WEBVTT - “MY SISTER IS ADDICTED TO VIRTUAL REALITY”

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, everybody, it's Lyle. Just a reminder that I am

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<v Speaker 1>going on tour to do therapy Gecko live in several

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<v Speaker 1>cities across the United States, and I would love to

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<v Speaker 1>see you there. I will be interviewing random folks from

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<v Speaker 1>the audience up on stage, and absolutely anything could happen.

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<v Speaker 1>It will be very fun, very terrifying, and very geko wee.

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<v Speaker 1>You can find the link to get tickets in your

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<v Speaker 1>city in the episode description. Okay, let's get into the podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello is this Lyle.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Lyle.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you doing, No, buddy.

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<v Speaker 1>I am a gecko on the computer.

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<v Speaker 2>You are a geck on the computer. Are you excited

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<v Speaker 2>for your tour?

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<v Speaker 1>My man, I am excited for my tour. I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit nervous. Yeah, you coming.

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<v Speaker 2>I wish I could. I try to get tickets to

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<v Speaker 2>Chicago because I'm out in Missouri, but it sold out

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<v Speaker 2>like fucking instantly.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, the tour will be fun. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm going to get into with with the people

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna bring up, but I think it'll be fun

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<v Speaker 1>and I am excited.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you Are you planning another one anytime soon?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Yeah, we'll we'll I'll be I'll be doing these

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<v Speaker 1>live things for as long as people are coming to them.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, Sweet, that's great here, I'm gonna try to

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<v Speaker 2>come to one soon.

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<v Speaker 1>So what's up with your boss?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, Okay, I had I had kind of a crazy

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<v Speaker 2>story to share with you tonight just because I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>some I wanted some outside of advice from someone who

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<v Speaker 2>isn't like biased to the situation because it has to

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<v Speaker 2>do with like family problems.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm I'm twenty and I just I just graduated

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<v Speaker 2>high school obviously a few years ago, and I have

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<v Speaker 2>a sister who is twenty seven, and she so she's

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<v Speaker 2>moved out, had the husband has been living with him

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<v Speaker 2>for like a few years now, and recently she got

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<v Speaker 2>addicted to this game called I think It's New World.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a VR game. I don't know if you've heard

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<v Speaker 2>of it before.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I haven't heard of it, but I'm familiar with VR.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so it's like it's kind of it's one of

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<v Speaker 2>those it's one of those things where it's kind of

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<v Speaker 2>like a secondary life type of VR game you're trying to, like,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, just like stupid shit like that. Sims

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<v Speaker 2>button VR type of thing, I think, And so she

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<v Speaker 2>was like super addicted into this game and was pretty

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<v Speaker 2>much living her whole life in the game instead of

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<v Speaker 2>in the real world with her husband and her dogs

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<v Speaker 2>that she had just got. And like, so over time

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<v Speaker 2>she started like stealing. She stole her husband's credit card

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<v Speaker 2>and like put his information on her door dash account,

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<v Speaker 2>and he or she was like she was stealing all

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<v Speaker 2>of his credit card money and like just ordering a

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<v Speaker 2>shit ton of fucking DoorDash to the house and eating

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<v Speaker 2>it in the room and just throwing the trash on

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<v Speaker 2>the ground and then just like sitting in there and

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<v Speaker 2>surrounding herself in the trash more and more every day,

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<v Speaker 2>like just only playing the game, not going to work anymore,

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<v Speaker 2>just getting all this food and stuff and not even

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<v Speaker 2>like going outside, getting super overweight and stuff. And then

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<v Speaker 2>she started like neglecting the dogs and she just left

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<v Speaker 2>them in the kennel, and so while her husband was

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<v Speaker 2>gone for a while, she like she let the dog

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<v Speaker 2>start the death and the kennel and like just dyeing

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<v Speaker 2>their own shit.

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<v Speaker 1>And stuff did start to death in the can. Isn't like,

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<v Speaker 1>isn't a kennel where you go to have people have

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<v Speaker 1>other people babysit dolls. No like.

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<v Speaker 2>No, like the like the small kennel in the house,

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<v Speaker 2>just like a little one that they would keeping the other.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh oh okay, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Like a small like I'm saying, like a cage.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like a cage, okay, like a cage.

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<v Speaker 2>And and so they were just left in the cage,

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<v Speaker 2>weren't fed, and just died in their own like fefis

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<v Speaker 2>and stuff. And when she finally got up and realized

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<v Speaker 2>that one day, when I guess she was just cleaning

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<v Speaker 2>out the house a little bit to move around because

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<v Speaker 2>she was starting to like make trails through the house

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<v Speaker 2>in between the trashs and shit, and she she just

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<v Speaker 2>put them in a trash bag and fucking threw them away.

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<v Speaker 2>And then her husband came home and obviously asked what

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<v Speaker 2>happens to the dogs, and she tries to she tries

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<v Speaker 2>to say that, you know, they just they just like

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<v Speaker 2>died and passed away, and she she went to go

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<v Speaker 2>get them cremated and stuff. And then he obviously walked

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<v Speaker 2>into the house later and found all the ship laying

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<v Speaker 2>around and shit like that, found them in the trash can.

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<v Speaker 2>And then my parents went over there and like everything

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<v Speaker 2>got crazy after that she got arrested for animal cruelty,

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<v Speaker 2>and now it is kind of the point where we're at,

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<v Speaker 2>like sitting at the moment where she got bailed out

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<v Speaker 2>of jail by my parents and has been living with

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<v Speaker 2>us now that her husband is divorced her and and

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<v Speaker 2>my parents are trying to act like this is okay,

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<v Speaker 2>like she's the victim of something like mental ailment or

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<v Speaker 2>like obviously this game that like took advantage of her

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<v Speaker 2>her brain or whatever she's going through right.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, hm hmmm, And.

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<v Speaker 4>Like so.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I don't I don't know how I should get

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<v Speaker 2>myself to a good point in my own life where

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<v Speaker 2>I don't feel like I need to to like lie

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<v Speaker 2>to my parents about how I feel about my sister

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<v Speaker 2>and and like without without alienating my sister and my

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<v Speaker 2>parents from me, because I also have another sister that's

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<v Speaker 2>like a younger than me, and it's still in high school,

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<v Speaker 2>and she's being like forced into acting like none of

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<v Speaker 2>this has happened or is like even a problem or

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<v Speaker 2>is wrong, and then like she's gonna be just or

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<v Speaker 2>sit this house with fucking her and my parents who

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<v Speaker 2>are acting like this is a completely normal thing, and

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<v Speaker 2>I just I just don't know. I don't know if

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<v Speaker 2>I should confront her or if I should confront my

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<v Speaker 2>parents because I'm still living at their place while like

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<v Speaker 2>I just came back from college. I dropped out after

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<v Speaker 2>my first semester, and I'm trying to get enrolled in

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<v Speaker 2>a new like community college near like near my original

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<v Speaker 2>house where my parents live, and so like, yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>just I obviously can't get kicked out for opposing them

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<v Speaker 2>too much. And they're super firm on like believing that

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<v Speaker 2>she is totally cool, and like there's you know, that

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<v Speaker 2>she has done nothing wrong and it's just a victim

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<v Speaker 2>in the situation and that she needs to be helped.

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<v Speaker 2>But then is like keeping her away from jail and

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<v Speaker 2>the thing that would keep her like to learn her lesson,

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<v Speaker 2>you know.

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<v Speaker 1>And what is she doing while she's like in the

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<v Speaker 1>house with you guys. Is she still playing this game?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, so she's she's in the house and she is

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<v Speaker 2>still playing the game, and she's playing other like she

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<v Speaker 2>still plays other video games too that she's probably also

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<v Speaker 2>horrendously addicted to. And she still just sits around and

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<v Speaker 2>has gained like a horrendous amount of weight over the

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<v Speaker 2>last half a year or so, and it's just like

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<v Speaker 2>it's getting worse by the day, and my parents are

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<v Speaker 2>just not telling her that it is when it obviously is,

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<v Speaker 2>and they're just like they're they're giving her confidence that

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<v Speaker 2>what she's doing is the right thing.

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<v Speaker 1>So can I ask you so you're it says here,

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<v Speaker 1>you're twenty, sister's twenty seven. Yeah, that's a significant age difference.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, I want to know when you guys

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<v Speaker 1>were growing up, Yeah, what was sort of the dynamic

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<v Speaker 1>between your sister and your parents, Because I would have

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<v Speaker 1>to assume that behavior like this didn't start at twenty

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<v Speaker 1>seven with the video game. I have to assume this

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<v Speaker 1>has been boiling and brewing for a long time.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, And no, I would always definitely agree it has been.

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<v Speaker 2>It's they haven't like always been completely upfront and like

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<v Speaker 2>very obvious about it about you know, always supporting her

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<v Speaker 2>through these stupid decisions that she's making and is like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, doing some stuff like quitting her job just

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<v Speaker 2>to continue to play video games or like stream and

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<v Speaker 2>stuff like that when she needs to just be able

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<v Speaker 2>to support her family right now, or like what she's starting,

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<v Speaker 2>which is just her husband and her dogs, and she

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't even do that. And and but like before they

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<v Speaker 2>would they still always just let things fly when they shouldn't.

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<v Speaker 1>Kay kam hmm. What would you like to see happen?

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<v Speaker 2>I would I would like to see, like I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to say that I would like to see an

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<v Speaker 2>awful punishment to someone in my own family obviously, but

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<v Speaker 2>the with the dog, it's kind of unforgivable.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

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<v Speaker 2>I that's what That's what I'm trying to ask. What

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<v Speaker 2>what you think would would be fair for me to

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<v Speaker 2>to ask of them? Well, a sister and me out

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<v Speaker 2>of this ship.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it's you know, I can't tell you what would

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<v Speaker 1>be fair of you to ask because and you and

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<v Speaker 1>you've probably heard me talk about this before. This This

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<v Speaker 1>is really really difficult because you only have so much

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<v Speaker 1>power in this situation. You cannot change the relationship between

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<v Speaker 1>your parents and your sister. You cannot change your sister's behavior.

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<v Speaker 1>You cannot change your parents' behavior. You can vocalize things

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<v Speaker 1>to them, you can let your opinions be known, and

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<v Speaker 1>you can do your best at that, but you can't

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<v Speaker 1>ultimately control what other people do and how they act.

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<v Speaker 1>You just can't, right, And that's a difficult thing because

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<v Speaker 1>I know that you want to and I know that

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<v Speaker 1>you would like to see your parents be harder on

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<v Speaker 1>your sister because you really feel like they've been letting

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<v Speaker 1>too much slide. And it's a hard thing, man, when

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<v Speaker 1>you're at like, you know, especially because you're feeling really

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<v Speaker 1>bad for your younger sister, who I feel bad for

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<v Speaker 1>her because you said she's still she's like sixteen, she's

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<v Speaker 1>still in high school.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, she's No, she's not sixteen, she's a senior this year.

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<v Speaker 3>She's eighteen.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, good, because I was feeling really bad for her

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<v Speaker 1>because I mean, you, you know, at least you get

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<v Speaker 1>to go back to college. Well, no, you dropped out.

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<v Speaker 1>You dropped out, right. Are you planning on community? Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you planning on going getting out of there anytime soon?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I just got a new job not that long ago,

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<v Speaker 2>and I've been working towards yeah, saving nothing, probably trying

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<v Speaker 2>to move out soon with some of my friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This family stuff is really tough.

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<v Speaker 2>Because the dynamic is hard to understand, Like I understand that.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's not, No, it's not that it's hard to

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<v Speaker 1>understand it's that you have a desire to change it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I always feel, you know, I sympathize with that

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<v Speaker 1>because it's something that you can try your very best, dad,

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<v Speaker 1>and still not accomplish. Uh, But you want to give

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<v Speaker 1>it a try. So you want to know kind of

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<v Speaker 1>the best way to talk to your parents about it,

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<v Speaker 1>or that's what you're trying to figure out.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, and okay. And also another thing that I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to ask is, even if I can get my parents

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<v Speaker 2>to agree with me, do you think I should just

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<v Speaker 2>send it now and move out and just put it

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<v Speaker 2>all behind me.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, we'll get there. Let's start with this. What

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<v Speaker 1>have you done to communicate about the situation to your parents?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, so, like my parents will constantly like the they'll

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<v Speaker 2>go out all the time for like dinner and like

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<v Speaker 2>stuff like that, and they'll invite her and or like

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<v Speaker 2>even just like dinner at the table, and they'll specifically

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<v Speaker 2>tell her to come down and they want to specifically

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<v Speaker 2>like come and sit with her to talk to her

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<v Speaker 2>about stuff. And me and me and my sister, my

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<v Speaker 2>younger sister have both like been trying to to show

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<v Speaker 2>that we aren't interested in aren't like willing to really

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<v Speaker 2>sit down and just talk to her and act like

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<v Speaker 2>we're okay to just talk to her without her like

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<v Speaker 2>explaining why she thinks this is an okay thing, or

0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 2>like why any of this is happening, or that she's

0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:29.760
<v Speaker 2>like to even apologize about any of it really, And

0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:32.559
<v Speaker 2>I like I've told I've told them how I feel too,

0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:35.520
<v Speaker 2>like directly, like I've had conversations with my parents before,

0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.360
<v Speaker 2>straight up and not even like in a mean way

0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:43.120
<v Speaker 2>or trying to like rag on my sister in the

0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:45.400
<v Speaker 2>way that I really do feel about it honestly, but

0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:47.600
<v Speaker 2>like I've just told them and been firm about it,

0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:51.839
<v Speaker 2>like that I don't want anything to do with her

0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.920
<v Speaker 2>if she's going to be like this, And they're just

0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:56.760
<v Speaker 2>the same back and telling me like you know, it

0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.559
<v Speaker 2>wasn't her and like it's not her fault because she's sick.

0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:03.760
<v Speaker 5>Mhm M.

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:06.920
<v Speaker 1>Can I ask you this and it's just as a

0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:11.520
<v Speaker 1>thought experiment, and there is no right or wrong answer

0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:18.480
<v Speaker 1>to it. But is your sister completely gone to you?

0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:26.680
<v Speaker 1>Or if if she did, is there an effort or

0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:29.800
<v Speaker 1>in anything that she could put in or show to

0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:33.840
<v Speaker 1>you or do for herself or anything at all, like.

0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:35.840
<v Speaker 2>Any way to any way to earn her back in

0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:36.760
<v Speaker 2>my mind, like.

0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, and there's no right or wrong answer.

0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:49.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, like one thing first would be definitely just because Okay.

0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 2>One one thing too is that these weren't even technically

0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:56.000
<v Speaker 2>her dogs. These were her husband's dogs originally, and like

0:14:56.080 --> 0:15:00.680
<v Speaker 2>when they when they moved in together, they became their dogs. Yeah,

0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 2>so she really killed her husband's her husband's.

0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:04.640
<v Speaker 3>Dogs, and.

0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:08.320
<v Speaker 2>For once she would need to apologize to him and

0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:10.400
<v Speaker 2>make everything right with him that she she hasn't this

0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:12.080
<v Speaker 2>whole time and has just been sitting in her room

0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:14.040
<v Speaker 2>playing games and trying to hide from him and act

0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.480
<v Speaker 2>like you know, this wasn't a big deal when her

0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:21.120
<v Speaker 2>parents or our parents have failed her out for all

0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:25.960
<v Speaker 2>this shit that she has done. M hm, and like

0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:31.040
<v Speaker 2>she because not only do my parents not pretend like

0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:33.880
<v Speaker 2>nothing happened, but like whenever I do, like a few

0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.240
<v Speaker 2>times that I do see her and I have to

0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.520
<v Speaker 2>actually have an interaction with her, she she acts like

0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.680
<v Speaker 2>nothing's happened this whole time either, and like that this

0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:43.480
<v Speaker 2>is the wrong situation that she's put us in, and

0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:46.600
<v Speaker 2>so step wanted to at least acknowledge that she's wrong.

0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so before we even before the germ of the

0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:56.920
<v Speaker 1>idea even comes anywhere close to entering the mind of her,

0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.240
<v Speaker 1>you know, coming back to you in any way year

0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:04.400
<v Speaker 1>orfore him, she would have to admit that she did

0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:08.200
<v Speaker 1>something wrong. And it sounds like we're extremely far away

0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:12.840
<v Speaker 1>from that. Yes, And it sounds like we don't want.

0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:13.840
<v Speaker 2>To waste any time.

0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, and we do. And we don't want to

0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:20.680
<v Speaker 1>waste any precious time waiting around for that to change.

0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.520
<v Speaker 2>No, because, like like I said before too, she she's

0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:30.240
<v Speaker 2>been like for a while where she just well butt heads,

0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.560
<v Speaker 2>didn't completely refuse any like blame to go on her.

0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.680
<v Speaker 2>She just can't accept that she can be wrong with

0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:37.400
<v Speaker 2>a situation.

0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:41.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, how about your parents, your parents, you're so, you're

0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:44.320
<v Speaker 1>so tell me this. So your sister is completely far gone.

0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:46.120
<v Speaker 1>We don't see any time in the future of her

0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:49.040
<v Speaker 1>being able to admit what she's done wrong. Tell me

0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:54.320
<v Speaker 1>about your parents. Do you see them at all coming

0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:55.160
<v Speaker 1>to their senses?

0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:06.040
<v Speaker 2>Honestly, sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. Like with

0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:08.760
<v Speaker 2>my parents, sometimes I can have conversations with them where

0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:11.119
<v Speaker 2>it's just us and we're talking about other regular things,

0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:13.320
<v Speaker 2>and they can they're like, they can be very sensible people.

0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:17.679
<v Speaker 2>But then there can be big situations like this obviously,

0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:22.000
<v Speaker 2>which is a very straightforward, like for me at least,

0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.199
<v Speaker 2>when I think about this, I say, wow, somebody just

0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:27.400
<v Speaker 2>neglected dogs for a video game and would let them

0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.919
<v Speaker 2>start to death. They're a terrible person that they should

0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:31.160
<v Speaker 2>like pay for that.

0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:32.000
<v Speaker 3>That's fucked up.

0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:34.200
<v Speaker 2>And my parents just don't see it the same way.

0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.879
<v Speaker 2>And they always push for like that super perfect family

0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:44.520
<v Speaker 2>like ideal, and it's just it's just they push everyone

0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.560
<v Speaker 2>too far, and then from for her, they just they'll

0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:50.120
<v Speaker 2>let shit like this slide because they want to try

0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:53.480
<v Speaker 2>to cover up the whole projection of our family to

0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:56.000
<v Speaker 2>other people. I guess maybe like they don't want to

0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.480
<v Speaker 2>act like we're going through anything wrong and like everything's

0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:02.160
<v Speaker 2>just cool, so.

0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:07.399
<v Speaker 1>So Branden, I think ultimately, you know, I think it

0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:15.280
<v Speaker 1>was good to kind of explore this situation, but ultimately

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.320
<v Speaker 1>I feel like, going back to what I said at

0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:21.800
<v Speaker 1>the beginning, you're not going to be able to change

0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:24.159
<v Speaker 1>your sister. You're not going to be able to change

0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:28.680
<v Speaker 1>your family. You can only express to them what you

0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:32.800
<v Speaker 1>would like to see happen, and then it is up

0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:35.639
<v Speaker 1>to them as to what they want to do with

0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:40.439
<v Speaker 1>that information that you've expressed. So what I would do

0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:45.879
<v Speaker 1>is sit your parents, if you haven't they're ready, and

0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:48.680
<v Speaker 1>tell me if you have, But sit your parents down

0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:53.600
<v Speaker 1>and really expressed to them your feelings about the situation,

0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:59.320
<v Speaker 1>just just as honestly and courageously as you can, and

0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:03.479
<v Speaker 1>then let that sit with them. And then once you've

0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:10.720
<v Speaker 1>done that, my friend, you've done everything that you can do.

0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:13.199
<v Speaker 1>And then let's go back to the thing that you

0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:17.639
<v Speaker 1>were asking earlier, which is should I just go on

0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.439
<v Speaker 1>and leave this situation and not worry about it and

0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:25.359
<v Speaker 1>live my own life. The answers are restounding, Yes, okay,

0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:28.760
<v Speaker 1>because I know that this is a pretty fucked up

0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.840
<v Speaker 1>thing and shitty situation. I know you feel bad for

0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.879
<v Speaker 1>your sister, who you know is a little bit younger

0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:36.439
<v Speaker 1>than you and might be a little bit more in

0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:39.720
<v Speaker 1>the trenches of it since she's still in high school

0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:43.359
<v Speaker 1>and living there. And I respect the amount of empathy

0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:45.000
<v Speaker 1>that you have for the people that you care about

0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:48.640
<v Speaker 1>in this situation. But you got to go and live

0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:54.320
<v Speaker 1>your own life. So map a game plan out financially

0:19:57.200 --> 0:20:04.760
<v Speaker 1>right now to moving out and building your own life.

0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Because the fucking worst thing that I could see happening

0:20:09.560 --> 0:20:13.679
<v Speaker 1>for you from this situation is that you get so

0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:18.639
<v Speaker 1>embroiled in this family drama that you you, like we've established,

0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:24.360
<v Speaker 1>don't have power within because you're not the people that

0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:29.479
<v Speaker 1>you just are. Are spending your expending a lot of

0:20:29.600 --> 0:20:33.240
<v Speaker 1>time and energy on a dark thing that you could

0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:37.640
<v Speaker 1>be spending focusing on yourself and building up your own life.

0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.000
<v Speaker 1>And I don't I don't want to see you fall

0:20:40.040 --> 0:20:42.680
<v Speaker 1>into that. And I think you know that you you

0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:45.280
<v Speaker 1>know you you asked me should I go and live

0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:46.679
<v Speaker 1>my own life and not worry about that? But I

0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:49.399
<v Speaker 1>think you asked me as a confirmation because you know

0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:52.280
<v Speaker 1>that's what you're gonna go do, and I think that

0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:53.360
<v Speaker 1>that is what you should go do.

0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:57.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, can I know you and I know how you

0:20:57.119 --> 0:21:00.720
<v Speaker 2>think about it too. I just it's nice to hear.

0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:04.359
<v Speaker 2>And and no, I haven't I haven't had that conversation

0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:06.200
<v Speaker 2>with my parents yet where I really do put the

0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:11.160
<v Speaker 2>full spirit into it. And I hope that I can

0:21:11.200 --> 0:21:11.880
<v Speaker 2>do that soon.

0:21:12.720 --> 0:21:14.560
<v Speaker 1>And listen, Brandon, let me tell you. Can I tell

0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:16.720
<v Speaker 1>you another thing? Can't tell you another thing if it's

0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:21.159
<v Speaker 1>really important, if it's really important to you, if it

0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:23.760
<v Speaker 1>and take some time to think about whether it's really

0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:27.640
<v Speaker 1>important to you. If it's really important to you, then

0:21:27.760 --> 0:21:31.400
<v Speaker 1>then do it. Have the conversation. But you don't have to. Man,

0:21:31.800 --> 0:21:34.960
<v Speaker 1>if you're looking at your family situation, you're just like, dude,

0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:38.840
<v Speaker 1>fuck this. You feel empowered to go, dude, fuck this

0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:41.320
<v Speaker 1>and leave and don't even have the conversation. It's a

0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:42.720
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of about what you want.

0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:47.600
<v Speaker 2>To do, Okay, And can I ask one more question

0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:48.119
<v Speaker 2>for you?

0:21:48.240 --> 0:21:48.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:21:48.560 --> 0:21:49.160
<v Speaker 1>What's up? Man?

0:21:52.000 --> 0:21:56.560
<v Speaker 2>If when I do move out and I'm planning on

0:21:56.680 --> 0:21:59.560
<v Speaker 2>possibly taking my little sister with me, yeah, do you

0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:03.200
<v Speaker 2>think that how long do you think I should allow

0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:05.760
<v Speaker 2>myself to keep an open heart towards my parents and

0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:10.240
<v Speaker 2>my older sister before I really just do give up

0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:11.679
<v Speaker 2>on it and leave it behind forever.

0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:15.199
<v Speaker 1>I actually think I have an answer to that. You

0:22:15.200 --> 0:22:19.360
<v Speaker 1>should do it until you notice that it is negatively

0:22:19.400 --> 0:22:30.120
<v Speaker 1>affecting you even the slightest amounts understood, Braden, Man, thank

0:22:30.119 --> 0:22:34.760
<v Speaker 1>you for sharing all this stuff with us, and you know, seriously,

0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:35.439
<v Speaker 1>good luck to you.

0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:35.640
<v Speaker 2>Man.

0:22:35.640 --> 0:22:38.240
<v Speaker 1>I hope that you don't get too wrapped up in

0:22:38.280 --> 0:22:41.000
<v Speaker 1>this stuff, and I hope that you're able to you know,

0:22:41.080 --> 0:22:44.000
<v Speaker 1>within all this kind of fucked up family stuff to

0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:47.359
<v Speaker 1>clear out space for yourself, because you seem like a

0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:49.480
<v Speaker 1>really nice guy who cares about other people and you

0:22:49.880 --> 0:22:53.240
<v Speaker 1>deserve that. So I hope you're able to find that headspace.

0:22:54.960 --> 0:22:57.600
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, man, and that means a lot. And thanks

0:22:57.600 --> 0:22:58.840
<v Speaker 2>for taking my call brother.

0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:00.760
<v Speaker 1>Of course. Man else you want to say to the

0:23:00.800 --> 0:23:01.800
<v Speaker 1>people of the computer.

0:23:03.200 --> 0:23:05.639
<v Speaker 2>Hey, I love y'all. I have a beautiful night, and

0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:07.960
<v Speaker 2>mister Geto have fun on your tour. I hope to

0:23:08.040 --> 0:23:08.600
<v Speaker 2>catch you soon.

0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:10.920
<v Speaker 1>Hey, thank you man, I appreciate it. Talk to you soon,

0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:20.120
<v Speaker 1>talk to you soon. Who I like that guy a lot, man,

0:23:20.320 --> 0:23:25.840
<v Speaker 1>I I I really do. And it's it's uh. He

0:23:25.880 --> 0:23:28.280
<v Speaker 1>brought up a situation that I think a lot of

0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:31.119
<v Speaker 1>callers have dealt with in the past, that we've talked

0:23:31.119 --> 0:23:34.720
<v Speaker 1>to and that you know, I assume people in general

0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:38.119
<v Speaker 1>just deal with where Like I mean, your family is

0:23:38.160 --> 0:23:42.720
<v Speaker 1>the first thing you know. So when you're growing up,

0:23:43.320 --> 0:23:48.440
<v Speaker 1>your family dynamics and your family drama, they they they're everything.

0:23:48.480 --> 0:23:51.879
<v Speaker 1>They're the world that you live in. It's all you

0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:56.119
<v Speaker 1>know and your tunnel visioned into it. And then you

0:23:56.240 --> 0:24:01.560
<v Speaker 1>get to a certain age you get to and you

0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:09.119
<v Speaker 1>can you realize that uh uh, you don't have to

0:24:09.160 --> 0:24:12.040
<v Speaker 1>be involved with this shit if you don't want to.

0:24:12.440 --> 0:24:16.199
<v Speaker 1>Hopefully you realize that you're powerless in a lot of

0:24:16.240 --> 0:24:18.520
<v Speaker 1>this ship and that's not a bad thing. It's just

0:24:18.520 --> 0:24:23.840
<v Speaker 1>just the reality. You fucking can't change you're any member

0:24:23.840 --> 0:24:27.520
<v Speaker 1>of your family. You can't. You can't change anyone to

0:24:27.640 --> 0:24:33.080
<v Speaker 1>ever do cannot ever make anyone fucking do anything or

0:24:33.160 --> 0:24:35.919
<v Speaker 1>feel anything, or think anything or change their mind on anything.

0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:40.359
<v Speaker 1>You can do your best to vocalize it, but you

0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:48.040
<v Speaker 1>just got to accept your powerlessness and fucking be like, well, well, guys, listen,

0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:51.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna I'm piecing out of here and I'm gonna

0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:55.480
<v Speaker 1>go build my own life and not get super lost

0:24:55.520 --> 0:24:57.879
<v Speaker 1>in the in the drama of it all. And I

0:24:57.920 --> 0:25:01.639
<v Speaker 1>get it's hard for Braden because he cares about you know,

0:25:02.080 --> 0:25:05.000
<v Speaker 1>he cares about his his family. Because if he, if

0:25:05.040 --> 0:25:06.920
<v Speaker 1>he truly didn't give a shit, he wouldn't be talking

0:25:06.920 --> 0:25:09.520
<v Speaker 1>about any of this stuff. It wouldn't be bothering him.

0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:12.480
<v Speaker 1>And that's what he's wrestling with, is the is the

0:25:12.880 --> 0:25:16.880
<v Speaker 1>care comes from a sweet place, you know. That's why

0:25:16.880 --> 0:25:20.840
<v Speaker 1>he talked about how much should I have an open heart?

0:25:21.800 --> 0:25:25.320
<v Speaker 1>And that was a really interesting question. He asked, for

0:25:25.440 --> 0:25:29.879
<v Speaker 1>how long should I keep an open heart toward you know,

0:25:30.000 --> 0:25:36.040
<v Speaker 1>my family, with this fucked up drama going on, And

0:25:36.520 --> 0:25:39.960
<v Speaker 1>the answer is, you know, until it is fucking with

0:25:40.000 --> 0:25:43.359
<v Speaker 1>his ability, if it for as long as it does

0:25:43.440 --> 0:25:48.879
<v Speaker 1>not fuck with his ability to build his own life.

0:25:50.640 --> 0:25:58.719
<v Speaker 1>And you know, maybe maybe right now the answer is no,

0:25:58.800 --> 0:26:02.320
<v Speaker 1>I cannot keep an open home art because it is

0:26:02.400 --> 0:26:05.240
<v Speaker 1>fucking with my ability to build my own life. But

0:26:05.400 --> 0:26:07.520
<v Speaker 1>maybe that's not the case in five years. Maybe in

0:26:07.600 --> 0:26:12.520
<v Speaker 1>five years, once all of the the emotions that are

0:26:12.560 --> 0:26:17.320
<v Speaker 1>really fresh and rushing through him right now are a

0:26:17.359 --> 0:26:20.439
<v Speaker 1>little bit more stale, maybe it's a little easier to

0:26:20.480 --> 0:26:24.160
<v Speaker 1>have an open heart. It doesn't have to be right now.

0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:27.760
<v Speaker 1>It can wait. But seriously, good luck to you, Bradon Man.

0:26:27.800 --> 0:26:30.560
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for sharing all that stuff, and we're rooting

0:26:30.600 --> 0:26:30.840
<v Speaker 1>for you.

0:26:33.560 --> 0:26:37.840
<v Speaker 3>Hello. Is this a gag?

0:26:39.000 --> 0:26:40.480
<v Speaker 1>Yes, sir? Is this Ryan?

0:26:42.640 --> 0:26:46.040
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god? Yes, I love your show.

0:26:47.520 --> 0:26:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Ryan. It says here you've been jacking off onto your

0:26:50.720 --> 0:26:53.960
<v Speaker 1>brother's towel for ten years.

0:26:54.720 --> 0:26:58.800
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh. Okay, we'll be dump them right into it.

0:27:00.160 --> 0:27:05.240
<v Speaker 3>So it's really weird to say like where this started,

0:27:05.280 --> 0:27:10.000
<v Speaker 3>but obviously it started at a young age because I

0:27:10.040 --> 0:27:12.120
<v Speaker 3>figured it out, like you know, when you know you're

0:27:12.160 --> 0:27:14.240
<v Speaker 3>little and you're kind of figure out what like masturbating is,

0:27:14.320 --> 0:27:17.159
<v Speaker 3>and then you're kind of just like sitting there and

0:27:17.200 --> 0:27:21.200
<v Speaker 3>y'all dirty, and you're like, huh, I have all this

0:27:21.240 --> 0:27:23.840
<v Speaker 3>stuff on me? How I get rid of this? And

0:27:23.960 --> 0:27:25.480
<v Speaker 3>you know, I just you know, walk over to the

0:27:25.520 --> 0:27:29.600
<v Speaker 3>bathroom and get rid of the excrement and dispose of it.

0:27:30.200 --> 0:27:34.639
<v Speaker 3>And then my brother started to upset me because I

0:27:34.720 --> 0:27:36.800
<v Speaker 3>was a you know, I thought to go to my

0:27:36.880 --> 0:27:39.800
<v Speaker 3>brother would do something to me, and I would, uh,

0:27:40.880 --> 0:27:42.640
<v Speaker 3>you know, go into his room, flip his bed over,

0:27:42.800 --> 0:27:44.359
<v Speaker 3>like mess with this ship. Like he did something to

0:27:44.400 --> 0:27:48.440
<v Speaker 3>me that I didn't like. And then I figured out,

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:52.639
<v Speaker 3>you know, what jacking off was, and I very soonly

0:27:53.000 --> 0:27:55.000
<v Speaker 3>quickly came to a realization that I can get like

0:27:55.760 --> 0:27:58.080
<v Speaker 3>he gret ninja revenge as like Bobby put it, like

0:27:58.160 --> 0:28:01.280
<v Speaker 3>ninja revenge on my brother would at him knowing so

0:28:01.440 --> 0:28:03.720
<v Speaker 3>like and he didn't know it either, but like it's

0:28:03.720 --> 0:28:05.199
<v Speaker 3>the thing is that I knew it.

0:28:05.440 --> 0:28:07.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if ninjas want to be associated with

0:28:07.720 --> 0:28:14.520
<v Speaker 1>this tactic of revenge, but continue, Yeah.

0:28:14.080 --> 0:28:17.080
<v Speaker 3>So I think this. I just wanted to call because

0:28:17.119 --> 0:28:19.800
<v Speaker 3>I figured that I kind of wanted to say the

0:28:19.840 --> 0:28:22.000
<v Speaker 3>secret a little bit, you know, just get it out there,

0:28:22.000 --> 0:28:25.560
<v Speaker 3>because he just moved away to college and I think

0:28:25.640 --> 0:28:29.000
<v Speaker 3>that this period of my life is starting to come

0:28:29.040 --> 0:28:31.040
<v Speaker 3>to a close, and I think I am ready to

0:28:31.160 --> 0:28:34.760
<v Speaker 3>overcome it. But I figured why not let other people know,

0:28:35.119 --> 0:28:37.680
<v Speaker 3>because you never know, it might have like a fibling

0:28:37.720 --> 0:28:39.840
<v Speaker 3>out there getting like ninja or secret revenge on you

0:28:40.840 --> 0:28:42.360
<v Speaker 3>not ninja. I don't want associate. I won't.

0:28:42.680 --> 0:28:45.480
<v Speaker 1>I have multiple questions that I feel like we're not

0:28:46.560 --> 0:28:52.600
<v Speaker 1>answered through your your abstract of the situation. And the

0:28:52.600 --> 0:28:55.280
<v Speaker 1>first one is, you know, it'd be one thing if

0:28:55.320 --> 0:28:58.080
<v Speaker 1>you told me that there was a time where your

0:28:58.080 --> 0:29:00.240
<v Speaker 1>brother did something to piss you off, and so as

0:29:00.240 --> 0:29:02.840
<v Speaker 1>revenge you jacked off onto his towel and he used it.

0:29:02.920 --> 0:29:07.680
<v Speaker 1>Ha ha, won and done. But you did this recurringly

0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:11.520
<v Speaker 1>over the course of ten years.

0:29:11.840 --> 0:29:16.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was because I would just like think of like, yeah,

0:29:16.200 --> 0:29:18.200
<v Speaker 3>because there'd be like days while I'm just like sitting there,

0:29:18.360 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 3>like I'll come up like my my brother, uh, you know,

0:29:23.240 --> 0:29:27.360
<v Speaker 3>really got me upset, and I would do it like

0:29:27.400 --> 0:29:30.200
<v Speaker 3>out of out of fight on him. But do you

0:29:29.840 --> 0:29:36.240
<v Speaker 3>know your brother, No, I don't know. On and off

0:29:36.280 --> 0:29:37.240
<v Speaker 3>we argue a lot.

0:29:37.640 --> 0:29:41.080
<v Speaker 1>But then this day, where Ryan, Ryan, did you really

0:29:41.080 --> 0:29:44.560
<v Speaker 1>do this for ten years? That's a long time.

0:29:46.320 --> 0:29:49.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's a long time.

0:29:50.240 --> 0:29:52.240
<v Speaker 1>And this was and you're twenty one, so this was

0:29:52.240 --> 0:29:54.960
<v Speaker 1>from the you started doing this when you were eleven,

0:29:55.280 --> 0:29:57.800
<v Speaker 1>and you did it for ten years? How okay, okay,

0:29:57.840 --> 0:30:00.000
<v Speaker 1>tell me this, tell me this, Tell me this ten years.

0:30:00.160 --> 0:30:03.440
<v Speaker 1>Over the course of the ten years, how many times

0:30:03.520 --> 0:30:04.200
<v Speaker 1>do you think you did it?

0:30:06.680 --> 0:30:12.120
<v Speaker 3>Oh? Well, you consider, oh my god, at least once

0:30:12.160 --> 0:30:14.120
<v Speaker 3>a day. I think that'd be like my minimum.

0:30:15.080 --> 0:30:19.080
<v Speaker 1>You did it every day for ten years.

0:30:20.120 --> 0:30:21.840
<v Speaker 3>Every day, but you know there's some days you do

0:30:21.880 --> 0:30:23.680
<v Speaker 3>it more. Sometimes you're wait for a weekend.

0:30:24.440 --> 0:30:27.120
<v Speaker 1>Ryan, Why do you hate your brother so much?

0:30:29.360 --> 0:30:31.480
<v Speaker 3>There were days you're like, you know, like my brother

0:30:31.520 --> 0:30:33.640
<v Speaker 3>he did something nice for me, so then I wouldn't

0:30:33.680 --> 0:30:34.000
<v Speaker 3>do it.

0:30:34.440 --> 0:30:39.080
<v Speaker 1>But okay, so you're telling me. Fine, So your relationship

0:30:39.080 --> 0:30:41.440
<v Speaker 1>with your brother is such that you fucking hate him

0:30:41.560 --> 0:30:46.040
<v Speaker 1>so much that it's a given that every day you're

0:30:46.040 --> 0:30:49.200
<v Speaker 1>gonna jack off onto his towel, and if he's nice

0:30:49.200 --> 0:30:50.560
<v Speaker 1>to you, then you won't.

0:30:53.560 --> 0:30:58.360
<v Speaker 3>Sure, I guess it also kind of depends on my mood.

0:30:58.400 --> 0:31:01.760
<v Speaker 3>I guess if I'm feeling like it'll like revenge type mood.

0:31:02.800 --> 0:31:09.120
<v Speaker 1>If you're feeling a revenge and I have both lives, right, Ryan,

0:31:09.240 --> 0:31:12.760
<v Speaker 1>Please don't answer this question. Why do you hate your brother?

0:31:15.040 --> 0:31:19.920
<v Speaker 3>No, he's a good person. No, I just like there

0:31:19.960 --> 0:31:22.400
<v Speaker 3>were just times in our childhood and like there's like

0:31:22.600 --> 0:31:25.600
<v Speaker 3>little like annoyances I would get and I just kind

0:31:25.600 --> 0:31:27.000
<v Speaker 3>of like get back at him. But I'm like, you know,

0:31:27.000 --> 0:31:29.200
<v Speaker 3>in a way he would notice. I feel like every

0:31:29.240 --> 0:31:31.480
<v Speaker 3>change of towel is pretty often, so it's not like

0:31:31.520 --> 0:31:34.960
<v Speaker 3>it was you know, accumulats like months on one towel,

0:31:34.960 --> 0:31:36.160
<v Speaker 3>that'd be pretty bad.

0:31:37.360 --> 0:31:39.760
<v Speaker 1>All right. So yes, when you were a child, Yes,

0:31:40.120 --> 0:31:42.880
<v Speaker 1>So yes, when you were a child, your brother would

0:31:42.880 --> 0:31:44.680
<v Speaker 1>piss you off and you would jack off in his

0:31:44.800 --> 0:31:47.600
<v Speaker 1>towel when you were thirteen, when you were nineteen years old,

0:31:49.160 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck was going on?

0:31:54.440 --> 0:31:58.600
<v Speaker 3>He's just like especially that's when yeah, nine team was COVID.

0:31:59.040 --> 0:32:02.200
<v Speaker 3>You can imagine being dup in your house with your brother,

0:32:03.120 --> 0:32:04.840
<v Speaker 3>and you know it wouldn't even just like me personally,

0:32:04.960 --> 0:32:07.800
<v Speaker 3>sometimes you like get my parents angry, and I just

0:32:07.840 --> 0:32:10.520
<v Speaker 3>you know, like find it, you know, take it upon myself,

0:32:10.560 --> 0:32:13.560
<v Speaker 3>like vigilante kind of typening vigilante revenge.

0:32:15.440 --> 0:32:17.560
<v Speaker 1>So okay, I'm just gonna budd up a little bit

0:32:17.600 --> 0:32:19.840
<v Speaker 1>of a scoreboard here only, And this is just for

0:32:19.920 --> 0:32:23.840
<v Speaker 1>me and for the people listening. I need you to understand, Ryan,

0:32:23.880 --> 0:32:27.840
<v Speaker 1>that the people listening when it comes to the characterization

0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:29.960
<v Speaker 1>of you right now and the characterization of your brother,

0:32:30.600 --> 0:32:34.440
<v Speaker 1>what we know about your brother is that when you

0:32:34.480 --> 0:32:36.400
<v Speaker 1>guys were kids who would annoyed you every once in

0:32:36.400 --> 0:32:39.800
<v Speaker 1>a while. And what we know about you is that

0:32:39.960 --> 0:32:44.160
<v Speaker 1>every day for ten years you jacked off onto his towel.

0:32:45.760 --> 0:32:49.520
<v Speaker 1>So I I just give us something Ryan that we

0:32:49.560 --> 0:32:54.880
<v Speaker 1>can say, Okay, maybe I eat just something by even

0:32:55.840 --> 0:32:59.800
<v Speaker 1>some stretch of an imagination, we can understand why you

0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:00.400
<v Speaker 1>did this.

0:33:03.120 --> 0:33:05.720
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, I guess what my understanding it wasn't just

0:33:05.800 --> 0:33:09.160
<v Speaker 3>like a big deal because again, like he never noticed.

0:33:10.000 --> 0:33:12.800
<v Speaker 3>And I think now that i'm vocalizing and talking with you,

0:33:12.840 --> 0:33:15.520
<v Speaker 3>it's pretty fucked up. But I'll never say it. But again,

0:33:15.560 --> 0:33:17.200
<v Speaker 3>the reason why I'm making this call is because I'm

0:33:17.200 --> 0:33:18.680
<v Speaker 3>moving out from that point in my life.

0:33:25.360 --> 0:33:28.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, so you're admitting that it was so you're

0:33:28.480 --> 0:33:29.680
<v Speaker 1>admitting that it was fucked up.

0:33:31.280 --> 0:33:32.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was pretty fucked up.

0:33:32.720 --> 0:33:34.760
<v Speaker 1>And over the course of ten years, did that thought

0:33:35.440 --> 0:33:36.480
<v Speaker 1>ever come into your head?

0:33:38.280 --> 0:33:42.280
<v Speaker 3>It kind of just, I don't know, revenge different things

0:33:42.280 --> 0:33:47.120
<v Speaker 3>to your brain. Man, I think, I don't know, I'm

0:33:47.160 --> 0:33:48.280
<v Speaker 3>not an only eventful person.

0:33:48.320 --> 0:33:51.080
<v Speaker 1>But don't say that at all. That's a lie. It's

0:33:51.080 --> 0:33:51.959
<v Speaker 1>a complete lie.

0:33:52.320 --> 0:33:54.160
<v Speaker 3>I guess good, because it was like my little secret

0:33:54.280 --> 0:33:56.960
<v Speaker 3>was like a little secret for me and myself only.

0:33:59.240 --> 0:34:07.640
<v Speaker 1>Ryan, Yes, give us to give us one single tangible

0:34:09.680 --> 0:34:17.120
<v Speaker 1>example of anything your brother did to piss you off

0:34:17.360 --> 0:34:18.520
<v Speaker 1>over the past ten years.

0:34:20.040 --> 0:34:24.560
<v Speaker 3>I can give you a recent example, please. It was

0:34:24.600 --> 0:34:27.040
<v Speaker 3>this past summer. And again, like you figured like he'd

0:34:27.040 --> 0:34:30.400
<v Speaker 3>be mature for his age. I guess give him to

0:34:30.440 --> 0:34:34.360
<v Speaker 3>the specifics. But we went on a camping trip between

0:34:34.360 --> 0:34:38.919
<v Speaker 3>me and my friends and we were all there having

0:34:38.960 --> 0:34:40.759
<v Speaker 3>a great time, and you know, we're all just doing

0:34:40.800 --> 0:34:42.239
<v Speaker 3>stuff and I kind of like took upon myself to

0:34:42.320 --> 0:34:45.080
<v Speaker 3>organize a lot of trips. But that a lot of

0:34:45.160 --> 0:34:47.200
<v Speaker 3>times you wouldn't help out on the camps, like because

0:34:47.200 --> 0:34:48.719
<v Speaker 3>you know, you're kind of like living in the woods, like,

0:34:48.760 --> 0:34:51.279
<v Speaker 3>you know, on your lonesome. Not a lot of there's

0:34:51.280 --> 0:34:53.880
<v Speaker 3>only like a few of us, so everyone had to

0:34:53.920 --> 0:34:56.120
<v Speaker 3>do their fair share. Of a you know activity to

0:34:56.120 --> 0:34:58.360
<v Speaker 3>make sure you know, well being clean, being you know,

0:34:58.440 --> 0:35:02.200
<v Speaker 3>responsible for the campsite, making sure it's clean. But there

0:35:02.200 --> 0:35:04.200
<v Speaker 3>were just a lot of times where we just wasn't

0:35:04.239 --> 0:35:08.759
<v Speaker 3>helping out and was yelling at me and argue with

0:35:08.800 --> 0:35:10.239
<v Speaker 3>me when I was like trying to like, you know,

0:35:10.320 --> 0:35:13.080
<v Speaker 3>gather everyone to do an activity or you know, help

0:35:13.120 --> 0:35:15.800
<v Speaker 3>clean up, make food and stuff like that, and he

0:35:15.800 --> 0:35:18.759
<v Speaker 3>would just non stop argue with me. And this was

0:35:18.800 --> 0:35:23.000
<v Speaker 3>this extended from the entire trip, from being on the

0:35:23.040 --> 0:35:27.600
<v Speaker 3>campsite to doing the activity we were doing for the

0:35:27.600 --> 0:35:30.319
<v Speaker 3>the main reason we were there, and the argument was

0:35:30.320 --> 0:35:31.640
<v Speaker 3>just kind of the whole trip so kind of just

0:35:31.680 --> 0:35:34.440
<v Speaker 3>like manifested into me. Wanted to go home, not this

0:35:34.560 --> 0:35:36.480
<v Speaker 3>wasn't a desire, but like my mextion.

0:35:36.320 --> 0:35:41.520
<v Speaker 1>Time, Ryan, do you think, Ryan, do you think? Do

0:35:41.560 --> 0:35:45.920
<v Speaker 1>you think that all of the calm of his little

0:35:45.920 --> 0:35:52.240
<v Speaker 1>brother that he's absorbed into his system over the past decade,

0:35:53.120 --> 0:35:54.759
<v Speaker 1>that's what you're doing. But I said, you know, it

0:35:54.840 --> 0:35:56.839
<v Speaker 1>sounds it sounds really gross when I say it, right,

0:35:56.840 --> 0:35:57.760
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like weird.

0:35:57.800 --> 0:36:00.719
<v Speaker 3>And that's what you've been.

0:36:01.160 --> 0:36:04.920
<v Speaker 1>That's you. That's not me, that's you. I'm putting it

0:36:05.000 --> 0:36:07.239
<v Speaker 1>under a microscope right now. But that's all you, and

0:36:07.280 --> 0:36:11.759
<v Speaker 1>they disgust your feeling right now, that's it's all you. Man,

0:36:11.800 --> 0:36:15.200
<v Speaker 1>don't blame me. Do you think that's getting to him?

0:36:15.239 --> 0:36:21.279
<v Speaker 1>Perhaps that's affecting his mood, that's causing him to be

0:36:21.320 --> 0:36:22.960
<v Speaker 1>a little less helpful.

0:36:23.200 --> 0:36:26.480
<v Speaker 3>That Oh, that's like a positive feedback loot or like

0:36:26.520 --> 0:36:28.360
<v Speaker 3>makeing a feedback loop. That's not good. I hope I

0:36:28.520 --> 0:36:33.520
<v Speaker 3>wasn't doing that. Oh no, your scientists have not yet

0:36:33.640 --> 0:36:35.280
<v Speaker 3>studied the bad mood.

0:36:35.760 --> 0:36:38.719
<v Speaker 1>The effects of rubbing your little brothers come all over

0:36:38.760 --> 0:36:44.040
<v Speaker 1>your body every day years. That's what you're doing. Don't

0:36:44.080 --> 0:36:46.440
<v Speaker 1>say no is if I said something that's you you

0:36:47.120 --> 0:36:48.879
<v Speaker 1>This is that's not new to you. This is every

0:36:48.960 --> 0:36:51.680
<v Speaker 1>day for ten years. You're reacting to it as if

0:36:51.719 --> 0:36:53.719
<v Speaker 1>you've just found out about it now that you've been

0:36:53.719 --> 0:36:55.800
<v Speaker 1>doing it, this has been your life.

0:36:58.840 --> 0:37:05.520
<v Speaker 3>I guess you're right, though I'm not in if if

0:37:05.520 --> 0:37:09.839
<v Speaker 3>someone told that to me, yeah, I don't know how

0:37:09.880 --> 0:37:12.600
<v Speaker 3>I had. I think I really, you know, give him

0:37:12.600 --> 0:37:15.800
<v Speaker 3>a little punch or something. But like to be honest,

0:37:16.160 --> 0:37:18.319
<v Speaker 3>the fact that I didn't know, and they at least

0:37:18.320 --> 0:37:20.160
<v Speaker 3>we're letting me know. Under this circumstance that they were

0:37:20.160 --> 0:37:22.800
<v Speaker 3>like not doing anymore, you know, go to the bathroom

0:37:22.800 --> 0:37:25.719
<v Speaker 3>and change my towel immediately. But uh, I think it

0:37:25.719 --> 0:37:29.359
<v Speaker 3>would be that big of a deal. Maybe I'm saying

0:37:29.360 --> 0:37:33.120
<v Speaker 3>that because I've done it, but you know, it's a towel.

0:37:33.320 --> 0:37:36.880
<v Speaker 3>You just you know, we changed every you know, other weeks,

0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:39.759
<v Speaker 3>So it could it could be worse. You could be

0:37:39.800 --> 0:37:43.040
<v Speaker 3>like someone who changed the towel, like, you know, every

0:37:43.239 --> 0:37:46.560
<v Speaker 3>couple of months. That'd be oh my god, the smell wretched.

0:37:48.280 --> 0:37:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Right, I think you're letting yourself off too easy.

0:37:51.560 --> 0:37:56.319
<v Speaker 3>Maybe I am, at least I'm getting this all out

0:37:56.360 --> 0:37:58.239
<v Speaker 3>now that in the rough week. But this, this is good,

0:37:58.360 --> 0:38:00.719
<v Speaker 3>This is good, This is helpful. Glad that this is

0:38:00.719 --> 0:38:01.120
<v Speaker 3>coming to it.

0:38:01.360 --> 0:38:06.719
<v Speaker 1>You basically you you all right, listen, you jacked off

0:38:06.760 --> 0:38:10.040
<v Speaker 1>onto a towel. You jacked off onto something, and then

0:38:10.080 --> 0:38:12.920
<v Speaker 1>your older brother rubbed it all over himself. You're like

0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:20.120
<v Speaker 1>a step removed from jacking off onto your brother. You're

0:38:20.160 --> 0:38:23.280
<v Speaker 1>a step removed your brother. You're like your brother probably

0:38:23.320 --> 0:38:26.040
<v Speaker 1>washed his face with a towel. You are a step

0:38:26.200 --> 0:38:31.560
<v Speaker 1>removed from giving your brother a facial It was painful.

0:38:31.800 --> 0:38:34.239
<v Speaker 3>It was like volta ignorance. I guess you could say

0:38:34.600 --> 0:38:37.920
<v Speaker 3>ignorance is bliss when you really think about it. Oh man,

0:38:38.040 --> 0:38:39.719
<v Speaker 3>you're like cleaning my head now, like all these things

0:38:39.719 --> 0:38:40.760
<v Speaker 3>he probably did with the towel.

0:38:41.320 --> 0:38:46.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he probably rubbed the towel on his penis. You

0:38:47.040 --> 0:38:50.160
<v Speaker 1>comed on I'm gonna you combed on your brother's stomach,

0:38:50.440 --> 0:38:53.680
<v Speaker 1>You comed on your brother's face, You combed on your

0:38:53.719 --> 0:38:59.240
<v Speaker 1>brother's eyes, You combed all over your brother for ten years. Ryan.

0:39:03.040 --> 0:39:06.680
<v Speaker 3>Oh no, I'm going to repent this.

0:39:07.200 --> 0:39:10.239
<v Speaker 1>You have to tell You have to tell him. You

0:39:10.239 --> 0:39:14.400
<v Speaker 1>don't repent to me, you repent to him.

0:39:14.480 --> 0:39:20.720
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, maybe we're both like officially moved out.

0:39:22.120 --> 0:39:23.520
<v Speaker 1>You know, that's a good idea.

0:39:24.600 --> 0:39:26.680
<v Speaker 3>That what I can do for now is not do

0:39:26.800 --> 0:39:29.960
<v Speaker 3>that activitymore, but like once we're both officially.

0:39:29.560 --> 0:39:39.719
<v Speaker 1>Moved Ryan Ryan, Bryan, Bryan Bryan Ryan Ryan. Yes, please

0:39:39.760 --> 0:39:42.720
<v Speaker 1>don't call it an activity.

0:39:43.440 --> 0:39:47.719
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to keep it big.

0:39:47.800 --> 0:39:49.480
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how twitches. I'm just trying to keep

0:39:49.480 --> 0:39:50.799
<v Speaker 3>it vague. I'm sorry.

0:39:52.239 --> 0:39:54.080
<v Speaker 1>This is not about twitch, This is not about me.

0:39:55.480 --> 0:39:58.400
<v Speaker 1>This is about you comming on your brother, and uh,

0:39:58.560 --> 0:40:05.080
<v Speaker 1>hopefully you find the courage to tell him. Are you

0:40:05.120 --> 0:40:14.839
<v Speaker 1>gonna do it maybe maybe on my deathbed. Yeah, yeah,

0:40:15.040 --> 0:40:16.359
<v Speaker 1>I know. I agree. I was gonna tell you should

0:40:16.360 --> 0:40:18.439
<v Speaker 1>do it now, But you should totally. You should totally

0:40:18.520 --> 0:40:21.080
<v Speaker 1>not tell him at all. You should definitely. That would

0:40:21.080 --> 0:40:23.640
<v Speaker 1>make it so much worse. Anyway, Ryan, is there anything

0:40:23.600 --> 0:40:24.960
<v Speaker 1>else you want to say to the people the computer

0:40:25.000 --> 0:40:25.400
<v Speaker 1>before we go?

0:40:30.080 --> 0:40:32.640
<v Speaker 3>I've learned a lot and.

0:40:34.840 --> 0:40:39.319
<v Speaker 1>I really have you tell me. Tell me, tell me

0:40:39.360 --> 0:40:40.759
<v Speaker 1>one thing you learned before we go.

0:40:42.160 --> 0:40:45.040
<v Speaker 3>It is very helpful to verbalize things and like talk

0:40:45.120 --> 0:40:47.200
<v Speaker 3>with someone to understand if something sucked up.

0:40:50.320 --> 0:40:51.959
<v Speaker 1>So will you say that you come down your brother?

0:40:54.800 --> 0:40:57.000
<v Speaker 3>No, I would never say that in my life.

0:40:59.440 --> 0:40:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Thank you call.

0:41:00.320 --> 0:41:03.800
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I have a great day, while I hope you

0:41:03.840 --> 0:41:05.520
<v Speaker 3>don't have. Yeah, you're an only child, they'd be okay,

0:41:05.600 --> 0:41:06.840
<v Speaker 3>you're fine, all right, have a good.

0:41:08.960 --> 0:41:09.160
<v Speaker 4>You know.

0:41:09.520 --> 0:41:13.520
<v Speaker 1>Uh, he said, I'll be fine because I'm an only child.

0:41:13.600 --> 0:41:18.680
<v Speaker 1>I'll be fine because I'm not coming on my siblings towels.

0:41:22.239 --> 0:41:25.320
<v Speaker 1>And you know, I have a sister. And fucking Ryan's

0:41:25.360 --> 0:41:28.319
<v Speaker 1>lucky he doesn't have a sister, because if he did,

0:41:28.400 --> 0:41:32.879
<v Speaker 1>she'd be pregnant with a little Ryan incess baby, all

0:41:32.920 --> 0:41:38.680
<v Speaker 1>because she didn't help out of the camping trip. Hello, Hello,

0:41:39.800 --> 0:41:41.560
<v Speaker 1>what's going on with you? Mars?

0:41:43.160 --> 0:41:47.600
<v Speaker 5>So I think my parents are swinging with my neighbors.

0:41:48.360 --> 0:41:52.479
<v Speaker 1>You think your parents are swinging with your neighbors. Yes,

0:41:53.520 --> 0:41:54.440
<v Speaker 1>what has made you think that?

0:41:57.480 --> 0:42:01.719
<v Speaker 5>Well, So, we've lived house that we live in now

0:42:01.800 --> 0:42:05.040
<v Speaker 5>for about five years and these are like my next

0:42:05.040 --> 0:42:08.920
<v Speaker 5>door neighbors, like immediate next door neighbors, and my parents

0:42:09.000 --> 0:42:11.399
<v Speaker 5>have become really good friends with them over the last

0:42:11.440 --> 0:42:16.240
<v Speaker 5>like four years, I would say, But over the last

0:42:16.400 --> 0:42:18.880
<v Speaker 5>like year and a half, I've became friends with my

0:42:18.920 --> 0:42:23.640
<v Speaker 5>neighbor's son and his girlfriend, like best friends. And they're

0:42:23.680 --> 0:42:26.759
<v Speaker 5>always throwing parties like at each other's houses, Like they're

0:42:26.800 --> 0:42:30.839
<v Speaker 5>always there or here, like either one. My neighbors are here,

0:42:30.920 --> 0:42:35.480
<v Speaker 5>my parents are over there, and we'll go over there

0:42:35.520 --> 0:42:38.080
<v Speaker 5>and like drink with them sometimes or drink here at

0:42:38.080 --> 0:42:41.400
<v Speaker 5>my house. But over the last year or so, we've

0:42:41.440 --> 0:42:45.680
<v Speaker 5>noticed that they've gotten like almost uncomfortably close with each other.

0:42:49.280 --> 0:42:51.040
<v Speaker 1>What have you been noticing that makes you feel like

0:42:51.080 --> 0:42:53.400
<v Speaker 1>they've been getting uncomfortably close.

0:42:56.440 --> 0:42:58.440
<v Speaker 5>This is going to sound kind of crazy, but me

0:42:58.560 --> 0:43:01.520
<v Speaker 5>and my friends have like a shared Google doc full

0:43:01.560 --> 0:43:09.200
<v Speaker 5>of like quote unquote evidence of them being swingers. So

0:43:10.040 --> 0:43:12.719
<v Speaker 5>just they've just been really like touchy with each other,

0:43:12.880 --> 0:43:17.319
<v Speaker 5>really like suspicious. Like I remember, like a few years ago,

0:43:17.400 --> 0:43:21.920
<v Speaker 5>before I could drink, because I'm twenty one, they would

0:43:22.160 --> 0:43:25.640
<v Speaker 5>like send me away. Like they'd be like, oh, go

0:43:25.680 --> 0:43:27.200
<v Speaker 5>hang out with your friends, or go do this.

0:43:27.080 --> 0:43:27.520
<v Speaker 3>Go do that.

0:43:27.560 --> 0:43:30.479
<v Speaker 5>We're having an adult party at the house. And I'd

0:43:30.480 --> 0:43:33.120
<v Speaker 5>be like, Okay, what the hell's an adult party. I'm eighteen,

0:43:33.520 --> 0:43:37.759
<v Speaker 5>I'm an adult legally at least, but they would have

0:43:37.800 --> 0:43:41.160
<v Speaker 5>these like adult nights. So I'm like, okay, that can I.

0:43:41.160 --> 0:43:43.440
<v Speaker 1>Well, can I actually stop you right there because I

0:43:43.520 --> 0:43:45.759
<v Speaker 1>really wanted to ask you something. So you you and

0:43:45.800 --> 0:43:50.320
<v Speaker 1>your friend have a Google doc of evidence that suggests

0:43:50.400 --> 0:43:53.160
<v Speaker 1>that you this is just that your parents and your

0:43:53.200 --> 0:43:55.640
<v Speaker 1>neighbors are swinging.

0:43:57.280 --> 0:44:03.200
<v Speaker 5>Yes. Why because at first I thought I was crazy.

0:44:05.640 --> 0:44:08.560
<v Speaker 5>I thought I was just imagining things.

0:44:09.000 --> 0:44:13.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I meant, I meant more so, why have you

0:44:13.520 --> 0:44:18.560
<v Speaker 1>gone into such depth to investigate this? Like, let's step

0:44:18.600 --> 0:44:24.520
<v Speaker 1>back back from the investigation itself and step into what

0:44:24.560 --> 0:44:28.000
<v Speaker 1>your interest is in it? So heavily, I mean heavily

0:44:28.239 --> 0:44:30.120
<v Speaker 1>enough for you to make a Google doc.

0:44:32.320 --> 0:44:38.360
<v Speaker 5>It's not so much an interest, it's just like I like,

0:44:38.440 --> 0:44:40.840
<v Speaker 5>I don't want to know if my parents are swinging

0:44:40.880 --> 0:44:43.400
<v Speaker 5>with my neighbors, Like I don't want to go up

0:44:43.400 --> 0:44:44.080
<v Speaker 5>to them and ask them.

0:44:44.080 --> 0:44:47.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, if you don't want, you don't sound like you

0:44:47.239 --> 0:44:47.920
<v Speaker 1>don't want to know.

0:44:49.440 --> 0:44:51.960
<v Speaker 5>It's it's more of the I don't know, like I

0:44:52.040 --> 0:44:54.920
<v Speaker 5>do want to know, because they lied to me on

0:44:55.000 --> 0:44:58.080
<v Speaker 5>multiple occasions about like what they're doing or where they're going.

0:44:59.080 --> 0:45:01.359
<v Speaker 5>So it's more of the fact that I want them

0:45:01.360 --> 0:45:05.120
<v Speaker 5>to tell me the truth rather than continue to lie

0:45:05.160 --> 0:45:07.200
<v Speaker 5>to me. And I don't want to just go up

0:45:07.200 --> 0:45:08.799
<v Speaker 5>to them and be like, are you guys swinging with

0:45:08.840 --> 0:45:11.640
<v Speaker 5>the neighbors, because I feel like that's kind of psychotic,

0:45:11.760 --> 0:45:15.560
<v Speaker 5>but I feel like that might be the best route

0:45:15.600 --> 0:45:19.080
<v Speaker 5>to go. But I like that information is terrifying, Like

0:45:19.120 --> 0:45:20.920
<v Speaker 5>I wouldn't want to know that, but I feel like

0:45:21.480 --> 0:45:23.200
<v Speaker 5>I already kind of do deep down.

0:45:25.120 --> 0:45:30.280
<v Speaker 1>This is really funny to me because you're twenty one, right, Yes,

0:45:30.880 --> 0:45:37.360
<v Speaker 1>when you were sixteen or fifteen or whatever, did you

0:45:37.480 --> 0:45:40.359
<v Speaker 1>have secrets that you kept from your parents?

0:45:42.920 --> 0:45:46.840
<v Speaker 5>Yes? And no, not like this though I was a

0:45:46.880 --> 0:45:48.280
<v Speaker 5>pretty tame child.

0:45:49.000 --> 0:45:51.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well you said yeah, you said yes. What kind

0:45:51.080 --> 0:45:52.399
<v Speaker 1>of secrets did you keep from them?

0:45:54.400 --> 0:45:58.000
<v Speaker 5>The biggest one is probably that I was smoking weed

0:45:58.040 --> 0:46:00.000
<v Speaker 5>with my friends on the weekend. When I would say

0:46:00.000 --> 0:46:02.440
<v Speaker 5>I would go hang out with my ex girlfriend, we

0:46:02.480 --> 0:46:04.000
<v Speaker 5>would just go and smoke weed at the park.

0:46:06.960 --> 0:46:10.600
<v Speaker 1>And do you think that your parents didn't want to

0:46:10.600 --> 0:46:11.480
<v Speaker 1>talk to you about that?

0:46:14.880 --> 0:46:19.400
<v Speaker 5>Probably not, because I feel like they did have like

0:46:19.400 --> 0:46:22.520
<v Speaker 5>the sneaking suspicion because I would come home high sometimes.

0:46:26.719 --> 0:46:30.520
<v Speaker 1>So you have the suspicion that your parents are swinging

0:46:30.520 --> 0:46:32.680
<v Speaker 1>with your neighbors, you don't want to ask them about it.

0:46:33.680 --> 0:46:36.560
<v Speaker 1>I still want to know why are you so interested

0:46:36.600 --> 0:46:36.799
<v Speaker 1>in it?

0:46:39.320 --> 0:46:44.400
<v Speaker 5>I think it's kind of fun to assume, like because

0:46:44.400 --> 0:46:46.120
<v Speaker 5>it's not just me and my friends that think this,

0:46:46.320 --> 0:46:49.000
<v Speaker 5>Like it's my neighbor's older son too, he's like in

0:46:49.000 --> 0:46:51.680
<v Speaker 5>his thirties. Him and his wife think it. Like my

0:46:51.800 --> 0:46:54.920
<v Speaker 5>family even makes comments about like, oh, you guys spend

0:46:55.000 --> 0:46:58.600
<v Speaker 5>so much time with your neighbors, like kind of trying

0:46:58.640 --> 0:47:01.360
<v Speaker 5>to say something but not outright saying it.

0:47:02.040 --> 0:47:05.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I mean I thought it something that is it

0:47:05.640 --> 0:47:06.680
<v Speaker 1>something that upsets you?

0:47:09.800 --> 0:47:12.640
<v Speaker 5>I think at first it did because like IW, but

0:47:12.760 --> 0:47:15.040
<v Speaker 5>now it's kind of just like it upsets me more

0:47:15.080 --> 0:47:18.439
<v Speaker 5>because they're they lie to me about what they're doing,

0:47:18.480 --> 0:47:20.680
<v Speaker 5>or where they're going, or they'll make me lie to

0:47:21.239 --> 0:47:25.680
<v Speaker 5>my neighbor's younger kids or like my sisters. So I

0:47:25.800 --> 0:47:28.080
<v Speaker 5>feel like I'm in on something that I shouldn't be

0:47:28.160 --> 0:47:29.319
<v Speaker 5>in on in a.

0:47:29.280 --> 0:47:33.719
<v Speaker 1>Way, Well, if you feel like you're in on something

0:47:33.719 --> 0:47:36.000
<v Speaker 1>that you shouldn't be in on, I get. I get.

0:47:36.200 --> 0:47:40.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm getting just so much like contradiction from you, where

0:47:40.440 --> 0:47:42.360
<v Speaker 1>you're like, oh, this is gross, I don't want to

0:47:42.400 --> 0:47:45.719
<v Speaker 1>know about it. But I'm also conducting an investigation that includes,

0:47:46.000 --> 0:47:49.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, multiple different files and case studies and whatnot.

0:47:50.120 --> 0:47:52.800
<v Speaker 1>And then I'm upset that I'm involved in the situation,

0:47:52.960 --> 0:47:55.080
<v Speaker 1>but I also want to get even more involved by

0:47:55.440 --> 0:47:56.880
<v Speaker 1>continuing to investigate in it.

0:47:58.800 --> 0:48:02.200
<v Speaker 5>Right, I feel like I've stopped now because it's just

0:48:02.280 --> 0:48:06.160
<v Speaker 5>too much for me to like think about all the time,

0:48:06.239 --> 0:48:10.440
<v Speaker 5>because that for a while it was kind of taking

0:48:10.480 --> 0:48:14.120
<v Speaker 5>over my brain. But now it's just kind of like

0:48:14.200 --> 0:48:16.120
<v Speaker 5>I've come to terms with it. Like if they're swinging,

0:48:16.160 --> 0:48:19.360
<v Speaker 5>that's fine, just don't be so obvious about it.

0:48:19.400 --> 0:48:20.640
<v Speaker 1>I guess.

0:48:22.360 --> 0:48:24.359
<v Speaker 5>Cause they're really, like I said, they're really touchy with

0:48:24.400 --> 0:48:27.719
<v Speaker 5>each other, Like my mom will mess with my neighbor's

0:48:28.040 --> 0:48:31.600
<v Speaker 5>nipples all the time, which is really creepy and gross.

0:48:33.640 --> 0:48:35.960
<v Speaker 1>What's your name? Mars? Mars? I want, I want, I

0:48:35.960 --> 0:48:42.920
<v Speaker 1>really I like you. You're twenty one years old, right,

0:48:42.920 --> 0:48:45.800
<v Speaker 1>You're not sixteen. You're not still living I mean, I

0:48:45.800 --> 0:48:47.359
<v Speaker 1>don't know you're still living on I don't know what

0:48:47.400 --> 0:48:50.560
<v Speaker 1>your living situation is. But you're not a kid anymore.

0:48:51.560 --> 0:48:54.840
<v Speaker 1>You're twenty one. You don't have to be there. You

0:48:54.840 --> 0:48:56.839
<v Speaker 1>don't have to be in the same room as your

0:48:56.840 --> 0:48:59.560
<v Speaker 1>mom and your neighbor with her touch at as nipples.

0:48:59.719 --> 0:49:00.839
<v Speaker 1>You don't have to be there.

0:49:01.680 --> 0:49:05.880
<v Speaker 5>You can be doing I definitely don't. I to I do.

0:49:06.000 --> 0:49:08.120
<v Speaker 5>I try not to hang out with them, so so

0:49:09.239 --> 0:49:09.520
<v Speaker 5>to me.

0:49:09.960 --> 0:49:15.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, for you to be conducting an investigation trying

0:49:15.320 --> 0:49:18.200
<v Speaker 1>to tell your parents what you know they should or

0:49:18.200 --> 0:49:23.200
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't do PDA wise, these are all just like faulty

0:49:24.080 --> 0:49:27.759
<v Speaker 1>ways to approach this situation. I mean, you know, for

0:49:27.800 --> 0:49:29.520
<v Speaker 1>God's sake, you don't have to be there. You could

0:49:29.520 --> 0:49:32.240
<v Speaker 1>be doing literally anything else or going anywhere else. Why

0:49:32.480 --> 0:49:35.160
<v Speaker 1>Why is this something that's that's taking up your time?

0:49:37.560 --> 0:49:42.040
<v Speaker 5>I agree, I definitely agree. I can be doing whatever else.

0:49:42.080 --> 0:49:43.399
<v Speaker 2>But it's.

0:49:44.520 --> 0:49:47.360
<v Speaker 5>Unfortunately my parents are really good at peer pressuring me

0:49:47.640 --> 0:49:50.480
<v Speaker 5>like they're the only people that can, I think, but

0:49:50.640 --> 0:49:53.399
<v Speaker 5>they convince me, like, oh, come over and drink with us,

0:49:53.400 --> 0:49:56.640
<v Speaker 5>like we're we're just sitting around drinking, and I'm like, Okay,

0:49:56.800 --> 0:50:00.040
<v Speaker 5>I don't really want to, but I'll go for a

0:50:00.040 --> 0:50:02.000
<v Speaker 5>little bit and then i'll leave or I'll just say no,

0:50:02.239 --> 0:50:03.680
<v Speaker 5>and then they'll guilt trip me about it.

0:50:03.680 --> 0:50:04.239
<v Speaker 3>So it's like.

0:50:05.719 --> 0:50:10.319
<v Speaker 5>I do have control over the situation for sure, but

0:50:10.360 --> 0:50:12.319
<v Speaker 5>then they guilt trip me and I'm like, oh my god,

0:50:12.440 --> 0:50:15.279
<v Speaker 5>I have to go and watch you be creepy with

0:50:15.320 --> 0:50:18.880
<v Speaker 5>the neighbors for like two hours. That's enough for me.

0:50:20.040 --> 0:50:23.880
<v Speaker 1>You can't next time, your next time your mom asks

0:50:23.920 --> 0:50:26.759
<v Speaker 1>you to come drink with you and the neighbors, you can.

0:50:26.880 --> 0:50:28.640
<v Speaker 1>You can tell you you can be like mom, Look,

0:50:28.760 --> 0:50:32.120
<v Speaker 1>I look mom, I'm an adult. You're an adult. I

0:50:32.160 --> 0:50:34.839
<v Speaker 1>know you're fucking the neighbors. I don't care that you're

0:50:34.840 --> 0:50:36.960
<v Speaker 1>fucking the neighbors. I want you. You're my mom. I

0:50:37.000 --> 0:50:38.879
<v Speaker 1>love you. I want you to go have fun with

0:50:38.960 --> 0:50:41.200
<v Speaker 1>your life because it's your life and you damn should.

0:50:41.600 --> 0:50:44.040
<v Speaker 1>But I don't want to be anywhere involved in that.

0:50:44.680 --> 0:50:47.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to go to my room. Do that just

0:50:47.239 --> 0:50:53.000
<v Speaker 1>some just please, Mars, summon the confidence to do that.

0:50:53.200 --> 0:50:55.560
<v Speaker 1>You can do that. Okay, it's not gonna end your

0:50:55.600 --> 0:50:56.560
<v Speaker 1>world if you say that.

0:50:57.680 --> 0:50:59.680
<v Speaker 5>No, I know, yeah, you're right, You're right.

0:51:00.480 --> 0:51:03.120
<v Speaker 1>I hate all these we all these workarounds of like

0:51:03.640 --> 0:51:06.840
<v Speaker 1>the let's do an investigation, and it's just it's just

0:51:07.040 --> 0:51:10.759
<v Speaker 1>so much avoidance for no reason that I really think

0:51:11.560 --> 0:51:14.239
<v Speaker 1>you should, for lack of a better word, avoid the avoidance.

0:51:16.480 --> 0:51:19.040
<v Speaker 5>Okay, yeah. I feel like my boyfriend has said kind

0:51:19.080 --> 0:51:20.799
<v Speaker 5>of the same thing. He's like, if you care so much,

0:51:20.800 --> 0:51:23.640
<v Speaker 5>why don't you just ask them? And I'm like, yeah,

0:51:23.640 --> 0:51:27.080
<v Speaker 5>it's real, that's that's I feel like, that's just not

0:51:27.160 --> 0:51:31.560
<v Speaker 5>a conversation I'm mentally prepared for. And maybe maybe in

0:51:31.560 --> 0:51:34.480
<v Speaker 5>a few years I could be like, hey, were you

0:51:34.480 --> 0:51:37.520
<v Speaker 5>ever swinging with the neighbors, like as a joke kind

0:51:37.520 --> 0:51:38.320
<v Speaker 5>of to see.

0:51:38.080 --> 0:51:44.080
<v Speaker 1>What they say as why what why? Why? Is a joke? What? Mars, Mars.

0:51:44.120 --> 0:51:48.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry to say this, but grow up a little bit, man.

0:51:47.960 --> 0:51:51.000
<v Speaker 1>You don't you don't have to have the conversation. You

0:51:51.000 --> 0:51:54.120
<v Speaker 1>don't have to have the conversation, but you also don't

0:51:54.120 --> 0:51:56.279
<v Speaker 1>have to keep like diving into it. If you don't,

0:51:56.320 --> 0:51:59.280
<v Speaker 1>you're like you're torturing yourself with these contradictions.

0:52:00.120 --> 0:52:03.319
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I think you're right. I think anything to let

0:52:03.400 --> 0:52:03.640
<v Speaker 5>it go.

0:52:05.120 --> 0:52:06.279
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else you want to say to the

0:52:06.320 --> 0:52:07.480
<v Speaker 1>people of the computer before we go.

0:52:10.160 --> 0:52:13.160
<v Speaker 5>No, I'm super glad I called in. I feel like

0:52:13.800 --> 0:52:18.359
<v Speaker 5>you've put some good perspective on this and I will

0:52:18.400 --> 0:52:19.800
<v Speaker 5>take you up on your advice.

0:52:20.880 --> 0:52:22.480
<v Speaker 1>Beautiful, thank you for calling Mars.

0:52:23.080 --> 0:52:25.080
<v Speaker 4>Thank you man?

0:52:25.120 --> 0:52:29.279
<v Speaker 1>Oh man? Am I jealous of the amazing sex that

0:52:29.480 --> 0:52:35.759
<v Speaker 1>Mars's mom and dad are having with their neighbors. That's

0:52:35.760 --> 0:52:39.440
<v Speaker 1>why I wouldn't want to go personally if they invited me,

0:52:39.960 --> 0:52:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't want to go because I would see Mars's

0:52:42.040 --> 0:52:45.040
<v Speaker 1>mom rubbing her neighbor's nipples, and I would just get

0:52:45.120 --> 0:52:50.960
<v Speaker 1>jealous of how much fun they both look like they're having. Hello, Jack,

0:52:51.719 --> 0:52:52.200
<v Speaker 1>what's up?

0:52:53.760 --> 0:52:56.320
<v Speaker 4>Oh hey man, I'm actually like, I'm actually in the

0:52:56.360 --> 0:52:58.360
<v Speaker 4>middle of a game of fortnine right now. That's actually

0:52:58.400 --> 0:52:58.920
<v Speaker 4>really funny.

0:52:59.560 --> 0:53:02.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, why are you gonna keep.

0:53:04.160 --> 0:53:04.760
<v Speaker 4>Is that? Okay?

0:53:05.520 --> 0:53:08.160
<v Speaker 1>No, that's not okay at all. You should stop playing.

0:53:08.280 --> 0:53:10.480
<v Speaker 4>Then I'm done. It's it's over. It's over.

0:53:10.760 --> 0:53:11.839
<v Speaker 3>Literally, it's up.

0:53:11.760 --> 0:53:12.600
<v Speaker 4>Against two people.

0:53:13.520 --> 0:53:14.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, right about?

0:53:15.400 --> 0:53:18.879
<v Speaker 4>Oh, he's god he's gonna kill me, and I'm gonna hang.

0:53:18.840 --> 0:53:21.000
<v Speaker 1>Up on you. I'm gonna hang up on you right now.

0:53:21.040 --> 0:53:22.760
<v Speaker 1>Are you there? No?

0:53:22.760 --> 0:53:26.440
<v Speaker 4>No, please come here. I'm here, all right.

0:53:27.520 --> 0:53:29.759
<v Speaker 1>I mean, look, I get it. I'm not a video game.

0:53:29.920 --> 0:53:33.880
<v Speaker 1>Video games are engineered to be entertaining and engineered to

0:53:33.880 --> 0:53:36.600
<v Speaker 1>say he can say this, you can tell me anything.

0:53:36.680 --> 0:53:39.440
<v Speaker 4>Can I tell you this? For I have never been

0:53:39.440 --> 0:53:41.840
<v Speaker 4>in the video games in my entire life until like

0:53:41.960 --> 0:53:45.440
<v Speaker 4>the past, like probably the last year. It started with

0:53:45.480 --> 0:53:47.600
<v Speaker 4>Animal Crossing, like a year ago, and then now I've

0:53:47.640 --> 0:53:49.200
<v Speaker 4>kind of died off from that. And then about a

0:53:49.200 --> 0:53:51.960
<v Speaker 4>week ago my fiance found Fortnite, and now it's all

0:53:51.960 --> 0:53:52.440
<v Speaker 4>we can do.

0:53:56.000 --> 0:53:57.719
<v Speaker 1>Why do you feel like it took this long for

0:53:57.800 --> 0:54:01.239
<v Speaker 1>you to get in the video games?

0:54:02.040 --> 0:54:05.440
<v Speaker 4>I had an older brother, Oh I do. I have

0:54:05.480 --> 0:54:08.680
<v Speaker 4>an older brother. He is still a lot. He is

0:54:08.760 --> 0:54:11.640
<v Speaker 4>about a year and a half older than me, and

0:54:11.680 --> 0:54:13.520
<v Speaker 4>so when we were kids, we played the same video

0:54:13.560 --> 0:54:15.879
<v Speaker 4>games and the same stuff, but he would always win

0:54:15.960 --> 0:54:18.880
<v Speaker 4>just because he was slightly older and he was just

0:54:18.880 --> 0:54:21.320
<v Speaker 4>more experienced than just so I just like got turned

0:54:21.320 --> 0:54:24.160
<v Speaker 4>off from video games up until that point. And so,

0:54:24.440 --> 0:54:26.200
<v Speaker 4>but I mean, I think it worked on my favor

0:54:26.280 --> 0:54:29.960
<v Speaker 4>because I'm not very competitive in general. I don't have

0:54:30.040 --> 0:54:33.120
<v Speaker 4>like a very like aggressive competitive spirit. So when I

0:54:33.200 --> 0:54:35.400
<v Speaker 4>lose things, I'm like all right with it.

0:54:36.680 --> 0:54:38.839
<v Speaker 1>No, you don't sound like an aggressive guy at all.

0:54:40.320 --> 0:54:43.759
<v Speaker 4>No, I don't feel like I am. I try not

0:54:43.880 --> 0:54:46.120
<v Speaker 4>to be, and I don't. I mean it comes easy.

0:54:46.360 --> 0:54:51.279
<v Speaker 1>So, so, what's what's going on with you?

0:54:51.360 --> 0:54:51.560
<v Speaker 2>Man?

0:54:52.320 --> 0:54:53.120
<v Speaker 1>If anything?

0:54:53.200 --> 0:54:53.520
<v Speaker 3>Well?

0:54:53.640 --> 0:54:55.719
<v Speaker 4>Uh, what's up?

0:54:56.440 --> 0:54:58.000
<v Speaker 1>I said, if anything in particular?

0:54:59.400 --> 0:54:59.680
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:54:59.719 --> 0:55:02.640
<v Speaker 4>Well, well, I was talking to your call screener. So

0:55:03.000 --> 0:55:07.319
<v Speaker 4>I'm twenty two years old and I have never worn

0:55:07.360 --> 0:55:09.360
<v Speaker 4>my socks the correct way in my entire life.

0:55:09.920 --> 0:55:10.280
<v Speaker 5>Mmm.

0:55:13.360 --> 0:55:15.640
<v Speaker 4>I don't know if that comes as a shock. M.

0:55:16.239 --> 0:55:18.040
<v Speaker 1>You have never worn your socks in a correct way.

0:55:18.120 --> 0:55:23.440
<v Speaker 1>Let me ask you a question, M. What is the

0:55:23.560 --> 0:55:25.680
<v Speaker 1>correct way to wear your socks?

0:55:27.760 --> 0:55:30.840
<v Speaker 4>Uh? I would okay, let me be more specific. I

0:55:30.880 --> 0:55:35.080
<v Speaker 4>have never worn them right side out. I've always worn

0:55:35.120 --> 0:55:36.960
<v Speaker 4>them inside out my entire lives.

0:55:37.400 --> 0:55:45.120
<v Speaker 1>Mmm. Okay, what's your name?

0:55:46.960 --> 0:55:48.120
<v Speaker 4>My name is Gee Buns.

0:55:48.719 --> 0:55:51.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna call you Adam.

0:55:51.360 --> 0:55:54.399
<v Speaker 4>Okay, yeah, that works, Adam.

0:55:54.440 --> 0:55:55.759
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna blow your mind.

0:55:57.360 --> 0:55:57.720
<v Speaker 5>Please.

0:55:59.440 --> 0:56:03.720
<v Speaker 1>There is no correct way to wear your socks. However

0:56:03.760 --> 0:56:09.200
<v Speaker 1>you wear them becomes the correct way.

0:56:09.960 --> 0:56:13.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that makes sense, But what what if it stops

0:56:13.480 --> 0:56:17.960
<v Speaker 4>me from wearing certain socks you know that you know,

0:56:19.800 --> 0:56:22.680
<v Speaker 4>maybe printed in a in a fun way, in a

0:56:22.719 --> 0:56:23.920
<v Speaker 4>crazy way.

0:56:25.000 --> 0:56:28.120
<v Speaker 1>What if it stops you from wearing socks printed? What

0:56:28.120 --> 0:56:29.319
<v Speaker 1>do you what do you mean by that? How can?

0:56:29.520 --> 0:56:33.280
<v Speaker 1>How can? How can anything? A pair of socks?

0:56:37.480 --> 0:56:41.239
<v Speaker 4>You know? What I do sound silly now that you

0:56:41.719 --> 0:56:45.640
<v Speaker 4>put it out loud, I do. That's self realization right

0:56:45.719 --> 0:56:52.160
<v Speaker 4>that I'm feeling it right now, you know.

0:56:52.400 --> 0:56:59.160
<v Speaker 1>Uh. A real story is when I was I, you know,

0:56:59.239 --> 0:57:07.759
<v Speaker 1>I remember growing up, I used to like my mom

0:57:08.520 --> 0:57:11.680
<v Speaker 1>would like take my miss my socks, and she would

0:57:11.680 --> 0:57:15.239
<v Speaker 1>always like I had white socks and blue socks and

0:57:16.920 --> 0:57:22.000
<v Speaker 1>black socks and whatnot, and she would always fold the

0:57:22.000 --> 0:57:24.960
<v Speaker 1>black socks together the white sox together, like she would

0:57:26.200 --> 0:57:32.960
<v Speaker 1>do what you're supposed to do, right, Yeah. And then eventually,

0:57:33.000 --> 0:57:38.840
<v Speaker 1>when I moved out on my own, I was doing

0:57:38.880 --> 0:57:42.400
<v Speaker 1>my laundry and I had a white sock and a

0:57:42.440 --> 0:57:45.360
<v Speaker 1>black sock and I was about to put them together,

0:57:45.400 --> 0:57:47.000
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, white, No, these don't go together.

0:57:47.040 --> 0:57:48.640
<v Speaker 1>And then I realized.

0:57:50.480 --> 0:57:52.440
<v Speaker 4>There's nothing wrong with them being together.

0:57:53.320 --> 0:57:56.480
<v Speaker 1>Wow, wow, And then I just fucking did it and

0:57:56.520 --> 0:57:58.400
<v Speaker 1>I've been living my life like that ever since. You

0:57:58.440 --> 0:58:00.959
<v Speaker 1>know why, because when you're an adult, you get checked.

0:58:00.960 --> 0:58:02.800
<v Speaker 4>It's beautiful. You can whatever your about.

0:58:02.840 --> 0:58:04.800
<v Speaker 1>It's a pick what. You don't give a fuck abound, Yes,

0:58:05.360 --> 0:58:08.520
<v Speaker 1>And I don't give a fuck about if my socks match.

0:58:09.560 --> 0:58:10.760
<v Speaker 1>And so that's how I live.

0:58:12.880 --> 0:58:14.960
<v Speaker 4>No, Yeah, because I mean the whole thing was it

0:58:15.360 --> 0:58:17.240
<v Speaker 4>was like a funny thing when I was a kid.

0:58:17.480 --> 0:58:19.000
<v Speaker 4>I mean, every time I bring it up, people be like,

0:58:19.040 --> 0:58:22.600
<v Speaker 4>ah ha whatever. But then like recently, people would be like,

0:58:22.600 --> 0:58:24.200
<v Speaker 4>why are your socks inside out? And I was like,

0:58:24.240 --> 0:58:26.120
<v Speaker 4>oh no, it's just something I've always done since I.

0:58:26.080 --> 0:58:26.440
<v Speaker 1>Was a kid.

0:58:26.440 --> 0:58:28.680
<v Speaker 4>And They're like, if you've gotten checked. It's like that

0:58:28.760 --> 0:58:31.800
<v Speaker 4>kind of vibe. And so I was just coming to

0:58:31.840 --> 0:58:36.840
<v Speaker 4>you for either validation or you know, a reality check.

0:58:37.920 --> 0:58:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Everything is whatever you decide it is. So if you

0:58:40.760 --> 0:58:43.840
<v Speaker 1>wear your socks inside out, and you decide that that

0:58:43.960 --> 0:58:46.360
<v Speaker 1>is the correct way to wear them, and you are correct.

0:58:49.680 --> 0:58:56.400
<v Speaker 4>M You're totally right there. I don't have a I

0:58:56.440 --> 0:58:57.600
<v Speaker 4>don't have an argument against that.

0:58:59.760 --> 0:59:01.120
<v Speaker 1>Uh, Adam, Is there anything else you want to say

0:59:01.120 --> 0:59:02.280
<v Speaker 1>to the people of the computer before we go?

0:59:05.280 --> 0:59:07.960
<v Speaker 4>Ah? Nothing, just people love.

0:59:08.840 --> 0:59:09.760
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for calling out.

0:59:11.720 --> 0:59:12.000
<v Speaker 4>Thanks.

0:59:14.160 --> 0:59:19.760
<v Speaker 1>It is important to ask why. I'm gonna start doing

0:59:19.760 --> 0:59:23.720
<v Speaker 1>this every time I do anything in life. I'm gonna

0:59:23.760 --> 0:59:27.480
<v Speaker 1>do this tomorrow. Maybe you'll join me. For every single

0:59:27.560 --> 0:59:29.960
<v Speaker 1>thing I do, I'm gonna ask myself why I do

0:59:30.040 --> 0:59:31.919
<v Speaker 1>the thing, and if I don't have a good answer,

0:59:31.920 --> 0:59:38.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna stop doing it. Why do I put on

0:59:38.480 --> 0:59:41.800
<v Speaker 1>socks at all? Well, because it makes me more comfortable

0:59:41.840 --> 0:59:44.040
<v Speaker 1>when I put on my feet when I fucking put

0:59:44.080 --> 0:59:49.560
<v Speaker 1>on my shoes. Good answer. Why do I correct my

0:59:49.720 --> 0:59:55.760
<v Speaker 1>socks from being inside out to how they quote normally

0:59:55.760 --> 1:00:01.080
<v Speaker 1>are supposed to be, well because that's how society says

1:00:01.120 --> 1:00:06.320
<v Speaker 1>they should be worn. Bad answer. I am society and

1:00:06.520 --> 1:00:08.680
<v Speaker 1>I declare society's rules.

1:00:09.560 --> 1:00:13.000
<v Speaker 3>Jeremy Kad goes on the line taking your phone calls

1:00:13.080 --> 1:00:13.680
<v Speaker 3>every night.

1:00:14.040 --> 1:00:17.120
<v Speaker 4>De Repcon goes doing his ride. He's teaching you cloud

1:00:17.160 --> 1:00:19.800
<v Speaker 4>in the mid of your life, but he's not really

1:00:19.960 --> 1:00:21.520
<v Speaker 4>an expert.