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Speaker 1: This is Teddy Teapot. Hi, guys, I am so happy

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Speaker 1: to be back here with y'all on Teddy Teapot. Give

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Speaker 1: me something a little, you know. With everything that's been

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Speaker 1: going on, it's just such a crazy time and I'm

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Speaker 1: so happy to be here with my friend Tanya. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for joining me. Who thanks for having me. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I can't imagine doing a podcast, my first

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Speaker 1: one back after baby, without like someone I know and

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Speaker 1: trust and care about, and so of course I thought

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Speaker 1: of you. Oh that makes me feel very happy. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate it. I am honored to be your h co

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Speaker 1: host today for your first podcast back post baby, and

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Speaker 1: for anybody that doesn't know, which of course everybody knows,

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Speaker 1: but in case they can't, where do people find you?

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Speaker 1: And can you get tell them a little bit about you?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're so funny. My name is Tanya

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Speaker 1: rad and you can find me at Tanya Read on

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Speaker 1: the Morning Show on the Morning Show a Kiss FM

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Speaker 1: on air of the Rhine Seacrest And then I do

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Speaker 1: the podcast Scrubbing In with Bectillian Tan your Red, which

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Speaker 1: you have been a guest on and that episode was

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Speaker 1: one of my favorites by the way, that was what

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Speaker 1: you guys have to go listen to Tanya's It's It's

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Speaker 1: a tongue twister, but Tanya's tampon show so funny. Actually've

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Speaker 1: been on the podcast multiple times, so that that was

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Speaker 1: your latest, uh the latest time that you were on.

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Speaker 1: But that was so funny. That was one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite episodes. That was so much fun and still unbelievable

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Speaker 1: and like, I'm I'm really hoping that my daughters have

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Speaker 1: quite some time before I have to deal with any

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Speaker 1: pools and tampons and whatnot. I mean, it's it's aroun

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Speaker 1: the corner teddy and just saying, I mean, at this

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Speaker 1: right now that we've got four kids, life is just

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Speaker 1: complete craziness. Tell us all about out like the story,

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Speaker 1: like where where did we leave you? What was happening?

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Speaker 1: And where are you now? Okay, so we left off

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Speaker 1: and I was like a couple of weeks before having

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Speaker 1: the baby, but it ended up being about a week

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Speaker 1: and a half, like after my last I had the

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Speaker 1: baby February UM and essentially like Pisces baby Pisces. People

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Speaker 1: say that's good. I don't know much about Pisces. Pisces

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Speaker 1: are good, You're that's a good yeah, oh good, alright,

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Speaker 1: So dumps of pisces um. The morning I had her,

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Speaker 1: like it was, you know, business as usual. Um, I

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Speaker 1: like went and did a I like did a spin

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Speaker 1: at my house and then like Edwin and I went

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Speaker 1: to the hospital, Like everything was great. The delivery like

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Speaker 1: was my easiest delivery so far. And when people say

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Speaker 1: easy deliveries, it's super annoying, so I get it, but

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Speaker 1: like it really was, comparatively speaking, a super easy delivery,

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Speaker 1: and um, I was super like blessed that this all

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Speaker 1: happened before like coronavirus start. Everything started changing and like

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Speaker 1: Edwin was able to be in the room with me,

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Speaker 1: I was able to have visitors, like because all of

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Speaker 1: that shifted about after how long was your how long

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Speaker 1: was your what's the word I'm searching for, Like how

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Speaker 1: long was I in labor? Labor? Labor, labor labor? Um?

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Speaker 1: I was in labor. So I went in at like

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Speaker 1: ten am and I had her at like five. So

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Speaker 1: but at the same thing happens like my doctor will

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Speaker 1: like come and check me and he'll be like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you got some time, and then he'll leave the hospital

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Speaker 1: and then I am not kidding. Within like twenty minutes

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Speaker 1: of him leaving, I'm like in full blown labor, waiting

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Speaker 1: on him, like they have to bring somebody in to

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Speaker 1: be like, hey, um, I'm gonna be stepping in for

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say my doctor nay, but for blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah until you know you really have to go

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Speaker 1: because you're dilated at ten. And then I'm not kidding.

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Speaker 1: After after the after finally gets there, and I always

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Speaker 1: tease him because he's like super funny and casual and

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Speaker 1: he walks and he's like, EdWay, and you want to

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Speaker 1: help me to do the baby this time, And I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: we are doing this now, Like what do you mean?

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Speaker 1: He puts Edwin and scrubs. He's like showing him the

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Speaker 1: doctor way to put it on. They're like doing the

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Speaker 1: hands scrubbing. I'm like, now is not the time, gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm like like ready to go, right, wait, ten

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Speaker 1: centimeters dially? Do is I mean like you can fit

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Speaker 1: ten fingers in your vagina? Well? I didn't check. I

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Speaker 1: don't actually really I feel like nobody knows. It's just

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Speaker 1: like one of the things that they say I don't

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Speaker 1: actually know. But now that I'm thinking how many ten

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Speaker 1: fingers are and like measuring my fingers. It's frightening, but

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Speaker 1: like I know that they can feel the head in there,

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Speaker 1: and like all kinds you know, oh yeah, so um,

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Speaker 1: Edwin's like pretending he's gonna like be delivering dub and

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Speaker 1: I'm like panicked because I can just one is like

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Speaker 1: a squeamish guy anyway, and like the last time, like no,

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Speaker 1: so anyways, I start to have her. He's there like

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Speaker 1: in the position like he's going to fully deliver, and

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Speaker 1: then as soon as her head fully starts coming out,

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Speaker 1: he's like, no, doctor, no, doctor, I can't do it.

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Speaker 1: And they rotate places and so as of like having her,

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at him. I'm like, I told you I

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Speaker 1: was going to happen. I know, So you wasted all

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Speaker 1: those minutes. And the doctors like Teddy just focus and

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Speaker 1: push and I had forgotten how to push the right way.

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Speaker 1: You wouldn't know that. That was like I felt like, I,

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Speaker 1: you know, I've had two kids. I don't need to

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Speaker 1: do a refresher, but apparently I do. The doctor let

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Speaker 1: me get through the first set of pushing and then

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Speaker 1: he goes Um Teddy you're not supposed to blow the

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Speaker 1: air out like you forgot. And I'm like, you could

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Speaker 1: have reminded me, and he's like, right now you have

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Speaker 1: to push again, and then the second round to push

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Speaker 1: it like she was out and so then so she

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Speaker 1: she was born at five pm. And then did you

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Speaker 1: guys go home the next day? No, not at all.

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Speaker 1: So we we were there. I was having some I

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Speaker 1: might get a little emotional about. I was having some issues.

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Speaker 1: Right after I had her, everything was great. She latched

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Speaker 1: on perfectly, and like, you know, I was so excited

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Speaker 1: because crews had an issue latching because he was in

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Speaker 1: the nick you and so I was like so grateful,

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Speaker 1: and Tanya, latching is like latching onto my breath, latching

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Speaker 1: onto your nipple. I I'm aware I do not have children,

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Speaker 1: but I am aware of some of the leader. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well I don't know. You asked me ten centimeters is

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Speaker 1: tin fingers? I'm like, how much do I need to get?

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Speaker 1: So but I appreciate it. So, you know, the first day,

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Speaker 1: everything was going great and you know, she was latching

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Speaker 1: why we were in our own room. Everything was smooth

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Speaker 1: and she's happy, healthy and happy, and then um, day

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Speaker 1: two she started getting um like fussier, and that's when

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Speaker 1: we started realizing that like something was going um on

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Speaker 1: with like my colostrum, so um right after you know,

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Speaker 1: when your milk doesn't come in for a couple of days,

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Speaker 1: but your colostrums, like they call it like the liquid

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Speaker 1: gold for which is like for your baby. And um,

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Speaker 1: I was able to get a little bit of clustrum

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Speaker 1: out of my right out of one side, but nothing

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Speaker 1: out of the other. And so we didn't necessary we

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Speaker 1: didn't really know what was going on. So we had

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Speaker 1: like a lactation specialists come and all these doctors come

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Speaker 1: in and they start pumping like they used like an

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Speaker 1: industrial size pump and like so much. And what ended

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Speaker 1: up happening was that my um my boobs or my

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Speaker 1: breast essentially got so engorged and the milk came in

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Speaker 1: and everything was happening, but no milk could come out

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Speaker 1: because I had gotten my boobs done after Slate and Cruise,

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Speaker 1: and I had absolutely no idea that this would affect anything,

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Speaker 1: because I've had other friends that have gotten their boobs

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Speaker 1: done and they were totally able to breastfeed. But I got, wait,

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Speaker 1: do something, does something happen? And when you get your

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Speaker 1: boobs done, do they like close some sort of hole

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Speaker 1: that the milk comes out of. I guess because I

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Speaker 1: and you know, this is all things I learned after

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Speaker 1: the fact, and after like honestly over a week of

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Speaker 1: like doctor's appointments and lactation appointments and then actually going

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Speaker 1: to talk to my plastic surgeon like everything, because we

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Speaker 1: were still trying. I was still trying to breastfeed. I

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Speaker 1: was still latching her on and eventually coming out. The

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Speaker 1: milk wasn't coming out, But I guess because when I

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Speaker 1: got my boobs done, I had a nipple reconstruction, like

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Speaker 1: and they went in through that area. So what happened

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Speaker 1: is the milk came in, but no place for it

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Speaker 1: to come out because all of like the nerve endings

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Speaker 1: and everything had been switched and like you like making

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Speaker 1: me so sweaty. I mean, I it was painful. Was

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Speaker 1: it painful? Oh, I'll send you a picture. It was unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: I Mean there was a point in time where because

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know, there's something about like right

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Speaker 1: after you have a baby, like this craziness goes into

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Speaker 1: your head where're like I have to breastfeed, like, well,

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Speaker 1: at least for me, I can't speak. Anything I'm sharing

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Speaker 1: here you guys is like my personal experience and having kids.

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Speaker 1: So don't take this as you know, the mom shaming

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Speaker 1: can be like brutal over this kind of thing. So

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Speaker 1: I've already shamed myself enough. So I, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: we're pumping, We're doing everything we can, We're trying to latch.

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Speaker 1: She's getting upset, and you know, finally after a couple

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Speaker 1: of days, like Edwin's like what Teddy, Like, enough is enough?

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Speaker 1: Like the doctors told you that it's not gonna happen,

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Speaker 1: And it honestly was making me like so upset. I

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Speaker 1: had like friends coming to visit me in the hospital,

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Speaker 1: and I was like crying to them because I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I really wanted to breastfeed. I feel so

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Speaker 1: like there was a part of me that like felt

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Speaker 1: like so selfish that I ever even like got my

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Speaker 1: boobs done, you know, because like I I never I

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Speaker 1: never one. I never thought I was going to be

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Speaker 1: able to have another baby, but to like I had

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Speaker 1: no idea it was going to affect anything, and um,

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Speaker 1: so that was like so that was like a little

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Speaker 1: rough because you know, they're way worse problems, you know,

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Speaker 1: but but it's like sometimes it's like you you take it,

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Speaker 1: you like, why did I do that? Like yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: like like why not necessary? You know, Like I went

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Speaker 1: to all these places, and you know, it was finally

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Speaker 1: my husband that was like like came and gave me

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Speaker 1: a hug, and like, I mean, I'm not kidding. My

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Speaker 1: boobs were bigger than watermelons, hard as rocks, Like I

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Speaker 1: was starting to get infections and he was just like Teddy, please, honey,

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Speaker 1: just stop, like you know, and I said, but I

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Speaker 1: got those couple drops out of the one side, like

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Speaker 1: that should be you know, maybe it'll switch. And he's like, honey,

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Speaker 1: now they're going to have to start you on antibiotics.

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Speaker 1: You're getting you're making yourself sick um. And so then

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Speaker 1: I had to make the decision like you know, obviously

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do the feed my baby. So like

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Speaker 1: then I switched to formula, and you know, everything got

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Speaker 1: a lot more smooth. But it just, you know, I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's something I really didn't even take into

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Speaker 1: account when I got my boobs done, Like I you know,

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Speaker 1: one didn't think I was going to have another. But two,

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Speaker 1: I was like I had so many friends, so like

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Speaker 1: my thing is like I've just really had to work

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Speaker 1: on giving myself some grace and saying like obviously you

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Speaker 1: did everything you could do and you have a healthy,

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Speaker 1: happy baby and you know I you know, essentially like

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Speaker 1: I had to gear up to like tell my family

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Speaker 1: and tell Edwin's family, and nobody was upset and nobody,

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Speaker 1: you know, judged me or anything. Like everybody's like Teddy,

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Speaker 1: you know, like you didn't know anything. But it's like

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Speaker 1: there's already that shame that people like put on you

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Speaker 1: when you don't breastfeed your child, and then for you

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Speaker 1: to say it was because I got my boobs done,

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Speaker 1: it's just like double that and it sucks. It's like,

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Speaker 1: so that's so crappy that you even have to think

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Speaker 1: that way, you know what I mean. And it's like

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Speaker 1: you're already battling yourself internally and then to have to

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Speaker 1: think about that, it's just yeah, and it just it totally.

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Speaker 1: And it was just like that moment where it just

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Speaker 1: felt like it wouldn't end. Like I was like, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna figure this out. It's gonna figure it out. Tomorrow

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Speaker 1: is going to be the day. Tomorrow is gonna be

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Speaker 1: the day, and it just, you know, the fact that

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Speaker 1: it didn't happen, it just made me really sad. But

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Speaker 1: now I've kind of come to the point where like

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Speaker 1: maybe there's a reason for it, you know, in the

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Speaker 1: long run, like she um, we had to you know,

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Speaker 1: there was trying a bunch of different formulas to see

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Speaker 1: which work worked for her and made her stomach feel

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Speaker 1: the best, and like, you know, she's super happy and

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Speaker 1: healthy baby, and I just have to remember that that's

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Speaker 1: what's most important. That I'm able to feed my baby,

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Speaker 1: that she is healthy, that she is happy, and that's

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Speaker 1: what I really have to focus on, because I mean

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Speaker 1: it was hard in the hospital because there's also a

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Speaker 1: huge breastfeeding initiative, so like open you know, the lactation consultants,

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Speaker 1: they're double down and you know, on you and like

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Speaker 1: I just was in the hotel in the hospital room

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Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, just like with the pump,

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Speaker 1: just trying trying, trying to get anything out and not

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Speaker 1: even a drop and just watching not one bit come out,

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Speaker 1: and you're just like I know that that Edwin stepped

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Speaker 1: in was just like Teddy, like I love I've told

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Speaker 1: you this so many times. I love your relationship with

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Speaker 1: your husband so much because I think that you guys

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Speaker 1: really balance each other out. And he like, I love

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Speaker 1: you to death, but like you can be very were

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Speaker 1: very similar in the sense that like we'ld be very

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Speaker 1: determined or like you know what I mean, just hard

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Speaker 1: on ourselves and he's just always there to be like, babe,

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Speaker 1: like you did the best that you could. You know,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, I just I love your relationship

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Speaker 1: so much, so I'm that made me really happy. When

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Speaker 1: you said that, thank you. I was like glad that

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Speaker 1: he like saw it too. It wasn't a moment like

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Speaker 1: where he was out of the room, but like when

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Speaker 1: they was like just relentless, relentless, and he was just like,

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Speaker 1: you know, it is what it is, honey. You have

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Speaker 1: a healthy, happy baby, Like that is amazing, Like we

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Speaker 1: had a miracle baby the last time you had to

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Speaker 1: do multiple rounds of IVF and this time you're thirty

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Speaker 1: eight years old and you've got pregnant naturally, Like this

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Speaker 1: is a miracle. Like we've got to focus on that.

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Speaker 1: And you know, ever ever since, like I've had days

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Speaker 1: where like you know, this is the first I've I've

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Speaker 1: spoken about it publicly at all because people can be

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Speaker 1: so brutal. Oh, people are the worst. Like I'm scared

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Speaker 1: to even show her with a bottle because people will

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Speaker 1: be like, why are you? What's wrong with you? And

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Speaker 1: then you have to feel like you have to justify

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Speaker 1: yourself to other people, and it's just, uh, so there's

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Speaker 1: that I can't honestly, I cannot even imagine. I feel

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Speaker 1: like the mom shaming is on like a whole another

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Speaker 1: level because I get it in like my dating life

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Speaker 1: and that's like so minimal compared to like the amount

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Speaker 1: of things that moms can get shamed for. It's crazy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So it's like I feel like almost better than I

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Speaker 1: was able to share it with you. But I also

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Speaker 1: like I'm already in a full sweat panicking of like

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Speaker 1: the aftermath of after this has been heard and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna let the mom shaming hate mail come in, which

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Speaker 1: is like really something that like whether it's dating shame,

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Speaker 1: mom shame, whatever, the shaming is, like, I don't get it, Like,

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Speaker 1: have you ever in your life Tonya felt the need

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Speaker 1: to reach out to a stranger and say something making

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Speaker 1: to them No, and what I don't understand too. Is

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Speaker 1: it's like, like, obviously you wanted to breastfeed your daughter,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like your intention was there.

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Speaker 1: You were not physically able to do that because you

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Speaker 1: got your boobs done, and that's your choice, do you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like that's something that you wanted

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Speaker 1: to do for yourself, and like that's you're allowed to

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Speaker 1: do that, you know what I mean to your life?

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Speaker 1: And had I known, I wouldn't have you know, like totally,

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Speaker 1: had they been like, hey, guess what, you might not

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Speaker 1: be able to do this, you probably would have been like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: hell no, I know you you're like a sense of person.

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Speaker 1: You're like you wouldn't I know for a fact that

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Speaker 1: they said that that was an option. You'd be like

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Speaker 1: I'm good. Yeah, like I'm good, even if there was

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Speaker 1: a small chap. Also, if I would have thought that

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Speaker 1: I could have got pregnant without you know, I v F,

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Speaker 1: I would have been like, well, you know, maybe it's

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Speaker 1: something to consider. But you know, all that being said,

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Speaker 1: you know, we're healthy, we're good. So I had an

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Speaker 1: easy delivery, I have a healthy baby. You know. Until

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Speaker 1: all of this, like social distancing and corona and everything started,

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Speaker 1: and we're like in a full another world. I know,

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Speaker 1: now you're your four children from the age twelve to

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Speaker 1: six six weeks. I have my stepdaughter Isabella, then their

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Speaker 1: slate and Crews, and then now Dove, and like the

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Speaker 1: other kids are old enough now where like they think

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Speaker 1: that she's like her their baby, so they want to

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Speaker 1: do everything, but like she's still a newborn, so it's

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Speaker 1: like there's that thin line that you want to be

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Speaker 1: able to like encourage the kids to help you. But

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Speaker 1: then like my son's like, let's let me take a

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Speaker 1: bath with her, and I'm like, he's like, can I

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Speaker 1: give her this to eat? It's my favorite yogurt. I'm like, no, wait,

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Speaker 1: does your stepdaughters she with you guys full time? She's

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Speaker 1: with us well, in the summer, it's two weeks on,

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Speaker 1: two weeks off, and then um during the school year,

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Speaker 1: she's normally with us every other weekend. But now there's

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Speaker 1: no school, so now we we've been having her more.

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Speaker 1: Got I got I got it? Yeah, so our kids

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Speaker 1: are in like week three, I think of homeschooling, so

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Speaker 1: it's like virtue and I can't do first grade math,

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Speaker 1: and I'm being really honest with it, Like I don't

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00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,359
Speaker 1: know what this new math is that they teach, but

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00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,240
Speaker 1: it is brutal. What is it you do? Like don't

336
00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 1: carry numbers? It has like a special name. It's whole

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00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 1: new level of math. I've been watching YouTube's. I'm like

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00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,359
Speaker 1: blocking it out for like finally I had to ask

339
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Speaker 1: the teacher. I'm like, can we do a zoom call

340
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,359
Speaker 1: where like you explain it once and then sl takes

341
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Speaker 1: it from here because I can't do this. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be able to do it either. There's no chance. I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't even there's no way. And then you have

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Speaker 1: to feel that that and then I have to be like, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm a good speller, just so you know, slight, just

346
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 1: so you know I am. I do have right, just

347
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Speaker 1: wait till you get to history class. I can really

348
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,000
Speaker 1: help you out there, but math is going to be

349
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Speaker 1: a no for me. Yeah. So, I mean it's like

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00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,880
Speaker 1: coming up with it. Like I'm sure you're the same

351
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,919
Speaker 1: way with work and the radio show and everything. You

352
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 1: have to like kind of schedule your day. But at

353
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Speaker 1: some point, like my schedule goes like out the door

354
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Speaker 1: because there's four kids. I can't I literally cannot even imagine.

355
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Speaker 1: I can't. I really can't, because I'm like dealing with um.

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Speaker 1: For me, I think that the thing that's been so

357
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,840
Speaker 1: hard is like I feed off of other people's energy,

358
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Speaker 1: and since I don't have that right now, it's like

359
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 1: a really weird thing. I think everybody has kind of

360
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,320
Speaker 1: had this like a cloud of like anxiety and it's

361
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 1: just like this really weird feeling, you know. And so

362
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,560
Speaker 1: I'm like trying to do everything I can to bring

363
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Speaker 1: like the normalcy or like the routine back in my life.

364
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,199
Speaker 1: I'm actually going to start all in on Monday. I know.

365
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,720
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you back. I've missed you.

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00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 1: I like, you know those whenever I'm like whenever you're texting,

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Speaker 1: I'm always like, yeah, I've got room, even though I've

368
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 1: been like fill it up, not for I know, you

369
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 1: always have like a waiting list of like weeks. You're like, Okay,

370
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 1: if anybody wants to start the program in ape or

371
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,480
Speaker 1: what is I guess it is April, May or June,

372
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,399
Speaker 1: and we have slots open. So and I texted you,

373
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Speaker 1: I was like, can I do it next week? I

374
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 1: was like really hoping for a friend card right there,

375
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 1: with that one because I think it's gonna help me

376
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Speaker 1: bring back the like the structure and the routine and

377
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Speaker 1: like just I don't know, kind of give me a

378
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: little bit, like reel me back into that headspace that

379
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 1: I think I like really thrive in. No, I mean,

380
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 1: and I was telling you, but I haven't. I guess

381
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 1: I haven't told our listeners yet. But I had to

382
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 1: actually go through the program myself, like a version, because

383
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 1: after I had Dov and then all of a sudden,

384
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 1: we're in our homes, I was like, go going to

385
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:16,920
Speaker 1: snack every time I felt uneasy and like unnecessary snacking

386
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 1: or unnecessary alcohol like and I was I was realizing,

387
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 1: like I'm using this to cope, not because I'm actually hungry,

388
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 1: and I need to nip this in the butt, like

389
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:32,080
Speaker 1: before it spirals back to where I was, you know,

390
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 1: five years ago. It's interesting that you bring this up

391
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 1: because the other day I posted something I did this

392
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 1: like hack for on Earth Ran Seacrest. It was like

393
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 1: how to um Like a girlfriend of mine told me

394
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 1: she's like she packs her breakfast and lunch the night before,

395
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,919
Speaker 1: like she was if she was going to work, so

396
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,680
Speaker 1: that she stops like just going randomly into the kitchen

397
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,879
Speaker 1: and doing all that kind of stuff. And so I

398
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,400
Speaker 1: posted that like tip, and I got like i'd say,

399
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 1: like the feedback was like this is such a great idea,

400
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,879
Speaker 1: but there's always those few that trickle in, you know,

401
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 1: that are just like you should not be shaming people

402
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: if they want to eat a little extra, if you're

403
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,920
Speaker 1: gonna gain weight during this quarantine, like whatever people need

404
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 1: to use to cope, blah blah. And I responded to

405
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 1: each and every one of them, and I actually got

406
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,439
Speaker 1: a bunch of responses back, like apologizing, saying like, you

407
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: know what, you're absolutely right, And because I kept saying,

408
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not about the weight. It's not

409
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 1: about the number. It's about what it's like mentally. It's

410
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 1: like giving me this structure for me what I eat

411
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,639
Speaker 1: when I put my body is like it all just

412
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: kind of it's all one situation here. It's not about that.

413
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 1: And so it's like a very like um thoughtful response.

414
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: And then like I kept then they responded to like, oh,

415
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 1: you know what, like you're totally right, and I can

416
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 1: see that, and so I have no problem saying that

417
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 1: because it's like I do. It's I think whatever you

418
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 1: need to do right now, especially this time to cope.

419
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 1: It's like, do it whatever you need to do. But

420
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,119
Speaker 1: for me, I need the structure. I need the like

421
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: I need it. Yeah, I mean I think it's to

422
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: eat each his own. And that's why why you know,

423
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 1: people will say the same thing to me, like, oh,

424
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 1: you shouldn't focus on that, And I'm like, here's my focus,

425
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 1: feeling my absolute best that I can in this time.

426
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 1: And if I'm not doing that, and if I'm not

427
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 1: setting myself up to feel my best, then I'm gonna

428
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 1: be at my worst. So whatever that means to you,

429
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: that's what's important. But for me, that means I have

430
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 1: to be moving my body. I have to do something

431
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 1: active every day. I have to have like some interaction

432
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,639
Speaker 1: with others. So like even this even talking to you

433
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: right now, like it's filling up my tank. Um. I

434
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 1: have to know that I'm eating healthy foods to fuel

435
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 1: my body, because when I eat a bunch of junk food,

436
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 1: I'm lethargic, I'm unable to get stuff done, and it

437
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 1: just puts me in a different mind space. So those

438
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: are the tools I know I have to follow. Those

439
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 1: may not be yours, but most of the time, the

440
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 1: people that get angry and reach out, so you shouldn't

441
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,959
Speaker 1: shame are the ones that want to make those changes

442
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: but aren't ready yet. Yeah, so it's like, you know,

443
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 1: you just kind of have to take it and know, like,

444
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 1: you know, we're all where we're we all are doing

445
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 1: the best we can, and that is okay. Some days,

446
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 1: some days were disasters and some days were great. Totally totally,

447
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: but I'm bad. I'm ready to be back. I'm happy

448
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: to be in daily communication with you again. I'm we're

449
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: excited about that. Oh yeah, Monday is a big day

450
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: for us. I'm like, well, you're always so positive to like,

451
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,439
Speaker 1: I love you know, I love working with people that

452
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 1: start the day regardless of what's going on, you have

453
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 1: a kindness to you and I think that's so important.

454
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: You know, you have a kindness and a light, and

455
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 1: when you have those things, it's like such an amazing

456
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: experience to coach somebody that's like that, because you're I

457
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: don't even know how to put it into but I

458
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: don't know. I know, I know exactly what you mean

459
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,919
Speaker 1: because I feel it on the other end, like I

460
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 1: feel it like as you're I don't know a student.

461
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would call myself, um, but

462
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: I feel it on the other end because I think

463
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: it is tough. It's it's not an easy program for sure.

464
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 1: So it is like it's it's there are moments where

465
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 1: you're just like, but I feel like this love and

466
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: you feel like you're all in it together, and I

467
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 1: don't know this, this is weird. It's like a sense

468
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 1: of community that I'm like obviously lacking right now. So yeah,

469
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 1: it's not hard, I'm like, and you know, and and

470
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 1: it's it's comfort knowing that you're not I mean, we

471
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 1: are not in this alone, no matter what it is,

472
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 1: no matter if it's all it, no matter if it's

473
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 1: your happy hour with your girlfriends that you have or

474
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 1: whatever it is. I think so many of us feel like,

475
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: you know, when you start to feel alone and then

476
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 1: instead of taking action, you just become more and more alone,

477
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 1: Like you just distance yourself even more. Because it's so

478
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: hard sometimes to say, like, you know, it was probably

479
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 1: you probably thought about sending that text for a couple

480
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 1: of days before you actually sent it, you know, like

481
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's hard to take action. So even

482
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,120
Speaker 1: if it's journaling or whatever it may be to make

483
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 1: you feel better, like just putting your feelings out there

484
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: to remember this time. I mean, that's even what I've

485
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 1: been saying to my kids, Like because my kids, like

486
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 1: my daughter is doing an online play right now because

487
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,639
Speaker 1: the place she normally does, they're they've canceled. How do

488
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: they do that? Do you do it for three hours

489
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,919
Speaker 1: on Tuesdays? I'm like, God bless her that she can

490
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 1: sit there and do this or three hours over like

491
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 1: that's actually nice for you. Uh yeah, I'm like, oh

492
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 1: my goodness, But like they are missing out on so

493
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: many things that they are that they're used to. But

494
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 1: then I put all this pressure on myself like gosh,

495
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,400
Speaker 1: you know, normally I have them so so many activities,

496
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 1: and we were doing so many things and we're having

497
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: so much fun. And then I actually asked my kids

498
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 1: the other day like how are you doing, and they

499
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: were like, my daughter's slate goes. Mom, I have actually

500
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 1: been loving this time. We've had so much together time.

501
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I was like, I'm putting

502
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 1: all this pressure on myself and my kids are happy,

503
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 1: So like what am I doing? Why am I putting this? Like?

504
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: Why am I adding this extra pressure like our kids.

505
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 1: And also like at the end of the day too,

506
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: it's like if they get a little behind on their schoolwork,

507
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 1: like it's fine, we all ended up fine. I don't

508
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: remember what I did in first grade, like you know, yeah,

509
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 1: and I think I've also learned, like and this will

510
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 1: go the same, Like we also need to talk about

511
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 1: your boyfriend by the way, who uh yeah, well we'll

512
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: get into that in one second. But um, there's you know,

513
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: so much of this that's been going on right now,

514
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 1: like with the kids with everything. At first, like I

515
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: was bawled up and like not wanting to talk about

516
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 1: it with them, you know, like only giving them the

517
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,640
Speaker 1: information that like I felt like was completely like kid proof.

518
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 1: And then I realized, like I can have a real

519
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 1: conversation with them, Like the other morning, like I was like, sorry,

520
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 1: if mom seems like a little bit um stressed, I

521
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: am a little stressed today. I have a lot of

522
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: press I need to do, you know, for the show

523
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: because it shows about to start airing on April fifteenth,

524
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,439
Speaker 1: And with that, you know, and not being able to

525
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 1: like I'm doing them on my computer with you guys

526
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: all here. I've just been feeling stressed, So sorry if

527
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 1: you're feeling that way, and like Slate like it was

528
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: like thanks, Mom, andreis like no problem, Mom, you don't

529
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 1: even seem stress, you know, Like but just talking to them,

530
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: talking to the people in your life and telling them

531
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,439
Speaker 1: what you need or how you're feeling, it's such a

532
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: game changer. Yeah, I was gonna ask you do you

533
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: tell them like do they know what's going on? Like,

534
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously they know what's going on, but like

535
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 1: do you share the news with them or like how

536
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 1: much do you tell them about all this? I don't,

537
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't feel like it was healthy for

538
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 1: me even to keep the news on and constantly listen

539
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: like I was spiraling. So I'm more of like tell

540
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 1: me what I need to know and I'll do I'm

541
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: you know, we really talked about like the importance of

542
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: like washing your hands and you know those types of things.

543
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: They their school has done a nice job of just

544
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 1: like explaining coronavirus to them, um and you know the

545
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 1: importance of like staying home and all of that. But

546
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: other than that, no, Like I think there was one

547
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 1: day where we had the news on quite a bit

548
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 1: and UM crews actually like said to my husband, like

549
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: can we change the channel? Dad, Like this is kind

550
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: of making me sad because it's just you know, it's yeah,

551
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,679
Speaker 1: it's better just to have a for me to have

552
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: a candid conversation with them and just say like where

553
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 1: we are, but like also set up their expectations, like, guys,

554
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 1: there's a chance we won't be going back to school

555
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: this year, like just giving you a heads up, like

556
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: there is a chance. We don't know. You know, it's

557
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: day to day, but I just want you guys to

558
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: manage kind of your expectations. And it's you know, um

559
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 1: right there not going back to school. Of usually announced

560
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: it at our school, they're saying at the end of

561
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 1: you know, these four weeks, then you know, but everything

562
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: is different, and then you know you're on are I

563
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 1: assume are you on all these group texts where like

564
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 1: everybody's sending information and sometimes I'm like, don't tell me this.

565
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: I don't I think like that, like honestly that like really,

566
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: um so it was kind of nuts because I feel

567
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: so grateful that I do get to be able to

568
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,479
Speaker 1: have a job that I can do from home, you know,

569
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 1: like I'm very grateful especially with all like I keep

570
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: reading about all these layoffs and furloughs, and you know,

571
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: people's businesses are are failing, and it's like it's really

572
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 1: really a sad, sad time, and so I'm like so

573
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: grateful for the fact that I can do this. Um,

574
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: but I think I got to this point where it

575
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: was like I would get up the second I woke up,

576
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: I'd come out here, I'd look on the screen. We

577
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: would do the radio show to like eleven or whatever.

578
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: Then we would have a meeting, and then I would

579
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: have conference calls all day, and then we'd have another

580
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: group meeting at like five, and before I know it,

581
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: like Son's going down. I hadn't left my house, I

582
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: hadn't seen anything but a screen, and I think it

583
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 1: was really starting to like, um, it's been like more

584
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: of a mental thing for me to kind of like

585
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: go through all this, you know, like I wasn't sure

586
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: how to Like I didn't step outside once the whole

587
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: day and and I love like being outside, and you know,

588
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 1: so it's kind of like trying to figure out. I

589
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 1: think the first like two weeks it was just trying

590
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 1: to figure out this new normal and like how to

591
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: adjust and kind of make sure that my mind wasn't

592
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: like because I never really I'm not a big I

593
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: never really suffered from anxiety before, and I'm I'm feeling

594
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 1: a lot of it now lately, and so it's just

595
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 1: kind of like navigating all that and just trying to

596
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: like be verbal about it and just kind of expressing

597
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 1: how I'm feeling and just know because it's like for me,

598
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: I'm such a positive person and I like, you know,

599
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: I try to look at the glass half fool all

600
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: the time, and sometimes I think it's important to just

601
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: be like, no, I'm having a crappy day and that's okay,

602
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try I'm gonna be better tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, tomorrow.

603
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 1: And I've realized with everybody I've really talked to, that's

604
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 1: kind of how they're feeling because we don't have control

605
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: over anything right now. So it's like I feel like

606
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: I'm constantly like you don't want to let people down.

607
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: So it's like with work, I'm trying to do as

608
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: much work as possible because I know like everybody's just

609
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: trying to navigate. And then like with friends, I'm trying

610
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: to be there for my friends that are really struggling,

611
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,719
Speaker 1: but it's also you know, and then like with your family,

612
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: you're trying to be it's like you're just trying to

613
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: manage manage it all, and it's like we're just just

614
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 1: just going through it together. I think, you know, like

615
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: one of the listener questions was like, how how am

616
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 1: I balancing being a mom and entrepreneur and a wife

617
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: and all those things, And you know, same with you

618
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: like with work and you have the radio show and

619
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 1: then you have the podcast, all of these different things.

620
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: And I think what I've learned is some days you're

621
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: gonna be super great at something and something else is

622
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: going to fall through the cracks a little bit and

623
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: one and then you know what, the next day it

624
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: will be something else like and that is okay. I

625
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: think honestly having perfect balance is impossible. Yeah, And also

626
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: think like learning how to navigate to because I was realizing, um,

627
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 1: like I was on the air, but I felt like sad,

628
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 1: like I didn't feel like myself, and so I, um,

629
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: I was like, what can I do to kind of

630
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: get my energy up, you know, so that I can

631
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: instead of being around people that will help me, you know,

632
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 1: keep my energy up. And so I'd like put a

633
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: jump rope behind like my little table here and just

634
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: was like in between songs, I would like do some

635
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: jump rope and like get myself up. You know, it's

636
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: so weird going. I know it's have to like kind

637
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 1: of keep you have. I almost have to like get

638
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 1: a little bit of like a rush so that I

639
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: can get get the momentum going, because if not, I'm like,

640
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 1: there's no urgency. All right now, There's gotta be urgency.

641
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: There's gotta be something because I to make you feel alive. Yeah,

642
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: so you met your boyfriend on hinge? I need more details? Uh, yes,

643
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 1: we met on hinge. UM, which is like the craziest

644
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: thing to me because I was always so poo poo

645
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: on dating apps. And but then so I don't know

646
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: if that's a swiping one or a clicking one or

647
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: what it is for someone telling they're they're all swiping

648
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: every single one of them you swipe on, so it

649
00:32:55,800 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: doesn't really narrow it down. Yeah yeah did you? Did

650
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: you swipe because of the picture or because of what

651
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: it said? Um? So this one I actually really like

652
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: because it does give you a little bit more insight.

653
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 1: Asked to like the person that they are. UM one

654
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: of his Like two of his questions were like literally,

655
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: so me, um, he's sleeping right now, so I feel

656
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 1: okay it's saying this. Um. They were so me that

657
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, this is my dude.

658
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 1: He in one of them, he described like what he's

659
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: looking for and it was literally like me. And then

660
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: another one it was like something about food and he

661
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: was like dare like doesn't need dairy black, like all

662
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: like the things like my weird food things. And I

663
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this this is my this is this

664
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 1: is a yes for me. But how you were always

665
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: again because I do. Actually we did something on the

666
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: podcast about dating apps once and um, you know there's

667
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 1: a lot of people are like they just don't work,

668
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: they just don't work, or some that are like I've

669
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: been on it forever. What do you think was like

670
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 1: made it just all click? I don't. It's so weird

671
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,719
Speaker 1: because I've been on all the dating apps for years,

672
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,320
Speaker 1: like they've always just been on and like in the background,

673
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 1: does that make sense? Like I was on Bumble and

674
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,800
Speaker 1: Tinder and Raya and Coffee meets Bagel and Ja Swipe

675
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:21,920
Speaker 1: and like Bagel I could not with that name. I

676
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: was on every single one of them. But I wasn't

677
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 1: like actively pursuing anybody that I met, Like I would

678
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: talk to them for maybe like a day, and then

679
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: I would just like stop engaging. Like I only had

680
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 1: met like physically one guy that I met Mett on

681
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: match dot com, and then one guy I met on Raya,

682
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: and then and then my now boyfriend. So I really

683
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,959
Speaker 1: have only met three guys off of a dating app.

684
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 1: But I don't know because it's like I don't I

685
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 1: don't really know something about him. The conversation was really easy,

686
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 1: like when we were texting, and then I just kind

687
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: of like one of my girlfriends actually, Sierra, I was

688
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 1: just like, just meet this guy, like I have good vibes.

689
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,320
Speaker 1: I could just have a good feeling about him. So

690
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: I went and met him for a drink, and I

691
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 1: was like expecting it to be not good, and so

692
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'll meet you at five thirty.

693
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 1: Was planning on leaving at seven thirty because I had

694
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,359
Speaker 1: to go to New York the next day, and um,

695
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: we ended up like meeting and having like really easy conversation,

696
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: like really good chemistry. I was with him until like

697
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 1: ten o'clock that night. Whoa, that's late for you, super

698
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 1: late for me. And I was going to New York

699
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 1: the next day and I hadn't packed. Like that's how

700
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: like into it I was, So you gotta trust your gut,

701
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 1: be ready, be open, read and see if they like

702
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: dairy or not. But like his explanation of like what

703
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 1: he's looking for in a girl was like super meat.

704
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: It was something like I don't remember it exactly, but

705
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 1: like it was something I have it somewhere, I screenshot

706
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 1: at it. But it was something along the lines of like,

707
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: you know, good partner, blah blah blah. But then I

708
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 1: can also just like loves just like can be just

709
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: as comfortable with like jeans and no makeup, you know

710
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 1: what I mean, like which is perfect. Yeah. Oh that

711
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: makes me so happy. I know he's a good one.

712
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: He's a really good one. Um. Okay, So I have

713
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: a question. I actually read something that about Gwyneth Paltrow

714
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 1: and her husband and like intimacy with having all the

715
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: kids in the house. But I guess, aren't your kids

716
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 1: always in the house? Well for for yeah, I mean

717
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 1: my kids are always in the house, but like normally

718
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: they'd be at school during the day. Some of them,

719
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: but I haven't been clear Well, intimacy and sex, I

720
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: know are different, but I haven't even been cleared to

721
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: have sex yet. I'm not at six weeks. That's next Tuesday.

722
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 1: Oh you have it marked on kid, Well, I guess

723
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 1: by the time everybody's listening to this, it will be

724
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 1: that day. It'll be a surprise day. So no, like

725
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 1: Edwin is like, we need he he actually today because

726
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 1: I had to get like dressed up for I mean,

727
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 1: like I say dressed up. I have my hair half

728
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 1: up and like a little bit of mascar on. But

729
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: he was like, because I got ready for a president.

730
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: He's like, whoa. He's like, we had six weeks. I'm

731
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: like not yet. I'm like, but I'm sure we're fine.

732
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: Weren't five and a half weeks. He's like, nope, the

733
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 1: doctor said six weeks, so it's just let me know.

734
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, so cute. He's like, panics,

735
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:18,959
Speaker 1: something bad will happen if we do before um. But yeah,

736
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 1: so sex, I'm not there yet, So I don't know

737
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: how to answer that question. But intimacy, our biggest thing

738
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 1: is like just to set aside some time for ourselves.

739
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: So like a couple of nights ago. It was like

740
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: a day that it was like a high anxiety day

741
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: for me. And I like said to Edwin in the morning, like,

742
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: you know, I'm having a little bit of a day.

743
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: Like I'm doing everything that I can. I've worked out,

744
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: you know, I've gotten my work done. There's nothing I'm

745
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: putting off, but I just still feel anxious. And he

746
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: was like, well, hey, why don't we like just pick

747
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 1: a movie that we can watch and that can be

748
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 1: the time when like the kids are allowed to have

749
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: their tablet and you know, like we'll come up with

750
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: an activity that they could you know whatever it was

751
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 1: as and so like we gave the kids the tablet.

752
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 1: We fed the kids dinner, and then we gave them

753
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 1: the tablet, and like we said and not dub du

754
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: just like sat on me. But we just like cuddled

755
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 1: on the couch watched an adult movie together. But like

756
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,959
Speaker 1: in that one like hour and a half, I felt

757
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: more connected to Edwin than I had, like because we're

758
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: both like so busy. It's like a business exchange, like

759
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: I'll have that like he has done right now, and

760
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,439
Speaker 1: then like we switched it off and blah blah blah,

761
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: you know, like we're just like constantly in motion, and

762
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,720
Speaker 1: so it really was just like about taking that moment

763
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 1: to like actually like cuddle and touch and like be

764
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: near one another where it's not like we're just you know,

765
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: going through the motions of making sure we're like working

766
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 1: hard and taking care of our kids. Um, I am,

767
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 1: how like PG, do you keep it on your podcast?

768
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: I mean not, We've talked a lot about sex in general.

769
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 1: But what what's your question? Because my question is do

770
00:38:54,920 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: you give him blow jobs? Um? Well, I mean yes,

771
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 1: but um, the last week I have not because we've

772
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: been at our beach house and my son has been

773
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 1: in our room with us and the baby. So like

774
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 1: it just feels heard a lot of people so like

775
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: I should like he probably wouldn't be as ready to

776
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 1: go if this wasn't like, but the last like let's say,

777
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 1: ten days have been a little slow. But like, I

778
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: don't know, I feel weird when the kids are in

779
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 1: the room, even if they're sleeping. Yeah, that would be

780
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: a hard note for me. There are some parents that do,

781
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: and I'm not judging them, but there are some that

782
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 1: are and I but I can't not No, I don't

783
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: think I could. I don't think I could either. But

784
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: my son is like definitely going through the phase of like, well,

785
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: if baby Dove gets to be in the room, then

786
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 1: so do I. And I'm like, you want to be

787
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: up for every night multiple times and he's like, yep,

788
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 1: I don't care. So, like we've the sleep schedule was

789
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,399
Speaker 1: going so well with I mean, sleeping on his own

790
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: was going so well. But now we've had a yeah,

791
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: we're gonna try, Yeah, we're gonna have We've pivoted, We're

792
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,320
Speaker 1: gonna try again tonight. We've got our meditation apps. We're

793
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 1: going in full force. I'm sure yours is a little different, though,

794
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 1: you guys like crazy crazy over there. I know, it's

795
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 1: so funny. I was actually reading like my blow jobs

796
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 1: are going just fine, thank you. But I couldn't even

797
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 1: imagine having kids because I always get nervous that like

798
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 1: my neighbors can hear me, do you know what I mean?

799
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 1: Like that's like my fear is like no, because my

800
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 1: walls are super thin in my apartment complex, so I

801
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 1: can hear like they're yeah, I can hear their TV,

802
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: like when I go to the bathroom, Like I can

803
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: hear the TV from my neighbors. So I'm like, oh, like,

804
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: what can they hear? And here? Oh I've just had

805
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 1: so many visuals. Now I need to reel it back in,

806
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 1: reel it back in. Um. Yeah, so one of us,

807
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 1: one of us is getting a lot more action than

808
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 1: the other on this podcast. But you guys, check me

809
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: back next week. I'll be I'll be making a turn.

810
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 1: I'll be back to my two times a week. Guys.

811
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: Don't worry. Oh is that is that like your is

812
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 1: that your guys? This thing too? You do it two

813
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 1: times a week. We make sure to there. There's add

814
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: ons occasionally that you know, like days, anniversaries. No, I

815
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 1: actually I actually like to to do more, but I'm

816
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: saying we make sure it's at least two because life

817
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 1: like gets really crazy with with all these kids and

818
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: work and and so we're like we made a deal,

819
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 1: like we'll be like, all right, if it's like Thursday

820
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 1: and we haven't yet, I'm like one of us will

821
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 1: be like, hey, we're at zero and we're like, oh, shoot,

822
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 1: we gotta get one in. Let's go. So that's like

823
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: a little like understanding that you guys have in your marriage.

824
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,280
Speaker 1: Then we have to have closet time. What's closet time?

825
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: Sometimes you have to just do it in the closet

826
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:16,399
Speaker 1: because it is the only place close. I think that's

827
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: I think that's so cute though, because I think it,

828
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,879
Speaker 1: I do think it's very important. And I also think

829
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 1: that like I can't imagine, especially now with four kids

830
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 1: running around, like I feel like that probably that time

831
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 1: gets like less and less. And so the fact that

832
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: you guys have this like understanding that like, Okay, it's

833
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 1: going to happen at least twice a week, Like that's

834
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: really cute. Yeah, And I mean it makes it kind

835
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: of fun because like, well, well before we were you know,

836
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 1: when we weren't working together all the time, like in

837
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: each other's space all the time. Like if he would

838
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 1: be at the office, he'd like send me a text,

839
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 1: he'd be like number one, you know, like question mark

840
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: or you know, like whatever. You know, Like that's so cute.

841
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 1: I think that's so sweet. I really do. I got

842
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: a lot of heat from it. I talked about it

843
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:06,320
Speaker 1: publicly once and someone's like, you schedule sex, how I

844
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 1: don't romantic? And I was like, we don't like schedule

845
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: and it's not like four pm on Thursdays it's just

846
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: we make sure that it happens and we make ourselves

847
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: a priority because like I will say that after I

848
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 1: had Clayton Cruise, like there was a time where like

849
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 1: there was you know, we had like you know, a

850
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 1: low point like where you know, I wasn't feeling my

851
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 1: best and then I wasn't like in the mood. Or

852
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:32,799
Speaker 1: then he would come home from work and I would

853
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 1: be so exhausted that then like I'd be complaining to

854
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:39,800
Speaker 1: him instead of like, you know, it just it changed.

855
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 1: It changes after kids. So I think the fact that

856
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 1: like we can talk about it and make it, you know,

857
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:49,280
Speaker 1: something that we can laugh about makes it a lot easier. Also,

858
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 1: like if I want to schedule a blow job at

859
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: four pm on a Thursday, like I'm going to do

860
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: that because guess what, it's my life and it's my

861
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 1: prerogative and I get I can guarantee you when I

862
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 1: have kids, I will probably be scheduling those things. Is

863
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 1: it going to be color coordinated? What blowjop friend for

864
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 1: love are? No? I know it's so funny. Daily makeouts

865
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 1: are gonna have to be daily make out? Yeah? I

866
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: know it. The kids are, but also kids are funny too,

867
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:31,879
Speaker 1: They're like, ohh you guys are disgusting, Like what see

868
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: you two kids? I'm like come on, and they're like

869
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 1: that's now. I'm like, yeah, okay, guys, but I think

870
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 1: it's healthy for knstucing you like give your partner. You're like,

871
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: I think it's I think that's really important that your

872
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 1: kids see you guys like kissing and loving each other

873
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: for sure. I mean maybe not like grabbing your boobs

874
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 1: and button things like that, but I think kissing is

875
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: so sweet. Me too, I think so too. They just

876
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 1: like to cheose us and then and then crews always go, Dad,

877
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: what are you trying to be handsome for mom? You

878
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 1: can be handsome? Yeah, So that's that. That's that we're

879
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: gonna get back in the swing of things. Come to night. Baby, wait,

880
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: I need to know, so like, okay, this is like

881
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 1: sick because I'm actually gonna be thinking about this on Tuesday.

882
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: So like, are you gonna like wear something nice? Are

883
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:28,479
Speaker 1: you gonna do something just just regular straight sex. It's

884
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 1: gonna be like one. It's like been a while, so

885
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 1: we have like Also, it's I mean, last trimester of

886
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 1: sex is like a whole situation because you can only

887
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 1: do it from one ankle, like it's a whole thing.

888
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 1: So this is like i't I might be still in

889
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 1: a little bit of pain. So you have to like

890
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 1: tread softly the first time, like there's no funny business

891
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 1: because like your uterus is still shrinking and like there

892
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,320
Speaker 1: could be you know, like you're still like bleeding weeks

893
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 1: after having a baby. I love that you like touch

894
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: your book as I say that. It makes me so

895
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 1: it's like so intense. So we have to we have

896
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 1: to you know, we'll be careful the first time, but

897
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:15,879
Speaker 1: the second time during the week, you know, I bet

898
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 1: we'll really have to ex handle. Do they stitch? Because

899
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 1: you had dumb naturally right like out the hole, out

900
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 1: the whole of how many stitches did you have with

901
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 1: Slaton cruise stitches and with dub I didn't need? Does

902
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:43,479
Speaker 1: that mean you're vagina was so stretched out embarrassed when

903
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,320
Speaker 1: I when I asked how many stitches and he said that,

904
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: I was like, what can you just put a courtesy

905
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 1: stitch in there? Because I obviously can you tighten the

906
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:04,959
Speaker 1: backup down there? He's like, great news, you didn't tear,

907
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 1: And I was like, I share, it's actually hilarious. That's

908
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 1: so funny. That's better for the recovery, right, Yeah, it

909
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 1: was great for the recovery, terrible for the ego. Can't

910
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 1: tell On that note, Tanya, thanks for joining me today

911
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 1: and getting me to share my most um embarrassing topics.

912
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 1: You're so welcome. I was just happy to, so happy to.

913
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: I can't wait until you have kids that I can

914
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 1: grill you on your vagina. Dude, I can't wait too,

915
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,439
Speaker 1: because I mean I can't wait, and I will wait.

916
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 1: But um, it's such a new world that like it's

917
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,799
Speaker 1: just so I don't even know where I'm gonna begin,

918
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna be reading all the books, all the things,

919
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: but then it's gonna be totally different from me, for you,

920
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: for them, whatever you read or here, because like every

921
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: single person I know has like a completely different story.

922
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 1: And you know, we get ourselves all amped up for

923
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: something that doesn't happen, and then you know, you end

924
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:17,359
Speaker 1: up stitch less, stitch less, stitchless with faulty boobs, but

925
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 1: somehow we're surviving. So I'm like literally trying to envision

926
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 1: like what no, like how sexy my stitchless? Uh? Crying

927
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: and then having to ask edwin to take my placenta

928
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 1: outside to drop it off to the placenta ladies so

929
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,439
Speaker 1: I could have them made into pills so I could

930
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: eat them. Do you ask Edwin, like, is my vagina

931
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: like shrutch here? Well I have. I didn't ask him

932
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 1: if I missed any spots like grooming, and he was like, actually, baby,

933
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 1: you did a really nice job up. And I was like,

934
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,319
Speaker 1: you shave it before you give birth. You just think

935
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 1: I might to have a bunch of hair out that now?

936
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: Of course, of course I did, and I was serious

937
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 1: about it. I went in the bath with a mirror.

938
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: I could not handle if there was like a like

939
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 1: a weird spot or some kind of like misshaving or

940
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 1: not even for just my husband my doctor, Like I

941
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: don't right right the nurses, gosh, not be the worst

942
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 1: scene of the day, right right right? I get that. Wow,

943
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 1: Edwin really has really just stepped up. He's stepped up.

944
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,919
Speaker 1: I see him at the with a whole new set

945
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: of eyes. Now. Yeah, So anyways, so I'm well kempt

946
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:53,399
Speaker 1: keeping things together. But yeah, but now I can see

947
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 1: mine again and it's it seems fine. We'll see how

948
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,920
Speaker 1: it goes. I'm gonna tell see you on Tuesday and

949
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 1: be like, happy hump Day, Happy hump Day, hump Day.

950
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you made me like cry laughing thing.

951
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:12,360
Speaker 1: I've totally forgotten about the stitches and now I'm back.

952
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 1: You're I don't know what, but what you name your

953
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: podcast episodes with this one should be stitchless, stitchless, stitchless

954
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 1: stitchless and hormonal stitch listen hormonal. Thanks for tuning in.

955
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:31,319
Speaker 1: But I do think a lot more energy because I

956
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: ate my pacenta pills. I'm serious. I'll read about that

957
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:38,440
Speaker 1: some day. I can't wait to eat my own placenta.

958
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:45,800
Speaker 1: On that note, On that note, it's all unapproved, so Tanya.

959
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 1: Next up, we have Jinny Marie Batistan and she has

960
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,839
Speaker 1: books on Mindfulness for Teens and ten Minutes a Day

961
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: and then Mindfulness Journey for Teens. They're both available now.

962
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 1: But she's going to talk to us about like coping

963
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,839
Speaker 1: with anxiety with everything that we're going through right now. Nice,

964
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 1: I love that, So let's take a little break and

965
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 1: then we'll come back with her. Right I can't believe

966
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 1: you've got me to share that stuff. Wait, would you

967
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 1: not normally share that stuff? I'm sorry, Hi, how are

968
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:29,800
Speaker 1: you guys. Good. Thanks, you're on with Tony and Teddy.

969
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: All right, Hi, Hi you guys holding up there, We're

970
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 1: holding up. We're so okay, we can see you. We're

971
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: so happy to hear from you because we would love

972
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: to hear some ways to reduce anxiety and stress during

973
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 1: these uncertain times. Rates I'd love to chat with you

974
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 1: guys about that. What would you say, like, just off

975
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,320
Speaker 1: the top of your head, is like the number one

976
00:51:56,400 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 1: way to reduce stress and anxiety right now? You know,

977
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,359
Speaker 1: one of the things that I'm noticing with a lot

978
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,799
Speaker 1: of my clients is, you know, it's important to acknowledge

979
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 1: the feelings and not push it away. I think a

980
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:10,839
Speaker 1: lot of times we think like I just shouldn't think

981
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 1: about this, but sometimes that it actually makes us more anxious.

982
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 1: But if we can just acknowledge it and just say, like,

983
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 1: I'm knowing you've seeing I'm having an anxious thought about

984
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,319
Speaker 1: what's going on, and then once we notice it, we

985
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 1: can then actually then commit our attention to focus on

986
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: something that is within our control, so something inside of

987
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 1: our home, something with our kids, something with our partner,

988
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 1: um and you know, and then that will really start

989
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 1: to lessen the anxiety because if we worry about everything

990
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,720
Speaker 1: that's out there, we can't control what's going on outside

991
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: of our home right now for sure. And the more

992
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:53,839
Speaker 1: we try to control the uncontrollable, the worst we get. Yes. Absolutely,

993
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 1: And do you care if I just kind of go

994
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 1: through some listener questions right now because so many people

995
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: bull are just like at their within right now, and

996
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,839
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that we get through them. Yes,

997
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 1: that's great, all right. The first one is what can

998
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 1: I do to make grocery shopping less stressful? Uh? That's

999
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 1: a great one. I think if we can really try

1000
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: to create a menu for the week, and it can

1001
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 1: be really fun too, if we engage the family, we're

1002
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 1: home by ourselves. Maybe we can just be creative and say, hey,

1003
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna create some fun recipes this week. Make a list,

1004
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:33,640
Speaker 1: and then be strategic about your list of Okay, I'm

1005
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 1: gonna go out and I'm gonna do shopping for two

1006
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: weeks um as much as possible, because that lessons are

1007
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 1: contact out there. Uh, and then we can do simple

1008
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:43,279
Speaker 1: things when we're out there as far as you know.

1009
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 1: If we have our own disinfecting wives, take them with us,

1010
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 1: just an extra precaution, but just being aware of our

1011
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 1: where our placement of our body is and that we

1012
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 1: can keep ourselves safe. And I think before you actually

1013
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,920
Speaker 1: leave the house, just remind yourself, hey, I can be

1014
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 1: aware of myself. I can keep myself safe by keeping

1015
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 1: appropriate distancing. I'm in control of my space and my body.

1016
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 1: And if we start with that mindset, it tends to

1017
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 1: lessen our anxiety when we're out there in the public.

1018
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 1: That's really good advice because we just start to spiral

1019
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:21,839
Speaker 1: and like already planned the next grocery trip when you're

1020
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:24,280
Speaker 1: at the current one. I know, and like, I hate

1021
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 1: going to the grocery store because it makes me anxious.

1022
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:28,640
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm starting to get better about just

1023
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 1: being like this is fine. I can do it and

1024
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:34,480
Speaker 1: safely do it. And I'm I'm good. I know. I

1025
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 1: keep I keep checking Amazon Fresh to see if it's

1026
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: like working, and it's not. I'm always like, all right,

1027
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: I gotta go the next. The next one is about

1028
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 1: hand washing, and it's I'm so paranoid about washing my hands.

1029
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 1: They're starting to crack and bleed. What do I do?

1030
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 1: How can I manage it? It's become a compulsion. Ah yes,

1031
00:54:56,280 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 1: So part of that is just acknowledging too. Again, I'm

1032
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 1: having the thought of being anxious about coronavirus. I'm noticing

1033
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 1: that thought, and sometimes if we actually just actually acknowledge it,

1034
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 1: then we start to lessen our anxiety about it and

1035
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 1: then say a statement with that of I can take

1036
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: care of myself. I can be aware of when I

1037
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 1: need to wash my hands. So you know, if we're

1038
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:25,799
Speaker 1: staying in our home, we're safe in our home. Uh.

1039
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 1: You know, we've we we're protecting ourselves, so our handwashing

1040
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:33,000
Speaker 1: doesn't need to be as extreme when we're home. Sometimes

1041
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,479
Speaker 1: we focus on that because it feels like something within

1042
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 1: our control. But if we've come home and we've washed

1043
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 1: your hands, we're good there. So acknowledge I'm having that thought.

1044
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: Acknowledge I already took an action. I came home, I

1045
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: washed my hands. And then of course we can use

1046
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 1: some really great things like get some lavender uh scented lotions.

1047
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 1: Uh that can be just really soothing for our hands

1048
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 1: as well as you're gonna get that little boost of

1049
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:03,399
Speaker 1: amotherapy of lavender that just calms the body. So we're

1050
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 1: moisturizing our hands because we're washing them more often, but

1051
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 1: we're also doing something that's going to calm us a

1052
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 1: little bit. I like the idea of the lavender that

1053
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 1: and I like that, all right, I can do that.

1054
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:19,240
Speaker 1: And then what about for extroverts who are really finding

1055
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 1: it difficult to be home right now? Like what I

1056
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:26,279
Speaker 1: know likes have helped, but like, what other tools do

1057
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 1: you recommend? Yeah, so of course we've got the zoom calls. Uh,

1058
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 1: you know, I think people are getting creative. They're also

1059
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 1: doing that Netflix watch parties together where you can chat

1060
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,160
Speaker 1: with your friends. I think also if we can just

1061
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 1: commit ourselves to an action that we can do at

1062
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 1: home that could be really fun and engaging that maybe

1063
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 1: we don't always do. So maybe we can play a

1064
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 1: board game with our family if we have someone who's

1065
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: home with us. If we don't have anyone who's home

1066
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 1: with us, then it's again finding something in the house

1067
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,279
Speaker 1: that we feel like we can put our time in

1068
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 1: our energy too, that's enjoyable. And then maybe we share

1069
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 1: with our friends and our family of the progress that

1070
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:08,720
Speaker 1: we've had on a project at home can be really helpful.

1071
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: Of course, there's games you can play too. I think

1072
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:13,879
Speaker 1: a lot of people are having fun playing in these,

1073
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 1: you know, remote games with each other. It's another fun

1074
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 1: way to connect. And I mean watching Tiger King, I

1075
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 1: really was. I really enjoyed that. That like got me

1076
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 1: out of like I was kind of spiraling and then

1077
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 1: I watched that, and I'm like, you know what, I

1078
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 1: could be Joe exotic and now I feel better. It's

1079
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 1: so funny how everyone is totally jumped on that Tiger

1080
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,480
Speaker 1: King guy. I've got to watch it now. I know.

1081
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch it this weekend. Are you guys? You

1082
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: haven't watched it. I cannot believe it. I was like,

1083
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 1: I'm blown, So you need to watch it. It's not

1084
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 1: just like an Instagram sensation. It's so crazy good. It's unbelievable. Okay,

1085
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 1: we're gonna watch that again. I gotta do it. Yeah,

1086
00:57:57,360 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 1: all right, So this one's funny. Um how he's asking,

1087
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:06,200
Speaker 1: which I think everybody can relate to. Um, how do

1088
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 1: I not lose it on my husband being around him

1089
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 1: all day every day? Oh my goodness, I am hearing

1090
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: this one a lot, especially because I'm a relationship therapist. Um,

1091
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 1: you know, I think it's really important that we have

1092
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 1: a ten minute check in with our partner and say Hey,

1093
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 1: what do you need today? Um? What would be helpful

1094
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 1: for you? And and then create sanctuary zones in your

1095
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 1: house where it's kind of like the no go zone

1096
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:33,280
Speaker 1: of where you're going to ask your partner for something

1097
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 1: that's their zone. You're not going to enter it and

1098
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,520
Speaker 1: go like hey can you fix the toilet or hey

1099
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: can you do another little laundry for me or whatever. Um,

1100
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 1: You're just really going to protect th zones. Um. And

1101
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:47,960
Speaker 1: then if you do that ten minute check in of like, hey,

1102
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 1: how are you feeling about things? How do you feel

1103
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 1: like we're doing in the house, negotiating, getting things done,

1104
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 1: taking care of the kids, or taking care of work? Uh?

1105
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,920
Speaker 1: And you know, how are you generally feeling in the

1106
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 1: day to day of all of what we're going through.

1107
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 1: And by doing that ten minute check in a lot

1108
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: of times, that's gonna be stress reducing and that's going

1109
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 1: to help us. You know, I feel a little bit less, uh,

1110
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 1: you know, with our partner and that we want to

1111
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 1: just um, you know, maybe send him along to the

1112
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 1: Tiger King. Well, I feel like I totally agree because

1113
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:23,480
Speaker 1: I was talking earlier with telling me about it, and

1114
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: I did say, like in the morning, my husband. I

1115
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,479
Speaker 1: like have a little conversation where I'll be like today

1116
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:30,840
Speaker 1: I'm feeling anxious or the time I'm feeling and kind

1117
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:33,640
Speaker 1: of like setting the tone to like we know how

1118
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 1: to manage each other, or like I'm feeling on top

1119
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 1: of the world today. I can do this. I've got

1120
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 1: you know, like, so you have an idea because most

1121
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 1: of the time we're projecting how we're feeling on our

1122
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 1: partner and it has nothing to do with them. So

1123
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 1: I try to always remember, I mean, I'm not perfect

1124
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: at this. Like sometimes like last night, his phone was

1125
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:54,440
Speaker 1: like making a noise and I was like, and then

1126
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 1: he was like, you need to take a breath, like

1127
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,480
Speaker 1: some other time. He One of the other things I

1128
01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 1: teach my couples is what I call CPR. So CPR

1129
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 1: would be a compliment for the CEE. Give your partner

1130
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: a compliment um or and I appreciate statement. And then

1131
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 1: if you've got a problem, then leading into the problem

1132
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 1: and say, but say it in this format. You know,

1133
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 1: I'm feeling anxious about, you know, whatever you're feeling anxious about,

1134
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: and then follow it by what you need and I

1135
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 1: really need uh, And then your partner is going to

1136
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 1: lean in a little bit more towards you and be

1137
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 1: able to help meet those needs. Okay, all right, I'm

1138
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna app my compliments. I'm sure Tony is

1139
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 1: already good at the complimenting. Yeah, but also, like you

1140
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:43,120
Speaker 1: also have to understand we're newly dating, so that's like

1141
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 1: not you know, but I also think when I'm when

1142
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 1: I'm telling people that are like going and saying with

1143
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,520
Speaker 1: their partners is like, just have a little bit of

1144
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 1: grace for everybody right now, you know what I mean.

1145
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 1: Like we're all going through emotions and feelings that we've

1146
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,840
Speaker 1: never had or felt before. So it's just kind of like,

1147
01:00:57,040 --> 01:01:00,120
Speaker 1: let's just all have a little bit of great for

1148
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 1: one another. Yes, that's so true. And I think it's

1149
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,959
Speaker 1: important for us to also have compassion for our own

1150
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 1: self as well during this time and understand it is

1151
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 1: difficult times. So if we can have self compassion first,

1152
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 1: then we also are able to have compassion and kindness

1153
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 1: with our partner. Alright, Alright, I know we've all we've

1154
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 1: all got to work on that. Guys. Nobody needs to be,

1155
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 1: you know, losing it on their husbands every day. Let's

1156
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 1: let's let's keep it to like every five days. I

1157
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 1: think that's okay, that's a fair compromise. It just needs

1158
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 1: to me every day. We have enough um. And then

1159
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:35,320
Speaker 1: the final question before we have to wrap up because

1160
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 1: we're running out of time, is somebody's saying I haven't

1161
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:40,919
Speaker 1: showered in four days and I wear sweats every day.

1162
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:43,920
Speaker 1: One thing that I can say is I pretty much

1163
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 1: wear sweats on the bottom every day, but I do

1164
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 1: take a shower because the shower actually makes me feel better.

1165
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 1: I take multiple showers a day. I could not imagine

1166
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 1: not showering for five days. That would really throw me

1167
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 1: into another tailsman. You have to shower, and if you

1168
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 1: don't even like showers, like even if you take a

1169
01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:03,240
Speaker 1: bath and look at it like self care and like

1170
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 1: make it like a place where you're reading, or put

1171
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:09,919
Speaker 1: some some bath salts in there, like find a way

1172
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 1: that like you can take a moment to yourself to

1173
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 1: enjoy the process. Because I know with myself, when I

1174
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 1: am not like clean, I don't feel good and I

1175
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 1: can't like take action. But you know true, I mean,

1176
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 1: is there anything else you guys want to add to that? Yeah,

1177
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 1: put some candles on. And also we know that you

1178
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 1: know our anxieties are going to be lessened if we

1179
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:36,680
Speaker 1: keep a routine and a schedule. So a showers an

1180
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:40,439
Speaker 1: important part I hope of our normal schedule. So keep

1181
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: that going perfect. Well, you guys, thank you so much. Um,

1182
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 1: thank you for joining me, both of you guys. I

1183
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: think it's so I mean, we had some laughs and

1184
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 1: then also I think these are some great tools and

1185
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 1: the most important thing we can all remember is like

1186
01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:57,440
Speaker 1: we're not in this alone. We're all together, and you know,

1187
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,440
Speaker 1: we're doing what's best for for us and are staying

1188
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 1: healthy in our families and everyone around us. And you know,

1189
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:06,920
Speaker 1: I'm really grateful to you guys because having this like

1190
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:09,960
Speaker 1: contact and speaking with you guys has really made me

1191
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 1: feel good today. So thank you, yes, yes, thank you

1192
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,520
Speaker 1: and everyone hanging there. We're gonna all get through this together.

1193
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 1: Yeah we well, thank you, thank you. Hi. Thanks for listening.

1194
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:24,960
Speaker 1: Subscribe to n T pot on I Heart radio or

1195
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:26,720
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts.