1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: I am often asked who would be the person I'd 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: most like to see walk through the doors of the 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: River Cafe. I usually say Nelson Mandela, but he's not coming, 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: so then it really depends on what I'm reading, watching, 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: or listening to. For months, the top of my list 6 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: has been Scott Galloway, whose Profgy podcast is where I 7 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: go to be informed and inspired. Scott opens up subjects 8 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: I hardly know about, tech, entrepreneurism, social media, AI, financial 9 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: markets up and down, and yesterday actually something I do 10 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 1: know about olive oil. But this is not just what 11 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 1: compelled me to invite him to lunch when I heard 12 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 1: he'd move to London. It was that this professor of 13 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: marketing at the New York University Stuart School of Business 14 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: gives his salary back to the university and talks about loneliness, isolation, 15 00:00:55,480 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 1: connection and belonging. He worries about the disenfranchised and lonely 16 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: young man. Scott is tough and he's direct, but he's compassionate, 17 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: he's honest, and he's probing. And that is a person 18 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 1: who I'm listening to most these days, and who has 19 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: just walked through the doors of the River Cafe to 20 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: sit down with me at table. 21 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,839 Speaker 2: Four Ruthie, so that is this is absolutely a first. 22 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 2: I have never had my name mentioned in the same 23 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 2: sentence as Nelson Mandela. I think you said it impossibly, hye, Bar. 24 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 2: You don't hear Nelson Mandela and Scott Galloway a lot. 25 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 2: But it's great to be with you. I realize that 26 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 2: you're interviewing me, but I just have a couple of 27 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,119 Speaker 2: things I want to I want to get off my chest. 28 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,839 Speaker 2: I didn't realize that you're literally the most powerful person 29 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 2: in the world. Anyone I meet who's who's powerful. It's like, oh, yeah, 30 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 2: I'm coming to London and I'm staying with Ruthie or 31 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 2: I'm seeing Ruthie. 32 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 3: You really know everybody. 33 00:01:55,760 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 2: And also just a quick story. You did something that 34 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 2: was very impactful and I don't know if you know 35 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 2: what this is, but we had never met. I was 36 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 2: regretting accepting the lunch invitation. I didn't know the River Cafe. 37 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 2: I didn't know you. It just popped up on my 38 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,519 Speaker 2: calendar and I got there and you're lovely, and obviously 39 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 2: I found out this is an iconic establishment. And I 40 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 2: don't know if you remember this, but about twenty or 41 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,839 Speaker 2: thirty minutes into the lunch, I was talking. I think 42 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,919 Speaker 2: I was talking about my sons, and you just very 43 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 2: casually held my hand and it was at first kind 44 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 2: of shocking and a bit rattling, and you did it 45 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 2: two or three more times throughout the lunch, and by 46 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 2: the end of the lunch, I was not only comfortable 47 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 2: with it, but I was really moved by it, and 48 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 2: I thought, I wish more people had the confidence to 49 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 2: express that sort of affection physically. And it taught me 50 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: that that was the most impactful thing about our lunch, 51 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 2: that this person who I had never met before had 52 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 2: the confidence the affection to like hold my hand. 53 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 3: It really sort of stilled me. 54 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 1: I kind of do remember, because I was a little 55 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: scared that you'd actually accepted the invitation and that you 56 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: were coming. And I suppose I wanted to. I don't know. 57 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: It was like a first kit meeting, but it was 58 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: over food. It was in the restaurant. I wanted to. 59 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: I guess I wanted to impress you. I wanted it 60 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 1: to be good, and I remember we talked and then 61 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: I think I asked you advice, and again you were 62 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: just so focused on it. You just kind of talk 63 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:41,840 Speaker 1: to me in a way that really engaged and I 64 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: was very touched by that, and so maybe that was 65 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: for me an important moment. And then reaching out for 66 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: your hand. I don't remember doing it, but I guess 67 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: I did, And if I did, it was because I 68 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: at that point I felt comfortable. 69 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 2: Well for whatever reason, very few people feel that comfort 70 00:03:58,960 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 2: with me. 71 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 3: We stood out and I loved it. I would tell 72 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 3: you to continue. 73 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: To do it. Okay, we'll come over. What are you 74 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: doing this afternoon? 75 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 3: Anytime? That's right, that's right. 76 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:18,679 Speaker 1: I like that. So I don't know how food connects 77 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 1: with you well, but we might try and find that 78 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: out in this conversation, because for me, having doing these 79 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: podcasts is getting to know somebody through food. And it 80 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: can be a senator, it can be a footballer, it 81 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: can be a rock star, it can be somebody had 82 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,559 Speaker 1: met on the beach in Mexico. And when you start 83 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: talking about food, maybe it brings up memory. So I 84 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: was thinking about you know your mother, which I know 85 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: you talk about your mother, you talk about her in 86 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: your podcast when you're talking at night, And I was 87 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: wondering about connection as a child. 88 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 3: So I was very I do a lot of this. 89 00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 2: I'm my guests on a lot of podcasts, and I was, 90 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:04,679 Speaker 2: I think, more self conscious about this one than most 91 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 2: of not all of them, because the reality is ruthy 92 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 2: is I'm not a foodie and food is almost I 93 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 2: don't want to call it a tax. But my mother 94 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,039 Speaker 2: I was raised by a single mother. We didn't have 95 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 2: a lot of money. She worked full time as a 96 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 2: secretary and was British, so it wasn't exactly like fantastic. 97 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 3: I joked with. 98 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 2: Food was punishment of my household. We used to every 99 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 2: Sunday night she'd make a big vat. She was very busy. 100 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 2: It was just the two of us. She'd make a 101 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 2: big vat of shepherd's pie and then freeze it. And 102 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 2: every day or five in the next seven nights, when 103 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 2: I get home from school, I would put a slice 104 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 2: of this frozen shepherd's pie in a microwave that felt 105 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 2: like it was Chernobyl before it exploded. And so I 106 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 2: didn't grow up with what I'll call real inspired food. 107 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 2: In addition, I think I suffer a little bit from 108 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 2: body to small. I don't I have trouble, and no 109 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 2: one's going to feel sorry for this. I have trouble 110 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 2: keeping weight on, so I've always had to eat more. 111 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 2: I was an athlete when I was younger, and my 112 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 2: coaches I always said one thing and need to gain weight. 113 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 2: So I think I'm probably going to win the award 114 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 2: for the least foodie person on this podcast. And I 115 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,280 Speaker 2: was thinking about what if she asked me one of 116 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 2: my favorite restaurants. I don't go to restaurants. I don't 117 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 2: go for the food. I go for the environment. And 118 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,919 Speaker 2: food for me is like wine. It tops out at 119 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 2: about thirty bucks a bottle. I just don't have that 120 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,280 Speaker 2: refined palate. So I go to places that have good food. 121 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 2: But I'm more about the environment and a place that 122 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 2: I'll enjoy being. But I'm not you know my Anyways, 123 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 2: going back to original question on Sunday nights in college, 124 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 2: I lived at home for the first year and I 125 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,039 Speaker 2: used to come home. I call it I came home. 126 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 2: And that is when I was sixteen and seventeen, I 127 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 2: did what most young men did, and that is I 128 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,919 Speaker 2: started to be a bit of a jerk to my 129 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 2: mother or I was just rebelling and. 130 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 3: I wasn't mean. 131 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,159 Speaker 2: There's a biological and an anthrological catalyst that makes it 132 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 2: easier for kids to leave the household, and that is 133 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 2: when they turn into teens, they become unbearable and it 134 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 2: makes it easier for everybody. And then I kind of 135 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 2: came home. When you're like nineteen or twenty, you realize, 136 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 2: you know, it's me and my mom against the world. 137 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,240 Speaker 2: She was the only person was irrationally passionate about my 138 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 2: well being. And I used to go home a lot 139 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 2: and she'd always cook for me, and it'd always be 140 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 2: the same thing. 141 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: Did she make. 142 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 2: She'd always make a roast, yeah, and a roast and potatoes, 143 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 2: very British, and I think that's probably why I love 144 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 2: meat and potatoes so much. 145 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 3: But that was where food sort of turned to love 146 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 3: for me. 147 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 1: That was the one place now and when you were 148 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: going back to the shepherd's pie that you heat it 149 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: up in the microwave. And you know, I have to 150 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: say that I obviously I love people who cook. I 151 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 1: love the idea of cooking for our children. I like 152 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: the idea of sitting down to a meal. But I 153 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: really have a lot of respect and admiration for women 154 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: who who don't you know, who have you know, they 155 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: might they might have to work that night and not 156 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: be able to cook. They might have not have the money, 157 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: or they might not know how to, and so I 158 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: don't judge. I'm not one of those people that says, oh, 159 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: everything should be fresh and everything should be picked locally, 160 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: and you know, it's what I do. But I don't 161 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: think it's politically or socially or morally right to put 162 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,320 Speaker 1: that pressure on people who can't do it or don't 163 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 1: know how to do it. Where was your mom? Was 164 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 1: she she was working at night or did she? Was 165 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:33,959 Speaker 1: she doing something else? 166 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 2: My mom worked pretty hard, lived and died a secretary, 167 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 2: but obviously she was the only you know, it was 168 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 2: just me and her. She was a sole breadwinner and 169 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 2: she had to commute drive into the San Fernando Valley, 170 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 2: so she had sort of an hour plus commute each way. 171 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 2: But I did get exposure to I did get exposure 172 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 2: to wonderful food. My best friend out of Markman, his mother, 173 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 2: Devora Markman, was one of these people who just went 174 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,079 Speaker 2: into a kitchen and was like watching an F one 175 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 2: driver get into an automobile. She was just so one 176 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,319 Speaker 2: with the kitchen and the way she expressed love was 177 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 2: I would walk through the door and Adam and I 178 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 2: would walk through the door and she'd just start whether 179 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 2: she wouldn't ask us if you were armed, or she'd 180 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 2: just start cooking. And it was just such obvious like 181 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 2: affection for her, and she was so wonderful at it. 182 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 2: And I remember for the first time thinking, wow, this taste, 183 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,960 Speaker 2: this salad tastes really good, Like what did she do here? 184 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 3: But yeah, that you know it? 185 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: What did she cook? Do you remember what she actually cooked? 186 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 2: Do you remember the She would make things like I 187 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 2: had never heard of, like salmon, you know, in with 188 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 2: some special sauce, and she'd make like a wonderful caesared 189 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 2: salad that would have pieces of grapefruit in it. And 190 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,839 Speaker 2: I never thought that, Oh, you know, when you're a kid, 191 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 2: you don't make the connection that pieces of grapefruit would 192 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 2: go in a salad. And she would make vegetables that 193 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 2: were tolerable, like green beans with with with with with 194 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:58,160 Speaker 2: little shaved almonds, like you start figuring out when you're 195 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 2: that age, when you're a fourteen or fifteen, food starts 196 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,719 Speaker 2: to create this notion of alchemy that's strange things, unexpected, 197 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 2: things that come together that one plus one can equal three. 198 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 2: But it was mostly again about affection that you know, 199 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,239 Speaker 2: my best friend's mom would. 200 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 3: Just that was we walked through the door. 201 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 2: And I didn't realize it till later in life, but 202 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 2: that's how she expressed affection, which she would start cooking. 203 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 1: And what about your mom did she if she didn't 204 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 1: do it through food or do you did you maybe 205 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: when she was making that huge shepherd's pie on a 206 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: Sunday night, that was an act of love, you know 207 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: for her kid. It was going to come home most 208 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: nights and find something to eat. 209 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 2: Always a million things, you know, Ruthie, the you know, 210 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 2: I talk about this a lot on my podcast. I'm 211 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 2: a fifty nine year old man whose whose mother died 212 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 2: twenty years ago and I'm still not over it. And 213 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 2: the you know was it was a million things I 214 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 2: wouldn't I don't think food is one of those ways. 215 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 2: But you know, my mom every morning used to come 216 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 2: in and wake me up and she would be like 217 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 2: she'd in a very hush voice, she goes Scott Scott, like, 218 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 2: trying to wake me up gently. It's only a mother 219 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 2: does that. And when I look back on it, I've 220 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 2: registered remarkable success and prosperity. And the two catalysts for that, 221 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 2: or if I look at the two reasons for that 222 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,839 Speaker 2: is one the generosity of California taxpayers that gave me 223 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 2: a free, accessible education at u CLM Berkeley and started 224 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 2: an upward spiral for me professionally. And also what any 225 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 2: successful person has in their life, and that as I 226 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 2: had someone in their life that was irrationally passionate about 227 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,319 Speaker 2: their well bang. I was more important to my mom 228 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 2: than she was to herself, and that got expressed a 229 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 2: million little ways every day. 230 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: But how do you feel about your children? Is food 231 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: something that you think about expressing love? 232 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 3: Well? 233 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 2: I have a partner in a spouse. It's an outstanding cook, 234 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 2: and she absolutely demonstrates love for all of us. 235 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 3: And I always say to. 236 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 2: Her when I she wakes me up in the morning 237 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 2: and makes me breakfast, makes the kids breakfast. You know 238 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 2: what it's like the moments we are going to remember 239 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 2: the rest of our lives. I think for most of 240 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 2: us that are blessed with healthy, you know, reasonable kids. 241 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 2: You remember those little nights at the banquet, eating dinner 242 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 2: with them, or roaming around a foreign place with them, 243 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 2: with them complaining, you know, but those are the moments 244 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,679 Speaker 2: that's what I say to my wife is I'll say 245 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 2: to it, I'll say I feel loved, And it's usually 246 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 2: in the context of the four of us walking around 247 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 2: some strange city together, or quite frankly, when she cooks 248 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 2: for me and the boys. So that is I don't cook, 249 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 2: but you know, it's food is now a big part 250 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 2: of our household. I'm very healthy part of ousehold. And 251 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 2: one of the things I love about London that I've noticed, 252 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 2: for all the grief London gets about food, A the 253 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 2: food I've been coming here two to five times a 254 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 2: year for fifty years, it's got much better. And two 255 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 2: the groceries I think are actually healthier here. Less preservatives, 256 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,199 Speaker 2: that's my sense. My senses there's less crap and pesticides 257 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,839 Speaker 2: and hormones. So I've actually really enjoyed. I love cooking 258 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 2: at home. For me, cooking at home means I'm at home, 259 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 2: means I'm with people that I love and love me immensely, 260 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 2: and so it's just like it feels right. When I'm 261 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 2: eating out, it's usually because I'm on the road and 262 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 2: it's wonderful. I did wonderful places. But cooking at home 263 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 2: means I'm with the people who care about me. 264 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. Somebody asked me the best restaurant in London other 265 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: than the River Cafe, what's the best restaurant? I always 266 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: say home? You know, you know, I like being home 267 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: and I like cooking home and my my children come, 268 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,719 Speaker 1: or my kids come, there's a you know, some of 269 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: my grandchildren just want the same thing that they always have. Well, 270 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 1: there I have this restaurant. I cook all these things 271 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,359 Speaker 1: and it's like pasta with tomatoesos and tuscan rose potatoes 272 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,680 Speaker 1: and ice cream. You know, there's something that your memory 273 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:48,719 Speaker 1: and that's what I think it does. So starting out 274 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: with saying that you're going to be my guest on 275 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,319 Speaker 1: a podcast about food, without you know, any interests, we've 276 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,720 Speaker 1: already talked about food and your mother and food and 277 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,840 Speaker 1: your kids and food and your wife and you know, 278 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: and home. So it is meaningful, isn't it. I mean, 279 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: it does have a place in our lives one hundred percent. 280 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 3: I don't you know. 281 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 2: This is something we Yeah, I think it would be 282 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 2: impossible to ignore. It's how we spend time together. It's 283 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 2: how we care for each other. It's moved from something 284 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 2: we did for survival to something that's more about community. 285 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 2: It's a way of expressing generosity. You know, I'm really 286 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 2: into dogs, and I now see that my dogs occasionally 287 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,560 Speaker 2: when they first when they were first together and introduced 288 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 2: to each other, they used to guard their food and 289 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 2: get angry at each other. Now occasionally they share their food. 290 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 2: It's kind of how they express love. Like, Okay, I'm 291 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 2: accepting it as part of the pack or the herd 292 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 2: or whatever the term is. But yeah, it's absolutely and 293 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 2: anything that brings us together that we can share in 294 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 2: it requires artisanship and skill and we're giving something to 295 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 2: someone else and you can celebrate it. Yeah, I think 296 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 2: there's just no getting around it. And you're going to 297 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 2: forget more about this and I'm ever going to now. 298 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 1: I think it also talks about culture, doesn't it. You're 299 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: describing walking around a foreign city with your kids, and 300 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 1: the image of that is keeping them safe, being together 301 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: and then experience. I don't know if you do when 302 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: you travel, But do you enjoy travel? Do you like 303 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: going to a city that is mysterious or you have 304 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: to learn about? Are you are you an explorer? Or 305 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: do you do prefer home? Oh? 306 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 3: I do, And I'm fortunate that you know. 307 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 2: Now we get to do a lot of wonderful things 308 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 2: with our kids, and we go to great places. I 309 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 2: spent so much time kind of molesting the earth because 310 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 2: of what I did professionally. I think I've been on 311 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 2: the road probably one hundred and fifty plus days a 312 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 2: year for the last thirty years. And I'm slowing down 313 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 2: now since COVID. I've decided I'm not going to travel 314 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 2: as much. But yeah, I mean it's very simple. Do 315 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 2: I enjoy travel? Are my kids with me? That means, 316 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 2: you know, if my kids aren't with me, it's fine. 317 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 2: I stay nice places, I mean, interesting people, I like working. 318 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 2: If my kids are with me, it means it's going 319 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 2: to be a lot of highs and a lot of lows. 320 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 2: It's but the highs are the highs are worth it. 321 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 2: But yeah, the general observation I have around people ask 322 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 2: me what's the difference between living in Europe and living 323 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 2: in the US. I still think the US is the 324 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 2: best place to make money, but I think Europe is 325 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 2: the best place to spend it. And part of that 326 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 2: is food. There's just more of a you walk into 327 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 2: a restaurant, people want you to slow down. There is 328 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 2: more artisanshipping around food here. I think it's a bigger 329 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 2: part of the culture generally speaking, but that's part of it. 330 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,840 Speaker 2: And I'm in a stage in my life where I 331 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 2: want to, you know, not slow down to a ton, 332 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 2: but I do want to slow down, and some of 333 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 2: that is longer meals. 334 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: I think that when you go to you know, I 335 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: was in Paris recently and I was staying with a friends, 336 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: so I bought a sea bass and I was in 337 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: the taxi cab getting there and then taxi driver said, 338 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: you know, what have you got And I said, I 339 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: just got a sea bass, and he started telling me 340 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: about the way to cook it. And I thought. We 341 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 1: talk about cities having a culture of food and how 342 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: Australia is so exciting because of the food culture, and 343 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: La has a food culture. But when you get actually 344 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 1: somebody who's just grown up with the smell of a 345 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: bass and knowing to cook it and a kind of 346 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,440 Speaker 1: salt or talking about it, I think that person has 347 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: been brought up with a culture of food. Did your 348 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,880 Speaker 1: grandmother was she part of your life? 349 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 2: They weren't in my life. They're all gone by the time, 350 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 2: and my parents and this is a good thing. Smartest 351 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 2: Ang Aberta was being born in America. My parents immigrated 352 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 2: from Scotland and England when they were young, and I 353 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 2: was born in San Diego, but I didn't have any 354 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:34,639 Speaker 2: family around. 355 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 1: Did your father cook? 356 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,919 Speaker 2: Oh no, My father was raised in depressionaire of Scotland 357 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 2: and knew nothing. You know, absolutely no. I think a 358 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,919 Speaker 2: big part of the reason he's been married and divorced 359 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 2: four times is that he couldn't survive without someone taking 360 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 2: care of him. So no, there was We're the least 361 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 2: my at least my meeting family as the least culinary 362 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 2: adept family you're probably going to run across. 363 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 3: So now my father doesn't cook. 364 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: The River Cafe is excited to announce the return of 365 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:18,840 Speaker 1: our Italian Christmas gift boxes, our alternative to the traditional hamper. 366 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,640 Speaker 1: They bring you all of our favorites from the River Cafe, kitchen, 367 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: the vineyards and the designers from all over Italy. They're 368 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: available to pre order now on shop the River Cafe 369 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 1: dot co dot k. When you left home, you're just 370 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 1: describing very movingly coming home to your mother and her 371 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: making you the roast. But when you were living in apartments, 372 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 1: so you were, you know, just starting out or you 373 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 1: had an independence was would you just eat out all 374 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: the time? 375 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 2: So food for me again, for me growing up, I 376 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 2: played sports, but my problem was I was too skinny, 377 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 2: and so, like I said, when I joined Crew at UCLA, 378 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 2: I was put on a diet where I was supposed 379 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:15,200 Speaker 2: to eat eight packs of ramen, six bananas a day, 380 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 2: these protein shakes. 381 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,399 Speaker 3: I was just over. 382 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 2: They told me you got to massively increase your calorie intake. 383 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:26,440 Speaker 2: And I joined a fraternity at UCLA, and the fraternity 384 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 2: was mostly young men from the San Fernando Valley who 385 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:33,880 Speaker 2: came from affluent homes, and during rush week, they would 386 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 2: all talk about how awful the food was. And I 387 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 2: got there and I thought the food was amazing. So 388 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 2: it's all about your benchmark, the fact that there was 389 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 2: someone cooking for us and it was like reasonable food. 390 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 2: I thought it was just incredible. So I think a 391 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 2: lot of it is just your expectations. But my first 392 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,680 Speaker 2: experience with food was in the fraternity where a woman 393 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 2: in mean gene the cooking machine is what we called her. 394 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 2: I remember thinking the food was amazing. 395 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,120 Speaker 1: Do you remember what it? 396 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,280 Speaker 3: Oh? It was really basic. 397 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 2: I mean it was like pancakes and pastrami sandwiches. I mean, 398 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 2: you're cooking food for one hundred and ten twenty one 399 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 2: year old men. I mean this was not this was 400 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 2: not this was not the River Cafe was. This was 401 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 2: how do I get these men fed and back to 402 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 2: school on as little money as possible? And like I said, 403 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 2: I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I 404 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 2: thought the food was amazing. And while all my friends 405 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,040 Speaker 2: from affluent households, whose mothers were probably wonderful cooks, thought 406 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 2: it was just I thought it was amazing. They did 407 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 2: not think. So it's all your benchmarkts, like, what's your 408 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 2: secret to a good marriage? Low expectations? 409 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 3: Right, So. 410 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,719 Speaker 1: I don't know what do you think about low expectations. 411 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: A friend of mine had trouble with her mother, and 412 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,679 Speaker 1: I said, well, you know you're going to visit. You know, 413 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,000 Speaker 1: maybe she'd just lower your expectations. And she said, I 414 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 1: don't want to. I don't want to lower my expectations. 415 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,440 Speaker 1: I want those expectations to stay there. 416 00:20:55,880 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 2: I find my relationships got a lot better, especially. 417 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 1: When you love it them. 418 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 3: Well, it's just so my dad. 419 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 2: We haven't talked about my dad. My dad wasn't what 420 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,800 Speaker 2: i'd call and especially engaged. Father divorced four times, moved 421 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,640 Speaker 2: away when he and my mom got divorced. I saw 422 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,359 Speaker 2: him kind of on holiday. It's not that engaged in 423 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 2: my life. But he was also a much better father 424 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 2: to me than his father was to him, which, when 425 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 2: you think about it, that is the basis of evolution. Yeah, 426 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 2: you check a big box when you're better to your 427 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 2: kids than your parents were to you, because that's your model. 428 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 2: And I just decided at some point, rather than keeping 429 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,440 Speaker 2: score around whether my dad could have been a better 430 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,119 Speaker 2: dabd or not, imagine like what kind of son do 431 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,920 Speaker 2: I want to be? Yeah, and the answers I want 432 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,159 Speaker 2: to be a generous and loving song. So I'm going 433 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 2: to stop keeping score. And I find that stopping putting 434 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 2: away the scorecard with it's your friends, your mates, your parents, 435 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 2: your relationships gets much much healthier when you decide what 436 00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 2: kind of friend, partner, spouse, son do I want to 437 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 2: be and put away the scorecard because it's human nature 438 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 2: to inflate your contributions and deflate theirs, and so you're 439 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,439 Speaker 2: always going to be unhappy, or I think a lot 440 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,439 Speaker 2: of people would be unhappy. And my life has just 441 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 2: gotten so much better when I think to myself, I'd 442 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 2: like to be just a generous, awesome friend and be supportive. 443 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,959 Speaker 2: And if I'm on the right side of things, that's okay. 444 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,479 Speaker 2: If I can contribute more than I get from it, 445 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 2: that's nice. Now for relationship becomes abusive, you're getting nothing 446 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,680 Speaker 2: from it. I'm also a big believer in pairing relationships. 447 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 2: I don't think you have to collect and always maintain 448 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:39,959 Speaker 2: every relationship. But yeah, it's the scorecard. I don't want 449 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 2: to call it low expectations, but just deciding who you 450 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 2: want to be in that relationship and putting away the 451 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,639 Speaker 2: scorecard's been hugely beneficial to me. 452 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 1: Listening to you speak and listening you know, actually most 453 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: nights or most mornings you do really do talk a 454 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 1: lot about the importance of love and of friendship. In 455 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 1: the restaurant, it's kind of equalizer when somebody comes in 456 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 1: and they sit down at the table, and I always 457 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,040 Speaker 1: say to the waiter, just imagine that somebody might have 458 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,199 Speaker 1: saved uptingham here, or they might have had a loss 459 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 1: before they walked in, or they might have gotten lost, 460 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: or there's so many things that happened to in a 461 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: restaurant that you watch the dynamic of people sitting together. 462 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,919 Speaker 1: Most people are really grateful, but being there, you know, 463 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: they thank me or they thank the waiter, but it 464 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:27,000 Speaker 1: creates a kind of immediate intimacy. I think sometimes sitting 465 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 1: down and sharing food. 466 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,879 Speaker 2: I think your restaurant does. And I do think that 467 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 2: small businesses are the closest thing you're going to have 468 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:38,880 Speaker 2: to children that are inorganic, and that is you conceive them. 469 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 2: They look, smell, and feel like you. And your restaurant 470 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 2: is sort of a three dimensional, inorganic version of you, right, 471 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 2: And I think people feel that. And I think the 472 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 2: successful retail establishments and restaurants all have one thing in 473 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,479 Speaker 2: common and successful small companies, and that is the owner 474 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 2: or the largest shareholder is there observing everything. 475 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:03,199 Speaker 3: And I feel that. 476 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 2: And granted, I'm fond of you, so I'm going to 477 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 2: air to the side of compliments here, but that place 478 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 2: feels bright, it feels optimistic, it feels loving. You know, 479 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,159 Speaker 2: it's kind of you. And those are the businesses that 480 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 2: really thrive is you can kind of get a sense 481 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,879 Speaker 2: for the founder in their DNA. I mean, it's the 482 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,879 Speaker 2: closest thing we have to kids that aren't our kids. 483 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,200 Speaker 2: When you start a business, because you're in. 484 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 3: Charge of it. 485 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 2: You decide what resources it's going to get or not yet. 486 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 2: You decide what it's going to kind of look like, 487 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 2: what's going to where, and then it takes on a 488 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 2: life of its own, and some of it you can 489 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:38,119 Speaker 2: can't control. Sometimes it disappoints you, sometimes it delights you. 490 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 2: But I didn't have kids still later in life, and 491 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 2: I also my business is with the closest thing I 492 00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:44,159 Speaker 2: had to children. 493 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 3: In terms of that kind of reward and occasional disappointment. 494 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,679 Speaker 1: Which business did? Must that meaningful to you? 495 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 3: Oh? 496 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 2: I started right out of business school. I started a 497 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 2: strategy firm, and then I started an analytics company, and 498 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 2: then I started an e commerce company. I've started a 499 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 2: bunch of companies. Some of work, some haven't. But when 500 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 2: you're looking back on them, they really do reflect your personality. 501 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,960 Speaker 2: I mean, I look at these companies and for better 502 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:11,439 Speaker 2: or for worse, they were sort of this legal corporate 503 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 2: embodiment of my values. There's just no and I'm sure 504 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 2: that's true of you know. I think I think Amazon 505 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 2: still very much reflects who Jeff Bezos is my way. 506 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 2: What do you mean, Well, I think he's I think 507 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:28,640 Speaker 2: he's very hard charging. I think he's a very demanding person. 508 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:33,719 Speaker 2: I think he's willing to take these enormously bold risks. 509 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,440 Speaker 2: And I think the culture at Amazon very much reflects 510 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,639 Speaker 2: reflects him. That Levi Strauss and Company, the Hawes family 511 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 2: were very paternal and maternal, and the company felt that way. 512 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 2: It was the first company to have a domestic partner benefits. 513 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,879 Speaker 2: They refuse to segregate their factories in the South. They 514 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 2: used they used to get people Fridays off in the 515 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 2: summer and try and nudge them to spend time with 516 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 2: their family. And that was kind of a Hawes family. 517 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 2: That was the founders. Those are the people in charge. 518 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: But those values do go through, you know, they do 519 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: keeping those values and how old Levi's is or you know, 520 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 1: the River Cafe we started with six tables. And you've 521 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 1: talked about your first business. But you do, once they're there, 522 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,760 Speaker 1: you really try and keep them there, don't you. You know, 523 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 1: no matter when you grow, and it's harder sometimes the 524 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: more you grow and the bigger you are. How you 525 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 1: keep that in our place, you know, even with the staff. 526 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,239 Speaker 1: It's also how you feed them. And it's interesting when 527 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 1: I talk to people, whether they're making movies or they're 528 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:36,440 Speaker 1: working in you know, hospitals or their scientists. Is how 529 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 1: do you feed the people who work for you? What 530 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: kind of food do you give them? How do you 531 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,359 Speaker 1: make them feel valued by the fact that you're not 532 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,560 Speaker 1: bringing in cheap food to give them, but you're actually 533 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: one of the chefs every day in the River cafe 534 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,680 Speaker 1: cooks for his colleagues or her colleagues, and it kind 535 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:53,280 Speaker 1: of matters. 536 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 2: Well, even I was thinking about this before the pod 537 00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 2: going up the food chain. When we talk about food, 538 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 2: we tend to talk about. 539 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 3: It in terms of. 540 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 2: I don't know, modern societies and situations of opulence or joys. 541 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,480 Speaker 2: Food takes on a really important meeting in prisons, people 542 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 2: who are incarcerated. Essentially, what they've decided is a lot 543 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:21,080 Speaker 2: of institutions penitentiaries have decided the best investment they can 544 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 2: make them morale and also decreasing violence isn't food. 545 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:25,880 Speaker 1: I didn't know that. 546 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's and then in Europe they found out cats. 547 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 2: Giving a giving a prisoner a cat for good behavior 548 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 2: takes violent makes violent criminals much less likely to be 549 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,719 Speaker 2: violent because they've become so attached and it's such an 550 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:49,679 Speaker 2: incredible incentive for them, but also any incremental improvement in 551 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 2: food in a prison I believe makes it less likely, 552 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 2: less prone to violence. 553 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 1: I can believe that. Understand that we've been talking about. 554 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,879 Speaker 1: I met Jamie Oliver. Do you know who Jamie Oliver is? 555 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 1: I do, yes, Yeah, And he worked for the River Cafe. 556 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 3: You're kidding. 557 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 1: He ends a lot of his time and I'm involved 558 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 1: in his You know, the campaign to give kids food 559 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 1: to eat at school. Shocking that you have to qualify 560 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 1: for a lunch by your parents. You know, we should 561 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,760 Speaker 1: all be thinking about how we feed our children. 562 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, you brought up a memory that I thought of. 563 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,919 Speaker 2: I was in the I used to leave the fourth 564 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,400 Speaker 2: period English in the fifth grade early to go work 565 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 2: in the cafeteria where I'd serve the kids. You know, 566 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 2: you put in the ice cream scooper into the potato 567 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 2: salad and we're I don't call it a hairnet, and 568 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 2: I get free lunch, and I would say for I 569 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 2: would say fifty five cents a day. My mom said 570 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 2: I could keep them money. I was very focused on 571 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 2: money from a very young age. But yeah, it's not 572 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 2: I mean just going to bigger, more important issues. We 573 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 2: have government policies that basically make sure that seniors never 574 00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 2: go hungry, and I think that's important, but we're less 575 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 2: concerned about kids going hungry. In the United States, one 576 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 2: in five households with kids as food and secure. And 577 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 2: we have, essentially in the US such a senior electorate, 578 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 2: and seniors are such a powerful voting block that in 579 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 2: a democracy, when you can vote yourself more money, you 580 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 2: do so. In the United States, we had a nine 581 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 2: percent increased cost of living adjustment and. 582 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 3: Social Security recipt for Social Security. 583 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 2: Recipients, but the child tax credit got stripped out of 584 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 2: the infrastructure bill. So if you want to talk about 585 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 2: capital and ensuring who gets fed, it's pretty easy. Kids 586 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,760 Speaker 2: don't vote and so they don't get the kind of 587 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,520 Speaker 2: opportunities for healthy food. I mean, they say that the 588 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 2: one of the biggest gaps in academic achievement in the 589 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 2: US is solely a function of kids come to school hungry. 590 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: To go to a completely other thing. Your concerns about 591 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: Google and about what the information that we get, it's 592 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: very crucial to restaurants to have a source that we 593 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 1: can you know, people can find the restaurant on Google Maps, 594 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 1: but there is a relationship between that and how we 595 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: book tables, how we find it. What is your feeling 596 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 1: about how we control the monopoly. 597 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 2: Well, look, I'm I'm a believer that there's too much 598 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 2: power in too few hands when it comes to big tech. 599 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 2: That the fact that you really have no choice but 600 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,000 Speaker 2: to be on Google and that you know the utility 601 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 2: is amazing. Google Maps is amazing, Trip Advisor kind of 602 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 2: honest open reviews is amazing. I think the bigger problem is, 603 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 2: you know, your grandkids who have this incentive system to 604 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 2: put themselves in vulnerable positions, or pose and provocative clothing, 605 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,640 Speaker 2: or even be on a on a social media app 606 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 2: where they might get bullied. Yeah, yeah, I mean you 607 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 2: know this. You have of your business, you have your 608 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 2: your your friends, you have your kids and your grandkids. 609 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 2: Something comes off the tracks with one of your kids 610 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 2: and your whole world shrinks to that kid. 611 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. 612 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,800 Speaker 2: And there's just no denying the evidence. My colleague Jonathan 613 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 2: Hight at NYU has done great work here. When social 614 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:32,120 Speaker 2: media went on mobile phones, teen depression exploded. And I 615 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,120 Speaker 2: think when we look back on the serah big tech, 616 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 2: which is what you were asking about, I think we'll 617 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,520 Speaker 2: regret the monopoly power. I think we'll regret some of 618 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 2: the abuse of corporate monopolies. I think we'll regret election 619 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:49,280 Speaker 2: and vaccine miss and disinformation. But hands down, Ruthie, the 620 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,560 Speaker 2: thing we're going to regret most about this aram big 621 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 2: tech is we're going to ask ourselves, how did we 622 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:55,760 Speaker 2: let that happen. 623 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 3: To our kids? 624 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,520 Speaker 2: And a little girl can afford fir teen year old 625 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 2: girl can go into her room and her parents don't 626 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,440 Speaker 2: know what's going on, and she gets bullied online and 627 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,040 Speaker 2: the algorithms and then she starts thinking, getting really upset, 628 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 2: really fast at a very vulnerable age. And boys bully 629 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 2: physically and verbally, girls bully relationally, and we put these 630 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 2: nuclear weapons in their hands, and just to acknowledge the 631 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 2: sexes can be different is considered politically incorrect, but biology. 632 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:23,520 Speaker 3: Does affirm this. 633 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 2: The girl gets and this happened, and this is happening 634 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 2: all over the world. Girl gets incredibly upset, starts engaging 635 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 2: in suicidal ideation or ideas around self harm, and then 636 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 2: the algorithms pick up on this and no joke will 637 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 2: start sending her images around suicide and affirming these suicidal 638 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 2: ideation thoughts. And these organizations don't take responsibility for it 639 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 2: because they're monopolies, so they don't have to do anything 640 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:58,720 Speaker 2: about it. They have captured our elected representatives with money, 641 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 2: so they're not subject to the same liability when these 642 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:06,479 Speaker 2: things happen. So our youth is really paying the price 643 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 2: for what I'll call. 644 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 3: The big tech monopoly. 645 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 2: Young Men are being radicalized on YouTube, girls are self harm, 646 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:21,280 Speaker 2: self cutting, have all skyrocketed's and social aeon mobile, and 647 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 2: they will claim that these are difficult problems to represent society, 648 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 2: which is just bs. 649 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 3: These are problems we could solve. We age gate. 650 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 2: I can't order a glass of wine if I'm twenty 651 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,320 Speaker 2: years old in your restaurant, but a fourteen year old 652 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 2: girl can go on Instagram. 653 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:35,640 Speaker 3: That makes no sense to me. 654 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, first time I ever saw you was it 655 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 1: Alexander Musaviza Day's opening of her company, and you talked 656 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 1: about I thought so well about the fact that it 657 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 1: is a government's responsibility to control this. Am I correct? 658 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:55,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think. 659 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 2: I think that we erroneously or naively expect the better 660 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,160 Speaker 2: angels big tech leadership to show up at some point, 661 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 2: and they're focused on profits. There are for profit entity 662 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:10,640 Speaker 2: they all want, you know, the people at Altria. The 663 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 2: people at Exxon aren't necessarily bad people, but they are 664 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,560 Speaker 2: going to do whatever they can to make more money, 665 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 2: get the share price up. 666 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:17,160 Speaker 3: That's legal. 667 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:21,440 Speaker 2: That is a cornerstone of a capitalist society. But what 668 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 2: we've decided is that a auto company shouldn't be able 669 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 2: to pour mercury into the river, or there should be 670 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:30,000 Speaker 2: carbon limits, or pesticides should be tested by the FDA, 671 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,759 Speaker 2: And so we don't imply we don't apply those same 672 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,920 Speaker 2: standards to big tech. And to a certain extent, the 673 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,040 Speaker 2: person that's culpable is the man and the woman in 674 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,719 Speaker 2: the mirror, and that is until we elect or specifically 675 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,240 Speaker 2: kick people out of office that aren't implementing a fraction 676 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,960 Speaker 2: of the laws and regulation and deterrence we have placed 677 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 2: across There's more regulation inside the mic you are speaking 678 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 2: into than there is a cross Oliver tech. And I 679 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 2: think about the regulation in your rest around fire safety, 680 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 2: food safety, exit signs, well lit, disability, you know, accessible 681 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,239 Speaker 2: for people with disabilities. I think there are there are 682 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:16,800 Speaker 2: hundreds of not thousands, of laws regulating your restaurant. Because 683 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,640 Speaker 2: people say, we want to prevent a tragedy to commons, 684 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,280 Speaker 2: we want to prevent sickness. We want to prevent employee abuse, 685 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,600 Speaker 2: we want to prevent unnecessary dusts from fire. There's none 686 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,319 Speaker 2: of that in big tech, none of it. It is 687 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,759 Speaker 2: literally the wild West, and it's our fault for not 688 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,440 Speaker 2: demanding more from our elected represents. 689 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,919 Speaker 1: I mean, as you know, I agree with everything you say, 690 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,120 Speaker 1: and I also, you know, when we won't go into Brexit. 691 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,880 Speaker 1: But you know, I really welcomed the rules of the EU, 692 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,760 Speaker 1: about the rules we had to follow, about cleanliness, about health, 693 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:50,279 Speaker 1: about separation of cooked food and raw food, And why 694 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,840 Speaker 1: wouldn't you want that? You know, I thought, bring it on, 695 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 1: you know, because if I was just the owner of 696 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 1: the restaurant, and might you know, does it cost me 697 00:35:58,120 --> 00:35:59,920 Speaker 1: more money? I have to throw food away, I have 698 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,040 Speaker 1: to hire more cleaners, I have to get better refrigeration. 699 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,400 Speaker 1: But that's the deal. That's what we need and want. 700 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,760 Speaker 1: And so I think in this world, we worry about 701 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,400 Speaker 1: our kids, we worry about, you know, the future, and 702 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,840 Speaker 1: sometimes we do need some comfort. It seems like you 703 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: have a lot of places to go for comfort from 704 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:23,680 Speaker 1: your family, from your kids, probably your students, their colleagues, 705 00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,719 Speaker 1: but maybe you also get sometimes some comfort from food. 706 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,960 Speaker 1: Scott so I was wondering, if you do need comfort 707 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,279 Speaker 1: from food, is there something that you would go for. 708 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:40,040 Speaker 2: I have spent my life pursuing financial security, which is 709 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:48,359 Speaker 2: an elegantly I'm saying money, relevance, status, experiences, affirmation from strangers, 710 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,319 Speaker 2: and it was really rewarding and I got a lot 711 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,680 Speaker 2: of it, but it was never enough. Yeah, Okay, I'm 712 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,759 Speaker 2: at an amazing party or New Year's in Saint Bart's. Well, 713 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,960 Speaker 2: I wonder if there's a more awesome place. I'm dating 714 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,440 Speaker 2: this interesting, attractive woman. Well, is there a more interesting, 715 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,080 Speaker 2: more attractive woman. I just made a bunch of money 716 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:09,799 Speaker 2: selling a company. Well, is there a way I could 717 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,880 Speaker 2: build a medium sized company and sell it for a 718 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,319 Speaker 2: crazy It was always rewarding, but it. 719 00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:15,680 Speaker 3: Was never enough. 720 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:19,040 Speaker 2: And the only time I ever feel like, Okay, this 721 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 2: is enough is when I'm with my boys and my 722 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:27,880 Speaker 2: my spouse, and oftentimes that's in the context of food. 723 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,480 Speaker 2: It's not it's not the food that makes it. Quite frankly, 724 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,640 Speaker 2: I'm not a foodie. But when we're all just sitting 725 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,279 Speaker 2: there together, whether it's eating breakfast or at a nice 726 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,279 Speaker 2: place where my kids are rolling their eyes and we're 727 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,760 Speaker 2: trying to get them to appreciate the surroundings and the food. 728 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,800 Speaker 2: That is everything we do here, everything we're doing here today. 729 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:52,759 Speaker 2: You know this podcast, trying to make a living, trying 730 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,880 Speaker 2: to be relevant. It's all a means and the ends 731 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,120 Speaker 2: is deep and meaningful relationships. 732 00:37:59,200 --> 00:37:59,600 Speaker 3: That's it. 733 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,359 Speaker 2: Every study on happiness comes down to this. Across every 734 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,440 Speaker 2: culture in geography. Do you have friends that make you 735 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 2: feel give you a sense of camaraderie, and do they 736 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:11,480 Speaker 2: feel a sense of camaraderie from you? Amongst your we're colleagues, 737 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,480 Speaker 2: do you have people respect and admire and do they 738 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,000 Speaker 2: respect to my you? And most importantly, across your family, 739 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 2: do you feel an intense level of love and support? 740 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:23,000 Speaker 2: And most importantly, do you know they know they are 741 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,719 Speaker 2: intensely loved and supported? And those moments of still where 742 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,279 Speaker 2: you think, okay, this might be enough. 743 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 3: This is it? Oftentimes involve food. 744 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:38,879 Speaker 1: Thank you, Scott, thank you soon. Yeah, come and see me. Yeah, 745 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:40,080 Speaker 1: I'll hold your hand. 746 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 3: I'd like that. I like that. 747 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,680 Speaker 1: Are you okay with reading a recipe? 748 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 3: I think it's I think it's inorganic. I don't I 749 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:55,279 Speaker 3: love it. 750 00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,040 Speaker 1: I don't think you're necessary. Yeah, I think it's a 751 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 1: foreign thing into a flow of conversation. Yeah, all right, 752 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:06,040 Speaker 1: you're the first person in ninety two episodes who didn't 753 00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:12,680 Speaker 1: read a recipe, So there you go. I like it too, Okay, thanks, thank. 754 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:21,160 Speaker 3: You, ruth By Now Ruthie's Table four is produced by 755 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:25,600 Speaker 3: Atami Studios for iHeartRadio. It's hosted by Ruthie Rodgers. It's 756 00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:29,560 Speaker 3: produced by William Lensky. Our executive producers are Sad Rogers 757 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,120 Speaker 3: and Fay Stewart. Our production manager is Caitlin Paramount. Our 758 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 3: production coordinator is Bella Selini. Special thanks to everyone at 759 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:43,279 Speaker 3: the River Cafe.