Speaker 1: Hello, my bunnies, it's artist. Okay. Before we get to
Speaker 1: this week's episode, I just have to say, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you guys, thank you so much. First of all, for
Speaker 1: everybody who came to the live show, the one that
Speaker 1: was on Dynasty Typewriter. It was so fun Dynasty Typewriter,
Speaker 1: which is where we did our draft picks. And the
Speaker 1: only reason I don't think we're gonna do draft picks
Speaker 1: for the season is because we know who she picks
Speaker 1: and then we know that tis coming and we don't
Speaker 1: know her batch of guys, so, you know, is the
Speaker 1: upside down. All bets are off. But it's the same
Speaker 1: theater that we did it at, and I don't know
Speaker 1: if you guys watched it, I feel like a lot
Speaker 1: of you were there. Um, they do such a great
Speaker 1: job making you know, what is essentially for most people
Speaker 1: would be the equivalent of like a Zoom show. Actually,
Speaker 1: to me, I think I felt like I got to
Speaker 1: have a real life book launch. I feel like I
Speaker 1: was at a party with my friends. I felt excited
Speaker 1: that you guys were all there, and um, you know,
Speaker 1: I thought Lauren Lbkus was a delight. Brian Sofie, Debbie,
Speaker 1: Ryan Bachelor of the Yarra, Benedict, my brother, all of it.
Speaker 1: So it really meant so much to me. And but
Speaker 1: even bigger than that, just the support of everybody just
Speaker 1: through this whole book process. And I bet a lot
Speaker 1: of you have them in your hot little pause right now,
Speaker 1: and it just means so much to me. I mean truly,
Speaker 1: just through this whole journey, I have not felt alone,
Speaker 1: even though I have not left my garage. And I
Speaker 1: hope you all love it. Please email him let me
Speaker 1: know if you guys have finished it and you liked it.
Speaker 1: I feel free to leave a review on Amazon or
Speaker 1: good Reads. That's helpful. And I'm thinking, I mean, look,
Speaker 1: I'm such a psycho about COVID. I'm so afraid of it.
Speaker 1: I've really been socially distancing, but like I mean, I
Speaker 1: want I can't believe I can't go on tour. I
Speaker 1: can't believe I can't go meet every buddy. So my brain,
Speaker 1: you know, I was I've been trying to figure it out.
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's got to be away. There's gotta be
Speaker 1: a way, at least in the southern California area like
Speaker 1: that I could do a small mini little miss, little
Speaker 1: Compton outdoor book tour, Like there's gotta be a way
Speaker 1: that I could go to like indie bookstores during the day.
Speaker 1: Do you like in the parking lot signing socially distanced
Speaker 1: or like a I could park my freaking car, put
Speaker 1: a little table out you guys do like a drive
Speaker 1: by book signing and then maybe like do a show
Speaker 1: outside at night socially just I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know how that works. Um or do some reading. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I'm like, there's got to be away
Speaker 1: that I could a not get COVID, be not get
Speaker 1: and spread COVID. Like there's gotta be a way to
Speaker 1: do an outdoor book tour because it's killing me that
Speaker 1: I can't go see all of you. I don't know,
Speaker 1: or like anybody have like a nice driveway I can
Speaker 1: park in and we have we do a drive by
Speaker 1: thing like and like I do with drive by book signing,
Speaker 1: like that I park in your driveway and then performing
Speaker 1: year lawn doesn't really have any spacious law. Should we
Speaker 1: do five fans around southern California? Um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's just I'm just thinking out a lot. I'm spitballing guys.
Speaker 1: Another them an author another, I'm an authoress. This is
Speaker 1: exactly what John Grisham does. Um, so that's a number one,
Speaker 1: number two. Uh. Just because the books out doesn't mean
Speaker 1: I'm not going to still give away freaking T shirts
Speaker 1: or totes or cat puzzles. And again, if I've called
Speaker 1: out your name, when we've gotten a bunch of emails,
Speaker 1: and just when I call you out, does emailing and
Speaker 1: be like, girl, I want a T shirt? Da da
Speaker 1: da da, everybody's entered here I am. That's just sounding
Speaker 1: me going through the bag. I'm gonna go deep in.
Speaker 1: I'm going deep in. I'm doing give a give away
Speaker 1: three today. I'm gonna do And you just email me
Speaker 1: and you tell me girl. I want to tell girl,
Speaker 1: Katie Cat, I want a T shirt, my friend, I
Speaker 1: want a crazy cat puzzle. You tell me you're running
Speaker 1: low on cat puzzle. So if you want a cat puzzle,
Speaker 1: this is your chance. Obviously I'm running because they're fantastic.
Speaker 1: First winner is Kate little Broberg. You are the first
Speaker 1: winner of a tote or a puzzle or a T shirt.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what your journey is.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you want, Number chiw number chio.
Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go. Second person to get
Speaker 1: a pre order is oh, Kelly oh Rourke's friend Monica.
Speaker 1: So Kelly, you entered and your friend Monica is the
Speaker 1: one who won. So you tell me what Monica wants
Speaker 1: and tell me where to send it. Rose Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Third person and who won a total
Speaker 1: or a T shirt or a meet the author's puzzle
Speaker 1: as Catherine Oliver. All right, so that's Catherine Oliver, Katie
Speaker 1: little Broberg and Kelly all work. It's the K, It's
Speaker 1: the I will not they're all case. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say triple K because it's not something that I
Speaker 1: want to support. But I want to support these ladies
Speaker 1: and support Katie, Catherine and Kelly. So thank you again.
Speaker 1: Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. Email at me tell
Speaker 1: me what you want. Also, uh, we really appreciate you
Speaker 1: guys have been leaving your reviews and stuff, all of that,
Speaker 1: your reviews on iTunes. Here's we got a couple of
Speaker 1: great new ones this week. And I promised, I know
Speaker 1: you're like, girl, girl, girl, stop talking. Let me get
Speaker 1: to your episode. That's what's happening. But here's okay, here's
Speaker 1: a really fun one. And again again I asked and
Speaker 1: you delivered. You're like, I will give you what you want,
Speaker 1: my friend. Okay, this is from Ned Fletcher, five stars
Speaker 1: tool for your sanity. I have never watched the shows
Speaker 1: discussed by the hysterical host and her rotating panel of guests.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. Listen now for the ultimate escape from
Speaker 1: love you guys, Ned, Can I tell you You're not alone?
Speaker 1: We get emails, quite a few emails and from listeners
Speaker 1: who do not watch The Bachelor but have not missed
Speaker 1: a podcast, And can I tell you you guys all
Speaker 1: get special treasure Metal of Honors, and I'm fascinated by
Speaker 1: it and I love I love your lane of the Highway.
Speaker 1: I don't ever want you to watch an episode. I
Speaker 1: love that this is this is your podcast, and I'm
Speaker 1: I'm so thankful that we are of service to you
Speaker 1: and that you're a part of our journey. Like you
Speaker 1: are absolutely like front row members of the club. And
Speaker 1: that's the best thing is that I like to think
Speaker 1: visually you couldn't pick any of them out of a lineup.
Speaker 1: Someday when we do a live podcast again, I would
Speaker 1: love to flash have some of you guys, there put
Speaker 1: on screen like four people, one of whom has never
Speaker 1: actually been in the franchise, and have you guess, or
Speaker 1: maybe have three people not in the franchise one person
Speaker 1: in the franchise. I think that's how we do it,
Speaker 1: and then you have to guess which person on the
Speaker 1: screen was actually in the franchise. I think that's a
Speaker 1: really fun game for our listeners to listen and don't watch.
Speaker 1: Here's another here's another review that I loved five stars,
Speaker 1: five stars subject Feeling Thorny by A five one two. Y'all,
Speaker 1: this is the podcast. Now I sound like my my
Speaker 1: instatiable character Reginus and Claire. Y'all, this is the podcast.
Speaker 1: I'll listen to too many podcasts, ranging from true crime,
Speaker 1: self help, scripted dramas, but this is the one. I
Speaker 1: feel like artinism a friend and her honest and vulnerable. Oh,
Speaker 1: her honesty and vulnerability has helped me to open up
Speaker 1: to That's nice. I even subscribed to the Patreon episodes
Speaker 1: because I just can't get enough. Here's the thing, though,
Speaker 1: these Feelings Thorny podcasts have been amazing. I've been wanting
Speaker 1: to pre order Ardent's book for a while, but this
Speaker 1: put me over the edge love this comedy troupe. My
Speaker 1: good thank you A five one two. I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: for all of the wonderful responses we've gotten to these.
Speaker 1: And this is the last one that we have recorded
Speaker 1: right now, but we'll do more in the future. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, look, look, it's nice to like take a
Speaker 1: pause because guess what. In two weeks we're all getting
Speaker 1: back into that crazy hot tub filled with hairless people
Speaker 1: looking for love. But this time they're at the La
Speaker 1: Quinta Resort and it's a hundred and ninety degrees and
Speaker 1: it's like hairless horny stew and we're gonna watch them.
Speaker 1: And so this let's just keep it classy in honor
Speaker 1: of book release week. And you can get it, guys.
Speaker 1: I saw an Amazon right now. If you order it today,
Speaker 1: you can get it in the mail tomorrow. Um, here's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. It's nice to do. We're doing classy.
Speaker 1: So this this week's feeling thorny episode, which is our
Speaker 1: last one before they'll be a week off. So if
Speaker 1: you want to go to Patreon, if you're like I'm
Speaker 1: Jones and honey, go to Patreon. Some people have emailed
Speaker 1: in about the Bachelor archive, like, make sure you just
Speaker 1: create an account if you're going to go watch The
Speaker 1: Bachelor in New Zealand or any of the Australia episodes,
Speaker 1: which some of those are on HBO Max. But create
Speaker 1: an account. You said to make a password and then
Speaker 1: you get access. Okay, So this person some of our
Speaker 1: newer listeners who started during I Heart don't know this person,
Speaker 1: but this is o G. This was like my co
Speaker 1: host for the first year or two, um, and then
Speaker 1: she got a staff writing job on one day at
Speaker 1: a time. But she's gonna be with us in our
Speaker 1: premier episode coming up. It'll be up October with Paget
Speaker 1: Brewster and Rob Benedict. Aaron Foley is, for those of
Speaker 1: you who don't know, one of my favorite stand up comedians.
Speaker 1: She is such a smart joke writer. She's such a
Speaker 1: hard worker. She's such a fun person. We have laughed
Speaker 1: until tears have streamed on our faces. We're both from
Speaker 1: Rhode Island. She is such a good friend and I've
Speaker 1: just I really have always. I really respect and admire
Speaker 1: her as a creator, as a talent and just as
Speaker 1: a person. And she is so freaking funny. I mean,
Speaker 1: this woman is fun me and I'm so excited for
Speaker 1: our newer listeners to get to know her, so you'll
Speaker 1: know who's joining us on the premiere and for our
Speaker 1: o G people who've been with us through the whole thing. Guys,
Speaker 1: Aaron's back. Aaron's back, right, thank you, Pandemic. You brought
Speaker 1: me Aaron. So um, all right, that's it. We're not
Speaker 1: going to be here next week. I'm gonna miss you, guys,
Speaker 1: and I really really really appreciate again, like honest, like
Speaker 1: all of you showing up the support. I want to
Speaker 1: hear what you thought of the book. I really want
Speaker 1: to hear. And that's partially what I want to go
Speaker 1: on torqu because I want to also be able to
Speaker 1: do readings and talk to you guys and have you
Speaker 1: guys asked questions like I want to do stuff and
Speaker 1: be near you, and I want to figure out a
Speaker 1: way to do it socially distanced outside because I am
Speaker 1: a psychopath, and I promise you I will be an
Speaker 1: eighteen mass and probably some weird advisor and gloves and
Speaker 1: and a licel bubble. All right, enough of me, blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. Here is without further ado my friend arent
Speaker 1: fully Bye, see you in October. Welcome to will you
Speaker 1: accept this Rose? A production of I Heart Radio? Are You? Randy?
Speaker 1: Teams are so good, ranting, thank you, thank you, reach
Speaker 1: super you know what? I just no I that, which
Speaker 1: means still is there another easy? That's not just a
Speaker 1: fun rod. We're not fully in the mood yet. Get ready,
Speaker 1: get ready, I can't wait. I'm getting you know what
Speaker 1: time it is. It's time for hard to get a
Speaker 1: little close and a little thorny. Who well's gonna go
Speaker 1: one on one. I'm gonna be high energy fon convos
Speaker 1: are gonna be super real. She wants to get with
Speaker 1: you and all the fields you feeling whoa feeling thol me,
Speaker 1: We're Marie. I'm like, can you handle that? Hi? Welcome
Speaker 1: to a very special feeling Thorny with art Marine, a
Speaker 1: little offshoot of We Except this Road. My name is
Speaker 1: Art Marine and it's a rainy day here in the clubhouse,
Speaker 1: and I am here with somebody. I'm so excited to
Speaker 1: be sitting with im. She's a virgo. So we're organizing
Speaker 1: our corpse, and um, I missed her so much. She
Speaker 1: looks great. She's got a nice cowl neck on. She's
Speaker 1: got the bone structure. She talks about somebody else's bones structure.
Speaker 1: Let me say, we need to talk about Paget's bone structure.
Speaker 1: You're eliminating the fact that all you need to do
Speaker 1: is look right in the mirror. My friend, ladies, my
Speaker 1: platonic life partner, Eric Fallen, I've missed you so much,
Speaker 1: and I got it. We've missed you and we're here,
Speaker 1: of course with Tanna and Katie. I don't know why
Speaker 1: Anna just drink, but something happened hot hot slow on
Speaker 1: the notes. So it's not so because I'm so a
Speaker 1: d d um Aaron Folly. First of all, I've missed you.
Speaker 1: Congratulate for those of you out there who don't know.
Speaker 1: Aaron Foley is now a staff writer on One Day
Speaker 1: at a Time One Again. Well, Gloria Stephen did the
Speaker 1: reboot of it and it's awesome. What was the original one?
Speaker 1: That's all I know. I want you to know that
Speaker 1: for this reboot I went into audition to play the
Speaker 1: part of Schneider. No did I read that with you?
Speaker 1: Did I run it with you? No? You never told
Speaker 1: me that I went in. We ran. I ran with
Speaker 1: Jordan's they I got the sides, and I was like,
Speaker 1: surely there's been missed for those kids, kids, children out
Speaker 1: there listening. Back in the day, there was a show,
Speaker 1: an original version of One Day at a Time. There
Speaker 1: was this gentleman named Schneider who were like a denim jeans,
Speaker 1: denim vest. He always had like a like a Burt
Speaker 1: Reynolds mustache and like a cigarette rolled into his sleeves
Speaker 1: and uh, I'm so sorry, I can't hand a hand
Speaker 1: the handyman and um and like. But he was like
Speaker 1: the epitome of masculinity. And I was like, why would
Speaker 1: you pass? Why why? Obviously I'm not going to book this,
Speaker 1: and they're like, well, we might go another way. And
Speaker 1: then I had to go in an audition to play
Speaker 1: Schneider and like, of course they cast a man. Well,
Speaker 1: I think I can't speak for them because I would
Speaker 1: have cast you as the anybody thank you? Um uh.
Speaker 1: But the whole it was such a you know, hard
Speaker 1: right reboot that I think they were. You know, it
Speaker 1: went from you know, white people in the Midwest to
Speaker 1: a Cuban American family network park. So I think they
Speaker 1: were just trying to turn everything on its head. But
Speaker 1: it's Uh, it's been a dream and I'm gonna try
Speaker 1: to now right anything I can to get art and
Speaker 1: Marine on the show. Oh my god, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I could play Schnider's like his twin his speaking of twins,
Speaker 1: and we'll get so. For those of you who are like,
Speaker 1: why why are we doing this? Why why a side
Speaker 1: offshoot podcast art and why? Like, first of all, I
Speaker 1: like getting to know my friends more like I like,
Speaker 1: it's very rare in this day. It's very easy just
Speaker 1: to get hang and joke around, and like you get
Speaker 1: to know people as you go, but it's it's very
Speaker 1: rare that you get to sit and really have a
Speaker 1: one on one interview with somebody. And this is leading
Speaker 1: up to and you've been so supportive, but this is
Speaker 1: leading up to the launch of my book. So excited,
Speaker 1: so excited called little Miss Little Compton and you can
Speaker 1: preorder it now on Amazon. And I'm begging you, please
Speaker 1: preorder it now, and and you're like, maybe I'll do
Speaker 1: that next week, Like, do it now, people, she wrote
Speaker 1: a book, wrote a book, and and like, think of
Speaker 1: it as like a present for your future self because
Speaker 1: you buy you order it now and then when it arrives,
Speaker 1: you can be like, oh my god, right, I ordered this.
Speaker 1: You bring into any show that I'm at, I will
Speaker 1: sign it for you, Like truly, I am so grateful
Speaker 1: that you guys are buying it. Apparently my dream is
Speaker 1: to get on the best seller list, and apparently you
Speaker 1: need to sell eight thousand copies. I will rob a
Speaker 1: bank and buy eight Oh my god, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I am. I am. I've always wanted to rob a
Speaker 1: bank safely. You know what. You've talked about that a
Speaker 1: lot in your stand up. Well, here's so. Writing the
Speaker 1: book it was an interesting thing too, because I so
Speaker 1: I don't like normally to sit around think deep diving
Speaker 1: thinking about like childhood in school and family and stuff
Speaker 1: like that and like, but it was an interesting process,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm fascinated by how all my funny
Speaker 1: friends came to be you aliens, straight up aliens. They
Speaker 1: came down right before I met. I am obsessed with
Speaker 1: your mom the best show. She doing good. No, we've
Speaker 1: moved them to Texas. Happened, Yes, that happened a couple
Speaker 1: of months ago. For those people out there listening, tell
Speaker 1: us a little bit about your mom. Well, I always
Speaker 1: put them together barring Dick Foley. But Mary in particular
Speaker 1: is Mary Agnes Kathleen Foley's Irish name I've ever heard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't get more Irish than that. I sometimes when
Speaker 1: I say her full name, I used to put her
Speaker 1: maiden name in and then what was it? Oh? I
Speaker 1: can't say because she heard me say it one time,
Speaker 1: just like in passing, and she's like, people can then
Speaker 1: figure out and then take my money. And I was like, okay, sure.
Speaker 1: I mean if somebody's coming out a bachelor podcast to
Speaker 1: take your mom's money, right, they really want It made
Speaker 1: me laugh so hard. But now I dropped the her
Speaker 1: maiden name for security purposes and a dollar okay, great? Um? Yeah? OK? Anyway,
Speaker 1: did you um how much of your childhood I grew
Speaker 1: up in Rhode Island. It's a lot of the book
Speaker 1: is about that. How much? How much of your childhood
Speaker 1: was in Rhode Island? Move? We moved there right before
Speaker 1: my twelfth birthday, so right before seventh grade. From where
Speaker 1: we went from New York to Connecticut to Rhode Island.
Speaker 1: First question, new York City, Uh, Nope, not New York City.
Speaker 1: I was born in Long Island. Dad is Brooklyn mom's
Speaker 1: Long Island. They met in Manhattan, lived in Manhattan for
Speaker 1: a while. Then she was like, I'm gonna get I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have a baby. And then they moved back to
Speaker 1: Long Island because by that time my dad was like
Speaker 1: that very kind of famous merge of Long our Brooklyn
Speaker 1: people into Long Island, um whatever, families pricing neighborhood stuff.
Speaker 1: So there was kind of a big exodus and uh so, yeah,
Speaker 1: so they moved back to Long Island. Was born Long
Speaker 1: Island until four eight nine years in Kinnectic Hit then
Speaker 1: Rhode Island. But Rhode Island it's the best, right, It's
Speaker 1: the funniest state. So you were there watching patrise Woods,
Speaker 1: you were watching Mario Hilario on the local news. You
Speaker 1: were there. You were there during the Seancy the Great.
Speaker 1: I talked about him in the book The Greatest Mayor
Speaker 1: of Problem. He was a convicted felon, got out and
Speaker 1: got re elected, got stuff done, dead bodies everywhere. He
Speaker 1: had his He had off duty police officer drive him
Speaker 1: over to his girlfriend lover's house and he beat him
Speaker 1: up with a fireplace and iron and put a cigar
Speaker 1: out on his dick. Yeah, that's what I'm talking okay, Um,
Speaker 1: And then you were also there probably the Sonny von Buelo,
Speaker 1: the von Buelo, remember that was all in the news
Speaker 1: coma that that the all the coma and all the
Speaker 1: uh you know, great Gatsby being filled in the Newport mansions.
Speaker 1: We almost got to have they were they were trying
Speaker 1: to get Um, which is of Eastwick each a little compton,
Speaker 1: and I was like this, I'm going to get discovered.
Speaker 1: And then the group the church women were like, no,
Speaker 1: there's sex scenes in the church, and so the Puritanical
Speaker 1: they shut it down and went out to Cohasset, mass
Speaker 1: And I was so I had such a grudge at
Speaker 1: Cohasset like for like fifteen years that like my chance
Speaker 1: was lost to like get to hang out with Share
Speaker 1: and Jack Nicholson is an awkward eleven year old. That
Speaker 1: was my time. Well it's still I mean right now
Speaker 1: to hang out with both of them right now. Right
Speaker 1: she looks amazing. I saw her on Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 1: But okay, so you grew up in Rhode Island. How
Speaker 1: was moving there in junior high because that's kind of
Speaker 1: a that's a tough state. Did you go to public school? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we went to UM. It was a real battle between
Speaker 1: Mary and Dick because and this is I just like
Speaker 1: to preface this next sentences. I did not know I
Speaker 1: was gay, Okay, But when we moved in seventh grade,
Speaker 1: I my mom scattered out the best public school district,
Speaker 1: and that was South Kingstown. South Kingstown Public High School
Speaker 1: was a great high school, and the neighboring one was Narragansett.
Speaker 1: I wanted to go to Narragansett because it had fast
Speaker 1: pitch softball. Again, not gay, So I was pleading the case.
Speaker 1: My dad and I were like, it's fast pitch. It's
Speaker 1: fast pitch, better school, academically, one of the best in
Speaker 1: the state. Slow pitch so boring. Right, You're like, I
Speaker 1: want fast pitch, mom. One, clearly we went with academics.
Speaker 1: Do you think he would have come out early shattered
Speaker 1: my softball? Would you have come out earlier if you?
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I definitely slow pitch for another
Speaker 1: six years. Right, Still had no idea, But I mean,
Speaker 1: that's super gay. Did you have a bay friend in
Speaker 1: high school? Oh my god, hold on, something's coming up
Speaker 1: as a feeling. No, I did the thing where I
Speaker 1: pined after a dude, and then as soon as you
Speaker 1: like me, I was like, no, get away. I did that,
Speaker 1: Like I did that for a long I was kind
Speaker 1: of like that, yeah, but I was gay rights. I
Speaker 1: think I also just had to touch low self esteem.
Speaker 1: I had a terrible dad, so I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: a monster. You can't see behind the valley. I'm only
Speaker 1: fun at a party. And then you get to know me,
Speaker 1: and I'm the worst of a garbage everybody knows it. Well,
Speaker 1: that's not even remotely true. No, no, now, I know that.
Speaker 1: I know that now, but at the time, I was
Speaker 1: like the stay away, I'm the worst. No, you have
Speaker 1: a little Compton. I didn't have a high school, so
Speaker 1: we had I went to the public school in town
Speaker 1: for grammar school, and then there were the high school
Speaker 1: was Middletown, which was like an hour commune over the bridge,
Speaker 1: over the bridge, and it was like it was like
Speaker 1: got like a one star in academics, and so my
Speaker 1: mom was like, I don't. She was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: she had a bad education. She was from Long Island.
Speaker 1: She went to Bayside High and she was like, I
Speaker 1: didn't get an education, so I'm gonna she goes I
Speaker 1: in my mind. High school it's where your brain is malleable.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm going to run out of money for
Speaker 1: your college, but I'm going to send you to the
Speaker 1: best high school, like in sent you to. And she
Speaker 1: sent me and she took like a third mortgage out
Speaker 1: and like sent me to boarding school where middle it's
Speaker 1: in Concord, Massachusetts, Middlesex School, which is super preppy, but
Speaker 1: it was it was great because no everyone was off
Speaker 1: playing lacrosse, which I wasn't, but no one was in
Speaker 1: this beautiful theater and no one was interested in it.
Speaker 1: So I got to like write plays because they weren't
Speaker 1: my people, but like the beauty of that was I
Speaker 1: had access to this facility and I got to like
Speaker 1: basically go to college at fourteen. Wait, did you know
Speaker 1: that you wanted to perform and write? That? From from
Speaker 1: a little baby art and like four and five year
Speaker 1: old art. And there was a girl in in kindergarten
Speaker 1: that moved down the street who was from New York.
Speaker 1: And I actually talked about this in the book, like
Speaker 1: I call her a different name in this in the book,
Speaker 1: but her name was Courtney, and she moved down the street,
Speaker 1: like and she lived in New York and she had
Speaker 1: a commercial agent and she'd been in like a serial
Speaker 1: commercial and I remember just like grilling her about it
Speaker 1: and being so jealous and like sending my parents on
Speaker 1: I mean, like you're holding back my career, like no,
Speaker 1: we gotta move. Now, change my diaper, get me out there.
Speaker 1: And then my mom was like, I'm not moving to
Speaker 1: New York for a five year old, and so she
Speaker 1: was like, as soon as you can like live and
Speaker 1: not get like kidnapped, you can go be my cash
Speaker 1: cow and like take care of me. This is fascinating.
Speaker 1: This is why this is such a good idea to
Speaker 1: do this, because we've been friends forever, but it's so
Speaker 1: you know, we're always like we're doing this project. You know,
Speaker 1: it's interesting. And I could get dropped off in the
Speaker 1: middle of like the desert and then would be like, hey,
Speaker 1: we've got a dance party at one Bottle of Water,
Speaker 1: but like it's nice to actually have a chat, share
Speaker 1: some I love you so much. I just want to like,
Speaker 1: I just love you so much. I never tired of you,
Speaker 1: I never not I always want to be like I
Speaker 1: always want to be around you, know, like you you
Speaker 1: make me crazy. You make myself crazy in a way
Speaker 1: that's like I don't care how tired I am. If
Speaker 1: you're like I'm going dancing, it's like, well, obviously I'm
Speaker 1: coming with you. Like I don't hear where we are.
Speaker 1: Obviously it's hard to meet. It's hard to meet those
Speaker 1: people as adults, you know what I mean? Like even
Speaker 1: when I don't know throughout the years, something something in Megan,
Speaker 1: my twin, she always like, you know, I'm always like
Speaker 1: I'm doing this or doing that, but I always like
Speaker 1: when I talk about you, she goes like my face
Speaker 1: goes up and go oh art and she goes, oh
Speaker 1: are like when she was when she first started hearing
Speaker 1: about you, and she's like, oh, your fun friend. The
Speaker 1: fund is similar. There is something there's like a beauty
Speaker 1: you meet and Lisa d Larus are the all the
Speaker 1: exact same age of her, and I never see her
Speaker 1: at the dance party on Saturday. I'm in l A.
Speaker 1: I have a life and now I can actually start
Speaker 1: like taking care of more friendships. Yes, so hard, this
Speaker 1: stand up life is it just feels like I have
Speaker 1: I'm like a chitty friend. I'm never home. My back
Speaker 1: goes like that we're gonna go all over the place,
Speaker 1: and I want to start with this now like you've been,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna come back to the high school stuff
Speaker 1: like you have been. You're one of my favorite comedians. Um.
Speaker 1: I respect how hard you work at it. I respect
Speaker 1: your work ethic with your jokes. And for those of
Speaker 1: you out there, She's got all sorts of albums you
Speaker 1: can order and buy Deep Dive, that's the latest. But
Speaker 1: she I think you're such a talented stand up and
Speaker 1: but you have been on the road consistently how many years? Um?
Speaker 1: I would say consistently? Probably eight? That's hard. Eight, I
Speaker 1: would say eight. Uh, actually maybe probably. I mean I've
Speaker 1: been doing stand up almost twenty Yeah, so I guess
Speaker 1: maybe like nine maybe nine, Like like I've always made
Speaker 1: it a living, but it's like been stand up, some
Speaker 1: commercial stuff, some writings whatever, but then stand up like
Speaker 1: on the road, stand up supporting. Um. Yeah, because I've
Speaker 1: been in l A twelve and it was the first
Speaker 1: couple of years trying to figure that out. So I
Speaker 1: would say like nine or ten consistently. When you were like,
Speaker 1: I want to do this for a living? Was the dream? Like?
Speaker 1: Was the dream? Specifically? I want to be a stand up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I I've always wanted to do stand up
Speaker 1: because I mean, when I got into it, it wasn't
Speaker 1: when I was in New York City. It wasn't like,
Speaker 1: and I'm not this isn't a shot on anyone that's
Speaker 1: doing standford. You could do stand for whatever reason you want,
Speaker 1: But in New York when you started stand up, as
Speaker 1: you know, like you were a stand up and you
Speaker 1: wanted to be a stand up, I had no acting background.
Speaker 1: I didn't I've never to this day wanted to be
Speaker 1: in front of a camera acting. Ever, every when people
Speaker 1: are shoving me out the door with auditions, I'm like,
Speaker 1: fucking kill me. So it's interesting. So I just started
Speaker 1: doing stand up to do stand up, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden I just kept going and and I've
Speaker 1: but the life around it has been difficult. That the
Speaker 1: stand up has always been fantastic. But my favorite stand
Speaker 1: up hard my favorite stand ups. I think that purely
Speaker 1: that was the main goal was to be just like
Speaker 1: because some you know, like I think the best stand
Speaker 1: ups like that was the dream was to most like
Speaker 1: the actual stand up part was that's what they wanted
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, and I think I think that the
Speaker 1: I'll always love and probably go back to, like the
Speaker 1: purity of stand up, of just doing stand up. But
Speaker 1: I can't. I could not. The last couple of years
Speaker 1: broke me as like a human. And that's when I
Speaker 1: was about, can't sustain this, the travel because it's hard,
Speaker 1: travel harder, and the money and then and not making
Speaker 1: it up. It feels like it's harder and harder unless
Speaker 1: you're at a certain like unless you have certain credits.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if this has changed. I don't know,
Speaker 1: this is it's always been like this, but it feels
Speaker 1: like that's sort of like that. It's hard to make
Speaker 1: to put any money away, even as a headliner, unless
Speaker 1: you have certain like it's very very difficult. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what, And this isn't like woe was me in
Speaker 1: any any way. I chose all these steps. But what
Speaker 1: you have for stand up such a clear path of Um,
Speaker 1: I've attained all my goals, you know, headlining of theaters,
Speaker 1: conent like you half hours, like it's albums like, it's
Speaker 1: all very extremely successful. However, what you have to pair
Speaker 1: it with his television right, so and and in the
Speaker 1: in the people, let's just say let's just say, uh,
Speaker 1: successful stand ups. Um, if you're how are people supposed
Speaker 1: to discover you unless you're literally at that club year
Speaker 1: after year after year if you're not on TV. So
Speaker 1: I totally get that formula. But I never could fit
Speaker 1: into that formula. So the writing was on the wall.
Speaker 1: Maybe five or six years ago. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: if I don't want to be an actor, like, it's
Speaker 1: just gonna be me the money caps at a certain level,
Speaker 1: this is going to be my life. And that that
Speaker 1: never made me happy enough. So I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: how am I going to figure out this? And that's
Speaker 1: when I was like, okay, it's got to be with writing. Well,
Speaker 1: and I remember that's when we started doing our writer's
Speaker 1: group and um, and I can't tell you when I
Speaker 1: saw that you I know how hard you've worked on
Speaker 1: your scripts, and when I saw that you were because
Speaker 1: I know you've been staffed on pilots and stuff, like
Speaker 1: when I saw that you were fully staffed on one
Speaker 1: day at a time, I was so happy for you
Speaker 1: because I feel like you've crossed, like you've already had
Speaker 1: enough bites and like you clearly have. You'd be such
Speaker 1: an asset in any room, and like now you've been vetted,
Speaker 1: and like I'm so happy that I know this has
Speaker 1: been your goal and that it will be fun for
Speaker 1: you and it's more stability and like that's awesome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know how it is. It's like you have
Speaker 1: to do like so many different jobs. So like when
Speaker 1: I by the way listeners are and had a writing
Speaker 1: group because she's a fantastic writer. So by the book
Speaker 1: immediately you can please by the book and thank you
Speaker 1: so much for buying the book. Oh my god, that's cool.
Speaker 1: They're both a Brian in Ohio Susan. Then how are
Speaker 1: you better for your sister and for your mom? You
Speaker 1: Baker keep car and Tampa. Thank you. I love your
Speaker 1: new tan and I appreciate it. Mary Folly trying to
Speaker 1: figure out where pauses and then asking someone to get
Speaker 1: the computer on to buy the phone up for you.
Speaker 1: Elephant Tits in Milwaukee, Wiscontin. First of all, you look great.
Speaker 1: I support your name change and I appreciate thank you.
Speaker 1: I think they really needed it. Thank you. The phones
Speaker 1: are lighting lighting up. You guys changed my light. Um, okay,
Speaker 1: so you're writing group, Yes, I say the arden. I wanna,
Speaker 1: you know, start writing. I did punch up on a
Speaker 1: on a bunch of shows through other comics. Join your
Speaker 1: writing group, and the greatest about the writing group is
Speaker 1: I met Jordan's Jordan's Jordan took a pitch out last year.
Speaker 1: It was like this safe, wonderful space. But you're like,
Speaker 1: I don't know this. I don't know. Like you can try,
Speaker 1: you know, you can try your jokes and if they
Speaker 1: go off, you go, Okay, that wasn't funny. But how
Speaker 1: do you know with the writing? Dude? How about the
Speaker 1: book did you have? Did you send Piano read it?
Speaker 1: Anna did my millennial past to make sure I didn't
Speaker 1: write anything offensive. Um, my friend Lisa read it. Um,
Speaker 1: I ran some. I ran particularly it's weird is an
Speaker 1: interesting thing? And then this is going to sound. When
Speaker 1: I wrote the proposal, my mom was alive and the
Speaker 1: deal closed on the day of her funeral. I got
Speaker 1: the email. They were like, I hope you're having a
Speaker 1: great week, like you know so truly too in a
Speaker 1: weird way, right this book, no one's alive, but I'm
Speaker 1: nervous for my brother to read it. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: lie like like there's a weird but you do like
Speaker 1: there's a weird freedom in that, like like and yet
Speaker 1: and it turned a lot of it is sort of
Speaker 1: a tribute book. I think to my mom, Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like a tribute. It's like a tribute. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: she's in it much more than she would have been
Speaker 1: like in that I had. I've had like an insane
Speaker 1: amount of people email me funny stories about her, And
Speaker 1: I think I didn't realize what a unique I just
Speaker 1: thought everybody's mom was like that. Like I didn't know
Speaker 1: that I had like sort of a different mom, and
Speaker 1: so I think it actually completely changed the book. But
Speaker 1: like that's kind of that's wonders. I actually do think
Speaker 1: the timing of it is amazing, Like it's a different
Speaker 1: book and like, but it's picking and choosing who to
Speaker 1: show it to so that you are like making sure
Speaker 1: you there's an editor that's helping me, you know what,
Speaker 1: the publishing company, but like, um, he has an interesting
Speaker 1: thing of like showing you to enough people that you're
Speaker 1: getting outside eyes, but not so many that like to
Speaker 1: eighteen people, they are going to give you eighteen different opinions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you really have to trust. So it's it's like more
Speaker 1: of a one on one relationship with your editor in
Speaker 1: a way, in a way yeah. And then of course,
Speaker 1: you know, I was like people, when I if I
Speaker 1: do stand up stuff, Someone's like, oh, do you go
Speaker 1: through your your manager who I love? But I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I go through my funny friends. Oh god, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's an interesting I've had my friend Jacob, I read
Speaker 1: it through twice with we read it out loud just
Speaker 1: to hear it, and like, I would recommend reading it
Speaker 1: out loud twice. Reading it out loud really was very helpful. Awful,
Speaker 1: you know, but helpful. Did you when you read it
Speaker 1: out loud? Did you try different accents? I did? I
Speaker 1: was like, I am in did Cometon Road Island. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: nice to look like Bob from strange thing, you know,
Speaker 1: like that, Hello, come from little company as your mother
Speaker 1: who fed it? Hey? Then about the New York City
Speaker 1: and I lived in because this closet. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's good. I was wondering if that's how
Speaker 1: I can't wait to record a book on tape. I
Speaker 1: was like, no, that's how I speaking. I like that. Hello,
Speaker 1: my butter boo. I don't know about you, but things
Speaker 1: are getting so hot in you I think I gotta
Speaker 1: take I'll pe your break question. Who are your comedy
Speaker 1: idols growing up? Who are you? Who are your influence?
Speaker 1: Who are your like little north Star lighthouses in the
Speaker 1: out there? Um? Well, I think Pre not knowing that
Speaker 1: any of this was going to happen because I was
Speaker 1: just you know, a sports crazy person. I never performed.
Speaker 1: What did you think you were going to be? What
Speaker 1: did you want to be? Um? I just thought I
Speaker 1: would teach because I loved school and I everybody in
Speaker 1: my family teaches basically, So I was like, what did
Speaker 1: you need? Going American Studies which I loved, and I
Speaker 1: thought I'll do that. I like standing in front of people,
Speaker 1: and I like reading. I mean a great teacher. So
Speaker 1: I don't know. And then I and then I moved
Speaker 1: to Manhattan, and I was you know, I just was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll just like lounk around for a bit before I
Speaker 1: go to grad school. And then you know, I'm in
Speaker 1: your house. Okaya moved to Manhattan? And what happened? And
Speaker 1: had that happened? What happened? Well, Pre, I'll just say
Speaker 1: the only like influence was it was just it was
Speaker 1: my parents were so funny and they watched UM. You know,
Speaker 1: as as a family, we watched Carol Burnett Show. We
Speaker 1: were obsessed, and my dad loved UM Laurel and Hardy
Speaker 1: and we will watch Laurel and Hardy and try to
Speaker 1: get out of Sunday mass all the time. So we
Speaker 1: watched that. I watched a lot with my dad. But
Speaker 1: then when I was probably college years late, high school
Speaker 1: college years, my mom and I would watch every Woody
Speaker 1: Allen movie to the state. Now I know I problematic,
Speaker 1: but I watched him his movies are I watched him
Speaker 1: and my brother. It was nice having an older brothers
Speaker 1: Monty Python, and we watched all the Steve Martin movie. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so mel Brooks, mel Brooks, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like so Airplane, I've seen Airplane seven. You know my parents,
Speaker 1: Like I watched Airplane with my mean I always I
Speaker 1: do think having a funny family helps. My family was funny, well,
Speaker 1: of course, I mean, I can't. And the good thing
Speaker 1: about my parents too, is like they weren't like stage
Speaker 1: funny like I had no there was no perform like
Speaker 1: they were just like my dad in particulars He's seriously
Speaker 1: one of the funniest, Like that's my brother, he I
Speaker 1: think I told this, but to this day, I mean,
Speaker 1: he's like, it's it's not everybody goes, you know whatever.
Speaker 1: He's very sick, and he's the last time when we
Speaker 1: were in the hospital, he's in his little gown and
Speaker 1: he's you know, it's so hard to obviously stop through.
Speaker 1: So the doctor goes, you know, through this checklist and
Speaker 1: I'm standing right next to him trying to like grab
Speaker 1: my leg to not to be strong, and he's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: do you have this? Do you have this? And he's
Speaker 1: like do you have doctor goes do you have a
Speaker 1: hearing aid? And my dad goes what? And I literally
Speaker 1: like I'm about to like laugh so fucking because it's
Speaker 1: my favorite, Like I get I get my sister in
Speaker 1: my partner on what four times a day, And the
Speaker 1: doctor goes, um, do you have a hearing aid? And
Speaker 1: I was like, my dad goes what like and I
Speaker 1: just I was like, you know, he's like eighties, he's
Speaker 1: got a little cancer, a little girl like thing on
Speaker 1: and I am fucking losing My d and I were
Speaker 1: looking at each other like who the hell is that's
Speaker 1: I mean, you know till his to the day, he
Speaker 1: moment he dies, he's gonna be fucking hilarious. That is truly,
Speaker 1: that's the and there is I like there is even
Speaker 1: a gallows humor. I would say, like even my mom's
Speaker 1: funeral weekend, like the worst fucking thing had just like
Speaker 1: and my brother and I it was we would alternate
Speaker 1: between crying to heart and then laughing like because it's
Speaker 1: so when we went to because we didn't go to
Speaker 1: church and there's no place to hold the funeral and
Speaker 1: me to go beg the church to let us hold
Speaker 1: there's no there's no public places in Little Content and
Speaker 1: in March is too cold to do it outside there
Speaker 1: was nowhere to hold it. So we had to beg
Speaker 1: to get let into the church and they were like okay.
Speaker 1: And then when I was like can we play music,
Speaker 1: They're like, of course, you can't play music. I was like,
Speaker 1: can we play the single Ladies? But Beyonce is her
Speaker 1: favorite song? And then my brother and like my brother
Speaker 1: Believe was like I'm no, no, you can't play that,
Speaker 1: and like my brother and I were fucking dying after
Speaker 1: like that, like we were we were laughing so hard
Speaker 1: my mind, it seemed like a reasonable request, like like
Speaker 1: we were dying, you know, and you're like just sitting
Speaker 1: there because you're like crazy. But there is something about
Speaker 1: we will build the city. I've gone lady, Okay, some question.
Speaker 1: Do you think having a being a twin has made
Speaker 1: you funnier? I find twins fascinating. I think my twin,
Speaker 1: you know, I know, I have like a bigger personality.
Speaker 1: She's quieter, but she makes me laugh so hard. Um,
Speaker 1: and she just and sometimes I don't expect it, but
Speaker 1: I honestly think she's one of the funniest people I've
Speaker 1: ever met my life. So I don't know, probably she's
Speaker 1: made me funnier because I just but I think you
Speaker 1: talk about being a twin in your stand up ever rarely.
Speaker 1: I mean sometimes if twin language we have, we have. Um.
Speaker 1: I think we have like a like a lot of
Speaker 1: hands signal. I'm kidding. UM, we can stab your twin
Speaker 1: in the leg? Are you feeling you know what? We should?
Speaker 1: Totally we should. Let's wait. There's a garden hose right
Speaker 1: there trying to strangle I see if she sounds great,
Speaker 1: text R give her my number, text her, give me
Speaker 1: my number. Stand by you and I see how you
Speaker 1: are you driving? See how you're breathing. Yeah, are you now?
Speaker 1: Tell me if you feel like you're gonna be underwater
Speaker 1: in the next thirty seconds. What did you when you
Speaker 1: moved to New York? How did you pay your rent?
Speaker 1: And what was the first time you did stand up? Um?
Speaker 1: When I moved to New York City, I moved in
Speaker 1: with both my sisters, Terren Meeks, and I thought I
Speaker 1: was getting a like sharing a bedroom with Megan, but
Speaker 1: they had taken in a straggler, Chris for a couple
Speaker 1: of months before we all realized he was doing blow
Speaker 1: like I think in our bathroom. In anyway, Love, it
Speaker 1: was New York City, it was a different time. Um,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of blow around that I remember.
Speaker 1: There was a club called Coke's in Brooklet. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: lived the only drug I've never I haven't done. I've
Speaker 1: never done cokey there, but I saw and Andy Dick
Speaker 1: showed me coke and I was like, that feels appropriate,
Speaker 1: that's like perfect kicker bell, that's right, I feel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been in parties where I'm passing plates of coke.
Speaker 1: But it was the Lenn Bias Boston Celtics first round
Speaker 1: draft pick. Anyway, I never did that's the thing. It's
Speaker 1: like people like, okay, you as advertised, you're gonna show
Speaker 1: me coke. Okay, um, and I just passed me coke
Speaker 1: cocaine kick kickaine coffee. What do the young people say?
Speaker 1: What powder of dreams? Powd of dreams? I'm not young?
Speaker 1: The white candy. So I lived in Cornelia Street between
Speaker 1: a fourth and Bleaker in Greatest Block, in an illegal
Speaker 1: sublet where I had a mattress and I push it
Speaker 1: under the dining room slash living room table at night
Speaker 1: and sleep under the table and single tress for the
Speaker 1: first four months. I was twenty two, having the time
Speaker 1: of my life. That's the thing. I slept on a
Speaker 1: mattress underneath the dining room table. Mattress, beautiful mattre. I
Speaker 1: slided it, which is under then we'd slide the table
Speaker 1: out and then slide the table back. The four of
Speaker 1: you in a one bedroom, four of us in a
Speaker 1: in a two bedroom. It was kind of a glorified
Speaker 1: one bedroom with like a crappy wall. Yeah. Then Tara
Speaker 1: took the went to the summer she um theater by
Speaker 1: the Sea Tunic Maternic. That summer she was at grad school.
Speaker 1: She had the summer off, She's like, get me out
Speaker 1: of Manhattan. Bartended at Theater by the Sea. I got
Speaker 1: her bedroom. Okay. Uh waited tables. I waited tables. That's
Speaker 1: where I made a living where that's hard. I waited
Speaker 1: tables too. Is the world waiting tables hard? The great
Speaker 1: thing is I had some crappy jobs, but then I
Speaker 1: got into the Ark restaurants. So I worked at Ernie's
Speaker 1: and that was kind of changed my life because that's
Speaker 1: where I met s the Corey when she started dating
Speaker 1: town Papa. I just did his radio show with Fortune. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's such a great show. Um, so that was I
Speaker 1: got insurance. I worked there for four years. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: it was Ark Restaurants and they had it was like
Speaker 1: corporate amy, but the restaurant wasn't that corporate. It was
Speaker 1: all like m f A grad people from Yale. They'd
Speaker 1: like sing and dance on the shifts. It was the
Speaker 1: greatest job ever. I had a blast. And then Stand
Speaker 1: Up New York I was right there, that's right. I
Speaker 1: think that's the first. I think Boston Comedy Club is
Speaker 1: the first placed up. Oh my god, I I was.
Speaker 1: I don't know how we didn't overlap I might have
Speaker 1: been stand up New York, but I didn't met with
Speaker 1: Carrie Hoffman. That's that's him, that's stand up New York.
Speaker 1: I lived right up near there. I lived on Columbus,
Speaker 1: So the restaurant was seventy ninths between seventy ninth and
Speaker 1: eightieth on Broadway. Cynthia was doing stand up at the time,
Speaker 1: and I would be on the shift and if I couldn't,
Speaker 1: if I had a spa, I would run in my uniform,
Speaker 1: I take my apron off, do a set. They would
Speaker 1: cover and run back to the restaurant. There when I
Speaker 1: was like eighty miles and started and John Cockerell and
Speaker 1: John Viner and then it was like the like the
Speaker 1: next level up. It was like Sue Costello. And then
Speaker 1: there was that guy she was dating who was Italian
Speaker 1: that opened the Gotham Comedy Club, Chris Chris what's his
Speaker 1: last name? Uh miss Cilly. Yeah. So I started at
Speaker 1: Gotham doing six thirty pre shows and I'd bring three people,
Speaker 1: and Sue was there all the time, and now I
Speaker 1: can she was so scary, scary and she's warmed up
Speaker 1: a lot. She was totally yeah. She because she was
Speaker 1: also fairly good. I mean she she was remember she
Speaker 1: development deals? Oh she was it then? And then I
Speaker 1: remember going to the bathroom and I came out. Now
Speaker 1: I don't know she's dating Chris. She was cleaning up
Speaker 1: the sink Carrea, and I just seen her on stage.
Speaker 1: I was like, why did she clean up the sink area?
Speaker 1: And then with that Boston accent, Chris is my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: We got a clean up the clot like, I was amazing.
Speaker 1: I was so nervous around her. So we're your first
Speaker 1: set ever was at the New York Comedy New York
Speaker 1: Comedy Club. How did you do it? Was? I think?
Speaker 1: Probably terrible. I just I just remember being like I
Speaker 1: did it a couple of times that it didn't go well.
Speaker 1: But I remember being like, I love this and I
Speaker 1: just need to take some time and learn about stand up.
Speaker 1: But I would do that. What I did was I
Speaker 1: just wrote, and then I followed Judy Golden Jim gaffickin
Speaker 1: around New York City and I'm not kidding. I went
Speaker 1: to so many different clubs and the lineup those are
Speaker 1: two are my favorite. Just watch and I would just
Speaker 1: watch them and watch them and then uh yeah, just
Speaker 1: watch a lot of stand up, and then I came
Speaker 1: back like five months later, did a set at New
Speaker 1: York Comedy Club and when passed away Judy Gold, No no no, no,
Speaker 1: there's another Gold. There's a different woman. Remind no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: there's another one. No God, there was another woman who
Speaker 1: my friend wrote a show about that he was friends
Speaker 1: with her. She was she was also a groundling and
Speaker 1: her name was either Judy or last name was Gold.
Speaker 1: And I was getting Okay, it's not the same person.
Speaker 1: So sorry, sorry Judy, Sorry jud fans, I'm sorry everybody
Speaker 1: I would think better than ever. I mean, she's she's amazing.
Speaker 1: She is. So you follow them around and you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that's my that's what what's possible, What's that's a
Speaker 1: great thing about? I mean, I mean you went through it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: look at those shows that we were on and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, these are the greatest comedians
Speaker 1: in the world when I look back on and again,
Speaker 1: I do talk about this in the book, But like
Speaker 1: when I got to Chico, I started before New York.
Speaker 1: I was in Chicago when I was nineteen, and I
Speaker 1: had never had any desire to do improv, but I
Speaker 1: landed at this place, the Improv prov Olympic Theater, and
Speaker 1: like the house team at the time was Adam McKay
Speaker 1: who went on to go Right Anchor Man and won
Speaker 1: an oscar for like you know, the Big Shore Um,
Speaker 1: and then it was future UCB founders Matt Besser and
Speaker 1: Ian Roberts, and then it was um. Like the people
Speaker 1: that were there, it was like Ali for a knock.
Speaker 1: It was just it was just Laura Kraft who went
Speaker 1: on to go Horatio saying Horatio Stand. It was Rachel Drafts.
Speaker 1: It was just like this. Everyone was so good and
Speaker 1: it was all before they went to Second City, so
Speaker 1: like it was it was like they were at the
Speaker 1: height of their powers, but nobody, like the second thing
Speaker 1: got to Second City. Then they all got picked to
Speaker 1: go to New York to either be on SNL or
Speaker 1: like The Daily Show or whatever. But like watching who
Speaker 1: was there when I was nineteen, seeing what was possible,
Speaker 1: it was like wow, look at them go, look at
Speaker 1: them go. But it's so inspiring. I mean in New
Speaker 1: York you would just go from club to club and
Speaker 1: and then when I started doing pre shows at Carolines,
Speaker 1: um you have to bring like ten people on a
Speaker 1: Monday night. You know Andy Angle those shows, Um, you
Speaker 1: know it went really well and I would always bring
Speaker 1: people so um he let me just come into Carolines
Speaker 1: And when my favorite people came into town, I watched
Speaker 1: them go in the back and watched like Brian Reagan
Speaker 1: still those day, one of my favorite comics. I watched
Speaker 1: him extensively every time. He's so bad that he's amazing.
Speaker 1: Who was that guy? That Dustin? Who is like dust
Speaker 1: I loved Dustin Chafin, Justin Chaffin for the last ten years.
Speaker 1: Um is uh with Leah um Banama, but they never
Speaker 1: remember how to pronounce her last name. I've gotten to
Speaker 1: know her through her trips back to l A and
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with her. She's wonderful. They've been dating ten years.
Speaker 1: I can't believe we did not know each other. Who
Speaker 1: was your comedy buddy? Who is your comedy Jessica Curson?
Speaker 1: Jessica Curson, who was just funny? Well this is going
Speaker 1: to air later, but check out her. Bill Berb produced
Speaker 1: her Comedy Central special That's amazing came out, but it
Speaker 1: came out last night. I got great reviews. She's amazing. Um,
Speaker 1: I mean she should have had that special ten years ago.
Speaker 1: You know, isn't it kind of interesting? Like she's been
Speaker 1: doing comedy probably twenty twenty plus years and like kills
Speaker 1: every single time she's on stage, but she's not on
Speaker 1: television and just got a special. That's what I mean.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? You know it's Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a possible of followers. I think it's also um, oh guy, yeah,
Speaker 1: some of the people who you're like, oh, I don't
Speaker 1: want to go aft, don't make me go after them.
Speaker 1: Don't make me go after them, they're too good. It
Speaker 1: was Karen Bergreen marrying Growdan, Jessica Kerson. Um, those were like, yeah, buddies.
Speaker 1: And then when I started doing uh this guy, Ron
Speaker 1: Pool had a show called Pool Party. That was a
Speaker 1: real game changer for me because that was every Friday
Speaker 1: and Saturday in Midtown and that's where I met a
Speaker 1: bunch of gay comics. So that was a game changer.
Speaker 1: When did you come out? Um, so I remember hearing
Speaker 1: about this. I didn't come out on stage until maybe
Speaker 1: eight years in. I remember you say that like you
Speaker 1: were working with people who knew who you were working
Speaker 1: at a restaurant and you like, oh, the girl, Oh
Speaker 1: the you were talking about this wing was how you
Speaker 1: were working on Like there were people like they were
Speaker 1: like waiting for you to come out, and oh yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone was waiting for me to come out. I had
Speaker 1: no idea but the but like the third day in Manhattan,
Speaker 1: my sisters worked at Garage Restaurant is no longer, which
Speaker 1: is such a shame um, which was you know, heart
Speaker 1: of West Village, and there was a bartender Mary. Remember this.
Speaker 1: I sit down. This is like literally my third day
Speaker 1: in Manhattan. I sit down. Now, I am the gayest,
Speaker 1: but I have no idea. I had an inkling at
Speaker 1: that point in time. I had an inkling. But when
Speaker 1: i'm I'm not. This is not exaggeration. She said, we're
Speaker 1: talking and she goes, oh, you play for our team.
Speaker 1: Remember this, And you don't know what she was talking about.
Speaker 1: And I had no idea what she was talking about.
Speaker 1: And I literally said are And I said, oh you
Speaker 1: have Garage has a softball team. Oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is the cutest. That's the cutest. It makes me love
Speaker 1: you even more. And I already loved you. Had to
Speaker 1: eleven on the skip in to ten and now you're
Speaker 1: like af is off the chart. I was like, two,
Speaker 1: you're adorable. I was so excited to play softball. May
Speaker 1: I as gonna say back in the day, no one,
Speaker 1: no one I grew up with, came out so much later,
Speaker 1: like it wasn't a thing. I feel like now people
Speaker 1: can come out much younger. People are coming out. When
Speaker 1: they fly out of the wall, it's like nothing. It
Speaker 1: feels like God, thank God, it's like not a thing.
Speaker 1: But at the time we didn't have people were coming
Speaker 1: out like it wasn't it was. It was, it was.
Speaker 1: It just wasn't as common. Now it's like not a thing.
Speaker 1: It was not encouraged, even remote, No mean shameful, it
Speaker 1: was terrible. It was just a non issue. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: nobody's gay, but not really like it just was like
Speaker 1: a non things. Friend in high school, Becky second base
Speaker 1: shagging the shortstop two years older. I knew, but I
Speaker 1: had no I have since probably apologized seven hundred nine
Speaker 1: times in my life because I knew, but I had
Speaker 1: no vocabulary. But I didn't have a vocabulary. If she
Speaker 1: was shagging the shortstop and it was a guy, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, So just Irish Catholic push it
Speaker 1: down till your ankles exposes. So she said, so she said,
Speaker 1: you played for our team. You're like, you have a
Speaker 1: softball team? And I said, and she goes and then
Speaker 1: and then she goes, oh, oh um, yeah, you'll figure
Speaker 1: it out. Was she cute? I mean, oh, yeah, like okay,
Speaker 1: but I you know, I, I and I and I
Speaker 1: said oh, And I remember going, huh, there's not much
Speaker 1: to figure out. You either have a softball team or
Speaker 1: you don't. Please tell me. You say this on stage.
Speaker 1: You don't talk about this. I don't. But I was like,
Speaker 1: what am I going to figure out? I'm either That's
Speaker 1: what I said, what I said before I went out,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I had I thought. I said
Speaker 1: to her, I said, oh, do I have to work
Speaker 1: at Garage to be eligible for the team? I can't even.
Speaker 1: I was literally trying to get information. Yeah, you were like,
Speaker 1: how do I stand out? Do I? I'm not because
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna work year, but if you need actra
Speaker 1: I remember saying if I'm not gonna work here, but
Speaker 1: if you need extra players, And then she said, oh,
Speaker 1: you'll figure it out. And I can't figure it out
Speaker 1: until you give me the information. You either have a
Speaker 1: team or you don't. You're like, where's that way? I'm
Speaker 1: ready to go to this or not. I want to
Speaker 1: play for your team. Why are you not letting me
Speaker 1: play for your team? I mean? And then what happened?
Speaker 1: And then a couple of years later I made out
Speaker 1: with a lady who worked whose brother worked at the garage,
Speaker 1: who initiated it. Yes, we it was the clearest. I
Speaker 1: can't remember how I even put my pants on yesterday,
Speaker 1: but I remember this moment for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: Still at the garage, going to see some friends band um,
Speaker 1: I had twenty eight Gin and Tonics just around them,
Speaker 1: out of gin loving it. We I grabbed her and
Speaker 1: I said, oh, let's go over to this place. I
Speaker 1: know she's gay it. We go to the band place,
Speaker 1: my sisters are there, all our friends are there. I
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom. She follows me into the bathroom,
Speaker 1: pushes me up against the bathroom stall. We make out,
Speaker 1: come out of the bathroom gay. That's the best, and
Speaker 1: that was it, with no one to tell Hammered. I
Speaker 1: was like, uh, like, I just I went into the
Speaker 1: bathroom straight, came out gay. No one available for talking.
Speaker 1: Who did you evente? How? Who? Who? Just was like,
Speaker 1: and so I lived in Brooklyn with my best friend Carrie.
Speaker 1: Still didn't tell her, didn't do anything for like a year.
Speaker 1: Then started sort of hanging out with this woman and
Speaker 1: then I was like, I have to tell her. And
Speaker 1: I said, Carrie, I've I've been making up get I'm
Speaker 1: get Becky maybe gay. She goes, you're the guest. Okay, great.
Speaker 1: I was like okay. She's like, yeah, God, I've been
Speaker 1: waiting for you to tell me. It's so annoying. So
Speaker 1: what do you like? Her like, what's going on? And
Speaker 1: I was like all right. And then I called my
Speaker 1: other really good friend Adrian. I said, I've got something
Speaker 1: to tell you, like and I was shaking, and I go,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gay. And her reaction was she screamed and
Speaker 1: she goes so excited. Had nothing but good news, nothing
Speaker 1: but good news. And then I could tell my sisters.
Speaker 1: How is your how are your how is your parents?
Speaker 1: Less than thrilled? But but fine. I just knew it
Speaker 1: was going to be super, super awkward. The most Catholic
Speaker 1: of all cathol Right, okay, but my mom asked me,
Speaker 1: Mary fully asked me if I was gay? And I
Speaker 1: rerouted the conversation was eight am, wed, I've been home
Speaker 1: for a week, and I was taking an Amtrak train
Speaker 1: from Rhode Island back to New York at maybe ten
Speaker 1: thirty eight am. I'd been with her. That's too expensive
Speaker 1: any um. Yeah, And so I kind of rerouted the
Speaker 1: conversation and she asked you. I mean, she probably knew
Speaker 1: the whole time, and she wanted to make it okay
Speaker 1: for you. Okay, that's my mom dinging. No, that was
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try and that I was just in case
Speaker 1: Padget arrives, I should just tell her, will you text
Speaker 1: her to text you? That's what we'll do. Is she
Speaker 1: joining know she's in a half an hour, but sometimes
Speaker 1: she shows up early and the thought of Paget holding up,
Speaker 1: Paget out blocking her out. Okay, we're back, so I'll
Speaker 1: try it anyway. Yea. So it was awkward and she
Speaker 1: was like you know, broad kids stuff. Then she's like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm devastated, and I was like, I know you would be.
Speaker 1: And then two seconds later she's like, we have to
Speaker 1: return the movie at Blockbuster. Blah blah blah. Okay, keep
Speaker 1: it moving. When moving turned, the movie went home, light
Speaker 1: and polite, walked through the door and I was shaking,
Speaker 1: like what is she going to say? And she's like,
Speaker 1: cut out an article on Billy Crystal and how from
Speaker 1: my a RP magazine about how he does. And I
Speaker 1: was like, all right, this team probably be it. And
Speaker 1: then nothing. And then two months later I was dating someone.
Speaker 1: I was like, can I bring Chilly home for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1: And she goes, yeah, of course. And that was it.
Speaker 1: And you never talked about with your dad, never spoke
Speaker 1: about it with Dick Foley, This is amazing. He loved
Speaker 1: that he was traveling so much for he was like
Speaker 1: literally on a on a fishing boat out a Rhode
Speaker 1: Island at a point you And the day I moved
Speaker 1: in with my girlfriend Karen, I said, He's like, what
Speaker 1: are you doing today? I said, Dad, I'm moving in
Speaker 1: with Karen. Didn't moms tell you? And he goes right, yes, yes, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: right right right yeah, uhh uhh uhh yeah, And it
Speaker 1: went and it went on for like a minute and
Speaker 1: a how And I was like, I think I think
Speaker 1: he's trying to be cool to you know what. When
Speaker 1: I watched that movie The Queen about Princess Diana's death
Speaker 1: and then people were all mad at the Queen and
Speaker 1: how she's always like let's go for the walkies, at
Speaker 1: the quirkies. Like my family is so listening, and I
Speaker 1: kind of there's a certain appreciation to like, Okay, we're good.
Speaker 1: Like it's so not this world of like like like, look,
Speaker 1: it's it's important. I'm glad that in my real life
Speaker 1: I could talk about things with my friends and my like,
Speaker 1: but like there is something to be said for like, Okay,
Speaker 1: who are good everything, Okay, let's do we never gonna
Speaker 1: talk about this guy. Now we're good. Okay, okay, Like
Speaker 1: so like that's just that was your family as well.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah that's New England, New England. That is
Speaker 1: full New England. Yeah, New York. I think it's Irish.
Speaker 1: I think it's Catholic. Push yeah, like keep it down,
Speaker 1: you just keep it moving, keep it polite, a little
Speaker 1: bit formal and and and just change the subject and
Speaker 1: go to t J Max. Whether Yeah, we're gonna go
Speaker 1: to Michael's Crafts. We're gonna go by a blue gun.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get some pomp pomps, let's get some mournaments
Speaker 1: for the tree. You're gonna get a new how was
Speaker 1: your year. My entire year was great. My hear my
Speaker 1: year was so good. It was my year was so good.
Speaker 1: You know it is, uh yeah, it's really I I appreciate.
Speaker 1: I appreciate when nobody like there is something to it,
Speaker 1: like some I you know, I think it. The troublesome
Speaker 1: is now in the romantic area. Like my partner is
Speaker 1: always like I need more, and I'm like it. That's
Speaker 1: how it's been better as I've never dated anybody that
Speaker 1: needed more. Think I actually I did date one guy,
Speaker 1: but he sucked and he didn't think I was open
Speaker 1: enough and and he was also awful. So if somebody
Speaker 1: needed a lot for me, I don't think i'd be
Speaker 1: the right Pass my river. Two ounces of fluid and
Speaker 1: you're a sixteen ounce cup. This is this is how
Speaker 1: much water is in there. I can't give you more.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they did not know. They did not.
Speaker 1: Oh yes I did. Can I ask you a question,
Speaker 1: and I know you can just tell me when we
Speaker 1: have a half hour. When writing the book, what was
Speaker 1: the one thing that you didn't plan on talking about
Speaker 1: that you talked about it or like the biggest kind
Speaker 1: of discovery. I will say there was two things one
Speaker 1: they they publisher requested a chapter on how I got
Speaker 1: from a town with a general store to being on
Speaker 1: television at the age of twenty two, like how did
Speaker 1: I what happened? What did I actually do? Like to
Speaker 1: have go from stars in my eyes to actually having
Speaker 1: a job on a show. And I found it to
Speaker 1: be so uncomfortable to write because it's like to hear
Speaker 1: the voice in your head of like who cares? Like
Speaker 1: who the fund? Do you think you like? Okay, Merl Streep?
Speaker 1: This is how here's how I didn't you want to like,
Speaker 1: you know, you two want to be covered in cat
Speaker 1: like but I'm but I have to say re reading
Speaker 1: it and like reading it back, like as I've been
Speaker 1: like you know, readying it um to see like oh
Speaker 1: if I was if I was little me and somebody
Speaker 1: had grown up in the little town, I would want
Speaker 1: to know the nuts and the bolts of this led
Speaker 1: to this, led to this, led to this, led to
Speaker 1: that chapter. Physically, I kept blacking out when I was
Speaker 1: writing it, like it would like take me. The voices
Speaker 1: in my head were so loud of like who do
Speaker 1: you think you are? Like who? Oh? Okay, Jennifer Lawrence,
Speaker 1: like this is how you got to be the number
Speaker 1: eleven on the call sheet. Honestly, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: It was like very very I felt very braggy. It
Speaker 1: was very antiiny Nglan like not flashy, like not braggy um.
Speaker 1: And then I think the other thing that's like I
Speaker 1: never and I mean, the book is very funny, but
Speaker 1: like I never in a million years again when I sold,
Speaker 1: when I wrote the proposal, like I act think I've
Speaker 1: written a comedy version of like the Year of Magical Thinking.
Speaker 1: At the very end, I never thought that I would
Speaker 1: be an expert on grief or like for my own
Speaker 1: like and I would never thought I would a growing
Speaker 1: up in a house where people never talk about things
Speaker 1: that I would actually like if somebody else is going
Speaker 1: through something at the very I have like here's things
Speaker 1: that have helped me. It's never what I ever would
Speaker 1: have imagined that any book that I would have anything
Speaker 1: to do with it would be like how to deal
Speaker 1: in a real way, in an honest way, like that
Speaker 1: was certainly not what I ever thought I would be
Speaker 1: writing about. Ever, it sounds awesome. I'm really I love
Speaker 1: that I really read Island. I mean, grief Island, dude,
Speaker 1: it was d one of grief. I write it. Actually
Speaker 1: it's funny like so there's unfortunately to death chapters. It's
Speaker 1: like my dad and then people want you know, I
Speaker 1: can't wait to read. But I talk a lot. I'll
Speaker 1: talk a lot of how the podcast very much so
Speaker 1: has been surprisingly a large part of like putting Humpty
Speaker 1: back together again, because this thing, this seemingly silly thing
Speaker 1: that's about hairless people falling in love, you know, like
Speaker 1: that in the strangest way, has helped me to get
Speaker 1: to know people. I've never played sports before, so it's
Speaker 1: given me like a sport and a team, something that's
Speaker 1: sort of meditative when I'm watching the bats and taking
Speaker 1: my obsessive notes like a serial killer like that. That
Speaker 1: this has been very much been a large part of
Speaker 1: putting Humpty back together again. Well that's fantastic. How are
Speaker 1: you dealing with your dad? Um? Yeah, it just doesn't
Speaker 1: it's it's it just seems like the summer was kind
Speaker 1: of brutal, but we had I'm just very lucky that
Speaker 1: we had that small window where he was okay to
Speaker 1: move them into my sisters. I know there was a
Speaker 1: long time coming. That was really it was a really
Speaker 1: a rough couple of months because I didn't think we
Speaker 1: could physically get him on a plane. How did you
Speaker 1: do that? He came out of the hospital healed enough
Speaker 1: to literally physically got him on a plane. I went
Speaker 1: back to Florida, like every couple of weeks, moved, Megan
Speaker 1: took a week off. We got the literally put them
Speaker 1: on a plane, clean the house, put the stuff in
Speaker 1: the you all put the stuff in the car and drove.
Speaker 1: You drove it. We drove from Florida to god a
Speaker 1: moving van. But the rest of the stuff we like
Speaker 1: gave away, we sold, We put in a car and
Speaker 1: mean and I moved drove the car from Florida, Texas.
Speaker 1: Because you're quiet about it. You're quiet about it. I
Speaker 1: just I it's it's awful. It just sucks. And also,
Speaker 1: like the state of the Union, life is hard for everybody.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, let me tell you you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Um, now, it's the I always have
Speaker 1: to like try to stay positive. But the wonderful thing
Speaker 1: is like my sisters there, they're safe, they're in a house.
Speaker 1: Like he's back in the hospital. But um, you know,
Speaker 1: we're coming in ten days for the hot holidays, Like
Speaker 1: he's where he's supposed to be. Are they in Waco?
Speaker 1: They're in Waco, Okay, I drove there. I drove to
Speaker 1: Waco when I was filming in Dallas because I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: with Fixer Upper, so Rebecca remain also obsessedive Fixer Upper.
Speaker 1: And Jerry O'Connell rented like f one fifty and we
Speaker 1: drove a gigantic truck. This this is when I did
Speaker 1: that horror movie Satanic Panics. We drove off. We had
Speaker 1: one day off. We'd been shooting nights, so we slept
Speaker 1: till like three pm. Rented enough one fifty, drove to
Speaker 1: Waco to look at to go to the Magnolia Silos.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you. We were driving all over Waco
Speaker 1: and we're like we could live here, Like it's it's
Speaker 1: really really cute, and just in the four years Haterror
Speaker 1: has been there feels like it's been transformed. Chip and
Speaker 1: Joanna Gains are nailing it every else. And I'm even
Speaker 1: such a psycho that I went online and I got
Speaker 1: like a driving man of like this was this house?
Speaker 1: This is so like we stopped. We drove from house
Speaker 1: to house and I was like like I found, like
Speaker 1: we found like the Shotgun house that they bought for
Speaker 1: like thirteen thousand dollars and then like renovated, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why don't I'll just move to wall Like
Speaker 1: when I took my partner there when we were I
Speaker 1: was doing she was in Austin. She came to me
Speaker 1: and Austin we drove to wait for the Best. I
Speaker 1: loved it. It's very religious, but that's the only things
Speaker 1: very It's very conservative. But we met, you know, Sarah's
Speaker 1: like I want to I want let's buy a house.
Speaker 1: You can buy how like I know you can buy
Speaker 1: a palatial estate for like three grand. And they're so cute.
Speaker 1: They're so cute. Chip and Joy and Gains really a
Speaker 1: nailed it. I thought I have to say this silos again.
Speaker 1: They were closed, but Rebecca Remain and Jerry Cuttle and
Speaker 1: I were one of like twenty people outside of the
Speaker 1: closed silos, like taking selfies in front, like and they
Speaker 1: were so much I thought they were going to call,
Speaker 1: Like those two should have called Chip in Joanna like
Speaker 1: open it up. Yeah, they should have come on, come
Speaker 1: on you if I can Super Molly, if you wore
Speaker 1: in the wings you can get in. I will say
Speaker 1: that like it was it was less. It was like
Speaker 1: less kitchen. It was like so cool and cute, like
Speaker 1: it's loved it. Yeah, so your parents must be happy
Speaker 1: there they are. And you know what since Tara I
Speaker 1: think that's her name, righte slash. You know she's a professor,
Speaker 1: so Baylor. So they have gone to like the orchestra
Speaker 1: a Baylor, uh you know, acchoir a base. But like
Speaker 1: the facilities, Yeah, that's awesome, the Philharmonic, like Baylor's amazing.
Speaker 1: So what we're holidays like growing up in the fully household,
Speaker 1: give me Christmas morning? Oh well, first of all, most
Speaker 1: people I feel lucky that Like everyone's like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing for the holidays? I'm like, can't wait because
Speaker 1: I love Christmas. I love any holiday. I love lights,
Speaker 1: I love I love whatever. I love a holiday party.
Speaker 1: I love it all. I love the weird, like all
Speaker 1: the cloth, Mocha's that, like any kind of anything. I've
Speaker 1: been killing it in my office, bringing in all the
Speaker 1: office decorations because I've never had an office. YEA discovered
Speaker 1: the store. Oh that's where I get so many of
Speaker 1: my big holiday party every year. And I get a
Speaker 1: lot of it at the day. It's the best way
Speaker 1: if you don't out there guys, if you look, you're
Speaker 1: probably listening to this. It's probably mid May. But if
Speaker 1: you are like for whatever holidays coming up. If you're
Speaker 1: like I want to start a uh whatever, collection of
Speaker 1: Fourth of July, collection Day, Labor Day, Halloween, f start flight,
Speaker 1: you get whatever whatever. You go to the n nine
Speaker 1: cents to get a nice base, and then you can
Speaker 1: pick and choose some booge from like anthropology or whenever
Speaker 1: on sale on sale or appeer one good appeer one,
Speaker 1: get it on sale. You're nice. Base at nine store
Speaker 1: is my full base. Um, I load up stick it
Speaker 1: on the office walls. That was my full base for
Speaker 1: years until I started throwing a birthday slash Christmas party.
Speaker 1: Not for but I'm just saying for the office. By
Speaker 1: the way, it's like you can get like fifteen silver
Speaker 1: balls for a dollar. The best is I kept looking
Speaker 1: at the back of the items for a price that's right,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, I think you're beautiful is
Speaker 1: a good thing? You're beautiful? Can I just say I've
Speaker 1: traveled with Aaron Folly and I've said this before, and
Speaker 1: I've gone out numerous times. You were like a magnet
Speaker 1: for straight lady who like they have like one glass
Speaker 1: of shibilis And all of a sudden, who wasn't We
Speaker 1: were at like some casino and new that was not
Speaker 1: on the strip, and like the manager was like, let's
Speaker 1: just say someone was maybe Olivia Month could throw me
Speaker 1: on the desk and make out and that like like
Speaker 1: she was dating the man that like ran the casino.
Speaker 1: But she kept playing a fun game with Aaron and
Speaker 1: I like, let's just say you made out with Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's the problem, Let's do this. It was crazy. And
Speaker 1: then she ran away and then she basically was throwing
Speaker 1: yourself and she's like we're gonna do this, We're gonna
Speaker 1: do this. You're like okay, She's like, how how dare you?
Speaker 1: That was an You got so drunk and you were
Speaker 1: like you I'm friended everyone on faceboo. I can't even
Speaker 1: we can't talk about that. Yeah, and then you and
Speaker 1: I did everything that you've done. It was a disaster.
Speaker 1: It was in the right. I didn't even know you
Speaker 1: that well. It was like you mean Marylyn rice Cup? Yes?
Speaker 1: Was it was it? You? Me and Orsi Also funny
Speaker 1: both funny um and so eron fully big dream? What
Speaker 1: do you? What would your dreams for twenty twenty? The
Speaker 1: dream for is I want to continue writing on a show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hopefully on one day at a time. If it gets
Speaker 1: it airs well, it'll be airing when this goes out,
Speaker 1: because it will air in the spring, start airing March.
Speaker 1: I'm hoping. The dream is that it gets picked up
Speaker 1: for season five and I get hired for season five.
Speaker 1: So it's been an amazing experience so far. And and uh,
Speaker 1: are you still touring? Nope, I've stopped. I've just doing
Speaker 1: local shows for stand up. But now I'm going to
Speaker 1: take a nice long break because it's exhausting having a
Speaker 1: full time job. I wake up at sixty morning. My
Speaker 1: life is just kind of and I have never taken
Speaker 1: a break in twenty years. And I'm taking a break.
Speaker 1: So I'll resume in a couple of months. That's fine,
Speaker 1: And I take a break. I canceled all my shows
Speaker 1: this year. I was like, I'm gonna give myself one
Speaker 1: full year. From my mom, I can't do it. You're
Speaker 1: working around the cloth. I was like, I can't do it.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll give myself one year and then
Speaker 1: I'll get I'll do live podcasts and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But um, one year and then I'll get back back
Speaker 1: on the horse. I can't do it. Yeah, well that's
Speaker 1: just you being healthy and taking care of yourself like
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. It's it's just this weird shift
Speaker 1: where your my whole identities stand up and now I'm like,
Speaker 1: who am I? But it feels totally great just to
Speaker 1: take a breather. Um. Yeah. And then I moved in
Speaker 1: with my partner for February. First when to force her
Speaker 1: into marriage because that's romance that keep writing and to
Speaker 1: be healthy and to be uh with Sarah's one, that's
Speaker 1: my goal. Final two questions. Were you popular in high school?
Speaker 1: I was? I knew you were. Of course you were.
Speaker 1: You were in a just popular and Wells was popular. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet you, Lauren, but like but not mean girl pop.
Speaker 1: I mean you well like I was fun and I
Speaker 1: played sports, and I like queen prom Queen. I was
Speaker 1: not prom Queen. I was. It was Becky and I was.
Speaker 1: She was second base. I was left field and we
Speaker 1: were vice president president four years, so we ran the school. No,
Speaker 1: I knew it. I knew it. We have so many
Speaker 1: like we've the people. We've done a few of these
Speaker 1: so far, and everybody's been popular. I was socialt okay.
Speaker 1: Last question, opening night, you're getting out of the limo
Speaker 1: as as a contestant on the Bachelorette, what do you wear?
Speaker 1: Full football outfit? And I do an aggressive forward roll batchotball,
Speaker 1: spike it and I go, let's do this and I
Speaker 1: can take the helmet off. And you've got black hair,
Speaker 1: black hair, longer hair, Yes, I got black under my eyes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh yeah, I'll have to come up with some
Speaker 1: sort of Yeah. I love it, like spiking the ball.
Speaker 1: Hopefully don't hit her when I know what if you do,
Speaker 1: you do though, I love them out it. Then I
Speaker 1: just give her like a buddy nose and I like that.
Speaker 1: I like that you keep haired tight capris or the
Speaker 1: other thing would be full center night fever. You know
Speaker 1: the jacket adder, you know, the staying alive is on.
Speaker 1: Just dance my wayes. I picture myself obviously, we know
Speaker 1: I'm in the I'm in this short in the front,
Speaker 1: long in the back, I'm in the mullet dress. And
Speaker 1: then I'm now picturing myself doing like a barrel rolled
Speaker 1: like like that head like the Sonic Hedgehog. Like I roll,
Speaker 1: like I roll up with like sparks, like I figure
Speaker 1: out how to have like sparks goases. I'm like rolling
Speaker 1: so hard and that I attempt to do a split,
Speaker 1: but I'm really inflexible so that I'm just kind of
Speaker 1: like stuck in my mullet, like stuck there. And then
Speaker 1: I'm like, can you give me a hand? I like it? Right,
Speaker 1: I like it. It's like and then it's like and
Speaker 1: then it's like, oh, she's human. She's not just awesome
Speaker 1: like a hedgehog. She's also human because she needs because
Speaker 1: she's stuck. That's what I like it. Another thing now
Speaker 1: that you're talking, which is, um, you get out of
Speaker 1: the limbaum and then you look at him and you
Speaker 1: go do you love dirty dancing? Yeah? Yeah, and be
Speaker 1: like let's do the lift a sprint in the corner
Speaker 1: and then you sprint at him and then I jump
Speaker 1: and you jump, and you just hope it works out.
Speaker 1: I just hope it works out. And then like we
Speaker 1: fall and like my snooche falls right in his face
Speaker 1: by action, and I'm like maybe and then like she's
Speaker 1: had a control and like she's not even drinking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she has had a thimble. She's had hammered the peanut greene.
Speaker 1: She's had one thimble the peanut greene, and she's hammered um.
Speaker 1: In conclusion, I know this will be airing later. I
Speaker 1: know we're doing draft picks next week. Yes, how excited
Speaker 1: are you for Peter's season? You know, I had gotten
Speaker 1: a fairly busy, thank god, the last couple of months.
Speaker 1: But when I walked into this company, got excited. Clubhouse
Speaker 1: of Drinks, you got excited. I thought, oh god, I'm
Speaker 1: getting pumped. It just gets fast. That's Sunday at four.
Speaker 1: Fly in that morning. Come do it with me and
Speaker 1: Paget and Rob. Just come do it and then go
Speaker 1: back that night. Maybe come and do it. I mean,
Speaker 1: I want if it was Saturday, it would be no brainer.
Speaker 1: This Sunday stuck there you get stock. But it is
Speaker 1: so close, it's so close, you're not gonna get stuck.
Speaker 1: All right, let me think about that. We'll fly you
Speaker 1: up and everything. Right now, I just get nervous about
Speaker 1: like the job and stuff. I get it. Why don't
Speaker 1: we just make sure that you leave the stage by five?
Speaker 1: Like well, this you just leave if I could take
Speaker 1: like a flight back in the burbank. I actually think
Speaker 1: this could work. You gotta calm, you gotta calm. Patch
Speaker 1: is going to be there one podcast at time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: um wait, Patge is gonna be Yeah, Patch is gonna
Speaker 1: be there. In conclusion, Katie Anna, what would you guys wear?
Speaker 1: What would you wear? Um a really really long gown
Speaker 1: that people need to let carry handlers? Are you gonna
Speaker 1: bring handlers like children? Or you have like like like
Speaker 1: like four like six four year olds dressed in like
Speaker 1: foot like foot servants, like like like mice fancy mice. Yeah, clear,
Speaker 1: like immigrant children that I'm like, I'm giving them opportunity.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they would love that. That would be That
Speaker 1: would make ABC look woke and also not woke. Katie,
Speaker 1: what are you doing out of the limo for Peter?
Speaker 1: I've never thought of that. I have to think of it.
Speaker 1: What are you going to work for Peter? Peter? You
Speaker 1: have to dress us an airplane, I would or a
Speaker 1: sexy stewardess, a se actual airplane, like I have wings,
Speaker 1: because remember like he was pretending to be an airplane
Speaker 1: in that one scene in the last season, like they're
Speaker 1: going down the jet weight, He's like, I would just
Speaker 1: dress us a fucking airplane. Yeah, I would piss you off.
Speaker 1: I would come in after you and I would him
Speaker 1: glide in and knock him over. I would like start
Speaker 1: from some other house in Calabasas and have somebody like
Speaker 1: a touch a cord to me and drive me down
Speaker 1: pc age like on the back of a homer trying
Speaker 1: to get and then I would release that like the
Speaker 1: clip that would attach me to the homer, and then
Speaker 1: I would just like dive bomb in and like and
Speaker 1: like like short shorts and like like a real titty
Speaker 1: top and like a cape a cape, and then I
Speaker 1: would write sexy Stewart as alert and then I would
Speaker 1: like come dive bombing in and then and then put
Speaker 1: my snooch nearest face. I'm gonna revise my answer and
Speaker 1: go as the person that cleans the plane right after
Speaker 1: the plane lands. I'm gonna go in a full onesie
Speaker 1: that's right, just like just with a couple of garbage
Speaker 1: bags and be like, everybody off, We're gonna get this
Speaker 1: wet this next flight. Okay, I'm gonna revise mine. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna revise mine. I'm gonna be the guys like out
Speaker 1: on the flight char Mac. I'm gonna have the glow
Speaker 1: thing and but I'm gonna have to go right to
Speaker 1: my crotch right my crash it does kind I'm gonna
Speaker 1: wave it in. I'm gonna go right to my crotch
Speaker 1: and then and then at my crotch, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: attached like when Katy Perry would tour to shoot whip
Speaker 1: creamer moves. I'm gonna have a windmill and it will
Speaker 1: say like knock knock, butter coll. I'm just gonna split
Speaker 1: around and then it's gonna have like a video screin
Speaker 1: of his mom cheering for him, fucking on my legs. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna revise. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna be dressed
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna drive up in
Speaker 1: the gas oil tankers that refuel the blames come out
Speaker 1: with the hose. Are my vagina going back to the
Speaker 1: gas tanker? Feel like? Are you ready to take a spell?
Speaker 1: I don't know you, guys. I'm gonna come in as
Speaker 1: a present day val Kilmer flooded like and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be topless and my chips flying my like like almost
Speaker 1: dcomes flying and I'm gonna go, are you hey, eight,
Speaker 1: are you ready to play? Are you ready to do
Speaker 1: the blue scene with me? But like beach ball version,
Speaker 1: and then to be like volleyball. I'm gonna volleyball and
Speaker 1: like a sand pit. And then I'm gonna be like,
Speaker 1: tell me about is stud and I'm gonna and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna play both the part of Meg Ryan and and
Speaker 1: present day fat Val Kilmer. And then I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: I'm sorry cruise and right and then and then I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be like then I'm gonna be like, you're my
Speaker 1: You're my goose man. And then I'm gonna and then
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tackle them. Feel the need the need for speed?
Speaker 1: All right, last revision, I'm gonna get out of the
Speaker 1: limo and go I'm get back to the limit and
Speaker 1: then just keep it moving, keeping a little bit. You
Speaker 1: keep it moving, guys. I don't know what else you
Speaker 1: want from a bonus podcast. You aren't expecting this. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're waiting for. And your payment could
Speaker 1: just be one purchase by by the boat, by the book,
Speaker 1: by the boat, by the best little contented I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie to paid like fourteen dollars to write it,
Speaker 1: so like at least make me look popular. Everybody gets
Speaker 1: the book. Just get the book. I'm gonna rob a bank.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy eight thousand copies. I'm gonna go straight
Speaker 1: to number one. I'm gonna rob a bank next to
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna go to jail and they'll be like,
Speaker 1: you can't have your earnings because you robbed a bank.
Speaker 1: The City Bank on Glendale Boulevard. I'm coming for you.
Speaker 1: I'm giving your head, I'm grab robbing. I'm robbing the
Speaker 1: Chase Bank at the corner of Lost Les Boulevard and
Speaker 1: Hillhersh I'm coming for you. Sad Credit, Ferrero Union in Bank.
Speaker 1: I know where you are. Apple Bank on the other
Speaker 1: read side in Manhattan on seven or third or Broadway.
Speaker 1: Even though you're small bank, I'm still gonna rob you.
Speaker 1: Uh oh yeah yeah, sal Santander Bank in the Commons
Speaker 1: and Little Cops and Rhode Island. I'm gonna come to
Speaker 1: a book signing, but before I do that, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: rob you. And I'm gonna buy myself a four thousand
Speaker 1: of my own books. And I've already read Bill and
Speaker 1: Ann's gas station off the Core fourth in Maine, in
Speaker 1: Rhode Island, I'm coming firm. We're gonna rob you at
Speaker 1: that point, and then we're gonna buy artist books and
Speaker 1: maker number one seller, and then I'm gonna go, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: it's me, knock knock, knock, knock, butter cop. You have
Speaker 1: a horse, your mom in a windmill. But I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have like a stocking on my head, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have great hair. I am sweating and enjoying what I
Speaker 1: really feel like. We went to Nationals on this wests
Speaker 1: we passed State. We went right to Nationals and guess what,
Speaker 1: we had four clear eyes that we couldn't lose. We
Speaker 1: left it on the field. We left it on the field,
Speaker 1: and we left it on the field. You leave it
Speaker 1: on the dance floor, and you leave it on the field, like,
Speaker 1: I know you all the better. So when I meet
Speaker 1: you on my dance floor next week, you're gonna know
Speaker 1: I mean fucking business. I'm gonna look at you. Our
Speaker 1: eyes are going to connect and be like, we're gonna
Speaker 1: leave it on the dance floor and we're gonna rob
Speaker 1: a bank. Happy you're here. Thank you guys, for listening.
Speaker 1: Aaron Folly, I love you, love you right back, I
Speaker 1: see you in San Francisco by Oh Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to get all up tonight so good. I just gotta
Speaker 1: one of the questions where you reach this role, roles
Speaker 1: in your world, rules into your world. Will you accept
Speaker 1: this Rose is a production of I Heart Radio. For
Speaker 1: more podcast on iHeart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app,
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.