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Speaker 1: Advice shot our friend Rob Naughty but Nice Shooter has

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Speaker 1: worked with some of the biggest stars in the world,

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Speaker 1: j Lo Diddy, bon Jovi, Jessica Simpson, and Alicia Keys,

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Speaker 1: to name a few, and now Rob's debut book, The

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Speaker 1: Forward Answer, is not only a bestseller, but it's also

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Speaker 1: being called the greatest self help book ever by Okay Magazine.

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Speaker 1: So in today's special Year and episode, instead of gossiping

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Speaker 1: about celebrities as we always do, we're going to talk

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Speaker 1: about you. We're gonna get into how you can keep

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Speaker 1: those New Year's resolutions and stop those old bad habits

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Speaker 1: from returning. And we'll talk about why you should not

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Speaker 1: wait until New Year's even to make a change, and

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Speaker 1: what is the best New Year's resolution you could ever make?

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Speaker 1: Rob my friend, are you there? Hello? He love a la,

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Speaker 1: Hello my friend. Hey, it's lovely. Turning the tables a

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Speaker 1: little bit today and getting into this. We normally do

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Speaker 1: a gossip show every single day. We've always got the

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Speaker 1: best gossip on this show. But I thought for the

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Speaker 1: end of year today's special episode, we could talk a

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Speaker 1: little bit about New Year's resolution, some of the things

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Speaker 1: we want to change. I was thinking about this my

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Speaker 1: South Corey. Yesterday I was thinking about what should be

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Speaker 1: my New Year's Eve resolution and how I feel about resolutions.

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Speaker 1: And while I was thinking about it, I remember there's

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Speaker 1: a whole chapter in my book on this, on making change,

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Speaker 1: on having a better life, of thinking about ways to

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Speaker 1: be the best you. So today that's what we're going

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Speaker 1: to focus on. But don't worry, the gossip will be

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Speaker 1: back on Monday. Yes, yes, yes, Well listen around. Before

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Speaker 1: we get into everything, let's start at the beginning. What

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Speaker 1: is what is the foreword answer? It's a very good

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Speaker 1: place to start. When you see you begin. I love

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Speaker 1: that song for the sated music. You know my reference there. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: let's start at the very beginning. The format answer is

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Speaker 1: more than a book. It's it's a tool that changed

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Speaker 1: my life. Let me let me really explain this carefully.

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Speaker 1: So every successful person I've ever met, including all those

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Speaker 1: big names that you mentioned at the top of the show,

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Speaker 1: j Lo and Diddy and Alicia Keys, all these people

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Speaker 1: could describe themselves in just a few simple words, just

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Speaker 1: a few words. So if you asked jal who are you,

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Speaker 1: she could tell you the answer. If you asked, did

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Speaker 1: he who are you? He could tell you the answer.

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Speaker 1: Same with Jessica Simpson, same with the Alicia Keys. In fact,

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Speaker 1: it's the most important question you're ever going to ask yourself?

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Speaker 1: Who am I? Who am I? Look in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and ask yourself that who are you? Who am I?

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Speaker 1: Only those that are comfortable in their own skin know

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Speaker 1: the answer, and only those who know the answer will

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Speaker 1: be successful. That's why it is so important to know

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Speaker 1: who you are. You can't be successful in lie, you

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Speaker 1: can't be happy in life until you know who you are.

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Speaker 1: In the forward answer, I'm going to help you discover

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Speaker 1: exactly who you are in just forwards. Oh, thank you,

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Speaker 1: because we can argues that help, especially now as so

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Speaker 1: many of us are struggling really with the new Year's

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Speaker 1: resolution thing. How do we stick to that and also

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Speaker 1: staff those all bad habits from coming back? You're right

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Speaker 1: now is the time of year when people are really

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Speaker 1: looking inward and asking themselves, why do we want different

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Speaker 1: next year? What's going to be our new Year's resolution?

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Speaker 1: And that really starts by knowing who you are? And

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Speaker 1: that's why you've really got to answer that question who

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Speaker 1: are you? But as far as new Year's resolutions and

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Speaker 1: why we don't keep them, and why those bad habits

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Speaker 1: keep returning. The reason we give up on them is

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Speaker 1: it's much easier to go back to living the old

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Speaker 1: way than making a change, Corey, Change is really hard.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if you're a superstar, if you're you,

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Speaker 1: if you are me, whoever you are in life. Change

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Speaker 1: is really hard. And the minute we lose focus, those

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Speaker 1: naughty habits they come rushing back in. And the reason

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Speaker 1: is because we are creatures of habit. We have to

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Speaker 1: admit that we are creatures of habit. How lives are

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Speaker 1: designed around habits. They're designed to find comfort in our

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Speaker 1: daily routines. Which is why, before very long, without putting

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Speaker 1: up much of a fight, our old habits come back.

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Speaker 1: This is why we have to start new habits to

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Speaker 1: remain alert, and we have to remain focused. You have

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Speaker 1: to remind yourself every single day that you're making a choice.

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Speaker 1: So in the mornings, now, when you look in the

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Speaker 1: mirror every morning and clean your teeth, I know you're

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Speaker 1: not actually looking at yourself. I know you're thinking about

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Speaker 1: the day ahead, all the deadlines, all the things you've

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Speaker 1: got to do. Don't, for one second, maybe four seconds

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Speaker 1: a day, look in that mirror and remind yourself that

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Speaker 1: you are making a choice, and if you're not choosing it,

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Speaker 1: you are not changing it. It's that important, Corey. Every

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Speaker 1: morning when you go into the bathroom, open your eyes definitely.

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Speaker 1: I know we're all tired, we all have crazy, busy lives.

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Speaker 1: But just for four seconds every morning, look in the

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Speaker 1: mirror and remind yourself that if you're not making a choice,

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Speaker 1: you are not changing it. And remember to no decision

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Speaker 1: at all. People convince themselves that if they make no decision,

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Speaker 1: they're going to be fine. No, when you make no decision,

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Speaker 1: you're actually making a really big decision not to change.

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Speaker 1: Just to put a putton on this, the only person

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Speaker 1: with the power to change your life, it's you. That's

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Speaker 1: the person. Nobody else can do it. So tonight, when

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Speaker 1: the clock strikes twelve, remember that it's not just gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: It's not magic. Just because you say it once at

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Speaker 1: midnight doesn't make it come true. It's hard work. We

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Speaker 1: are creatures of habit, and you have to remind yourself

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Speaker 1: every single day. Behavior, good and bad all begins with

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Speaker 1: choices we make every single day. Wow, So remember to

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Speaker 1: make good choices. People make good choice, the choice, make

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Speaker 1: the choice. Well, you're also saying the forward answer that

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Speaker 1: we should not even wait until New Year's even to

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Speaker 1: make those choices changes. So tell me about why we

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Speaker 1: should not wait until the end of the year to

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Speaker 1: make those choices. Don't wait for tomorrow or for the

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Speaker 1: end of the year to follow your dreams. How many

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Speaker 1: people say, oh, I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it

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Speaker 1: to more, You won't do it now. How many people

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Speaker 1: wait for the end of the year to change their lives? No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: do it now. So this is a little tip. I

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Speaker 1: think of my life as a TV show. It's almost

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Speaker 1: broken down into our long episode. So every hour, when

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Speaker 1: a new hour begins, so does a new episode. And

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Speaker 1: that trick allows me to refocus every single hour. So

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Speaker 1: I make a choice at the top of every single hour. Now,

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Speaker 1: I can't procrastinate for any longer than sixty minutes. That's

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Speaker 1: all I can do, Corey, because when the clock strikes

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Speaker 1: to the top of the hour, I reset my life.

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Speaker 1: So don't wait for tomorrow. Certainly, don't wait for the

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Speaker 1: end of the year. Every single hour reset your life.

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Speaker 1: So at ten o'clock, at eleven o'clock. At twelve o'clock,

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Speaker 1: I start over and it makes me do stuff. It

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Speaker 1: makes me make a choice. It makes me conscious that

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Speaker 1: I'm making a choice. Procrastin nation is not in your DNA.

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Speaker 1: It's not who you are. It's what you do. And

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Speaker 1: the good knows about that, Corey, is that if that

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Speaker 1: is the case, which it is, you can change. It

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Speaker 1: is not who you are. You are not born a procrastinator.

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Speaker 1: That's not who you decided to be a procrastinator. And

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Speaker 1: the reason most people procrastinate is because they're scared. We're

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Speaker 1: all told all the time we're lazy. Oh, you're so lazy.

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Speaker 1: That's why you don't do anything, Liars. The reason you're

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Speaker 1: not doing anything is you are scared. Admit that and

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Speaker 1: you will be able to move on. Wow. No, but

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Speaker 1: you know you're still right about that, because that is

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Speaker 1: actually one of the things that I'm working on and

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Speaker 1: I think I've gotten better at. But I totally totally

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Speaker 1: agree with that. In the book, you write that the

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Speaker 1: best resolution ever is forgiveness. Explain what you mean by that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: one of the most successful people I know gave me

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Speaker 1: this advice a few years ago. They really are a superstar.

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Speaker 1: They didn't want to be revealed, So I will honor

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Speaker 1: that trust. But they told me that every single year

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Speaker 1: they make a resolution of forgiveness. They really do make

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Speaker 1: that resolution. And changing your relationship with your past is

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Speaker 1: the only way to change your relationship with your future.

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Speaker 1: So New Year's Eve resolutions are all about tomorrow. The

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Speaker 1: problem is is that you won't. You won't do it.

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Speaker 1: You will, you'll never stick to it until you change

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Speaker 1: your past. So you've got to look back a little

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Speaker 1: bit to look forward. A bright tomorrow requires that you

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Speaker 1: deal with the dark wounds from yesterday. When you're no

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Speaker 1: longer loathe your past, you'll no longer loathe your future.

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Speaker 1: In fact, the only thing a bad past is good

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Speaker 1: for is preparing you to have a great tomorrow. And

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Speaker 1: all that starts cory with forgiving yourself tonight at midnight.

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Speaker 1: Forgive yourself all those things you've been holding onto, all

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Speaker 1: those things that you say to yourself, all that blame

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Speaker 1: that you've been carrying, all that guilt that you've been

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Speaker 1: carrying for years. Forgive yourself tonight, and then do it tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: And when you clean your teeth, do it then. And

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Speaker 1: every hour when you reset your life. Do it again. Forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: So forgiveness is one thing, but then there's forgiveness of

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Speaker 1: yourself and then forgiveness of others, which are two different things.

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Speaker 1: That you say that is actually important to also forgive others.

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Speaker 1: Why is there a benefit, Hey, it's vital. When you

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Speaker 1: forgive others, you always end up helping yourself more than

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Speaker 1: the person who has wronged you. I'm not telling you

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Speaker 1: to forgive others here because it's good for them, it's

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Speaker 1: good for you. You've been beating yourself up for far

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Speaker 1: too long, hoping to hurt others, when in reality, the

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Speaker 1: only person you've been hurting is yourself. Think about it.

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Speaker 1: Think about all those cruel names you've called somebody that

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Speaker 1: hurt you. It's a waste of your time. They're not listening.

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Speaker 1: The only person you are hurting is yourself. So it's

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Speaker 1: time to forgive and get this. I'm even at the

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Speaker 1: point where I can be grateful of all the bad

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Speaker 1: things that have happened to me because they happen for

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Speaker 1: a reason. I know that's easy to say, but the

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Speaker 1: job I lost at the time, it was really painful,

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Speaker 1: but it led me to this and I love what

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Speaker 1: I'm doing today. You know the guy at school, Craig,

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Speaker 1: who I had a chrishan, who didn't want to be

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend. If you're listening Loo, Craig, it's good that

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Speaker 1: you didn't want to be my boyfriend because I met

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Speaker 1: the love of my life, Bruce, and I wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: met him had I been dating Craig. The university I

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Speaker 1: got turned down by Oxford and Cambridge. They didn't want me.

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Speaker 1: It's a good thing they didn't want me, Corey, because

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have gone to Edinburgh. If I hadn't gone

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Speaker 1: to Edinburgh, I wouldn't have met Bruce. I wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: come to America. So everything in life has a knock

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Speaker 1: on effect. So you will get to the point where

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Speaker 1: you can actually be grateful about things that happened to

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Speaker 1: you that at the time you didn't think we're that great. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: forgiving others it's a gift that we give ourselves. Think

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Speaker 1: about that when you forgive somebody else, it really has

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with him. It's a gift you give yourself.

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Speaker 1: And it's only when you are able to forgive that

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Speaker 1: you are able to find the compassion that you craiz Eve.

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Speaker 1: We all crave compassion, we all crave it. When you

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Speaker 1: forgive others, when you forgive yourselves, I promise you'll finally

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Speaker 1: have it. That's amazing, and that's so tied to just

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Speaker 1: a basic lesson of when things happen to you in life,

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Speaker 1: it's often how you respond to them. Then we'll dictate

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Speaker 1: the outcome. You know that reaction. It's a thoughtful response

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Speaker 1: in what you do in that moment that can change

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Speaker 1: the course of your life. So it's very everything. It's Domino's.

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Speaker 1: It's a knock on effect. Think of the simple stuff.

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Speaker 1: Just back to your school days. A lot of life

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Speaker 1: is really luck Corey. Had I not gone to that

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Speaker 1: bar on a rainy night in Scotland, Edinburgh, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have met Bruce. Had I not read a story you

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Speaker 1: wrote on Instinct magazine dot com and emailed you, I

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Speaker 1: would never have met you. You wrote a story that

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Speaker 1: made me laugh, it made me I so enjoyed it,

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Speaker 1: and I could have just gone about my day. I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I found your email and I sent you a note.

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Speaker 1: You didn't have to respond, You didn't have to email bag,

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Speaker 1: and then the fact you did, and I said I'd

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Speaker 1: love to get a drink, and then it changed our

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Speaker 1: lives together. So yes, you have a huge impact in

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Speaker 1: your own life, a huge impact in your own destiny.

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Speaker 1: There also two is a lot of luck. But I

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Speaker 1: love these combinations, these chance meetings in life. And all

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Speaker 1: of this happened because of what happened yesterday and the

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Speaker 1: day before. So don't be angry about yesterday. Be grateful.

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Speaker 1: I love it. Yes, yes, yes, And be prepared, of

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Speaker 1: course before the future brings very true. Now, you know

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Speaker 1: what's tired to forgiveness, of course, is this sense of

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Speaker 1: holding onto grudges, which we all do as well. Many

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Speaker 1: of us do that, and I've gotten better over the

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Speaker 1: years at this one. But it's not easy. So why

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Speaker 1: is it so many of us hold onto grudges ever

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Speaker 1: so long? Because you don't understand that letting go of

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Speaker 1: a grudge has nothing to do with the person who

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Speaker 1: wronged you. It has nothing to do with them, It

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Speaker 1: has everything to do with you. This is really important,

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Speaker 1: And say this over and over every day. Don't forgive

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Speaker 1: because they deserve it, Forgive because you deserve it. Let

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Speaker 1: me say that again, Do not forgive somebody because they

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Speaker 1: deserve it. Forgive them because you deserve it. I love

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Speaker 1: this quote by Carrie Fisher, just the legendary actress, just

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Speaker 1: just so smart. She said the following, Holding onto a

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Speaker 1: grudge is like drinking poison every day hoping that the

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Speaker 1: other person dies. If you're drinking poison every day, which

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Speaker 1: you are, if you're holding onto a grudge, you're gonna die,

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Speaker 1: not them. Stop drinking poison every day. Holding onto a

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Speaker 1: grudge is poison that will kill you, not them. I

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Speaker 1: know this. I know this as a fact because I

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Speaker 1: used to hold onto a grudge for so long, Cory.

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Speaker 1: I know when I was younger. If you upset me,

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Speaker 1: oh my goodness, I would hold onto it for so long.

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Speaker 1: Get their It actually became my identity. I was that

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Speaker 1: guy that wore the label have been wrong, like it

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Speaker 1: was a badge of honor. I would bask, Cory. I'd

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Speaker 1: bask in the fact that I was the victim. People

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Speaker 1: had done me wrong, and so I became that victim.

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Speaker 1: And if you saw me at coffee, oh, I tell

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Speaker 1: you about what they did to me yesterday, Or if

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Speaker 1: you saw me in the playground, I would tell you

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Speaker 1: about all my arm got broken as a little boy.

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Speaker 1: It became my whole identity holding onto a grudge. And

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Speaker 1: you know why I did it because I wanted empathy.

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Speaker 1: I wanted empathy from people. And now you know what,

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Speaker 1: instead of looking for empathy, I'm the one who gives it.

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Speaker 1: I give empathy. Now, that's what I do. I give

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Speaker 1: it out. Take back the responsibility of caring about your

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Speaker 1: own suffering, because that's something that's far important for you

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Speaker 1: to give to anybody else. Take back responsibility. Your suffering

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Speaker 1: belongs to you, not to the person who made you suffer,

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Speaker 1: and certainly not to the friends who you want to

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Speaker 1: be empathetic. Don't look for empathy, give it, and that

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Speaker 1: is how you will heal. Wow. And that brings us

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Speaker 1: back again to the choices you make and the decisions

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Speaker 1: you make about your life. They all depend on you.

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Speaker 1: You are the one who is the captain of that ship.

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Speaker 1: And those are the most poignant words indeed to end

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Speaker 1: our show. So hey, Rob, that's it for today, that's

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Speaker 1: it for this week, that's it for this year. If

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Speaker 1: you can believe it, it is two tomorrow, it's upon us.

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Speaker 1: So it's going to be a great Yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: know it. Tonight, everybody, if you're still awake at midnight

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Speaker 1: and you want to make New Year's Eve resolution, Don't

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Speaker 1: go for the obvious. Don't go for losing weight. That's

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Speaker 1: like when People magazine name Brad pit the most handsome

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Speaker 1: guy alive each year. Of course it's Brad Pitt or

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Speaker 1: George Clooney. Now it's not go for something personal. Don't

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Speaker 1: do something generic like weight laws or eat a little

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Speaker 1: bit more vegetables. Do something really big. And if you

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Speaker 1: don't have a resolution, I would suggest you really think

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Speaker 1: about forgiveness. Think about saying tonight, my New Year's resolution

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Speaker 1: is to forgive others and forgive myself, and then do it.

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Speaker 1: It's harder to do it than to say it. Think

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Speaker 1: of the person, Corey, don't give me a name, but

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Speaker 1: think of the person who you are angry with her,

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Speaker 1: you hold a grudge to, who has upset you. There's somebody.

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Speaker 1: We've all got that person in our life. Maybe send

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Speaker 1: them a text tomorrow, not because they deserve it, because

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Speaker 1: you deserve it. And then, do you know what the

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Speaker 1: best solution is here? They don't respond, because then you've

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Speaker 1: got rid of all this anger and you don't have

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Speaker 1: to deal with them because there's still going to be

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Speaker 1: a nightmare. They didn't change. That person is still a

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Speaker 1: terrible person. But if you send them a text, then

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Speaker 1: you get rid ahead of it, you get rid of

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Speaker 1: the poison. If they respond, keep your distance. But I say,

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Speaker 1: try to forgive others and certainly forgive yourself. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for listening all hear to The Naughty but

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Speaker 1: Night Show with the Ram and Corey, a production of

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Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. I can't believe how lucky we are

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Speaker 1: to do this show every day, once a week with you, Corey.

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Speaker 1: I love the fact that we've become a hit, and

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Speaker 1: that's all because of the naughtiest. Thank you, thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. Grateful Yes, yes, and don't forget

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Speaker 1: to subscribe on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen. And we love hearing from you

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Speaker 1: all out there, so please leave us every view we

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Speaker 1: love to read and remember all together. Now, if you're

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Speaker 1: going to be naughty, you've got to take care of everybody.

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Speaker 1: Have a wonderful, wonderful night of New York a fit.

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Speaker 1: It's gone even nice with ro