WEBVTT - Time to Stop Romanticizing The Struggling Black Woman (BA QA) 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:17.480 Aba fam. 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:21.680 It's time for the b a qa a the v 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:25.480 a qa which say the v a q a with manda, 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:30.120 the b a q a the b a qa a 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:32.120 ba fam. 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:36.440 How are y'all doing? Can we just take a quick 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:41.680 wo saw? I really need a woo saw. I ain't 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:45.000 gonna lie to y'all. It's Thursday night, it's ten o'clock. 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:48.240 I just got back from the city. I wasn't planning 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:50.880 to go into Manhattan. I live about forty five minutes. 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:53.320 That's a damn lie. See. This is what happens when 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:55.320 you leave New York and you try to kid yourself 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:57.760 into thinking that you live closer than you do door 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:01.840 to door. Commute to Grant's Central is forty minutes. But 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:05.280 then I had to carry my booty all the way 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:09.160 down to Brooklyn Bridge City Hall because my husband works 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:13.520 for the government and he is one of millions of 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:19.880 federal workers who were impacted by Lord Voldemort reincarnated in 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:23.760 his executive orders. And for those of y'all listen, I 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:26.280 forgive you in advance if you've already done forgot what 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:29.760 half of the or even a fraction of what these 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:34.640 executive orders that have come down. But my husband. In particular, 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:39.200 he was in the very final stage of getting an 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:42.600 offer from a federal agency that would have not only 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:46.800 been a great career opportunity for him, but it would 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:50.160 have allowed him to work closer to home, to where 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:52.640 we live. And right now, he commutes an hour and 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:56.760 a half minimum on bad you know, bad train days, 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:00.760 We're talking like two hours each way, and he is tie. 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:04.840 I heard this man has been doing this. And he 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:08.120 comes home he does not you know, he's not trying 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:10.560 to go to after office happy hours. He is trying 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.840 to get home. He leaves early whenever he can, and 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.400 he still feels like he's missing too much. And obviously, 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:18.760 just y'all know if you commute, if your commute is 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:22.960 anything like that, y'all know how just tiring and how 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:25.640 it can wear you down. And we were both so 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:31.359 excited for him to accept this new position. He got 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:34.560 an email when he returned to work on Tuesday, like 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.920 we all did, he got an email saying, your offer 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:42.040 has been rescinded due to the recent executive order that 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:47.519 mandated an immediate temporary hiring freeze across all federal agencies 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:51.480 except for, of course, you know, your law enforcement, Border 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.519 Control you know, the essential people that are going to 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:59.560 come hunt down migrants and take them back to wherever 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:03.240 they came from. I guess so he was. He's a 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:07.840 very like he's a very, he's well, he's just a 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:11.400 good person to his core. But he's also quiet, and 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:13.800 he's a cancer. I'm a leo. So you make up 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:16.240 your own mind about how that works. He's he feels 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.960 things deeply, and he doesn't let things really get to 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.400 him typically, And I could tell that this one really hurt. 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.680 I mean it was it was just the worst possible timing. 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:29.080 And he had already told all of his work colleagues, 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:31.440 and he and another young woman that he works with 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.400 as well were applying to the same agency. They were 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:37.000 each in the same stage, the final stage of hiring, 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:39.280 like background check, like go pee in a cup kind 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:41.480 of stuff. They were just waiting on their start date, 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:45.160 and they both got let down, and his colleagues offered 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:47.400 to take them out for a drink and just have 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:49.920 a good old pity party. And it's really you feel 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:53.640 kind of like powerless. I mean, there's there's just nothing 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:55.960 I can do to make it better for him. But 0:03:56.280 --> 0:03:59.880 I did got a sitter to watch the kids, and 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:03.880 I went all the way down to Lower Manhattan to 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:07.440 just be there for him and to share space with 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:09.600 him and his colleagues. And it was really nice, actually, 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:13.520 but I dropped everything to do that, and that includes 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:18.960 doing my normal prep for the BAQA episode. So I'm 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:23.000 here now and I'm never sad to show up to 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.000 the mic for y'all. Y'all know that you know I 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:27.000 love y'all. Ba Fam. I'm going to pick a couple 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:30.080 of questions from the mail bag and thank y'all to 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:33.080 those who have been sending in your questions. It's never 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.320 too late to submit questions to the show. You can 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:38.640 hit us up at Brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com, 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.000 and I suggest that if you're writing a really long one, 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:45.159 email is better, and then if you have a short question, 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:49.520 hit us up on Instagram at Brand Ambition Podcast. I'm 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:53.520 at Mandy Money, but the ba in box is regularly monitored. Okay. 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:56.760 I just want to acknowledge that there are human beings 0:04:56.920 --> 0:05:01.360 whose lives are being impacted and so many ways by 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:05.279 the policies that are being put in place, so many frameworks, 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:09.040 so many regulatory agencies that are here to look out 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:12.200 for the people who don't have billions of dollars in 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:15.360 private jets and a dick. The rest of us who 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:19.560 are not, you know, the top point zero zero one 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:22.360 percent of America, we kind of need someone looking out 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:25.880 for us. And that's literally what these regulatory bodies and 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:30.280 laws were created for the Constitution itself. And to see 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:34.680 it just being taken apart brick by brick, not even 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:39.440 like brick by brick, more like just detonated, like demolished 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:43.080 right before our eyes, it's it's shocking. I want to 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:46.480 offer support and just yeah, hold space for those who 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:50.360 have been impacted, For those of y'all whose family members 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:55.440 are keeping the curtains drawn and not opening the door 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:57.800 to anyone that they're not one hundred percent sure who 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:00.320 it is. To people who are too afraid to now 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.920 go to church or to school because they're afraid they're 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:06.200 going to be scooped up in a van and forced 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:08.520 to return to a country that they haven't called home 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:13.240 for decades, for years, maybe even ever. That I'm with you, 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.200 the Brand Ambition family is with you as well, to 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:20.560 the LGBTQ plus community. My goodness, my brother in law 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:24.400 who's a transman. When you finally embrace the identity that 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:27.800 you choose to have and the way that you feel, 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:32.680 and the really just getting to a place where you 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.120 have this new chapter, you're starting this new journey and 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:38.280 you feel more like yourself than you have for decades. 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:42.120 And you watch this person embrace who they are and 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:46.400 the excitement, the joy, the relief that they feel, and 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:50.279 to know that now they're in a place where it 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:54.440 was already unsafe for this community, and now it's even 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:57.479 less safe. And I just I link arms with the 0:06:57.560 --> 0:07:01.400 LGBTQ plus community, the queer commun unity. I got, y'all. 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.839 We have to have each other's backs. We have to support, 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:07.360 protect each other, look out for one another more than 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:11.920 ever at this moment. All right, you know what, speaking 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:14.520 of wusaws, I'm gonna take a little break and we'll 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.920 be right back to take some of y'all's questions. Be 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:24.000 right back, ba fam, All right, ba fam? Who breathing 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:27.800 is so healing? I don't know if the whole meditation 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:30.680 movement made it to y'all during the pandemic like it 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:33.240 did just about everybody else. But you don't have to 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:35.679 do like a proper meditation, just like putting your feet 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:42.280 on the ground, putting your hand on your chest, just 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:49.520 breathing in, breathing out. It's so it's so silly and 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:53.320 so true. It just really helps ground you helps me 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.960 feel grounded and feel centered and be ready to pour 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:00.280 into y'all. So let go enough of that. I want 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:03.520 to take a question from a listener who submitted this 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:08.720 I think on itg Yeah, So Jen, Jen reached out said, Hello, 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:11.600 I love your podcast. I was just listening to one 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:14.240 about how you were saying how expensive everything is. I 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:18.120 didn't hear you mention over employment. I know several people 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.960 who have two to four full time jobs working from 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:24.560 home just to live. It's so sad, but it's also 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:28.119 getting people out of debt and actually giving them money 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:31.120 to save. Have you discussed this on the podcast. What 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:34.520 do you think about this? Jen? Okay? Two to four 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:38.760 full time jobs? God, I mean, listen, this is one 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:41.880 of those situations where you can't trust the data because 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:44.960 not everybody is going to tell the truth about holding 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:47.400 down two to four full time jobs. Like and by 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:49.520 the way, Jen, I need to meet whoever you know 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.920 that's working full full four full time jobs somehow from home, 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:57.760 like I can hardly I can hardly imagine like how 0:08:57.800 --> 0:08:59.600 I could add one more thing to my plate and 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:02.440 I have to businesses that I'm running and being a 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:04.840 mom and being a human like I just it seems 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:09.760 impossible and really unhealthy. But to your point, over employment 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:14.320 and working multiple jobs just to get by is a 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:18.520 systemic problem in the US, and surprise, surprise, the research 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:23.199 shows who is it really a systemic problem for black women? 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:27.920 We are the most likely people in America to be 0:09:28.000 --> 0:09:32.440 working more than one job in order to cover our 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:38.440 minimum expenses. Nearly ten percent of Black women hold multiple jobs. Okay, 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:40.960 let that sink in for a second. That's twice as 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:45.840 much as Hispanic women. It's more way more than men 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:49.600 in general. It's more than women in general. And it's 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:53.560 a problem. It's not okay now on its face, Like, 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:57.199 of course, black women like we are incredible. We can 0:09:57.280 --> 0:09:59.880 achieve anything we put our minds to. We can make 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.160 magic happen, we can do what we need to do 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:05.240 for our families. But at what cost? And is our 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:08.080 suffering is the fact that we have to work so 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:11.520 much harder just to make do. Have we gotten too 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:13.800 comfortable with that? And so I'm glad Jen that you 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:16.600 gave me an opportunity to talk on this, because I 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:18.600 don't think we should be comfortable with it. I don't 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:22.280 think that we need to be taking for granted that 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:25.400 Black women like we have an unlimited supply of energy 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:29.679 and time to spend our lives in these ways, just 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:32.959 working and working and working just to get by. Now, 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:35.280 it's one thing if you've got to side hustle and 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:37.400 you're doing that on the side, and you're doing it 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:39.960 to raise extra money and you know, reach some goals 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:43.000 that you really want to reach, like to increase your investing, 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.440 and you're in saving, and that's fine, And honestly I 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:49.120 support anyone who wants to have a side hustle on 0:10:49.160 --> 0:10:51.520 top of their regular nine to five. I think that 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:54.720 that creates financial resilience, especially if it helps you save 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:56.640 and put more aside for a rainy day. But it 0:10:56.679 --> 0:11:00.200 also makes you less beholden to your one singular employe, 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.360 so that if they were to let you go, which 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:07.200 is unfortunately still happening and will continue to happen because capitalism, 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:10.600 that you can take care of yourself, that you can 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:13.679 support your family and get by when you have that 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:16.559 financial resilience because you have been stacking your coins and 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:20.000 working on the side. However, we got to break our 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:23.920 love affair with seeing black women struggle. We have to 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.520 break the love affair with seeing black women struggle. People 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.600 are way too comfortable with it, way too comfortable with it, 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:31.880 to the point where I don't know if you guys 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.000 have ever experienced this, but when you're talking to someone 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:35.520 for the first time, and like, let's say that they're 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:38.200 a white man, when you're talking about your upbringing, and 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.600 they make assumptions about where you come from or what 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.080 kind of upbringing you had, and they try to identify 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:45.319 with you based on that. It's like, oh, yeah, well, 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:47.760 you know, I grew up with a single mom and 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:50.080 we were super poor, and like, yeah, we know. And 0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:52.320 it's just almost like, so do you think that's how 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:54.360 I grew up just because I'm a black woman. This 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:57.840 isn't just about hustle culture. We're talking about systemic inequities 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:02.200 that are demanding that we work harder and work harder 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:05.760 for less pay, because even though we're working more jobs, 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.040 we're still not getting paid equitably. And in fact, that's 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:10.040 one of the biggest reasons why we have to work 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:13.240 so many freaking jobs. Okay, So, like why aren't we 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:17.920 raising wages for these professions that over index in hiring 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:24.200 women of color, like undervalued professions like caregiving, home health care, aids, 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:29.640 retail work, restaurant work, work in the travel industry, hospitality industry. 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:34.680 Let's stop devaluing those jobs just because you're more likely 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:37.000 to see women of color working them. We need to 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:41.920 increase workplace flexibility, so we need to have policies that 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:45.839 make sense for a paid family leave, for affordable childcare 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:49.320 that can ease the burden of any woman out there 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:53.200 who is juggling caregiving and can't make ends meet and 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:55.840 can't figure out how to do it all at once. Like, 0:12:55.960 --> 0:13:00.360 let's actually have some flexibility in our workplaces. Let's give paid, sickly, 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:03.320 paid family leave, all these benefits that would make it 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:06.120 so much easier and take the pressure off of us 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.920 to work these multiple jobs so that we can have flexibility. 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.000 We all know these are issues. We all know that 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.000 we know, Like, I don't got to tell y'all that 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.400 this is impacting us because we see it every day. 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:18.720 Just like Eugen you see your friends working two to 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:21.480 four jobs. I just want to acknowledge it. I wish 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.400 it wasn't this way. And if there's you know, obviously 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.400 at this point is a slim chance, and you know 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:31.240 where that the elected officials at the top are going 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:33.800 to do anything about this right now. Certainly not when 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:39.600 they're too busy dismantling DEI programs and chasing down immigrants 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.680 and focusing on all the wrong things. In my opinion, 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.120 they're not going to be dealing with this stuff. So 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.720 but at the same time, privately owned companies, y'all can 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.200 still stand up. You can make sure that you're reviewing 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:56.120 your compensation for any signs of gender racial bias that 0:13:56.160 --> 0:14:00.000 could be impacting pay equity. We could be educating when 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:04.560 in about negotiating how to understand their true market values. 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:08.080 So that's my work that I do through Manny Moneymakers, 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:11.040 through of course Brown Ambition as well through all my coaching. 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:13.559 We got to help each other. We got to talk about, 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:15.920 you know, the ways that we are making money, the 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:19.600 ways that we are able to develop multiple income streams, 0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:21.000 but do it in a way where we are not 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:25.160 sacrificing our sanity and our health in the process. And 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:29.400 support one another, rely on our communities. Make sure you're 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:32.280 voting in your local elections. That has never been more 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:36.560 important vote in your local elections. Pay attention to what's 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.960 happening at the local and state level, because these guys 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:43.080 and women are going to be the unsung heroes, I 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:45.280 think to get us through the next four years. Because 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:49.520 even though the federal policy does matter a great deal, 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:53.360 there are certainly guard rails and safety nets, social safety 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:55.360 nets that can be put in place at the state 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:58.680 and local level that can help if we hold our 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:03.320 elected officials accountable for putting those safety nets in place. 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:07.200 All right, So this is not says I know this, 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:10.720 y'all are not statistics like we are living this life. Okay. 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.440 We have to push for a world where we do 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:17.440 not have to work so many damn jobs just to survive. Okay, Jen, 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:19.440 thank you so much for your question. Thanks for giving 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:21.880 me a chance to speak on that. And I'm going 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.360 to take the next question now, but maybe take a 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:30.080 little break, all right, be right back, ba fam, All right, bafam, 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:32.560 I'm back with my next question. This comes from listener 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:37.800 budget Savvy and Stuck. Budget Savvy and Stuck says, how 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.640 do I negotiate for more money in a nonprofit that 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:44.520 does market analysis for set ranges for position levels? The 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:47.280 only time people can negotiate is when they come into 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.840 the company. I've been promoted once within the company and 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:54.520 security twelve thousand dollars rais, but now I feel stuck again. 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:56.800 I think I have a little more I could learn 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:59.400 and would hate to leave too soon, but something gotta give. 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:04.200 I work in that. Oh okay, anonymous note, I work 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.680 in the HR department, so it's incredibly tricky to negotiate 0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:11.600 with the negotiators. Now listen, I completely see what you're saying. 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:13.840 I mean, I think this is an issue that also 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:17.600 holds back a lot of like state and federal workers 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.200 as well, because you have your set pay bands and 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.000 there's like all this magic math that happens to determine 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:25.560 like where how soon you can move up a level 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:28.680 and a grade and all those steps and stuff like that. However, 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:31.960 you make a really important point. The only way you 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:35.960 can negotiate for more money is when at the nonprofit 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:38.400 you work for. You've noticed is when people come into 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:42.320 the company. So you may need to not necessarily leave 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:45.200 the company, but you may need to be at risk 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:47.240 of leaving the company. And by that I mean getting 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:51.160 a competing offer from another firm, another nonprofit, another organization, 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:54.280 whatever it may be, and bringing that to them because 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:57.280 I know, I mean, you're an HR, you know, and 0:16:57.360 --> 0:16:59.080 it sounds like, honestly, it sounds like they put a 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:03.120 lot of thought into their analysis for compensation. And I'm 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:05.840 really not mad at that. And I know there's maybe 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:09.399 a higher bar for you being one of them to 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.320 try to negotiate. But at the end of the day, 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:13.440 like if you're really good at your job and they're 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:15.199 afraid to lose you, and you come to them and 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:17.320 you say you're going to lose me because they're going 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.399 to offer me ten k more or they're going to 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:22.239 give me a promotion to whatever title, they have an 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:25.719 opportunity to step up and try to save you, and 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:27.439 then you have a choice to make. I know that 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:28.960 you say you don't want to leave too soon, you 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.520 feel like you have more to learn. Then you got 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:33.720 a weigh the pros and cons. Do you have to 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:38.000 stick around to learn those lessons while feeling like you're underpaid, 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:40.840 or could you learn what you need to learn by 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:44.840 going to another firm. We all have something that we're 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:47.280 afraid of and that keeps us stuck, right, So really 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:49.320 get real with yourself, what is it that I'm actually 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.760 afraid of here, and then let's lay out let's lay 0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:56.400 out what happens. Let's actually create a hypothetical reality where 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:58.600 the worst case scenario happens, and then what will you do? 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.399 Budget savvy and stuck? Who are the five people that 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:04.080 you're going to call up if it's not working out? 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:06.760 And who are going to help you by sending you 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:09.760 new opportunities? Can you go back to your current job? 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:12.159 Does your team love you enough to be like, Okay, 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:14.000 if that doesn't work out, come back here. We got 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:17.679 room for you. Do you have great references? Like do 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:21.000 you have a great network that can support you as 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:24.560 your experience really relevant in the marketplace? Are there many 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:26.600 jobs out there that you'd be a good fit for. 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:29.800 You know, these are questions to remind yourself that I 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:32.600 can afford to take a risk, Like even if the 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:36.240 worst case scenario were to happen, I trust that I could, 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:39.000 that I got me, that I can pick myself back up. 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:41.520 You know. Now, I'm not encouraging anyone to make a 0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:44.760 leap or quit their job just because they get more pay. 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.679 I think that you've pointed out like a really good 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:52.200 counter argument to just leaving in pursuit of higher pay 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:54.480 or some bigger title. Is you want to think about 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.200 the workplace culture, Like if you really like your colleagues, 0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:00.600 if they give you a really great remote work or 0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.440 they let you be flexible and phone in or work 0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:05.960 telecommute some days and come into the office other days, 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:09.840 if you love the mission of the nonprofit you work for, 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:13.480 if you really you know, align with the values of 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:17.439 the company, all that matters as well. Okay, So I 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:19.760 also think, like, one thing I'll leave you with is 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:23.439 who's calling you stuck? Why do you you feel stuck? 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:25.359 Are you really stuck? 0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:25.840 Like? 0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:29.240 And when I think about stuck, I think I'm desperate 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:32.520 to do something different. I've been doing this for way 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:35.159 too long. I'm not growing, I'm not using I'm not 0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:38.800 really like using skills that are making an impact. And 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:41.480 I see no other place to go. I don't have 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:45.440 any contacts that could get me work anywhere else. I'm 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:48.440 like really beating up against a brick wall here. They 0:19:48.440 --> 0:19:52.200 don't want to develop me, Like my pay isn't going anywhere. 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:54.920 What is it that's making you feel stuck? Because I 0:19:54.960 --> 0:19:57.480 don't know that I believe that you're genuinely stuck. I 0:19:57.480 --> 0:20:00.760 think that you might feel that you're stuck, and I 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:04.080 just wonder if it's something that you can just start 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:07.040 telling yourself a different story about why you are where 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:10.280 you are right now. What if you were to flip 0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:13.080 the script and say, oh, no, I'm not stuck. I 0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:16.400 really like the work I'm doing. I love the culture here, 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:20.080 I have respect with my colleagues. I know I have 0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:24.240 more to learn, and I'm sticking around because this is 0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:26.040 the kind of place I want to learn it from. 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:28.919 And I know when in a great opportunity comes along, 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:32.800 I'm not going to be so foolish as to ignore 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:36.520 that opportunity. And of course I'll entertain any cool opportunity 0:20:36.520 --> 0:20:38.840 that comes my way. But it's going to take a 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:42.280 lot to persuade me to leave this place, because, yeah, 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:45.040 I'd like to get paid more, of course, because I 0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:48.080 have financial goals and I want to reach. But I 0:20:48.160 --> 0:20:50.400 really enjoy the work here and I know that there's 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:52.280 more than just money at the end of the day, 0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:55.920 and that is also like I'm weighing that as well 0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:58.560 as getting paid more and getting that title that I want. 0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:01.679 So no, I'm not stuck. I am strategically choosing to 0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:04.880 stay in place. Because this is the best option I have, 0:21:05.720 --> 0:21:08.280 because this is what I want for my career right now, 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:10.159 and it's what makes sense for me, and it's what 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:11.960 I can the best I can do with the information 0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:13.880 I have right now. And if I get new information 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:17.920 or new opportunities, then I'll weigh those as well. But yeah, 0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:21.200 I'm true, I'm cool. I'm happy with where I'm at. Now, 0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:23.719 that's a different story you can tell yourself. And then 0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:26.199 once you start telling yourself that story, it becomes true. 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:28.719 Isn't that crazy? It becomes true? And now you're not 0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:33.200 budget savvy and stuck to our budget savvy and slaying 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:40.240 your budget savvy and sailing your budget savvy and satisfied. Ooh, 0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:47.159 that's the one budget savvy and satisfied. Hell yeah, all right, 0:21:47.320 --> 0:21:50.399 miss budget savvy and satisfied. Thank you so much for 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:53.959 your question. To be a fan love y'all. Thank you 0:21:54.080 --> 0:21:56.159 a million times for the support. Make sure that you 0:21:56.280 --> 0:21:57.960 tell a friend to tell a friend to listen to 0:21:58.040 --> 0:22:01.679 the show. We're airing new episodes. Brown Table is on Wednesdays. 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:05.520 We're still doing Baqa on Fridays, sprinkling in some really 0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:09.280 cool guest interviews. Really, whenever I damn well. Please, And 0:22:09.280 --> 0:22:11.480 when I think there's someone y'all gotta hear from. Got 0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:14.879