WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: My Husband Keeps Cheating. Is It Time to Dump Him?

0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:21.640
<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:24.159
<v Speaker 1>voicemail box board. Dear Cheekies, I'm here to give you

0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:27.120
<v Speaker 1>advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.240
<v Speaker 1>you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:32.120
<v Speaker 1>your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.600
<v Speaker 1>to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.

0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:40.559
<v Speaker 1>these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering

0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:42.720
<v Speaker 1>from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:45.720
<v Speaker 1>a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave

0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:46.879
<v Speaker 1>your question at the sound of the.

0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:53.320
<v Speaker 2>Beat, PaaS I will tell you my name, but it's

0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:56.400
<v Speaker 2>pretty embarrassing. I admire the woman that you are. I

0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:58.320
<v Speaker 2>follow you, I listen to you. My three little girls

0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:01.360
<v Speaker 2>know who Tiki through that it is well, Chicki's santist now,

0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:03.440
<v Speaker 2>but I know we just have ninety seconds so the

0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:06.120
<v Speaker 2>way see little rapidos, So hopefully you can give me

0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:09.600
<v Speaker 2>some advice. I've been married for sixteen years and basically

0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:12.839
<v Speaker 2>since I've gotten married, it's never been good. But there's

0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.640
<v Speaker 2>moments that are good, right, and he's always worn his

0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:18.959
<v Speaker 2>love to me. But Unfortunately, he has cheated on me

0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:22.160
<v Speaker 2>twice that I know of. He has an addictive behavior,

0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:24.560
<v Speaker 2>so he's cheated on me twice. The first time it

0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.880
<v Speaker 2>was a three year affair with this girl in Mexico,

0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:29.720
<v Speaker 2>and you know, he has businesses over there, he's well

0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:33.199
<v Speaker 2>off over there, and he's spent that provider in our family.

0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:35.760
<v Speaker 2>But this last time I caught him in a seven

0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:39.119
<v Speaker 2>year affair. He made a whole conversation and told her,

0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:41.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm gonna call you with my wife on

0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:43.320
<v Speaker 2>the phone, and you're gonna say this, and she did.

0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:46.680
<v Speaker 2>She said, oh, yeah, like it's over. You know, I'm

0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:51.000
<v Speaker 2>moving states. And they literally planned this whole charade and

0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:53.480
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't true, and I caught him. That's when we

0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:55.840
<v Speaker 2>went to court put the restraining order because she was

0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:58.000
<v Speaker 2>saying she was going to kill herself if he didn't

0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:00.800
<v Speaker 2>go back with her. Basically, this woman, now this last

0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.360
<v Speaker 2>time that I caught them, said that she doesn't have

0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:07.840
<v Speaker 2>anyone else, that she only has him. And if you

0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:09.560
<v Speaker 2>know she has all this debt, how is she going

0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:11.639
<v Speaker 2>to pay for it? That the least that he could do,

0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.800
<v Speaker 2>because she's been with him for seven years. The least

0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.880
<v Speaker 2>that he could do is pay an insemination for her

0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:21.200
<v Speaker 2>to have a baby, because apparently she's disillusional, thinking she

0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:24.720
<v Speaker 2>has mistress rights, and he la Mandela fret. I don't

0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:27.200
<v Speaker 2>know if it's true or false, but he calls, he

0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.359
<v Speaker 2>sobs on the phone. He swears up and down he's

0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:32.240
<v Speaker 2>going to change. He started all these things, and that's

0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:35.640
<v Speaker 2>very convincing. I don't know if you know about narcissistic behavior,

0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:37.600
<v Speaker 2>but I'm starting to think that this is what this is.

0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:41.320
<v Speaker 2>And I wanted to ask you, like, what should I do?

0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:44.080
<v Speaker 2>Should I just really let it go? Because I feel

0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:46.200
<v Speaker 2>like I cannot handle this anymore.

0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:49.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, I need to take any breath. I

0:02:49.520 --> 0:02:50.600
<v Speaker 3>need to take a deep breath.

0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:54.440
<v Speaker 1>You guys, I am floored.

0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:55.640
<v Speaker 3>I'm unfounded.

0:02:55.840 --> 0:03:00.240
<v Speaker 1>I I okay, I think you know the answer you're

0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.480
<v Speaker 1>asking me because you know and you just want confirmation.

0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:04.600
<v Speaker 1>And I'm gonna be your big sister or your little

0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:06.919
<v Speaker 1>sister or whatever it is that you need right now.

0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:13.639
<v Speaker 1>But you are dealing with a narcissist. I'm sorry to

0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:17.120
<v Speaker 1>break it to you, but it does not seem that

0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:20.680
<v Speaker 1>he will change. It's been sixteen years he's had not

0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:24.280
<v Speaker 1>only let's just say it's a one night stand and

0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:29.280
<v Speaker 1>you catch him and dude full on relationships. There has

0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:32.520
<v Speaker 1>been an emotional connection there. One of three years, one

0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:36.080
<v Speaker 1>of seven years. Now this woman, first of all, First

0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:42.040
<v Speaker 1>of all, I'm sorry, but this last one, the seven years.

0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.160
<v Speaker 3>Like what are you hell?

0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:44.760
<v Speaker 2>What?

0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:48.280
<v Speaker 3>Where does he find these women?

0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:48.840
<v Speaker 2>First?

0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.560
<v Speaker 1>Like that are willing to just be in a secretive

0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:57.120
<v Speaker 1>relationship with a married man, and like she has no

0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:01.120
<v Speaker 1>self worth? Anyways, we're not talking about her. She needs help.

0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:04.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be mean. I do

0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:09.760
<v Speaker 1>feel that people can change. But if he did it again, babe,

0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:12.160
<v Speaker 1>and then did it for seven years, and how did

0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.800
<v Speaker 1>this woman lie and she wants a baby? Like how

0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:16.720
<v Speaker 1>do we know that he doesn't have babies out there

0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:19.960
<v Speaker 1>in the world. First of all, I think you need

0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:22.160
<v Speaker 1>to grab your shit and you need to leave them.

0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:24.560
<v Speaker 1>That's what I really think you need to do. Absolutely,

0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:26.560
<v Speaker 1>I would tell this to my sister, I would tell

0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:28.800
<v Speaker 1>this to my best friend. I would tell this to

0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:29.560
<v Speaker 1>any woman.

0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:32.440
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:35.719
<v Speaker 1>I hope I'm never in that situation. I really hope

0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:39.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm never in that situation. Because I can't even say

0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:41.440
<v Speaker 1>what I would do on this podcast because it just

0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:43.600
<v Speaker 1>it wouldn't be right. It'd probably be in jail. Let's

0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:47.200
<v Speaker 1>just leave it there. But I think you need to

0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:48.719
<v Speaker 1>grab your shit, and I think you need to love

0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:52.880
<v Speaker 1>yourself and you need to divorce him. And you've been

0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:54.960
<v Speaker 1>with him long enough. I don't think you guys have

0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:58.320
<v Speaker 1>a prenup. I think you need to ask for If

0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:00.160
<v Speaker 1>you guys have kids, you need your chouse support, your

0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.200
<v Speaker 1>spousal support. You need to get away from this man

0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:03.240
<v Speaker 1>because he's going to do it again.

0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:04.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry.

0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.880
<v Speaker 1>Unless he's going to therapy and life coaching and has

0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.360
<v Speaker 1>someone that's going to keep him accountable. If he's doing

0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:13.480
<v Speaker 1>all of those things and you see a drastic change,

0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:17.919
<v Speaker 1>then okay. But I think it's like he's just telling

0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:19.800
<v Speaker 1>you what you want to hear, and he's going to

0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:23.640
<v Speaker 1>always live another life because he can, because he has

0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:25.760
<v Speaker 1>the money to do so, and because he's finding these

0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:30.039
<v Speaker 1>women that don't value themselves enough to have a man

0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:31.760
<v Speaker 1>that's just theirs.

0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:34.840
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, that's that's what I think.

0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:38.200
<v Speaker 1>And I'm sorry, but I think someone needs to tell

0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:40.600
<v Speaker 1>you straight up because you are in a very bad

0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:44.359
<v Speaker 1>situation and you're going to if you stay with this person,

0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:47.920
<v Speaker 1>you're going to maybe have another child, which babies are

0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:51.280
<v Speaker 1>always a blessing, but your life is going to just

0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:54.400
<v Speaker 1>go right by you and you're going to regret not

0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:57.480
<v Speaker 1>doing it sooner. So I think you just need to

0:05:57.520 --> 0:06:00.159
<v Speaker 1>find the courage and pray to God to give you

0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:02.400
<v Speaker 1>the courage and the wisdom to do what you gotta do.

0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:04.560
<v Speaker 1>But you need to love yourself and give yourself your

0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:09.919
<v Speaker 1>place because he's never gonna respect you. And I know

0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:13.200
<v Speaker 1>that sounds harsh, but that is the truth. I hope

0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:16.680
<v Speaker 1>things get better and hopefully you come back and update us,

0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:19.240
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I hope that you take it to

0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:21.560
<v Speaker 1>heart what I'm telling you, because I promise you it's

0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:24.040
<v Speaker 1>I have your best interest at heart. I don't know you,

0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:25.919
<v Speaker 1>but I want the best for you as a woman

0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:29.320
<v Speaker 1>because you deserve it. But you need to know that

0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:38.480
<v Speaker 1>you deserve it. I'm gonna leave it with that, guys. Okay, guys,

0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:41.279
<v Speaker 1>we're gonna move on to our second listener, who is

0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:45.880
<v Speaker 1>also anonymous. Would you ever have someone carry your baby

0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:46.840
<v Speaker 1>a surrogant?

0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:48.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:52.640
<v Speaker 1>Hi, straight to the point. I like that, funny enough.

0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:56.160
<v Speaker 1>There is a rumor going around right now that I

0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:59.960
<v Speaker 1>am pregnant, that we are pregnant with the surrogate. That is,

0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:03.560
<v Speaker 1>it's not true. It's completely false. I would not be

0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:06.120
<v Speaker 1>opposed to it. I would be open to it if

0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:11.080
<v Speaker 1>that was the only option I had with the miscarriage

0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:13.240
<v Speaker 1>that I just had. I feel like my body is

0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:17.040
<v Speaker 1>telling me that I can get pregnant. I'm gonna see

0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:19.760
<v Speaker 1>my doctor soon and figure that out. But I wouldn't

0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:21.680
<v Speaker 1>be opposed to it. I mean, Emilio and I have

0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:24.480
<v Speaker 1>talked about it, and he is open to it. He

0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:27.200
<v Speaker 1>just says, I want us to try first and if not,

0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:31.480
<v Speaker 1>then let's do a curguit. So that is that.

0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:34.360
<v Speaker 3>Is my truth. So yeah, we'll see.

0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.240
<v Speaker 1>I will keep you updated. Thank you so much for

0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:48.840
<v Speaker 1>your question. Alrighty guys. The last anonymous question, let's see,

0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:51.720
<v Speaker 1>did you ever experience bullying when you were younger in

0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:52.560
<v Speaker 1>your childhood?

0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:59.840
<v Speaker 3>Oh? Good question. I did. I did experience bullying.

0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:06.920
<v Speaker 1>My earliest memory of bullying was in maybe the fifth grade.

0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:09.360
<v Speaker 1>I think that's when it started where I really remembered.

0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:13.000
<v Speaker 1>I was gaining weight, I was going through something that

0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:16.560
<v Speaker 1>no one knew about, which was my sexual abuse. My

0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:18.920
<v Speaker 1>mom wasn't doing well financially and she was like the

0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:22.000
<v Speaker 1>sole provider. So I would have to go to school

0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:25.080
<v Speaker 1>wearing her clothes. And you know, my mom was barely

0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:27.080
<v Speaker 1>learning how to like wash and stuff. She was a

0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:29.800
<v Speaker 1>young mom, so a lot of the clothes had like

0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:31.760
<v Speaker 1>bleach stains on them, and I had to wear them,

0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.680
<v Speaker 1>and like, it was a rough time, and I would

0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:37.439
<v Speaker 1>get bullied for my weight and for being poor and

0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:41.520
<v Speaker 1>all this stuff. So yes, and now even as an adult,

0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:46.240
<v Speaker 1>my weight has always been a topic of conversation. So

0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:49.840
<v Speaker 1>I've been bullied for that. So yeah, it's something that's

0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:51.720
<v Speaker 1>very real in my life, and which is why I'm

0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.600
<v Speaker 1>a huge advocate for it, because especially now in this

0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:57.640
<v Speaker 1>social media world that we live in, people just feel

0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:02.600
<v Speaker 1>so comfortable and so brave talk shit behind a computer

0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:05.560
<v Speaker 1>or a telephone. And that's why I'm writing a book, guys,

0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:09.040
<v Speaker 1>a children's book about bullying. It's called The Girl who

0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:12.640
<v Speaker 1>Sings to Bees, and it's regarding that bullying because I

0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:14.600
<v Speaker 1>think that's where it starts. It starts in the home,

0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:17.880
<v Speaker 1>of course, but also speaking to these children when they're

0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:23.000
<v Speaker 1>little and showing them that it's not okay, because I

0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:25.800
<v Speaker 1>feel like the people that bully our children that have

0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:29.480
<v Speaker 1>I feel like not a good example at home. And

0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:32.960
<v Speaker 1>there are things going on in their homes. That's my

0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:38.640
<v Speaker 1>personal opinion. But yeah, to answer your question, yes, unfortunately, yes,

0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:41.600
<v Speaker 1>but thank God now I can talk about it and

0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:44.200
<v Speaker 1>help others. So anyways, thank you all for your questions.

0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:49.199
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate it. I'm really listener. Number one, I am

0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:50.800
<v Speaker 1>really praying for you and praying for your heart and

0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:54.079
<v Speaker 1>praying for strength for you. I'm sending you positive energy,

0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:58.520
<v Speaker 1>healing energy. May God give you the courage and the wisdom,

0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.440
<v Speaker 1>that security, and that confidence that you need as a

0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:04.160
<v Speaker 1>woman to walk away from this relationship that is not

0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.280
<v Speaker 1>serving your highest good. And so it is and so

0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:06.760
<v Speaker 1>it will be.

0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:07.280
<v Speaker 3>Amen.

0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:09.960
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, guys, I just felt they need to pray for her. You, guys,

0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:11.920
<v Speaker 1>thank you for listening. If you have a question, it

0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:14.599
<v Speaker 1>could be about literally anything my personal life. Like you

0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:17.040
<v Speaker 1>saw here, they're asking me different questions. I'm open to

0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:19.800
<v Speaker 1>answering any type of question. There's nothing that scares me,

0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:24.040
<v Speaker 1>so please feel free to leave your question at speakpipe

0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:27.560
<v Speaker 1>dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill podcast. I'll catch you

0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.040
<v Speaker 1>on the next episode of Your Cheeky's ros kiro Mucho,

0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:38.679
<v Speaker 1>peace and love. This is a production of iHeartRadio and

0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:42.680
<v Speaker 1>the Micudura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael

0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:45.880
<v Speaker 1>Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i

0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:49.400
<v Speaker 1>q u i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:52.840
<v Speaker 1>the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

0:10:52.880 --> 0:11:01.920
<v Speaker 1>your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube