WEBVTT - Scott Galloway

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<v Speaker 1>I am often asked who would be the person I'd

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<v Speaker 1>most like to see walk through the doors of the

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<v Speaker 1>River Cafe. I usually say Nelson Mandela, but he's not coming,

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<v Speaker 1>so then it really depends on what I'm reading, watching,

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<v Speaker 1>or listening to. For months, the top of my list

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<v Speaker 1>has been Scott Galloway, whose Profgy podcast is where I

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<v Speaker 1>go to be informed and inspired. Scott opens up subjects

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<v Speaker 1>I hardly know about, tech, entrepreneurism, social media, AI, financial

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<v Speaker 1>markets up and down, and yesterday actually something I do

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<v Speaker 1>know about olive oil. But this is not just what

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<v Speaker 1>compelled me to invite him to lunch when I heard

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<v Speaker 1>he'd move to London. It was that this professor of

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<v Speaker 1>marketing at the New York University Stuart School of Business

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<v Speaker 1>gives his salary back to the university and talks about loneliness, isolation,

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<v Speaker 1>connection and belonging. He worries about the disenfranchised and lonely

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<v Speaker 1>young man. Scott is tough and he's direct, but he's compassionate,

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<v Speaker 1>he's honest, and he's probing. And that is a person

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<v Speaker 1>who I'm listening to most these days, and who has

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<v Speaker 1>just walked through the doors of the River Cafe to

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<v Speaker 1>sit down with me at table.

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<v Speaker 2>Four Ruthie, so that is this is absolutely a first.

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<v Speaker 2>I have never had my name mentioned in the same

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<v Speaker 2>sentence as Nelson Mandela. I think you said it impossibly, hye, Bar.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't hear Nelson Mandela and Scott Galloway a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's great to be with you. I realize that

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<v Speaker 2>you're interviewing me, but I just have a couple of

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<v Speaker 2>things I want to I want to get off my chest.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't realize that you're literally the most powerful person

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<v Speaker 2>in the world. Anyone I meet who's who's powerful. It's like, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm coming to London and I'm staying with Ruthie or

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<v Speaker 2>I'm seeing Ruthie.

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<v Speaker 3>You really know everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>And also just a quick story. You did something that

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<v Speaker 2>was very impactful and I don't know if you know

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<v Speaker 2>what this is, but we had never met. I was

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<v Speaker 2>regretting accepting the lunch invitation. I didn't know the River Cafe.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't know you. It just popped up on my

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<v Speaker 2>calendar and I got there and you're lovely, and obviously

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<v Speaker 2>I found out this is an iconic establishment. And I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know if you remember this, but about twenty or

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<v Speaker 2>thirty minutes into the lunch, I was talking. I think

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<v Speaker 2>I was talking about my sons, and you just very

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<v Speaker 2>casually held my hand and it was at first kind

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<v Speaker 2>of shocking and a bit rattling, and you did it

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<v Speaker 2>two or three more times throughout the lunch, and by

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<v Speaker 2>the end of the lunch, I was not only comfortable

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<v Speaker 2>with it, but I was really moved by it, and

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<v Speaker 2>I thought, I wish more people had the confidence to

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<v Speaker 2>express that sort of affection physically. And it taught me

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<v Speaker 2>that that was the most impactful thing about our lunch,

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<v Speaker 2>that this person who I had never met before had

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<v Speaker 2>the confidence the affection to like hold my hand.

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<v Speaker 3>It really sort of stilled me.

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of do remember, because I was a little

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<v Speaker 1>scared that you'd actually accepted the invitation and that you

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<v Speaker 1>were coming. And I suppose I wanted to. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like a first kit meeting, but it was

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<v Speaker 1>over food. It was in the restaurant. I wanted to.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess I wanted to impress you. I wanted it

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<v Speaker 1>to be good, and I remember we talked and then

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<v Speaker 1>I think I asked you advice, and again you were

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<v Speaker 1>just so focused on it. You just kind of talk

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<v Speaker 1>to me in a way that really engaged and I

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<v Speaker 1>was very touched by that, and so maybe that was

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<v Speaker 1>for me an important moment. And then reaching out for

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<v Speaker 1>your hand. I don't remember doing it, but I guess

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<v Speaker 1>I did, And if I did, it was because I

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<v Speaker 1>at that point I felt comfortable.

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<v Speaker 2>Well for whatever reason, very few people feel that comfort

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<v Speaker 2>with me.

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<v Speaker 3>We stood out and I loved it. I would tell

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<v Speaker 3>you to continue.

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<v Speaker 1>To do it. Okay, we'll come over. What are you

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<v Speaker 1>doing this afternoon?

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<v Speaker 3>Anytime? That's right, that's right.

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<v Speaker 1>I like that. So I don't know how food connects

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<v Speaker 1>with you well, but we might try and find that

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<v Speaker 1>out in this conversation, because for me, having doing these

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<v Speaker 1>podcasts is getting to know somebody through food. And it

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<v Speaker 1>can be a senator, it can be a footballer, it

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<v Speaker 1>can be a rock star, it can be somebody had

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<v Speaker 1>met on the beach in Mexico. And when you start

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<v Speaker 1>talking about food, maybe it brings up memory. So I

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<v Speaker 1>was thinking about you know your mother, which I know

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<v Speaker 1>you talk about your mother, you talk about her in

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<v Speaker 1>your podcast when you're talking at night, And I was

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<v Speaker 1>wondering about connection as a child.

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<v Speaker 3>So I was very I do a lot of this.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm my guests on a lot of podcasts, and I was,

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<v Speaker 2>I think, more self conscious about this one than most

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<v Speaker 2>of not all of them, because the reality is ruthy

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<v Speaker 2>is I'm not a foodie and food is almost I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to call it a tax. But my mother

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<v Speaker 2>I was raised by a single mother. We didn't have

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of money. She worked full time as a

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<v Speaker 2>secretary and was British, so it wasn't exactly like fantastic.

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<v Speaker 3>I joked with.

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<v Speaker 2>Food was punishment of my household. We used to every

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<v Speaker 2>Sunday night she'd make a big vat. She was very busy.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just the two of us. She'd make a

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<v Speaker 2>big vat of shepherd's pie and then freeze it. And

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<v Speaker 2>every day or five in the next seven nights, when

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<v Speaker 2>I get home from school, I would put a slice

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<v Speaker 2>of this frozen shepherd's pie in a microwave that felt

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<v Speaker 2>like it was Chernobyl before it exploded. And so I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't grow up with what I'll call real inspired food.

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<v Speaker 2>In addition, I think I suffer a little bit from

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<v Speaker 2>body to small. I don't I have trouble, and no

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<v Speaker 2>one's going to feel sorry for this. I have trouble

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<v Speaker 2>keeping weight on, so I've always had to eat more.

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<v Speaker 2>I was an athlete when I was younger, and my

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<v Speaker 2>coaches I always said one thing and need to gain weight.

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<v Speaker 2>So I think I'm probably going to win the award

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<v Speaker 2>for the least foodie person on this podcast. And I

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<v Speaker 2>was thinking about what if she asked me one of

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<v Speaker 2>my favorite restaurants. I don't go to restaurants. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>go for the food. I go for the environment. And

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<v Speaker 2>food for me is like wine. It tops out at

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<v Speaker 2>about thirty bucks a bottle. I just don't have that

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<v Speaker 2>refined palate. So I go to places that have good food.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm more about the environment and a place that

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<v Speaker 2>I'll enjoy being. But I'm not you know my Anyways,

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<v Speaker 2>going back to original question on Sunday nights in college,

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<v Speaker 2>I lived at home for the first year and I

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<v Speaker 2>used to come home. I call it I came home.

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<v Speaker 2>And that is when I was sixteen and seventeen, I

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<v Speaker 2>did what most young men did, and that is I

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<v Speaker 2>started to be a bit of a jerk to my

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<v Speaker 2>mother or I was just rebelling and.

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<v Speaker 3>I wasn't mean.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a biological and an anthrological catalyst that makes it

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<v Speaker 2>easier for kids to leave the household, and that is

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<v Speaker 2>when they turn into teens, they become unbearable and it

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<v Speaker 2>makes it easier for everybody. And then I kind of

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<v Speaker 2>came home. When you're like nineteen or twenty, you realize,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, it's me and my mom against the world.

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<v Speaker 2>She was the only person was irrationally passionate about my

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<v Speaker 2>well being. And I used to go home a lot

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<v Speaker 2>and she'd always cook for me, and it'd always be

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<v Speaker 2>the same thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Did she make.

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<v Speaker 2>She'd always make a roast, yeah, and a roast and potatoes,

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<v Speaker 2>very British, and I think that's probably why I love

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<v Speaker 2>meat and potatoes so much.

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<v Speaker 3>But that was where food sort of turned to love

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<v Speaker 3>for me.

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<v Speaker 1>That was the one place now and when you were

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<v Speaker 1>going back to the shepherd's pie that you heat it

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<v Speaker 1>up in the microwave. And you know, I have to

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<v Speaker 1>say that I obviously I love people who cook. I

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<v Speaker 1>love the idea of cooking for our children. I like

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<v Speaker 1>the idea of sitting down to a meal. But I

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<v Speaker 1>really have a lot of respect and admiration for women

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<v Speaker 1>who who don't you know, who have you know, they

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<v Speaker 1>might they might have to work that night and not

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<v Speaker 1>be able to cook. They might have not have the money,

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<v Speaker 1>or they might not know how to, and so I

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<v Speaker 1>don't judge. I'm not one of those people that says, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>everything should be fresh and everything should be picked locally,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, it's what I do. But I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think it's politically or socially or morally right to put

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<v Speaker 1>that pressure on people who can't do it or don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how to do it. Where was your mom? Was

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<v Speaker 1>she she was working at night or did she? Was

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<v Speaker 1>she doing something else?

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<v Speaker 2>My mom worked pretty hard, lived and died a secretary,

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<v Speaker 2>but obviously she was the only you know, it was

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<v Speaker 2>just me and her. She was a sole breadwinner and

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<v Speaker 2>she had to commute drive into the San Fernando Valley,

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<v Speaker 2>so she had sort of an hour plus commute each way.

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<v Speaker 2>But I did get exposure to I did get exposure

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<v Speaker 2>to wonderful food. My best friend out of Markman, his mother,

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<v Speaker 2>Devora Markman, was one of these people who just went

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<v Speaker 2>into a kitchen and was like watching an F one

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<v Speaker 2>driver get into an automobile. She was just so one

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<v Speaker 2>with the kitchen and the way she expressed love was

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<v Speaker 2>I would walk through the door and Adam and I

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<v Speaker 2>would walk through the door and she'd just start whether

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<v Speaker 2>she wouldn't ask us if you were armed, or she'd

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<v Speaker 2>just start cooking. And it was just such obvious like

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<v Speaker 2>affection for her, and she was so wonderful at it.

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<v Speaker 2>And I remember for the first time thinking, wow, this taste,

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<v Speaker 2>this salad tastes really good, Like what did she do here?

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<v Speaker 3>But yeah, that you know it?

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<v Speaker 1>What did she cook? Do you remember what she actually cooked?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you remember the She would make things like I

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<v Speaker 2>had never heard of, like salmon, you know, in with

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<v Speaker 2>some special sauce, and she'd make like a wonderful caesared

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<v Speaker 2>salad that would have pieces of grapefruit in it. And

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<v Speaker 2>I never thought that, Oh, you know, when you're a kid,

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<v Speaker 2>you don't make the connection that pieces of grapefruit would

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<v Speaker 2>go in a salad. And she would make vegetables that

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<v Speaker 2>were tolerable, like green beans with with with with with

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<v Speaker 2>little shaved almonds, like you start figuring out when you're

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<v Speaker 2>that age, when you're a fourteen or fifteen, food starts

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<v Speaker 2>to create this notion of alchemy that's strange things, unexpected,

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<v Speaker 2>things that come together that one plus one can equal three.

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<v Speaker 2>But it was mostly again about affection that you know,

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<v Speaker 2>my best friend's mom would.

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<v Speaker 3>Just that was we walked through the door.

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<v Speaker 2>And I didn't realize it till later in life, but

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<v Speaker 2>that's how she expressed affection, which she would start cooking.

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<v Speaker 1>And what about your mom did she if she didn't

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<v Speaker 1>do it through food or do you did you maybe

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<v Speaker 1>when she was making that huge shepherd's pie on a

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<v Speaker 1>Sunday night, that was an act of love, you know

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<v Speaker 1>for her kid. It was going to come home most

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<v Speaker 1>nights and find something to eat.

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<v Speaker 2>Always a million things, you know, Ruthie, the you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I talk about this a lot on my podcast. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a fifty nine year old man whose whose mother died

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<v Speaker 2>twenty years ago and I'm still not over it. And

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<v Speaker 2>the you know was it was a million things I

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<v Speaker 2>wouldn't I don't think food is one of those ways.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know, my mom every morning used to come

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<v Speaker 2>in and wake me up and she would be like

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<v Speaker 2>she'd in a very hush voice, she goes Scott Scott, like,

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<v Speaker 2>trying to wake me up gently. It's only a mother

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<v Speaker 2>does that. And when I look back on it, I've

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<v Speaker 2>registered remarkable success and prosperity. And the two catalysts for that,

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<v Speaker 2>or if I look at the two reasons for that

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<v Speaker 2>is one the generosity of California taxpayers that gave me

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<v Speaker 2>a free, accessible education at u CLM Berkeley and started

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<v Speaker 2>an upward spiral for me professionally. And also what any

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<v Speaker 2>successful person has in their life, and that as I

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<v Speaker 2>had someone in their life that was irrationally passionate about

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<v Speaker 2>their well bang. I was more important to my mom

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<v Speaker 2>than she was to herself, and that got expressed a

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<v Speaker 2>million little ways every day.

0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:42.760
<v Speaker 1>But how do you feel about your children? Is food

0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:45.600
<v Speaker 1>something that you think about expressing love?

0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:46.000
<v Speaker 3>Well?

0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:49.400
<v Speaker 2>I have a partner in a spouse. It's an outstanding cook,

0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:52.040
<v Speaker 2>and she absolutely demonstrates love for all of us.

0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:53.040
<v Speaker 3>And I always say to.

0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:55.320
<v Speaker 2>Her when I she wakes me up in the morning

0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.840
<v Speaker 2>and makes me breakfast, makes the kids breakfast. You know

0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.480
<v Speaker 2>what it's like the moments we are going to remember

0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.360
<v Speaker 2>the rest of our lives. I think for most of

0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:07.080
<v Speaker 2>us that are blessed with healthy, you know, reasonable kids.

0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:11.400
<v Speaker 2>You remember those little nights at the banquet, eating dinner

0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:14.720
<v Speaker 2>with them, or roaming around a foreign place with them,

0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:17.960
<v Speaker 2>with them complaining, you know, but those are the moments

0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:20.679
<v Speaker 2>that's what I say to my wife is I'll say

0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.120
<v Speaker 2>to it, I'll say I feel loved, And it's usually

0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:25.439
<v Speaker 2>in the context of the four of us walking around

0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:28.760
<v Speaker 2>some strange city together, or quite frankly, when she cooks

0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:33.520
<v Speaker 2>for me and the boys. So that is I don't cook,

0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:36.600
<v Speaker 2>but you know, it's food is now a big part

0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:38.640
<v Speaker 2>of our household. I'm very healthy part of ousehold. And

0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:40.880
<v Speaker 2>one of the things I love about London that I've noticed,

0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:45.120
<v Speaker 2>for all the grief London gets about food, A the

0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.480
<v Speaker 2>food I've been coming here two to five times a

0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.520
<v Speaker 2>year for fifty years, it's got much better. And two

0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:55.240
<v Speaker 2>the groceries I think are actually healthier here. Less preservatives,

0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:59.199
<v Speaker 2>that's my sense. My senses there's less crap and pesticides

0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:02.839
<v Speaker 2>and hormones. So I've actually really enjoyed. I love cooking

0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:04.840
<v Speaker 2>at home. For me, cooking at home means I'm at home,

0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.520
<v Speaker 2>means I'm with people that I love and love me immensely,

0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.079
<v Speaker 2>and so it's just like it feels right. When I'm

0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.160
<v Speaker 2>eating out, it's usually because I'm on the road and

0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:16.600
<v Speaker 2>it's wonderful. I did wonderful places. But cooking at home

0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:18.160
<v Speaker 2>means I'm with the people who care about me.

0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:22.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Somebody asked me the best restaurant in London other

0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.400
<v Speaker 1>than the River Cafe, what's the best restaurant? I always

0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:28.000
<v Speaker 1>say home? You know, you know, I like being home

0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:30.400
<v Speaker 1>and I like cooking home and my my children come,

0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:33.719
<v Speaker 1>or my kids come, there's a you know, some of

0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:37.080
<v Speaker 1>my grandchildren just want the same thing that they always have. Well,

0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.040
<v Speaker 1>there I have this restaurant. I cook all these things

0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:43.359
<v Speaker 1>and it's like pasta with tomatoesos and tuscan rose potatoes

0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.680
<v Speaker 1>and ice cream. You know, there's something that your memory

0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:48.719
<v Speaker 1>and that's what I think it does. So starting out

0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.120
<v Speaker 1>with saying that you're going to be my guest on

0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:54.319
<v Speaker 1>a podcast about food, without you know, any interests, we've

0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:56.720
<v Speaker 1>already talked about food and your mother and food and

0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.840
<v Speaker 1>your kids and food and your wife and you know,

0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:04.240
<v Speaker 1>and home. So it is meaningful, isn't it. I mean,

0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:08.760
<v Speaker 1>it does have a place in our lives one hundred percent.

0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:10.080
<v Speaker 3>I don't you know.

0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:13.400
<v Speaker 2>This is something we Yeah, I think it would be

0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.400
<v Speaker 2>impossible to ignore. It's how we spend time together. It's

0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.320
<v Speaker 2>how we care for each other. It's moved from something

0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 2>we did for survival to something that's more about community.

0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:25.320
<v Speaker 2>It's a way of expressing generosity. You know, I'm really

0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:29.440
<v Speaker 2>into dogs, and I now see that my dogs occasionally

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.560
<v Speaker 2>when they first when they were first together and introduced

0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:34.280
<v Speaker 2>to each other, they used to guard their food and

0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:37.160
<v Speaker 2>get angry at each other. Now occasionally they share their food.

0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:40.520
<v Speaker 2>It's kind of how they express love. Like, Okay, I'm

0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:42.760
<v Speaker 2>accepting it as part of the pack or the herd

0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:46.720
<v Speaker 2>or whatever the term is. But yeah, it's absolutely and

0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:49.600
<v Speaker 2>anything that brings us together that we can share in

0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:53.360
<v Speaker 2>it requires artisanship and skill and we're giving something to

0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:56.760
<v Speaker 2>someone else and you can celebrate it. Yeah, I think

0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:58.760
<v Speaker 2>there's just no getting around it. And you're going to

0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.280
<v Speaker 2>forget more about this and I'm ever going to now.

0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.920
<v Speaker 1>I think it also talks about culture, doesn't it. You're

0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:07.240
<v Speaker 1>describing walking around a foreign city with your kids, and

0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:10.520
<v Speaker 1>the image of that is keeping them safe, being together

0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:13.720
<v Speaker 1>and then experience. I don't know if you do when

0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:16.120
<v Speaker 1>you travel, But do you enjoy travel? Do you like

0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:20.160
<v Speaker 1>going to a city that is mysterious or you have

0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:22.760
<v Speaker 1>to learn about? Are you are you an explorer? Or

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:24.760
<v Speaker 1>do you do prefer home? Oh?

0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.880
<v Speaker 3>I do, And I'm fortunate that you know.

0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.680
<v Speaker 2>Now we get to do a lot of wonderful things

0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:33.600
<v Speaker 2>with our kids, and we go to great places. I

0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:36.720
<v Speaker 2>spent so much time kind of molesting the earth because

0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:39.920
<v Speaker 2>of what I did professionally. I think I've been on

0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:42.200
<v Speaker 2>the road probably one hundred and fifty plus days a

0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:45.160
<v Speaker 2>year for the last thirty years. And I'm slowing down

0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.960
<v Speaker 2>now since COVID. I've decided I'm not going to travel

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:51.080
<v Speaker 2>as much. But yeah, I mean it's very simple. Do

0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:54.080
<v Speaker 2>I enjoy travel? Are my kids with me? That means,

0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, if my kids aren't with me, it's fine.

0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:59.640
<v Speaker 2>I stay nice places, I mean, interesting people, I like working.

0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:01.800
<v Speaker 2>If my kids are with me, it means it's going

0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:04.000
<v Speaker 2>to be a lot of highs and a lot of lows.

0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:06.920
<v Speaker 2>It's but the highs are the highs are worth it.

0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:11.480
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, the general observation I have around people ask

0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.560
<v Speaker 2>me what's the difference between living in Europe and living

0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:15.680
<v Speaker 2>in the US. I still think the US is the

0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:18.040
<v Speaker 2>best place to make money, but I think Europe is

0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:20.800
<v Speaker 2>the best place to spend it. And part of that

0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:24.520
<v Speaker 2>is food. There's just more of a you walk into

0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.400
<v Speaker 2>a restaurant, people want you to slow down. There is

0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:30.120
<v Speaker 2>more artisanshipping around food here. I think it's a bigger

0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:34.200
<v Speaker 2>part of the culture generally speaking, but that's part of it.

0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 2>And I'm in a stage in my life where I

0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:38.160
<v Speaker 2>want to, you know, not slow down to a ton,

0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:39.960
<v Speaker 2>but I do want to slow down, and some of

0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:41.840
<v Speaker 2>that is longer meals.

0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:45.120
<v Speaker 1>I think that when you go to you know, I

0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.880
<v Speaker 1>was in Paris recently and I was staying with a friends,

0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:51.080
<v Speaker 1>so I bought a sea bass and I was in

0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:54.920
<v Speaker 1>the taxi cab getting there and then taxi driver said,

0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:56.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, what have you got And I said, I

0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:58.200
<v Speaker 1>just got a sea bass, and he started telling me

0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:00.160
<v Speaker 1>about the way to cook it. And I thought. We

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 1>talk about cities having a culture of food and how

0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:06.520
<v Speaker 1>Australia is so exciting because of the food culture, and

0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:09.080
<v Speaker 1>La has a food culture. But when you get actually

0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:11.840
<v Speaker 1>somebody who's just grown up with the smell of a

0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:13.560
<v Speaker 1>bass and knowing to cook it and a kind of

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:16.440
<v Speaker 1>salt or talking about it, I think that person has

0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:19.240
<v Speaker 1>been brought up with a culture of food. Did your

0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:20.880
<v Speaker 1>grandmother was she part of your life?

0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:22.680
<v Speaker 2>They weren't in my life. They're all gone by the time,

0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.760
<v Speaker 2>and my parents and this is a good thing. Smartest

0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:28.200
<v Speaker 2>Ang Aberta was being born in America. My parents immigrated

0:17:28.200 --> 0:17:32.240
<v Speaker 2>from Scotland and England when they were young, and I

0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:33.760
<v Speaker 2>was born in San Diego, but I didn't have any

0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:34.639
<v Speaker 2>family around.

0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:36.480
<v Speaker 1>Did your father cook?

0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:40.919
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, My father was raised in depressionaire of Scotland

0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:46.840
<v Speaker 2>and knew nothing. You know, absolutely no. I think a

0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:48.919
<v Speaker 2>big part of the reason he's been married and divorced

0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:53.080
<v Speaker 2>four times is that he couldn't survive without someone taking

0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.920
<v Speaker 2>care of him. So no, there was We're the least

0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.600
<v Speaker 2>my at least my meeting family as the least culinary

0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.080
<v Speaker 2>adept family you're probably going to run across.

0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:05.800
<v Speaker 3>So now my father doesn't cook.

0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:13.520
<v Speaker 1>The River Cafe is excited to announce the return of

0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:18.840
<v Speaker 1>our Italian Christmas gift boxes, our alternative to the traditional hamper.

0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.640
<v Speaker 1>They bring you all of our favorites from the River Cafe, kitchen,

0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:26.800
<v Speaker 1>the vineyards and the designers from all over Italy. They're

0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:30.320
<v Speaker 1>available to pre order now on shop the River Cafe

0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:47.000
<v Speaker 1>dot co dot k. When you left home, you're just

0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:50.040
<v Speaker 1>describing very movingly coming home to your mother and her

0:18:50.080 --> 0:18:54.080
<v Speaker 1>making you the roast. But when you were living in apartments,

0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:56.240
<v Speaker 1>so you were, you know, just starting out or you

0:18:56.760 --> 0:18:59.800
<v Speaker 1>had an independence was would you just eat out all

0:18:59.840 --> 0:19:00.280
<v Speaker 1>the time?

0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 2>So food for me again, for me growing up, I

0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:05.520
<v Speaker 2>played sports, but my problem was I was too skinny,

0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.560
<v Speaker 2>and so, like I said, when I joined Crew at UCLA,

0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:11.280
<v Speaker 2>I was put on a diet where I was supposed

0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:15.200
<v Speaker 2>to eat eight packs of ramen, six bananas a day,

0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:16.480
<v Speaker 2>these protein shakes.

0:19:16.560 --> 0:19:17.399
<v Speaker 3>I was just over.

0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:22.280
<v Speaker 2>They told me you got to massively increase your calorie intake.

0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:26.440
<v Speaker 2>And I joined a fraternity at UCLA, and the fraternity

0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:30.320
<v Speaker 2>was mostly young men from the San Fernando Valley who

0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.880
<v Speaker 2>came from affluent homes, and during rush week, they would

0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:36.320
<v Speaker 2>all talk about how awful the food was. And I

0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:38.800
<v Speaker 2>got there and I thought the food was amazing. So

0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.399
<v Speaker 2>it's all about your benchmark, the fact that there was

0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:45.639
<v Speaker 2>someone cooking for us and it was like reasonable food.

0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:47.520
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was just incredible. So I think a

0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:49.520
<v Speaker 2>lot of it is just your expectations. But my first

0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:52.680
<v Speaker 2>experience with food was in the fraternity where a woman

0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:55.720
<v Speaker 2>in mean gene the cooking machine is what we called her.

0:19:56.480 --> 0:19:58.200
<v Speaker 2>I remember thinking the food was amazing.

0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:00.120
<v Speaker 1>Do you remember what it?

0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:02.280
<v Speaker 3>Oh? It was really basic.

0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:06.760
<v Speaker 2>I mean it was like pancakes and pastrami sandwiches. I mean,

0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:10.159
<v Speaker 2>you're cooking food for one hundred and ten twenty one

0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:13.119
<v Speaker 2>year old men. I mean this was not this was

0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:17.359
<v Speaker 2>not this was not the River Cafe was. This was

0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:19.359
<v Speaker 2>how do I get these men fed and back to

0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:24.080
<v Speaker 2>school on as little money as possible? And like I said,

0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:26.040
<v Speaker 2>I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I

0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.760
<v Speaker 2>thought the food was amazing. And while all my friends

0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:33.040
<v Speaker 2>from affluent households, whose mothers were probably wonderful cooks, thought

0:20:33.040 --> 0:20:35.520
<v Speaker 2>it was just I thought it was amazing. They did

0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:37.520
<v Speaker 2>not think. So it's all your benchmarkts, like, what's your

0:20:37.560 --> 0:20:39.560
<v Speaker 2>secret to a good marriage? Low expectations?

0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:40.320
<v Speaker 3>Right, So.

0:20:41.760 --> 0:20:43.719
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what do you think about low expectations.

0:20:43.720 --> 0:20:45.480
<v Speaker 1>A friend of mine had trouble with her mother, and

0:20:45.520 --> 0:20:47.679
<v Speaker 1>I said, well, you know you're going to visit. You know,

0:20:47.720 --> 0:20:50.000
<v Speaker 1>maybe she'd just lower your expectations. And she said, I

0:20:50.000 --> 0:20:53.240
<v Speaker 1>don't want to. I don't want to lower my expectations.

0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:55.440
<v Speaker 1>I want those expectations to stay there.

0:20:55.880 --> 0:21:02.000
<v Speaker 2>I find my relationships got a lot better, especially.

0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:02.840
<v Speaker 1>When you love it them.

0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:06.000
<v Speaker 3>Well, it's just so my dad.

0:21:06.080 --> 0:21:08.480
<v Speaker 2>We haven't talked about my dad. My dad wasn't what

0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:12.800
<v Speaker 2>i'd call and especially engaged. Father divorced four times, moved

0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:14.640
<v Speaker 2>away when he and my mom got divorced. I saw

0:21:14.720 --> 0:21:17.359
<v Speaker 2>him kind of on holiday. It's not that engaged in

0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:20.480
<v Speaker 2>my life. But he was also a much better father

0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:22.560
<v Speaker 2>to me than his father was to him, which, when

0:21:22.600 --> 0:21:25.960
<v Speaker 2>you think about it, that is the basis of evolution. Yeah,

0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:28.080
<v Speaker 2>you check a big box when you're better to your

0:21:28.119 --> 0:21:31.240
<v Speaker 2>kids than your parents were to you, because that's your model.

0:21:31.520 --> 0:21:34.399
<v Speaker 2>And I just decided at some point, rather than keeping

0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:36.440
<v Speaker 2>score around whether my dad could have been a better

0:21:36.480 --> 0:21:39.119
<v Speaker 2>dabd or not, imagine like what kind of son do

0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:40.920
<v Speaker 2>I want to be? Yeah, and the answers I want

0:21:40.920 --> 0:21:43.159
<v Speaker 2>to be a generous and loving song. So I'm going

0:21:43.200 --> 0:21:46.879
<v Speaker 2>to stop keeping score. And I find that stopping putting

0:21:46.880 --> 0:21:52.040
<v Speaker 2>away the scorecard with it's your friends, your mates, your parents,

0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:55.960
<v Speaker 2>your relationships gets much much healthier when you decide what

0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:59.840
<v Speaker 2>kind of friend, partner, spouse, son do I want to

0:21:59.840 --> 0:22:03.480
<v Speaker 2>be and put away the scorecard because it's human nature

0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:07.760
<v Speaker 2>to inflate your contributions and deflate theirs, and so you're

0:22:07.760 --> 0:22:10.439
<v Speaker 2>always going to be unhappy, or I think a lot

0:22:10.440 --> 0:22:12.439
<v Speaker 2>of people would be unhappy. And my life has just

0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:16.000
<v Speaker 2>gotten so much better when I think to myself, I'd

0:22:16.040 --> 0:22:18.800
<v Speaker 2>like to be just a generous, awesome friend and be supportive.

0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:23.959
<v Speaker 2>And if I'm on the right side of things, that's okay.

0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:26.479
<v Speaker 2>If I can contribute more than I get from it,

0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:30.040
<v Speaker 2>that's nice. Now for relationship becomes abusive, you're getting nothing

0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:32.680
<v Speaker 2>from it. I'm also a big believer in pairing relationships.

0:22:32.680 --> 0:22:34.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't think you have to collect and always maintain

0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:39.959
<v Speaker 2>every relationship. But yeah, it's the scorecard. I don't want

0:22:39.960 --> 0:22:42.720
<v Speaker 2>to call it low expectations, but just deciding who you

0:22:42.760 --> 0:22:44.680
<v Speaker 2>want to be in that relationship and putting away the

0:22:44.680 --> 0:22:46.639
<v Speaker 2>scorecard's been hugely beneficial to me.

0:22:47.320 --> 0:22:50.520
<v Speaker 1>Listening to you speak and listening you know, actually most

0:22:50.600 --> 0:22:53.760
<v Speaker 1>nights or most mornings you do really do talk a

0:22:53.760 --> 0:22:56.320
<v Speaker 1>lot about the importance of love and of friendship. In

0:22:56.359 --> 0:22:59.840
<v Speaker 1>the restaurant, it's kind of equalizer when somebody comes in

0:22:59.880 --> 0:23:01.560
<v Speaker 1>and they sit down at the table, and I always

0:23:01.600 --> 0:23:04.040
<v Speaker 1>say to the waiter, just imagine that somebody might have

0:23:04.119 --> 0:23:07.199
<v Speaker 1>saved uptingham here, or they might have had a loss

0:23:07.240 --> 0:23:09.720
<v Speaker 1>before they walked in, or they might have gotten lost,

0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:13.879
<v Speaker 1>or there's so many things that happened to in a

0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:17.040
<v Speaker 1>restaurant that you watch the dynamic of people sitting together.

0:23:17.400 --> 0:23:19.919
<v Speaker 1>Most people are really grateful, but being there, you know,

0:23:20.000 --> 0:23:23.000
<v Speaker 1>they thank me or they thank the waiter, but it

0:23:23.040 --> 0:23:27.000
<v Speaker 1>creates a kind of immediate intimacy. I think sometimes sitting

0:23:27.040 --> 0:23:28.080
<v Speaker 1>down and sharing food.

0:23:29.280 --> 0:23:31.879
<v Speaker 2>I think your restaurant does. And I do think that

0:23:32.880 --> 0:23:35.240
<v Speaker 2>small businesses are the closest thing you're going to have

0:23:35.280 --> 0:23:38.880
<v Speaker 2>to children that are inorganic, and that is you conceive them.

0:23:39.359 --> 0:23:43.280
<v Speaker 2>They look, smell, and feel like you. And your restaurant

0:23:43.359 --> 0:23:48.320
<v Speaker 2>is sort of a three dimensional, inorganic version of you, right,

0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:50.840
<v Speaker 2>And I think people feel that. And I think the

0:23:51.000 --> 0:23:54.720
<v Speaker 2>successful retail establishments and restaurants all have one thing in

0:23:54.800 --> 0:23:57.479
<v Speaker 2>common and successful small companies, and that is the owner

0:23:58.040 --> 0:24:01.520
<v Speaker 2>or the largest shareholder is there observing everything.

0:24:02.480 --> 0:24:03.199
<v Speaker 3>And I feel that.

0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:04.800
<v Speaker 2>And granted, I'm fond of you, so I'm going to

0:24:04.800 --> 0:24:08.800
<v Speaker 2>air to the side of compliments here, but that place

0:24:08.880 --> 0:24:12.720
<v Speaker 2>feels bright, it feels optimistic, it feels loving. You know,

0:24:12.720 --> 0:24:15.159
<v Speaker 2>it's kind of you. And those are the businesses that

0:24:15.280 --> 0:24:17.440
<v Speaker 2>really thrive is you can kind of get a sense

0:24:17.480 --> 0:24:20.879
<v Speaker 2>for the founder in their DNA. I mean, it's the

0:24:20.920 --> 0:24:22.879
<v Speaker 2>closest thing we have to kids that aren't our kids.

0:24:23.000 --> 0:24:25.200
<v Speaker 2>When you start a business, because you're in.

0:24:25.200 --> 0:24:25.680
<v Speaker 3>Charge of it.

0:24:25.800 --> 0:24:29.120
<v Speaker 2>You decide what resources it's going to get or not yet.

0:24:29.160 --> 0:24:30.560
<v Speaker 2>You decide what it's going to kind of look like,

0:24:30.600 --> 0:24:33.119
<v Speaker 2>what's going to where, and then it takes on a

0:24:33.119 --> 0:24:34.520
<v Speaker 2>life of its own, and some of it you can

0:24:34.520 --> 0:24:38.119
<v Speaker 2>can't control. Sometimes it disappoints you, sometimes it delights you.

0:24:38.400 --> 0:24:40.920
<v Speaker 2>But I didn't have kids still later in life, and

0:24:40.920 --> 0:24:43.320
<v Speaker 2>I also my business is with the closest thing I

0:24:43.359 --> 0:24:44.159
<v Speaker 2>had to children.

0:24:44.160 --> 0:24:47.359
<v Speaker 3>In terms of that kind of reward and occasional disappointment.

0:24:46.720 --> 0:24:49.679
<v Speaker 1>Which business did? Must that meaningful to you?

0:24:50.480 --> 0:24:50.640
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:24:50.960 --> 0:24:52.800
<v Speaker 2>I started right out of business school. I started a

0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:56.159
<v Speaker 2>strategy firm, and then I started an analytics company, and

0:24:56.160 --> 0:24:57.800
<v Speaker 2>then I started an e commerce company. I've started a

0:24:57.800 --> 0:25:00.760
<v Speaker 2>bunch of companies. Some of work, some haven't. But when

0:25:00.760 --> 0:25:03.960
<v Speaker 2>you're looking back on them, they really do reflect your personality.

0:25:04.600 --> 0:25:06.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I look at these companies and for better

0:25:07.040 --> 0:25:11.439
<v Speaker 2>or for worse, they were sort of this legal corporate

0:25:11.440 --> 0:25:14.560
<v Speaker 2>embodiment of my values. There's just no and I'm sure

0:25:14.600 --> 0:25:17.480
<v Speaker 2>that's true of you know. I think I think Amazon

0:25:17.560 --> 0:25:21.080
<v Speaker 2>still very much reflects who Jeff Bezos is my way.

0:25:21.560 --> 0:25:24.359
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean, Well, I think he's I think

0:25:24.359 --> 0:25:28.640
<v Speaker 2>he's very hard charging. I think he's a very demanding person.

0:25:30.119 --> 0:25:33.719
<v Speaker 2>I think he's willing to take these enormously bold risks.

0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:37.440
<v Speaker 2>And I think the culture at Amazon very much reflects

0:25:38.640 --> 0:25:41.639
<v Speaker 2>reflects him. That Levi Strauss and Company, the Hawes family

0:25:41.720 --> 0:25:47.000
<v Speaker 2>were very paternal and maternal, and the company felt that way.

0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:49.920
<v Speaker 2>It was the first company to have a domestic partner benefits.

0:25:49.960 --> 0:25:53.879
<v Speaker 2>They refuse to segregate their factories in the South. They

0:25:53.960 --> 0:25:56.720
<v Speaker 2>used they used to get people Fridays off in the

0:25:56.720 --> 0:25:58.760
<v Speaker 2>summer and try and nudge them to spend time with

0:25:58.800 --> 0:26:01.560
<v Speaker 2>their family. And that was kind of a Hawes family.

0:26:01.640 --> 0:26:03.760
<v Speaker 2>That was the founders. Those are the people in charge.

0:26:03.920 --> 0:26:06.320
<v Speaker 1>But those values do go through, you know, they do

0:26:07.240 --> 0:26:10.560
<v Speaker 1>keeping those values and how old Levi's is or you know,

0:26:10.600 --> 0:26:13.680
<v Speaker 1>the River Cafe we started with six tables. And you've

0:26:13.720 --> 0:26:17.320
<v Speaker 1>talked about your first business. But you do, once they're there,

0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:19.760
<v Speaker 1>you really try and keep them there, don't you. You know,

0:26:20.080 --> 0:26:22.560
<v Speaker 1>no matter when you grow, and it's harder sometimes the

0:26:22.560 --> 0:26:24.560
<v Speaker 1>more you grow and the bigger you are. How you

0:26:24.640 --> 0:26:27.840
<v Speaker 1>keep that in our place, you know, even with the staff.

0:26:27.840 --> 0:26:30.239
<v Speaker 1>It's also how you feed them. And it's interesting when

0:26:30.280 --> 0:26:32.480
<v Speaker 1>I talk to people, whether they're making movies or they're

0:26:32.520 --> 0:26:36.440
<v Speaker 1>working in you know, hospitals or their scientists. Is how

0:26:37.560 --> 0:26:40.000
<v Speaker 1>do you feed the people who work for you? What

0:26:40.080 --> 0:26:41.720
<v Speaker 1>kind of food do you give them? How do you

0:26:41.760 --> 0:26:44.359
<v Speaker 1>make them feel valued by the fact that you're not

0:26:44.400 --> 0:26:46.560
<v Speaker 1>bringing in cheap food to give them, but you're actually

0:26:46.920 --> 0:26:48.840
<v Speaker 1>one of the chefs every day in the River cafe

0:26:49.000 --> 0:26:52.680
<v Speaker 1>cooks for his colleagues or her colleagues, and it kind

0:26:52.720 --> 0:26:53.280
<v Speaker 1>of matters.

0:26:53.600 --> 0:26:56.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, even I was thinking about this before the pod

0:26:57.359 --> 0:26:59.320
<v Speaker 2>going up the food chain. When we talk about food,

0:26:59.320 --> 0:27:00.680
<v Speaker 2>we tend to talk about.

0:26:59.960 --> 0:27:01.200
<v Speaker 3>It in terms of.

0:27:02.640 --> 0:27:06.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, modern societies and situations of opulence or joys.

0:27:07.359 --> 0:27:11.480
<v Speaker 2>Food takes on a really important meeting in prisons, people

0:27:11.480 --> 0:27:16.280
<v Speaker 2>who are incarcerated. Essentially, what they've decided is a lot

0:27:16.280 --> 0:27:21.080
<v Speaker 2>of institutions penitentiaries have decided the best investment they can

0:27:21.080 --> 0:27:24.639
<v Speaker 2>make them morale and also decreasing violence isn't food.

0:27:25.200 --> 0:27:25.880
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know that.

0:27:26.600 --> 0:27:31.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's and then in Europe they found out cats.

0:27:31.840 --> 0:27:35.520
<v Speaker 2>Giving a giving a prisoner a cat for good behavior

0:27:36.320 --> 0:27:41.080
<v Speaker 2>takes violent makes violent criminals much less likely to be

0:27:41.160 --> 0:27:43.719
<v Speaker 2>violent because they've become so attached and it's such an

0:27:43.720 --> 0:27:49.679
<v Speaker 2>incredible incentive for them, but also any incremental improvement in

0:27:49.720 --> 0:27:52.520
<v Speaker 2>food in a prison I believe makes it less likely,

0:27:53.880 --> 0:27:55.280
<v Speaker 2>less prone to violence.

0:27:55.760 --> 0:27:58.480
<v Speaker 1>I can believe that. Understand that we've been talking about.

0:27:59.520 --> 0:28:01.879
<v Speaker 1>I met Jamie Oliver. Do you know who Jamie Oliver is?

0:28:01.960 --> 0:28:04.760
<v Speaker 1>I do, yes, Yeah, And he worked for the River Cafe.

0:28:04.880 --> 0:28:05.480
<v Speaker 3>You're kidding.

0:28:05.560 --> 0:28:08.000
<v Speaker 1>He ends a lot of his time and I'm involved

0:28:08.000 --> 0:28:11.119
<v Speaker 1>in his You know, the campaign to give kids food

0:28:11.119 --> 0:28:14.320
<v Speaker 1>to eat at school. Shocking that you have to qualify

0:28:14.520 --> 0:28:17.320
<v Speaker 1>for a lunch by your parents. You know, we should

0:28:17.359 --> 0:28:19.760
<v Speaker 1>all be thinking about how we feed our children.

0:28:20.600 --> 0:28:22.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you brought up a memory that I thought of.

0:28:23.000 --> 0:28:24.919
<v Speaker 2>I was in the I used to leave the fourth

0:28:25.000 --> 0:28:28.400
<v Speaker 2>period English in the fifth grade early to go work

0:28:28.400 --> 0:28:30.520
<v Speaker 2>in the cafeteria where I'd serve the kids. You know,

0:28:30.560 --> 0:28:32.840
<v Speaker 2>you put in the ice cream scooper into the potato

0:28:32.920 --> 0:28:35.520
<v Speaker 2>salad and we're I don't call it a hairnet, and

0:28:35.600 --> 0:28:38.280
<v Speaker 2>I get free lunch, and I would say for I

0:28:38.280 --> 0:28:40.360
<v Speaker 2>would say fifty five cents a day. My mom said

0:28:40.360 --> 0:28:42.880
<v Speaker 2>I could keep them money. I was very focused on

0:28:42.920 --> 0:28:46.360
<v Speaker 2>money from a very young age. But yeah, it's not

0:28:47.280 --> 0:28:52.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean just going to bigger, more important issues. We

0:28:52.520 --> 0:28:57.080
<v Speaker 2>have government policies that basically make sure that seniors never

0:28:57.120 --> 0:29:00.680
<v Speaker 2>go hungry, and I think that's important, but we're less

0:29:00.680 --> 0:29:03.400
<v Speaker 2>concerned about kids going hungry. In the United States, one

0:29:03.440 --> 0:29:07.480
<v Speaker 2>in five households with kids as food and secure. And

0:29:08.160 --> 0:29:11.760
<v Speaker 2>we have, essentially in the US such a senior electorate,

0:29:11.880 --> 0:29:15.600
<v Speaker 2>and seniors are such a powerful voting block that in

0:29:15.600 --> 0:29:17.640
<v Speaker 2>a democracy, when you can vote yourself more money, you

0:29:17.680 --> 0:29:21.000
<v Speaker 2>do so. In the United States, we had a nine

0:29:21.040 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 2>percent increased cost of living adjustment and.

0:29:23.160 --> 0:29:25.240
<v Speaker 3>Social Security recipt for Social Security.

0:29:25.000 --> 0:29:28.040
<v Speaker 2>Recipients, but the child tax credit got stripped out of

0:29:28.080 --> 0:29:31.840
<v Speaker 2>the infrastructure bill. So if you want to talk about

0:29:32.280 --> 0:29:37.480
<v Speaker 2>capital and ensuring who gets fed, it's pretty easy. Kids

0:29:37.480 --> 0:29:39.760
<v Speaker 2>don't vote and so they don't get the kind of

0:29:39.920 --> 0:29:43.520
<v Speaker 2>opportunities for healthy food. I mean, they say that the

0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:47.920
<v Speaker 2>one of the biggest gaps in academic achievement in the

0:29:48.040 --> 0:29:56.080
<v Speaker 2>US is solely a function of kids come to school hungry.

0:30:02.560 --> 0:30:06.440
<v Speaker 1>To go to a completely other thing. Your concerns about

0:30:07.200 --> 0:30:10.800
<v Speaker 1>Google and about what the information that we get, it's

0:30:11.040 --> 0:30:15.120
<v Speaker 1>very crucial to restaurants to have a source that we

0:30:15.200 --> 0:30:18.360
<v Speaker 1>can you know, people can find the restaurant on Google Maps,

0:30:18.440 --> 0:30:22.440
<v Speaker 1>but there is a relationship between that and how we

0:30:22.840 --> 0:30:26.240
<v Speaker 1>book tables, how we find it. What is your feeling

0:30:26.320 --> 0:30:28.200
<v Speaker 1>about how we control the monopoly.

0:30:28.520 --> 0:30:32.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, look, I'm I'm a believer that there's too much

0:30:32.400 --> 0:30:34.960
<v Speaker 2>power in too few hands when it comes to big tech.

0:30:35.680 --> 0:30:38.360
<v Speaker 2>That the fact that you really have no choice but

0:30:38.440 --> 0:30:42.000
<v Speaker 2>to be on Google and that you know the utility

0:30:42.080 --> 0:30:45.960
<v Speaker 2>is amazing. Google Maps is amazing, Trip Advisor kind of

0:30:46.040 --> 0:30:49.800
<v Speaker 2>honest open reviews is amazing. I think the bigger problem is,

0:30:50.360 --> 0:30:54.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, your grandkids who have this incentive system to

0:30:55.600 --> 0:30:59.480
<v Speaker 2>put themselves in vulnerable positions, or pose and provocative clothing,

0:31:00.240 --> 0:31:02.640
<v Speaker 2>or even be on a on a social media app

0:31:02.760 --> 0:31:08.160
<v Speaker 2>where they might get bullied. Yeah, yeah, I mean you

0:31:08.240 --> 0:31:11.320
<v Speaker 2>know this. You have of your business, you have your

0:31:11.680 --> 0:31:14.440
<v Speaker 2>your your friends, you have your kids and your grandkids.

0:31:15.000 --> 0:31:17.080
<v Speaker 2>Something comes off the tracks with one of your kids

0:31:17.080 --> 0:31:18.520
<v Speaker 2>and your whole world shrinks to that kid.

0:31:18.600 --> 0:31:20.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:31:20.680 --> 0:31:23.800
<v Speaker 2>And there's just no denying the evidence. My colleague Jonathan

0:31:23.840 --> 0:31:26.160
<v Speaker 2>Hight at NYU has done great work here. When social

0:31:26.800 --> 0:31:32.120
<v Speaker 2>media went on mobile phones, teen depression exploded. And I

0:31:32.160 --> 0:31:34.120
<v Speaker 2>think when we look back on the serah big tech,

0:31:34.240 --> 0:31:36.880
<v Speaker 2>which is what you were asking about, I think we'll

0:31:36.920 --> 0:31:39.520
<v Speaker 2>regret the monopoly power. I think we'll regret some of

0:31:39.560 --> 0:31:44.200
<v Speaker 2>the abuse of corporate monopolies. I think we'll regret election

0:31:45.040 --> 0:31:49.280
<v Speaker 2>and vaccine miss and disinformation. But hands down, Ruthie, the

0:31:49.320 --> 0:31:51.560
<v Speaker 2>thing we're going to regret most about this aram big

0:31:51.600 --> 0:31:55.000
<v Speaker 2>tech is we're going to ask ourselves, how did we

0:31:55.080 --> 0:31:55.760
<v Speaker 2>let that happen.

0:31:55.640 --> 0:31:56.240
<v Speaker 3>To our kids?

0:31:57.680 --> 0:32:00.520
<v Speaker 2>And a little girl can afford fir teen year old

0:32:00.520 --> 0:32:03.240
<v Speaker 2>girl can go into her room and her parents don't

0:32:03.280 --> 0:32:06.440
<v Speaker 2>know what's going on, and she gets bullied online and

0:32:06.520 --> 0:32:09.040
<v Speaker 2>the algorithms and then she starts thinking, getting really upset,

0:32:09.080 --> 0:32:12.280
<v Speaker 2>really fast at a very vulnerable age. And boys bully

0:32:12.320 --> 0:32:15.560
<v Speaker 2>physically and verbally, girls bully relationally, and we put these

0:32:15.600 --> 0:32:18.160
<v Speaker 2>nuclear weapons in their hands, and just to acknowledge the

0:32:18.200 --> 0:32:22.920
<v Speaker 2>sexes can be different is considered politically incorrect, but biology.

0:32:22.360 --> 0:32:23.520
<v Speaker 3>Does affirm this.

0:32:24.960 --> 0:32:27.000
<v Speaker 2>The girl gets and this happened, and this is happening

0:32:27.000 --> 0:32:31.960
<v Speaker 2>all over the world. Girl gets incredibly upset, starts engaging

0:32:31.960 --> 0:32:35.880
<v Speaker 2>in suicidal ideation or ideas around self harm, and then

0:32:35.920 --> 0:32:39.560
<v Speaker 2>the algorithms pick up on this and no joke will

0:32:39.600 --> 0:32:44.760
<v Speaker 2>start sending her images around suicide and affirming these suicidal

0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:50.520
<v Speaker 2>ideation thoughts. And these organizations don't take responsibility for it

0:32:50.800 --> 0:32:53.680
<v Speaker 2>because they're monopolies, so they don't have to do anything

0:32:53.680 --> 0:32:58.720
<v Speaker 2>about it. They have captured our elected representatives with money,

0:32:58.760 --> 0:33:01.760
<v Speaker 2>so they're not subject to the same liability when these

0:33:01.800 --> 0:33:06.479
<v Speaker 2>things happen. So our youth is really paying the price

0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:09.120
<v Speaker 2>for what I'll call.

0:33:09.040 --> 0:33:11.040
<v Speaker 3>The big tech monopoly.

0:33:11.120 --> 0:33:16.120
<v Speaker 2>Young Men are being radicalized on YouTube, girls are self harm,

0:33:16.440 --> 0:33:21.280
<v Speaker 2>self cutting, have all skyrocketed's and social aeon mobile, and

0:33:21.440 --> 0:33:24.440
<v Speaker 2>they will claim that these are difficult problems to represent society,

0:33:24.520 --> 0:33:25.520
<v Speaker 2>which is just bs.

0:33:25.560 --> 0:33:27.960
<v Speaker 3>These are problems we could solve. We age gate.

0:33:28.840 --> 0:33:30.800
<v Speaker 2>I can't order a glass of wine if I'm twenty

0:33:30.840 --> 0:33:33.320
<v Speaker 2>years old in your restaurant, but a fourteen year old

0:33:33.320 --> 0:33:34.560
<v Speaker 2>girl can go on Instagram.

0:33:34.720 --> 0:33:35.640
<v Speaker 3>That makes no sense to me.

0:33:35.720 --> 0:33:38.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, first time I ever saw you was it

0:33:38.360 --> 0:33:44.360
<v Speaker 1>Alexander Musaviza Day's opening of her company, and you talked

0:33:44.400 --> 0:33:48.040
<v Speaker 1>about I thought so well about the fact that it

0:33:48.120 --> 0:33:54.080
<v Speaker 1>is a government's responsibility to control this. Am I correct?

0:33:54.640 --> 0:33:55.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I don't think.

0:33:55.760 --> 0:33:59.440
<v Speaker 2>I think that we erroneously or naively expect the better

0:33:59.520 --> 0:34:02.160
<v Speaker 2>angels big tech leadership to show up at some point,

0:34:03.080 --> 0:34:06.280
<v Speaker 2>and they're focused on profits. There are for profit entity

0:34:07.200 --> 0:34:10.640
<v Speaker 2>they all want, you know, the people at Altria. The

0:34:10.680 --> 0:34:13.560
<v Speaker 2>people at Exxon aren't necessarily bad people, but they are

0:34:13.600 --> 0:34:15.560
<v Speaker 2>going to do whatever they can to make more money,

0:34:15.600 --> 0:34:16.520
<v Speaker 2>get the share price up.

0:34:16.560 --> 0:34:17.160
<v Speaker 3>That's legal.

0:34:17.640 --> 0:34:21.440
<v Speaker 2>That is a cornerstone of a capitalist society. But what

0:34:21.520 --> 0:34:24.080
<v Speaker 2>we've decided is that a auto company shouldn't be able

0:34:24.080 --> 0:34:26.000
<v Speaker 2>to pour mercury into the river, or there should be

0:34:26.040 --> 0:34:30.000
<v Speaker 2>carbon limits, or pesticides should be tested by the FDA,

0:34:30.800 --> 0:34:33.759
<v Speaker 2>And so we don't imply we don't apply those same

0:34:33.800 --> 0:34:36.920
<v Speaker 2>standards to big tech. And to a certain extent, the

0:34:36.920 --> 0:34:39.040
<v Speaker 2>person that's culpable is the man and the woman in

0:34:39.040 --> 0:34:42.719
<v Speaker 2>the mirror, and that is until we elect or specifically

0:34:42.800 --> 0:34:46.240
<v Speaker 2>kick people out of office that aren't implementing a fraction

0:34:47.080 --> 0:34:49.960
<v Speaker 2>of the laws and regulation and deterrence we have placed

0:34:50.000 --> 0:34:54.520
<v Speaker 2>across There's more regulation inside the mic you are speaking

0:34:54.560 --> 0:34:58.160
<v Speaker 2>into than there is a cross Oliver tech. And I

0:34:58.160 --> 0:35:01.960
<v Speaker 2>think about the regulation in your rest around fire safety,

0:35:02.040 --> 0:35:07.960
<v Speaker 2>food safety, exit signs, well lit, disability, you know, accessible

0:35:08.040 --> 0:35:11.239
<v Speaker 2>for people with disabilities. I think there are there are

0:35:11.400 --> 0:35:16.800
<v Speaker 2>hundreds of not thousands, of laws regulating your restaurant. Because

0:35:16.840 --> 0:35:19.640
<v Speaker 2>people say, we want to prevent a tragedy to commons,

0:35:19.640 --> 0:35:22.280
<v Speaker 2>we want to prevent sickness. We want to prevent employee abuse,

0:35:22.760 --> 0:35:26.600
<v Speaker 2>we want to prevent unnecessary dusts from fire. There's none

0:35:26.680 --> 0:35:29.319
<v Speaker 2>of that in big tech, none of it. It is

0:35:29.360 --> 0:35:31.759
<v Speaker 2>literally the wild West, and it's our fault for not

0:35:31.840 --> 0:35:33.440
<v Speaker 2>demanding more from our elected represents.

0:35:33.440 --> 0:35:35.919
<v Speaker 1>I mean, as you know, I agree with everything you say,

0:35:35.920 --> 0:35:39.120
<v Speaker 1>and I also, you know, when we won't go into Brexit.

0:35:39.160 --> 0:35:42.880
<v Speaker 1>But you know, I really welcomed the rules of the EU,

0:35:43.160 --> 0:35:46.760
<v Speaker 1>about the rules we had to follow, about cleanliness, about health,

0:35:46.800 --> 0:35:50.279
<v Speaker 1>about separation of cooked food and raw food, And why

0:35:50.280 --> 0:35:52.840
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't you want that? You know, I thought, bring it on,

0:35:53.160 --> 0:35:55.279
<v Speaker 1>you know, because if I was just the owner of

0:35:55.280 --> 0:35:58.080
<v Speaker 1>the restaurant, and might you know, does it cost me

0:35:58.120 --> 0:35:59.920
<v Speaker 1>more money? I have to throw food away, I have

0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:03.040
<v Speaker 1>to hire more cleaners, I have to get better refrigeration.

0:36:03.320 --> 0:36:06.400
<v Speaker 1>But that's the deal. That's what we need and want.

0:36:06.520 --> 0:36:08.760
<v Speaker 1>And so I think in this world, we worry about

0:36:08.880 --> 0:36:12.400
<v Speaker 1>our kids, we worry about, you know, the future, and

0:36:12.480 --> 0:36:14.840
<v Speaker 1>sometimes we do need some comfort. It seems like you

0:36:14.880 --> 0:36:17.120
<v Speaker 1>have a lot of places to go for comfort from

0:36:17.320 --> 0:36:23.680
<v Speaker 1>your family, from your kids, probably your students, their colleagues,

0:36:23.719 --> 0:36:26.719
<v Speaker 1>but maybe you also get sometimes some comfort from food.

0:36:26.840 --> 0:36:29.960
<v Speaker 1>Scott so I was wondering, if you do need comfort

0:36:30.040 --> 0:36:32.279
<v Speaker 1>from food, is there something that you would go for.

0:36:33.160 --> 0:36:40.040
<v Speaker 2>I have spent my life pursuing financial security, which is

0:36:40.080 --> 0:36:48.359
<v Speaker 2>an elegantly I'm saying money, relevance, status, experiences, affirmation from strangers,

0:36:50.440 --> 0:36:52.319
<v Speaker 2>and it was really rewarding and I got a lot

0:36:52.320 --> 0:36:55.680
<v Speaker 2>of it, but it was never enough. Yeah, Okay, I'm

0:36:55.760 --> 0:36:58.759
<v Speaker 2>at an amazing party or New Year's in Saint Bart's. Well,

0:36:58.760 --> 0:37:00.960
<v Speaker 2>I wonder if there's a more awesome place. I'm dating

0:37:01.000 --> 0:37:04.440
<v Speaker 2>this interesting, attractive woman. Well, is there a more interesting,

0:37:04.480 --> 0:37:08.080
<v Speaker 2>more attractive woman. I just made a bunch of money

0:37:08.080 --> 0:37:09.799
<v Speaker 2>selling a company. Well, is there a way I could

0:37:09.840 --> 0:37:11.880
<v Speaker 2>build a medium sized company and sell it for a

0:37:11.920 --> 0:37:14.319
<v Speaker 2>crazy It was always rewarding, but it.

0:37:14.239 --> 0:37:15.680
<v Speaker 3>Was never enough.

0:37:16.440 --> 0:37:19.040
<v Speaker 2>And the only time I ever feel like, Okay, this

0:37:19.120 --> 0:37:23.680
<v Speaker 2>is enough is when I'm with my boys and my

0:37:23.680 --> 0:37:27.880
<v Speaker 2>my spouse, and oftentimes that's in the context of food.

0:37:28.840 --> 0:37:31.480
<v Speaker 2>It's not it's not the food that makes it. Quite frankly,

0:37:31.600 --> 0:37:34.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm not a foodie. But when we're all just sitting

0:37:34.640 --> 0:37:39.279
<v Speaker 2>there together, whether it's eating breakfast or at a nice

0:37:39.320 --> 0:37:41.279
<v Speaker 2>place where my kids are rolling their eyes and we're

0:37:41.280 --> 0:37:43.760
<v Speaker 2>trying to get them to appreciate the surroundings and the food.

0:37:44.600 --> 0:37:47.800
<v Speaker 2>That is everything we do here, everything we're doing here today.

0:37:49.040 --> 0:37:52.759
<v Speaker 2>You know this podcast, trying to make a living, trying

0:37:52.800 --> 0:37:56.880
<v Speaker 2>to be relevant. It's all a means and the ends

0:37:57.400 --> 0:37:59.120
<v Speaker 2>is deep and meaningful relationships.

0:37:59.200 --> 0:37:59.600
<v Speaker 3>That's it.

0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:02.359
<v Speaker 2>Every study on happiness comes down to this. Across every

0:38:02.360 --> 0:38:04.440
<v Speaker 2>culture in geography. Do you have friends that make you

0:38:04.520 --> 0:38:07.600
<v Speaker 2>feel give you a sense of camaraderie, and do they

0:38:07.600 --> 0:38:11.480
<v Speaker 2>feel a sense of camaraderie from you? Amongst your we're colleagues,

0:38:11.520 --> 0:38:13.480
<v Speaker 2>do you have people respect and admire and do they

0:38:13.480 --> 0:38:16.000
<v Speaker 2>respect to my you? And most importantly, across your family,

0:38:16.040 --> 0:38:19.200
<v Speaker 2>do you feel an intense level of love and support?

0:38:19.360 --> 0:38:23.000
<v Speaker 2>And most importantly, do you know they know they are

0:38:23.040 --> 0:38:26.719
<v Speaker 2>intensely loved and supported? And those moments of still where

0:38:26.760 --> 0:38:29.279
<v Speaker 2>you think, okay, this might be enough.

0:38:29.760 --> 0:38:32.560
<v Speaker 3>This is it? Oftentimes involve food.

0:38:33.280 --> 0:38:38.879
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Scott, thank you soon. Yeah, come and see me. Yeah,

0:38:39.280 --> 0:38:40.080
<v Speaker 1>I'll hold your hand.

0:38:40.440 --> 0:38:41.799
<v Speaker 3>I'd like that. I like that.

0:38:49.920 --> 0:38:51.680
<v Speaker 1>Are you okay with reading a recipe?

0:38:51.800 --> 0:38:54.920
<v Speaker 3>I think it's I think it's inorganic. I don't I

0:38:55.040 --> 0:38:55.279
<v Speaker 3>love it.

0:38:55.239 --> 0:38:58.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't think you're necessary. Yeah, I think it's a

0:38:58.080 --> 0:39:02.680
<v Speaker 1>foreign thing into a flow of conversation. Yeah, all right,

0:39:02.719 --> 0:39:06.040
<v Speaker 1>you're the first person in ninety two episodes who didn't

0:39:06.040 --> 0:39:12.680
<v Speaker 1>read a recipe, So there you go. I like it too, Okay, thanks, thank.

0:39:12.440 --> 0:39:21.160
<v Speaker 3>You, ruth By Now Ruthie's Table four is produced by

0:39:21.200 --> 0:39:25.600
<v Speaker 3>Atami Studios for iHeartRadio. It's hosted by Ruthie Rodgers. It's

0:39:25.640 --> 0:39:29.560
<v Speaker 3>produced by William Lensky. Our executive producers are Sad Rogers

0:39:29.560 --> 0:39:33.120
<v Speaker 3>and Fay Stewart. Our production manager is Caitlin Paramount. Our

0:39:33.120 --> 0:39:36.799
<v Speaker 3>production coordinator is Bella Selini. Special thanks to everyone at

0:39:36.840 --> 0:39:43.279
<v Speaker 3>the River Cafe.