WEBVTT - I Want a Boyfriend 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:04.400 This is How Men Think with brooks Like and Gavin 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:08.640 to Grab and I heard radio podcast. Welcome to another 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.760 episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:16.040 and I am here with my gracious and ever so 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:21.319 dashing co host today. What's up, buddy? Not much? I 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:23.560 am the good sir of the day. How are you 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:28.200 happy belated birthday? And most importantly, tell us how old 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:31.400 are you? I am now thirty seven, thirty seven years young. 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:34.600 We are at the same age, We're the same age. 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:38.840 You're born in eighty three? Are you thirty seven now? 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:42.600 Or are you thirty six? Still seven now? Oh? So 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.320 you're old? You're older than I am. Yeah, that's you 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:50.760 can tell by my maturity. Yeah, clearly I can crate 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:53.960 by the way I do feel. Um one, I do 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:57.880 feel that you stepped up to this opportunity to have 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:01.240 co hosting duties today because you are in a beautiful 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:05.520 blue collared shirt with a fresh new haircut, slicked back, 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:09.280 looking clean, clean shaven. We also have producer Tori with us. Tori, 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:12.880 doesn't he look clean? I was gonna ask, uh, what 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:14.760 was the experience like getting your hair cut? Did you 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:16.600 go into a salon? Did you have to wear a mask. 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:23.640 The salon I go to typically is still closed. Um 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:28.760 so my woman, Terry came to my house, so we 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:33.720 did it in the garage. We both wore masks, and yeah, 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.160 it was it was a necessary thing. I looked like, 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:43.240 not good. You look very professional right now, and I 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:46.320 want to I want to challenge one thing. I should 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:50.640 go a mohawk on your next cut. I will take 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:53.640 that into consideration and get back to you. Come on, 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.480 I'm gonna Tori. I'm gonna pressure all of the dudes 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:00.240 on how men think to unite under a mohawk. A 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:04.120 common mohawk for good is what we'll call it. I think. 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:07.520 Since we're going to be delving a little bit deeper 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:10.920 into Tories dating life, let me ask you this, would 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:16.640 you be into a guy with the mohawk? But I 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:19.360 don't know. I've never dated anyone with the mohawk. And 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:21.760 I don't mind Brooks. I mean, he's got some volume 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.760 on his right now. Right I just worked out, so 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:27.040 it's kind of like all over the place. But just wait, Tory. 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.000 In like a week, I have a friend of mine, 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:32.000 Jill Bach, who's like the best Jill Is. I love you, Jill, 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:34.760 you are the best stylisted l A. She always just 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:36.239 I just go to Jill and she just cuts my 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:38.720 hair however she wants. I just have full faith in her. 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:41.639 She's going to do some gnarly kind of lines in it. 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:44.320 We're gonna do something real funky with this mohawk and 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:47.880 just amplify it and turn it up a bit. See. See, 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:49.560 it's not a deal breaker for me. I kind of 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:51.200 like it now. It's like, I know it's your form 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:53.239 of expression right now. You're like, I'm here to mix 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:56.000 things up, let's make it fun. It shows you have 0:02:56.000 --> 0:03:01.000 a good personality. Um, but what about you that deal breaker? 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:05.960 Did you think for women? No, I think it. I 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:09.320 think if it suits your personality, fine, I don't think 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:13.160 I consider myself a mohawk guy. It's just not who 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.800 I am. So nothing I get to mohawx is just 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:21.240 not my style. He looked he's a little bit more preppy, 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:25.240 like you know, the Nanton Red's and an Oxford, not 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.839 the mohax. You know, he's very you have a very 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:33.760 polished and professional look, Ryan. Well, I thought I had 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.320 to step up the game after the tank top I 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:40.320 wore on the one year anniversary episode. Did you get 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:43.000 some blowback from the Ryano Dowt fan club, where the 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:48.160 team Ryan Loyalists came out in full forced to support 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:51.680 the look as I would have expected they would, and 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:54.840 it was just you guys who were very mean to me. 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:59.000 And it it hurts, but luckily my support base rallied 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:03.920 and here I am today. I'm glad you're here, buddy, 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.720 Glad you made it. And I'm also super excited about 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:12.040 today's show because producer Tori, who is one of the 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:15.760 loveliest and kindest souls I've ever met and enjoy to 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:18.039 work with every single day on this podcast. I've always 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:20.000 said that our team is one of the best parts 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:24.440 of doing this podcast. Producer Tori is finally willing to 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:28.960 open up about her dating life, her personal life, and 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:32.359 she's notoriously said she hasn't been looking for somebody, but 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:36.760 now you feel that you are ready and have the 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:40.560 composure or capacity to bring somebody into your life, or 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:44.200 you're willing to bring somebody into your life. Is that correct, Tory? Yes, 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:49.440 I have been someone since honestly I was born that 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:53.000 I have almost kind of take pride in the fact 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.640 that I've never desired to really like date someone do 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:59.480 I enjoy dating, Yes, but I haven't been like I 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:03.160 need have companionship. And now I'm in this radition and 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:08.640 I am like, holy, okay, quarantine, Okay, So let's get 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:11.760 into this. So, so we're gonna walk you through Tori's story. 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.200 We're gonna dive into tori story, and the whole purpose 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:17.159 of this podcast today, Tori, is to just Ryan and 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:19.320 I are ears for you. We want to hear your 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:21.960 story and offer any insight from a man's mind or 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.960 a man's perspective, and for our listeners, you might see 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:28.720 your story through Tori. Um. So, Tori, can you give us, 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:31.200 like give us and give our listeners a little background 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:33.440 on if you're okay with this? How old you are, 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.560 where you come from, and how you when you move 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:40.080 to l a Yeah. So, um, I'm originally from a 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:43.280 small town called Grass Valley where people literally have babies 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:47.840 at sixteen, and it's in California. It's just like right 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:52.160 outside of Lake Tahoe area. And then I moved when 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:55.360 I was eighteen to Orange County because my it was 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:59.200 a job shift for my parents. And then I ended 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:04.000 up in l A. Um from college and crazy, and 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:07.440 I haven't really realized this until honestly a couple of 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:10.320 weeks ago that I'm now in my mid twenties, so 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:14.240 I'm twenty five, and it's been a little bit of 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:18.520 like a quarter life crisis. A quarter life crisis, can 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:23.520 you be more specific in in which way? Um? I 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:28.200 think Quarantine has definitely brought to light the fact that 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:34.120 like companionship uh is really important because for me, like 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.200 I'm I'm a huge extrovert, so I can hang out 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:40.640 with my friends and have my quote unquote love tanks filled. 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:45.200 But now even my friends, um, and even like older 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:48.120 parents or family friends or even my cousins, like everyone's 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:53.720 separated and quarantined away that I'm now realizing how nice 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:55.760 it really would be to have someone in my life 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.920 in that way. So I would say the quarter life 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:02.000 crisis kind of hit now in Quarantine. So let me 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:05.120 ask you this story. Did you what was your dating 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:11.640 life like pre COVID and were you finding companionship pre 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:16.440 COVID or in that that contrast now being disconnected from 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:20.120 those types of people has exacerbated it. Or were you 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:23.040 always for the past couple of years kind of not 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:27.120 seeking companionship? Well, I'm someone it sounds funny because I'm 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:30.160 not someone who's like a lonely person, because again, I 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:33.200 do find companions I think companionship looks deeper than just 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.640 having someone in your life, Like it's your family, it's 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:39.960 your support systems, it's your community and so forth. So 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:43.320 having that all stripped away has definitely emphasized this. But 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:47.080 at the same time, like up before quarantine, you know, 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:51.560 you're I have a very active job, so I'm able 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:54.160 to go to events and like flirt with people or 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:55.640 have people be like, hey, like can I take you 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:56.920 on a date? And You're like sure, and like you 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.160 might go on a date knowing like you're not totally interested, 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:02.400 but you're still dating and like meeting people. And I 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:07.160 was talking to one guy specifically up until about January February. 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:10.280 Um and I kind of which I'm kind of jumping 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:13.640 forward a lot, but um, I like work a lot, 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:17.680 So for me, I was putting my work first before 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:23.160 that relationship. UM, and I use relationship loosely because like 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:25.200 we weren't anything official, but we were definitely talking for 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:29.920 about like seven to eight months and then UM yeah, 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.720 So then I put my work first and then that 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:34.760 kind of just fizzled out. And then in quarantine, I 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.160 was like, dang it, Like why do I constantly put 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:42.640 other things before reip. So that's a question I have, 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:44.760 and I also want to preface it with this, is 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:48.920 that that's completely okay for you to prioritize your work 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:52.600 if that is what is priority in your life. And 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:55.679 I say that from personal experience from the age of 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.880 like fifteen un till like thirty when I was like 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:02.640 pursuing making the NHL and then the first ten years 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:07.360 playing in the NHL, undoubtedly my training and my sport 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:10.600 and my career came first in my life. They were priority. 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:12.559 I was very selfish that way. I will say that 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:14.280 I was very selfish that way, but it was what 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:16.800 I needed to do for me at that time in 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:18.960 my life. I knew another stage of life would come 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:23.320 at a certain time, but I needed to express myself 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.120 fully and get every ounce of potential out of my 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:29.240 athletic career that I could. And so in that stage 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:31.760 of life, I was completely fine with it. I was 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:33.960 lonely and alone for a lot of it, but I 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:37.400 accepted that that that was my choice. That wasn't something 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.520 that anybody else put on me. So that being said, 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:43.560 it's okay if you want to prioritize work and career 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:45.840 in your life at this stage of your life. If 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:49.000 that's what you want, the question is is that what 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:51.160 you want? Or was it what you wanted in that 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:53.800 stage and now you're just starting to see a little 0:09:54.360 --> 0:10:00.920 shift in the priorities in your life. Is that what's happening? Um? 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:02.800 I don't know, it's it's it's hard to explain because 0:10:02.800 --> 0:10:05.440 we're living in a situation that no one could have 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.560 ever predicted. So I don't know if it's a shift. 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:11.000 I don't know if it's just loneliness that I'm feeling. 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:14.080 I don't know if it's like I'm just looking to 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.080 change up something in my life because I don't have 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.160 control over anything else. So I'm like trying to evaluate 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:21.640 all of that as we kind of go through this 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:25.160 kind of a thing. I have a question, uh, and 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.959 I want to get into that Tory think. But Brooks, 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:31.760 something you said just begs a question for me, which is, 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:35.760 so did you feel like in those how many years 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:39.520 were you in a job? You said over ten thirteen 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:43.240 seasons and then we had two lockouts, so fifteen years professional? Okay, 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:46.360 But so you you mentioned you were alone for the 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:49.440 majority of those years, did you. Was that the case 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:53.240 because you made a concerted effort to say, Okay, like, 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:58.079 it's a zero sum game. If I'm dating somebody or 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:02.040 romantically involved as anybody, it will then be taking me 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:07.000 away from my focus on the game and and my 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:10.120 job as an athlete, and therefore I won't be the 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.120 best hockey player I can be. So I need to 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.960 just like, there there will be a time when I 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:17.440 can go hook up with women, but now I just 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:20.719 have to just focus only on hockey. Like, was that 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.840 the mindset? Yeah, that was my mindset, truly, that was 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:27.360 full transparency. That was my mindset. Was I wanted to 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:32.600 pour every ounce of intensity and energy, um and time 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:37.400 everything I could into dedicating myself to become as good 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:40.240 at my craft as I could, to reach as high 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:43.600 a level as possible in my craft as I could. 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:45.840 And that was my decision. That wasn't put on me 0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:49.320 by parents, siblings, friends, anybody else. That was my decision. 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:53.720 And so I purposefully just kind of pushed a personal 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:58.640 life and a romantic relationship to the back burner. Um, 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:00.880 if I came across somebody year found somebody I was 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:05.199 intrigued in I would engage as much as I could. Um. 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:08.520 That didn't happen for the most part um, And so 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.000 all of my pretty much every decision in the course 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:13.720 of my day was based around what's going to allow 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:15.640 me to perform the best? What am I eating? How 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.640 am I resting? How my training? What time is the game? 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:20.760 How am I pre scouting the next game? You know? 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:22.719 How can I be so prepared to execute at the 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:26.240 highest possible level? Um? And so I did it, ran fully, 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:30.800 I pushed, I pushed personal life to the side for many, many, 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:33.240 many years. And then it got to a point where 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.640 maybe this is what Tories going through. Was around thirty 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:40.320 years old. Almost when I hit thirty, where I was like, 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:43.040 I could have the best night at the rink. I 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:45.120 could score a couple of goals, be first star, be 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:48.200 toasted for in front of eighteen thousand people. But I'd 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:51.839 come home and the lights were off, the house was cold, 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.920 there wasn't another heartbeat in the house, and I had 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:58.280 nobody to share that success with. And I was like, ultimately, 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:01.360 I was unfulfilled in my life life. And that's when 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:04.200 I started to turn for me that wow, life is 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.720 more than what I do. It's more than my career. 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:10.600 It's about living a fulfilled and happy life and the 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:15.360 ability to express love and to receive love. And so 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:18.000 then I really made a conscious shift on how do 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:20.520 I want to lead my life? What do I want 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:24.120 to prioritize in my life? And now family, friends and 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:26.960 connection is at the priority of my life. I still 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:31.600 have massive career aspirations, but those are secondary to a 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:36.640 fulfilling life full of love and laughter. Is that in retrospect? 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:38.560 Would you have done it if you could do it 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.520 all again, would you do an anchor for life? No? 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.280 But now I'm at total peace with with all of it, 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:46.880 with the amount of energy that I poured into it, 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.040 I feel like I got every ounce of potential out 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:52.120 of myself. I feel like I had the best career. 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:56.520 I have no regrets about decisions I made in my 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:59.280 career because I know I poured my entire heart into it, 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:02.160 and so at peace with that stage of life now, 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:05.600 which is really allowing me to enjoy fully this stage. 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:09.440 Did you arrive at that decision part because you saw 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:12.560 other teammates that were like you know, they came in, 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:14.800 they put our time on the rank, and then they 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:17.360 couldn't wait to go out to the clubs and hook 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:20.800 up with girls, and you know, you just you saw 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:25.480 how that made them less. They didn't realize their potential 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:27.080 as a result, So you didn't want to go down 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:29.160 that path. No, that had nothing to do with it. No, 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:31.960 my realizing my potential was just my journey from the 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:34.400 as a child. It was my dream to become the 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:36.800 best hockey player I could. That had nothing to do 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:40.080 with it. But it was really cool to see people 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:43.240 that I knew dedicated their their hearts to the game 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:47.560 and then go into the family lounge afterwards and pick 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:49.560 up their daughter, pick up their son and just play 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:51.480 with them and have their eyes light up in a 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.120 way that I had never seen like they I knew 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.400 that they poured their heart soul into the game, but 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.520 then when I really saw them around their families, You're like, Wow, 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:03.040 they are happier around their families than they are playing 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:05.640 this beautiful game that we're so lucky to play. And 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:09.120 that kind of like include me into two And it 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:12.000 just was when I got older. So Tori, maybe that's 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:14.840 the stage of life you're entering now where you're realizing, Hey, 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:17.400 work is great, I love my work life, but now 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:20.000 I have the capacity to bring in welcome in more 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:22.920 fulfillment and joy in my life totally. And I think 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:26.160 that kind of what Ryan said to also applies to 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:30.640 a non athlete, Like you start hitting your mid twenties, 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:33.160 where you see the people still going to the club 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.120 and like cooking up and or just doing the tender 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:38.320 dates or whatever, and then you also have the other 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.160 half who are like fully, I've had three of my 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:44.400 friends get engaged this year. Two of them are pregnant. 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.320 So I'm also seeing the like the other side of 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.160 it where it's like, Okay, well do I want that 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:51.920 or do I still want to live like the l 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:54.280 a I'm only in my mid twenties. But then it's 0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:56.680 also the other side of I'm already in my mid twenties, 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.600 you know what I mean. And so I'm seeing both sides, 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.240 and I'm like, don't know which one I want because 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:03.640 I don't want to have a baby now, Like I mean, 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:05.840 I'm literally eating celery and peanut butter for breakfast, Like 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:09.160 I'm not I'm equipped to like prepare a baby's meal, 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:11.520 you know. But at the same time, it's like, is 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.920 that something I need to be focusing more on is 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.960 like a future of that, Tori, I'm curious about this. 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:24.520 So you're does does this play into your into your 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.920 thought process? This idea of because my wife has a 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:38.240 friend who's thirty four, um who who basically is still single, 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.600 and she's like, she is now in this crisis mode 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:45.280 of she really wants to get married and have kids, 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:49.480 and she's saying, I'm thirty four, Like how long am 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:52.880 I going to have eggs that are fertile? Like? And 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.560 so like when am I going to Yeah? And so 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:57.560 she's like and we did the math and it was 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:02.640 actually really frightening. More like, Okay, if she met someone today, 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:06.200 then you're not going to get engaged for at least 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:09.119 a year probably for you to know that this is 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:11.600 definitely the guy you want to marry, and then your 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:15.439 engagement is going to be you know, X long before 0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:17.199 the wedding can happen. And then you want to be 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.399 married for a period of time where you can enjoy 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:23.240 each other and not distract kids and everything where life 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:26.720 gets real quickly. And so you do this timeline and 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:30.560 it's like it's your it's like a five year plan 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:33.440 before you can even think about having kids. And yes, 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:36.520 you of course in a later stage of life can 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:40.320 fast track that. But the point is, um, then you 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:42.199 start just thinking like do I need to just settle 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:47.040 for anyone now just to ever have kids someday? And 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:48.399 that's not a good way to look at it. But 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:52.000 do you have you begun freaking yourself out at the timeline? 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:53.880 I mean, you have the luxury of volume being twenty five, 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:56.760 but still Ryan wants to know if I've become him 0:17:56.760 --> 0:18:00.320 and become a warrior, and yeah, one how to sent 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:06.280 because for me also, like my whole family extended my grandparents, 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:11.040 they've all gotten married honestly straight out of college. So 0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:16.440 and I have, um, I would say about sixty immediate 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:20.679 family sixty people in there, so I have, like, I 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:23.080 mean half of that is so it's like thirty cousins 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:27.120 who were married right out of college. And for me, 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:30.840 all my siblings met their person right out of college 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:34.240 and got married minus my brother, but he's also a man, 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:36.639 which is also annoying. They can get married way later 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:38.919 and have less stress on that, so he's kind of 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:42.199 the exception. But both my sisters found the person got 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.080 married out of college. My other sisters got pregnant at 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:47.919 twenty four, which is the same as my mom. So 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:51.159 it's like I don't know, like should I be there 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:52.880 because I don't want to be an old mom who 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:55.879 only has two kids. But at the same time, I 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:57.600 want to be able to focus on my job and 0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:01.639 my career. But then it's so are It's just like 0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:05.119 I just start spiraling a little bit because I just 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:06.960 don't know what the answer is because I know I 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:09.040 can't put pressure on it, and like, my body is 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:11.600 my body, and it's like all in God's timing if 0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:13.119 you want to say it that way. But at the 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:17.159 same time, I have to be realistic and knowing that 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:19.919 like my eggs literally do start dying now, and like 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:23.399 thirty five, you risk having health issues and your kids. 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.399 So and then if I want to be dating for 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:28.960 like a couple of years, I essentially need to start now, 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:32.560 and then we'd want to have kids by you, And 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:33.919 then it's like you still want to have the honeymoon 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:38.840 phase even when you're married and not have kids. I'm 0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:43.680 so glad to have another Worrior with me. Yeah, I'm 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:48.400 out numbered here with two warriors. Your eggs frozen. Now, 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:52.320 I know, it's crazy, it's crazy I'm just asking a question. 0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:54.320 It's not crazy. I don't think it's crazy at all. 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:58.359 You're young and healthy, Like, yeah, yeah, I mean, I 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:00.919 think that that's something that as crossed my mind just 0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:04.080 because I am very career driven and I don't want 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:08.399 to be in a position where I've put my career 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:12.000 four in the forefront so much that I've missed out 0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:13.880 on a lot of opportunities, which I think I'm kind 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:15.639 of feeling right now even though I'm only in my 0:20:15.680 --> 0:20:18.040 mid twenties and iself a lot more that I'm excited about. 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:20.080 I think that I take a lot of pride and 0:20:20.160 --> 0:20:23.440 joy and like my work, like that's what fulfills me. 0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:26.080 But at the same time, like I don't want that 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.119 to be the only thing in my life because I 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:30.480 don't want to make that like an idol, because there's 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:32.400 so many things that could happen, you know, pandemic kids, 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:34.720 you could be furloughed, you could lose your job, something 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:37.560 could happen, and you know, things just don't work out. 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:42.080 So it has been something that I've thought about and 0:20:42.119 --> 0:20:43.879 being like, hey, maybe when I'm like twenty eight, I 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:47.520 do it. Um Or you're just kind of almost like 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:49.439 you have those alliances, Like I literally an alliance with 0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:51.080 a friend where we're like, okay, we're both single at 0:20:51.119 --> 0:20:53.679 like forty or like thirty eight, let's just get married 0:20:53.680 --> 0:20:57.840 and have babies, you know. Like So I just I 0:20:57.920 --> 0:20:59.800 don't I don't know what the answer is for that 0:20:59.840 --> 0:21:02.240 way yet, because also it is very expensive and there 0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:04.840 are a lot of things to take an account for that, 0:21:04.960 --> 0:21:08.600 just like health risks and YadA YadA, which will just 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:12.240 make me spile more ryan um. But it is something 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:14.960 that I have thought about, not as seriously, but it 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:24.640 is something that I've thought about for my future. Tory, 0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:27.280 I gotta I got a real important question for you, 0:21:28.280 --> 0:21:31.240 and I call it truthfully, I call it my golden question. 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:34.359 Is what I asked myself, and it changes over time, 0:21:34.359 --> 0:21:37.000 but this is what I asked myself, Like literally every 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:41.200 single day of my life, are my daily actions congruent 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:45.359 with my life goals? Say one more time, are my 0:21:45.520 --> 0:21:50.240 daily actions congruent with my life goals? So by that, 0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:51.960 I mean if I want to be a hockey player, 0:21:52.119 --> 0:21:55.359 I can't be playing basketball every day. M hm. You 0:21:55.359 --> 0:21:56.920 know what I mean. If I want to be a 0:21:56.960 --> 0:22:01.280 family man, my heart's got to be there, not absent 0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:04.199 from birthdays and weddings and working all the time and 0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:08.720