaker 2>I see safety like I see that. I see that

0:26:11.760 --> 0:26:13.320
<v Speaker 2>in myself and in my future partnership.

0:26:13.320 --> 0:26:15.399
<v Speaker 1>I do such a big word for you. You've used it

0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:18.560
<v Speaker 1>a few times. Safety. Can you elaborate on what that

0:26:18.600 --> 0:26:19.520
<v Speaker 1>actually means?

0:26:20.160 --> 0:26:23.520
<v Speaker 2>I want to be safe, to be truly who I am.

0:26:25.080 --> 0:26:27.879
<v Speaker 2>I'm not dismissing the fact of like you spend time

0:26:28.040 --> 0:26:29.840
<v Speaker 2>you are married. You know this. I was married for

0:26:29.840 --> 0:26:32.000
<v Speaker 2>a very long time. You can't help it. We're all human.

0:26:32.160 --> 0:26:35.520
<v Speaker 2>Certain things start to get on your nerves. It just happens.

0:26:35.920 --> 0:26:40.280
<v Speaker 2>But in a place to be safely yourself good and bad, right,

0:26:40.320 --> 0:26:42.960
<v Speaker 2>we all have good days, we all have bad days. Ben,

0:26:43.000 --> 0:26:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I love myself, but I'm not telling you I'm easy.

0:26:45.160 --> 0:26:48.840
<v Speaker 2>I know that is not the case. I need someone

0:26:48.840 --> 0:26:50.760
<v Speaker 2>who can take me and hold me, do you know

0:26:50.840 --> 0:26:54.320
<v Speaker 2>what I mean? Almost like a baby, like when I'm

0:26:54.359 --> 0:26:57.200
<v Speaker 2>talking about this cleansing. I have just put a fifteen

0:26:57.240 --> 0:27:00.800
<v Speaker 2>year relationship to bed. I have grieved that every wave

0:27:01.119 --> 0:27:03.720
<v Speaker 2>of that. I've grieved that. I've been angry, I've and sad.

0:27:04.520 --> 0:27:09.480
<v Speaker 2>I've been happy, I've been excited. I've been sorely depressed

0:27:09.480 --> 0:27:13.399
<v Speaker 2>about it. I've grieved every wave of that. I just

0:27:13.440 --> 0:27:15.879
<v Speaker 2>think that there is room for like when you do that,

0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:19.080
<v Speaker 2>when there is this cleansing, you become new. Right and

0:27:19.200 --> 0:27:21.600
<v Speaker 2>right now, I need to be held. I need to

0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:24.560
<v Speaker 2>be coddled. And in order to feel safe, you need

0:27:24.600 --> 0:27:26.159
<v Speaker 2>someone who is willing to put in the time and

0:27:26.160 --> 0:27:28.639
<v Speaker 2>effort because I can be reactive and I'm trying to

0:27:28.760 --> 0:27:32.359
<v Speaker 2>learn how not to be that. And I think in

0:27:32.400 --> 0:27:35.720
<v Speaker 2>some of your deepest, safest relationships, you can be your

0:27:35.800 --> 0:27:39.399
<v Speaker 2>worst self. You should be safe to be able to

0:27:39.440 --> 0:27:42.000
<v Speaker 2>do so, but also accepted in those moments.

0:27:42.640 --> 0:27:55.360
<v Speaker 1>I hear that, I understand that you need like a

0:27:55.400 --> 0:27:56.080
<v Speaker 1>big hug.

0:27:57.600 --> 0:27:58.479
<v Speaker 2>I'm a good hugger too.

0:27:58.720 --> 0:28:02.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I need a big hug because I think you're great.

0:28:03.320 --> 0:28:06.320
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. But I hear what you're saying, and it's

0:28:06.480 --> 0:28:09.240
<v Speaker 1>just like, at my worst, am I still going to

0:28:09.240 --> 0:28:12.359
<v Speaker 1>be loved? I think? Is what like I'm hearing? Yeah,

0:28:12.400 --> 0:28:16.760
<v Speaker 1>Like at when I don't have it all together? Is

0:28:16.800 --> 0:28:19.359
<v Speaker 1>that going to make somebody run? And the cool part

0:28:19.520 --> 0:28:22.080
<v Speaker 1>is and I think what you're asking for is no,

0:28:22.160 --> 0:28:23.439
<v Speaker 1>they're just run closer to you.

0:28:23.680 --> 0:28:26.160
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, don't run further away.

0:28:26.400 --> 0:28:30.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this is an interesting question. I think and I

0:28:30.320 --> 0:28:34.040
<v Speaker 1>want to hear kind of. I mean, I'm trying to

0:28:34.040 --> 0:28:37.880
<v Speaker 1>be sensitive to obviously you're fifteen years of marriage and

0:28:38.200 --> 0:28:40.800
<v Speaker 1>to move on past that because you have and you're

0:28:40.840 --> 0:28:44.800
<v Speaker 1>excited about what's in front of you. But this question,

0:28:44.840 --> 0:28:48.840
<v Speaker 1>I think really will help me understand your situation better

0:28:48.840 --> 0:28:51.800
<v Speaker 1>and the listeners better. Would you date someone that your

0:28:51.840 --> 0:28:55.240
<v Speaker 1>family doesn't like? Like? How much input are you going

0:28:55.240 --> 0:28:58.080
<v Speaker 1>to allow them to have? And when I say family,

0:28:58.120 --> 0:29:00.040
<v Speaker 1>I even mean like close friends, because I know you

0:29:00.080 --> 0:29:01.080
<v Speaker 1>get older sometimes.

0:29:01.560 --> 0:29:04.120
<v Speaker 2>No, I think those are red flags, Ben, I think

0:29:04.120 --> 0:29:07.680
<v Speaker 2>those are red flags. And everyone goes into relationships with

0:29:08.320 --> 0:29:10.600
<v Speaker 2>what is it, rose colored glasses? You just do. You

0:29:10.640 --> 0:29:13.200
<v Speaker 2>don't always see the bad things right, And so we

0:29:13.400 --> 0:29:15.440
<v Speaker 2>are going to depend on the people around us who

0:29:15.520 --> 0:29:18.360
<v Speaker 2>know us the best. I have friends who have literally

0:29:18.360 --> 0:29:20.400
<v Speaker 2>put on boots and truck through the mud with me

0:29:20.480 --> 0:29:22.719
<v Speaker 2>over the last few years. Those people know me through

0:29:22.800 --> 0:29:24.760
<v Speaker 2>and through and they love me. And I feel very

0:29:24.800 --> 0:29:27.960
<v Speaker 2>safe with those people and those friendships. In those times

0:29:28.320 --> 0:29:31.360
<v Speaker 2>where I'm newly with someone and all I see is

0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:36.560
<v Speaker 2>their greatness, I'm going to trust those people to say, hey, Deanna,

0:29:36.600 --> 0:29:39.480
<v Speaker 2>make sure you're seeing these or that's a red flag.

0:29:39.960 --> 0:29:41.760
<v Speaker 2>Because I don't want to miss those again. I don't

0:29:41.800 --> 0:29:43.480
<v Speaker 2>want to wake up fifteen years from nound and be like.

0:29:43.440 --> 0:29:46.400
<v Speaker 1>Oops, do you give them space to speak that into you?

0:29:46.800 --> 0:29:49.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Oh yeah, Yeah. I have a couple of friends

0:29:49.480 --> 0:29:55.200
<v Speaker 2>in LA that I value their wise counsel, advice, the prayers,

0:29:55.280 --> 0:29:57.840
<v Speaker 2>every bit of it. Like I cling to their words.

0:29:58.000 --> 0:29:59.880
<v Speaker 2>They know me sometimes better than I know myself.

0:30:00.160 --> 0:30:04.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's my number one piece of advice for twenties.

0:30:04.640 --> 0:30:06.240
<v Speaker 1>I was just at a conference last week and spoke

0:30:06.240 --> 0:30:08.680
<v Speaker 1>to a bunch of twenty year olds twenty to twenty eight,

0:30:08.680 --> 0:30:10.160
<v Speaker 1>and I said, my number one piece of advice at

0:30:10.160 --> 0:30:13.240
<v Speaker 1>this point in my life is find one, two, three, four.

0:30:13.360 --> 0:30:16.240
<v Speaker 1>If you have ten awesome. But like a few friends

0:30:16.240 --> 0:30:20.239
<v Speaker 1>that you give this space to speak into you on

0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:24.200
<v Speaker 1>your successes and the things that are concerning them, and

0:30:24.280 --> 0:30:27.040
<v Speaker 1>listen to them. Not everybody. Don't listen to the masses,

0:30:27.520 --> 0:30:29.520
<v Speaker 1>but listen to the few that know you and love you.

0:30:30.240 --> 0:30:32.800
<v Speaker 2>And those are the people that can do that. Those

0:30:32.840 --> 0:30:34.560
<v Speaker 2>are the people that can do that in a very loving,

0:30:35.080 --> 0:30:38.080
<v Speaker 2>healthy way. When it is presented to you and done

0:30:38.120 --> 0:30:41.880
<v Speaker 2>in a very loving and healthy, healthy way, hopefully you

0:30:41.920 --> 0:30:42.959
<v Speaker 2>can be receptive to that.

0:30:43.240 --> 0:30:46.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, I think yeah. I think that's the starting point.

0:30:47.080 --> 0:30:50.400
<v Speaker 1>Is I'm willing to listen, and then I want to listen,

0:30:51.000 --> 0:30:52.680
<v Speaker 1>and I'm allowing you to speak into me, so I

0:30:52.720 --> 0:30:55.960
<v Speaker 1>will listen. You have to be receptive, absolutely. You don't

0:30:56.000 --> 0:30:58.520
<v Speaker 1>want to open that door up if it's just going

0:30:58.600 --> 0:31:04.480
<v Speaker 1>to cause controversy and confrontation. You want to open that

0:31:04.520 --> 0:31:07.200
<v Speaker 1>door up to listen. And it sounds like you are

0:31:07.200 --> 0:31:09.200
<v Speaker 1>willing and able and you have the people to do that,

0:31:09.680 --> 0:31:12.920
<v Speaker 1>but they're also going to play a huge voice in

0:31:12.960 --> 0:31:14.080
<v Speaker 1>this next chapter for you.

0:31:14.280 --> 0:31:16.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, do you know what I'll add? My children have

0:31:16.600 --> 0:31:20.560
<v Speaker 2>to like someone like I have two kids. That's not

0:31:20.680 --> 0:31:23.640
<v Speaker 2>anything that I'm hiding like that, I don't know. I

0:31:23.680 --> 0:31:27.040
<v Speaker 2>actually was chatting with Kelly yesterday on a separate podcast

0:31:27.040 --> 0:31:30.200
<v Speaker 2>and asking her advice. Her children are older than mine,

0:31:30.240 --> 0:31:33.560
<v Speaker 2>So when do you introduce someone to your kids. I

0:31:33.640 --> 0:31:36.040
<v Speaker 2>have not met anyone that I think is good enough

0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:38.320
<v Speaker 2>for my children. And I don't mean that as an

0:31:38.360 --> 0:31:40.040
<v Speaker 2>insult to someone else. I mean that is like, my

0:31:40.160 --> 0:31:43.000
<v Speaker 2>children are my world, They're my pride. I do not

0:31:43.120 --> 0:31:46.360
<v Speaker 2>want a revolving door around my children, a revolving door

0:31:46.400 --> 0:31:49.480
<v Speaker 2>of men. I don't want that for them. It would

0:31:49.520 --> 0:31:52.160
<v Speaker 2>have to be someone really great that I think is

0:31:52.360 --> 0:31:56.120
<v Speaker 2>worthy of being in my children's life because I value

0:31:56.160 --> 0:32:00.360
<v Speaker 2>them that much. It would also be concerning to me

0:32:01.840 --> 0:32:03.720
<v Speaker 2>because I have the greatest kids in the entire world.

0:32:04.000 --> 0:32:07.000
<v Speaker 2>If they came to me and said, hey, Joe Shmo

0:32:07.520 --> 0:32:09.760
<v Speaker 2>is really terrible, I don't like him, that's a red

0:32:09.760 --> 0:32:11.680
<v Speaker 2>flag to me. It's a red flag.

0:32:12.200 --> 0:32:14.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, But there's not like a timetable. It's not like, hey,

0:32:15.000 --> 0:32:17.000
<v Speaker 1>six months, it's for you. It's more of like a

0:32:17.600 --> 0:32:19.240
<v Speaker 1>we'll feel it out, well, I'll know.

0:32:19.920 --> 0:32:22.000
<v Speaker 2>I have this like in my head, I don't want

0:32:22.000 --> 0:32:23.920
<v Speaker 2>to introduce anyone to the kids before a year. I

0:32:24.040 --> 0:32:25.600
<v Speaker 2>just like have that in my head because I think

0:32:26.080 --> 0:32:28.440
<v Speaker 2>the same thing in relationships. I don't think you fully

0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:30.120
<v Speaker 2>get to know someone. There is a there's a place

0:32:30.160 --> 0:32:32.520
<v Speaker 2>of where it's just like you know lust for quite

0:32:32.520 --> 0:32:34.720
<v Speaker 2>some time. That's not real love. You don't you don't

0:32:34.760 --> 0:32:37.760
<v Speaker 2>really truly love someone. I don't feel like until like

0:32:37.800 --> 0:32:40.000
<v Speaker 2>seven or eight months, you just don't fully know someone

0:32:40.040 --> 0:32:43.200
<v Speaker 2>yet you haven't done enough real life. So I can't imagine,

0:32:43.200 --> 0:32:46.719
<v Speaker 2>like before a year, putting someone in my kid's life.

0:32:47.160 --> 0:32:49.960
<v Speaker 2>But then again, like I have faith. If someone comes

0:32:49.960 --> 0:32:51.520
<v Speaker 2>along and I'm like, this is it like that? I

0:32:51.560 --> 0:32:52.959
<v Speaker 2>just feel it in my heart of hearts, like this

0:32:53.000 --> 0:32:55.400
<v Speaker 2>is in my gut, then maybe I'll feel differently. But

0:32:55.520 --> 0:32:58.280
<v Speaker 2>no one has. No one has made me feel differently yet.

0:32:58.400 --> 0:33:01.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, let's shame that. Let's let's bring somebody in here

0:33:02.040 --> 0:33:05.160
<v Speaker 1>that's going to rock your world in all the best ways.

0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:08.720
<v Speaker 1>If at this point in your life we've talked previously

0:33:08.760 --> 0:33:11.920
<v Speaker 1>about kind of what you're interested in and keeping things,

0:33:12.000 --> 0:33:14.080
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like to me you want to be serious,

0:33:14.120 --> 0:33:16.160
<v Speaker 1>but you also want to keep things casual. You do

0:33:16.240 --> 0:33:18.040
<v Speaker 1>have your kids, and there's days with your kids that

0:33:18.080 --> 0:33:20.600
<v Speaker 1>you are dedicating and then you can date, you know,

0:33:20.680 --> 0:33:24.560
<v Speaker 1>when the kids aren't around, or you know, strategically, if

0:33:24.600 --> 0:33:28.080
<v Speaker 1>you went on a date and somebody said, this is awesome,

0:33:28.160 --> 0:33:30.520
<v Speaker 1>I want to go on another date with you. I

0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:32.800
<v Speaker 1>want to get to know you better. But I'm going

0:33:32.880 --> 0:33:36.080
<v Speaker 1>to be honest, I'm also dating three other people right now.

0:33:36.160 --> 0:33:36.960
<v Speaker 1>Is that okay with you?

0:33:37.640 --> 0:33:41.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's right, It's totally okay. Can I date three

0:33:41.760 --> 0:33:44.720
<v Speaker 2>other people at the same time? Yeah? Yeah. I am

0:33:44.720 --> 0:33:48.160
<v Speaker 2>not a serial dater. I'm more of a monogamous person.

0:33:48.200 --> 0:33:50.239
<v Speaker 2>I have a really hard time concentrating on more than

0:33:50.280 --> 0:33:53.280
<v Speaker 2>one person at a time like that. So so I

0:33:53.280 --> 0:33:55.760
<v Speaker 2>don't know that I would do it, but I think

0:33:55.760 --> 0:33:58.640
<v Speaker 2>that is absolutely appropriate for someone to be dating multiple

0:33:58.640 --> 0:34:00.880
<v Speaker 2>people at a time till they figure out what's important

0:34:01.080 --> 0:34:03.000
<v Speaker 2>and like, listen, I think I'm pretty great. If I'm

0:34:03.000 --> 0:34:04.160
<v Speaker 2>not in for them, please move on.

0:34:05.000 --> 0:34:06.560
<v Speaker 1>But it'd be so much cooler if somebody said down

0:34:06.560 --> 0:34:08.560
<v Speaker 1>on one day and they're like, hey, I was dating

0:34:08.560 --> 0:34:09.719
<v Speaker 1>these other people, but I don't want to.

0:34:09.680 --> 0:34:11.960
<v Speaker 2>Bet me away. You're it.

0:34:12.320 --> 0:34:15.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, God, I got to call them tomorrow because I'm done.

0:34:15.560 --> 0:34:17.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm cutting off all the other sisters. You're it.

0:34:17.760 --> 0:34:21.000
<v Speaker 1>That'd be awesome, not that I would even be considered, uh,

0:34:21.120 --> 0:34:22.480
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, I'm going to take my name out of

0:34:22.480 --> 0:34:27.080
<v Speaker 1>the pool here to keep things less awkward. The we

0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:29.040
<v Speaker 1>do that, we're going to kind of switch into more

0:34:29.040 --> 0:34:37.840
<v Speaker 1>of the physical elements of dating, uh, sex, looks uh

0:34:37.880 --> 0:34:39.360
<v Speaker 1>and also kind of what you're into.

0:34:39.640 --> 0:34:40.640
<v Speaker 2>You're just making it weird.

0:34:40.960 --> 0:34:43.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm making it very weird right now. It's not my fault.

0:34:44.160 --> 0:34:46.000
<v Speaker 1>Of all the bachelors since the beginning, who is the

0:34:46.040 --> 0:34:47.240
<v Speaker 1>most handsome in your opinion?

0:34:48.000 --> 0:34:50.360
<v Speaker 2>My bachelor Brad was pretty good looking.

0:34:50.440 --> 0:34:51.200
<v Speaker 1>He is a handsome.

0:34:51.239 --> 0:34:55.000
<v Speaker 2>He's a handsome stud muffin. Like he's really hot.

0:34:55.160 --> 0:34:57.319
<v Speaker 1>Like he's kind of only gotten hotter too.

0:34:57.440 --> 0:34:59.360
<v Speaker 2>He is he is. I tend to think that I

0:34:59.360 --> 0:35:01.839
<v Speaker 2>have had the hottest Bachelor of all time. I really do.

0:35:02.080 --> 0:35:05.120
<v Speaker 1>No, I mean, I just interviewed him and I was like, goodness, gracious, buddy.

0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:06.600
<v Speaker 2>Did you really Yeah, he's alive.

0:35:07.400 --> 0:35:08.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's great.

0:35:09.239 --> 0:35:10.680
<v Speaker 2>Well that's so great.

0:35:10.960 --> 0:35:12.240
<v Speaker 1>Got big muscles, he's.

0:35:12.320 --> 0:35:15.400
<v Speaker 2>Very big, beefy man. Yeah, I'm actually not into the beef.

0:35:15.960 --> 0:35:19.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't mind some some armmage. Yeah, but I'm just

0:35:19.880 --> 0:35:22.680
<v Speaker 2>not into the beef. Like I get my protein. But

0:35:22.760 --> 0:35:25.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm not like counting Graham's all day.

0:35:25.719 --> 0:35:26.720
<v Speaker 1>He'd keep you safe.

0:35:26.840 --> 0:35:29.279
<v Speaker 2>He would keep me safe, for sure. I think he

0:35:29.360 --> 0:35:30.400
<v Speaker 2>keeps someone safe.

0:35:30.440 --> 0:35:30.799
<v Speaker 1>He does.

0:35:31.000 --> 0:35:33.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she's also very attractive.

0:35:33.239 --> 0:35:37.120
<v Speaker 1>I think, Yeah, it makes sense. It makes absolutely who

0:35:37.200 --> 0:35:39.600
<v Speaker 1>had the greatest personality of all the Bachelor's.

0:35:39.120 --> 0:35:42.479
<v Speaker 2>Bob, listen you aside. I think you're really great.

0:35:42.760 --> 0:35:44.480
<v Speaker 1>I think you're really I can't even be talked about

0:35:44.480 --> 0:35:46.920
<v Speaker 1>in this Remember, I'm out, like you can't even consent.

0:35:46.920 --> 0:35:49.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm so glad. But let me say I've told someone today.

0:35:49.600 --> 0:35:52.640
<v Speaker 2>I was very pleased that I very few people come

0:35:52.640 --> 0:35:56.040
<v Speaker 2>onto this show and leave still being true to themselves.

0:35:57.360 --> 0:35:59.759
<v Speaker 2>It just happens that some people change, right, they become

0:35:59.760 --> 0:36:02.120
<v Speaker 2>more famous, had become less famous, they sell teeth, whitener.

0:36:02.200 --> 0:36:05.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, you know either job changes. I really

0:36:05.719 --> 0:36:07.960
<v Speaker 2>value and appreciate people who can come onto the show

0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:10.439
<v Speaker 2>and remain true to themselves and be just who they are.

0:36:10.480 --> 0:36:12.799
<v Speaker 2>And you've done that, and I really appreciate that about you.

0:36:12.880 --> 0:36:14.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, I appreciate that. Thanks for saying that.

0:36:14.840 --> 0:36:17.240
<v Speaker 2>Bob has a great personality. I would never date Bob,

0:36:17.760 --> 0:36:20.400
<v Speaker 2>and thankfully he's married too, But I like funny guys,

0:36:20.520 --> 0:36:21.280
<v Speaker 2>and Bob's funny.

0:36:21.400 --> 0:36:24.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Bob. Bob is one of like Bob and Andrew

0:36:25.000 --> 0:36:28.239
<v Speaker 1>Firestone are two people that when you're in a room

0:36:28.280 --> 0:36:31.239
<v Speaker 1>with them, you just know it's going to be better. Absolutely,

0:36:31.480 --> 0:36:33.600
<v Speaker 1>And it's not like a forced funny. It's just like

0:36:33.640 --> 0:36:36.000
<v Speaker 1>a joy that they're just great, Like, yeah, they just

0:36:36.080 --> 0:36:37.480
<v Speaker 1>good people, good.

0:36:37.280 --> 0:36:40.640
<v Speaker 2>People, They're great and neither one of them, neither one

0:36:40.640 --> 0:36:42.840
<v Speaker 2>of them has it gone to their heads. No, I

0:36:42.880 --> 0:36:45.000
<v Speaker 2>mean Bob's floats a little well.

0:36:44.880 --> 0:36:46.960
<v Speaker 1>No, Bob wants it to go to his head, like

0:36:47.120 --> 0:36:49.920
<v Speaker 1>Bob is looking for the like reason why he can

0:36:49.920 --> 0:36:53.280
<v Speaker 1>get a little bit, he wants it, it just never happens,

0:36:53.280 --> 0:36:54.920
<v Speaker 1>and so he just lives in this lane of like,

0:36:55.480 --> 0:36:58.160
<v Speaker 1>but I'm pretty great, right, guys. Look around the room.

0:36:58.200 --> 0:36:59.640
<v Speaker 1>Everybody goes, yes, Bob.

0:36:59.440 --> 0:36:59.959
<v Speaker 2>I'm the shine.

0:37:00.560 --> 0:37:01.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah he was.

0:37:01.440 --> 0:37:03.439
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you're cool, but like, I'm also a really

0:37:03.760 --> 0:37:06.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm really great, really great Bob is Bob is an

0:37:06.880 --> 0:37:09.000
<v Speaker 2>incredible human, one of a kind.

0:37:09.160 --> 0:37:11.000
<v Speaker 1>What is your ultimate fantasy date?

0:37:11.680 --> 0:37:12.680
<v Speaker 2>A baseball game?

0:37:13.120 --> 0:37:14.960
<v Speaker 1>What team?

0:37:15.320 --> 0:37:18.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm from Atlanta, so I'm a Braves fan, but like,

0:37:18.239 --> 0:37:20.600
<v Speaker 2>I'll suffer through a Dodgers game if you have to.

0:37:21.440 --> 0:37:23.359
<v Speaker 2>I just like baseball. It actually is on my list.

0:37:23.360 --> 0:37:25.439
<v Speaker 2>I would like to hit a stadium in every state.

0:37:25.520 --> 0:37:26.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's a great deal.

0:37:26.239 --> 0:37:26.879
<v Speaker 2>I have quite a few.

0:37:27.000 --> 0:37:30.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I have friends who have kids who have done

0:37:30.400 --> 0:37:33.919
<v Speaker 1>that with like their kids, they hit every stadium like once,

0:37:34.000 --> 0:37:38.439
<v Speaker 1>and it's so awesome. I'm a big Cubs fan, so, oh,

0:37:38.440 --> 0:37:41.160
<v Speaker 1>you're a cubby big Cubs fan. Go to many games?

0:37:41.200 --> 0:37:41.680
<v Speaker 2>Look at you?

0:37:42.000 --> 0:37:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I know, speaking of fantasy, would you sleep with somebody

0:37:47.080 --> 0:37:49.840
<v Speaker 1>on the first date? No, would you kiss him on

0:37:49.880 --> 0:37:50.359
<v Speaker 1>the first date?

0:37:50.520 --> 0:37:55.200
<v Speaker 2>Yes? Okay, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm a prude. Maybe I'm

0:37:55.239 --> 0:37:55.960
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a prude.

0:37:57.200 --> 0:37:58.480
<v Speaker 1>Your standards are your standards.

0:37:58.480 --> 0:38:00.360
<v Speaker 2>They are. So let me say two things. If I

0:38:00.440 --> 0:38:03.200
<v Speaker 2>thought that the first date was going to go somewhere

0:38:03.239 --> 0:38:05.600
<v Speaker 2>in that was longevity, No, I would not sleep with

0:38:05.640 --> 0:38:07.480
<v Speaker 2>them on the first date. If I was just trying

0:38:07.520 --> 0:38:08.800
<v Speaker 2>to get down and I found them super hot and

0:38:08.840 --> 0:38:11.960
<v Speaker 2>it was a means to an end, I would I

0:38:11.960 --> 0:38:14.400
<v Speaker 2>would not have done that in my twenties. But like, listen,

0:38:14.480 --> 0:38:16.879
<v Speaker 2>we know I've had sex at least twice, yeah, nine

0:38:16.920 --> 0:38:17.440
<v Speaker 2>and eleven.

0:38:17.600 --> 0:38:21.800
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. But like, so there's so you're not saying.

0:38:21.840 --> 0:38:24.719
<v Speaker 2>No, I am in a place in my life where

0:38:24.719 --> 0:38:27.120
<v Speaker 2>I would like a relationship to turn into something really great. Therefore,

0:38:27.160 --> 0:38:28.640
<v Speaker 2>I would not sleep on the first date. I would

0:38:28.680 --> 0:38:29.680
<v Speaker 2>not sleep with someone on the first date.

0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:32.160
<v Speaker 1>That makes sense. Okay, can you be in love with

0:38:32.200 --> 0:38:32.959
<v Speaker 1>two people at once?

0:38:33.600 --> 0:38:34.759
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I personally can.

0:38:35.440 --> 0:38:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So we when we're doing this, like it has

0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:42.160
<v Speaker 1>to be like singular focus, Like we're sending you on dates.

0:38:42.960 --> 0:38:45.919
<v Speaker 1>It's not like, I mean, you did the Bachelorette. Though.

0:38:46.040 --> 0:38:48.080
<v Speaker 2>I had a really hard time with the Bachelorette. Okay,

0:38:48.120 --> 0:38:49.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if it was easy for you. I

0:38:49.719 --> 0:38:54.240
<v Speaker 2>had a really hard time deciphering feelings between several people. Now,

0:38:55.160 --> 0:38:58.799
<v Speaker 2>given the scenario, you've done it. I didn't have deep

0:38:59.000 --> 0:39:02.600
<v Speaker 2>feelings for five or six people. I say this all

0:39:02.600 --> 0:39:04.040
<v Speaker 2>the time and have probably said it to you before.

0:39:04.080 --> 0:39:06.480
<v Speaker 2>It is like walking into a bar, looking around and

0:39:06.480 --> 0:39:09.920
<v Speaker 2>seeing the thirty men that are there, I could probably

0:39:09.960 --> 0:39:14.600
<v Speaker 2>pick out two that I would like to speak to. Yeah,

0:39:14.640 --> 0:39:16.000
<v Speaker 2>that's how the Bachelorette was for me.

0:39:16.280 --> 0:39:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:39:16.800 --> 0:39:18.960
<v Speaker 2>I saw twenty five great looking guys come out of

0:39:18.960 --> 0:39:23.600
<v Speaker 2>the limo, some more than others, and I picked out

0:39:23.920 --> 0:39:25.719
<v Speaker 2>literally two people that I knew were going to be

0:39:25.760 --> 0:39:28.719
<v Speaker 2>my final two in the end, and they were My

0:39:28.800 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 2>final four. Was the final four from day one till

0:39:32.239 --> 0:39:32.520
<v Speaker 2>the end.

0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:34.839
<v Speaker 1>It was the same guy, though, Like, did you want

0:39:34.840 --> 0:39:35.680
<v Speaker 1>to prove that you knew?

0:39:35.840 --> 0:39:38.960
<v Speaker 2>No, I just knew. Jesse. I knew I wanted to

0:39:38.960 --> 0:39:41.920
<v Speaker 2>go snowboarding. I thought it sounded fun. He was fun.

0:39:41.960 --> 0:39:45.239
<v Speaker 2>He was fun. Graham Bunn was smoking hot. He was

0:39:45.280 --> 0:39:47.400
<v Speaker 2>it for me like he was it, Like I was sold.

0:39:47.400 --> 0:39:49.319
<v Speaker 2>On day one. All I wanted to do was see

0:39:49.360 --> 0:39:54.400
<v Speaker 2>him naked. Yeah, it's terrible, it's terrible. Jason Mesnick, we

0:39:54.480 --> 0:40:00.520
<v Speaker 2>had really great chemistry. He's a very nice guy. I

0:40:00.560 --> 0:40:04.200
<v Speaker 2>love to dance. He loved to dance. I just I

0:40:04.320 --> 0:40:05.360
<v Speaker 2>just thought he was great.

0:40:05.640 --> 0:40:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:40:06.200 --> 0:40:08.720
<v Speaker 2>And then there was Jeremy Anderson, who was the smoking

0:40:08.760 --> 0:40:10.840
<v Speaker 2>hot lawyer, but he was just too pretty for me.

0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:12.759
<v Speaker 2>I remember sitting in a hot tub and he was

0:40:12.800 --> 0:40:15.680
<v Speaker 2>more concerned with flexing his abs for the camera than

0:40:15.680 --> 0:40:16.920
<v Speaker 2>he was with me. And I was like, this is

0:40:17.040 --> 0:40:19.200
<v Speaker 2>never gonna work. Yeah, this is never gonna work.

0:40:19.360 --> 0:40:20.680
<v Speaker 1>You had some good guys, though, I did.

0:40:20.719 --> 0:40:21.720
<v Speaker 2>I had some really great guys.

0:40:21.760 --> 0:40:26.080
<v Speaker 1>Who'd you choose Baltimore? Who was it?

0:40:26.680 --> 0:40:26.919
<v Speaker 2>Jesse?

0:40:27.320 --> 0:40:27.600
<v Speaker 1>Jesse?

0:40:27.719 --> 0:40:29.600
<v Speaker 2>I chose Jesse. That's who I chose.

0:40:29.640 --> 0:40:32.759
<v Speaker 1>It was. It happened, Yeah, Mesnick, want someone, you lose

0:40:32.800 --> 0:40:35.640
<v Speaker 1>some another? One of my favorite Bachelor of all time, Mesnick.

0:40:35.760 --> 0:40:38.000
<v Speaker 1>He's just an absolute just gem of a human.

0:40:38.080 --> 0:40:38.759
<v Speaker 2>Do you know who I love?

0:40:38.800 --> 0:40:38.960
<v Speaker 1>Moore?

0:40:39.560 --> 0:40:40.400
<v Speaker 2>Who Mollie?

0:40:40.560 --> 0:40:40.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:40:40.920 --> 0:40:43.040
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean she's really the shining star.

0:40:43.239 --> 0:40:45.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. They're just two good people. Yeah, there are another

0:40:45.680 --> 0:40:47.120
<v Speaker 1>two good people that when they get in the room

0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:49.640
<v Speaker 1>with you, you're like, I just like you both. And

0:40:49.680 --> 0:40:52.080
<v Speaker 1>it hasn't gone to their heads. No, it hasn't ever.

0:40:52.320 --> 0:40:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Nope, they're great.

0:40:53.200 --> 0:40:56.319
<v Speaker 1>They're great. As we sit here today, we're gonna ready

0:40:56.400 --> 0:40:59.960
<v Speaker 1>kick this thing off. What is your goal from famously available,

0:41:00.719 --> 0:41:03.240
<v Speaker 1>I'd like to find someone really great. That is genuinely

0:41:03.280 --> 0:41:06.040
<v Speaker 1>my goal. It's genuinely my goal. I really like to

0:41:06.080 --> 0:41:07.480
<v Speaker 1>do this. I think I told you I could talk

0:41:07.520 --> 0:41:09.279
<v Speaker 1>to a wall. This is a lot of fun for me.

0:41:10.160 --> 0:41:12.279
<v Speaker 2>But I really, I really would And I think I've

0:41:12.320 --> 0:41:16.280
<v Speaker 2>said this to you before I did the Bachelorette because

0:41:16.360 --> 0:41:19.080
<v Speaker 2>I think outside of the box when it comes to dating.

0:41:19.360 --> 0:41:23.160
<v Speaker 2>Please don't take me to dinner and drinks. We could

0:41:23.200 --> 0:41:26.600
<v Speaker 2>do that anytime. Like, let's just do something. I want

0:41:26.600 --> 0:41:28.000
<v Speaker 2>to go to pickle ball. I'm going to find me

0:41:28.040 --> 0:41:30.279
<v Speaker 2>a pickleball court in LA and I'm just gonna like

0:41:30.280 --> 0:41:32.200
<v Speaker 2>sit on the sidelines and just like wait for someone

0:41:32.200 --> 0:41:32.799
<v Speaker 2>to ask me out.

0:41:33.040 --> 0:41:34.600
<v Speaker 1>But somebody could take you to the Dodgers game.

0:41:34.640 --> 0:41:37.160
<v Speaker 2>I would love that. I would love that I took

0:41:37.200 --> 0:41:39.319
<v Speaker 2>a guy to a Dodger's game one time. Yeah, we

0:41:39.360 --> 0:41:40.160
<v Speaker 2>didn't go out again.

0:41:40.200 --> 0:41:41.680
<v Speaker 1>Would you kiss after a hot dog?

0:41:42.120 --> 0:41:44.160
<v Speaker 2>I really like hammers and hot dogs? But like on

0:41:44.239 --> 0:41:48.080
<v Speaker 2>Memorial Day? Yeah, I don't know. It depends on if

0:41:48.080 --> 0:41:50.080
<v Speaker 2>they had a beer or something to wash it down.

0:41:50.400 --> 0:41:52.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, a rough game.

0:41:52.920 --> 0:41:54.320
<v Speaker 2>There is a difference though, in the smell of a

0:41:54.360 --> 0:41:56.920
<v Speaker 2>hot dog and just like a straight up palatosis, like

0:41:56.920 --> 0:41:58.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm would take a hot dog smell over her, like

0:41:59.080 --> 0:41:59.960
<v Speaker 2>horrible breath.

0:42:00.160 --> 0:42:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, floss brush your teeth. This is gonna be a blast.

0:42:03.680 --> 0:42:05.440
<v Speaker 1>I cannot wait to get this thing kicked off with you.

0:42:05.719 --> 0:42:08.719
<v Speaker 1>The stories. I just you're excited for your future, so

0:42:08.800 --> 0:42:11.560
<v Speaker 1>am I. I am excited for the future because I

0:42:11.800 --> 0:42:16.719
<v Speaker 1>love good stories, and I think you're somebody who, just

0:42:17.040 --> 0:42:20.279
<v Speaker 1>like by God's gift to this world, creates a good

0:42:20.320 --> 0:42:23.879
<v Speaker 1>story all the time. And they're gonna be funny, they're

0:42:23.920 --> 0:42:27.360
<v Speaker 1>gonna be sweet, they're gonna be romantic, and I cannot

0:42:27.360 --> 0:42:29.400
<v Speaker 1>wait to be a part of it. It's great to

0:42:29.480 --> 0:42:30.120
<v Speaker 1>chat with you again.

0:42:30.280 --> 0:42:35.280
<v Speaker 2>Thanks