Speaker 1: Who baby A baby? I need you, Oh hell, I
Speaker 1: need you. What to Expect is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Murkop and I'm a
Speaker 1: mom on a mission, a mission to help you know
Speaker 1: what to expect every step of the way. There's no
Speaker 1: question that you're excited to meet your baby for the
Speaker 1: first time. But when it comes to the process leading
Speaker 1: up to that first meet and great labor and delivery
Speaker 1: that is, you've probably got plenty of questions and concerns,
Speaker 1: maybe even a few hardcore worries that are keeping you
Speaker 1: up at night, just as you were trying to cash
Speaker 1: in on those last months of uninterrupted sleep. Maybe it
Speaker 1: hasn't help that you've googled and seen things that you
Speaker 1: can unseee, or that you asked your girlfriends and got
Speaker 1: an earful of labor and delivery horror stories that, yeah,
Speaker 1: they clearly embellished a little more each time they told them,
Speaker 1: but still or watched a video on YouTube that was
Speaker 1: just a little too up close and personal, or you
Speaker 1: saw that film at eleven mom delivers baby in her
Speaker 1: bathroom by herself. But let's forget about all of that.
Speaker 1: The focus for now is getting you ready for your
Speaker 1: labor and delivery, which, like every labor and delivery and
Speaker 1: every pregnancy before it and every baby that falls it
Speaker 1: will be uniquely yours. So today we're here to answer
Speaker 1: all the labor and delivery questions you have and maybe
Speaker 1: some you didn't realize you had, and if we need
Speaker 1: to to talk you off a ledger two because you've
Speaker 1: got this, Mama promise, I'm here with Emma. Hey. I
Speaker 1: remember my own labor and delivery like it was yesterday,
Speaker 1: but I also remember yours, which was a little more recent. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: which one my first or my second? So your first
Speaker 1: one with Lennox, I remember you called like in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. It was. It was the middle
Speaker 1: of the night. I was I was thirty nine weeks.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I'm ready. I was bouncing on
Speaker 1: the ball eight the labor salad. You know. I was
Speaker 1: doing everything I possibly could to get this thing out
Speaker 1: of me. I think there was hot sauce too. I
Speaker 1: had hot sauce. I had a lot of hot sauce.
Speaker 1: And then I was sleeping on the couch and I
Speaker 1: started having attractions and at like two am, so I
Speaker 1: started timing them, timing them. I was like, oh wait,
Speaker 1: they're getting a little closer. So I wake up my
Speaker 1: then husband and and us and you of course got
Speaker 1: alert the media and said, I think I'm having a baby.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but I think I'm having a baby.
Speaker 1: And then we drove to the hospital and he was
Speaker 1: literally born within like a few hours. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: pretty fast. He was tiny. He shot right out. It
Speaker 1: was like five pounds, you know. Okay, so let's do
Speaker 1: the second one now with Seby. I mean, the second
Speaker 1: one was a little bit more of reproduction because I
Speaker 1: had gotten bit by an octopus five weeks prior, and
Speaker 1: I had pre term labor and they had to control
Speaker 1: that at the hospital, so I was being monitored. It
Speaker 1: might have been these early as like three weeks. But
Speaker 1: then I woke up in the middle of night and
Speaker 1: I thought I went to bed and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I think I pete the bed. Ha ha. So my
Speaker 1: husband I were joking around, You texted me. I texted.
Speaker 1: I was like, mom, I pete the bed, ha ha.
Speaker 1: It's so funny, cute, huh. And then you're like, wait,
Speaker 1: smell it. So I smelled it and it smelled sweet.
Speaker 1: You're like, does it smell sweet. I was like, it
Speaker 1: does smell sweet. You're like, um, you might be in labor.
Speaker 1: It's definitely a time when you smell the sheets and
Speaker 1: they smell like p then you peat yourself when you
Speaker 1: smell sweet. Then your water broke. Yeah, so I are
Speaker 1: kind of freaking out because I was super early. My
Speaker 1: husband's like, we got to go to the hospital. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'll drive myself, but wait, first, I must
Speaker 1: make breakfast for my son. So I'm standing over the
Speaker 1: oven like holding my stomach making sausages, like crying, like
Speaker 1: probably like amniotic fluid dripping down my leg. But I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't not make him his last breakfast
Speaker 1: as a single child. So I did, and then I
Speaker 1: drove myself to the hospital. Yeah. We'll talk about that later.
Speaker 1: The best idea you ever had. Thankfully, the hospitals like
Speaker 1: two blocks away, and I get there like and I
Speaker 1: said to them, I feel like I'm in labor. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. Yeah, that's how it happened. Yeah, so with mine,
Speaker 1: with you, you were substantially late. I'm going to say, shocking.
Speaker 1: And finally I get some contractions. First of all, I
Speaker 1: hadn't written the book yet. I'm rolling around on the
Speaker 1: floor of our apartment and I'm rising in pain, but
Speaker 1: of course I don't scream, like I'm not crying. I'm
Speaker 1: just like riding in pain. And after a while, Eric
Speaker 1: just like he looks at me and says, like, I've
Speaker 1: never seen labor before, but I gotta say, this looks
Speaker 1: a lot like what labor would seemed like to me
Speaker 1: because the contractions weren't regular, so I assume it was
Speaker 1: false labor. And I'm like the person saying, I don't
Speaker 1: want to go to the hospital and be the one
Speaker 1: that everybody laughs at because I'm not in labor yet
Speaker 1: it's false labor. He almost drags me. He probably carried
Speaker 1: me actually to a taxi because it was New York City.
Speaker 1: Weading in a car. We go to the hospital and
Speaker 1: I get there and centimeters dilated Like that sounds like
Speaker 1: about right coming from here. Yeah, you're gonna end up
Speaker 1: giving birth in New York City taxi. If anyone will,
Speaker 1: it would be you. Well, yeah, except for the three
Speaker 1: and a half hours of pushing your big head out.
Speaker 1: That's another story. Well, well, you know my kids got
Speaker 1: big heads, karma. Yes, so um, you've packed for the
Speaker 1: hospital a few times. What are your three most important
Speaker 1: items to pack? Phone charger number one. I mean, they
Speaker 1: do give you a lot of things. They give you socks.
Speaker 1: I packed cute socks, but I probably wore what the
Speaker 1: hospital gave me. What about a scrunchy for your hair. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's great, a good scrunchy. Face wipes. Yeah, they're not
Speaker 1: gonna give you face wipes. Those are the essentials. Oh,
Speaker 1: in a long chord because you don't know where the
Speaker 1: outlet's going to be. Yeah, So we're gonna take a
Speaker 1: quick break and when we come back, I will be
Speaker 1: answering your biggest questions about what to expect during labor. Okay, mom,
Speaker 1: So how can you tell real labor from false labor? Well,
Speaker 1: I guess say most moms do know labor when they
Speaker 1: feel it. But I'm not gonna lie because I never lie.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it isn't that easy to tell, and you just
Speaker 1: have to ask my twenty four year old self, who
Speaker 1: didn't know the difference or didn't want to know the difference.
Speaker 1: But that's because false labor, like real labor, comes with
Speaker 1: contractions and those contractions can hurt a lot. So how
Speaker 1: about instead of calling it false labor because it's not
Speaker 1: like you're faking it. You're in actual pain. Let's call
Speaker 1: it by its medical term, which is prodromal labor. And basically,
Speaker 1: you have contractions that feel real and they're way more
Speaker 1: intense than bracts and hicks. But though they can give
Speaker 1: your uterousal workout, and they definitely give you a workout,
Speaker 1: they don't much work on your cervix and they don't
Speaker 1: increase in intensity or frequency like real labor does. And
Speaker 1: another big difference is that if you get up, you
Speaker 1: walk around, you change position, then they tend to ease up. Now,
Speaker 1: the really frustrating part with true prodroma labor is that
Speaker 1: the contractions can literally come on strong as can be,
Speaker 1: and then poof, they disappear for hours even days before
Speaker 1: they come back. And you might have them all night
Speaker 1: one night, and then in the morning you wake up,
Speaker 1: you know you're all packed for the hospital, and poofs
Speaker 1: they disappear again. So real labor contractions, on the other hand,
Speaker 1: they may not fit neatly into a textbook definition like
Speaker 1: for instance, mine weren't perfectly spaced at regular intervals, but
Speaker 1: they do intensify overtime and they become more frequent overtime,
Speaker 1: and sometimes it's a long time and sometimes it's a
Speaker 1: short time. And even when you're up and about, they
Speaker 1: don't let up. They feel like really bad menstrual cramps.
Speaker 1: So you might feel them in your lower back, in
Speaker 1: your lower abdomen, your groin, the top of your thighs,
Speaker 1: your butt. I remember feeling them really strongly in my butt.
Speaker 1: And you might feel pressured too, and oh joy, you
Speaker 1: might have nausea and indigestion and diarrhea too. But if
Speaker 1: you're not sure, I beg you, when in doubt, check
Speaker 1: that servix out. Not yourself, but go get it checked
Speaker 1: out by a doctor midwife. Oh so you can't, like
Speaker 1: watch a YouTube video, they'll like learn how to do that, right,
Speaker 1: I would kind of why not suggest that? Okay, so
Speaker 1: what about Braxton hicks? Because I had Braxton hicks for
Speaker 1: a long time was sub ashton, like months and months
Speaker 1: and months, and I actually kind of learned to enjoy them.
Speaker 1: You know, it kind of felt like you're about to
Speaker 1: poop sometimes, right, That's like you feel like that pressure
Speaker 1: and then it yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean Braxton hicks.
Speaker 1: It's your uterus flexing its muscles. They're just practice contractions,
Speaker 1: but they can start as early as twenty weeks, sometimes
Speaker 1: even earlier. And weirdly enough, even though their practice contractions,
Speaker 1: they're felt more tensely and earlier in moms who have
Speaker 1: popped a couple of babies before. And that's the let's
Speaker 1: are abdominal and uterine muscles talking. You feel like a
Speaker 1: tightening sensation. Your belly gets super tight and pointy. It's
Speaker 1: almost like an alien shape, right, It's very very hard.
Speaker 1: And then the main thing is if you get up
Speaker 1: and have a glass of water, because braxton hicks can
Speaker 1: be brought on by being dehydrated. You have a glass
Speaker 1: of water, maybe two glasses of water, you take a
Speaker 1: walk around, you change your position, and then they back off.
Speaker 1: But one thing, speaking of backs, you don't feel them
Speaker 1: in your back. You feel them all up front, and
Speaker 1: that's one way that you can tell that they're bracks
Speaker 1: and hicks. Okay, so mom, one of the best time
Speaker 1: to start timing both contractions, well, I mean, you can
Speaker 1: start any time just to see if they're getting progressively
Speaker 1: closer together, but it's really best not to become a
Speaker 1: clockwatcher because if you do, you're gonna just you know,
Speaker 1: get burnt out early on, and this this could take
Speaker 1: a while, right, And plus if if the contractions start
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, you know, and they're
Speaker 1: pretty far apart, you want to at least try to
Speaker 1: get some sleep. It's gonna be hard, you know, you're
Speaker 1: so excited and you're so nervous, but it's best to
Speaker 1: try to get some sleep. And of course, don't worry,
Speaker 1: because it's not like you're going to sleep through labor.
Speaker 1: Gosh know, inadvertently and end up with a baby in
Speaker 1: her bed. Wouldn't it be the coolest thing though? That
Speaker 1: would be so nice dream. I mean, ideally, wait until
Speaker 1: they're at least ten minutes apart or closer. And by
Speaker 1: the way, you do, time them just the same way
Speaker 1: that you time newborn feedings. So from the beginning of
Speaker 1: one to the start of the next, not from the
Speaker 1: end of one to the beginning of the next. When
Speaker 1: should you call a doctor when you start feeling the contractions, Like,
Speaker 1: at what point she'd be like, hey, I gotta call
Speaker 1: a doctor. Super early labor can actually happen, start happening
Speaker 1: before you even notice it. You might dilate in a
Speaker 1: face slowly over days or even weeks. You know a
Speaker 1: lot of moms will say, well, you know, doctor says,
Speaker 1: I'm two centimeters, so you know I'm going to go
Speaker 1: into labor any day now. Well maybe not so much,
Speaker 1: because it can be really gradual before your contractions start
Speaker 1: really coming in hot. So when to call the doctor
Speaker 1: midwife is the best to have that conversation before you
Speaker 1: go into labor ahead of time. But when in doubt,
Speaker 1: like I always say, get it checked out and let
Speaker 1: the contractions. When you do call, let them speak for themselves.
Speaker 1: Like I tried. My heart is to be polite when
Speaker 1: I called the doctor, of course, and so I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm fine. So the doctors like, oh, it doesn't sound
Speaker 1: like anything's going on there, So yeah, don't do that.
Speaker 1: You'll probably be told to go to the hospital when
Speaker 1: they're about five minutes apart, but you might need to
Speaker 1: go sooner if you live far from the hospital or
Speaker 1: if you have traffic, because you don't want to get
Speaker 1: stuck in traffic. And definitely call it any time if
Speaker 1: your water is broken or if you have any bright
Speaker 1: red bleeding. And for sure it's really important to call
Speaker 1: if you're having anything that seems like it could be
Speaker 1: labor and you're not yet term, like before thirty seven weeks.
Speaker 1: Really important to call and as we discuss, don't drive
Speaker 1: yourself to the hospital. That is why God invented uber.
Speaker 1: Okay for next time? Emo Okay, So not my finest moment,
Speaker 1: not my finest moment. It all worked out. So what
Speaker 1: is the mucus plug and how do you know when
Speaker 1: it comes out? And does it have to come out
Speaker 1: before you're in labor? So I love talking mucus plugs,
Speaker 1: so let's do it. It's a gelatinous it's like son
Speaker 1: of blob. Is like a blob like barrier that keeps
Speaker 1: your cervix court during pregnancy. I cannot tell you how
Speaker 1: many moms have d m to me in the past,
Speaker 1: showing me pictures of what they lost in the toilet
Speaker 1: or in their underwear and they're wondering if it's there,
Speaker 1: their mucus plug. And it's really it's hard to miss
Speaker 1: unless you're like a flush and rush type of gal,
Speaker 1: you know. But I would pay attention in the last
Speaker 1: week so it can come out a little at a
Speaker 1: time or in bigger chunks, and it happens, you know,
Speaker 1: usually as you start to dilate in a face. But
Speaker 1: it's not a sign that labor is about to start.
Speaker 1: You can lose it weeks ahead or not lose it
Speaker 1: at all ahead of time. I lost mine. I think
Speaker 1: it was about three weeks before my due date, and
Speaker 1: then you were nine days late. Don't worry. Also that
Speaker 1: a lot of moms worried that if they lose it
Speaker 1: ahead of time, that the baby is not going to
Speaker 1: be protected anymore, you know, by that barrier. But your
Speaker 1: body wisely keeps producing cervical mucus to protect the cervix
Speaker 1: and your baby and keep them you know, nice and
Speaker 1: snugg and sealed off, which means, by the way, that
Speaker 1: you can still have sex if you want to, or
Speaker 1: have a bath, not after water is broken, but after
Speaker 1: we've lost your mucus plug. I lost my mucus plug. It.
Speaker 1: Babies are us, Yes, I remember I was in the
Speaker 1: bathroom with you and you shared it with me. I
Speaker 1: did see. It's the perk of having you with you
Speaker 1: with me while I lost it. Otherwise I would have
Speaker 1: sent you a photo like the women d M. However,
Speaker 1: I gave birth twenty four hours later, so that's not
Speaker 1: I mean, it can happen. It's just not a sure
Speaker 1: thing that you're going to go into labor without twenty
Speaker 1: four hours. Okay, So what about the bloody show? So
Speaker 1: bloody show is a different story. It does mean that
Speaker 1: it's showtime, or at least go time, or go really
Speaker 1: really really soon time. When you see the bloody show
Speaker 1: on your toilet paper and your panties, it means that
Speaker 1: labor is only a day tops two days away. And
Speaker 1: unlike the mucus plug, which is clear, it's it's a
Speaker 1: mucazee discharge that's pink tinged or brown with blood, and
Speaker 1: that means that your servix is really getting busy and
Speaker 1: that you're starting to break capitalaries down there. But if
Speaker 1: it's bright red, you have any bright red bleeding at all,
Speaker 1: call your doctor right away, and definitely call if you
Speaker 1: have any change in your discharge and you're not yet term. Okay,
Speaker 1: And what really happens when your water breaks? You know
Speaker 1: something about this. My water didn't break either time before labor,
Speaker 1: and it happens, I would say a hundred percent of
Speaker 1: the time in movies, including the What to Expect when
Speaker 1: You're Expecting movie. That was not my idea, but everybody's
Speaker 1: water broke in real life, your water breaks only fifteen
Speaker 1: percent of the time before labor starts. The rest of
Speaker 1: the time, your membranes ruptured during labor spontaneously or sometimes
Speaker 1: the doctor midwife will break them in order to get
Speaker 1: the contractions kickstarted, and some babies are even born with
Speaker 1: their sacks intact, which is completely safe and actually super
Speaker 1: cool to see. I love videos. Isn't that the coolest thing?
Speaker 1: But if your water breaks, you might feel gush if
Speaker 1: you're lying down, and if you're standing up, you might
Speaker 1: only feel a trickle because baby's head is acting like
Speaker 1: a cork in a bottle. But um, it also depends
Speaker 1: on how big the rupture is and where it's located.
Speaker 1: And usually you're going to get contractions within twelve hours
Speaker 1: of feeling that first trickle, but call your your doctor
Speaker 1: midwife right away no matter what, and if your contractions
Speaker 1: don't start on their own, then you'll be induced, definitely
Speaker 1: within twenty four hours to prevent infection, but more likely
Speaker 1: far far soon, or some doctors induced as early as
Speaker 1: six hours twelve hours, and call immediately if your If
Speaker 1: your water breaks and the fluid isn't clear, if it's
Speaker 1: murky dark green, or you're not full term. Yet I'm
Speaker 1: not even convinced that my first labor I even broke
Speaker 1: my water, because I don't remember any sort of water
Speaker 1: at any point during my labor, or I think you
Speaker 1: would have noticed it before, but during you know, in
Speaker 1: the moment, you don't notice. And there's so many there's
Speaker 1: so many wet feelings anyway, that exactly so many sensations
Speaker 1: that you're not gonna, not necessarily going to notice. So
Speaker 1: what's the difference between that and membrane stripping. Membrane stripping
Speaker 1: is something that doctors do routinely, Some of them do
Speaker 1: anyway to try to jump start labor when a mom's
Speaker 1: do date rolls around and there ain't nothing happening. And
Speaker 1: sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work. It's super low tech.
Speaker 1: They just use a finger to gently separate the amniotic
Speaker 1: sack from the uterus, and the hope is that this
Speaker 1: procedure will release prostaglandins that can get the labor party started,
Speaker 1: and it might happen within a few days, or it
Speaker 1: might not. Sometimes, say repeat the procedure a couple of times,
Speaker 1: but it's not a slam dunk, doesn't hurt. It can
Speaker 1: be a little uncomfortable, but some moms really don't feel
Speaker 1: much at all. You probably will feel some cramping afterwards,
Speaker 1: and the hope is that you're going to get the
Speaker 1: cramps that you really really want, which the labor contractions.
Speaker 1: So can I eat and drink and labor because I
Speaker 1: remember I had jello and chicken broth. I was so
Speaker 1: hungry at that point. It was literally like I was
Speaker 1: at like a Michelin star meal. It was amazing. It
Speaker 1: depends a lot on hospital policy and on doctor policy,
Speaker 1: but the research, the latest research shows that eating and
Speaker 1: drinking actually helps speed things along. And plus, in my
Speaker 1: humble opinion, it's just playing mean not to let a
Speaker 1: mom eat or drink if she's hungry and thirsty, and
Speaker 1: also she needs her energy more than ever. So that said,
Speaker 1: they'll definitely encourage you to eat very lightly, so maybe
Speaker 1: an apple, sauce of popsicles, some jello or broth, but
Speaker 1: not a big mac, okay, even if you're super hungry,
Speaker 1: And the truth is you might only want ice chips
Speaker 1: because you're not likely to be super hungry. Although Emma,
Speaker 1: you're an exception to every rule, right, so hungry and
Speaker 1: they want you to have something that's easy to digest
Speaker 1: since your body's already working overtime on labor, so you
Speaker 1: don't want to add the job of digesting a pepperoni
Speaker 1: pizza or anything. And plus you might have nausea or
Speaker 1: vomiting and indigestion. Not every mom does, but you might.
Speaker 1: You don't need to encourage that with a with a
Speaker 1: good bomb. And of course, if you need a c section,
Speaker 1: your schedule for a c section, you're not going to
Speaker 1: be allowed to eat or drink. Sorry, who is always
Speaker 1: in the room during labor, Well, hopefully your partner will
Speaker 1: be there, and that's a good reason in fact, to
Speaker 1: pack in your hospital bag a lot of snacks for him.
Speaker 1: Probably stick to ones that don't have a strong link
Speaker 1: onion smell, because you're not going to be in the
Speaker 1: mood for it even if he is. But that way
Speaker 1: he doesn't have to go scrounging for snacks in the
Speaker 1: hospital and he doesn't have to leave your side. If
Speaker 1: you have a duela, which I highly recommend you try
Speaker 1: to get, you'll have a doula and your partner and
Speaker 1: nurses come in periodically. You'll have one for each shift,
Speaker 1: and hopefully you won't have to labor through too many shifts.
Speaker 1: That's the goal, and of course the doctor or midwife
Speaker 1: comes in for the grand finale, but midwives tend to
Speaker 1: spend more time with you. I wanted to punch my
Speaker 1: husband in the face when he was eating when I
Speaker 1: was in labor, was so jealous. I love him though,
Speaker 1: love him. I had a whole gang in there. You know,
Speaker 1: the more the merrier, like the whole family I had.
Speaker 1: My mother in law watched the birth. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1: The more than as long as they stay out the
Speaker 1: danger zone, come on in. Can I walk around during labor?
Speaker 1: You actually can, and you should because it helps baby
Speaker 1: move down into position and helps you feel more comfortable.
Speaker 1: But you can't walk if you have an epidural, And
Speaker 1: if you have an epidural, you have to stay in bed.
Speaker 1: Even if you have what they call a walking epidural,
Speaker 1: you're not going to be very mobile and you're not
Speaker 1: gonna want to go anywhere. And when can I get
Speaker 1: that epidural? So if you're sure there's an epidural with
Speaker 1: your name on it, Emma, like I'm no herod ask
Speaker 1: when you get to the hospital, which I'm sure you
Speaker 1: did as soon as you got to the hospital. There's
Speaker 1: no need to wait until you're a certain number of
Speaker 1: centimeters dilated. As soon as there's an anathesiologist handy, you
Speaker 1: can have one. And anyway, you're probably not going to
Speaker 1: be admitted till at least four centimeters. Some hospitals wait
Speaker 1: until you're six centimeters so you'll be ready. You'll be ready.
Speaker 1: You know. Everyone always says, oh my gosh, and movies,
Speaker 1: especially like epidurals hurt so badly. I didn't even feel
Speaker 1: it both times. You're not supposed to. I mean, Mom's
Speaker 1: stress about it, but it's really it's pretty easy. You know.
Speaker 1: I would say, you say you're not a hero. I
Speaker 1: would say every mom is a hero, whether she has
Speaker 1: an epidural or not. And every mom has a different
Speaker 1: threshold for pain. Yours is extra extra extra low and
Speaker 1: mine is extra extra extra high. And the other thing
Speaker 1: is it's your body. It's your business, whether you have
Speaker 1: an epidural or not. I think I meant, don't have
Speaker 1: to prove anything at that moment. You know, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't need to show that I
Speaker 1: am I'm stronger than I am because I'm not and
Speaker 1: I can't handle pain, and I'm about to you feel
Speaker 1: it anyway. It's not like we have an epidural like
Speaker 1: it's like a magical unicorn. No, it's you still have
Speaker 1: to push. You're still giving birth. You just won't be
Speaker 1: as painful, but still, and some moms feel less than
Speaker 1: others do some sometimes, you know, very rarely there's still
Speaker 1: a lot of sensation, or there might be sensation on
Speaker 1: one side. But for the most part, they work really
Speaker 1: well and you you can push with them, but it
Speaker 1: just might take a little while longer, and you you
Speaker 1: don't exactly know when the contractions are coming if you
Speaker 1: don't feel them, and that's the goal, So then somebody's
Speaker 1: gonna have to tell you when the contraction comes to
Speaker 1: you know when to push. And now is there a
Speaker 1: right way to push? I mean, basically the opposite of
Speaker 1: how I push. Um actually the opposite of how I
Speaker 1: pushed as well, especially the first time I pushed with
Speaker 1: my face and I broke all the blood vessels in
Speaker 1: my face, so I was covered with bruises. I think
Speaker 1: my eyes were bloodshot too. That's a really ineffective way
Speaker 1: to push, and it did take me a really long time.
Speaker 1: What you need to do is relax your face, relax
Speaker 1: your neck, relax your upper body, relax your chest and
Speaker 1: your thighs, and then push as if you're pooping, pooping
Speaker 1: out the biggest poop of your life. And those are
Speaker 1: the muscles that you want to use. Those are the
Speaker 1: muscles in your vagine, in your rectum. And if you
Speaker 1: tuck your chin to your chest and you look down
Speaker 1: past your belly, that will help remind you of where
Speaker 1: the pushing should be happening, and then you can follow
Speaker 1: the urges if you have them. Some moms have them,
Speaker 1: some moms don't. To push. You can do what comes naturally.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's going to be pushing several times during the
Speaker 1: same contraction. Maybe it's gonna just be giving it you're
Speaker 1: all with one big push. But that's where adula can
Speaker 1: come in. A really supportive nurse, even you know your
Speaker 1: doctor and midwife can redirect you or direct you if
Speaker 1: you're having trouble with pushing, and to get into the
Speaker 1: right position too, because flat on your back isn't the
Speaker 1: best way to push. Semi sitting, semi squatting, all fours,
Speaker 1: but of course you can't do those with an epidural. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I worried about pooping. In fact, it was my
Speaker 1: biggest fear during labor because I had just met my husband. Sure,
Speaker 1: he got me pregnant, but I remember telling the nurse,
Speaker 1: I said, I'm I can't poop in front of him.
Speaker 1: So that was my biggest fear, and I think that's
Speaker 1: part of the reason why I was so bad at pushing.
Speaker 1: The truth is that poop happens during labor, and if
Speaker 1: you try to push while you're trying not to poop,
Speaker 1: consciously trying not to poop, then you're not going to
Speaker 1: get anywhere, and your baby's not gonna get anywhere, and
Speaker 1: you might poop a little bit anyway, And that was
Speaker 1: definitely part of your problem because you were consciously trying
Speaker 1: not to poop, and so you weren't pushing effectively. I
Speaker 1: was also super constipated, so gosh, only knew like what
Speaker 1: was going to come out at that point. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: actually a lot of moms have have diarrhea in early labor,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that's a blessing. I can't even imagine having
Speaker 1: diarrhea in front of him. Are you kidding? No? No,
Speaker 1: not not, I'm not in the hospital bed. No, I'm
Speaker 1: talking when you poop during waver it's just during pushing.
Speaker 1: It's just little drops and they wipe it away so
Speaker 1: fast that you don't even notice it. And it's not
Speaker 1: like they haven't seen it before. Yeah, but what about
Speaker 1: tearing and stretching, and everybody worries about that. The good
Speaker 1: news is that vaginas are built to take it. They're
Speaker 1: remarkably elastic, and they have these ingenious accordion like folds,
Speaker 1: so they they open up to accommodate the baby's head
Speaker 1: and then they gradually return, you know, close to original size.
Speaker 1: I mean close, not necessarily precisely the same, but it's
Speaker 1: usually not a difference that's perceptible. Paraneum's on the other
Speaker 1: and that's the area between your vagina and your rectum
Speaker 1: aren't so stretchable. So massaging them in the last weeks
Speaker 1: of pregnancy, you you know, with a finger and a
Speaker 1: little lubrication, very clean finger, it might definitely that can
Speaker 1: help gradually stretch your paraneum and get ready for babies exit.
Speaker 1: But it only works in first pregnancies. It won't work
Speaker 1: if you're having your second or third because it's already
Speaker 1: stretched as much as it's going to stretch during labor
Speaker 1: and delivery. Using warm compresses and massage can help any mom,
Speaker 1: and tears happen, I mean, tears are common. Most moms
Speaker 1: get a tear, usually a minor one. They're more easily
Speaker 1: repaired and recovered from then the old school of pi.
Speaker 1: Theotomy is that I had to have both times those
Speaker 1: really hurt and kegels, woman, keegels, kegels early. Often our
Speaker 1: second labor is always easier than the first, and are
Speaker 1: they usually shorter? Well, every labor is different, so there's
Speaker 1: no such thing is always, but all other things being equal,
Speaker 1: it tends to be a little shorter, but especially the
Speaker 1: pushing phase. So that's because the situation down below is
Speaker 1: just a little more relaxed. So the first time three
Speaker 1: and a half hours for me, the second time twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: And both of you had really pretty epic size heads.
Speaker 1: So what's the likelihood that I'll give birth on my
Speaker 1: due date? It's really low. Five percent of babies arrive
Speaker 1: on their due date. So I, of course, because I
Speaker 1: I hadn't read the book yet, I expected you to
Speaker 1: come on your due date. And we all know that
Speaker 1: you didn't. Nine days passed by. But but that's so me,
Speaker 1: so you but that's because DO date is shorthand for
Speaker 1: E D D, which is estimated DO date, and that's
Speaker 1: way more accurate because it's definitely more of an educated
Speaker 1: estimate than a short thing, unless, of course, you have
Speaker 1: a scheduled C section. So do people really give birth
Speaker 1: in their cars? And how common is it to not
Speaker 1: get to the hospital in time? Okay, so it does
Speaker 1: happen more often on TV, really happens rarely in real life,
Speaker 1: especially if you're a first time but even if you're
Speaker 1: a second time, but it happens. I remember her mom
Speaker 1: on my Facebook page who delivered in the Lincoln Tunnel
Speaker 1: during rush hour and she had a really nice cab driver,
Speaker 1: which was a plus given the circumstances. But that's super,
Speaker 1: super super uncommon. It's still a good case for one
Speaker 1: and out check it out. Don't wait for those contractions
Speaker 1: to be one on top of another. Yes, you want
Speaker 1: things to get real before you go to the hospital,
Speaker 1: but not like live at eleven reel. And if you
Speaker 1: had a really fast labor the first time or in
Speaker 1: a previous purse what they call precipitous labor, then you
Speaker 1: definitely want to plan on getting to the hospital earlier
Speaker 1: in the game, maybe camping out there in the last
Speaker 1: week just in case, and when we come back, it's
Speaker 1: helped me, Hidi, and now it's time for help me, Heidi.
Speaker 1: We're all answer you're pressing pregnancy and parenting and labor
Speaker 1: and delivery questions, No holds barred, no filter allowed, t
Speaker 1: m I, no such thing. We're all moms here or
Speaker 1: dad's and chances are if you have this question other
Speaker 1: parents due to you're not alone. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood,
Speaker 1: and we're here to help a sister out Emma who
Speaker 1: needs help today. Okay, so this comes from a listener
Speaker 1: who says, I'm so afraid of going past my due
Speaker 1: date and ending up to have to get induced or
Speaker 1: having a C section. Are there any tried and true
Speaker 1: ways to induce labor I can try at home? Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: let's just say there are many i Y labor induction
Speaker 1: methods that have been tried and if you have any
Speaker 1: truth to them, at least the kind of truth that
Speaker 1: researchers look for. So there's no scientific evidence to back
Speaker 1: up any of them. Still your overdue, then hope springs eternal,
Speaker 1: or let's say, desperation springs eternal. And if you're desperate
Speaker 1: enough to try anything, then there's no harm in trying
Speaker 1: these at home. We have a few first up as dates. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about the dates that you have with
Speaker 1: your sweetie, though you might want to stock up on
Speaker 1: those two while you have the chance, But the kind
Speaker 1: of dates that you eat. It seems like a random
Speaker 1: thing to study, but research shows that eating dates in
Speaker 1: the last months of pregnancy can lead to a shorter,
Speaker 1: easier labor. And who can argue with that? Mama's who munch?
Speaker 1: Dates appear more likely to go into labor spontaneously so
Speaker 1: that avoids labor induction, have a shorter first phase of labor,
Speaker 1: and have greater cervical dilation and admission to the hospital
Speaker 1: or birthing center. So you ask, what's in a date
Speaker 1: that makes it so labor friendly potentially, Well, I'm glad
Speaker 1: you asked. Dates have an oxytocin like effect on the body,
Speaker 1: go figure, helping to stimulate uterine contractions. They also have
Speaker 1: laxative effects like their dried fruit friend the prune, that
Speaker 1: stimulate the uterus along with the bowels. Now, how many
Speaker 1: dates will you have to pop to expedite becoming a mom?
Speaker 1: The researchers had. The expectant moms in the study eats
Speaker 1: six dates daily beginning at week thirty six of pregnancy.
Speaker 1: Just remember that dates are super high in fruit sugar,
Speaker 1: So if you've been instructed to mind your sweets due
Speaker 1: to gestational diabetes, ask your practitioner before you start dating
Speaker 1: that much. Then there is my preferred kind of date,
Speaker 1: the hot kind sex, of course. As you may have heard,
Speaker 1: or maybe you haven't heard yet, the prostaglandins in sperm may,
Speaker 1: like the prostaglandins and medications sometimes used to induce labor,
Speaker 1: help ripen your cervix, but only if conditions are otherwise
Speaker 1: ripe and ready. So sperm pack less potent prostaglandins and
Speaker 1: medications do, so I would say they're arguably more fun
Speaker 1: to use. And what's the downside? Like I always say,
Speaker 1: if sex works to get labor started, great and if
Speaker 1: it doesn't work, still great. And while we're at it,
Speaker 1: how about some nipple stimulation which actually sounds like more
Speaker 1: fun than it is. I'll tell you a funny story.
Speaker 1: During the filming of What To Expect When You're Expecting,
Speaker 1: we were on the set when the characters that were
Speaker 1: played by Elizabeth Banks and Bell Felcone. They were walking
Speaker 1: through the park to get labor started, and Chris Rock,
Speaker 1: who is the leader of the Dudes group, he yells
Speaker 1: out tweaker nipples and the director yells, God, God, Chris,
Speaker 1: that's that's not in the script. Why did you say that?
Speaker 1: And Chris, as I read it? And what to expect?
Speaker 1: So point point being hours of daily nipple stimulation, and
Speaker 1: where is Chris Rock likes to call it nipple tweaking
Speaker 1: may release enough oxytocin to get the labor party started,
Speaker 1: but it's no picnic and it can lead to painfully
Speaker 1: long and strong contractions plus super sore nipples, and you
Speaker 1: don't want to start breastfeeding that way, so don't. Don't
Speaker 1: try this one at home without your practitioners. Go ahead.
Speaker 1: Less painful is that walk in the park. It's not
Speaker 1: gonna necessarily make labor a walk in the park, but
Speaker 1: it's possible, at least in theory, that it might help
Speaker 1: ease the baby into your pelvis, pressuring your service to
Speaker 1: begin opening up. And the same theory applies to any
Speaker 1: vigorous exercise, including bouncing on a birthing ball, which was
Speaker 1: the last thing that Emma did before her labor with
Speaker 1: Lennox started. So coincidence who knows? And now onto her
Speaker 1: bals true story. I was nearly two weeks overdue when
Speaker 1: I gagged down a mug of raspberry leaf tea. I
Speaker 1: hate tea, but this tea was particularly vile and I
Speaker 1: don't know whether it was because it made me so
Speaker 1: nauseous or what. But two hours later, baby bingo. Another coincidence?
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe not. Some studies show that raspberry leaf tea,
Speaker 1: black Cohosh and evening primrose maybe just the ticket you
Speaker 1: need to hop on the labor express triggering or even
Speaker 1: speeding up contractions, but definitely check with your practitioner first
Speaker 1: about dozing and only go there if your baby bun
Speaker 1: is fully baked. Okay, can you order up labor on
Speaker 1: door Dash In the category of no harm, no foul,
Speaker 1: no proof. Some say that spicy foods, hot sauce, hot
Speaker 1: pot for alarm, chili, put a fire in your belly
Speaker 1: and then show your baby to the exit or Italian food.
Speaker 1: Some say it's the balsamic vinegar in the labor salad.
Speaker 1: Others say it's the herbs and the tomato sauce. Still
Speaker 1: Others swear it's the eggplant and the eggplant parmesan that
Speaker 1: edge them closer to labor, or pineapple, which contains the
Speaker 1: enzyme broma lane, which when consumed in large quantities, some
Speaker 1: believe may contribute to cervical ripening and possibly contractions. Something
Speaker 1: to explore if you're pining for labor now, if you're
Speaker 1: counting on castor oil, you might want to count that
Speaker 1: out instead. This is a powerful laxative, tastes disgusting too,
Speaker 1: and it's definitely going to stimulate your bells, which in
Speaker 1: theory could stimulate your uterus into contracting. But do you
Speaker 1: really want to start labor if it does work with
Speaker 1: diarrhea and severe cramping and vomiting, I'm going to go
Speaker 1: with not. Definitely, don't try this one at home. The
Speaker 1: truth is, and it's not a truth that overdue moms
Speaker 1: really want to hear, is that babies usually come when
Speaker 1: they're good and ready, and often that's long after their
Speaker 1: moms are done and done and done with pregnancy, which
Speaker 1: leaves you to play the waiting game, knowing only that
Speaker 1: your time will come eventually and that your practitioner will
Speaker 1: induce you if not. And as for when that induction
Speaker 1: might happen. If the baby doesn't come, that depends on
Speaker 1: how you and your baby are doing. If all is well,
Speaker 1: definitely not before thirty nine weeks, and almost always by
Speaker 1: forty one or forty two weeks. We don't have time, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: to talk today about c sections and feedbacks, but we
Speaker 1: will in another episode, and we're also going to talk
Speaker 1: in another episode about birth plans and all your birth options.
Speaker 1: But in the meantime you can find so much more
Speaker 1: about labor and delivery and what to expect when you're
Speaker 1: expecting and on the what to expect app So, Emma,
Speaker 1: what's your message to moms who are terrified about going
Speaker 1: into labor? I feel like that was me. But the
Speaker 1: bottom line is, and this is why I always tell everybody,
Speaker 1: if I can do it, I have given birth vaginally
Speaker 1: to two babies, and if I can do it, you
Speaker 1: can do a man's sister. The truth is, your body
Speaker 1: knows exactly what to do, even if your mind doesn't.
Speaker 1: If your mind is freaking out, what do you think
Speaker 1: the baby's just gonna stay in there? No, your vagina,
Speaker 1: your body, your cervix, it's all going to work together
Speaker 1: and the baby will come out one way or another.
Speaker 1: The other good news is that if your body doesn't
Speaker 1: know what to do, at least you have a doctor
Speaker 1: or midwife who does know what to do. Amen to
Speaker 1: that too. Yes, love me a good midwife and doctor.
Speaker 1: And I say take your child birth classes, read up,
Speaker 1: learn as much as you can, and then chill out.
Speaker 1: Good luck, moms, good luck, you got this? Who baby
Speaker 1: love a baby belove. I need you, Oh hell, I
Speaker 1: need you. Thanks for listening. Remember, I'm always here for you.
Speaker 1: What to Expect is always here for you, who are
Speaker 1: all in this together. For more on what you heard
Speaker 1: on today's episode, visit what to Expect dot com slash podcast.
Speaker 1: You can also check out what to Expect when You're Expecting,
Speaker 1: What to Expect the First Year, and the what to
Speaker 1: Expect app. And we want to hear from you. Connect
Speaker 1: with us on our community message board or on our
Speaker 1: social media. You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and
Speaker 1: Emma at Emma Being wt E and of course at
Speaker 1: What to Expect. Baby Love is performed by Riley Bader.
Speaker 1: What to Expect is a production of I Heart Radio.
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