1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:22,275 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. If 2 00:00:22,275 --> 00:00:25,715 Speaker 1: it had not already become clear how scared Fox is 3 00:00:25,915 --> 00:00:29,355 Speaker 1: of the Dominion defamation case, it became so last night, 4 00:00:29,835 --> 00:00:33,235 Speaker 1: as Day one of the trial was postponed from today 5 00:00:33,355 --> 00:00:36,355 Speaker 1: to tomorrow amid a one line rumor of a late 6 00:00:36,435 --> 00:00:38,995 Speaker 1: push by Fox to settle the thing, per the Wall 7 00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:42,995 Speaker 1: Street Journal, which is after all co owned with Fox 8 00:00:43,195 --> 00:00:46,875 Speaker 1: by Rupert Murdoch. There was also another tea leaf to 9 00:00:46,915 --> 00:00:50,635 Speaker 1: read to suggest this settlement talk is serious. The infamous 10 00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:55,275 Speaker 1: falsetto voice of Mark Levin had promised attacks on Dominion 11 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,035 Speaker 1: and on the judge in the case, Eric Davis. On 12 00:00:58,155 --> 00:01:01,595 Speaker 1: his Fox show last night, Levin did not say a 13 00:01:01,635 --> 00:01:06,475 Speaker 1: word about either of them. Now now, I'm like everybody else here, 14 00:01:06,595 --> 00:01:09,395 Speaker 1: everybody else who has ever worked for Rupert Murdoch and 15 00:01:09,515 --> 00:01:12,155 Speaker 1: dated Laura Ingram and was asked to co host to 16 00:01:12,195 --> 00:01:15,355 Speaker 1: show on MSNBC with Tucker Carlson. I want to see 17 00:01:15,355 --> 00:01:23,995 Speaker 1: them on the stand under oath, weeping, weeping as their dishonest, unscrupulous, amoral, degraded, jaded, corrupt, 18 00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:27,155 Speaker 1: vile quotes are read back to them and a Dominion 19 00:01:27,235 --> 00:01:29,595 Speaker 1: lawyer holds up a big photo of the fired Lou 20 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:36,915 Speaker 1: Dobbs and says, perhaps this will refresh your memory. Okay, 21 00:01:36,955 --> 00:01:40,555 Speaker 1: perhaps that's all a little specific to me. But America 22 00:01:40,595 --> 00:01:44,715 Speaker 1: could use five weeks of live coverage of Dominion versus 23 00:01:44,755 --> 00:01:50,755 Speaker 1: Fox Bullshit on trial, carried live on every other cable 24 00:01:50,795 --> 00:01:55,155 Speaker 1: network and every other streaming service, complete with primetime recaps, 25 00:01:55,955 --> 00:01:59,715 Speaker 1: hyperbole and revenge aside, though it would be an absolutely 26 00:01:59,835 --> 00:02:02,915 Speaker 1: cathartic experience for this country to have it on the 27 00:02:02,955 --> 00:02:06,715 Speaker 1: record and for all time, that Fox is not a 28 00:02:06,755 --> 00:02:10,595 Speaker 1: news organization, has never been a news organization, has no 29 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:14,995 Speaker 1: journalistic standing, adheres to no ethics, and is programmed not 30 00:02:15,075 --> 00:02:18,515 Speaker 1: as any kind of reflection of reality, but merely as 31 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,555 Speaker 1: the writers of the classic soap operas of the twentieth 32 00:02:21,555 --> 00:02:24,475 Speaker 1: century or the reality TV shows of the twenty first 33 00:02:24,515 --> 00:02:28,795 Speaker 1: century sketched out their plotlines to grab an audience and 34 00:02:29,035 --> 00:02:33,395 Speaker 1: hold it hostage with anything, any lie, any distortion, any 35 00:02:33,435 --> 00:02:38,155 Speaker 1: defamation necessary to retain one more viewer for one more second, 36 00:02:38,435 --> 00:02:41,915 Speaker 1: and to retain one more rupert Burdock dollar for one 37 00:02:41,955 --> 00:02:46,555 Speaker 1: more day. The problem is such a trial would make 38 00:02:46,635 --> 00:02:49,595 Speaker 1: little or no difference to the people who most desperately 39 00:02:49,675 --> 00:02:55,315 Speaker 1: need to process its testimony and learn something. The lunatic fringe, 40 00:02:55,355 --> 00:02:58,035 Speaker 1: for whom Fox has been the equivalent of the addictive 41 00:02:58,155 --> 00:03:03,355 Speaker 1: cola Slurm on Futurama, now has a bewildering choice of 42 00:03:03,395 --> 00:03:09,275 Speaker 1: different flavors and strengths of Slurm, Newsmax, One America News, 43 00:03:09,515 --> 00:03:14,195 Speaker 1: Real America's Voice, one Real America's Newsmax Voice, et cetera. 44 00:03:15,115 --> 00:03:17,755 Speaker 1: And if Fox is no longer a strong enough kick 45 00:03:17,795 --> 00:03:21,115 Speaker 1: for the fascist addicts, the others are happy to offer 46 00:03:21,195 --> 00:03:25,075 Speaker 1: a more potent and more addictive recipe. There are a 47 00:03:25,195 --> 00:03:28,635 Speaker 1: thousand places now for Fox viewers to go to hide 48 00:03:28,635 --> 00:03:32,035 Speaker 1: from reality, to be reassured that the lawsuit is just 49 00:03:32,115 --> 00:03:35,875 Speaker 1: the Deep States attempt to punish that happy guy Tucker 50 00:03:35,955 --> 00:03:39,675 Speaker 1: Carlson because he dared to show those exclusive January sixth 51 00:03:39,795 --> 00:03:44,395 Speaker 1: videos that showed nothing but their Facebook friends said showed everything. 52 00:03:44,635 --> 00:03:48,715 Speaker 1: And who you're gonna believe, Real American Maga, Patriot one, two, 53 00:03:48,755 --> 00:03:54,435 Speaker 1: three four, or your lying eyes. This is not to 54 00:03:54,595 --> 00:03:57,275 Speaker 1: argue that dominion should settle, not by a long shot. 55 00:03:57,435 --> 00:04:00,435 Speaker 1: In point of fact, Fox can lose this case and 56 00:04:00,555 --> 00:04:05,075 Speaker 1: lose big, and probably still survive relatively unscathed, even if 57 00:04:05,075 --> 00:04:08,435 Speaker 1: it somehow had to fire Carlson and Hannity and Ingram 58 00:04:08,475 --> 00:04:11,875 Speaker 1: as part of the deal. Carlson and Ingram were also 59 00:04:12,035 --> 00:04:15,635 Speaker 1: rans fill ins Weekend, people who everybody knew could never 60 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,915 Speaker 1: carry Bill O'Reilly's water. And yet here we are in 61 00:04:18,955 --> 00:04:21,035 Speaker 1: a time when you often have to explain to Fox 62 00:04:21,115 --> 00:04:26,195 Speaker 1: viewers who Bill O'Reilly was. Fox could even use a 63 00:04:26,195 --> 00:04:28,435 Speaker 1: defeat at the hands of Dominion in court as an 64 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,995 Speaker 1: excuse to cost cut. They are paying a lot of 65 00:04:31,035 --> 00:04:34,515 Speaker 1: cash to the primetime lineup, which is somewhat damaged after 66 00:04:34,555 --> 00:04:38,155 Speaker 1: all this already, and they could dirty up their reputations 67 00:04:38,155 --> 00:04:40,275 Speaker 1: on the way out the way they try to dirty 68 00:04:40,355 --> 00:04:43,315 Speaker 1: up everybody who ever leaves Fox and virtually dare the 69 00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:46,555 Speaker 1: Newsmaxes of this world to hire Carlson and Hannity and 70 00:04:46,675 --> 00:04:50,355 Speaker 1: Ingram while they poach the Newsmax stars or promote the 71 00:04:50,555 --> 00:04:54,715 Speaker 1: Pete Hegseth's and Dan Bongino's and Jesse Waters of this 72 00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:59,195 Speaker 1: Fox world to the front row for nominal raises. In 73 00:04:59,275 --> 00:05:03,035 Speaker 1: point of fact, the only fatal damaged Dominion and after 74 00:05:03,075 --> 00:05:06,195 Speaker 1: it Smart Mattock could do Fox would be to go 75 00:05:06,275 --> 00:05:10,315 Speaker 1: to trial, not settle and win and have the jury 76 00:05:10,315 --> 00:05:13,515 Speaker 1: come back and say a billion six for Dominion two 77 00:05:13,555 --> 00:05:16,955 Speaker 1: point seven billion for Smart Mattic. That's not enough. Let's 78 00:05:16,955 --> 00:05:21,355 Speaker 1: make it five billion each, and then Smartmatic and Dominion 79 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,355 Speaker 1: would have to hope that the verdicts and the punishments 80 00:05:23,395 --> 00:05:27,755 Speaker 1: would hold up on appeal. That is just as important 81 00:05:27,755 --> 00:05:30,755 Speaker 1: a reason for Dominion to not settle with Fox as 82 00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:33,155 Speaker 1: is the prospect of an actual trial for the rest 83 00:05:33,155 --> 00:05:36,515 Speaker 1: of us. If Fox settles, it will not pay that 84 00:05:36,635 --> 00:05:38,795 Speaker 1: much money. It will not settle for enough money to 85 00:05:38,835 --> 00:05:43,155 Speaker 1: put itself out of business. And beyond that, Fox was 86 00:05:43,275 --> 00:05:48,195 Speaker 1: so worried that its attorney, Blake Roerbacher, had actually apologized 87 00:05:48,235 --> 00:05:51,075 Speaker 1: over the weekend to the judge Eric Davis for misleading 88 00:05:51,195 --> 00:05:54,395 Speaker 1: him and misleading the plaintiff by hiding the fact that 89 00:05:54,475 --> 00:05:58,675 Speaker 1: Rupert Murdoch actually has a title job inside Fox quote 90 00:05:58,715 --> 00:06:06,115 Speaker 1: news unquote. We understand the apology, read the Court's concerns, apologize, 91 00:06:06,395 --> 00:06:09,035 Speaker 1: and are committed to clear and full communication with the 92 00:06:09,075 --> 00:06:13,715 Speaker 1: court moving forward. I have been fighting Fox since nineteen 93 00:06:13,835 --> 00:06:17,715 Speaker 1: ninety seven and I have not once previously heard them 94 00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:23,955 Speaker 1: use on the record out loud the word apologize. That's 95 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:28,715 Speaker 1: how worried they are about this case. The problem, though, 96 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:32,195 Speaker 1: being that Murdoch's general counsel, a man named Viet Dinn, 97 00:06:32,715 --> 00:06:34,955 Speaker 1: not only thinks this case will eventually land at the 98 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,955 Speaker 1: Supreme Court, but, quoting The New York Times, mister Dinn 99 00:06:37,995 --> 00:06:42,475 Speaker 1: has told colleagues privately that he believes Fox's odds at 100 00:06:42,555 --> 00:06:47,275 Speaker 1: the Supreme Court would be good unquote. I wonder why 101 00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:52,155 Speaker 1: he thinks that, all right, Harlan Crow and Clarence Thomas, ah, 102 00:06:59,035 --> 00:07:02,715 Speaker 1: and on top of everything else. Now, it turns out, 103 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:08,435 Speaker 1: even when Clarence Thomas does disclose it, he's still lying. 104 00:07:09,475 --> 00:07:12,715 Speaker 1: The Washington Post reporting that the corrupt Supreme Court justice 105 00:07:12,715 --> 00:07:16,075 Speaker 1: has for fifteen years claimed that his family has been 106 00:07:16,115 --> 00:07:19,515 Speaker 1: getting income between two hundred and seventy thousand and three 107 00:07:19,595 --> 00:07:22,835 Speaker 1: quarters of a million dollars in total from a company 108 00:07:22,915 --> 00:07:27,875 Speaker 1: called Ginger Limited Partnership. The problem is the company has 109 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:31,075 Speaker 1: not existed since the year two thousand and six. It 110 00:07:31,395 --> 00:07:34,635 Speaker 1: was a real estate firm in Nebraska opened by his 111 00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:39,155 Speaker 1: ex cult member wife and her family. And whether corruption 112 00:07:39,355 --> 00:07:42,795 Speaker 1: or mere sloppiness, Clarence Thomas has been so unconcerned with, 113 00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:48,155 Speaker 1: so disrespectful of this minimal, easy lip service level of 114 00:07:48,195 --> 00:07:51,395 Speaker 1: financial disclosure for a Supreme Court justice that he has 115 00:07:51,435 --> 00:07:55,235 Speaker 1: not bothered to get it right for fifteen consecutive financial 116 00:07:55,275 --> 00:08:00,075 Speaker 1: disclosure filings. The post points out this particular inaccuracy could 117 00:08:00,075 --> 00:08:04,355 Speaker 1: be a superficial and meaningless clerical error, but unfortunately it 118 00:08:04,475 --> 00:08:09,195 Speaker 1: now fits into an extraordinary pattern. Caught in twenty eleven, 119 00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:12,755 Speaker 1: leaving out his ex cult member's wife six hundred and 120 00:08:12,835 --> 00:08:16,115 Speaker 1: eighty six thousand dollars in income from the Heritage Foundation 121 00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:19,835 Speaker 1: that was supposed to be put in, thus being forced 122 00:08:19,835 --> 00:08:23,435 Speaker 1: by the group Common Cause to resubmit years of financial disclosures. 123 00:08:23,635 --> 00:08:28,995 Speaker 1: Clarence Thomas didn't disclose it. Caught checking the box for 124 00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:35,555 Speaker 1: her income marked none. Clarence Thomas didn't disclose it. Caught 125 00:08:35,595 --> 00:08:38,155 Speaker 1: again nine years later, leaving out the money he got 126 00:08:38,195 --> 00:08:41,595 Speaker 1: his reimbursements for traveling expenses to teach at the University 127 00:08:41,595 --> 00:08:44,075 Speaker 1: of Kansas, the University of Georgia, the law school at 128 00:08:44,075 --> 00:08:49,715 Speaker 1: Creighton University. Clarence Thomas didn't disclose it. Caught selling his 129 00:08:49,835 --> 00:08:54,155 Speaker 1: mother's home to a Nazi fanboy, billionaire funder of conservative 130 00:08:54,195 --> 00:08:57,715 Speaker 1: legal groups, constantly putting filings before the court on which 131 00:08:57,715 --> 00:09:03,515 Speaker 1: he sits. Clarence Thomas didn't disclose it. Caught claiming he 132 00:09:03,595 --> 00:09:07,155 Speaker 1: still owned part of his mother's home. Rather than acknowledging 133 00:09:07,195 --> 00:09:09,715 Speaker 1: he had sold it the year before while she still 134 00:09:09,755 --> 00:09:16,155 Speaker 1: lived there. Clarence Thomas didn't disclose it. Caught taking literally 135 00:09:16,275 --> 00:09:19,475 Speaker 1: millions of dollars in travel and gift and god knows 136 00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:23,395 Speaker 1: what else from the same Nazi fanboy billionaire activist Clarence 137 00:09:23,395 --> 00:09:29,795 Speaker 1: Thomas didn't disclose it, and may be worse, Clarence Thomas 138 00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:32,155 Speaker 1: issued a statement that colleagues told him he did not 139 00:09:32,355 --> 00:09:37,235 Speaker 1: need to report those vacations and other gifts which colleagues 140 00:09:38,195 --> 00:09:43,435 Speaker 1: Clarence Thomas did not disclose that either. Clarence Thomas is 141 00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:48,315 Speaker 1: a crook, and the Biden administration and the Democrats in 142 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:52,275 Speaker 1: the Senate are letting Clarence Thomas get away with being 143 00:09:52,315 --> 00:09:56,675 Speaker 1: a crook. At some point this ceases to be exclusively 144 00:09:56,715 --> 00:10:01,195 Speaker 1: Clarence Thomas's fault. He is as corrupt and without morals 145 00:10:01,315 --> 00:10:04,915 Speaker 1: or conscience as anybody in this country. And one of 146 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,795 Speaker 1: the great lessons of life is that people who act 147 00:10:07,835 --> 00:10:10,315 Speaker 1: that way tend to act that way time and time 148 00:10:10,355 --> 00:10:12,995 Speaker 1: again after they have realized they are going to get 149 00:10:13,035 --> 00:10:16,515 Speaker 1: away with it. It is the Democrats in the Senate, 150 00:10:16,835 --> 00:10:20,315 Speaker 1: the Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee led by its chairman, 151 00:10:20,395 --> 00:10:23,395 Speaker 1: Senator Richard Durbin of Illinois, who are sitting on their 152 00:10:23,435 --> 00:10:28,035 Speaker 1: hands while Clarence Thomas gets busy being a crook. It 153 00:10:28,155 --> 00:10:31,555 Speaker 1: is now eleven days since Pro Publica broke the most 154 00:10:31,595 --> 00:10:34,795 Speaker 1: massive financial scandal in the history of our Supreme Court, 155 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:38,635 Speaker 1: the entire Harlan Crow luxury yachts and private jets, and 156 00:10:38,675 --> 00:10:42,795 Speaker 1: an eighteen hundred pounds statue of Clarence's favorite teacher story. 157 00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:45,475 Speaker 1: And all we have gotten out of Dick Durban is 158 00:10:45,515 --> 00:10:48,395 Speaker 1: a couple of statements and a couple of tweets, and 159 00:10:48,435 --> 00:10:52,355 Speaker 1: some not very pointed, hell not at all pointed warnings 160 00:10:52,355 --> 00:10:55,875 Speaker 1: to Chief Justice Roberts to clean up his house. As 161 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,635 Speaker 1: if John Roberts had the guts to bring in a 162 00:10:57,675 --> 00:11:02,315 Speaker 1: packet of handywipes to the cesspool that is his Supreme Court. 163 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:07,915 Speaker 1: You may now be saying, wait. Durbin and the Senate 164 00:11:07,995 --> 00:11:11,795 Speaker 1: Judiciary Committee sent the Court a letter saying the committee 165 00:11:11,795 --> 00:11:15,195 Speaker 1: would be conducting an investigation into Harlan Crowe's bribe gifts 166 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,875 Speaker 1: and his gift bribes to Clarence Thomas. Oh no, he didn't. 167 00:11:20,235 --> 00:11:24,475 Speaker 1: Durbin said Roberts should conduct such an investigation. All Durban 168 00:11:24,555 --> 00:11:28,915 Speaker 1: promised to do was hold a hearing into quote restoring 169 00:11:29,115 --> 00:11:34,475 Speaker 1: confidence in Scotis ethical standards. And if you think John 170 00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:37,755 Speaker 1: Roberts or Clarence Thomas, or anybody who merely knows John 171 00:11:37,835 --> 00:11:40,515 Speaker 1: Roberts or Clarence Thomas is going to testify at that hearing, 172 00:11:40,555 --> 00:11:45,595 Speaker 1: you're crazy. You're likelier to get John Turley. Durbin phrased 173 00:11:45,635 --> 00:11:47,395 Speaker 1: it that way to make it sound like he is 174 00:11:47,435 --> 00:11:49,795 Speaker 1: doing something, when in fact he's doing nothing, and he 175 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:53,555 Speaker 1: will do nothing unless we light his chair metaphorically on fire. 176 00:11:54,795 --> 00:11:58,835 Speaker 1: Dick Durbin needs to subpoena Clarence Thomas, get his sorry 177 00:11:58,915 --> 00:12:02,075 Speaker 1: corrupt ass in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee and 178 00:12:02,115 --> 00:12:04,955 Speaker 1: every camera in this nation and go over these gifts 179 00:12:05,075 --> 00:12:07,275 Speaker 1: line by line, and year by year and dollar by 180 00:12:07,355 --> 00:12:11,195 Speaker 1: daughter and break him. And you're damned, write the Senate 181 00:12:11,195 --> 00:12:14,435 Speaker 1: because subpoena a sitting Supreme Court justice. As the editor 182 00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:17,915 Speaker 1: of the New Republic Michael Tomaski noted, in nineteen fifty three, 183 00:12:17,955 --> 00:12:21,435 Speaker 1: a House committee issued a subpoena to Justice tom Clark, 184 00:12:21,835 --> 00:12:24,275 Speaker 1: and it managed to do so for a lot flimsier 185 00:12:24,315 --> 00:12:27,955 Speaker 1: reasons than Durbin has to issue one now for this giant, 186 00:12:27,995 --> 00:12:31,675 Speaker 1: one hundred piece brass band of corruption on parade called 187 00:12:31,675 --> 00:12:35,955 Speaker 1: Clarence Thomas. Even Justice Tom Clark was willing to answer 188 00:12:35,995 --> 00:12:39,875 Speaker 1: Committee questions in writing, and today even legal experts at 189 00:12:39,915 --> 00:12:43,995 Speaker 1: places like the Cato Institute believe judges at all levels 190 00:12:44,235 --> 00:12:47,835 Speaker 1: could be compelled to testify to the House or the 191 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:55,115 Speaker 1: Senate compel him to testify, and before or after Durbin acts, 192 00:12:55,115 --> 00:12:58,275 Speaker 1: the Department of Justice needs to pursue indictments against Clarence 193 00:12:58,275 --> 00:13:02,595 Speaker 1: Thomas and Harlan Crow loudly and publicly. It is unclear 194 00:13:02,675 --> 00:13:06,355 Speaker 1: whether the DOJ can actually indict a sitting Supreme Court justice, 195 00:13:06,555 --> 00:13:09,515 Speaker 1: but it is clear that when Richard Nixon wanted to 196 00:13:09,515 --> 00:13:12,435 Speaker 1: force Justice Abe Fortis off the Supreme Court in nineteen 197 00:13:12,475 --> 00:13:17,355 Speaker 1: sixty nine, his henchmen, the Assistant Attorney General William Rehnquist, 198 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:21,475 Speaker 1: found a possible precedent. As my friend John Deane wrote 199 00:13:21,475 --> 00:13:24,875 Speaker 1: in his book The Rehnquist Choice Quote, in seventeen ninety, 200 00:13:24,915 --> 00:13:27,955 Speaker 1: the First Congress, which included among its members James Madison 201 00:13:28,115 --> 00:13:31,395 Speaker 1: and other drafters of the Constitution, had passed a law 202 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:36,275 Speaker 1: making it possible to prosecute federal judges for bribery. In addition, 203 00:13:36,435 --> 00:13:40,315 Speaker 1: Rehnquist found that six years later, seventeen ninety six, the 204 00:13:40,355 --> 00:13:43,395 Speaker 1: third Attorney General of the United States had quote held 205 00:13:43,435 --> 00:13:46,315 Speaker 1: that a judge could be called to account for unlawful 206 00:13:46,355 --> 00:13:51,955 Speaker 1: behavior by criminal indictment as well as by impeachment unquote 207 00:13:53,755 --> 00:13:56,675 Speaker 1: on May one, nineteen sixty nine, even though it was 208 00:13:56,715 --> 00:14:00,155 Speaker 1: hardly certain that what he had found was a precedent 209 00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:03,755 Speaker 1: about prosecuting judges and justices while they were still sitting 210 00:14:04,235 --> 00:14:06,915 Speaker 1: as a after they had been impeached and removed from 211 00:14:06,955 --> 00:14:10,435 Speaker 1: the bench, Rehnquist sent a memo to his boss, John Mitchell, 212 00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:13,835 Speaker 1: saying that this precedent was enough to threaten Fortis with 213 00:14:13,955 --> 00:14:17,475 Speaker 1: prosecution for taking twenty thousand dollars from a financier for 214 00:14:17,555 --> 00:14:24,035 Speaker 1: quote advice unquote his choice prosecution or resignation. Two weeks later, 215 00:14:24,715 --> 00:14:27,955 Speaker 1: Fordist chose resignation. That, by the way, was the last 216 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,755 Speaker 1: day the court was made up of a majority of 217 00:14:29,915 --> 00:14:33,275 Speaker 1: justices appointed by Democratic presidents, and oh, by the way, 218 00:14:33,315 --> 00:14:36,955 Speaker 1: two years later, Nixon named William Rehnquist to the Supreme Court. 219 00:14:38,395 --> 00:14:41,595 Speaker 1: Twenty five years after that, Rehnquist was so nuts that 220 00:14:41,635 --> 00:14:44,595 Speaker 1: he added four gold stripes to his chief Justice's robes 221 00:14:44,875 --> 00:14:49,235 Speaker 1: because he'd seen them once in a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta. 222 00:14:50,035 --> 00:14:53,435 Speaker 1: Back to our current nut job, Clarence Thomas. This is 223 00:14:53,555 --> 00:14:57,155 Speaker 1: more than just appearances, more than Gilbert and Sullivan's stripes 224 00:14:57,195 --> 00:15:00,475 Speaker 1: on his robes. Since the story broke two weeks ago, 225 00:15:00,555 --> 00:15:04,075 Speaker 1: this coming Thursday, this Hitler collector, hate him, love his 226 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:08,635 Speaker 1: landscape apes. Harlan Crowe has been almost universally described as 227 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:12,035 Speaker 1: a Republican mega donor. It was Senator Chris Murphy of 228 00:15:12,075 --> 00:15:14,755 Speaker 1: Connecticut who pointed out that an article by Think Progress, 229 00:15:14,755 --> 00:15:19,155 Speaker 1: an article from twenty eleven, underscored that just one of 230 00:15:19,235 --> 00:15:22,795 Speaker 1: the many legal groups that Harlan Crowe finances, the Center 231 00:15:22,915 --> 00:15:28,195 Speaker 1: for Community Interest, had filed eight briefs to the Supreme Court. 232 00:15:28,715 --> 00:15:33,075 Speaker 1: Thomas voted on all eight cases and all eight times, 233 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:37,275 Speaker 1: just as Thomas took the side advocated by Harlan Crowe's 234 00:15:37,475 --> 00:15:43,475 Speaker 1: Center for Community Interest. It is blank naked financial corruption. 235 00:15:43,995 --> 00:15:47,435 Speaker 1: It has to stop, and Clarence Thomas has to go. 236 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:52,275 Speaker 1: And yes, by the way, Senator Chris Murphy is not 237 00:15:52,635 --> 00:15:58,315 Speaker 1: on the Senate Judiciary Committee. Senator Dianne Feinstein, She's on 238 00:15:58,355 --> 00:16:06,035 Speaker 1: the Senate Judiciary Committee. By the way, the Senate Judiciary 239 00:16:06,075 --> 00:16:08,515 Speaker 1: Committee has another judge it needs to subpoena and the 240 00:16:08,555 --> 00:16:11,675 Speaker 1: Department of Justice has another judge it needs to criminally investigate. 241 00:16:11,755 --> 00:16:14,835 Speaker 1: And his name is Matthew Kasmeric, and it's pretty clear 242 00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:17,395 Speaker 1: he lied to the Senate at his confirmation hearing. And 243 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:20,795 Speaker 1: that is especially important today because it is this Sleezebag 244 00:16:20,915 --> 00:16:26,555 Speaker 1: Matthew Kasmeric who ruled against the abortion pill. Early in 245 00:16:26,595 --> 00:16:29,955 Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, when he was still just a Sleezebag lawyer 246 00:16:30,035 --> 00:16:34,635 Speaker 1: for a Sleezebag conservative group, Matthew Kasmeric submitted an article 247 00:16:34,675 --> 00:16:38,275 Speaker 1: to a Sleezebag publication he had led while he was 248 00:16:38,315 --> 00:16:41,995 Speaker 1: still a student, the Texas Review of Law and Politics, 249 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,515 Speaker 1: and it criticized protections for those who needed abortions and 250 00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:50,795 Speaker 1: protections for transgender people. Chasmeric, it was his name on 251 00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:54,835 Speaker 1: the article argued that the Obama administration had ridden roughshod 252 00:16:54,955 --> 00:16:59,595 Speaker 1: over quote religious physicians who cannot use their scalpels to 253 00:16:59,595 --> 00:17:03,675 Speaker 1: make female what God created male, cannot use their pens 254 00:17:03,715 --> 00:17:07,435 Speaker 1: to prescribe or dispense of border fashion drugs designed to 255 00:17:07,515 --> 00:17:13,955 Speaker 1: kill unborn children. Yes, it's caveman lawyer come to life. 256 00:17:13,955 --> 00:17:17,235 Speaker 1: But it is not itself a crime, except that when 257 00:17:17,315 --> 00:17:20,435 Speaker 1: Kasmaric was nominated for a district judgeship by Trump in 258 00:17:20,475 --> 00:17:24,595 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. Kasmeric was required to list that article and 259 00:17:24,755 --> 00:17:27,875 Speaker 1: all of his published work on a questionnaire required by 260 00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:31,315 Speaker 1: the Senate Judiciary Committee, and he left that one off 261 00:17:31,515 --> 00:17:35,115 Speaker 1: for some reason. He left it off because as it 262 00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:38,475 Speaker 1: was being ready for publication, he suddenly told the editors 263 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:41,875 Speaker 1: to take his name off it and put others' names 264 00:17:41,915 --> 00:17:46,555 Speaker 1: on it. In short, Matthew Kasmerck, who just ruled that 265 00:17:46,595 --> 00:17:50,235 Speaker 1: the FDA's drug tests of two decades ago were dangerous 266 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:53,075 Speaker 1: and wrong, even though they have since proved for two 267 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:57,355 Speaker 1: decades neither dangerous nor wrong, perjured himself to the Senate, 268 00:17:57,915 --> 00:18:00,675 Speaker 1: should be impeached and removed from the bench, and should 269 00:18:00,755 --> 00:18:05,355 Speaker 1: go to prison. And once again we need Dick Durbin 270 00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:09,155 Speaker 1: to step up here. I understand he's composing the tweet 271 00:18:09,195 --> 00:18:25,475 Speaker 1: as we speak, still ahead of this initiative countdown. Well, 272 00:18:25,475 --> 00:18:28,155 Speaker 1: here it is. Finally a Democratic House candidate is going 273 00:18:28,195 --> 00:18:32,355 Speaker 1: to use the stench of his opponent's association with Marjorie 274 00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:37,435 Speaker 1: Barney Rubbell Green as a campaign issue in a congressional 275 00:18:37,515 --> 00:18:41,955 Speaker 1: race one eight hundred and forty five miles away from 276 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:46,155 Speaker 1: Marjorie Barney Rubel Green. Speaking of campaigns, Nikki Haley's bid 277 00:18:46,235 --> 00:18:49,995 Speaker 1: for president has raised eleven million dollars. Oh sorry, they 278 00:18:50,035 --> 00:18:53,635 Speaker 1: added wrong, make it eight million dollars. And suddenly she 279 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:58,355 Speaker 1: looks like a dope, which, by the way, she is. 280 00:18:58,355 --> 00:19:01,035 Speaker 1: Is that a possum in your baseball television booth? Or 281 00:19:01,075 --> 00:19:03,875 Speaker 1: are you just glad to see me? And the kind 282 00:19:03,915 --> 00:19:06,835 Speaker 1: of practical advice you are just not going to get 283 00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:09,995 Speaker 1: from any other podcast. What to do, whether it is 284 00:19:10,075 --> 00:19:12,555 Speaker 1: at the World Series or at a little league game 285 00:19:12,675 --> 00:19:15,875 Speaker 1: down the street from you. What to do if you 286 00:19:15,915 --> 00:19:19,515 Speaker 1: are asked to throw out a ceremonial first pitch at 287 00:19:19,515 --> 00:19:22,475 Speaker 1: a baseball game and you want it to go well, 288 00:19:23,035 --> 00:19:26,555 Speaker 1: Believe it or not, there is a secret life pack here. 289 00:19:27,195 --> 00:19:35,635 Speaker 1: That's next. This is countdown. You know. This is countdown 290 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,715 Speaker 1: with you know Keith Olberman. 291 00:19:50,115 --> 00:19:56,515 Speaker 2: This is Sports Senate. Wait, check that not anymore. This 292 00:19:57,355 --> 00:20:01,035 Speaker 2: is countdown with Keith Olberman. 293 00:20:01,275 --> 00:20:04,955 Speaker 1: In sports. From nineteen fifty three through nineteen eighty two, 294 00:20:05,235 --> 00:20:08,875 Speaker 1: Jim Woods broadcast Major League Baseball games for the Pirates 295 00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:11,435 Speaker 1: or the Yankees, the Red Sox, the Giants, the Cardinals. 296 00:20:11,435 --> 00:20:13,715 Speaker 1: He was so good at it for so long that 297 00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:16,995 Speaker 1: he lasted from the time when the Big broadcast was 298 00:20:17,035 --> 00:20:20,195 Speaker 1: a network radio Game of the Day, to the time 299 00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:22,955 Speaker 1: when he was the play by play man on cable 300 00:20:23,395 --> 00:20:26,035 Speaker 1: on the USA Network Thursday Game of the Week. And 301 00:20:26,115 --> 00:20:28,435 Speaker 1: in nineteen seventy two and nineteen seventy three Jim Woods 302 00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,715 Speaker 1: did the games of the Oakland A's. The team won 303 00:20:30,715 --> 00:20:33,315 Speaker 1: the World Series both seasons, playing in the Oakland Coliseum, 304 00:20:33,635 --> 00:20:36,315 Speaker 1: and I mention all this. I mentioned the great Jim 305 00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:39,915 Speaker 1: Woods because he was known by and almost exclusively addressed 306 00:20:39,955 --> 00:20:46,115 Speaker 1: by a nickname poss It was short for possum, originally 307 00:20:46,115 --> 00:20:50,955 Speaker 1: referring to his haircut. And last Friday, baseball fans nationwide 308 00:20:50,995 --> 00:20:53,355 Speaker 1: discovered that in the same press box in which Jim 309 00:20:53,475 --> 00:20:57,595 Speaker 1: Possum Woods announced games to the Oakland A's, there is 310 00:20:57,635 --> 00:21:01,515 Speaker 1: now a real possum living in the wall of the 311 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:06,275 Speaker 1: visiting team television booth. Seriously, the Oakland Colisee, and where 312 00:21:06,315 --> 00:21:10,355 Speaker 1: sewage has flowed freely through the dugout, but which ownership 313 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:15,995 Speaker 1: expenditures have not, has its own in house possum. And Friday, 314 00:21:15,995 --> 00:21:19,795 Speaker 1: this possum, defying all known rules of animal decorum, relieved 315 00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:23,875 Speaker 1: himself inside his own den, and the smell was so 316 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:26,035 Speaker 1: bad that the crew of the visiting New York Mets 317 00:21:26,115 --> 00:21:29,755 Speaker 1: chose to use a different TV booth. But that smell. 318 00:21:30,675 --> 00:21:33,275 Speaker 1: Are we sure it was the possum or it was 319 00:21:33,315 --> 00:21:36,475 Speaker 1: the cheap A's owners trying to make the place so 320 00:21:36,635 --> 00:21:39,395 Speaker 1: bad that Baseball would let them move the franchise to 321 00:21:39,595 --> 00:22:01,555 Speaker 1: Las Vegas. Thank you, Nancy Faust. Meanwhile, a little bit 322 00:22:01,595 --> 00:22:05,755 Speaker 1: more poignant confluence of sports and animals Boston Marathon Day, 323 00:22:05,795 --> 00:22:08,235 Speaker 1: but for some of us the Highland has already taken place. 324 00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:11,875 Speaker 1: At a downtown Boston park yesterday, the lives of the 325 00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:15,875 Speaker 1: official dog of the marathon, Spencer, and his niece Penny, 326 00:22:15,915 --> 00:22:19,435 Speaker 1: were celebrated. For a decade. Spencer and his humans, Rich 327 00:22:19,515 --> 00:22:24,795 Speaker 1: and Dory Powers, had greeted the Boston marathoners at mile three. Spencer, 328 00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:28,355 Speaker 1: a Golden Retriever, held a Boston Strong flag in his mouth, 329 00:22:28,395 --> 00:22:30,795 Speaker 1: and runner after runner would delay their race to take 330 00:22:30,795 --> 00:22:33,315 Speaker 1: a picture with him. Some years they were lined up 331 00:22:33,635 --> 00:22:35,715 Speaker 1: waiting to take a picture with him while they were 332 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:39,395 Speaker 1: running the race. Spencer was thirteen when he died of 333 00:22:39,435 --> 00:22:42,755 Speaker 1: cancer in February. His niece Penny died not long after that, 334 00:22:43,035 --> 00:22:46,315 Speaker 1: and yesterday came the memorial. Friends of the Powers family 335 00:22:46,355 --> 00:22:49,035 Speaker 1: hoped a couple of Golden Retrievers would show up, maybe 336 00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:51,995 Speaker 1: a few dozen with their humans. In fact, the New 337 00:22:52,075 --> 00:22:54,715 Speaker 1: York Times estimates the number of dogs at the memorial 338 00:22:55,395 --> 00:22:58,755 Speaker 1: total two hundred and fifty. Rich Powers planned to be 339 00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:00,995 Speaker 1: at his usual spot at mile three for the twenty 340 00:23:01,035 --> 00:23:03,635 Speaker 1: twenty three marathon. No Spencer this time, sadly, but he 341 00:23:03,675 --> 00:23:06,395 Speaker 1: had lots of friends at the memorial. Yesterday. The Times 342 00:23:06,435 --> 00:23:13,075 Speaker 1: noted a few of them by name, Will Sammy, Mandy Cather, Lucy, 343 00:23:13,115 --> 00:23:21,595 Speaker 1: Frank Flynn, Lou Kona River, Miko Clementine, Lily Cedar Chester 344 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:40,835 Speaker 1: and Maple Rip Spencer still ahead on this all new 345 00:23:40,955 --> 00:23:43,635 Speaker 1: edition of Countdown. This happens maybe ten thousand times a 346 00:23:43,715 --> 00:23:46,035 Speaker 1: year in this country. I got the life hack that 347 00:23:46,155 --> 00:23:49,435 Speaker 1: let me avoid the embarrassment that must happen in ninety 348 00:23:49,555 --> 00:23:52,635 Speaker 1: nine hundred of those ten thousand times. How to throw 349 00:23:52,755 --> 00:23:56,715 Speaker 1: a successful ceremonial first pitch, All you have to do 350 00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:59,875 Speaker 1: is cheat. I'll explain first time for the daily round 351 00:23:59,915 --> 00:24:02,275 Speaker 1: up the miscreants, morons and Dunning Kruger EFCT specimens who 352 00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:07,635 Speaker 1: constitute today's worst person in the world. The brons. Nicky 353 00:24:07,715 --> 00:24:10,435 Speaker 1: Haley Boy was at a big story when her presidential 354 00:24:10,475 --> 00:24:13,395 Speaker 1: campaign revealed it had burst out of the gate by 355 00:24:13,475 --> 00:24:18,395 Speaker 1: raising eleven million dollars. Yeah, actually not so much. Literally 356 00:24:18,515 --> 00:24:22,355 Speaker 1: not so much. The campaign transferred two million, seven hundred 357 00:24:22,395 --> 00:24:26,555 Speaker 1: thousand dollars among three different campaign subcommittees and counted all 358 00:24:26,555 --> 00:24:30,155 Speaker 1: of it going out and coming in, counted all that 359 00:24:30,235 --> 00:24:34,275 Speaker 1: money twice. So Haley raised eight point three million, not 360 00:24:34,395 --> 00:24:37,035 Speaker 1: eleven million, And ordinarily eight point three million would be 361 00:24:37,035 --> 00:24:39,755 Speaker 1: a great start, except when it turns out you artificially 362 00:24:39,795 --> 00:24:43,915 Speaker 1: inflated the number, something not even Trump does. How stupid 363 00:24:43,955 --> 00:24:47,635 Speaker 1: is this? Nicki Haley? As a side note stick a 364 00:24:47,715 --> 00:24:50,275 Speaker 1: fork in. The small man in high heeled shoes, the 365 00:24:50,315 --> 00:24:55,075 Speaker 1: best heeled of Ron Desanta's supporters, Florida's Thomas Petterfee, worth 366 00:24:55,115 --> 00:24:58,155 Speaker 1: about twenty six billion, says he will not be donating 367 00:24:58,195 --> 00:25:01,555 Speaker 1: any money to a Dessantis campaign because the candidate seems 368 00:25:01,595 --> 00:25:06,355 Speaker 1: to have lost some momentum. You think because he went 369 00:25:06,395 --> 00:25:10,475 Speaker 1: on of his stance on abortion and book banning. DeSantis 370 00:25:10,555 --> 00:25:13,115 Speaker 1: is too far to the right for this guy. Fetterfee. 371 00:25:14,115 --> 00:25:17,515 Speaker 1: The runner up, Marjorie Barney Rubbell Green, finally, finally, a 372 00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:20,035 Speaker 1: Democratic candidate, will make her part of his campaign, even 373 00:25:20,075 --> 00:25:23,475 Speaker 1: though he is in Arizona and she is in Georgia. 374 00:25:23,995 --> 00:25:27,195 Speaker 1: Andre Cherney, running for the Arizona House seat now held 375 00:25:27,195 --> 00:25:30,995 Speaker 1: by David Schweikert, tells Politico he will emphasize that Schweikert 376 00:25:31,075 --> 00:25:35,595 Speaker 1: took a campaign donation from Green's committee two thousand dollars. 377 00:25:36,115 --> 00:25:38,955 Speaker 1: One hopes he hits Green for being not just a 378 00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:43,915 Speaker 1: hallucinating fascist, but for being a cheap hallucinating fascist. Here's 379 00:25:43,995 --> 00:25:47,435 Speaker 1: two thousand dollars. It's as high as I can count. 380 00:25:47,915 --> 00:25:52,595 Speaker 1: But our winner Trump Junior. Oh, that terrifying moment has 381 00:25:52,715 --> 00:25:56,315 Speaker 1: arrived when you realize the monster you built is no 382 00:25:56,435 --> 00:26:00,275 Speaker 1: longer listening to you. The magas went nuts when bud 383 00:26:00,355 --> 00:26:02,875 Speaker 1: Light featured a trans person on a can of beer, 384 00:26:02,955 --> 00:26:06,035 Speaker 1: because beer is the one way they can tell themselves 385 00:26:06,115 --> 00:26:08,515 Speaker 1: they don't want to change genders, or wear a dress 386 00:26:08,715 --> 00:26:12,595 Speaker 1: or are gay. Junior took a moment off from his campaign. 387 00:26:12,835 --> 00:26:15,515 Speaker 1: You know things go better with Coke to tell them 388 00:26:15,515 --> 00:26:18,315 Speaker 1: to not boycott Anheuser Busch and bud Light and the 389 00:26:18,315 --> 00:26:21,915 Speaker 1: thirty two different anheuser Busch brands because Anheuser Busch was 390 00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:26,155 Speaker 1: one of the top corporate Republican donors. And the magas 391 00:26:26,595 --> 00:26:32,355 Speaker 1: went nuts. One wrote Trump's confirm Trader's status. Another more 392 00:26:32,435 --> 00:26:35,755 Speaker 1: proof that DJT is not going to save America. A 393 00:26:35,835 --> 00:26:39,475 Speaker 1: third says Junior is responsible for quote a masterclass in 394 00:26:39,555 --> 00:26:42,915 Speaker 1: becoming a rhino kiss A company's asked despite them doing 395 00:26:42,915 --> 00:26:45,875 Speaker 1: stuff that pisses you off, because they give your sides 396 00:26:45,915 --> 00:26:52,835 Speaker 1: politicians money, Junior Trump, Junior, Hey, Dandie better read up 397 00:26:52,835 --> 00:26:55,995 Speaker 1: on how that French revolution turned out, because this is 398 00:26:56,035 --> 00:27:02,475 Speaker 1: how it started. To Day's worst person in the world 399 00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:17,435 Speaker 1: stell ahead on Countdown. I'm not big into advice here, 400 00:27:17,555 --> 00:27:22,235 Speaker 1: but if one situation befalls you one particular situation, I 401 00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:26,155 Speaker 1: have your game plan next. First, in each tradition of Countdown, 402 00:27:26,155 --> 00:27:28,115 Speaker 1: we feature a dog ineed you can help every dog 403 00:27:28,195 --> 00:27:30,715 Speaker 1: has its day and to DeVore California. And it's not 404 00:27:30,915 --> 00:27:35,075 Speaker 1: merely that we have businesses that often make money killing dogs. 405 00:27:35,115 --> 00:27:37,835 Speaker 1: It's that they can be this unfeeling about it. They 406 00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:41,235 Speaker 1: are ready to kill two year old Anastasia because she's 407 00:27:41,315 --> 00:27:46,795 Speaker 1: quote aggressively fixating on food, even though one look at 408 00:27:46,835 --> 00:27:51,515 Speaker 1: Anastasia's photos and her videos show she is terrifyingly underweight 409 00:27:51,595 --> 00:27:57,955 Speaker 1: and malnourished. Fixated on food, good God, Anastasia is said 410 00:27:57,955 --> 00:28:00,675 Speaker 1: to be sweet and easygoing and needs a foster in 411 00:28:00,715 --> 00:28:04,875 Speaker 1: the DeVore, California area, someone who will feed her to 412 00:28:04,915 --> 00:28:09,115 Speaker 1: a rescue saves her from starvation followed by execution. You 413 00:28:09,115 --> 00:28:12,555 Speaker 1: can find Anastasia on my Twitter feeds. I thank you 414 00:28:13,115 --> 00:28:36,595 Speaker 1: and Anastasia thanks you to the number one story on 415 00:28:36,635 --> 00:28:40,035 Speaker 1: the Countdown and my favorite topic me and you'd be 416 00:28:40,115 --> 00:28:44,035 Speaker 1: surprised how often this happens. But literally ten days ago, 417 00:28:44,795 --> 00:28:47,355 Speaker 1: I was asked for advice by several people about to 418 00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:50,675 Speaker 1: do this, the kids of the great New York Mets 419 00:28:50,675 --> 00:28:55,035 Speaker 1: baseball announcer Bob Murphy, and they wanted to know how 420 00:28:55,475 --> 00:28:59,395 Speaker 1: to go about throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at 421 00:28:59,395 --> 00:29:03,715 Speaker 1: a baseball game. I don't know what the odds actually 422 00:29:03,715 --> 00:29:06,035 Speaker 1: are that you will ever be asked to throw out 423 00:29:06,075 --> 00:29:09,755 Speaker 1: a ceremonial first pitch at a baseball game. Not counting 424 00:29:09,795 --> 00:29:13,315 Speaker 1: spring training and the postseason, and not discounting double headers, 425 00:29:13,755 --> 00:29:16,555 Speaker 1: there are two thousand, four hundred and thirty Major League 426 00:29:16,555 --> 00:29:19,795 Speaker 1: baseball games played every year. There is not always a 427 00:29:19,875 --> 00:29:22,355 Speaker 1: ceremonial first pitch before each of them, but the number 428 00:29:22,395 --> 00:29:26,235 Speaker 1: seems to grow annually. Throw in the minor leagues, and 429 00:29:26,275 --> 00:29:29,275 Speaker 1: there are roughly nine, six hundred and thirty professional games 430 00:29:29,315 --> 00:29:31,915 Speaker 1: a year. I don't know how to begin to count 431 00:29:31,955 --> 00:29:34,435 Speaker 1: all the college games and even high school or other 432 00:29:34,515 --> 00:29:36,755 Speaker 1: amateur games where they start with somebody throwing out a 433 00:29:36,795 --> 00:29:40,275 Speaker 1: ceremonial first pitch. But I don't think that ten thousand 434 00:29:40,355 --> 00:29:43,595 Speaker 1: ceremonial first pitches a year is off by a crazy amount, 435 00:29:44,435 --> 00:29:46,955 Speaker 1: which means in ten years there are one hundred thousand 436 00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,915 Speaker 1: of them, and all of a sudden, your chances of 437 00:29:48,915 --> 00:29:51,435 Speaker 1: getting to do this or having to do this quickly 438 00:29:51,475 --> 00:29:54,675 Speaker 1: get wildly better than your chances of winning even a 439 00:29:54,715 --> 00:29:58,555 Speaker 1: small prize in a lottery or a free ham somewhere. 440 00:29:59,875 --> 00:30:02,755 Speaker 1: My number first came up on September fourth, two thousand 441 00:30:02,795 --> 00:30:05,795 Speaker 1: and six. I was on the stage Satan Island Ferry, 442 00:30:06,315 --> 00:30:09,035 Speaker 1: one of the most underrated transportation experiences in the world, 443 00:30:09,115 --> 00:30:11,195 Speaker 1: by the way, going to see the old Staten Island 444 00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:14,755 Speaker 1: Yankees played in the New York Pennsylvania League. My cell 445 00:30:14,835 --> 00:30:16,795 Speaker 1: phone rang. It was the general manager of the team 446 00:30:16,795 --> 00:30:18,795 Speaker 1: who had given me a press credential for that game. 447 00:30:19,315 --> 00:30:22,075 Speaker 1: Because yes, I was and am too cheap to spring 448 00:30:22,155 --> 00:30:25,635 Speaker 1: for a twelve dollars baseball ticket. The general manager asked 449 00:30:25,675 --> 00:30:27,835 Speaker 1: me if I wanted to throw out the ceremonial first 450 00:30:27,835 --> 00:30:30,155 Speaker 1: pitch that night, and I kind of had to say 451 00:30:30,275 --> 00:30:33,275 Speaker 1: yes because I was saving twelve dollars, so I said sure, 452 00:30:33,275 --> 00:30:34,835 Speaker 1: and he said great, And after we hung up, I 453 00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:37,235 Speaker 1: briefly thought my best bet was to jump off the 454 00:30:37,235 --> 00:30:40,715 Speaker 1: Staten Island ferry and take my chances swimming back to Manhattan. 455 00:30:41,875 --> 00:30:45,195 Speaker 1: Consider it. The odds that you will someday throw out 456 00:30:45,195 --> 00:30:48,795 Speaker 1: the ceremonial first pitch at a baseball game may be small, 457 00:30:48,835 --> 00:30:51,555 Speaker 1: but the odds that you will do so and be 458 00:30:51,715 --> 00:30:56,275 Speaker 1: any good at it are even smaller. You will be 459 00:30:56,395 --> 00:30:59,915 Speaker 1: asked to throw a baseball from a distance of roughly 460 00:30:59,995 --> 00:31:04,035 Speaker 1: sixty feet with your arm on a straight line, to 461 00:31:04,115 --> 00:31:08,075 Speaker 1: a professional catcher while all the fans watch, and often 462 00:31:08,115 --> 00:31:11,075 Speaker 1: while all the players and cameramen and TV cameras watch, 463 00:31:12,355 --> 00:31:14,515 Speaker 1: And ultimately it does not matter if it is fifty 464 00:31:14,555 --> 00:31:17,915 Speaker 1: fans or fifty thousand, and whether the cameras are Fox 465 00:31:17,955 --> 00:31:21,755 Speaker 1: and ESPN, are two friends of yours with old iPhones 466 00:31:22,355 --> 00:31:26,155 Speaker 1: or two enemies of yours with old iPhones. You will 467 00:31:26,235 --> 00:31:30,715 Speaker 1: get that rarest and most disturbing of sensations not only 468 00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:34,835 Speaker 1: that you are being watched, but that you are the 469 00:31:34,915 --> 00:31:40,955 Speaker 1: only thing being watched. All these thoughts played through my 470 00:31:41,035 --> 00:31:43,875 Speaker 1: head that Labor day so long ago, followed by memories 471 00:31:43,875 --> 00:31:46,635 Speaker 1: of the last time I actually tried to pitch. Eighth grade. 472 00:31:47,515 --> 00:31:49,675 Speaker 1: I did not get anybody out in the eighth grade. 473 00:31:49,835 --> 00:31:52,115 Speaker 1: I did not throw any strikes. I did not get 474 00:31:52,155 --> 00:31:55,795 Speaker 1: all of my pitches even to reach the catcher on 475 00:31:55,955 --> 00:31:59,435 Speaker 1: less than thirty one bounces. I was an okay hitter. 476 00:32:00,675 --> 00:32:04,035 Speaker 1: I had surprising power, I was not a pitcher, and bluntly, 477 00:32:04,075 --> 00:32:08,115 Speaker 1: since the eighth grade, I had only gotten worse. The 478 00:32:08,155 --> 00:32:10,715 Speaker 1: next set of thoughts was a quick, vivid personal replay 479 00:32:10,715 --> 00:32:13,275 Speaker 1: of every bad ceremonial first pitch I had ever seen. 480 00:32:14,515 --> 00:32:16,435 Speaker 1: It hadn't happened as of that day on the way 481 00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:18,035 Speaker 1: to Staten Island, but the one in New York with 482 00:32:18,075 --> 00:32:21,355 Speaker 1: the rapper fittycent that may come to your mind. That's 483 00:32:21,355 --> 00:32:23,755 Speaker 1: where Fitdty sent got on the mound before a Mets game, 484 00:32:23,995 --> 00:32:25,955 Speaker 1: and he let her rip and off went the ball 485 00:32:25,955 --> 00:32:30,235 Speaker 1: at an angle of fidty degrees. Call me, maybe, girl 486 00:32:30,315 --> 00:32:33,395 Speaker 1: got a first pitch in Tampa literally spiked the ball, 487 00:32:33,475 --> 00:32:37,035 Speaker 1: as did Mariah Carey in Japan, as did basketball's John 488 00:32:37,115 --> 00:32:40,915 Speaker 1: Wall in Washington. Actor Jordan Leandre took the mound at 489 00:32:40,955 --> 00:32:43,355 Speaker 1: Fenway Park in Boston in front of a line of 490 00:32:43,395 --> 00:32:46,995 Speaker 1: former Red Sox pitchers there for a reunion, and disaster struck. 491 00:32:47,635 --> 00:32:49,835 Speaker 1: Not only did he overthrow the catcher by twenty or 492 00:32:49,915 --> 00:32:52,915 Speaker 1: thirty feet, but his pitch ultimately hit the team photographer 493 00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:59,275 Speaker 1: in the groin. These and other first pitches gone bad, 494 00:32:59,995 --> 00:33:03,115 Speaker 1: all of them on video somewhere, will loom up in 495 00:33:03,115 --> 00:33:05,475 Speaker 1: front of you like the specters of dead people to 496 00:33:05,555 --> 00:33:09,595 Speaker 1: whom you owe money. At roughly this stage in my 497 00:33:09,675 --> 00:33:12,715 Speaker 1: two thousand and six panic, my phone rang again. It 498 00:33:12,835 --> 00:33:15,155 Speaker 1: was a former major league pitcher, a friend of mine, 499 00:33:15,235 --> 00:33:17,635 Speaker 1: and within moments I had explained the mistake I had 500 00:33:17,755 --> 00:33:20,955 Speaker 1: just made, and he said, to my surprise, easy fix. 501 00:33:21,835 --> 00:33:23,755 Speaker 1: And I said, I'm about to jump off the Staten 502 00:33:23,755 --> 00:33:27,235 Speaker 1: Island ferry, and he said, very easy fix. First thing, 503 00:33:27,315 --> 00:33:29,795 Speaker 1: he said, as soon as you get to the ballpark, 504 00:33:30,435 --> 00:33:35,435 Speaker 1: get a baseball, get the baseball, get their baseball, ask 505 00:33:35,555 --> 00:33:39,595 Speaker 1: them for a baseball. Steal a baseball, buy a baseball, 506 00:33:40,115 --> 00:33:43,435 Speaker 1: and every moment you have that baseball, take your fingernails 507 00:33:43,675 --> 00:33:46,995 Speaker 1: and just kind of pull up on the red stitches. 508 00:33:47,715 --> 00:33:51,075 Speaker 1: Just try to loosen them with your fingers. It will 509 00:33:51,075 --> 00:33:53,795 Speaker 1: seem as if nothing is happening. But if you just 510 00:33:53,915 --> 00:33:57,155 Speaker 1: pull out those stitches with your nails in ten or 511 00:33:57,195 --> 00:34:00,795 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes, essentially what you'll have is a scuffed baseball. 512 00:34:01,795 --> 00:34:06,475 Speaker 1: And I said nah, And he said, why do you 513 00:34:06,515 --> 00:34:08,875 Speaker 1: think I threw so many first pitch strikes in my 514 00:34:08,955 --> 00:34:12,355 Speaker 1: starts in my home ballpark Because I got the ball 515 00:34:12,395 --> 00:34:16,755 Speaker 1: and pulled at the stitches. Then they changed the rules 516 00:34:16,795 --> 00:34:19,435 Speaker 1: on me. But trust me, if you do this, it 517 00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:23,075 Speaker 1: will drop like a stone. It will drop in front 518 00:34:23,075 --> 00:34:29,475 Speaker 1: of the catcher, like it's Mariano Rivera's cut fastball. I sighed, 519 00:34:29,755 --> 00:34:33,355 Speaker 1: I said, all right, what else? He said, do not, 520 00:34:33,795 --> 00:34:37,835 Speaker 1: under any circumstances actually go up onto the mound. He 521 00:34:37,955 --> 00:34:41,395 Speaker 1: sounded stern and annoyed, and as if he had been 522 00:34:41,435 --> 00:34:44,475 Speaker 1: annoyed for decades. You were not a pitcher. You are 523 00:34:44,515 --> 00:34:47,955 Speaker 1: not used to throwing off an irregular sloped hill. All 524 00:34:47,995 --> 00:34:49,755 Speaker 1: you can do from on top of the mound is 525 00:34:49,835 --> 00:34:51,875 Speaker 1: fall off the top of the mound. Just go to 526 00:34:51,915 --> 00:34:54,995 Speaker 1: the very front. We call it the skirt of the mound. 527 00:34:55,275 --> 00:34:59,195 Speaker 1: Think skirts. You're far enough away, you're standing on the 528 00:34:59,235 --> 00:35:02,835 Speaker 1: mound sort of. Nobody's going to criticize, you do not 529 00:35:03,475 --> 00:35:07,835 Speaker 1: die on that hill. Well, that made sense. Anything else. 530 00:35:08,555 --> 00:35:12,675 Speaker 1: What happens, he asked, rhetorically and pleasantly, what happens when 531 00:35:12,675 --> 00:35:16,395 Speaker 1: you see a ceremonial pitch hit the ground or drop 532 00:35:16,395 --> 00:35:19,715 Speaker 1: in the dirt in front of the catcher? I replied, 533 00:35:20,035 --> 00:35:24,035 Speaker 1: everybody goes boo Exactly, he said, what happens when you 534 00:35:24,035 --> 00:35:26,915 Speaker 1: see a fair ceremonial first pitch go over the catcher's head? 535 00:35:27,995 --> 00:35:32,995 Speaker 1: I replied, everybody laughs. Which do you prefer? He asked, 536 00:35:33,395 --> 00:35:36,195 Speaker 1: do you prefer to be booed or to get a laugh. 537 00:35:37,515 --> 00:35:40,595 Speaker 1: He did not wait for my reply. Aim at the 538 00:35:40,635 --> 00:35:45,195 Speaker 1: catcher's head. Worse things happen. It goes over his head, 539 00:35:45,315 --> 00:35:48,795 Speaker 1: You get a big laugh. You can laugh with them. Plus, 540 00:35:49,195 --> 00:35:51,155 Speaker 1: if you have been picking at the stitches, when you 541 00:35:51,235 --> 00:35:54,755 Speaker 1: aim at the catcher's head about ten fifteen, twenty feet 542 00:35:54,755 --> 00:35:57,435 Speaker 1: before the ball gets to him, the ball will drop 543 00:35:57,635 --> 00:36:00,755 Speaker 1: like a stone for a strike, like your Mariano Rivera, 544 00:36:00,795 --> 00:36:05,435 Speaker 1: and they will cheer you. Those were his in stro ductions. 545 00:36:05,955 --> 00:36:10,235 Speaker 1: Actual professional Major league pitcher pitched in a World Series. 546 00:36:10,395 --> 00:36:14,315 Speaker 1: Immediately get a baseball, doesn't matter which one pick at 547 00:36:14,355 --> 00:36:19,955 Speaker 1: the stitches, never go on to the mound and aim high. 548 00:36:20,635 --> 00:36:22,955 Speaker 1: Fifteen minutes later, I was in the beautiful Staten Island 549 00:36:22,995 --> 00:36:25,755 Speaker 1: Ballpark with its startling vista of Manhattan and the westernmost 550 00:36:25,835 --> 00:36:28,275 Speaker 1: edges of the Atlantic Ocean, and within seconds of getting 551 00:36:28,315 --> 00:36:30,555 Speaker 1: on the field, I had accomplished the first task. I 552 00:36:30,635 --> 00:36:33,235 Speaker 1: found a ball just sitting there in the third base dugout, 553 00:36:33,355 --> 00:36:35,595 Speaker 1: and immediately I grabbed it and began pulling at the 554 00:36:35,595 --> 00:36:40,075 Speaker 1: stitches with my fingernails. And of course nothing happened. Two 555 00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:41,835 Speaker 1: hours to game time, and I had people to say 556 00:36:41,875 --> 00:36:43,875 Speaker 1: hello to and things to see in, food to buy, 557 00:36:44,115 --> 00:36:46,875 Speaker 1: and yet I kept picking at the stitches with my fingernails, 558 00:36:46,915 --> 00:36:49,395 Speaker 1: And within minutes I was firmly convinced my quote friend 559 00:36:49,475 --> 00:36:52,155 Speaker 1: unquote had played me just to see if I would 560 00:36:52,195 --> 00:36:54,675 Speaker 1: be stupid enough to actually pick at the stitches with 561 00:36:54,795 --> 00:36:57,955 Speaker 1: fingernails that could not possibly alter those stitches in the 562 00:36:57,995 --> 00:37:04,275 Speaker 1: trial of ten thousand years. As the time for the 563 00:37:04,315 --> 00:37:10,195 Speaker 1: first neered, life itself accelerated. Before I knew it, I 564 00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:12,315 Speaker 1: was walking out from the dugout with the Staten Island 565 00:37:12,315 --> 00:37:15,475 Speaker 1: catcher Francisco Cervelli, who later made the Majors and was 566 00:37:15,515 --> 00:37:18,035 Speaker 1: briefly a Yankee fan favorite, and then in Pittsburgh too, 567 00:37:18,035 --> 00:37:20,275 Speaker 1: and I said to him, be prepared. I'm gonna aim 568 00:37:20,355 --> 00:37:22,555 Speaker 1: high so they laugh when it flies over your head. 569 00:37:23,635 --> 00:37:25,875 Speaker 1: He backed up to the plate. I walked to the 570 00:37:25,915 --> 00:37:28,355 Speaker 1: mound and did not go on it. I was still 571 00:37:28,395 --> 00:37:30,955 Speaker 1: picking at the stitches on the baseball and swearing oaths 572 00:37:30,955 --> 00:37:34,555 Speaker 1: of vengeance at my pitcher friend. Suddenly I saw ten 573 00:37:34,675 --> 00:37:36,915 Speaker 1: million people staring at me, even though there were only 574 00:37:36,955 --> 00:37:39,995 Speaker 1: about fifteen hundred of them actually in the ballpark. I 575 00:37:40,035 --> 00:37:42,955 Speaker 1: made a stilted and awkward wind up of a sort. 576 00:37:43,355 --> 00:37:47,515 Speaker 1: I concentrated on hitting my catcher, Sirvelli, in the head 577 00:37:47,555 --> 00:37:49,755 Speaker 1: with it. The ball came out of my hand with 578 00:37:49,875 --> 00:37:53,555 Speaker 1: surprising ease. It shot directly towards the catcher's helmet, and, 579 00:37:53,635 --> 00:37:56,035 Speaker 1: as God is my witness, fifteen feet from the plate, 580 00:37:56,275 --> 00:38:01,275 Speaker 1: the damn thing dropped like a stone and thunked into 581 00:38:01,275 --> 00:38:06,955 Speaker 1: Cervelli's glove for a perfect strike. There were laughs of surprise, 582 00:38:07,955 --> 00:38:11,035 Speaker 1: many of them were mine. There were some roars of 583 00:38:11,115 --> 00:38:20,915 Speaker 1: approval and even applause. I stood stunned and motionless. The catcher, Survelli, 584 00:38:20,995 --> 00:38:23,115 Speaker 1: was running towards me while laughing, and when he got 585 00:38:23,115 --> 00:38:25,315 Speaker 1: to me before he handed me the baseball as a souvenir. 586 00:38:25,475 --> 00:38:27,395 Speaker 1: He looked at it quickly and then up at me, 587 00:38:27,475 --> 00:38:31,835 Speaker 1: and he said, you've been picking at the stitches. Good job. 588 00:38:45,795 --> 00:38:47,595 Speaker 1: I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank 589 00:38:47,635 --> 00:38:49,515 Speaker 1: you for listening. Here are the credits. Most of the 590 00:38:49,595 --> 00:38:52,355 Speaker 1: music was arranged, produced, and performed by Brian Ray and 591 00:38:52,435 --> 00:38:56,275 Speaker 1: John Phillip Shanell. The Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and 592 00:38:56,355 --> 00:38:59,795 Speaker 1: keyboards by John Phillip Shanell, Guitars, bass and drums by 593 00:38:59,795 --> 00:39:03,595 Speaker 1: Brian Ray, and it was produced by Tko Brothers. Other 594 00:39:03,635 --> 00:39:06,435 Speaker 1: Beethoven selections been arranged and performed by the group No 595 00:39:06,515 --> 00:39:10,395 Speaker 1: Horns Allowed. Sports music is the Oulderman theme from ESPN 596 00:39:10,395 --> 00:39:13,275 Speaker 1: two and it was written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy 597 00:39:13,275 --> 00:39:16,795 Speaker 1: of ESPN, Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Fauss. The best 598 00:39:16,835 --> 00:39:20,435 Speaker 1: baseball stadium organist ever I announced you today was Richard Lewis, 599 00:39:20,675 --> 00:39:23,795 Speaker 1: And everything else is pretty much my fault. So that's 600 00:39:23,835 --> 00:39:26,115 Speaker 1: countdown for this, the eight hundred and thirty second day 601 00:39:26,395 --> 00:39:29,435 Speaker 1: since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected 602 00:39:29,435 --> 00:39:33,115 Speaker 1: government of the United States. Don't forget keep arresting him 603 00:39:33,115 --> 00:39:36,475 Speaker 1: while we still can. The next scheduled countdown is tomorrow. 604 00:39:36,675 --> 00:39:39,475 Speaker 1: Until then, I'm keith Olraman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, 605 00:39:40,155 --> 00:39:51,675 Speaker 1: and good luck. Countdown with Keith Oldraman is a production 606 00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:57,195 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 607 00:39:57,275 --> 00:40:00,635 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.