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Speaker 1: All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter life on the air, just like we're gonna read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. That's for you, Jay,

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Speaker 1: Buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject he assumed

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Speaker 1: I was stupid. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm thirty four years

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Speaker 1: old and I was dating a guy that's thirty two

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Speaker 1: years old, and we broke up because he said I

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Speaker 1: am not a team player. A week ago, he had

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Speaker 1: to put his car in the shop and he asked

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Speaker 1: if I could pick him up from the repair shop.

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Speaker 1: I went by to get him and he said his

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Speaker 1: car would be ready in a week. I had planned

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Speaker 1: to drop him off at home and go to dinner

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Speaker 1: with my coworker. I got to his house and went

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Speaker 1: in to use a bathroom. I noticed he was in

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Speaker 1: his closet and he had a suitcase on his bed.

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Speaker 1: I asked him if he was going somewhere, and he

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Speaker 1: said he would be staying at my house all week

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Speaker 1: until his car was fixed. That way, he wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: to rent a car or have me driving him around. Now,

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, I am a hard working, independent woman and

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Speaker 1: I always have been self sufficient and had my own

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Speaker 1: car and place to live. These men I'm meeting nowadays

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Speaker 1: think it's okay to lean on a woman for support

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Speaker 1: or have the woman go out of her way for them.

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Speaker 1: I was disappointed in him for assuming he could stay

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Speaker 1: at my house and he could use my car without

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Speaker 1: asking me first. I asked if his insurance policy covered

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Speaker 1: a rental car, and he said he didn't include it

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Speaker 1: in his policy because it would have raised his premium.

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Speaker 1: Here's the biggest issue I have with all of this.

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Speaker 1: If the roles were reversed, I could never assume I

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Speaker 1: am staying at his house and he wouldn't let me

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Speaker 1: drive his BMW for a week. Hell, he wouldn't even

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Speaker 1: offer to drop me off at work and pick me up.

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Speaker 1: After a heated discussion, I left him at his house

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Speaker 1: and went to dinner with my coworker. Later that night,

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Speaker 1: he broke up with me, and I was stunned. Am

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Speaker 1: I wrong to have such high standards. Well, I'll say this, No,

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Speaker 1: I don't think you're wrong to have standards, high standards, standards,

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Speaker 1: you know, Steve wrote a whole book about that very thing,

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Speaker 1: and act like a lady, think like a man. Standards

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Speaker 1: and requirements is what he called it, and it's where

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Speaker 1: a woman should you have certain expectations from her man.

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Speaker 1: Your man or X man is wrong. Yes, he is.

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Speaker 1: For assuming he could lay up on you without at

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Speaker 1: least asking you first. Communication is key here. You didn't

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Speaker 1: say in the letter how long you guys had been dating.

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Speaker 1: You just said you're thirty four and he's thirty two.

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Speaker 1: But obviously it wasn't long enough for you for him

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Speaker 1: to be asking you this. I don't think he was

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Speaker 1: right for you anyway, because, as you said, if the

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Speaker 1: roles were reversed, he wouldn't do the same for you,

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Speaker 1: and it sounded like you were pretty clear about that.

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Speaker 1: So why were you even stunned that he broke it

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Speaker 1: off with you when you said, no, I think he's

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Speaker 1: moved on, and I think you should move on as well. Steve,

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Speaker 1: this is an interesting letter because I find us some

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Speaker 1: problems in both of these the letter writer and the

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Speaker 1: guy and I'll share it with you. He assumed I

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Speaker 1: was stupid, Well that top topic of the letter. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure that he assumed you was stupid. I think

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Speaker 1: he assumed a bit much. And I'll show you what

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Speaker 1: I mean. Thirty four years old, you're dating a guy

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Speaker 1: is thirty two. We broke up because he said I'm

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Speaker 1: not a team player. Now, based on this letter, I

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Speaker 1: think he's right in saying you're not a team player.

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Speaker 1: But I also think he went about this the wrong way.

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Speaker 1: So I think there's wrong on both sides in this letter.

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Speaker 1: A week ago, he put his car in the shop

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Speaker 1: and he asked you if you could pick him up

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Speaker 1: from the repair shop. I went by to getting He

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Speaker 1: said his car would be ready in a week. I

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Speaker 1: planned to drop him off at home and go to

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Speaker 1: dinner with my coworkers. Okay, that's fair. I got to

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Speaker 1: his house and went to use the bathroom. I noticed

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Speaker 1: he was in his closet and they had a suitcase

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Speaker 1: on his bed. I asked him if he was going somewhere,

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Speaker 1: and he said he was gonna stay at my house

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Speaker 1: all week until the car was fixed. That way he

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have to rent a car or have me drive

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Speaker 1: him around. Now he's wrong right here because he assumed this.

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Speaker 1: He didn't have the courtesy or the decency to ask

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Speaker 1: this woman. So he was wrong, like two left shoes

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Speaker 1: for this now, Stephen Sherlo, I'm a hard working, independent woman.

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Speaker 1: I've always been self sufficient to have my own car

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Speaker 1: in the place to live. These men I'm meeting nowadays

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Speaker 1: think it's okay to lean on a woman's for my support.

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Speaker 1: I have a woman go out of her way for them.

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Speaker 1: Now we are dealing with the woman who has some

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Speaker 1: preconceived notions about men. She has put all men in

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Speaker 1: the same category, or at least all the men she's meeting.

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Speaker 1: So obviously she's been meeting a lot of men that

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Speaker 1: Monteline old women, and I understand her feeling that way,

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Speaker 1: but he was wrong for assuming this. But she just went, Okay,

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Speaker 1: here we go again, same old, same, Oh these dudes

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Speaker 1: I'm dating nine days, I all think this way. Then

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Speaker 1: she said, I was disappointed in him for assuming he

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Speaker 1: could stay at my house and he could use my

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Speaker 1: car without asking me first. He had absolutely no right

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Speaker 1: to assume. That's the problem in this letter. He assumed

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Speaker 1: something that obviously shouldn't have been taken for granted, so

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Speaker 1: he was wrong for that. Then she asked if his

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Speaker 1: insurance policy covered Wintram car, and then he said he

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Speaker 1: didn't include that in his policy because he would have

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Speaker 1: raised his premium. I don't know how much extra that is,

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Speaker 1: the rental car clause, and I don't know how much

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Speaker 1: that raises the premium. But I was always taught that

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Speaker 1: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,

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Speaker 1: and right now, a rental car is the pound of cure.

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Speaker 1: He would have saved himself some problems with that little

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Speaker 1: bit of money to just pay for that clause in

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Speaker 1: his insurance policy. Now, when I come back, I will

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Speaker 1: show you what's really wrong here, because she has some

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Speaker 1: notions about him not being able to do the same

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Speaker 1: thing my ship. When you come back. All right, thank you, Steve.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Subject for today's Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: he assumed I was stupid. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject he assumed I was stupid. Well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he assumed he was stupid, but

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Speaker 1: he was stupid for assuming in this latter he got

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Speaker 1: his car fixed. The woman she asked him to come

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Speaker 1: pick him up. Riding home, tolder that his car is

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Speaker 1: gonna be in the shop for a week. She had

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Speaker 1: plans of dropping the man off at home and going

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Speaker 1: to dinner with some co workers. She got to the

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Speaker 1: man's house and went to the bathroom. She came out

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Speaker 1: he had a suitcase house. She asked him man if

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Speaker 1: he was going somewhere. He said, I'm gonna come over

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Speaker 1: here and stay at your house for a week, so

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Speaker 1: I ain't got to rent no car and you ain't

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Speaker 1: got to run around picking me up. She was offended

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Speaker 1: because he assumed that he could come and stay at

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Speaker 1: her house, and she's absolutely correct. He should not have assumed.

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Speaker 1: He should have asked this woman, Hey, I was just thinking,

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Speaker 1: do you think it would be okay if I stayed

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Speaker 1: at your house? Because I don't have a car and

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Speaker 1: Mike needs something to look I hate to be a bother,

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Speaker 1: but you know, blah blah blah blah, it would have

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Speaker 1: sounded better, but you assumed. Then the woman turned around

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Speaker 1: and ask Kemp does his insurance policy covered at him.

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Speaker 1: He said he didn't put it in his policy because

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Speaker 1: he wanted to boost up the premiums. Well, now we

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Speaker 1: got a little bit of thing go on right here,

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Speaker 1: because the guy is dead wrong for assuming this. But

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Speaker 1: now she was disappointed in him for assuming he could

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Speaker 1: stay at his house and he could use my car

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Speaker 1: without asking me first. She's absolutely correct in this, But

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Speaker 1: now the dude, there was another part of Now I

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Speaker 1: wanted to show him, ask him if he goes anyway.

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Speaker 1: I might have missed that point, but anyway, she's a

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Speaker 1: hard working, independent woman. Here we go. This is the

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Speaker 1: part these men I'm meeting nowadays thinks okay to lean

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Speaker 1: on a woman for the support or have the woman

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Speaker 1: go out of her way for them. Um Man, that's

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Speaker 1: a bad look, fellas. And for her to be feeling

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Speaker 1: that way, obviously she's been dealing with just that in

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Speaker 1: her relationship and she probably thought to herself, okay, here

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Speaker 1: we go again. Dude was wrong and for assuming that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't on him Gulf insurance policy prements go up,

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Speaker 1: so he left that out. Then she says, here's the

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Speaker 1: biggest show I had with all this. If the roles

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Speaker 1: were reversed, I could never assume I'm staying at his house.

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Speaker 1: So oh whoa, yeah, so now you're dating a guy

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Speaker 1: and you said if the roles were reversed, I could

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Speaker 1: never assume I'm staying at his house. My question is,

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Speaker 1: and you know this, and you know this, and then

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't let me drive his BMW for a week.

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Speaker 1: Wait a minute, and you know this, and he wouldn't

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Speaker 1: even offer to drop me at work and pick me up.

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Speaker 1: Wait a minute, and you know this? What the hell

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Speaker 1: you dating this dude for? You're dating a dude who

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Speaker 1: won't get go out of his way for you at all,

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Speaker 1: and you know this. So after heated discussion, I left

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Speaker 1: him at the house and he went to dinner with

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Speaker 1: my co worker. Later that night, he broke up with me,

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Speaker 1: and I was stunned. Am I wrong for having such

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Speaker 1: high standards? Wait a minute, when I'm sorry, your standards

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Speaker 1: aren't high enough? Excuse me? Why are you stunned. Here's

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Speaker 1: a dude that would not offer to let you stay

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Speaker 1: at his house if your car broke down. Here's a

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Speaker 1: dude who would not let you drive his car if

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Speaker 1: your car broke down. And here's a dude who won't

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Speaker 1: pick you up and drop you off at work if

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Speaker 1: your car broke down. Now you stunned because you broke up?

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Speaker 1: What I was stunned that she was stunned? Right, I'm

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Speaker 1: stunned that this is who you're dating. YEA. Knowing all

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Speaker 1: that you know about this young man, you're still in it.

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Speaker 1: Here's y'all's problem. This must not be a serious relationship.

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Speaker 1: It can't be. And the two of you don't have

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Speaker 1: a clear definition of what you are. Because if this

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Speaker 1: is your man and you are his woman, all these

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Speaker 1: stuff y'all having problem within this letter seemed to me

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Speaker 1: would be automatic. If this is my woman, why would

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Speaker 1: I have a problem with her staying in my house

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Speaker 1: for me? If this is your man, why would you

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Speaker 1: have a problem with him staying at your house? This one?

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Speaker 1: But the real problem is he assumes some things about you,

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Speaker 1: and you know some things about him. He assumes he

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Speaker 1: should stay with you, drive your car, and you pick

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Speaker 1: him up and taking work. You know you couldn't stay

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Speaker 1: with him. You can't drive his car, and he've hit

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Speaker 1: to pick you. I'm dropping off. We don't have a

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Speaker 1: match here, yeah, because we don't have a relationship. So

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Speaker 1: you went out to dinner with your girlfriend. You came

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Speaker 1: back and your friend. Now he tell you he breaking

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Speaker 1: up with me because you're not a team layer. Well,

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Speaker 1: the problem is, ain't either one of y'all team players.

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Speaker 1: So what we're talking about him? You're not a team player.

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Speaker 1: He's not a team player. Don't neither one of y'all.

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Speaker 1: This ain't a team y'all got, y'all, they didn't got

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Speaker 1: a team team, So I don't know what to tell you. No,

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Speaker 1: you ain't got nothing here. Keep it moving, hell, y'all

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Speaker 1: while y'all seeing each other's rage, rage as relationship y'all got.

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Speaker 1: And you stunned because he broke up. Hell not he

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Speaker 1: stunned because you won't let him stay with him. But

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Speaker 1: he was wrong for assuming it's at least ask a

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Speaker 1: woman give her the courtesy. Yeah, but then the reason

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Speaker 1: you really ain't got no in the cause you didn't

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Speaker 1: want your premiums up flat flat. That's smart of life, lady,

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Speaker 1: y'all needed you need to say good riddence to this

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Speaker 1: and calling about your business. All right, you're right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Thank you post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter. It's

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand, coming up at forty six

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Speaker 1: minutes after the hour of Sports Talk with Junior. Right

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Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show