1
00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,359
Speaker 1: Wind down with Jane Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.

2
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:11,879
Speaker 2: Happy New Year five. I love this crazy here. So

3
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,560
Speaker 2: excited to ring in the new year with you girls,

4
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,920
Speaker 2: and I can't wait to chat about it all next time.

5
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,120
Speaker 3: We chat next time.

6
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:23,120
Speaker 2: Time today, But we have a very special guest waiting

7
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:28,600
Speaker 2: in the waiting room. Her name is Gabrielle Bernstein. She's phenomenal,

8
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 2: She's an amazing motivational speaker. She's got a new book

9
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Speaker 2: out called self Help. This is your chance to change

10
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,360
Speaker 2: your life. Given it's twenty twenty five and a new year,

11
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:43,000
Speaker 2: let's all get on the journey. Hi, guys, Gabrielle Bernstein,

12
00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,480
Speaker 2: you dreamboat, get in here. Every time I say your name,

13
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,960
Speaker 2: and this is probably just my childhood, but the Bernstein

14
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:54,880
Speaker 2: you know the book, Thank you, but that's where I go.

15
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:59,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, we're the best. There was so good anyways,

16
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:00,240
Speaker 2: but not as.

17
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,720
Speaker 3: Good as your bucks. I don't remember anything about the

18
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,640
Speaker 3: baron Steed Bears. To be very honest with you, I

19
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,240
Speaker 3: don't have any Mabby. How old are you forty five?

20
00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:10,480
Speaker 2: Okay? Yeah, I thought we were all kind of like

21
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,160
Speaker 2: ish the same seas.

22
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:14,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, how old are you girls?

23
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,560
Speaker 2: How old are you, guys, I just turned forty one

24
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,480
Speaker 2: forty forty three almost in a month. Well, no, this

25
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,279
Speaker 2: is airs in January, so sorry, Oh forty three forty.

26
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,080
Speaker 3: Five is another level of all of this.

27
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,520
Speaker 2: Hey, what is the difference between forty five and we're

28
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,800
Speaker 2: forty collagen forty one to forty three?

29
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:38,240
Speaker 3: In my experience, Harry menopause? Uh huh, girls, call me,

30
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:39,560
Speaker 3: get my number.

31
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,760
Speaker 2: I will be What is the number one thing that

32
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,240
Speaker 2: you're experiencing with perry montpause?

33
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,800
Speaker 3: Well, I'm not experiencing any of it anymore because I'm

34
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,920
Speaker 3: on HRT. I'm on hormone replacement therapy. Think the Good

35
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,560
Speaker 3: Lord and saved my life. The new message is like,

36
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,600
Speaker 3: get on it earlier and get ahead of it. And

37
00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,600
Speaker 3: it's the best thing that ever happens to me, because

38
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, I probably needed this a decade ago

39
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,160
Speaker 3: because I think I was in perimenopause. You can go

40
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:08,040
Speaker 3: into perimenopause about ten should we record this? Are we're recording?

41
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,160
Speaker 3: Go good, We'll believe the thuck.

42
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,160
Speaker 2: Don't worry. I don't.

43
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,760
Speaker 3: I don't believe any fuck No, actually I do. So

44
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,840
Speaker 3: we go into perimenopause about ten years before we're actually

45
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,600
Speaker 3: in menopause. And so when I was in my mid thirties,

46
00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:26,640
Speaker 3: I was like sweating at night, having brain fog, I

47
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,880
Speaker 3: was having fertility. It took me till thirty nine to

48
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,520
Speaker 3: conceive to deliver my son. So there was all these things,

49
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,480
Speaker 3: but I was never informed that this was these were

50
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,840
Speaker 3: perimenopausal symptoms. And then I did a lot of IVF

51
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:44,000
Speaker 3: later in life for a second pregnancy, which which unfortunately

52
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,480
Speaker 3: did not lat I couldn't keep. But that really busted

53
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,880
Speaker 3: out all my eggs and so then I went into perimenopause.

54
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,639
Speaker 3: I went into very close you know, really in close

55
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:58,919
Speaker 3: to menopausal numbers now at forty five. And the miracle

56
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,320
Speaker 3: is that I learned everything I could about it, became

57
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,799
Speaker 3: an expert in menopause. So if you ever need my help,

58
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:06,440
Speaker 3: I'm here for you.

59
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,080
Speaker 2: And I love that well definitely will be you know,

60
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,480
Speaker 2: like let the patch.

61
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,120
Speaker 3: I've got my estrogen, my progesterone and my estrogen on

62
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,320
Speaker 3: my face, like the whole thing.

63
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,720
Speaker 2: I have a question and the just when you get

64
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,560
Speaker 2: because you know you're a motivational speaker, you have all

65
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,160
Speaker 2: these books about being your best self and how to

66
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:30,400
Speaker 2: get there, and when you struggle, what do you what

67
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:34,000
Speaker 2: is the best tip that you take from everything that

68
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,120
Speaker 2: you talk about, or like what's I guess where's where

69
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,400
Speaker 2: do you struggle? And then what's the thing that helps

70
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,640
Speaker 2: you kind of get back up?

71
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,640
Speaker 3: Well, the answer to getting back up actually is what's

72
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,480
Speaker 3: in the new book. So this is my tenth book

73
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,400
Speaker 3: self help, and the four step practice it's in that

74
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,560
Speaker 3: book is something I do every single day because it's

75
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,520
Speaker 3: the thing that saved my life, and that's why I've

76
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,960
Speaker 3: decided to write an entire book about it. And so

77
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,520
Speaker 3: I'll talk to you a lot about that a lot today.

78
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:02,720
Speaker 3: But but I think I've hit big bottoms in my life,

79
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:06,400
Speaker 3: really big bottoms. We all have. Everyone here has had

80
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:11,160
Speaker 3: experiences that have been really tough. And for me, my

81
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,280
Speaker 3: girlfriend was talking with me the other day and she's like,

82
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,920
Speaker 3: you know, we all have tough moments, but you've got

83
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:21,919
Speaker 3: some tsunamis, Gabby. I was like, got some tsunamis. And so,

84
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,719
Speaker 3: like these kind of conversations of these these experiential moments

85
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:30,880
Speaker 3: and time like postpartum or perimenopause or fertility, for me,

86
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:35,720
Speaker 3: they were tsunamis. And right now, this most recent experience

87
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:40,119
Speaker 3: of being hit with really hardcore menopause and and being

88
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:45,839
Speaker 3: really thrown into emotional upheaval. My brain wasn't working. My

89
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,200
Speaker 3: most extreme rage I've ever felt in my life, like

90
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,359
Speaker 3: if I had had a I could have murdered. You know,

91
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,320
Speaker 3: That's where I was at. And that's not an uncommon thing,

92
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,240
Speaker 3: but it doesn't happen to everyone, but for me, it

93
00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,040
Speaker 3: was so extreme. So there's two things that happened, and

94
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,920
Speaker 3: I had to realize, Okay, this is a hormonal imbalance,

95
00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 3: and no amount of self help or personal development or

96
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,000
Speaker 3: spiritual connection can actually save me here other than prayer,

97
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:13,479
Speaker 3: prayer for answers, and prayer for medical support. That was it, right,

98
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,560
Speaker 3: because you have to know the difference. If you're having

99
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:21,279
Speaker 3: a biochemical condition or you're having a hormonal upheaval. Your

100
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,719
Speaker 3: self help tools are only going to be able to

101
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,640
Speaker 3: get you so far, but you're going to need medical

102
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,800
Speaker 3: support period. That's the answer. And I want to always

103
00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:32,200
Speaker 3: go on the record saying that because I'm never going

104
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:39,040
Speaker 3: to spiritually whitewash our hormonal or brain issues. Yeah, Okay,

105
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:43,039
Speaker 3: it's just too important to say that. But now that

106
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,000
Speaker 3: I'm back at baseline, I'm not losing my mind anymore.

107
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,640
Speaker 3: My self help tools really work.

108
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,760
Speaker 2: And which are helpless.

109
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,679
Speaker 3: So right now I think that the greatest, the greatest

110
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,320
Speaker 3: contribution I can give people is the four steps inside

111
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,000
Speaker 3: self Help. So the book is called self Help. This

112
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,440
Speaker 3: is your Chance to change your life, and it's based

113
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,359
Speaker 3: on a therapy that changed my life, and I, with

114
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,080
Speaker 3: the blessing of the founder of this therapy called Internal

115
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:13,000
Speaker 3: Family Systems Therapy, I went on and became trained in it,

116
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,200
Speaker 3: became a practitioner in this therapy, and then with the

117
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,280
Speaker 3: blessing of Dick Schwartz, the founder, wrote a self help

118
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,919
Speaker 3: book based on the therapy. So the book is my method.

119
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:26,680
Speaker 3: It's a self help method, but it's informed by the

120
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:31,200
Speaker 3: principles of a world renowned therapy. And the book is

121
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:35,279
Speaker 3: there to help us heal the core beliefs and patterns

122
00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,359
Speaker 3: and sort of the maybe we call them bad habits

123
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:43,160
Speaker 3: or protection mechanisms that have been holding us back. And

124
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,200
Speaker 3: we all can probably identify one or more beliefs or

125
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,320
Speaker 3: patterns or behaviors that we may find undesirable. Yeah, you

126
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,839
Speaker 3: guys with me on that. And if I were to

127
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,080
Speaker 3: ask you how long of those beliefs or patterns or

128
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,880
Speaker 3: behavior has been around, what might you say?

129
00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:03,640
Speaker 2: I mean some stem from childhood six is usually my

130
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 2: childhood six, thirteen and thirty middle mid thirties are like

131
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:15,800
Speaker 2: my pivotal like on nineteen yeah.

132
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say since nineteen eighty two, so when

133
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,960
Speaker 4: you were little, yeah yeah, solid. I mean so much

134
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,160
Speaker 4: even if we don't remember, is already in our DNA

135
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,200
Speaker 4: when we're growing up in tumultuous, crazy environments like that.

136
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:27,720
Speaker 3: And so that's right.

137
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,000
Speaker 4: That is actually one of my questions for you, because

138
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,880
Speaker 4: I know that you grew up kind of like a

139
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,360
Speaker 4: little bit anchored in spirituality, right because your mom isn't

140
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,480
Speaker 4: your mom as a spiritual person, right, So you had

141
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,520
Speaker 4: that like kind of grounding force. And I got really

142
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,880
Speaker 4: excited when I learned what this book was about because

143
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,200
Speaker 4: I think I've done a lot of therapy, also a

144
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,120
Speaker 4: lot of hormone replacement therapy, so I feel like I'm

145
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,200
Speaker 4: at a good base, but so much.

146
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,560
Speaker 2: Of those like last little bits of like lid that.

147
00:07:56,520 --> 00:08:00,080
Speaker 4: I still put on myself, I think are still and

148
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,760
Speaker 4: I've done EMDR and all of that mean like I'm.

149
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,720
Speaker 2: In Gabby, I'm trying. You're my girl, but I can

150
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,880
Speaker 2: tell that there's still a couple of.

151
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,040
Speaker 4: Things and it's not that I don't believe in myself.

152
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,920
Speaker 4: Actually like myself for the first time, so that's exceptional.

153
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,680
Speaker 4: Like I actually like really dig me, which feels good

154
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,920
Speaker 4: to say out loud, but there's still something that's whispering

155
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,800
Speaker 4: in the back. Yeah, and internal family system stuff really

156
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,560
Speaker 4: does shape who we are.

157
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, well let me clarify that for you. First

158
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,600
Speaker 3: of all, you're my dream reader, so I'm so excited

159
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,480
Speaker 3: that we'll get books in your hands. So internal family

160
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,640
Speaker 3: systems actually isn't about our external family at all. It's

161
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,559
Speaker 3: about an inner family of parts of us. So inside

162
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,920
Speaker 3: all of us are lots of little protection mechanisms. They're

163
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,679
Speaker 3: young parts of us that are working really hard to

164
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:55,480
Speaker 3: protect us. So those patterns and the behavior, like for me,

165
00:08:55,520 --> 00:09:01,000
Speaker 3: it was control or addictive patterns, which kind of goes

166
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,079
Speaker 3: hand in hand with control or the belief that if

167
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:08,480
Speaker 3: I'm not doing it, nobody else will. These have been

168
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:14,079
Speaker 3: around for decades and decades, and those patterns are protection mechanisms,

169
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,920
Speaker 3: and those protect we can call them protector parts for

170
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:22,559
Speaker 3: the sake of the book. And who are these protector parts.

171
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:27,080
Speaker 3: Who are these protection mechanisms actually protecting? They're protecting very

172
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,040
Speaker 3: very young exiled parts of us. So as children, we

173
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,280
Speaker 3: experienced trauma with a big ta, trauma with a small tea.

174
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,959
Speaker 3: You know, trauma with the small tea might be always

175
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:40,840
Speaker 3: bullied in class. Big tea is sexual abuse or neglect

176
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,760
Speaker 3: or having an alcoholic parent, or attachment breach, and so

177
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,360
Speaker 3: we all have these trauma moments and they're so extreme

178
00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:52,280
Speaker 3: for our little brains as young people, and we don't

179
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,439
Speaker 3: have parents typically to help us resource or process these experiences.

180
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,959
Speaker 3: So as a result, we meet mediately as little people

181
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:05,040
Speaker 3: go into protection mechanism. That's why when we look at

182
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,120
Speaker 3: these patterns, beliefs, and behaviors, we can say, oh, they

183
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,400
Speaker 3: stem back so far when I was like six years

184
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,440
Speaker 3: old or five years older, before I could even remember,

185
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,000
Speaker 3: because from very young ages we went into protector mode.

186
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,480
Speaker 3: And those protection mechanisms are protecting young exiled feelings of

187
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:25,080
Speaker 3: being unsafe, inadequate, unlovable, not good enough, and we never

188
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,240
Speaker 3: wanted to feel that feeling, so right away we built

189
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,760
Speaker 3: up the protection mechanism. I'm going to be a perfectionist

190
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 3: so I feel loved. I'm going to be a control

191
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,839
Speaker 3: freak because if I'm not in control, I feel completely

192
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,240
Speaker 3: unsafe or I'm going to be and then that control

193
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:41,400
Speaker 3: can turn into addiction. Right, So, we have all these

194
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:45,800
Speaker 3: kinds of false protections that have been running our lives,

195
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,439
Speaker 3: and this entire book that I've written is about how

196
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,400
Speaker 3: to befriend those protection mechanisms and treat them like little

197
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,640
Speaker 3: children and compassionately connect to those parts of ourselves so

198
00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,800
Speaker 3: that we can access an inner healer and feel relief

199
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,160
Speaker 3: the first time in our life.

200
00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:04,640
Speaker 2: And what is like the one the best tool within

201
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,480
Speaker 2: those that has helped you the most, Like.

202
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,079
Speaker 3: Well, here's the cool news. The whole book is one tool.

203
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,040
Speaker 3: It's a four step practice. That's that's why I love

204
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,520
Speaker 3: it. It's not like, oh, you've to open this book and

205
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:17,480
Speaker 3: have a million different tools. This is a four step

206
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:21,760
Speaker 3: practice called the four step check in. And so I

207
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,079
Speaker 3: cant do it with you guys right now? Do I

208
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,320
Speaker 3: just do it? I want to just experience? Yes, Okay,

209
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,439
Speaker 3: So you guys are familiar and the listener is probably

210
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:33,199
Speaker 3: familiar with a belief, a pattern, or a extreme behavior

211
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:37,400
Speaker 3: or a habit that maybe isn't really wait, something that's

212
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:42,040
Speaker 3: not very desirable in your life. Yep, okay, So instead

213
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,959
Speaker 3: of normally you might check out and just go into

214
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,720
Speaker 3: that extreme pattern to check out from whatever you're feeling inside,

215
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,719
Speaker 3: so you get triggered and then you go to that

216
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:53,000
Speaker 3: behavior pattern or belief because that's your way of protecting yourself.

217
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,520
Speaker 3: So right now, instead of checking out, we're going to

218
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,839
Speaker 3: choose to check in, which is the first step. So

219
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,760
Speaker 3: just making that choice with me right now, to choose

220
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,240
Speaker 3: to check in with this part of you is everybody

221
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,720
Speaker 3: with me? You got buy in from you all? Yeah,

222
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,920
Speaker 3: think to check in, focusing your attention inward.

223
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:12,240
Speaker 4: Now.

224
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:16,680
Speaker 3: The second step is to become curious about that part

225
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,960
Speaker 3: of yourself. And this is where you'd ask some questions.

226
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,680
Speaker 3: So asking that part, how long have you been around?

227
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:30,080
Speaker 3: You guys can answer me. You said six young.

228
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:34,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, second age yeah yeah six yeah? What is your age? Cat?

229
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:38,280
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've blocked out a lot younger than fifteen,

230
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 1: so I always kind of go back to fifteen, but

231
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,520
Speaker 1: I think it's younger than that for sure.

232
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:47,199
Speaker 3: Okay, gorgeous, Good Now asking if these parts of yourself

233
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,560
Speaker 3: just checking in a little bit more. You might even

234
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,680
Speaker 3: want to close your eyes if you feel called to

235
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,640
Speaker 3: check in a little further and just get a little

236
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,600
Speaker 3: bit of information. So, are there any thoughts or feelings

237
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,560
Speaker 3: or sensations that this part wants to reveal, And you

238
00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,120
Speaker 3: don't have to say it. Just just listen to my

239
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,880
Speaker 3: voice and I'll guide you any thoughts, feelings, sensations, images,

240
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,240
Speaker 3: words that want to come forward when you become curious

241
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:15,240
Speaker 3: about this part of yourself. If you get a little

242
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:19,719
Speaker 3: bit more information, just give that part of you some

243
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:25,400
Speaker 3: permission to reveal whatever it wants you to know. Becoming

244
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,000
Speaker 3: a little bit more curious, just let the part of

245
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,960
Speaker 3: you know that anything else it wants you to know

246
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:36,679
Speaker 3: about can come forward in whatever way feel safe. And

247
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,120
Speaker 3: now in the third step, we'll compassionately connect to this

248
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:45,280
Speaker 3: part of you and asking that part what do you need?

249
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,360
Speaker 3: And don't overthink it. Just listen, let it speak up

250
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,840
Speaker 3: and noticing what it says, take a deep breath and

251
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,520
Speaker 3: just put your hand on your heart and give it

252
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:06,200
Speaker 3: some breath and let it know that you've heard what

253
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:11,280
Speaker 3: it's asked for. And now the fourth step is to

254
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,439
Speaker 3: check in and see how you feel right now. How

255
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,720
Speaker 3: do you feel in your body? Are you feeling any

256
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:22,520
Speaker 3: sensations of calmness or curiosity? Just notice what's coming through

257
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:28,080
Speaker 3: and let me know how you feel right now guys.

258
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,680
Speaker 2: My r ring is telling me I'm calm yeap.

259
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,320
Speaker 3: Whenever I do, it's calmer. Yeah, yeah, like.

260
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,360
Speaker 4: A deep It was weird because when you asked me

261
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,640
Speaker 4: to identify with the feeling I felt it. I always

262
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:43,040
Speaker 4: throw those part chests in my back, like I get

263
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,240
Speaker 4: very anxious. And then as we were, when I got

264
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,120
Speaker 4: my answer, I just felt my whole body kind of

265
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:48,920
Speaker 4: melt a little bit.

266
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 3: Excellent, A'm melting a calmness. Do you feel connected to

267
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:57,360
Speaker 3: that part of you?

268
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,760
Speaker 2: Yeah?

269
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,360
Speaker 3: Did you notice that? Yeah?

270
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,960
Speaker 4: I think what's interesting is all the work and we,

271
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,560
Speaker 4: ironically all three of us see the same therapists.

272
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,720
Speaker 2: I just got back from therapy today when I saw

273
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:12,240
Speaker 2: that one up.

274
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:17,120
Speaker 4: But I think all of us have gotten like such

275
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:22,400
Speaker 4: a good tool support from Amy that it's interesting because

276
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,520
Speaker 4: when I got my answer, I was like, oh, well,

277
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,320
Speaker 4: like in my brain, I'm like, well I can supply

278
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:26,920
Speaker 4: myself that.

279
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,480
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am, that's right. That's right, because all the therapy

280
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 3: you've been doing has been helping you access what's called self.

281
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:47,120
Speaker 3: And self is your adult resourced, undamaged, curious, compassionate, calm, connected, confident, courageous, creative, clear.

282
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,400
Speaker 3: These are these c qualities of self. Self is often

283
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,600
Speaker 3: like the inner healer, it's like the God within us,

284
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:58,160
Speaker 3: it's like the spirit within us, the intuitive force within us.

285
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,200
Speaker 3: We always have access to self. And in the book,

286
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:05,280
Speaker 3: I share this quote by IFS practitioner Stephen Kranz, and

287
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,800
Speaker 3: the quote says that self is like the sun behind

288
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,160
Speaker 3: the clouds, and self is always there, but the clouds

289
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,560
Speaker 3: are in the way, and when those clouds dissipate, this

290
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:19,000
Speaker 3: self energy can emerge. So these four steps are about

291
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:25,000
Speaker 3: connecting to the clouds and compassionately, curiously connecting to those clouds,

292
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,360
Speaker 3: which are the protections. And as we start to connect them,

293
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,640
Speaker 3: they soften and relax. And then, as you guys said,

294
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:37,560
Speaker 3: calmness emerged that self. And so your inner healer, your

295
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 3: internal parent, the resource you've always longed, we all have

296
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,480
Speaker 3: always longed for, is actually inside of us. We have

297
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,040
Speaker 3: access to that support, that calmness, and that clarity and

298
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,080
Speaker 3: that compassion, and so when we do this practice, we

299
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,240
Speaker 3: can let it emerge naturally. And then because you guys

300
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,160
Speaker 3: have been doing the therapy, you've already begin to acquire

301
00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,440
Speaker 3: a lot of that self energy calmness. So this practice

302
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 3: will really tip for both for all three of you,

303
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,080
Speaker 3: it'll be like, I think people who are already therapy

304
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,840
Speaker 3: therapeutically inclined are going to have a real like Wow,

305
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 3: that practice just nails it for me and beautiful because

306
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,399
Speaker 3: it's non pathologizing. It's not like we're judging ourselves or

307
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,640
Speaker 3: telling ourselves we've done anything wrong. It's befriending these parts

308
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,840
Speaker 3: of ourselves and getting to know these parts of ourselves.

309
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,880
Speaker 2: So yeah, it takes the shame away from those little pieces.

310
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:28,640
Speaker 3: Oh yeah too.

311
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:42,360
Speaker 5: Oh yeah.

312
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,679
Speaker 2: When you're out speaking and you're meeting people, what are

313
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 2: the people want to hear the most from you? Like,

314
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 2: where are they stuck the most? And what do you

315
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,040
Speaker 2: think they're wanting to hear the most?

316
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,160
Speaker 3: Well, I mean people want a quick fix and they

317
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 3: want to manifest, and so I think that's what I

318
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,000
Speaker 3: think the most desire, the biggest desire is like how

319
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 3: do I get to that thing that's going to make

320
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 3: me happy? And I honestly think that what we're doing

321
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 3: right here is actually the real manifesting flex because we

322
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:14,360
Speaker 3: manifest what we believe, and so if our belief systems

323
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 3: are not in alignment with what it is that we want,

324
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:20,240
Speaker 3: which they aren't ninety nine point nine percent of time.

325
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,560
Speaker 3: Then we're not going to manifest what we desire, or

326
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,640
Speaker 3: we will manifest it because we thought about it a lot,

327
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,399
Speaker 3: but then we won't be able to keep it. The

328
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:30,000
Speaker 3: real manifesting is to heal the beliefs so that in

329
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:35,679
Speaker 3: healing those beliefs, we actually become calm, connected, clear, creative.

330
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 3: That energy is the energy that is attract that is

331
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,880
Speaker 3: attracting energy, that is your super attractor energy.

332
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,320
Speaker 2: For the person though, that is so chaotic in their

333
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 2: mind and they're depressed and they feel stuck. They don't

334
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:52,640
Speaker 2: know which way to go, and they're having a hard

335
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:56,879
Speaker 2: time finding you know, their why and their purpose and

336
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:01,080
Speaker 2: where they're going and what they should be doing. Like yes,

337
00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 2: I feel like this four step check in would be

338
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,399
Speaker 2: great for them, but also if you know what else

339
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 2: would be something that would be beneficial to that person

340
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,719
Speaker 2: that is having a hard time finding the direction when

341
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,239
Speaker 2: they're feeling stuck, because I know for me, like when

342
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,960
Speaker 2: I get in those moments, I'm like I don't know

343
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,639
Speaker 2: which way is up or down or how Like I

344
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,800
Speaker 2: know you just have to start, but like it's it's

345
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 2: hard when you don't really know your why or your

346
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 2: purpose or what you're supposed to be doing or and

347
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 2: it's just it's you're living in kind of a chaotic

348
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,440
Speaker 2: mind frame to even strugg you know, put it where

349
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 2: it needs to be.

350
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 3: I want to remind everybody that we could always exercise choice.

351
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,479
Speaker 3: And there's a chapter in the book about how prayer

352
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:47,120
Speaker 3: is a choice, and so even in those moments when

353
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:51,040
Speaker 3: we may not actually be able to go and do

354
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:54,880
Speaker 3: the four step check in, we can we can say

355
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 3: a prayer. And that's a choice. Actually that's actually the

356
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,639
Speaker 3: first step. It's it's a choice to check rather than

357
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 3: check out. So we can say, I choose to see

358
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,360
Speaker 3: peace instead of this, I choose to open my heart

359
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 3: to heal. I welcome creative possibilities for healing, because there

360
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,479
Speaker 3: are plenty of moments in our lives where we're going

361
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 3: to be in crisis, chaos, overwhelm, and access to enough

362
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 3: access to our right mind to get into a four

363
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 3: step practice may not be there, may not be available

364
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 3: to us. So we may have to say a prayer,

365
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 3: and then we say that prayer and then an hour

366
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,680
Speaker 3: later the book falls off the shelf, or an hour

367
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 3: later you're listening and all of a sudden you're listening

368
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 3: to wind down and this exact message that you need,

369
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,199
Speaker 3: because prayer is a conduit for miracles. A prayer is

370
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:48,919
Speaker 3: opening up our conscious awareness to possibilities for healing. And

371
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 3: you can call it a prayer, you can call it

372
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 3: an intention. I don't care. But if you are at

373
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 3: your wits end and you're saying, I can't go on

374
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 3: like this, there has to be a better way. The

375
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 3: only way up is to intend or pray for clarity

376
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 3: and a way out, and then the doors can open.

377
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 3: Then maybe in an hour you feel a little bit

378
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 3: more calm, and you can go back and open the

379
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 3: book and do the four steps, or you can go

380
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 3: to your therapist, you can reach out to a friend.

381
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 3: That's what I would recommend in those moments of real crisis.

382
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 2: Right.

383
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 3: So recently, you know, six months ago, when I was

384
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 3: going through a hormonal upheaval, no tool was going to

385
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 3: help me, but I had prayer, and so I started

386
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 3: to pray for guidance, and then one next day I

387
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 3: was guided to a podcast that gave me exactly what

388
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,639
Speaker 3: I needed to know about hormonal health, and then I

389
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,400
Speaker 3: was given the inspiration to learn more. And so it's

390
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 3: a perceptual shift. First, that's the miracle. And so practicing

391
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 3: a practice like self help and reading the book and

392
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,959
Speaker 3: practicing it for one minute a day is actually a tool.

393
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,439
Speaker 3: And the more you practice that tool, the easier you

394
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 3: can access that tool. But sometimes you may not have

395
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 3: enough awareness to access that tool. Prayer might open the door. Well,

396
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 3: like any practice or any habit, if we exercise regularly,

397
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 3: we can pick up and lift more, and lift more

398
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 3: and lift more. If we practice these types of self

399
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 3: help tools like self like the four steps, you'll be

400
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 3: able to do to reach for it more and more

401
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 3: and more and expand and expand and expand. It becomes

402
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 3: easier and easier to access, and that self energy becomes

403
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,919
Speaker 3: more expansive inside of you. You just feel safer and safer.

404
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 3: But it's practice.

405
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's It's so interesting because so Alan

406
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 2: and I, you know, we're good friends with Tim's story

407
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 2: and we watched, you know, we went to a few

408
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 2: of his his uh speaking engagements and been chatting with

409
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 2: him a bunch and he's you know, and I have

410
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,159
Speaker 2: this thing where I'm like, it's going to be okay

411
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 2: because we kind of can can get in slums with

412
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,679
Speaker 2: our career and you just can you know, be frustrating

413
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 2: or whatever and you know, trying to uplift each other.

414
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's going to be a great week because

415
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 2: it's like, you know, you go to these speeches and

416
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 2: you guys are very motivational and you know, I've seen

417
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 2: the stuff that you post online and you know, so

418
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, and it's like it's going to be

419
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,439
Speaker 2: a great week. Every time I've said that, it's been

420
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 2: a week. Like so it's like it's so hard in

421
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 2: those moments when you're like trying to have the like

422
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 2: that positive outlook and you're just like pushback down and

423
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,160
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, you can always pick out one good

424
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 2: thing from the week, and there's always something, but when

425
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 2: it's not like it's you know, it's like I'm really glad.

426
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 3: I'm really glad you said that, because actually believe in affirmations,

427
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 3: but I don't believe in using affirmations that you don't

428
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 3: believe in.

429
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 2: So I really do want to believe it's going to

430
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,640
Speaker 2: be a great week. Like I truly like it's gonna

431
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,160
Speaker 2: be a great week.

432
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,959
Speaker 3: But now I'll make a minor I would make a

433
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:38,679
Speaker 3: minor adjustment, like I'm welcome and welcome creative possibilities for

434
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 3: joy this week, m you know, or I like that

435
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: because yeah, that feels That's what I mean. Like, I

436
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 3: know you believe that that good things will happen, and

437
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:54,400
Speaker 3: I know you, but affirming it's like we don't want

438
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 3: to whitewash our feelings and emotions, and so instead that's

439
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 3: why I love intentions, prayers or affirming affirming what we believe. Right,

440
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 3: So I welcome creative possibilities. If you're broke, I welcome

441
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,439
Speaker 3: created possibilities for abundance. Or lately, I've been really working

442
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 3: with a part of myself that's struggled a lot, you know,

443
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 3: a part of me that's been really controlling, and I

444
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 3: want to heal that control. And so I just instead

445
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 3: of saying I'm at it, I'm surrendered, I'm free, I'm

446
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 3: just saying like, I welcome opportunities to surrender, right, Or

447
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 3: I'll say things like like I choose to forgive this

448
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 3: situation and release this situation in the moment and not

449
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 3: just sort of be like I'm free. I'm free because

450
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 3: I don't know if I believe that quite yet. Right, Yeah,

451
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:44,360
Speaker 3: that's a good point.

452
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 2: And I love the fact that you're honest about that too,

453
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 2: because so many times it's like when I see people

454
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: that are like yourself and you're up there and I'm

455
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 2: just like, Okay, they've got it all figured out. But

456
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 2: it's like, no, you just said that you were having

457
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,360
Speaker 2: a hard time with certain things, and that's a very

458
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 2: human like. Not everything is perfect, and it doesn't all all.

459
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 2: It's not all butterflies and rainbows, and we all have hard,

460
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 2: hard times, hard weeks, hard years, and but there there

461
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: is joy and there's goodness in there, and if you

462
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 2: use prayer and meditation and things that in the forcep

463
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 2: check in. Like, I think there's ways to get out

464
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 2: of those ruts. I think it's just hard for the

465
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,199
Speaker 2: people that don't think they might that they that they

466
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 2: don't deserve the goodness too. I have someone that I

467
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 2: love so deeply this it's like just trying so hard

468
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 2: to believe that they are deserving of that.

469
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 3: So that would be a part to check in with, right,

470
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,199
Speaker 3: the part that doesn't believe that they deserve.

471
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

472
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 3: And then the thing that you just said that was

473
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 3: so interesting was you said, well, you know, some people

474
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 3: like you might have it figured all out, right, And

475
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,479
Speaker 3: the funny thing is that at this stage in my life,

476
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 3: after writing ten self help books and spiritual self help

477
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 3: books and doing all this work, I actually do think

478
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 3: I have it figured all it all out, but I

479
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 3: have to access the tool that I know can figure

480
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 3: it out right. So it's not like I'm walking around

481
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 3: being like I'm her happy all the time, but I

482
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 3: have figured out how to get there and stay there

483
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 3: and keep shining the crystal every single day to get

484
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 3: closer and closer to the there that we want to

485
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 3: be at, right.

486
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 2: Like You've got all the tools in the box. Like

487
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: I wrote the it's your choice.

488
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 3: To I wrote the book. I wrote the book self help.

489
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 3: I'd better here's your mom, I better know how to get.

490
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 2: Read it back to yourself.

491
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 3: So does that mean that I don't act out every day? Guys?

492
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 3: I am probably been acting up more right now because

493
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 3: I'm getting closer and closer to the healing. Right, So

494
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 3: the more we get close to the healing, sometimes those

495
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 3: parts of us can get really activated very easily. So

496
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 3: the beauty is not that I'm perfect all the time.

497
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 3: The beauty is I can speak for these parts of

498
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 3: myself instead of as them. I can say I'm feeling

499
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,360
Speaker 3: really outraged right now rather than being in the rage,

500
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 3: or I can have the rage, and five minutes later say,

501
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 3: I'd like to speak for that rage that just came up,

502
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 3: because it's a part of it. It really needs some

503
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 3: help and I'm working with it.

504
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

505
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 4: Tell me about your married right, yes, okay, tell me

506
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,360
Speaker 4: about Gabby and marriage and this kind of communication, because

507
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 4: I like, I am a more I'm more of a

508
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 4: I'm a twenty one twenty one day manifestation challenge gal.

509
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 4: I've done it before, Like I love you, I'm an

510
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 4: Oprah girl, you know.

511
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 2: Like I dig it.

512
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 4: My husband is the sweetest little redneck man, and he

513
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 4: is not all in for my theories all of the time.

514
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,120
Speaker 2: You know. Sometimes it's like it's just as simple as

515
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 2: this baby. You know, Well I was.

516
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 3: We all wish we could be more like him.

517
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. Avoidance is only charming for so long.

518
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 3: Right, So some of its avoidance, and some people are

519
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 3: just simple, you know, some people really yeah, yeah, yeah,

520
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 3: some people like so it sounds like for him it

521
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: might be manifesting its avoidance. But you know, there are

522
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 3: some people that just have more simplicity, and that's just

523
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 3: God bless them, God bless.

524
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 2: Them, what a beautiful life.

525
00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I wouldn't choose that. I think that

526
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 3: happy for them that they can have that piece. But

527
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 3: I like the choice I've made. I'm happy here, I'm learning.

528
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 3: I would say that when we have a partner that

529
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 3: doesn't have a shared spiritual belief or personal development belief,

530
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 3: there's absolutely no way that you could push it upon them.

531
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 3: Just live it, be it, and let trust trust. This

532
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 3: trust that is your vibration starts to elevate as you

533
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 3: begin to heal, as you access more self inside self

534
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 3: begets more self. So when you're in self, you actually

535
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 3: begin to spark that self energy in him. I'm telling

536
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 3: you it's magic.

537
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 2: I actually believe that.

538
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, magic. Think about it. The more calm and compassionate

539
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 3: and connected and creative you are, what is that going

540
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 3: to ignite in your spouse? More calm, more compassion, more connection.

541
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 3: We're really co regulating all day long with our partners,

542
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 3: So if we change our point of attraction, they begin

543
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 3: to change.

544
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, it does get pretty hot when they start using

545
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 4: terms like that too.

546
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 3: Don't use the don't use it, and also don't don't

547
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 3: talk to them about it no, no, does be it no?

548
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 2: Be it?

549
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 4: Well, we had we had like a time a couple

550
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 4: of years ago that was really really tough for us.

551
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 4: There's been a few and and it was wild because

552
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 4: it was hurtful in ways that's not TMZ worthy or anything,

553
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 4: but it was just wild to me that it was

554
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 4: the opportunity we needed to kind of like break and rebuild. Yeah,

555
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 4: but the way I loved him in that I think

556
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 4: set a tone for our marriage that we've kind of

557
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 4: taken for two years. Which is so when you say that,

558
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 4: like the coregulation, I feel it.

559
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 2: I do.

560
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 3: I think that the bottoms in our partnerships are often

561
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 3: the greatest catalyst for healing and growth. They are they're

562
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 3: then right. So so my husband I actually got remarried

563
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 3: last weekend very impromptuo. We were at a real bottoming

564
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 3: out of just some of these parts getting activated and

565
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 3: I'm just changing so much that I was like, these

566
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 3: parts of myself no longer want to coexist like this.

567
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 3: And so we were on some shore road and he's like,

568
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 3: this is our first day we're meeting, and it's one

569
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 3: forty five shore line road and we're going to start

570
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 3: over today and we both decided to. And then later

571
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 3: we were with my brother and sister in law, I said,

572
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 3: look up the vows and the ceremony and we walked

573
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 3: to the water and I was like, marry us and

574
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 3: we had to redo it wedding.

575
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 2: I love that. That's great.

576
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 1: Well, just like on a simpler version of that, speaking

577
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: of like for us at home, it's the simplest things

578
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: of positive and negative. And I've just started not saying

579
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: anything to him and just everything that was out of

580
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: my mouth positive positive, and he started to see that,

581
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 1: like his comments were negative or you know whatever. So

582
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: I could see a difference in him without even acknowledging

583
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: it or talking about it. I just was very cognizant

584
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 1: of everything coming out of my mouth being a positive,

585
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 1: joyful statement, whether I felt that at the moment or not,

586
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: you know. And then I started to see a difference

587
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: in him. It's like he was catching himself because his

588
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 1: comments or does that make sense, Yeah.

589
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 2: Because it's lonely when you're.

590
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, you kind of.

591
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: Realize over you're like a girl. Everybody's all joyful. And

592
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: then it wasn't bad, but you know, just like little

593
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: things like that. But and then another thing I was

594
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: going to ask like, for me, I'm not as like, uh,

595
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: into therapy. I mean I've seen a therapist. I actually

596
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: don't see her at the moment. I'm not as into

597
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: this stuff as these two girls are. I've definitely dealt

598
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: with a lot of my trauma stuff like that. But

599
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: the thing that comes up for me a lot and

600
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: that I want to ask you about is being very

601
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 1: overwhelmed with like I'm happy, I love myself, I love

602
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: my family, I feel very content where I am.

603
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 2: You love what you do, I love what I do.

604
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 1: You know all those things. Yeah, exactly, I feel very

605
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: very content, But there's this part of me that's like

606
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 1: I haven't figured out my purpose, you know, But that

607
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: also feels very overwhelming to me, Like I know my

608
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,479
Speaker 1: purpose in God, and I'm you know, I'm a believer

609
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: and all of those things, but that thought of like,

610
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: but what is that purpose? Like why did why did

611
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: God put me here? Am I supposed to just be

612
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: a mom? Am I supposed to just to work? Like

613
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: that has become one of the most overwhelming things to me.

614
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: And I'm like, should I have figured that out? Should

615
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: I have an answer? Is it fine to not have

616
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: an answer? You know?

617
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 3: Like when you questions around when you said.

618
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 2: I feel like it's your chest is heavy. Does it

619
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 2: make you like emotional?

620
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean yes and no. Like at times I'm like,

621
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: it's okay that I don't know. Yeah, but I'm like, wait,

622
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: I think you do know.

623
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 3: I think you do know. You said I know my

624
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 3: purpose in God. Yeah, what does that mean to you?

625
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I definitely know that my purpose on

626
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: this earth for me is to spread the love of

627
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: Jesus and to spread that to my children and to

628
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: other you know, other people. But I think this whole idea.

629
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 3: Stop full stop, sorry when you're talking of Jesus both stop.

630
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 3: You just said your purpose. There's no other purpose. That's it. Okay,

631
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 3: you are living something that so many people may never

632
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 3: actually understand in a lifetime.

633
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 2: Right, Please tell me that makes you emotional.

634
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: Emotional. But I guess as a society, I guess it

635
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: just makes you feel like they're supposed to be some

636
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 1: other purpose.

637
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 3: What would what would Jesus tell you?

638
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: Well, obviously Jesus. Yeah, okay, okay, I hear you. Okay, No, absolutely,

639
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: that is what Jesus would tell me. I just I

640
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: think that's why sometimes I'm like great with it. And

641
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: then sometimes I'm like, it's like a trigger word these days,

642
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: you know, or not even a trigger word. It's just

643
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: kind of like figuring out your purpose, figuring out your purpose.

644
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I thought I had my purpose, but

645
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 1: maybe that's just me.

646
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,240
Speaker 3: Let me tell you what your purpose is. Your purpose

647
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 3: is to be love and spread love. And so the

648
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 3: fact that you, in such an integrated, connected way, said

649
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 3: I'm here to spread the love of Jesus to my

650
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 3: children and the people around me is one of the

651
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,360
Speaker 3: most beautiful things I've ever heard because it's so integrated.

652
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 3: It wasn't words, it was knowing. And that is your purpose,

653
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,399
Speaker 3: my love. And and you're doing that through this show,

654
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 3: and you're doing that with your children. You're doing that

655
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 3: at the grocery store, and you're doing that through a

656
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 3: DM and you're doing that. That is that is your purpose,

657
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 3: period And you do that wherever you go and however

658
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,919
Speaker 3: you choose to do that. And if you get that

659
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 3: in the way that I know you do, then you

660
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 3: are fulfilling your function here.

661
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 2: Hey, well I think too it like I don't know

662
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 2: if this is the right words. Dare the society is like,

663
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 2: is that enough maybe, or is it has to be

664
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,879
Speaker 2: a tangible thing or some shiny, shiny or bright where

665
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 2: it's like, no, that is actually the most beautiful thing ever.

666
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,280
Speaker 1: Like she said, would Jesus told me? Not what everybody

667
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 1: else around them tell me?

668
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 3: Exactly?

669
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 2: Humanous is where I think we trip sometimes.

670
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 3: And let me ask you another question. When you are

671
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 3: spreading the love of Jesus, how do you feel.

672
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 2: Fulfilled?

673
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 3: Fulfilled?

674
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 2: Right?

675
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 3: Happy? And so? What do we want from our purpose?

676
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 3: Happiness and fulfillment?

677
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:26,799
Speaker 2: You know what I think you should do. You've got

678
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,439
Speaker 2: the cats out of the bag. You should you should

679
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 2: also do cats out of the Bible. Oh man, that

680
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 2: could be. You know, it's like the giving you know,

681
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,439
Speaker 2: talking and I was, I kind of be really honest

682
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 2: with you. It's like an honest friend moment, like I

683
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 2: don't like I know, you know you've told me like

684
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 2: a few things, but I would love to have you

685
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 2: speak more of it to me. Since I'm a new

686
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 2: you know, I've just gotten baptized a couple of years ago.

687
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 2: I'm still trying to figure out you're trying to learn

688
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 2: something I would I would love it, as you know,

689
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 2: you're my best friend to how you actually speak more

690
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: of it and not because I don't really hear you

691
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 2: really talk about it a lot. Does that make sense?

692
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I will say there are certain instances where and

693
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 1: I will be completely honest with you. I pray about

694
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: this actually often. This is an interesting moment. I have always,

695
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: for some reason with you held back why. I mean

696
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,800
Speaker 1: there's reasons. There's definitely reasons.

697
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 2: Because I had a child on a wedlock. Oh god, no,

698
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 2: because I'm a sinner.

699
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 6: Nothing when it comes to getting and getting married. I mean, okay,

700
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 6: nothing that you've done.

701
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 1: No, I mean, do you want me to be honest

702
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: this daddy? Yeah, no, it's nothing bad. But you know,

703
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 1: we had things years ago where things were said about

704
00:36:55,800 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: Nick and about how he was kind of active, holier

705
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 1: than now, or talked about Biden.

706
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 2: Who said that me and you had a thing.

707
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 1: But it was just a long time ago. It was

708
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: a long time ago, and so I just kind of

709
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: I took that and I was like, Okay, she doesn't

710
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 1: want to hear it, and so I kind of that's

711
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: where I struggle with my purpose is if I know

712
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 1: people are not I do struggle because I don't want

713
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 1: to also push it. So it's kind of this balance.

714
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: That's hard for me and I don't want to come

715
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: off as you know, in these days it's it's become

716
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 1: a negative.

717
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:35,879
Speaker 3: Well, let me just say one thing. Janna just said,

718
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 3: can you talk more about it?

719
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 2: She did?

720
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,399
Speaker 1: I know I left you're you're right, I know, so you.

721
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 3: May be that that that belief.

722
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 2: To hear it too, because I hate you weren't like

723
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like I was like God

724
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 2: gave me another marriage, and I don't believe in that,

725
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like.

726
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: You absolutely were not in the place to hear it.

727
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: And that's another reason why I did. And this isn't

728
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: putting that on you. Sorry that it's not putting it

729
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: on you, putting it on me.

730
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 3: It's actually really beautiful what I'm witnessing. Because sorry to interrupt,

731
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 3: because this is a beautiful conversation. You have my interview,

732
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 3: you have my interview. This is so cool. So Janna

733
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 3: wasn't ready to receive it, so you didn't give it.

734
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,720
Speaker 3: And that's an important thing about being a teacher of God,

735
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 3: because you don't if you try to enforce the love

736
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 3: of Jesus, if that's your language right from you, it

737
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 3: would be you know, spreading the love of God. Right,

738
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,399
Speaker 3: if you try to put that onto somebody when they're

739
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,919
Speaker 3: not ready to receive it, it will fall on deaf

740
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 3: years and that will be even more heartbreaking for you,

741
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 3: for both of you. Really, yes, absolutely right, So you're

742
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 3: so Jesus was guiding you not to speak for that,

743
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 3: but to be that energy. Right, So you were being

744
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 3: the love of Jesus when she was going through those

745
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 3: hard times, and that's why you're best friends. So speaking

746
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 3: for it and being it, it's just really as the messenger,

747
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 3: you have to decide what tool am I going to

748
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 3: use now to speak on behalf of his love or

749
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,359
Speaker 3: beyond that, on behalf of his love?

750
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 1: And now, I mean, and that's so true. Sorry not

751
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: to cut you off, but thinking through that, that's kind

752
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: of what I would pray about at that time, was

753
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: how to still be a friend and show that but

754
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: not push it on you because you you were definitely

755
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,360
Speaker 1: were not in a place for that. And that's totally fine,

756
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 1: and you have I mean, it's this was so long ago,

757
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: and it's it's again, it's not but that's such a

758
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 1: good point. I think that's what I tried to do.

759
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 1: But now I hear you and you saying that.

760
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 2: Some scripture on us, or when I'm like in my

761
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 2: shame and you're like, well God says, I'm like, yeah,

762
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 2: thank you. I need like I need those reminders. I

763
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 2: don't really know his word as well as you do,

764
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 2: or as well as you do, you know, like I

765
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:44,879
Speaker 2: I want more of that in my life because that's

766
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 2: what I want. I want the peace of it. Yeah,

767
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,959
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, absolutely, peace and the piece.

768
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the coolest podcast interview I've ever had.

769
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 1: I feel so I like I could just do anything,

770
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 1: checked in.

771
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: We checked in and got right. And we need more

772
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 3: powerful women speaking on behalf of the God of their

773
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 3: own understanding right and speaking with authority around that, because yes,

774
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 3: that's that's how we heal mm hm and I can

775
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 3: hear and we can hear it when it's so grounded

776
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:28,400
Speaker 3: and authentic. The words don't really matter. The the lexicon

777
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 3: doesn't matter, but the energy and the conviction around it

778
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 3: is what matters.

779
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 4: I think these these friendships are for sure a love

780
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 4: like Jesus to me. I mean, we've always would always

781
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 4: that we have seen each other through is monumental, But

782
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:46,720
Speaker 4: I feel like we've always all showed up in really

783
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 4: christ like ways for each other to.

784
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 2: Shut up in a boom box a couple of months ago.

785
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's a boom box.

786
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's like again you know, knowing that you say that,

787
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 1: it's like I have always so you know, I have

788
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: always felt that with any relationship, not because me and

789
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,959
Speaker 1: you are as close and as long, but that God

790
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 1: put us. I mean, I've ever felt more like Christ

791
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 1: put a relationship together than the Jana ever. Yeah, So

792
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 1: hearing that is also very healing, you know, to like

793
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 1: talk about that and to know that because I mean,

794
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 1: you know, just the way our friendship has been, the

795
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 1: way we've worked together, It's like God take me where

796
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 1: you want, and He just keeps taking me back to Janna.

797
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 2: Rerouting that was I loved that. I mean, it's it's

798
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 2: uh speaking to your book and what happens when you

799
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 2: check in.

800
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 3: You know, you know what, That's exactly right, because we

801
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 3: did a check in and we got to self and

802
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 3: self is God. Self is Self is that Christ nature

803
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 3: inside self is the Buddha nature, the love nature that

804
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 3: whatever you call it m hm, and that self energy

805
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 3: needs to manifest more on this show. In the Voice

806
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 3: of Jesus and the Love of Jesus please, I want

807
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 3: to listen to that. I will tune in for that

808
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 3: every day.

809
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 2: What is your favorite quote that you live and swear by.

810
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,359
Speaker 2: I'm just I always loved to know people's faith.

811
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,439
Speaker 3: It's the roomy quote, the wound is the place where

812
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 3: the light enters.

813
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 5: You m.

814
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 2: I like that. Oh, Gabby, I love you more today

815
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 2: than I did yesterday.

816
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 3: I love you guys so much. I can't wait to

817
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 3: go on our full retreat.

818
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 2: Easy to tell us everything about aging. What a way

819
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 2: to start the new year, Gabby, Thank you so much.

820
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 2: Everyone gets self help. This is your chance to change

821
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 2: your life. It's available now. Happy New Year, everybody.

822
00:42:50,520 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 3: Happy New Year, guys,