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Speaker 1: What APPX lip Service.

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Speaker 2: I'm Angela Yee, I'm Gigi Maguire, I'm Stephanie Santiago, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Laura Moa and it's Chris CQ Perry.

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Speaker 1: Okay. First of all, Chris GQ Perry, I've been following

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Speaker 1: you for quite a while and usually in the morning,

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Speaker 1: I guess because I always look at what you have

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Speaker 1: to say about relationships. It pops up on my timeline,

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Speaker 1: like the first thing I opened on Instagram. It'll be

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Speaker 1: like one of your posts. You know, always right away

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Speaker 1: that positivity you need. It's like a daily information.

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Speaker 2: Right So, Chris, let's talk about who you are, because

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Speaker 2: you are a relationship coach, you're a best selling author,

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Speaker 2: and you have your own show. So just give people

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Speaker 2: a little bit of a background.

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Speaker 3: Yep. So my book twenty four Reasons You Are Good

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Speaker 3: Enough was pretty much just an idea of who I

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Speaker 3: am and just talking about things that I've gone through

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Speaker 3: to make me the person that I am, and that

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Speaker 3: trickles into my relationship stuff because I feel like it's

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Speaker 3: very important to love yourself before you can love anybody else.

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Speaker 3: And that's what my book means to me and to

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Speaker 3: the people that read it. I hope they feel the same,

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Speaker 3: and then I, Yeah, I'm just a small town boy

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Speaker 3: and I have my traditional values. My dad and my

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Speaker 3: mom raised me. My dad was a very masculine, strong man,

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Speaker 3: and he taught me how to be a man, how

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Speaker 3: to lead, how to protect, how to provide. And I

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Speaker 3: feel like in today's generation, we lack that the common

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Speaker 3: values in relationships, and people are struggling so much to

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Speaker 3: find a good man or a good woman because they

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Speaker 3: don't understand their roles in a relationship. They don't understand

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Speaker 3: how to be in healthy relationships.

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Speaker 1: You think that is this generation? Like it's a newer phenomenon,

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Speaker 1: because okay, and why do you think that is?

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Speaker 3: Why do I think that is?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, why do you think that's happening in this generation?

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Speaker 3: I honestly think it starts in the home. I don't

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Speaker 3: think the man's in the home enough. We don't have enough,

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Speaker 3: especially in the black community. The father's not in the

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Speaker 3: house to build that structure. You see, A woman can

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Speaker 3: can raise a boy, but if he doesn't see what

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Speaker 3: he needs to do and what and what he ed

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Speaker 3: A man has to do to love his mom correctly

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Speaker 3: and what a man's role is he's not going to know.

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Speaker 3: His mom can tell until he's blue in the face.

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Speaker 3: This is what you're supposed to do. This is how

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Speaker 3: you treat a woman. This is how you're a man

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Speaker 3: and a provider. But if he doesn't see it, he

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Speaker 3: doesn't know. He only knows what his mom shows him.

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Speaker 3: And that's why I say this, and it's such it's

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Speaker 3: so important when I say this, because men look for

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Speaker 3: women that are like their mom. So men look for

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Speaker 3: a woman that does everything for them and plays the

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Speaker 3: role of their.

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Speaker 2: Mom instead of how I feel about the man on

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Speaker 2: the East Coast at least.

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Speaker 4: But I don't feel like that about all men.

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Speaker 3: Not all men.

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Speaker 1: Even women take on the role of being nurturing too,

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Speaker 1: because sometimes as women, like we maybe cater too much.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I agree with that.

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Speaker 2: I feel like women that I first go to when

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Speaker 2: I'm with a man, my nursing side, like I want

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Speaker 2: to take care of everything.

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Speaker 4: Are you okay? Are you hungry? Maybe?

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Speaker 1: She like we been on the back where Yeah, I feel.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm definitely I'm a mother and I've been a

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Speaker 2: mother since sixteen.

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Speaker 1: She has two sons.

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Speaker 2: I have a twenty two year old and I have

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Speaker 2: a twelve year old, so like that's just something organic

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Speaker 2: and that's just my personality. Like I'm like that with

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Speaker 2: my friends, I'm like that with my family. I'm like

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Speaker 2: that with people they don't even like me, Like that's

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Speaker 2: just something in me. And I feel like sometimes when

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Speaker 2: I do that, people think I don't love myself, you know,

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Speaker 2: But I love you, So therefore I love myself and

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Speaker 2: I give what I want. I feel like, if I

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Speaker 2: want love, I got to give love. So when it

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Speaker 2: comes to friendship, relationship, family ship, like that's all I

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Speaker 2: know how to do. Because I also didn't get a

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Speaker 2: lot of that growing up. So you're right, I didn't

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Speaker 2: get it from her, and it.

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Speaker 3: Has to be reciprocated. I'm not going to sit here.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sitting here bashing all men. There are good

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Speaker 3: men out there, but I just feel like there's not enough, okay,

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Speaker 3: and the men set the tone in relationships. We can

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Speaker 3: sit here, women can sit here and say all day

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Speaker 3: this is I want to nurse, nurture my man. I

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Speaker 3: want to be there for my man. But how exhausting

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Speaker 3: does it get? If the man is leading, yeah and

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Speaker 3: being and setting the tone of the relationship, it works.

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Speaker 3: If the woman has to set it.

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Speaker 1: If he's doing that for you too, then it works, right,

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Speaker 1: He's you think we give up too easily nowadays too.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, one hundred percent. Social media has made that.

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Speaker 3: It's so there's so many fishency right with social media.

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Speaker 3: Like you see somebody that's beautiful and you just want

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Speaker 3: to go grab them because you can get him. You

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Speaker 3: have that option to just jump in their inbox.

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Speaker 1: Well, listen, because you are a relationship coach, we are

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Speaker 1: definitely going to take advantage of the fact that you're

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Speaker 1: here because everybody has different situations going on. So I know,

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Speaker 1: we all came up with things that are going on

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Speaker 1: in our lives that we're going to share today just

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Speaker 1: to get to your perspective, you know, as an expert

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Speaker 1: in this scenario. And by the way, you got to

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Speaker 1: check it out because he also just recently sat down

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Speaker 1: with Tia Murray. So that was a great conversation that

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Speaker 1: you had.

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Speaker 3: If you guys, she's a good woman. She did me

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Speaker 3: a favor. She didn't have to do what she did.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, but it seemed like she very much wanted

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Speaker 1: to do it too. Because sometimes it's having those conversations

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Speaker 1: and hopefully what we talk about today helps other people

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Speaker 1: who might be going through something similar. It can spark something.

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Speaker 1: And you say, Laura, let's start with you, hey, because

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Speaker 1: we talked about what all of our situations are right now,

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Speaker 1: so that we could you know, share with you.

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Speaker 3: I'm coaching through.

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Speaker 1: And you can send us in boys.

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Speaker 2: So basically, all right, I met some one amazing person,

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Speaker 2: but he's in the process of a divorce. They're legally

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Speaker 2: separated at the moment, and we've been dating for about

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Speaker 2: six months now and everything is great, except that that's

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Speaker 2: not fully taking care of it, and it kind of

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Speaker 2: like it's it's it's it's calls and problems as far

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Speaker 2: as like the time. You know, he has two girls,

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Speaker 2: so it's like he has to spend time with the girls.

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Speaker 2: And then you know, his significant his wife because she's

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Speaker 2: still his wife, which is hard to really say. She's

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Speaker 2: not having it like she already know who I am.

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Speaker 2: So now that's even worse, Like she's not trying to

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Speaker 2: give him the divorce.

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Speaker 4: She's listening right, and she's yeah, she definitely is talking

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Speaker 4: about at this moment.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's she definitely she doesn't want to divorce.

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Speaker 4: Some At first, I was a little.

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Speaker 2: I held back, Like I took a while before I

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Speaker 2: could really fully put my guard zones and really going

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Speaker 2: because I'm not I haven't dated a man going through

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Speaker 2: a divorce, and I didn't know if I should even

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Speaker 2: do that because, like you said, like in this generation,

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Speaker 2: there is.

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Speaker 4: Not a lot of values and morales.

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Speaker 2: So I was still feeling bad because it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're legally separated, but you're still legally married until the divorce,

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Speaker 2: and she just won't sign the divorce, so it's like

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Speaker 2: how long are we going to go with this? But

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Speaker 2: now he's dealing with that, But then he's dealing with

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Speaker 2: work issues, and it's like the time like that, I

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Speaker 2: feel like the things that I want and I need

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Speaker 2: from him, I'm being over understanding and at the same

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Speaker 2: time compromising.

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Speaker 1: So you're accommodating him. And she's also not letting him

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Speaker 1: see his kids the way that he went right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we've been dating for six months.

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Speaker 2: Six months, Yes, And it was easy at first until

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Speaker 2: she find out.

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Speaker 3: Who I was m So is he trying to get

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Speaker 3: the divorce? Is he putting the effort in?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 2: And and I you know, I always still had my

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Speaker 2: doubts because I don't put past, let them past, no

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Speaker 2: men right now. So I always had my doubts until

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Speaker 2: she called my phone. She called my phone and she

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Speaker 2: tried to act like she was his sister, and then

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Speaker 2: I was like, that's not his sister.

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Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, you're not his sister.

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Speaker 2: She was like, well, I'm just trying to see where

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Speaker 2: he's at, because he told me he moved in with you,

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Speaker 2: so you know, his daughter need him so and I

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Speaker 2: was like, you're so stupid. You just proved to me that, Okay,

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Speaker 2: he's not lying about where you guys are at and

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Speaker 2: you're divorce, you know, So that let me know that

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Speaker 2: he wasn't lying for real.

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Speaker 3: And I made her communication to right.

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Speaker 4: So I try.

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Speaker 2: I trust him and I believe him, but he's now

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Speaker 2: overwhelmed with that, and then he has a lot of

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Speaker 2: projects and business things going on, and then he's in

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Speaker 2: between because he left the house, you know, so he's

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Speaker 2: not where he wants to be and he feels that

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Speaker 2: it's too much for me. But I'm like, I knew

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Speaker 2: what I was getting into, and I already decided to

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Speaker 2: be understanding of that because I see who you are

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Speaker 2: as a person, and we're Greek together, So you're doing

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Speaker 2: all that understanding. Yeah, like I'm doing all the understanding.

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Speaker 2: But now it's like where we at.

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Speaker 3: But it's not like he's not trying. He's doing everything

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Speaker 3: he can as a man too, trying to make this happen.

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Speaker 4: Like he's exactly to be with you, exactly.

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Speaker 3: Be different if he was just stagnant and just like

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Speaker 3: giving you the run around and not being on right.

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Speaker 4: But he's trying, but he feels like he's feeling.

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Speaker 2: So he doesn't want to fail me and he doesn't

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Speaker 2: want me to hurt, so he rather us just for

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Speaker 2: the meantime.

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Speaker 4: So I'm like, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know if I could just sit here and wait,

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Speaker 2: I don't I may meet somebody else, Like what do

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Speaker 2: I do?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Because how long is this gonna take?

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Speaker 2: Exactly, especially you don't want to sign it and it's

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Speaker 2: so early on to be going through this exact Like

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Speaker 2: he doesn't want to where we're at right now, it's like, no,

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Speaker 2: he wants to, but he's trying to safeguard my feelings

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Speaker 2: and my emotions and from me be grateful for him.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so he's being really thoughtful.

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Speaker 5: So you guys aren't talking anymore. No, we're still peing

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Speaker 5: each other.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're still conversating, but it's that like he's leaving

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Speaker 2: he he's leaving it in my court. But at the

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Speaker 2: same time he he don't want to cause pain.

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Speaker 4: Right, he doesn't know.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting because I feel like we're also at a

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Speaker 1: point where some people's relationships are coming to an end.

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Speaker 1: Like we see there was a period where everyone's getting married.

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Speaker 1: Now there's a lot of people getting divorced because it

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Speaker 1: does happen, but they're not divorced yet. And some people

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Speaker 1: will tell you, well, oh, that person is still legally married,

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Speaker 1: but you can see they're separated and he's working on

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Speaker 1: moving on it. But he does have kids, and he

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Speaker 1: does have responses and was.

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Speaker 5: Sounding like everything was the goal because he told her

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Speaker 5: that he moved in with.

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Speaker 2: You, like, but then he started having business problems, so

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Speaker 2: it ended up like he's just very overwhelmed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and the relationship is suffering because of it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's always going to feel like he doesn't me to her.

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Speaker 2: So what I keep telling him is, like I said,

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Speaker 2: I I knew what I was getting into, so I

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Speaker 2: want to be there for you.

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Speaker 4: I want to support you through this.

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Speaker 2: I want to help you builds and I know everything

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Speaker 2: feels like the world is coming down on you, but

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Speaker 2: you're going to get through it. Because I went through

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Speaker 2: not a divorce, but you know when me and my

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Speaker 2: youngest son dad, like I went through hell like it

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Speaker 2: was and that's what she It kind of takes me

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Speaker 2: back to what I went through when I decided to

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Speaker 2: leave my son's dad because I didn't see it going

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Speaker 2: anywhere and I didn't want to stay with a man

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Speaker 2: just for you know, for the kids. And I tell

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Speaker 2: him that a lot, like, you know, do you think

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Speaker 2: that you do you want to go back because of

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Speaker 2: the kids? If that's like, you know, for the kids,

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Speaker 2: it's never yeah, and that's what he says. He said,

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Speaker 2: it's mind, but he's not going to be able to

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Speaker 2: do it.

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Speaker 3: And then you deciding that you wanted to be with

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Speaker 3: a man that was going through a divorce. I mean

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Speaker 3: it takes time and if you know what you want,

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Speaker 3: you know you want to be with him, you kind

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Speaker 3: of got to go through that storm with him.

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Speaker 4: And I'm willing to, but it doesn't want to hurt me.

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Speaker 1: But why where is this hurt thing coming from?

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Speaker 4: Though? Like because he do so if it's it's not

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Speaker 4: The marriage is work, you know.

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Speaker 2: And then what he kind of explained to me just yesterday,

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Speaker 2: the day before yesterday, when we finally had a conversation,

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Speaker 2: he was like, you know, I feel like I'm so overwhelmed.

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Speaker 2: I'm lashing out at people because I'm just so upset.

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Speaker 2: And every time we speak, I know you hurt and

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Speaker 2: I'm lashing out in you and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: do that.

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Speaker 4: So you need to get his shit together.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and the need some time on his own for

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Speaker 1: a little while, That's.

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Speaker 4: What he's saying.

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Speaker 2: I went back to like one of my exes a

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Speaker 2: couple months ago, right, and he was just hanging around

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Speaker 2: me going through a divorce, and it was so stressful.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't deal with it.

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Speaker 2: It is, so you know, I understand like what the

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Speaker 2: annoyance like it would bother.

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Speaker 1: You, because sometimes people feel like, let me get over

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Speaker 1: her by getting under you, right, say right. Sometimes people

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Speaker 1: jump from one situation to another, but they're not completely ready.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Like it feels like he has so

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Speaker 1: much going on that he needs to focus on himself.

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Speaker 1: Because at a time, certain times in your life, you

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Speaker 1: do have to be kind of selfish.

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Speaker 2: I would think, as you're going through having career issues

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Speaker 2: for wanting to deal with that person, because I really

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Speaker 2: like it.

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Speaker 1: He hasn't figured out his co parenting situation.

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Speaker 3: Exactly that situation.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry both of his children with her, yeah, and

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Speaker 2: how old are they and they're girls.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to say the ages.

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Speaker 3: So you can decide if you want to ride through

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Speaker 3: the storm with him, if you want to take a

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Speaker 3: step back to the biggest he wants to do.

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Speaker 2: I'm willing to ride the storm with him, but I

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Speaker 2: feel like he's not the he's not where he wants

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Speaker 2: to be at, and he feels that he's not the

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Speaker 2: man that I deserve. But I tell him, you can't

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Speaker 2: tell me what I want and what I needed. I

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Speaker 2: know what it is. But I do respect him and

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Speaker 2: I do respect that. At first, I was frustrated because

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Speaker 2: I was like, come on, now, all this time, it's

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Speaker 2: been six months, we're good, But and and and again,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm telling him, I'm like, you feel like

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Speaker 2: you're at your lowest right now. And I think it's

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Speaker 2: more because what he's going through I went through, not

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Speaker 2: with marriage, but it's kind of like similar and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: it feels like it's the worst thing and feel like, damn,

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Speaker 2: should I stay in this just because of my kids?

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Speaker 4: You know? But it gets better. She's gonna get she's hurt.

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Speaker 2: No matter what she cheated on you, whatever it was

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Speaker 2: that she did, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 4: She probably don't even want you.

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Speaker 2: But if you don't exactly, I'm like, but eventually, as

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Speaker 2: when you get over it, like it seems right now

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Speaker 2: like it's terrible.

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Speaker 4: So I just decide.

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Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: force anything. I'm gonna just let it go. But I

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Speaker 2: can't promise that I'm gonna be here when you feel

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Speaker 2: like the dust settle and you're ready to do girls,

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Speaker 2: So what's your question?

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Speaker 3: And you come first, right, So you have to sit

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Speaker 3: down with yourself and decide what do I want for me?

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Speaker 3: Where do I want to be? Am I getting enough

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Speaker 3: out of this relationship? And if the answer is no,

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Speaker 3: then you might have to step back and give him

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Speaker 3: his time. But if you guys are in a good

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Speaker 3: place and you guys are communicating and he feels like

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Speaker 3: he can get through this with you.

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Speaker 4: Then that's the part that has me like, I don't

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Speaker 4: have to be.

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Speaker 3: Very open with that communication and very honest. You can't

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Speaker 3: just like we'll see what happens tomorrow. No, you need

335
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,160
Speaker 3: you guys need to have these conversations daily and make

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Speaker 3: sure you guys are on the same page and communicating

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00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:04,840
Speaker 3: with one another, because it's so easy to not talk

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Speaker 3: about things and just things kind of fall in the

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00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:07,800
Speaker 3: place where they do it.

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Speaker 1: And that's never good.

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Speaker 4: And that's what I was doing.

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Speaker 2: Like it was a lot of things, like we're the time,

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Speaker 2: you know, because I'm super busy, like Angela ye has

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Speaker 2: me hella busy. Okay, so he Busy's good, amazing, so

345
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,680
Speaker 2: but but you.

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Speaker 1: Know you're not busy. That's when you be stalking people.

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Speaker 2: So it's like I tell him, it's not like I'm

348
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,120
Speaker 2: not busy. I'm super busy. So I understand the time.

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Speaker 2: But we still have to make time, right, And that's

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Speaker 2: the part that I you know, I would stay quiet,

351
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 2: you know sometimes, like I was three four days without

352
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,600
Speaker 2: seeing each other, and even though it bothers me, I

353
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,960
Speaker 2: don't want to be another burden. I don't want to nag.

354
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to put more on him, so I

355
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Speaker 2: stay quiet. So then when he do come around, and

356
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Speaker 2: we see each other. I'm happy, I'm receptive, but I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Everything's on his time and on what exactly that that's

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Speaker 1: what I have. That's a hard time. Yeah, the balance

359
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,360
Speaker 1: is off. That's to balance that out. But the question

360
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,920
Speaker 1: is is he able with all of the overwhelming and

361
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,360
Speaker 1: the busyness and this and that happening, is he able

362
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,880
Speaker 1: to be able to create their balance for the relations And.

363
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Speaker 3: She can't give you, like some of the things that

364
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,320
Speaker 3: you need, and he's going days without talking to you,

365
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Speaker 3: then you're gonna have to question if that's what you want.

366
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,240
Speaker 1: You got to hand your handself.

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00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,000
Speaker 3: Before anything, like do you are you willing to go

368
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Speaker 3: five days without talking to him for a whole year

369
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Speaker 3: and making this a consistent thing, or do you want more?

370
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Speaker 3: And if you want more, you might have to fall

371
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Speaker 3: back and give him a space and find it somewhere else,

372
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,880
Speaker 3: or decide what you want to do for you first

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Speaker 3: before anything. Remember you come first, your happiness.

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Speaker 1: Chris, Let me ask you this while she's in the

375
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Speaker 1: midst of this, is it okay for her? Like all right,

376
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Speaker 1: let's just say now you're like, you know, get your

377
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,520
Speaker 1: shit together, let me fall back do this, But she's

378
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Speaker 1: dating other Let's just say she starts dating other.

379
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Speaker 4: People down that work, right? Yeah?

380
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Speaker 1: Does he have the right then, because sometimes you feel like, well,

381
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Speaker 1: I don't want to do that because then he won't

382
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,400
Speaker 1: really take me seriously if I start dating other people

383
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,080
Speaker 1: but we're not in a relationship. He said this, X, Y,

384
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,640
Speaker 1: and Z. Do you think you should make an effort

385
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,240
Speaker 1: to date other people or is it better to just

386
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,960
Speaker 1: kind of, like, you know, wait it out and see

387
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 1: if the person who I really want, if he figures

388
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Speaker 1: it out.

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00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,080
Speaker 3: That's where you have to decide. Because if you decide

390
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,680
Speaker 3: that you don't, you have to communicate that with him

391
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,040
Speaker 3: and then kind of just enjoy you can date because

392
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,800
Speaker 3: once you communicate I'm not ready for this right now,

393
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,160
Speaker 3: I don't think you are. I'm going to take a

394
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,800
Speaker 3: step back and I'm going to date. I'm gonna enjoy

395
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,720
Speaker 3: my life. He has no right to tell you, oh,

396
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:21,400
Speaker 3: you can't do that.

397
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:22,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so crazy.

398
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,040
Speaker 2: Got answered that because literally, somebody just out of the blue,

399
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,240
Speaker 2: I would have So I was invited out two weeks

400
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,840
Speaker 2: ago somewhere. Normally I wouldn't go because I'll be at

401
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,800
Speaker 2: homewait and well, I don't know maybe he'll be able

402
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,400
Speaker 2: to make time, like you know, I wouldn't do anything

403
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 2: like I'm like, oh, maybe he has time today, but

404
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 2: this time, since it's been like that and he said

405
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,200
Speaker 2: what he said, my friend's like, yo, let's go. We

406
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 2: went and literally I met someone who's great. But now

407
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,800
Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, should I Now Ye're allowed today pursue this.

408
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 3: You're not in a relationship, just just keep that honest,

409
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:57,280
Speaker 3: open communication even though you're still healthy. Changed. Yeah, you

410
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:58,920
Speaker 3: need to be You need to be honest with what

411
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,560
Speaker 3: you're doing with hi man, because if you what if

412
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,640
Speaker 3: you're out and he sees you, what if you get

413
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,879
Speaker 3: in a situation? What if he knows you're talking to somebody.

414
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,640
Speaker 3: I think it's very important.

415
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,440
Speaker 4: You can tell him.

416
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 1: I feel like you don't have to, though, because I

417
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,760
Speaker 1: also feel like, you know, if you see me out,

418
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,480
Speaker 1: it's like, dude, we're not in a relationship.

419
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,720
Speaker 3: A man. If I feel like I'm in I'm dating

420
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,000
Speaker 3: you and we're talking and then I'm just chilling out

421
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,440
Speaker 3: when I see you with another woman.

422
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,960
Speaker 1: But we're not in a relationship another man, if we're

423
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,960
Speaker 1: not in a relationship, wouldn't you think like she and.

424
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 3: I said, if she's if she's communicating that like we're

425
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,159
Speaker 3: not in a relationship, but if she ain't saying nothing.

426
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,400
Speaker 4: And then because it.

427
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,800
Speaker 1: Was the start of a relationship, but but has it

428
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,040
Speaker 1: been didnt have y'all had that? We are now committed

429
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,000
Speaker 1: to each other? Conversation?

430
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:48,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, up under and all sudden that's changed for the

431
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,920
Speaker 2: past like month, like the past month and a half.

432
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,199
Speaker 4: Okay, so now maybe you shouldn't tell him that you

433
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:54,840
Speaker 4: met somebody.

434
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 1: But this is when you have the conversation of Okay,

435
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,200
Speaker 1: if I do, I'm gonna.

436
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm the first liar in the world.

437
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,119
Speaker 1: Let me ask you that.

438
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:05,880
Speaker 3: As hard as it might be, or if it does

439
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,359
Speaker 3: ruin that relationship, you have to be honest and he

440
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,360
Speaker 3: has to be able to trust you, whether he likes

441
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 3: it or not. And you don't want to put yourself

442
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 3: in any situations. So if you decide that you want

443
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,719
Speaker 3: to go out with somebody else, you have to let

444
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,920
Speaker 3: him know. Listen, I know that we're going through whatever

445
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,560
Speaker 3: we're going through. I'm gonna fall back and I'm gonna

446
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,040
Speaker 3: date other people. You have to be honest.

447
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna still support you, but I'm gonna be over here. Yeah, yeah,

448
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,000
Speaker 2: that figuring my life.

449
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,600
Speaker 3: Or when you lose a woman's trust you, it's very

450
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 3: hard to get that back.

451
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,640
Speaker 4: All right, figure your ship out, and I'm gonna figure

452
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:37,040
Speaker 4: mine out.

453
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,920
Speaker 1: Now, Jji, let's get to yours, because you have.

454
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,880
Speaker 3: What y'all looking y'all looking over there like I ain't

455
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,119
Speaker 3: saying nothing, but you.

456
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,640
Speaker 1: Know that was my That was that was what I said.

457
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,679
Speaker 1: I'm gonna figure myself. You figure yourself out, and I'm

458
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 1: gonna figure mine out too. So that way, she's saying

459
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,040
Speaker 1: you're doing what you're doing and I'm doing what I'm

460
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 1: doing without actually saying I'm gonna date other people. But

461
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 1: you know you're figuring, figuringspect because I was trying to

462
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,479
Speaker 1: figure out us, but you're not ready for that. So

463
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,439
Speaker 1: not I'm gonna figure out me. Women. All right now,

464
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 1: gizz let's talk about your situation, my situation. I cannot

465
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 1: wait till you hear this.

466
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I am two months into a relationship where

467
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 2: it was love at first night. I feel like it

468
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:20,880
Speaker 2: should be first first night only two months July August, August, September.

469
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:25,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, two months, so sixty day fiance, she's engaged. She

470
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 1: got engaged after how long three days.

471
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 2: Three days, like love does not wait. Love that first

472
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,119
Speaker 2: night love is not what it was. It wasn't it

473
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 2: wasn't first sight, but it was first night.

474
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna say no, but I'm going to say

475
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 3: this though, it takes about a year, year and a

476
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 3: half to get out of that infatuation stage and then

477
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 3: you start seeing somebody'shoe colors. A year. Yeah, we're in

478
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 3: the honeymoon. I think we're in the honeymoon face for

479
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,120
Speaker 3: at least a year.

480
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,640
Speaker 4: Honeymoon about two years.

481
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:56,879
Speaker 3: Then you start seeing or not.

482
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 1: I don't like they start fighting with the whole but

483
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,360
Speaker 1: go ahead, I'm not. I'm so we are not planning

484
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,119
Speaker 1: to like go get married tomorrow. We are planning to

485
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 1: live this committed life for at least a month. No, no, no,

486
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,400
Speaker 1: until we you know, figure it out. But we did

487
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 1: commit to each other relationship within like the first hour

488
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,920
Speaker 1: of that first night date night. And then three days

489
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,959
Speaker 1: later he's like, let's get married, and I'm like, okay,

490
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 1: so here we are. Do you believe in that type

491
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,159
Speaker 1: of quick love?

492
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 3: I think you need to get somebody, to get to

493
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 3: know somebody a little better before you jump. But I'm

494
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 3: not judging you but I do think that when somebody's

495
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,560
Speaker 3: very like, let's get married and let's just do this,

496
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 3: let's have a kid.

497
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,119
Speaker 4: Oh there will be no.

498
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,880
Speaker 1: Kids, right, but some people I saw people saying love

499
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 1: bombing in your comments.

500
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it was like, oh, that's the bombing.

501
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,439
Speaker 1: Oh he's manipulating.

502
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:55,199
Speaker 3: But nobody knows what you got, and so I'm not

503
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 3: here to judge.

504
00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 1: So we definitely held hands and leaped face first together.

505
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: And sixty days later, everything's fine. We're still holding hands

506
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 1: and we're still descending on this.

507
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 4: No issues, nothing, Everything is good.

508
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 1: I mean, small things, but nothing to whereas though I'm like,

509
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 1: oh my god, I made a mistake, like there was

510
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,639
Speaker 1: some there was a miscommunication issue that happened just a

511
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:26,439
Speaker 1: couple of days ago. We have not had an argument, like,

512
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: we have not yelled at each other. That has been

513
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 1: no cursing or anything. But there was a situation where

514
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: we there was a miscommunication in a conversation that we had.

515
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 1: He asked me to do something and I didn't know

516
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 1: that he asked me to do it, and I didn't

517
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: do it, and then his attitude changed and I'm like, okay,

518
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 1: I'm leaving. So I left because I didn't want to

519
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: create an argument.

520
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 3: What did you say?

521
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 1: I said, I loved a little commentary, So.

522
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:54,719
Speaker 4: I left.

523
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 1: For one, I didn't want to argue at all. For two,

524
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 1: his son was there, so I didn't want to express

525
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 1: negative energy in front of his son.

526
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 4: So I just left.

527
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 1: But I text him as soon as I got to

528
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,679
Speaker 1: my car, and I told him what my issue was,

529
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:10,199
Speaker 1: and when he responded, I realized that I miscommunicated what

530
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,439
Speaker 1: he said to me. So ultimately, that's what the issue was.

531
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: So that wasn't like a big thing. But that's like

532
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: the only thing that happened, and it wasn't big at all.

533
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 1: But I even I don't know if I would have

534
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 1: left if his son wasn't there, but I definitely wouldn't

535
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 1: have like blown it up to be a big argument

536
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 1: because it was something like very minute school. So I

537
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: feel like I was proud of myself for handling it

538
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: that way, because you know, I'm fucking great, Yeah, like

539
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 1: I am rare, you know what I'm saying normally, and

540
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 1: I did not.

541
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 4: I held the clause in and I was proud of

542
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 4: myself for that.

543
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 2: But so interesting to know, like as a relationship coaching,

544
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 2: as a man, what you think about it for one

545
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 2: and for two.

546
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 1: Advice because I did it already. I just name tattooed

547
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: on me. Yeah, you can't really go back now, Well

548
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 1: you can tattooed. I mean I can always get removed

549
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 1: the cover. First of all, sidebar tattoos is over the

550
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 1: sidebar about the tattoo. Everybody and the me maw is

551
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: worried about this damn tattoo.

552
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 4: I am not worried about the was the tattoo.

553
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 3: Let me see.

554
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 4: You can't see the tattoo, can't. Yeah you can't.

555
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 1: I'll show your picture later, but you can't see it, right.

556
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 1: But but everybody's worried about this tattoo, like.

557
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 4: You, tatty. That man's name are you after three days?

558
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 2: Right? And and I don't care about that part because

559
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 2: I have tattoos all over my body like you. Your

560
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 2: tattoos mean have meetings, right, All of my tattoos have meanings.

561
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: I don't have not one tattoo and tattooed somebody. He's

562
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 1: not the first man tattooed.

563
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 4: On me, you know.

564
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 2: But even so, he's gonna be permanent. Exactly negativity. We

565
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 2: don't live together, we live in the same city. I

566
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 2: did not move in with him.

567
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 4: I will not move in.

568
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,239
Speaker 1: No, I stay there a lot, but I will I

569
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 1: have He has his own space that he's been in

570
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 1: that he fully fits in with his son is partially

571
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 1: living with him. They have joint Why would you give

572
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 1: for that? And I have my own space that I'm

573
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 1: very comfortable in and are we understand?

574
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 3: Why would you give?

575
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to blend until we are actually married,

576
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 1: because I've made that my love before. But I picked

577
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 1: up and moved in with a man with my child

578
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: and it didn't work and I ended up. But that

579
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 1: honeymoon face, like you said, right, and I'm here for that.

580
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,400
Speaker 1: That's really really fun. That's really amazing. You know, that's

581
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: exciting and lovey dovey. You had your first little tiny argument.

582
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: That's always a cute milestone too. So what do you

583
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: think about Gigi's situation?

584
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,159
Speaker 3: I think it was kind of fast. I'm gonna be honest,

585
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 3: because you don't really know people's demons and the trauma,

586
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 3: childhood trauma that makes us who we are, like little

587
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 3: arguments fighting with somebody, somebody just running out on you, like,

588
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,400
Speaker 3: oh you really can't communicate, Like I gotta know things

589
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 3: about you and I got to know how our dynamic is.

590
00:24:58,119 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 3: I want to see you at you're worst. I need

591
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 3: to know what you are, like it's your worst, You're

592
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 3: gonna show me what you are at your best, because yeah,

593
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 3: you know that.

594
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 4: First.

595
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 3: And I just think that I'm not trying to judge you,

596
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 3: like I respect what you do and it may be

597
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 3: a beautiful relationship, but I do think take your time

598
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 3: with it and just kind of like really try to

599
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,880
Speaker 3: figure that person out and enjoy the ride and don't

600
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 3: rush things because you don't really know somebody until you.

601
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 1: Jesus like, no, no, no, I agree with all of that,

602
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 1: and I think that No, I definitely agree, and he

603
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 1: got engaged from there. So here's the thing. And Angela,

604
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: we are all friends. So they noticed about me. I

605
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 1: never ever wanted to get married. I was with somebody

606
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 1: for eleven years and didn't want to marry him. So

607
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 1: it's like the fact that I even feel like, oh

608
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 1: my God, like this person is like really my person,

609
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 1: like and it's like small things that it's how it's

610
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 1: of course the energy and chemistry, like of course that's

611
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 1: like the what everybody's says, but it's like little things

612
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 1: like the way we like organize our cabinets and fold

613
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: our towels. It's like really small things like down to

614
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: like brand lotions and soaps and shit that we will feel.

615
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 4: It's very like those things. Those sound like important things,

616
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 4: that they are important things. There are important things, but

617
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,639
Speaker 4: it's things that you would never think matter. Like I'm

618
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 4: trying to say.

619
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 1: So, it's like so our first thirty days together, but

620
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: we like to en leave each other side and we

621
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,879
Speaker 1: would wake up every morning at like six am and

622
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 1: just like talk, like the communication and the trust from

623
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 1: day one has only been continuing to build, Like we've

624
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: learned so much about each other, family, past, religion, like

625
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: all of those important conversations, and it was kind of

626
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: like a crash course on each other. Sometimes people come

627
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: from such fucked up prior relationships that it kind of

628
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 1: prepares you for like all the things you don't want,

629
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: and then you know what you don't want and that

630
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:55,360
Speaker 1: helps you know what.

631
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 3: You do want. I don't know, like this could be

632
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 3: a beautiful relationship. Things can break out, and I think

633
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 3: that also spent some time living with him before you

634
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 3: make any big decisions.

635
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: Definitely not going, We're definitely not getting So he's a

636
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: business owner's entrepreneur. He has restaurants and clubs, and there

637
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 1: are restaurants being built out, there's a club being remodeled.

638
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: So we're not even thinking about playing the wedding until

639
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: all of that is done. Coffee his restaurants.

640
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, we got to make to get on that menu.

641
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 1: So it's not like we like, okay, we got engaged

642
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 1: in there, we're getting married tomorrow, like we're really gonna like,

643
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 1: let they ask y'all both something and everybody here. How

644
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: I'm praying, is sex in the equation when it comes

645
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: to something like this, okay, because it's like that the

646
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: sex is definitely good, but okay, let's just say it.

647
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 1: We're coming from what everything else was great. Let's just

648
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 1: say and fortunately for you it is, but let's just

649
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: say it wasn't. Do you think you could still feel

650
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 1: this way?

651
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 4: So?

652
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: And I only asked this because I was watching The

653
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: Ultimatum on Netflix and she had an issue with her

654
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 1: man just because this sex wasn't that great but everything else.

655
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: So the relationship that I was in prior to this

656
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: one lasted for a year and a half, and the

657
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 1: worst part of that relationship was the sex. What do

658
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 1: you think about that, Chris, Like, can you see a

659
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:25,919
Speaker 1: relationship working and thriving if this sex just does not click?

660
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 3: No, I think that you guys gotta find either ways

661
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 3: to spark it up a little bit and figure out

662
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 3: what's going on. But yeah, that's a that's important part

663
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 3: of a relationship, especially if sex is important to you,

664
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 3: your sexual highly sexual person.

665
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: I am relationship that relationship that I was in two

666
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 1: years ago. What was so bad about it?

667
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 4: The sex.

668
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 6: You're gonna so, you know, So it was the very

669
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 6: first time we had so we waited probably like I

670
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 6: don't know, six months before we had sex, sign right,

671
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 6: and the very first time I feel like there was

672
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 6: so much passion and anticipation that it was good.

673
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 4: The first time I came twice it was great, not great,

674
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 4: but it was good. Right.

675
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 1: Every every time since then, like every time it was

676
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: like very cookie cutter, like exactly the same, and it

677
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: didn't last very long. And I can literally remember in

678
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: a year and a half, I can remember twice that

679
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 1: it was different.

680
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 2: I remember the exact two times that it wasn't the same,

681
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 2: exact sex, and then it wasn't.

682
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 3: But that's the problem with it.

683
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 2: I mean, it just it just he was. He was

684
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 2: on average size. You're very vocal. Did you tell him

685
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: and he was?

686
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 4: I didn't tell her, Yeah he was answered he had

687
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 4: some weird injury.

688
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, penis no, but that's your side. But he was

689
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 2: going through some things with his body, like in turn

690
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 2: those things with his body, so he couldn't do a

691
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 2: whole lot.

692
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 1: So basically I rolled him until he came every single time.

693
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: Yeah right, nobody wants to do that. Okay, all right,

694
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 1: that was our sex every time except twice, and then

695
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 1: it wasn't that big.

696
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie, so I did for my opinion.

697
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: But I didn't say like, oh my god, I hate

698
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: our sex, because I didn't really hate it, but it

699
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: just wasn't good. However, when I did like kind of

700
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 1: bring it up, he would just like brush it off

701
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 1: and not really want to like get into like the conversation.

702
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 4: So yeah, after a.

703
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: While, I was just like, all right, I gotta slide

704
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 1: up out of this, and eventually I did.

705
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 4: I ended the relationship.

706
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 1: But you're not going to tell be cause you didn't

707
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: really miss him. When he was like, you know, like

708
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 1: yeah it's good, you'd be like listen, I need Yeah,

709
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: you were like I had talked to him in three weeks.

710
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 3: That was the other thing.

711
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: The other reason why I broke up with that man

712
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 1: is because we would go weeks without seeing each other

713
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,239
Speaker 1: and we did. We were not in a long dier

714
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 1: stance relationship. We were It actually got to the point

715
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 1: where it was like a two month span where I'm like,

716
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 1: we haven't seen each other in two months going on

717
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: exactly so like that in the in the Terrible sex.

718
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: And it was another thing that I care not to

719
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: mention on camera, was the three things that made me

720
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: be like, all right, I gotta suck out with it.

721
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: So I ended it.

722
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 3: But that's the thing, though, that was something that was

723
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 3: important to you. That's something that was important to you

724
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: that you communicated to him. He didn't try to fix.

725
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: No right and wouldn't even address he wouldn't even like

726
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 1: get into the conversation part of communication. And it was

727
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 1: more than once that I bought it up in different settings,

728
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: Like it was literally one time when we like I'm

729
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: taking like the the hot washcloth back to the bathroom

730
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: and I'll come back and I get right in bed

731
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: and I say something about what just happened, and then

732
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: he's just like I'd love to come too. Exactly, That's

733
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: not what I said, but you know what I'm saying,

734
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: Like I said something like in the moment, like right after,

735
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: like in the moment you.

736
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 3: Got to hit him in the ego to get them.

737
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 4: And he just was like a rag No I.

738
00:31:58,600 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 7: Cold.

739
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 3: I believe that they left him in the bathtub where

740
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 3: they left Shorty home in the bathtub.

741
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 4: The Tyler Perry wash cloth.

742
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, definitely gonna take my time moving forward with right,

743
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: because if that's your if that's your forever, there's no rush. Right,

744
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: you're together, We're taking the day by day. Do you

745
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: think marriage is important nowadays? Because there's so many people

746
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: now who were like we could be together but not

747
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: get married.

748
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 3: To each his own me personally, I do think marriage

749
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 3: is important.

750
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 4: But that's what I was gonna say.

751
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,959
Speaker 5: I think that you guys should if you're gonna get married,

752
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,719
Speaker 5: like an said, is forever, might as well.

753
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 4: I don't agree. I think you should do it faster.

754
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 4: You know we're gonna wait. Don't give it that we're

755
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 4: gonna wait.

756
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 3: I think you should wait and see all sides of him.

757
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 3: I see all sid because you even admitted like you

758
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 3: just ran out and he was like, y'all, I'm tripping,

759
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 3: I'm doing too much. So he got to see those

760
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 3: sides of you tube to see how you react.

761
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 4: You felt like you're doing too much.

762
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: No, this was the in the moment of this miscommunication

763
00:32:59,560 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: she got.

764
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 4: And just like, yeah, it's just mad. You didn't really

765
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 4: feel like that.

766
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 1: I felt I didn't feel like I was doing too much.

767
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,719
Speaker 1: But I felt like if I don't remove myself from

768
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: the situation, it can turn negative, and I don't want

769
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: to do that. Like, I know my capabilities. I know

770
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: I'm about to Chris, how did you know your women?

771
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 3: Brittany?

772
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: Okay, how did you know she was the one?

773
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 3: A lot of time, a lot of working with each other.

774
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 3: We do therapy, so us just kind of growing and

775
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 3: taking our time and our relationships. So a lot of

776
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 3: people always say, like, you're not married, spent five years

777
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 3: in now I want to get married now I'm ready,

778
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 3: But I feel like we just spent a lot of

779
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 3: time building, building our relationship with God, building our relationship

780
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 3: with each other, seeing every aspect of each other.

781
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 4: How have you guys been together five years?

782
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 3: I know I'm about to hear why you ain't married?

783
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 4: It isn't a long time married.

784
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 3: We aren't married yet.

785
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 4: No, are you getting married?

786
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 1: Look at that?

787
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 4: I want to hear her. Go ahead.

788
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 3: How long?

789
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 4: So you guys have been together five years?

790
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 2: You've already explored guard God, you know this is your

791
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:10,320
Speaker 2: person person and you be in a relationship expert five years.

792
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 3: I don't think there's a timeline, right.

793
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 2: Do you think that's you think that's a long but

794
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 2: you think that's a long time normal. I don't think

795
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:23,720
Speaker 2: that's a long time. It's like my regular relationship around

796
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 2: the corner, like I have with anybody. Any All of

797
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,399
Speaker 2: my relationships are five get older.

798
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 3: The thing is she does, and that's why I know.

799
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 2: She was getting to wait want I'm sorry. Child is

800
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 2: thirty thirty, she has time. Do you guys have children?

801
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,240
Speaker 3: We do not have children together, Yes, but she wants children.

802
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 3: I'm a firm believer in just taking our time. And

803
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 3: people always tell you know her, her family, my family,

804
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 3: They want to rush things. Yeah, I do want to

805
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 3: you have a child. Yeah, I do have a child,

806
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 3: but I want a child with her.

807
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 4: Yes.

808
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 3: So let me let me make this clear too, because

809
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 3: I know this is going to come out. I'm not

810
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 3: a perfect man. By any means, and I don't want

811
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,320
Speaker 3: to sit here and appreciate it like I know everything.

812
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 3: I'm speaking from my experience and things that I've been through.

813
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 3: I went through my dog years, I went through my

814
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 3: fun years.

815
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 6: Not you.

816
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, within the past five years.

817
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 3: Not within the past five years. Absolutely not. When I

818
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 3: was younger. When I was a young man, I experienced,

819
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 3: I had fun. You get older, you mature, you live,

820
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 3: and you learn right. And I'm not here to sit

821
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 3: here and try to talk like I'm perfect. None of

822
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 3: my messages are talking about being perfect. I just want

823
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 3: to once speak about the man that I inspire to

824
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 3: be and to hold myself accountable and try to inspire

825
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 3: other young men coming up.

826
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 1: We can't listen to people who think they're perfect, though

827
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: nobody is perfect. Yeah, because I think you learn the

828
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 1: most from things that didn't work out, yep. And I

829
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 1: always feel that way because we've all sat here and

830
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: had some things that did not work out, and some

831
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: of it is not our fun and some of it

832
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 1: is tend to be able to understand what we've done,

833
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 1: you know in the past that we're like, Okay, that

834
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: was a mistake, and I can tell you what I

835
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 1: did so you know not to do the same thing

836
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 1: I did.

837
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 4: So are you feeling pressured?

838
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,919
Speaker 3: No, I don't feel her too for a marriage from her? Yes,

839
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 3: am I feeling pressured? So you feel like she's waiting

840
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 3: and I know she's ready. She's ready and waiting and

841
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 3: I know it's like now, now is the time? And

842
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 3: I prayed on it and I know I know it's time.

843
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 1: So I want to say, asked one more question, because

844
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 1: when Laura was asking, you said no. Stephanie said what's

845
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 1: the date? And you said, I'm not going to tell

846
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 1: you the date? So you in your mind know that

847
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,840
Speaker 1: you one of my forward with this. You have it,

848
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 1: but you just are going to work on it, and

849
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: that it happened when it happened.

850
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 3: No, right, That's.

851
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 2: What I'm That's what I'm getting at, Like, you know

852
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 2: what you want to do, and you know that they're

853
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 2: timing and you're figuring it out.

854
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 1: What do you think about ultimating? That's what I get

855
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: from that because sometimes in relationships people feel like, look,

856
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:50,840
Speaker 1: we've been together X amount of years and you know,

857
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: and there is a show on Netflix that I just

858
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: reference called The Ultimatum, But what do you think about

859
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 1: women being like Okay, we've been together eight years, and

860
00:36:57,840 --> 00:36:58,959
Speaker 1: so what are we doing.

861
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's her boundary. She setting her boundaries and what

862
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 3: she wants in the relationship. If that's what she wants,

863
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 3: you got to respect that she's communicating it with you,

864
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 3: like you communicate it with the sex thing, right, You're

865
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 3: letting your man know and it's his decision to decide

866
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 3: what he wants to do with that. I'm going to

867
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 3: do the right thing, or I'm just going to avoid

868
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 3: you and just keep doing what I want and I

869
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 3: broke up with him. Yeah, I think communication is very

870
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 3: That's why it's so healthy, right, communication, Because when you

871
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 3: don't tell your partner and then you break up, you

872
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 3: feel like the bad person because you didn't communicate what

873
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 3: was wrong in the relationship. But when you communicate and

874
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 3: you're being consistent and your partner's not doing what they want,

875
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 3: it's so much easier for you to just walk away

876
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 3: because it's like I told.

877
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 2: You, But sometimes over communicating, Like, I'm a very communicated person.

878
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 4: I love to communicate. I'm very emotional. I agree with you,

879
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 4: you can't over communicate, bro I am very.

880
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 2: To the point where it's like Nagari, right, and this

881
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 2: is what I'm saying, or it's just CMI.

882
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 4: That's how I felt like, we're my situation.

883
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 2: Like he felt that because I was communicating and expressing

884
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 2: how I'm feeling at the moment, is that I was

885
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 2: upset or that I was angry.

886
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 4: But I'm like, I'm not.

887
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 2: I'm just expressing how I feel and how some of

888
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 2: your moves make me feel. I know it's unintentional, but

889
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 2: it's still having these feelings, and I just want you

890
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 2: to know that so you could be aware of it

891
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 2: and be a little more mindful when you make the

892
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 2: moves that you make.

893
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,279
Speaker 3: Isn't that crazy how it works? I feel like women

894
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 3: are always going to feel they're over communicating because women

895
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 3: are much more emotional than men, and it's a man's job.

896
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,720
Speaker 1: List hear that from me.

897
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 3: Men were meant to carry the burdens of his family, right,

898
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 3: So what a woman's communicating with you, I think what

899
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 3: men lack is the ability to put their anxiety to

900
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,959
Speaker 3: a side, to the side and listen to their women

901
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 3: and understand her. Because what happens is men want to

902
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 3: fix things. So when a woman's telling her what's telling

903
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 3: him what's wrong. This has bothered me. Instantly he gets

904
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 3: into an anxiety mode like he wants to fix it, like,

905
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 3: just be quiet, we will fix this is.

906
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 1: What we're going to do. We're going to figure it out.

907
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 3: And a woman wants to talk through it, yes.

908
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: And the man is on his actions and.

909
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 3: I got high anxiety. I don't want to really engage

910
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 3: in this conversation, and they try to brush it off.

911
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 3: But I think when a man could get a asking,

912
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:04,240
Speaker 3: a man can understand a woman's feelings validate her feelings. First,

913
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 3: I understand why you feel this way, even if he

914
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 3: doesn't at the moment, I understand why you feel this way.

915
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 3: Just give me a little bit of time to just

916
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,959
Speaker 3: kind of figure out how I can get my thoughts

917
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 3: together and communicate how I feel with you. And that's

918
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 3: for a woman too. A woman is very high anxiety,

919
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 3: or a woman is very high strung, so when she

920
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 3: gets upset, her first thought is sometimes she loses it

921
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 3: in her being able to be like, you know, I

922
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 3: need to chill. Why do I feel the way I do?

923
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 3: What's the real reason I feel the way I do?

924
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 3: Bringing herself back and then having a healthy conversation, because

925
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 3: yelling and screaming is not going to fix anything.

926
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: Some people say I act like a dude in relationships

927
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 1: because I'd be mad calm till I do not want

928
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: to talk about everything all the time. It's true, like

929
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: you're also a laid back person in general.

930
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, you was gonna say that's because you were.

931
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 7: Let's talk about you got her saying that Angelo got

932
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 7: that New York, you got that New York that. I

933
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 7: will say this like people think like the man is

934
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 7: the only masculine in the relationship.

935
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 3: That's not true. The woman could be the masculine, the

936
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 3: man could be the feminine one.

937
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:07,840
Speaker 1: Can we both be mascular hilarity?

938
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 3: The balance is the balance of the two. So there's

939
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 3: the masculine and the feminine. It might be the woman,

940
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,359
Speaker 3: it might be the man, but there has to be

941
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 3: that balance.

942
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 4: Then it can't be too masculine.

943
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,239
Speaker 3: No, it's not gonna work out. There has to be

944
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 3: a masculine and the feminine, and that has to balance

945
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 3: yourself out.

946
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 1: Balance auto.

947
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 3: Look at two women that are together, you always know

948
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 3: right away who's the mask. You know who's the femine.

949
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: What are some things you learned from your dog years?

950
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 3: What did I learn from I've learned that there was

951
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 3: a time where you know, I would talk to multiple women,

952
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,479
Speaker 3: I never got anywhere. I think those were my most

953
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 3: unsuccessful years of my life until I realized, like man,

954
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 3: I met brilliant in my life changed. Not saying I

955
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 3: was doing bad, but focusing on one person. Is somebody

956
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 3: that believes in you, is your teammate, is your partner

957
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 3: and helping you grow. There's nothing better than that. And

958
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 3: when you when you try to spread yourself too thing

959
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 3: and talk to multiple.

960
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,720
Speaker 1: People, you get nowhere fast.

961
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:11,760
Speaker 3: You get nowhere.

962
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: It's time consuming and I don't know how people do it.

963
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 4: I can.

964
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,720
Speaker 5: I don't have the attention span. I have the attention

965
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,839
Speaker 5: span of a goldfish. I can't talk some more than

966
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 5: like three people a day, like but definitely I can't

967
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 5: even Okay, so I'm I don't want to talk about

968
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 5: my personal situations.

969
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 4: But I'm doing fine now.

970
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: You post some stuff on social media.

971
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 5: No, I haven't been in the country. I don't even

972
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 5: know where I'm at. I'm living a hole matrix. I

973
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:41,399
Speaker 5: don't even know where where we are, Like it's yeah,

974
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 5: so anyway, I still have a question though, like about

975
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 5: me relationship question. Like, Okay, so I meet guys and

976
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 5: This is throughout my life. This is an issue throughout

977
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 5: my life. Right I meet guys and I find that

978
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 5: they want to get serious very fast, right like making plans.

979
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 4: This is throughout my entire life. And then I.

980
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 2: Feel like the faster you do that, the faster you burn,

981
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 2: you know, like because we get to like we get

982
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 2: to this fast pace getting to know each other, and

983
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 2: then you know, you start to see the parson that

984
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 2: you hate of the person quickly.

985
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 4: I don't have any patience, you know.

986
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 5: I think I've I've lost I may have given up

987
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 5: on some great men because I don't have any patience.

988
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 5: I have this thing about me that I just feel

989
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 5: like I've already been through like the worst relationship of

990
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 5: my life. And it's like I don't want any bullshit,

991
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 5: any red flag. I don't even like I'm done. I

992
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 5: don't want to talk anymore.

993
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 3: So you don't have patience in relationship.

994
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 4: I don't have any patient.

995
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 3: Are you looking for a relationship?

996
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 4: I think so? In my head? Is that patience?

997
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 5: Like in my mind, I feel like I want to

998
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 5: be somebody's wife all the time.

999
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,319
Speaker 3: You have to have patience with people.

1000
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 2: And I feel like I feel like I'm patient with faith.

1001
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 2: You know.

1002
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,720
Speaker 4: I'm patient with my faith. I'm patient with.

1003
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 5: God, you know, And I think that's that, you know,

1004
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,839
Speaker 5: working on my faith has helped with that because I've

1005
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 5: never been really a patient person. But when it comes

1006
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 5: to men, especially at this point in my life, I

1007
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 5: just feel like I'm just not going to put up

1008
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 5: with any any bullshit.

1009
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: I just have.

1010
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 4: Boundaries any over, I understanding your boundaries.

1011
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 2: But then I might meet a guy and he might

1012
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 2: see a red flag in me, because it happens the

1013
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 2: other way around too. I might meet a great guy

1014
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 2: and we're having a great time and then boom, he

1015
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 2: sees a red flag in me, and he doesn't have

1016
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 2: any patience for me either, so it happens back to

1017
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 2: me too.

1018
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 4: So what do you think?

1019
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 3: First of all, relationships are hard, and anybody tells you

1020
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 3: their relations so you have to have patience. And if

1021
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,800
Speaker 3: you see red, you're going to see red flags and

1022
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 3: you're gonna see things you don't like about people. But

1023
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 3: is it strong enough for you to just not talk

1024
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 3: to them again? Or is it something petty like hard

1025
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 3: to love?

1026
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 5: Is visient like you'll think that I'm going to be

1027
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 5: there forever and boom you don't hear from me ever.

1028
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 3: Again, it sounds to me like you might just not

1029
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 3: be ready for a relationship right now because maybe has

1030
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 3: been the right person, and it might be that.

1031
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 4: That's what I was about to ask.

1032
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 5: This was my next my add on question, like, if

1033
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 5: the person is really great, you think it's worth being

1034
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 5: a little more patient for even though I see he's

1035
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:35,439
Speaker 5: doing things that I don't love.

1036
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,359
Speaker 3: You know how patient I got to be with Branni

1037
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 3: to this day. Patience when I be in the house.

1038
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,320
Speaker 4: Sometimes nobody's perfect.

1039
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 1: Yes, you're never You're always going to find something that

1040
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 1: doesn't wait when you be in the house.

1041
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 3: Sometimes I get frustrated. I'm not the type of person

1042
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 3: that likes living with somebody. I need my space, like

1043
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 3: I need to breathe. And then there's times when I

1044
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 3: get frustrated with Brinnie, but I can't just be you know,

1045
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 3: I'm out.

1046
00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not happy your man cave somewhere in

1047
00:44:59,040 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 1: the house.

1048
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got the man case. But even with that,

1049
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 3: you know, it's just there's a level of patience and understanding.

1050
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 3: It's hard enough living with ourselves and then living with

1051
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 3: somebody else. So when you do make that commitment, you

1052
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 3: have to be patient, understanding, loving, and communicate. And a

1053
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 3: lot of that is from things that we've been through.

1054
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 3: It's hard for us to do that, and it's a

1055
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 3: lot of it is anxiety.

1056
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 5: I think I'm just easy to let everything go, like

1057
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:30,480
Speaker 5: fuck it, God, but you have a very fucking mindset.

1058
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 3: But but you're telling me that. It's telling me you're

1059
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 3: not ready for a relationship. If you could just say,

1060
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 3: if you could just let it go, Like if somebody

1061
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 3: was to give you a hundred thousand dollars today, would

1062
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 3: you just be like, you can have it back? Want

1063
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:41,959
Speaker 3: you would be like, no, no, no, I need that money,

1064
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:43,879
Speaker 3: right because you really want that right.

1065
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 4: A couple of times you had therapy.

1066
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 3: You're not gonna give up a gold mind in a

1067
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 3: person either, right, if they're a good person, that's somebody

1068
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 3: you really want. If you're not ready for that relation,

1069
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 3: if you don't want it, you're just gonna give it back.

1070
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 3: But if you're ready for that for it, you're gonna

1071
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 3: work for it.

1072
00:45:58,080 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie.

1073
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 5: Sometimes I look back and regret, like, dam maybe I

1074
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 5: shouldn't have you know, did that?

1075
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 4: Maybe you know? Like and and it's like you can't

1076
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 4: go back.

1077
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 2: You gotta even though I have to say, there's like

1078
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 2: a good percentage that will come back, but it's like

1079
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 2: you want wait, I'll wait it out and by the

1080
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 2: time you know that thought would probably have left already.

1081
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 2: You know where I'm like, oh, I made a mistake,

1082
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 2: so by the time they come back, I probably don't

1083
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 2: want them again.

1084
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,759
Speaker 1: Have you have a question for the room? So we,

1085
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 1: like Angela mentioned before, you turn your losses into lessons, right,

1086
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 1: you turn things that don't work out into a learning experience.

1087
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 1: What do we do with our regrets, our relationship regrets.

1088
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 4: I don't regret anything.

1089
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:45,360
Speaker 2: You never every situation I've been in my life, I

1090
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 2: don't regret.

1091
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,839
Speaker 4: I regret if you guys I still have, I do too.

1092
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 4: I can't even shine. I haven't had too.

1093
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 2: Many relationships that like, all my relationships have been long

1094
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 2: relationships and hello, I have two kids, like but people

1095
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 2: that right here your kids fall. I feel like God

1096
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 2: put everybody in your life for a reason, and some

1097
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 2: people I forget about to figure out why and what

1098
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 2: that was.

1099
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: For, Like I don't necessarily mean a person, but maybe

1100
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:17,720
Speaker 1: a decision.

1101
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 4: No, But this is what I'm.

1102
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 5: Saying, me regretful for you know, curving somebody who could

1103
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 5: have been a potential I don't have regret, good partner.

1104
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 1: For regretting people. I'm like, why do I get that person?

1105
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: Don't you wish? Give you waste? Given things that you

1106
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 1: learn from, right, you learn like, I'm not putting up

1107
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: with this anymore if this happens. And you know, along

1108
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 1: those lines, right, one of your red flags and this

1109
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 1: is something I don't agree with. You said not posting

1110
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 1: your significant other is a red flag.

1111
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 3: Were talking about that.

1112
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,879
Speaker 1: But see, I also feel like for me, I never

1113
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: really I've never posted somebody I was dating, and I

1114
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 1: feel like it's different. Also in the entertainment, I was

1115
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: going to say that too, it's different for you to

1116
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: post your significant other versus because why why is that?

1117
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: Because there's more microscope spot Like, there's more there's more

1118
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 1: people watching, there's more outside influences, there are more haters,

1119
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 1: there's just more chatter.

1120
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:16,359
Speaker 4: There's just more energy putting onto it.

1121
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 3: No, none of that, but I have to The thing

1122
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 3: is like, if you're strong with your partner and you

1123
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 3: guys are like this, nothing on the outside world.

1124
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 4: Matters.

1125
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,920
Speaker 2: That's because we posted each other. That was that was

1126
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:32,840
Speaker 2: our announcement and they gonna find out anyway.

1127
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 3: Bigger you get, the more you out.

1128
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:36,479
Speaker 4: That was our That was our announcement to the world

1129
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 4: that we were together.

1130
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: Like I don't hide my man, I just don't post him.

1131
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 2: He's the.

1132
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 1: But I also feel like I kind of really use

1133
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 1: my social media for more work related things.

1134
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 3: But you just you just said it. You don't have

1135
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 3: you just posted your partner by just saying that you

1136
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 3: have a partner. So you let you.

1137
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: Say that knows that she's in a relationship.

1138
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 3: But if you don't, we don't know that you have

1139
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 3: a partner. So she's getting DMS or he's getting DMS.

1140
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 3: You know how many people don't post their partner on purpose,

1141
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 3: So it's just I could look like they're single, look

1142
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 3: like they're just in case something bets case.

1143
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 1: But same times, it's also like depending on why, some

1144
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 1: people are just not like social media people, you know

1145
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like for me, I feel like my

1146
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: page is more about business than anything, you know, like

1147
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 1: my in interview is what I have going on for work,

1148
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 1: what I'm doing with this and until I kind of

1149
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 1: feel like if I got married or something, I would,

1150
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 1: you know, post from that. But other than that. I'm like,

1151
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: everything feels like so much smoother without outside influences to me.

1152
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 5: No, absolutely, Like I just posted a picture and it

1153
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 5: made the whole world turn up side.

1154
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,400
Speaker 1: I saw that you posted with some guy and you

1155
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 1: were like, this is my man, and I said said that.

1156
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 4: I never said that. I didn't say anything. I didn't

1157
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 4: say anything, and everybody's like.

1158
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:03,359
Speaker 1: Going this you know what it is because you don't

1159
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 1: post anybody ever, Like finally you post somebody and everybody

1160
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 1: is just going to their speculatory.

1161
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

1162
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 2: It's just like like it's fucking Instagram. But it's true, Like,

1163
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 2: as a person in the entertainment business, my Instagram is

1164
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:21,879
Speaker 2: for a certain thing, you know what I'm saying, it's

1165
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 2: not for all of that. And it's like I just

1166
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 2: gave myself Like I'm telling you, I live in the matrix.

1167
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 2: I don't even like posting my kids and I'll take

1168
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 2: it off, but I don't even because I don't even

1169
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,279
Speaker 2: like posting my kids because this is social media.

1170
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: For one, because said that your man should not be

1171
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:44,439
Speaker 1: liking other pictures. No little I like that either, you know,

1172
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna be honest, like that's.

1173
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 4: Never choose to do that. I used to grab my gears.

1174
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:55,879
Speaker 3: I'm trying to give you all free because we got men.

1175
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 3: I know men, so I know what we're thinking. I

1176
00:50:58,440 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 3: know why we do things we do.

1177
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: I would I would see a random girl on my

1178
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 1: Explorer page and I would like, Oh, she's cute, let

1179
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 1: me see and I would look and then it'd be

1180
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 1: like my man in her life, and I'm just like

1181
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 1: and then I will look to see if he's following her,

1182
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: and it's like, he's not following her.

1183
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,399
Speaker 3: And then imagine if he ain't posting you, then he.

1184
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 2: Wasn't posting me. This is not this is not my

1185
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:16,360
Speaker 2: current relationship.

1186
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 4: This is good now.

1187
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 3: I'm saying though, for people that are going through it,

1188
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 3: they're heart in other women's pictures and then they the

1189
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:24,320
Speaker 3: women go to their page because they think they're attractive, want.

1190
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:27,800
Speaker 2: To talk to a guy who likes pictures like Chris.

1191
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 1: A lot of women like your posts, yeah right, And.

1192
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 3: I think a lot of men disagree because they don't

1193
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 3: want to hold themselves acount.

1194
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: And a lot of men do not like you.

1195
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:38,240
Speaker 3: No, but you'll be surprised if you go to my inbox,

1196
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 3: you'll see how many men like yo Chris, I really

1197
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 3: and it'd be a lot of I'm gonna start doing

1198
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 3: some podcasts with some men that are the mature men

1199
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 3: that really kind of relate to what I'm talking about.

1200
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 3: Men reach out like, Yo, Chris, I appreciate what you're saying.

1201
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 3: You're holding me accountable. Men that don't like, I'm not

1202
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 3: saying anything crazy. I'm not saying anything that's not that.

1203
00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 3: I don't feel like I'm saying anything that's outlandis. I'm

1204
00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 3: just speaking from a very traditional point.

1205
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 1: And I love it, Like and I've used your some

1206
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 1: of your content on my Way Up with Angela Ye's

1207
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 1: show at a certain time. I actually heard that, Yeah no,

1208
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 1: because I like that, Like I enjoy relationship talk and

1209
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 1: I like to hear. But you know, some men would

1210
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 1: be like, oh, he's just trying to kid it. You

1211
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 1: know what. So many men that are so negative towards women.

1212
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 1: There's so many men, in my personal opinion, are but

1213
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 1: hurt because they're first crushing third grade like Timmy instead

1214
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 1: of them, and they carry this on with them and

1215
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: they bash women and they put women down. And that's

1216
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 1: not the only reason. They have multiple reasons why they

1217
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,480
Speaker 1: feel like they're superior to women, and they have to

1218
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:37,839
Speaker 1: put women down in order to feel better about themselves.

1219
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 1: And I feel like you definitely don't give that. And

1220
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 1: those men who feel that way look at you like, oh,

1221
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:45,399
Speaker 1: you a sellout, or or you only saying it because

1222
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 1: you're trying to get the girls on your side.

1223
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 3: People don't realize. So, Derek Jackson, I was doing this.

1224
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 4: I was.

1225
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:54,280
Speaker 3: I was the card videos that you that you see

1226
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:56,360
Speaker 3: people doing with the relationship. If you go back to

1227
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 3: my Facebook, I started all that.

1228
00:52:58,640 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 2: That was me.

1229
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 3: Don't do that. The boy he kind of blew up.

1230
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 3: He kind of blew up before me and did his

1231
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 3: own thing. And I'm not trying to take any credit

1232
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:08,279
Speaker 3: from him. I don't know his situation. I don't, I don't,

1233
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:09,120
Speaker 3: I don't really care.

1234
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, but doing best something I've been very

1235
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 2: passionate about because this is something that my father and

1236
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 2: my mother spoke into me.

1237
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:20,880
Speaker 3: Yes it works, yes it does well, but that's not

1238
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:22,640
Speaker 3: the whole meaning behind this. I feel like this is

1239
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,879
Speaker 3: my purpose. This is what God wants me. God wants

1240
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 3: me to speak on healthy relationships. I feel like I

1241
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 3: have a niche, not just a niche for this, but

1242
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 3: a blessing to do this.

1243
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 4: But I want you to be to speak on it

1244
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:33,359
Speaker 4: or be an example of.

1245
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 3: All of it. How many negative messages out there? And

1246
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 3: I'm ready for the fire. People look at me crazy.

1247
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,440
Speaker 3: Oh he's a he's a simp. Oh he's a square.

1248
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:46,359
Speaker 4: I don't not care about Derek ja now.

1249
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 3: I mean, I.

1250
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,279
Speaker 4: Was going to bring it up, and I'm glad you did.

1251
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 3: I just kept.

1252
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 4: I was going to ask you, like, how did that?

1253
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 2: How did what he did being what you're doing and

1254
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,839
Speaker 2: it's similar, you know, and what happened with him? Because

1255
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie I was tight because I used

1256
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 2: to listen to that, like you know, I used to

1257
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:08,320
Speaker 2: listen to him.

1258
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 1: I never felt it though I feel it from you, right,

1259
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: but I never felt it did genuineness.

1260
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:16,320
Speaker 4: How did it affect your business?

1261
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 2: Because regardless you may be different, it is I feel him,

1262
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:21,720
Speaker 2: but it had to have some type of effect.

1263
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 3: I think this is not a bit like this is. Yes,

1264
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 3: I might build it and be successful, but I'm a businessman,

1265
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,479
Speaker 3: like I have properties, I have other investments. This isn't

1266
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 3: my main nich. This is the niche that I feel

1267
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 3: like God.

1268
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 4: It's more of a hind contial hustle.

1269
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. Like, I'm not here for

1270
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:37,759
Speaker 3: the for the glam. You're not gonna see me pull

1271
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 3: up in here with everything name. But that's not my style.

1272
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 3: I'm a very simple man. Like I'm very simple, I'm

1273
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 3: very traditional from a small town, and I will always

1274
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:48,760
Speaker 3: stick no matter where I go with this. I'm always

1275
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:50,800
Speaker 3: gonna stick to my values and you're gonna see that.

1276
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:52,640
Speaker 3: I'm never gonna change. I'm never gonna be any different.

1277
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 4: All right.

1278
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:54,879
Speaker 1: Well, that is the end a Part one of lip

1279
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:59,360
Speaker 1: Service with a Relationship Coach Chris GQ Perry answering questions

1280
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:03,320
Speaker 1: from myself, from Laura Mora, from gg McGuire, from Stephanie Santiago,

1281
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 1: and next week we'll have some more questions, plus we

1282
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:10,919
Speaker 1: will have some responses and answers to those questions from

1283
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 1: some guys. So y'all tune in for that, because you

1284
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 1: know what, we can't just hear one side of the story.

1285
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:19,439
Speaker 1: Lip Service Part two with Relationship Coach GQ Perry coming

1286
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: next week.