Speaker 1: The Nicky Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am I'm in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, California. Welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Tuesday. UM.
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed our all Fan Tracks episode yesterday.
Speaker 1: That was super fun to record. Before we left town
Speaker 1: last week. Um, we had a big, old busy weekend.
Speaker 1: Um the touring. I forget where we were now already.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I remember Milwaukee and then Indianapolis. So good
Speaker 1: to see all the busties. There are such fun shows.
Speaker 1: I flew to l A on Sunday, Andrew went back
Speaker 1: to St. Louis and then Noah came all the way
Speaker 1: from Arizona to St. Louis to uh take my spot,
Speaker 1: and guys were switching around. We're not I'm producing now,
Speaker 1: No I am not, and I can't. Uh Noah is
Speaker 1: in is in the um is in the host chair? Wait,
Speaker 1: it was so funny this morning. You you were so cute.
Speaker 1: Andrew had to tell me that you were scared to
Speaker 1: sit in the chair. I wanted to do it from
Speaker 1: the kitchen. I wasn't scared. I just thought it would
Speaker 1: look so weird. It would be like a Twilight Zone
Speaker 1: episode of the podcast, and and and um, it's it's
Speaker 1: fitting though for this week. It's a spooky week. Things
Speaker 1: are things are scary, like suddenly a barista will be
Speaker 1: wearing a witch's hat and you'll be reminded that it's Halloween.
Speaker 1: Like that's what why I get reminded it's Halloween. I'll
Speaker 1: just see, you know, people at Starbucks wearing like cat
Speaker 1: ears and I'm like, oh, yeah, it's that week. Otherwise
Speaker 1: I forget. Um, how's St. Louis going good? Andrew is
Speaker 1: hooked on squid Games and we watched three episodes last night,
Speaker 1: even though I said I wouldn't watch it. He's actually
Speaker 1: in there right now. He took a pause last night
Speaker 1: so he can talk with Brenna and because I just
Speaker 1: had to leave and go to sleep. Wait a second, So,
Speaker 1: first of all, you're I think you're saying squid games,
Speaker 1: squid games. That's that's fine. It's that sounds like the
Speaker 1: way Andrew probably is saying it too. Um. Also, what
Speaker 1: it took him so long? We need to know because
Speaker 1: everyone's been watching this number two? I do think how
Speaker 1: long is this show? How long is it going to
Speaker 1: take him to get through it? And doesn't he have
Speaker 1: something better to do with his time? Is this the
Speaker 1: new golf for him? Here's the thing, NICKI, uh so,
Speaker 1: it's in Korean and you have to read the subtitles
Speaker 1: or you can have it lipped up. I heard, yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's it's not the same. If it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's just too weird. But sometimes I catch Andrew looking
Speaker 1: at his phone. He doesn't he doesn't know what he
Speaker 1: doesn't when he says he watches something, he does not watch.
Speaker 1: I don't even understand how Andrew enjoys entertainment because or
Speaker 1: or shows that involved. That's why I like The Bachelor
Speaker 1: and Bachelorette because I can look at my phone and
Speaker 1: not miss anything, and if I do, I can go
Speaker 1: back and figure out what happened. Um, But Andrew doesn't
Speaker 1: do that. He doesn't go back. He That's what emboggled
Speaker 1: by how he watches things, because I'll you know, we
Speaker 1: got into the whole thing about the Ted last of
Speaker 1: episode where there were all these references to romantic comedies
Speaker 1: that if you didn't know the joke they were making,
Speaker 1: you would have been like, what the hell is the
Speaker 1: show doing? You would have been like, I don't trust
Speaker 1: the show anymore. But he's just blindly proceeds. So I'm
Speaker 1: sure there's so many think times that Andrew just goes,
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on, and I wonder if
Speaker 1: he goes, Oh, it's something I missed when I was
Speaker 1: looking on my phone, because for me, I cannot stand that.
Speaker 1: If there's some plot point I miss, I gotta go
Speaker 1: back because I was on my phone, I go back.
Speaker 1: And that's why I don't watch shows. I have to
Speaker 1: go back. The Morning Show the other day, I tried
Speaker 1: to watch it. I rewound it like twenty times because
Speaker 1: every time I would just look on my phone and
Speaker 1: kept missing it. Um, so you know he's missing things
Speaker 1: because he and first of all, even if you're looking
Speaker 1: at your phone and it's not Korean, you're still can't
Speaker 1: hear what they're saying, like it's not really getting in.
Speaker 1: But especially if it's Korean, I mean, what is he doing?
Speaker 1: But the good thing is, because I'm reading the captions
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm looking at it closely, is that it
Speaker 1: seems like there is no plot, so he's not really
Speaker 1: using anything. I saw one scene as I was watching
Speaker 1: someone watch it on a plane. That's all I've seen
Speaker 1: this good game. I understand that it has a lot
Speaker 1: of like gore and it's really kind of disturbing at times.
Speaker 1: What is what have you gleaned from it? Um? I
Speaker 1: like the gore aspect of it. Korean horror movies are
Speaker 1: are usually pretty gory in a very good way if
Speaker 1: you're into that kind of stuff. Um, like, what's the gore? What?
Speaker 1: What am I going to see on this? It scory
Speaker 1: in in a Korean way that you've seen. Uh example
Speaker 1: someone um, one of the characters stuck their fingers into
Speaker 1: these into this like machinery, and their fingers popped popped, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like their knuckles cracked like some no, like the meeting,
Speaker 1: the fingers got crushed and there was this like pop
Speaker 1: sound that sounds good. Did they do the English dub
Speaker 1: of the pop sound? Yeah? Just said pop across There
Speaker 1: are certain sounds that seem like oh those would be
Speaker 1: you know, worldwide or like they wouldn't change based on
Speaker 1: what language. Like the sound of a dog barking. We
Speaker 1: should look it up. The sound people make to say
Speaker 1: a dog is barking, like like we say rough roff,
Speaker 1: but like in different languages, it's like haka haka. It'll
Speaker 1: be like a totally different sound, but we're all hearing
Speaker 1: the same thing. We're just saying something different. There's this
Speaker 1: really great on Reddit that I'm going to share it
Speaker 1: later today during read it dump of what people what
Speaker 1: English speakers sound like too non English speakers. You know
Speaker 1: how when we do imitations of a different language, it's
Speaker 1: like jazz. Also like for like French, but to French
Speaker 1: people that would sound like gibberish, Like it's not anything,
Speaker 1: but we we can make it sounds like we're saying
Speaker 1: something like Conan does a really good Armenian impression where
Speaker 1: he just makes up words and it sounds like he's
Speaker 1: speaking a language. I'm not really good. I'm not fast
Speaker 1: on my feet enough to come up with a new language,
Speaker 1: but um it's it's I'll share it with you later.
Speaker 1: And it's a song this Italian guy made to prove that.
Speaker 1: Back I think it was in the sixties maybe seventies.
Speaker 1: This guy was an Italian singer, songwriter, pop star in
Speaker 1: Italy and he was frustrated that every single song that
Speaker 1: seemed to be a hit was any song that was
Speaker 1: English speaking. And he was just frustrated because he's like
Speaker 1: these these Italians a fault for anything. So I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna make a song that sounds like English, and so
Speaker 1: it's complete gibberish English, but it sounds like what we
Speaker 1: would hear if we didn't speak English and we heard
Speaker 1: someone like talking it, you know, Um, and it's so
Speaker 1: good you're gonna love it? Um? How is l A?
Speaker 1: L A is great? Speaking of squid Game, Actually, I
Speaker 1: was on set yesterday with Jimmy Fallon. Um. He might
Speaker 1: have been there just visiting a friend. He might have
Speaker 1: been hosting, he might have working been working the craft
Speaker 1: service table. No one knows, but we there was some
Speaker 1: mention of squid Game and I said, I actually haven't
Speaker 1: even seen it. I had to come claim because I
Speaker 1: was trying to. I was like laughing along like I
Speaker 1: got the reference and I didn't. And I go, I
Speaker 1: haven't actually seen it, and he goes, don't. You don't
Speaker 1: need to. It's just it's disturbing and I wish I
Speaker 1: hadn't seen it. He said, like he was like, it's
Speaker 1: one of those things that you are like, my life
Speaker 1: isn't better because I saw that disturbing thing. And that's
Speaker 1: why I feel like I don't. I think I'm I'm
Speaker 1: smart to not watch these things because is they do.
Speaker 1: But also I I read a lot of grim things,
Speaker 1: and I'm on Reddit looking at you know, last images,
Speaker 1: which is pictures that people post of the last image
Speaker 1: picture was taken of a person, And so I'm looking
Speaker 1: at kind of like morbid things constantly that sometimes make
Speaker 1: me a little sad and make me have an existential crisis.
Speaker 1: But in terms of I just don't. I guess we're
Speaker 1: always seeking adrenaline, and I guess squid game in these
Speaker 1: kind of gory moments hearing fingers pop give you adrenaline
Speaker 1: and like make you feel alive and remind you you
Speaker 1: you're alive. I guess I don't understand. You went to
Speaker 1: a haunted house type of thing. I did. We just
Speaker 1: talked about that and I go your you lie, I
Speaker 1: didn't like that, didn't lie. I didn't lie. I tried.
Speaker 1: I so I told AV He's like, okay, you choose
Speaker 1: the dinner place. And I tried. I tried really hard
Speaker 1: to choose a place where we would we eat and
Speaker 1: just get too tired to work. Funny, we went to
Speaker 1: this bed and breakfast. Well, I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: how about we we order like toothdaye we just I
Speaker 1: tried ordering like the most fattening thing on the menu
Speaker 1: so that we would feel tired, to try to get
Speaker 1: him to not want to go out. But hey, right,
Speaker 1: what was it? It was um like three haunted houses.
Speaker 1: I only did too and they had corn fields? Do
Speaker 1: you know how creepy that is? I'm glad I did it? Okay,
Speaker 1: I was. It was terrifying. Well why are you glad then?
Speaker 1: And also why didn't he eat enough? And why didn't
Speaker 1: your plan work? Oh? We we ate a lot, but
Speaker 1: he's he insisted on going because he loves that stuff.
Speaker 1: But then you're just going and you're you want to
Speaker 1: throw up the whole time, and you're scared. Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: but luckily the lines for each were so long that
Speaker 1: I could, you know, like shake off the nerve. But
Speaker 1: you had to wait in line to go into a
Speaker 1: corn maze and fucking be scared. But I was gone. Honestly,
Speaker 1: take a haunted house out of it for me standing
Speaker 1: in line for something with the public, for something that
Speaker 1: is not worth standing in line for. I guess maybe
Speaker 1: it was that is a haunted house to me? Okay,
Speaker 1: wasting it? So what why are you better off for
Speaker 1: having gone through it sell me on this, Okay. So
Speaker 1: the good thing was that I would like I just
Speaker 1: got to be scared and I got to scream a lot,
Speaker 1: and I think that that was a big stress reliever
Speaker 1: for me. Um. I did like, how before you go in, Um,
Speaker 1: the person who like worked the front door or whatever
Speaker 1: the haunted house was like, they won't touch you, no
Speaker 1: touching the actors, no running. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: they don't touch you. Okay, that makes me feel a
Speaker 1: little bit better. Yes, did my ex boyfriends work there?
Speaker 1: Was it all people that I've been intimate with, and
Speaker 1: and I said, they don't always feel like I know
Speaker 1: as I'm saying, I always feel like I wanted to
Speaker 1: write a joke at one point. I think about haunted
Speaker 1: houses and how they always say they can't touch you,
Speaker 1: and how like that's probably my My boyfriend probably works
Speaker 1: at one of those, and he's just like he's just
Speaker 1: he can't take he can't leave work at work. He
Speaker 1: takes it home with him and he just doesn't he
Speaker 1: doesn't feel comfortable touching because it's just not what he
Speaker 1: does at work. And so they that put you at
Speaker 1: ease that they didn't touch you. Yes, Um, I also
Speaker 1: like that I just got to be like a damsel
Speaker 1: in distress. You got to protect you. I got to
Speaker 1: like clamp onto his arm. I got to like make
Speaker 1: him go ahead of me. Oh. It's kind of a
Speaker 1: cute first date idea because it um creates a space
Speaker 1: for intimacy that you otherwise wouldn't. You know, touching someone
Speaker 1: or grabbing onto them or getting really close to them
Speaker 1: is something that happens usually after you've you know, I
Speaker 1: had a couple of drinks. It's a way to force
Speaker 1: that kind of closeness. Yeah, that's always what is so
Speaker 1: uh difficult about dating, I think, and like the first
Speaker 1: move of like who's going to touch you? That's why
Speaker 1: I've come up with the whole thing of like if
Speaker 1: you're next to someone in your arms are barely touching,
Speaker 1: if you leave it, that's a sign of girl likes you.
Speaker 1: Like if it's barely imperceptible that you're touching and she
Speaker 1: leaves it, because she could move it away and it
Speaker 1: wouldn't be like offensively get away, but she could just
Speaker 1: move like a millimeter and it would make it so
Speaker 1: you guys weren't touching. But if she leaves it, she
Speaker 1: likes you, but those that's so hard to do to
Speaker 1: get to a place where you either have to smotion
Speaker 1: the back of a car or like there should be
Speaker 1: something that gets you really close to touch otherwise or
Speaker 1: as you know, there's no need to really like bundle
Speaker 1: with each other. Wanted house. That's a good idea. Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe I'm sold on it. Yeah. Um. Also I thought
Speaker 1: of you because, um, when we were in the cornfield,
Speaker 1: they there was like re enactments of like horror movies
Speaker 1: and one of them was, um, leather Face and there's
Speaker 1: a leather Face character like standing in the way, and
Speaker 1: every time you have me no, no, no, not that kidding,
Speaker 1: not that. So I just start laughing and he keeps
Speaker 1: blocking my way and I start laughing, and he goes,
Speaker 1: why are you laughing at me? So I thought about
Speaker 1: about how you say that when we're nervous we start
Speaker 1: laughing to shore canines, and I was like, he can't
Speaker 1: see my canines. You're like, you're like because it's because
Speaker 1: you more scared, Like, but why are you laughing me
Speaker 1: at me? Is so funny. He went home that day
Speaker 1: and was like, I didn't do it. I couldn't bring
Speaker 1: it today. And this girl wouldn't stop laughing on me.
Speaker 1: And what is leatherface? Is that the like it's from
Speaker 1: the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's the character that chopped everybody up.
Speaker 1: I'm picturing Michael Myers for some reason. What's the difference
Speaker 1: between their masks? Oh? You know, Michael Myers has the
Speaker 1: white mask. I guess his has a little bit more
Speaker 1: like patches to it, and like looks a little face.
Speaker 1: It kind of looks like a burlap sack. But the
Speaker 1: leather is made of human skin. Oh. Oh, the way
Speaker 1: that you said that is just as darling as sometimes
Speaker 1: I like to just divide it with my nose. Um okay,
Speaker 1: So speaking of face and leather faces, Um, I have
Speaker 1: become obsessed with a thing called face Jim here in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. So I got into town on Sunday. I
Speaker 1: flew in from Indie, took a really early morning flight,
Speaker 1: got in here super early because you lose three hours,
Speaker 1: and my hotel I wasn't able to check it. Um,
Speaker 1: and so I'm like so tired. All I want to
Speaker 1: do is just like crawl into a bed and die.
Speaker 1: And they're like, um, I get there at ten and
Speaker 1: they're like the room is not gonna be ready till three.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can I buy a room? I was like,
Speaker 1: can I buy a room from yesterday to have it
Speaker 1: so I can sleep until check out today at noon?
Speaker 1: Like two hours That's how desperate I was for sleep,
Speaker 1: and they were like, sorry, it's full. So I go.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm gonna do, and I just
Speaker 1: walk out into the world and I'm just sad and tired,
Speaker 1: and I stumble upon this place called face Jim, which
Speaker 1: I've been to in New York ages ago. I think
Speaker 1: they offered me like a free session because you know,
Speaker 1: as someone deemed me, and I go, okay, I'll do it.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't crazy about it when I went to
Speaker 1: New York, but I went into this place because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I got time to kill. A face massage seems good,
Speaker 1: a kind of a facial. I don't like facials anymore, honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't like extractions. They tend to disrupt my skin
Speaker 1: and make me like per like my skin purge and
Speaker 1: it gets all I just have a really my skin
Speaker 1: has been never better because I haven't had a fucking
Speaker 1: facial in two years, and it's never my skins never
Speaker 1: looked better. So what do you get? There? You go?
Speaker 1: But I just I remember, this place isn't an invasive
Speaker 1: They're not squeezing your skin, and it's it's costly though, dude.
Speaker 1: You walk in it's called Face Jim and they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: what's up? And and the music is like oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like it's like Equinox music. And it's
Speaker 1: really bright, and all the chairs are it's almost like
Speaker 1: you're at a salon. So it's all, you know, chairs
Speaker 1: next to each other and you lay back in this
Speaker 1: chair and there's a mirror in front of you and
Speaker 1: like bars on the mirror, like you're at a bar class,
Speaker 1: but the bars don't serve any purpose. I was like,
Speaker 1: can I put my feet in the news And they're
Speaker 1: like no. So they talk to me. They're like, what
Speaker 1: would you like to do for your workout today? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, let's drop the workout like this, just can
Speaker 1: I talk normally. I don't want to have to do
Speaker 1: your whole thing, like this isn't a workout for your face.
Speaker 1: You're laying in a chair. I want this to be relaxing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't know what do you recommend
Speaker 1: and the prices are crazy, dude, Like you know, it
Speaker 1: starts out I think dollars for their like basic, and
Speaker 1: then it goes to a deep clean it's like one.
Speaker 1: And then it's like the cryo therapy, which is like
Speaker 1: a deep um hydra eating. It's like two thirty five.
Speaker 1: So it's like it ain't cheap. I want to say
Speaker 1: that if you can't afford it, I really recommend it.
Speaker 1: There's a girl in West Hollywood location. If you're in
Speaker 1: l A the West Hollywood location, Haley, don't take a
Speaker 1: risk with anyone else. I'm not even kidding you. I
Speaker 1: don't even know who else works there. Maybe Haley is
Speaker 1: not even the best, but to me, she I'm like
Speaker 1: I had a white Lotus moment with her where I
Speaker 1: was like Jennifer Coolidge's character where I was like You're amazing,
Speaker 1: and like I just I think you should start a
Speaker 1: salon with me and St. Louis Like I was ready
Speaker 1: to recruit this woman. I am obsessed with her, and
Speaker 1: so I went in on Sunday and I got the
Speaker 1: cry Oh. What they do is they massage your face,
Speaker 1: which I need this in my life. Space massage is
Speaker 1: so underrated lettle like the deep cleaning thing where they
Speaker 1: do all the other stuff to your face. It feels
Speaker 1: like your face is going in a car wash and
Speaker 1: then they do It's just my face has never looked better.
Speaker 1: But they do this thing where they put a ball
Speaker 1: on your face and they roll the muscles. And I
Speaker 1: hate stretching my face. Y'all know that. I don't even
Speaker 1: That's why I won't go skydiving or play with my
Speaker 1: niece and make funny faces because I don't want to
Speaker 1: stretch out my skin on my face. I do not
Speaker 1: go like, I'll never do that. I'll never go like
Speaker 1: oh and pull down my skin. Ever. When I sleep
Speaker 1: on my face, I like sleep, so it's like up,
Speaker 1: like I pull it up. And um so I was
Speaker 1: I was reluctant to have someone like tug on my
Speaker 1: face and like massage it. But oh my god, noah,
Speaker 1: she got in these like knots on my shoe and
Speaker 1: was just and did hard pressure. Dude. It was transcendent.
Speaker 1: And and not to mention, the music is still like pitch,
Speaker 1: We're gonna rock you, and I'm just like, this is
Speaker 1: not relaxing at all in terms of the music. But
Speaker 1: I went to another dimension and this face massage. It
Speaker 1: was so complete, there was every little nook and cranny
Speaker 1: she got in. I was so happy. And then at
Speaker 1: the end of it, I mean I went to dinner
Speaker 1: with Carlile hours later and she was like, you look
Speaker 1: like a child. Like My face was just so just
Speaker 1: bright and shiny and hydrated. It was awesome. I'm literally
Speaker 1: thinking about getting a franchise in St. Louis so I
Speaker 1: can go regularly. I'm not kidding you. I I need this,
Speaker 1: or creating some version of facial massage. Because the thing is,
Speaker 1: if anyone out there listening knows where I can get
Speaker 1: a face massage in St. Louis, Missouri, let me know,
Speaker 1: because I don't know that it's a thing and I
Speaker 1: need it. Um Anyway, it was so good. I went
Speaker 1: to her yesterday, so got in Sunday, went to her
Speaker 1: that day. Then yesterday I was done with my shoe.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I shot so early in the morning, seven
Speaker 1: thirty seven o'clock. Uh, call time for my to get
Speaker 1: in my car. That means means I did be in
Speaker 1: hair makeup at five, got there. Uh did the show
Speaker 1: done by twelve thirty. So much fun doing it again. Today. Um,
Speaker 1: But I went to again to her and Noah, she
Speaker 1: like didn't remember me. I walked in because I was like, hi, Haley,
Speaker 1: because I call old and I was like, I want
Speaker 1: whoever I had yesterday, and I even told her. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm coming back tomorrow and she was like great,
Speaker 1: So then I showed it up again. She did not
Speaker 1: know who I was, didn't care, you know, like I
Speaker 1: don't think recognize me or anything like that doesn't matter. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't even think about those things. I really don't.
Speaker 1: But I go, Haley, what did I do yesterday? Because
Speaker 1: I think I want to do and she goes, um,
Speaker 1: I don't, like, let me chat like she I was
Speaker 1: like hurt that she didn't remember, like the specific thing.
Speaker 1: I'm just another fucking face. And it reminded me of
Speaker 1: the fact that when I meet people or do shows
Speaker 1: or have a lot of times, I'll do shows, you know,
Speaker 1: and I'll get flown in for like a private event,
Speaker 1: and I'll stay at a hotel and I'll go to
Speaker 1: like a dinner, and I'll do the show, and I'll
Speaker 1: be at this I'll be in the club all weekend long.
Speaker 1: I don't remember anything about the club. I don't remember
Speaker 1: how to get to the green room. I don't remember
Speaker 1: and it and I always want to tell these people
Speaker 1: like I do this every single day. There's if I
Speaker 1: remembered it at all, I'd be Einstein. I can't. I
Speaker 1: don't have the bandwidth for that, you know, and I
Speaker 1: have to. I have to have the you know, barnaked
Speaker 1: ladies wrap to chicken China, the Chinese chicken. You have
Speaker 1: a drop that is in my head and taking up space,
Speaker 1: so I can't remember your face or what I did
Speaker 1: at the Diet Dallas hyenas um. But this girl didn't
Speaker 1: remember me. And it was a good reminder that when
Speaker 1: we feel special, when there's like again white Lotus, you know,
Speaker 1: the guy that makes everyone at the hotel feels so special,
Speaker 1: the one and and he's it's all bullshit, you guys,
Speaker 1: Like it's rare to find someone that actually you actually
Speaker 1: make an impression on in customer service, even if you
Speaker 1: think you have like a really genuine moment. Because I
Speaker 1: swear to god, I thought this woman was like I
Speaker 1: was like Jennifer Coolidge and this woman was because at
Speaker 1: the very beginning, they kind of do this over your
Speaker 1: chest and like touch your like very top of your boobs.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I was I think I was a
Speaker 1: little bit gay for this girl because her touch was
Speaker 1: just so amazing and she gently like stroked the top
Speaker 1: of my boobs and I'm about I'm like ovulating right now,
Speaker 1: so my boobs are so sensitive. And I was just
Speaker 1: like kind of I wasn't horny for it, but just
Speaker 1: made me feel so good. And again I'm questioning everything,
Speaker 1: but I'm obsessed with face massage. Let's gett Andrew in here. Andrew, Hey, Andrew,
Speaker 1: what's going on? I mean, I know what's going on
Speaker 1: in your world? How did you sleep last night? Or
Speaker 1: did you sleep because you're watching squid Game constantly? I
Speaker 1: guess the cats out of the bag, out of the shell?
Speaker 1: Shelling up. I can't even do anything without Noah talking
Speaker 1: about our business. I mean, all she says, all you've
Speaker 1: been doing is watching squid games. She can't pry you
Speaker 1: from it. First of all, she watched four episodes with
Speaker 1: me last night. Or I had Poe fuck you. I
Speaker 1: love how you got hit wrong? You fa you're just
Speaker 1: singing the you know scale folk? I um, yeah, I
Speaker 1: got it. Was the first time we got fa foe
Speaker 1: and it was delicious. Noah got some kind of egg
Speaker 1: rol thing and we watched screw. I didn't even think
Speaker 1: that squid games with Asian was had nothing to do
Speaker 1: with one another. The game is is Korean, I believe,
Speaker 1: and uh Fa is Vietnamese. Yes, so it has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with each other. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: canceled for going Asian or you did started out like
Speaker 1: it was some kind of like, oh we did a
Speaker 1: theme night. I was wearing a gee I did have
Speaker 1: a triangle hat on, but it had nothing to do
Speaker 1: I'm telling you though, Okay, I'm getting it, like I'm
Speaker 1: sure you yeah, were you in your little robe? I was?
Speaker 1: I did have a dragon Um, you're a brown belt
Speaker 1: right because it's your broad belt. Just fell in the
Speaker 1: toilet one time, a dragon kite following me around the
Speaker 1: part it. I get it. Well, we get your joke.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. Okay, so you can keep going forever,
Speaker 1: I mean just naming other things. It's a really it's
Speaker 1: a cool premise. Okay, Okay, that is completely separate though
Speaker 1: from all all right, but what are your thoughts on
Speaker 1: squid game and why did it take you so long
Speaker 1: to get into squid game and why now? And um um,
Speaker 1: I think I think one the subtitles having to read.
Speaker 1: You know me, I'm not a big reader, so I
Speaker 1: know I hear you're looking at your phone a lot
Speaker 1: and missing entire like you can't even what is going
Speaker 1: on here. Well, we know how you watch TV. I
Speaker 1: like to paint the full picture. Yeah, so if you,
Speaker 1: But Andrew, I do have a question for you when
Speaker 1: you miss a big part of a TV show. And then,
Speaker 1: because you know this happens to me all the time
Speaker 1: when I'm watching stuff, I go back and rewatch the
Speaker 1: thing I missed. Do you do don't think you do that.
Speaker 1: I think you just keep on plowing. I keep plowing,
Speaker 1: and eventually I'll plow on. I'll catch up. I mean
Speaker 1: I could put my brain together. I know what happened.
Speaker 1: I can miss a whole episode and know exactly what's
Speaker 1: going on. I don't think you can. I think you
Speaker 1: miss things. And then because I'll reference things sometimes and
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't know that, I'm like, that is
Speaker 1: a huge plat point where you were watching a TikTok
Speaker 1: about how to get your okay, you know what you're
Speaker 1: on your phone when we watch things Noise, which is
Speaker 1: a radio show every morning. I can't talk to you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but what does that have to do with anything? This
Speaker 1: is almost like you're the beginning of this where you
Speaker 1: were just naming different Eastern culture things. What what is
Speaker 1: me having listening to a radio show where I don't
Speaker 1: want to talk like I'm choosing to look, I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to have a conversation and do that. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: in the room with you, but I but I'm having
Speaker 1: on my headphones a lot of times, or you weren't
Speaker 1: in the room when I was listening to it on speaker,
Speaker 1: and then you walk in and start talking to me,
Speaker 1: and then I turned it down so I can hear you,
Speaker 1: and then I turned back up when you're talking. I
Speaker 1: will say that when I like, I've been trying to
Speaker 1: watch Chappel's special for so long now and I cannot
Speaker 1: It's too slow for me. And when I put it
Speaker 1: on the TV, I can't do double the speed, so
Speaker 1: I just get so distracted and I have to rewatch.
Speaker 1: I had to rewatch one story of his twenty times.
Speaker 1: I'm still not through it, and it's just the story
Speaker 1: of him being followed in the mall by that woman,
Speaker 1: like it's not that long of a story and I
Speaker 1: cannot get through because I looked down at my phone
Speaker 1: and I get struct it, but but I go back.
Speaker 1: I don't because I don't want to miss something. Here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Last night, I was falling asleep too. I
Speaker 1: believe episode six um. I felt I was kind of
Speaker 1: going in and out. And so this morning I turned
Speaker 1: on episode six. I watched what I watched last night,
Speaker 1: and I did catch up. I did fill in some
Speaker 1: some gaps that might have been there from sleeping. But
Speaker 1: if I missed something from watching my phone, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's like, you know you I'll watch my phone while
Speaker 1: I drive for an hour and a half. I'll get there.
Speaker 1: I get there. Are you supposed to say that? Probably not?
Speaker 1: That's I mean, I feel like everyone just is half
Speaker 1: watching things. Now. You say you watch something, you just
Speaker 1: you can't trust even my parents. My parents don't really
Speaker 1: my mom's always on her phone, but my dad will
Speaker 1: fall asleep and I'll I talked about White Lotus to
Speaker 1: them and they were nearly done with the show and
Speaker 1: they were like, yeah, we didn't we started it, And
Speaker 1: I go, oh, well, there's this, like you know, I
Speaker 1: referenced something that happens at the end that didn't wasn't
Speaker 1: a spoiler, and they go, oh, yeah, we we saw.
Speaker 1: I think we saw that. I'm like, you saw the
Speaker 1: whole show, but you don't remember because you fall asleep.
Speaker 1: I'm someone who I just I can't deal with that.
Speaker 1: I tried watching. Um, I need to go back. I
Speaker 1: remember from my childhood that movie Dune, which is like
Speaker 1: they just brought it back. They brought it back with
Speaker 1: shallow shallow Man, shallow May and Zindia and uh. I
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I'm gonna sit there. I
Speaker 1: know this is gonna be slow. I know it's gonna
Speaker 1: be kind of weird and like scientific and and whatever.
Speaker 1: I lasted honestly four minutes top they started talking in
Speaker 1: like a weird voice. So we have to get this
Speaker 1: bat and I'm done. I know I don't need this
Speaker 1: squid game. Well tell me why. It's just dude, I
Speaker 1: almost started crying in the last episode. It was the
Speaker 1: last last episode, or the last one you watched, the
Speaker 1: last one I watched. There's an old man in the show.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give away anything, but he is
Speaker 1: the I'm never gonna watch it I'm never gonna watch
Speaker 1: it because I don't watch things unless I have a
Speaker 1: partner to watch them with. And my last one just
Speaker 1: watched it. Oh hm, well you yeah, Well I'm not
Speaker 1: the only when I knew that didn't watch it. No,
Speaker 1: there's no catching I can't catch up. I can't watch
Speaker 1: anything alone. I just never thought that you would want
Speaker 1: to watch this so well, is it as gory and scary?
Speaker 1: And it's gory. You see a lot of death, but
Speaker 1: it's not it's not like scary debt. It's it's like, really, really,
Speaker 1: have you seen Running Man the movie back in the day. Well, anyways,
Speaker 1: it has a lot of heart, it really does. In
Speaker 1: the main character. Uh, there's a lot of main characters.
Speaker 1: But the first episode, this guy he's he's downtrawn, he's
Speaker 1: he's a gambler, he's not there for his daughter. He's
Speaker 1: in debt and he plays he's the best actor I
Speaker 1: think I might have ever seen. He's like a dumb
Speaker 1: dog in it. He's just like like and it's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: He's unbelievable. It's crazy how good an actor this guy is.
Speaker 1: Like so much on the screen. I don't I feel
Speaker 1: like I don't some people that think there are actors
Speaker 1: that are good. I disagree with them so much. Like
Speaker 1: I think acting and what you think is good and
Speaker 1: what it's not. It's totally subjective because some people are
Speaker 1: like they're the best actor, and I'm like, I just don't.
Speaker 1: I just see them acting or I don't know, I
Speaker 1: just it's your favorite actor. Favorite actor. I mean probably
Speaker 1: Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks, Okay, yeah, Like I feel like
Speaker 1: Tom Hanks really does get me there, and I feel
Speaker 1: like he is those characters, like there's he's like even
Speaker 1: though I know he's acting, I just I forget. I
Speaker 1: forget he's acting, which is, you know, something that it's
Speaker 1: hard for me to do in a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1: And then I do think, um, you know, I'm watching
Speaker 1: The Morning Show and the girl uh Hannah's show Schoenberg
Speaker 1: from the first season, Um, I think she's one of
Speaker 1: the best actresses I've ever seen. I thought she really
Speaker 1: was incredible, and I was sad to see, Wait, did
Speaker 1: you watch the second season? It's on? She back? Baby?
Speaker 1: Did she come back? I don't think she could come
Speaker 1: back from what happened. I thought she might though, because
Speaker 1: I started watching I thought what I thought was second season,
Speaker 1: I was starting I this is like again, I forget
Speaker 1: what I watched. I watched the last episode of the
Speaker 1: first season, you know, months ago, and I started up
Speaker 1: second season, but it started the last episode of the
Speaker 1: first season. I didn't know, and I'm watching it like
Speaker 1: it's new and there's nothing about it that's reminds me
Speaker 1: of anything I've seen before. And then she's there and
Speaker 1: I go, did she come back from the dead? As
Speaker 1: as a flashback? What's happening? Spoiler alert? And so when
Speaker 1: I realized I was watching the last episode someone watched.
Speaker 1: I saw a tweet, someone watched Succession the first just
Speaker 1: put it on automatically, but it was the first episode
Speaker 1: of the show, and they were like, I thought it
Speaker 1: was flashbacks, Like I thought, third season. This is what
Speaker 1: we're not paying attention when we watch things. Okay, but
Speaker 1: this is my point of squid Games. You don't need
Speaker 1: a Tom Hanks, you don't need um you know, Leonardo DiCaprio.
Speaker 1: You don't know who anyone is, and that's why it's
Speaker 1: so great, Like you're just starting with a nice clean palette.
Speaker 1: And I love watch things because I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: morning show I did watch because Jenn Ranston, isn't it,
Speaker 1: And I just like her and Steve Carrell, so you
Speaker 1: know it's gonna be good. But I feel like most
Speaker 1: of the time I'm motivated to watch something, it's not
Speaker 1: because the actor in it is someone I want to
Speaker 1: see do something. Nothing that's getting less and less. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think the idea of like I guess I put
Speaker 1: on because of shallow, make fucking that Peach, but it
Speaker 1: still didn't do anything for me, right, you know, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it doesn't I don't think. I think what what
Speaker 1: matters is critical claim is like people, is the cultural
Speaker 1: phenomenon for me wanting to be moved by something to
Speaker 1: the point where I'm like thinking about it all the time.
Speaker 1: I love art that does that for me. And like
Speaker 1: when something like Squid Game, for sure, is this thing
Speaker 1: that just took over the conversation immediately, like Tiger like
Speaker 1: Tiger King, you know, like it's the Island Oftix. It
Speaker 1: was huge, but I can't I know that it had
Speaker 1: so much gore in it, and that it is also
Speaker 1: something that caused a lot of anxiety, and it's like
Speaker 1: an anxiously type show and I'm just gonna I'm gonna pass.
Speaker 1: But I'm also going to talk to my friends who
Speaker 1: have seen it to get enough cultural references that I
Speaker 1: can slide it into jokes in the future or you know,
Speaker 1: understand you know, jokes being made about it enough to
Speaker 1: like fit in with people and be able to talk
Speaker 1: about it at the at the cool table. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I think I don't need to watch it.
Speaker 1: The old Man and it is the most human character
Speaker 1: you'll ever see on a TV show. I think, Um,
Speaker 1: there's something about this that's striking a chord for you,
Speaker 1: and I now I'm interested to know what what What
Speaker 1: is so emotional about this for you? I think you
Speaker 1: relate to the character or something. A lot of it
Speaker 1: is sacrificing yourself for others, which maybe something I try
Speaker 1: to do but I probably am not good at. And
Speaker 1: I see it of giving up your life for another.
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine that. Yeah, sacrificing yourself for others
Speaker 1: or like doing something for others. I mean, it's just
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, the more and I've talked about this
Speaker 1: so much, but the more I get outside of myself
Speaker 1: and stop doing things selfishly and actually try to do
Speaker 1: something for someone else, that's self sacrificing in terms of
Speaker 1: my time or my money or whatever. It's just it
Speaker 1: never ceases to make me feel better and to feel
Speaker 1: in in not a selfish way and not a way
Speaker 1: that I'm like I get to tell everyone I did
Speaker 1: this good thing, but just genuinely makes you feel good.
Speaker 1: And I wish I wish that was I want more
Speaker 1: people to understand that. So when you realize when you
Speaker 1: give and you are donate to places, or you give
Speaker 1: an extra tip to someone, or you just do nice
Speaker 1: things for people, that it makes you feel better too
Speaker 1: than the thing that's preventing you from doing those things
Speaker 1: is because we're also selfish. But essentially you could do
Speaker 1: this thing that's going to make you feel a lot better.
Speaker 1: And I just wish people knew that. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: You know what, when you watch the show, do it
Speaker 1: for them, you know what I mean? Like, No, I'm
Speaker 1: saying like we're also self centered, Like we look at
Speaker 1: our phone when we're watching, Like maybe don't look at
Speaker 1: your phone for the whole show. That's not what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about at all, But I'm just talking about get literally,
Speaker 1: is something that doesn't get you any kind of brownie points.
Speaker 1: With your freend like not anonymous donations, doing something that
Speaker 1: you're not going to brag about two people that you're
Speaker 1: just doing to help someone else and you don't even
Speaker 1: need to thank you from them, and being in a
Speaker 1: place where you could actually be there and not I
Speaker 1: feel like I don't. I know so few people who
Speaker 1: do that, and including myself, Like even when I put
Speaker 1: a tip in at Starbucks, I want them to thank me.
Speaker 1: And when when I do nice things, I want sometimes
Speaker 1: I've I've gotten to a better place with it where
Speaker 1: I don't need thank you's and and things like that.
Speaker 1: But um, there is something that you want, some sort
Speaker 1: of validation. But being able to do things without the
Speaker 1: validation is um so key to my self esteem and
Speaker 1: self worth. And I just didn't know that. I didn't
Speaker 1: know that that was a a way to get out
Speaker 1: of depression. Um, and that depression because it seems so
Speaker 1: like you hate yourself, Like why would that be selfish
Speaker 1: to be depressed? And I don't mean to make people
Speaker 1: who are depressed feel bad about it or like you're
Speaker 1: so selfish, But that's that's not what I'm saying. I'm
Speaker 1: because the worst thing to do is feel worse when
Speaker 1: you're depressed about like, oh, now I'm gonna feel selfish
Speaker 1: that I'm depressed, great Nikki, But it's like, no, it
Speaker 1: is a selfish act to be depressed. You're obsessed with
Speaker 1: like I'm bad, I'm worthless, no one likes me. I
Speaker 1: don't deserve to be a five. And I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to make that like I'm not trying to make it
Speaker 1: a moral issue if you're a bad person to feel
Speaker 1: that way, but it I never thought of depression of selfish.
Speaker 1: If anything, I thought it was like, you hate yourself,
Speaker 1: so you how could that be selfish? So the the
Speaker 1: antidote to being selfish is to get out of yourself
Speaker 1: and do something for other people that has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with you. And I wish more rich people would
Speaker 1: do that because rich people are depressed as fuck and
Speaker 1: they have something to actually give, even if they don't
Speaker 1: have the time to volunteer or whatever. I used to
Speaker 1: always think that I don't have time to volunteer, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't I don't want to.
Speaker 1: Like I thought that people that volunteering and helping it
Speaker 1: goodwill or soup kitchens, they wanted to do it like
Speaker 1: they have some chip in them that makes them want
Speaker 1: to do it, and it's like, no, they know that
Speaker 1: it makes them feel better, not because of the likes
Speaker 1: they get by posting it on social media, but like
Speaker 1: you know, the ones that just do it to do it,
Speaker 1: they know that it it is makes their their themselves better,
Speaker 1: thus making the world better place for the their family
Speaker 1: and friends. I don't know, I just there's so much
Speaker 1: like greed that I just I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: want people to be kinder. And I came up with
Speaker 1: a new mantra because Carlyle has this book called Healing
Speaker 1: Yourself Healing from Within. What's it called, I forget she's
Speaker 1: letting around here somewhere I'll get the name of it,
Speaker 1: but it's mantras for every physical ailment that you can
Speaker 1: use to like heal what you're going through. And she
Speaker 1: found in the back of the glass rate says, canker sores,
Speaker 1: and it's canker sores are related to having shame and
Speaker 1: feeling like you can't say what you want to say,
Speaker 1: and like, I so relate to that, like all of
Speaker 1: my ailments are always in my throat and in my mouth,
Speaker 1: and it's always related to I feel like I'm not
Speaker 1: speaking my truth, and obviously I'm someone that speaks to truth,
Speaker 1: but like there's just something backed up there recently. And
Speaker 1: so she gave me the mantra, and it was I
Speaker 1: create joyful experiences for my loving world. And so yesterday
Speaker 1: I meditated and all I said was I create joyful
Speaker 1: experiences from my living world. To create joyful experiences for
Speaker 1: my living world. And the truth is that is that's
Speaker 1: my goal in life. That's all I want to do.
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, what if every decision I made
Speaker 1: was filtered through that. I already failed today because I
Speaker 1: had admonished Andrew for being racist this morning and it
Speaker 1: probably made it feel bad. So that wasn't creating a
Speaker 1: joyful experience for my loving world. So I fail here
Speaker 1: and there. But if I do filter everything through that
Speaker 1: life could be pretty sweet. Wow. Because that but that
Speaker 1: is like my goal. Because she read one, because she
Speaker 1: read one that was like near the cankerstors because her boyfriend. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm not even joking you, then I really would love that.
Speaker 1: You see, if I can find the book, I'm a
Speaker 1: matter of place right now. Yeah, for some reason, flying
Speaker 1: hurts my asshole. I think maybe I get dehydrated out there.
Speaker 1: Maybe my asshole titans out to higher the altitude, right,
Speaker 1: Like the pressure changes for sure, whenever a lot of
Speaker 1: pilots to deal with with the assholes that are I
Speaker 1: can never be an F fifteen fly alright, I think literally,
Speaker 1: she has every other self help book alive. There's a
Speaker 1: book called How to Be Alone. There's a book called
Speaker 1: The Power of Habit. There's a book called Ten Days
Speaker 1: to Self Esteem. Um, these are all books that are
Speaker 1: propping up the laptop right now. But Matthew McConaughey, movies,
Speaker 1: Let do you see where that book is? There is
Speaker 1: the healing book. Yeah. I mean I was talking to
Speaker 1: know about how flying hurts my butt hole, and I
Speaker 1: wonder if it's connected. Maybe I sit down longer than usual. Um,
Speaker 1: I think the pressure are mental, Yeah they really. I
Speaker 1: mean it's it's a physical thing that is like compounded
Speaker 1: by the mental stress and stress. Yeah. Yeah, your brain
Speaker 1: goes down there and like, fucking my asshole always hurts
Speaker 1: more on the weekend when I'm like just stressed, Like
Speaker 1: even though I don't feel stressed, but obviously it's somewhere,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to do a good job whatever.
Speaker 1: You know, tensions are, you know, things are. When you're traveling,
Speaker 1: everything's heightened, and I think my asshole pain gets heightened.
Speaker 1: I think it's connected, it's correlated. It's interesting. Bad. Your
Speaker 1: height can't get heightened. I try. I'll wear your heels,
Speaker 1: but my calve's hurt. It all adds up behind me
Speaker 1: on a bookshelf. I vented. The mantra is just like,
Speaker 1: don't you can heal your life? All right? Let's look
Speaker 1: up anal fissures. Oh my god, there's literally everything in here. Okay,
Speaker 1: anal um not in here, but I'll look up fissures. Okay,
Speaker 1: I guess we could do. Hamorrhoids is close enough, hamorrhoids
Speaker 1: fish fish shila, No, okay, hamrhoids, but you know are
Speaker 1: hemorrhoids right? Not hamm? Can you spell hemorrhoid's force? Real question?
Speaker 1: It's E M M O H G M O R
Speaker 1: R H O I D S. Okay one and two eleven.
Speaker 1: Let's get to this one. Yeah, it's like hemmerhoid's okay, one,
Speaker 1: here we go. Okay, es actually interesting, okay enough, but
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's going to do to fear
Speaker 1: of deadlines, anger, of the past, afraid to let go,
Speaker 1: feeling burdened. Okay, So your mantra is I release all
Speaker 1: that is unlike love. There's time and space for everything
Speaker 1: I want to do. Again, release all that is unlike love,
Speaker 1: all that is unlike love. There's time and space for
Speaker 1: everything I want to do. There's time and space for
Speaker 1: everything I want to do. Okay, Noah, hit me with,
Speaker 1: hit me with something. You've been struggling with. Neck pains,
Speaker 1: neck pains, neck pains. All right, let's go to Oh
Speaker 1: my god, they have everything in here. This is cool
Speaker 1: neck problems, okay. Re refusing to see other sides of
Speaker 1: a question, stubbornness and flexibility. Okay, And this is your mantra.
Speaker 1: It is with flexibility and ease that I see all
Speaker 1: sides of an issue. There are endless ways of doing
Speaker 1: things and seeing things. I am safe. I know it's
Speaker 1: a long one, but that's one that you can like
Speaker 1: write a bunch, you know, like you can almost do
Speaker 1: like a Bart Simpson beginning of sentence where I'm sending
Speaker 1: these to both of you right now. This book again
Speaker 1: is called You Can You Can Heal Your Life by
Speaker 1: Luise Hey. Oh Luise Hey is like uh Guru of
Speaker 1: the s. Yeah, dude, what's heartburn? Heartburn is? I breathe
Speaker 1: freely and fully. I am safe. I trust the process
Speaker 1: of life. WHOA, that's you, dude. I love how all
Speaker 1: of this is like let going go with the flow.
Speaker 1: With the flow, dude, I am uh yeah, I I'm
Speaker 1: I'm into this ship. I'm into like letting go, forgiving yourself,
Speaker 1: forgiving yourself as I think the biggest lesson I've learned
Speaker 1: over the post past year and a half is like
Speaker 1: being able to be okay with whatever you do and
Speaker 1: being like so many people are talking about Alec Baldwin
Speaker 1: thing real quick and then we'll get to the news
Speaker 1: and this is all say on it except you know
Speaker 1: obviously the how horrible it was, and I just unbelievable.
Speaker 1: It is like it truly feels like something you that
Speaker 1: would happen in a fever dream, like a news alert
Speaker 1: that would show up on your phone in a dream.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about his last movie? So well? Probably
Speaker 1: is going to be um I it um I. Someone
Speaker 1: was saying to me, like, if you were him, you
Speaker 1: would never be the like you would never be able
Speaker 1: to forgive yourself. You would never be able to your
Speaker 1: life would be ruined forever. Or like, let's say if
Speaker 1: you accidentally if you accidentally killed someone in any way,
Speaker 1: and even if it was your fault, say you're texting
Speaker 1: or driving whatever, like you could never forgive yourself. I
Speaker 1: truly believe I could, And maybe that makes me crazy,
Speaker 1: but it's not like I want to do that. I
Speaker 1: I feel like I could forgive someone who took the
Speaker 1: life accidentally of a family member of mine or a
Speaker 1: loved one like I could for or even my own
Speaker 1: if there's an afterlife. And I like, I saw this
Speaker 1: guy get sentenced to years in prison for speeding. He
Speaker 1: was going a hundred to his child speeding in Florida
Speaker 1: in a drag race, and he killed this woman, And
Speaker 1: I was thinking, if I were that woman, I would
Speaker 1: not want this guy to go away for twenty five years.
Speaker 1: Like it's I don't know, that's a separate issue, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to get d m s about it
Speaker 1: and being like you're such a monster. But I hope
Speaker 1: Alec Baldwin can forgive himself. I hope he can have
Speaker 1: a good life after this and that he doesn't suffer
Speaker 1: the rest of his life with just immense gilt crouching
Speaker 1: on the street crying, like, I hope he can smile
Speaker 1: again some day, and that we don't make him out
Speaker 1: to be a villain for having being able to have
Speaker 1: a happy life again. He didn't mean to He choosed
Speaker 1: to do that, and maybe maybe he is. Maybe there's
Speaker 1: some world in which he did something wrong by even
Speaker 1: pointing the gun at something, you know, like maybe there's
Speaker 1: something he did wrong in that scenario. Even then, I
Speaker 1: hope he can forgive himself someday. I hope that a
Speaker 1: d can forgive himself today. I hope you know, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying what they did was okay and like we
Speaker 1: should just let it go. What I'm saying is I
Speaker 1: just think that I could forgive anything if the person
Speaker 1: truly didn't mean to do it, and even in cases
Speaker 1: where they did mean to do it, because I don't
Speaker 1: think people actually choose to what their brain wants him
Speaker 1: to do. I saw this powerful video of this of
Speaker 1: this murder. This guy murdered the guy's son, and oh
Speaker 1: I love that video. Holy sh it. The father of
Speaker 1: the son who was murdered forgives the guy in front
Speaker 1: of the whole courtroom. The chills in it was like
Speaker 1: wild but like I do think who you know the
Speaker 1: unfortunately the woman that was killed, um if her family
Speaker 1: was able to forgive him and my I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I haven't done any research on like I think that
Speaker 1: even if they didn't forgive me, I could learn to
Speaker 1: forgive myself. And I hope that it doesn't it his
Speaker 1: forgiveness of himself is not dependent on their forgiveness, because
Speaker 1: it isn't. It honestly isn't. But I know I'm just
Speaker 1: saying it helps if it shouldn't. I just I think
Speaker 1: it can go all the way down to like forgiving
Speaker 1: yourself for I mean, this comes down the body image stuff.
Speaker 1: I was only able to arrive at this kind of
Speaker 1: like blanket forgiveness because I struggled so much with like
Speaker 1: I hating myself. I'm such a messy person. I am
Speaker 1: sometimes mean to my friends. I my why is my
Speaker 1: my spray tan is so disgusting. I look dirty all
Speaker 1: the time. I have bags undermindes because I didn't sleep
Speaker 1: right when I should have slept, I should have gotten
Speaker 1: my roots done all and I just like every day
Speaker 1: I just have to remind myself, like you didn't mean
Speaker 1: to look this way today. You didn't want to be
Speaker 1: moving to your friend. You didn't check a box and
Speaker 1: go in an hour, I'm going to be mean to Andrew.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. It just happens. You can forgive yourself,
Speaker 1: you can make amends and you can try your You
Speaker 1: can you murder me, you murder me? How long you morning?
Speaker 1: I mean? Are we talking a day? My murder? You'm
Speaker 1: probably not going to mourn because I'm like insane. I'm
Speaker 1: probably like, yeah, okay, let's get to the news. No answer,
Speaker 1: you in the fifth right back? Where are you going?
Speaker 1: He's going to grab something? He said, Oh interesting, Oh
Speaker 1: I know when he's grabbing. What is he grabbing? Did
Speaker 1: he get my mom to record it? Did he call
Speaker 1: my mom? Because if it's him doing just kidding, I
Speaker 1: don't think that's gonna cut it. I am a feeling
Speaker 1: he over speaker phone. He got my mom to do
Speaker 1: just kidding? That's my guess, is my guess. But I
Speaker 1: want But he doesn't know that. I just producted that
Speaker 1: because he doesn't have a sad he doesn't know. All right,
Speaker 1: I'm excited for what you just got. Okay, let's get
Speaker 1: into it. It is Tuesday, you know, what that means, folks,
Speaker 1: It's Tuesday, and boy, are we having a great time here,
Speaker 1: aren't we. That's the best she could do. I call it.
Speaker 1: I mean while you were gone, I said, let me guess.
Speaker 1: He called her on speaker phone and recorded it. She
Speaker 1: made me repeat it too. She's such a glazer. Yeah, second,
Speaker 1: think it was bad too, She goes, just kidding, it's
Speaker 1: jes kidding. Are you telling your mom out how she
Speaker 1: does her own voice? Yeah, because she's trying too hard
Speaker 1: in that one, because we'll get a better one later
Speaker 1: in person. But having all the swells out there, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you that. Okay, I kind of like it out. Okay,
Speaker 1: I apologize, and I've forgiven you. Hey, I had to
Speaker 1: worry that on Amazon. Listen. I know. As as soon
Speaker 1: as I realized later in the day, I go, I
Speaker 1: didn't think Andrew for ordering that thing. But were you
Speaker 1: waiting for me to thank you for that? Honestly? Okay?
Speaker 1: I feel like okay, all right. The National Confectioners Association
Speaker 1: whatever that means, uh, says eight percent of Americans say
Speaker 1: they enjoy eating candy corn on Halloween. Of that number
Speaker 1: say they eat it one piece at a time. What
Speaker 1: candy corn for some reason, one piece. That's who's eating
Speaker 1: handfuls of candy? Why is that even a part of
Speaker 1: the question. And how do you eat your candy corn? Well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing I'll go at least as a kid,
Speaker 1: I would. I would bite the little white part off
Speaker 1: at the bottom first and then get to Actually I
Speaker 1: would then eat the gold and then get to the
Speaker 1: very little tip. I'm guessing none of it tastes any
Speaker 1: different than the other parts. I was a fan of
Speaker 1: candy corn. Now here's the thing. You eat fifteen fantastic,
Speaker 1: eat forty you feel the worst you've ever felt. Just
Speaker 1: a sugar bomb and it's waxy and it's just filling. Yeah,
Speaker 1: candy corn is a very polarizing confection. Um I like it. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't eat candy anymore. But man, I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: I liked candy corn. It's you know, it's not up
Speaker 1: there with the conversation hearts around Valentine's Dame in terms
Speaker 1: of holiday themed candy. But candy corn is not terrible.
Speaker 1: But it is not the first candy I would ever
Speaker 1: go to, and I don't I think it doesn't even
Speaker 1: break my top one candies. But you want to know
Speaker 1: how I know candy corn isn't great. Huh, you don't
Speaker 1: fucking eat at any other week of the year. Like,
Speaker 1: it's the same reason why we don't eat Thanksgiving. Even
Speaker 1: thanks Giving meals better than candy corn. But if it
Speaker 1: was so great, we would do it more than once.
Speaker 1: That's my thing. Do we we get we When have
Speaker 1: you bought candy corn outside of October? Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving might
Speaker 1: have been about analogy, but well no, But you're probably right,
Speaker 1: But I think Thanksgiving is delicious? Why do we wait?
Speaker 1: But why don't we do Christmas a bunch? Because that
Speaker 1: also feels good to give a ton of toys. And
Speaker 1: I guess it feels good because we do it into
Speaker 1: year and yeah, but candy corn no one's jones and
Speaker 1: for that people are doing snickers all year. My point is,
Speaker 1: we do all this other Halloween candy year year round,
Speaker 1: but candy corn we keep it there. Valentine hearts, we
Speaker 1: keep it there. There's got to be a reason talking
Speaker 1: about candy corns. Man felt nausea. Yeah, same, it's gross.
Speaker 1: Would you rather have baby corn or candy? I hate
Speaker 1: baby that little like the little corn that isn't corn
Speaker 1: like the thing in top Tom Hanks and big goes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what is it? It's not actual corn? Wait? What gets
Speaker 1: a vegetable in and of itself? But it looks like corn?
Speaker 1: Did you notice what? Sorry? I was looking at something
Speaker 1: for the show. Is little corn? Baby corn? Not corn?
Speaker 1: Wait it's not. I don't think so, no, I really
Speaker 1: do think? Wait? Is baby corn? Corn? Is baby corn? Corn?
Speaker 1: I never eat baby corn? Okay, comes from regular corn. Okay,
Speaker 1: it can come from any number of kinds of varieties,
Speaker 1: but it's just picked at a much earlier stage. Oh,
Speaker 1: never mind, Okay, for something I heard that it was
Speaker 1: like corn. Sorry wait wait, wait it says the adorable
Speaker 1: mystery of where baby corn comes from is officially solved.
Speaker 1: Um oh, unlike baby carrots, these miniatures really deserve their name. Okay,
Speaker 1: so they are baby corn, but baby carrots are actually
Speaker 1: just carrots cut down to baby size. Okay yeah so
Speaker 1: wait all right, So why don't we I know this
Speaker 1: is This isn't a joke. It's an immature ear of corn.
Speaker 1: It's an immature ear of corn. So it laughs at
Speaker 1: fart jokes. Why not a corn in between that big
Speaker 1: gass corn and the baby corn, like I've never seen
Speaker 1: a teenager corn. I'm not gonna corn corn. I'm saying, no,
Speaker 1: that would be nice. I get there. I'm saying, I
Speaker 1: like a scrumched just corn boy like getting in there.
Speaker 1: But it's but you know, with a big corn, you
Speaker 1: can't eat the inside, but a baby corn you can inside.
Speaker 1: So maybe a teenager corn would just be so weirdly
Speaker 1: in between the two that it would be like some
Speaker 1: people eat apples with like the whole core, you know,
Speaker 1: they eat it from the top, like they twist off
Speaker 1: the thing and just got hardly eat the outside of
Speaker 1: a banana. Yeah, well, wait till the finale is squid game,
Speaker 1: you'll see all right. Next story, alright, a woman makes
Speaker 1: utter butter out of her own breast milk, says her
Speaker 1: husband loves it. To me, it tastes like you know,
Speaker 1: when you burp, and it kind of tastes like throw up,
Speaker 1: she said of her memory mark. You're in you guys,
Speaker 1: I'm sting up. However, this is baby corn. This is
Speaker 1: a candy corn. The nausea from candy corn is now
Speaker 1: turned into morning sickness. Not many people known as utter
Speaker 1: milk makes all baby I just I'm not into breast milk.
Speaker 1: Things like just it turns me on, though, Like on
Speaker 1: TikTok you'll see a woman milking your kid and are
Speaker 1: getting milk. Our kid gets something's milky, and it turns
Speaker 1: me on a lot. Like you see a little bit
Speaker 1: of a nipple and their boots are usually filled to
Speaker 1: the bread and there's a baby like sucking or nipple,
Speaker 1: which is what guys due to us. So it's like
Speaker 1: it is the same thing. It doesn't outside you're you're
Speaker 1: usually like in a park, you're where your tits shouldn't be.
Speaker 1: The milk itself turn on like the thing coming out
Speaker 1: of it. Okay, So it's just so you're just saying
Speaker 1: something sucking on a tip. I guess it could be anything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess it could. Yeah, it could have been tip
Speaker 1: coming out. It's not out in the wild where apparently
Speaker 1: it shouldn't be. But she's like, you know what, I'm milking.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do my tits in Walmart. It's not milking.
Speaker 1: It's called breastfeeding. We're pumping. Yeah they Yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think there's anything wrong with that
Speaker 1: being a turn on. Are you ever turned on by
Speaker 1: pregnant women a little bit, A little bit um, I
Speaker 1: guess because you can't get them bregnant again. No, but
Speaker 1: I don't think that's it. I'm just saying that the
Speaker 1: other day. There's something about like just it's just like
Speaker 1: it's just like I don't know why fertile, they're like,
Speaker 1: you know, they're fertile. Yeah, and it's a healthy look
Speaker 1: for someone. They're like radiating a lot of times. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that there's like a chemical response to pregnancy where women's
Speaker 1: cheeks get a little redder and there he gets thicker
Speaker 1: like us. Yes, yes, but it's so interesting that, yeah,
Speaker 1: that that would be a turn on when that means
Speaker 1: that they can't get pregnant with you. Like, everything that
Speaker 1: we're attracted to is because we want to like procreate,
Speaker 1: and that means that that woman is taken by another man.
Speaker 1: So you're like cock hold in a way, and you
Speaker 1: can't get it pregnant, so like or that girl, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's just it's interesting that that would be a
Speaker 1: turn on. But I guess the other things and I
Speaker 1: wonder why you get super glowy and more attractive when
Speaker 1: you're pregning. It's probably because if that didn't happen. This
Speaker 1: is just my guess as someone who knows nothing. And
Speaker 1: so that women so that women that are pregnant won't
Speaker 1: be cast aside and like shunned by men who could
Speaker 1: potentially harm them if they weren't fuckable. So it's like
Speaker 1: protect them while they're pregnant because the men still want
Speaker 1: them around to fuck. Because that's everything to procreate, Like
Speaker 1: that's our drive. Why do we have condoms and and
Speaker 1: birth control and all that, which because our cognitive Yeah,
Speaker 1: because cognitively we you know, our our monkey brain wants
Speaker 1: us to procreate. But we you know, the brain that
Speaker 1: is also on TikTok all the day, all the time,
Speaker 1: and like laughs, like has our brain that's updated. That's
Speaker 1: part of our brain that's like working in the now
Speaker 1: that one doesn't want to get pregnant, but you can't
Speaker 1: the subconscious you can't turn off. But the conscious thinking
Speaker 1: doesn't want to get pregnant, but you're still motivated by
Speaker 1: the need to to get things pregnant because if you weren't,
Speaker 1: you would just come on their stomach with ease. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't need uh, or you would just get a hand
Speaker 1: job or something. There's something about putting a penis in
Speaker 1: a vagina that is very uh, you want it for
Speaker 1: some reason, even if right, but so as a hand
Speaker 1: or so does a uh between ask cheeks or like
Speaker 1: tits or mouth. But there's something about a pussy that
Speaker 1: you just got to get in there. And I think
Speaker 1: it's not just about it feels good. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's just that. I know so many guys I know
Speaker 1: are so afraid of of like they don't even think
Speaker 1: of as they go, Oh you bang without economy are
Speaker 1: and you're scared you're gonna get her pregnant, Like so
Speaker 1: many guys, their biggest fear is pregnancy over STDA you
Speaker 1: can't help, but they're subconscious still wants to put it
Speaker 1: in raw do yeah to get it. You're drawn to
Speaker 1: it because your whole, all your d n A, which
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with what you're thinking, um, is
Speaker 1: begging you to put come into women. And that's why
Speaker 1: you're that's why you get distracted by billboards that have
Speaker 1: sexy women on them, like there's you're like, oh like
Speaker 1: that that's something I want to fuck. It's not because
Speaker 1: you're like she's pretty, Like she's pretty is your brain now,
Speaker 1: But like just think it's oh, she's hot, but really,
Speaker 1: deep down it's I want to fuck that and I
Speaker 1: want to get that. I want to put semen in
Speaker 1: that to get it pregnant. I want more of me.
Speaker 1: I want my DNA to keep going. Pro is not
Speaker 1: more common billboards, but then you'd have to climb My god,
Speaker 1: did you see the billboard I took a picture of
Speaker 1: the other day, or my story or Instagram story. It's
Speaker 1: the new I know what you did last summer. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: there was come all over everyone on it. There's just
Speaker 1: that's like it's like period blood come because it's like
Speaker 1: tinted pink, but it's calm. It's crazy looking. That was
Speaker 1: really disturbing. It's so funny. No one knows I'm in
Speaker 1: l A until I post one thing on my story
Speaker 1: and then all all my l A friends are like,
Speaker 1: you're here, and I'm like, god, it's just because I
Speaker 1: had to make a com comment a comment, and now
Speaker 1: now I feel like, you know, being antisocial if I
Speaker 1: don't hang without anyone. But it's so hard to fit
Speaker 1: in hangs. There's something about just being in a hotel
Speaker 1: room and being alone that I just want to just be.
Speaker 1: I just don't want to do anything. All right, let's
Speaker 1: take a quick break and come back with Reddit Guy
Speaker 1: karaoke mode. This is your Reddit dum. Alright, it's Tuesday.
Speaker 1: That means we're going to clear out all of my
Speaker 1: saved posts on Reddit, where I go every single night
Speaker 1: before I go to bed and I save things that
Speaker 1: I think you guys would like. Um. This one I
Speaker 1: saved last night and I alluded to it today at
Speaker 1: the top of the show. This is the song that
Speaker 1: an Italian man made two because he was so annoyed
Speaker 1: with Italians loving any song that was just American English
Speaker 1: speaking person even though they don't speak English. So he
Speaker 1: decided to make up a fake English speaking song that
Speaker 1: is gibberish English, and it went to number one immediately
Speaker 1: despite not meaning anything. So here's a song. And it
Speaker 1: actually before he put out I don't really know the
Speaker 1: history of it, but this song put him on the map.
Speaker 1: We're to sign to shoot to set. You can't make
Speaker 1: any other words out. It's amazing, like David Hasselhoff would
Speaker 1: have saying that it's such a good song. And it's
Speaker 1: called what is it called, It's called prison. Colin and
Speaker 1: Syniculas Soul the artist is Adriana selling Toano C E
Speaker 1: L E N T A n O um hold on.
Speaker 1: I think this might be a louder One's interesting how
Speaker 1: far Europe is ahead of us in regards to like history.
Speaker 1: But god did we jump in the music so quick?
Speaker 1: Watch you gotta watch this just Adriana Selntano and it's
Speaker 1: actually a good song. It's really fun to listen to. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get to the next day. No, he's like an
Speaker 1: old man. Uh, it's it's really good. Okay, stop playing,
Speaker 1: stop playing? Okay. This was from ask credit. It said
Speaker 1: people who fuck good, what's your secret? And it reminded
Speaker 1: me of you, Andrew Um when you say on stage,
Speaker 1: I don't fuck good. So someone said, learn what you
Speaker 1: genuinely enjoy and find partners who enjoy having that done
Speaker 1: to them. When the puzzle pieces are just right, you
Speaker 1: always bat a thousand in the box. In the box,
Speaker 1: enthusiasm can't be faked. And it's such a good feeling
Speaker 1: knowing you're desired to the maximum. I think that's pretty
Speaker 1: much it. Find out what you like doing or giving
Speaker 1: and what you like receiving, and find someone who likes
Speaker 1: giving that. It's like love languages. I think that's that's
Speaker 1: when you fuck good. Be teachable, listen, don't be self interested,
Speaker 1: and communicate. Um. Someone said, I used to fuck good.
Speaker 1: I used to fuck for good. Now I funk for evil.
Speaker 1: That's just a funny predator. Um. Someone said, take pride
Speaker 1: in your work and love what you do. What do
Speaker 1: you think makes someone fun good? I think communications the
Speaker 1: best part, and I think doing it outside the bedroom,
Speaker 1: talking about it before you're in the middle of everything,
Speaker 1: you can really help. I think, yeah, finding someone. That's
Speaker 1: why I kind of like being able to talk so
Speaker 1: frankly about sex, because people that I'm you know, I
Speaker 1: generally know someone before I start a sexual relationship with them.
Speaker 1: I know them in a way that is in a
Speaker 1: sexual way, and so at least like usually there are
Speaker 1: people that I'm like working with our friends with and
Speaker 1: I'm so usually a lot of my work entails talking
Speaker 1: about sex. So it's it's easy to find the people
Speaker 1: that go, oh, yeah, I'm into that too, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh great, okay, noted that they like that too, and
Speaker 1: so you can kind of find at But I think
Speaker 1: most people when they're dating do not throw it out
Speaker 1: there to someone before they even know you like them,
Speaker 1: so just to kind of feel out their sexual dress, well,
Speaker 1: I don't even know. Sometimes it gets me thinking about
Speaker 1: someone in that way because I'll be just talking about
Speaker 1: sex in general with you know, a group of people
Speaker 1: or whatever a situation, and there might be someone that
Speaker 1: I'm interested in. But if I say something, if I
Speaker 1: get the conversation going about talking about sex, frankly, hearing
Speaker 1: what they're into and seeing at how it aligns with
Speaker 1: what I'm into, even before sex is on the table
Speaker 1: for us, or even that can be that can why
Speaker 1: don't we start there? So many times we start with
Speaker 1: like am I attracted to them, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: is starting with sex anyway, Like that's a sexual thing
Speaker 1: to be like into looks like when we're on these apps,
Speaker 1: But like saying what you like sexually in an app
Speaker 1: without the without the expectation that you have to do
Speaker 1: that thing might lead to better compatibility. You know what.
Speaker 1: My only thought it is those like if you find
Speaker 1: out just through like a quick conversation that they aren't
Speaker 1: into what you're into, or at least you assume that,
Speaker 1: then it couldn't kind of get in the way of
Speaker 1: you maybe pursuing them based off I think it should.
Speaker 1: You know, I've I've said certain things and people are
Speaker 1: like not into Asia, I don't want it, And it's
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, I don't want to be with someone
Speaker 1: who won't do that to me or I'm gonna or
Speaker 1: they have to be okay with me getting that somewhere
Speaker 1: else or like they need or they need to be
Speaker 1: open to it. I understand, being like I've never done it,
Speaker 1: and it's just like but yeah, you can kind of
Speaker 1: get a reaction from someone if they're going to be
Speaker 1: like chill with stuff for sure, Like like like if
Speaker 1: someone's like whoa man, whoa, it's like I've a lot.
Speaker 1: Did you see the latest curb? No, though I love
Speaker 1: that read guy. There's a new episode out and Larry
Speaker 1: is dating um funk what's her name? She's the Asian Actors.
Speaker 1: I don't mean for it to come full shirt. No,
Speaker 1: she was Lucy Lou and Larry and they're like about
Speaker 1: there on their second date. They're about to get it
Speaker 1: on and Larry walks into a glass door. She won't
Speaker 1: after find him attractive anymore. And yes, it just makes
Speaker 1: me think of like these little things that like can
Speaker 1: just end it. Yeah, I love that she was like,
Speaker 1: I can't because a lot of times I think girls
Speaker 1: would just go through with it even though they're like,
Speaker 1: oh boy and listen, girls do the same stuff, like
Speaker 1: we've we've done things. I'm sure that guys are just
Speaker 1: like that took me out of it, that things she said,
Speaker 1: that things she did. But it sucks that one thing
Speaker 1: can do it. It just it sucks. Then you have
Speaker 1: to be on your toes all the time. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's that is funny, but I think the same thing
Speaker 1: for guys. Though. Guys can get unattracted quickly for the
Speaker 1: dumbest thing. You see a piece of ankle hair and
Speaker 1: you're suddenly repulsed, you know, just you know, I yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I think that was the old me, but
Speaker 1: I think now it's four hairs. But yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I've changed a lot. But no, but yeah, no, I
Speaker 1: get it, I get it. Yeah, things definitely have taken
Speaker 1: me out for sure. It just sucks. At like one,
Speaker 1: like a hundred things can go right and it's like
Speaker 1: you run into a glass door and it's just like
Speaker 1: you fucking you're old, and like she like looked at
Speaker 1: him as like he's decrepit like he just aged and
Speaker 1: I sometimes that bumbling thing like they're just that you
Speaker 1: like a guy who's confident and knows what he's doing,
Speaker 1: and you see a guy fall and like slam it.
Speaker 1: It's just like it's just sometimes I'm afraid with Brenna
Speaker 1: is like one day she's gonna go, oh, you're like old,
Speaker 1: like like like I'm gonna do like I'm gonna eat
Speaker 1: like Brand muffins instead of like uh, you know, a
Speaker 1: sausage sandwich or something, and she's gonna be like, oh
Speaker 1: you're eating like, oh you have to eat Brand. Suddenly
Speaker 1: it's just gonna like dawn on her how old you are?
Speaker 1: Like suddenly she's gonna learn she's going to take that
Speaker 1: math class that really makes it. She's gonna there's she's
Speaker 1: gonna figure out the number that the number is sixteen
Speaker 1: is the years you guys are different? Yeah that, I
Speaker 1: mean that would be such a fear of mine, of
Speaker 1: seeming old someday of just like when is it going
Speaker 1: to click? Like right now it's okay, like you're not
Speaker 1: old yet, you're forty one, but like when she's forty one,
Speaker 1: you're fifty seven. Yeah, yes, that's exactly Okay, yeah it does. Actually,
Speaker 1: the older she gets, I think, the less it will
Speaker 1: seem weird. But I do feel like I I tend
Speaker 1: to not wear like old man clothes. You know, if
Speaker 1: I wore khakis and a button down and comb my
Speaker 1: hair with a part where you hairlines, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that I would. But the thing about fucking good, And
Speaker 1: I feel like there have been times where a section
Speaker 1: like I'm not into someone physically or you know, the
Speaker 1: kiss was off or something. And I've heard my friends
Speaker 1: say like that you can fix nikki, you know, emotional
Speaker 1: intelligence and like someone's anger, jealousy issues like that stuff
Speaker 1: you seem to like want to take on that that
Speaker 1: shape like, oh I can change that. But like when
Speaker 1: someone's like, you know it's not sexually compatible right away,
Speaker 1: you just go not not gonna work. But and what
Speaker 1: is that? And I do I do believe that, Like
Speaker 1: I am so scared I think of making men feel
Speaker 1: insecure in bed and being a little bit too masculine
Speaker 1: energy of like do this, do that? And I I
Speaker 1: put up with I have put up with so much
Speaker 1: in bed that I didn't enjoy because I just don't
Speaker 1: want to hurt a guy's feelings. And like want them
Speaker 1: to feel like, Okay, it's not terrible what he's doing,
Speaker 1: but and it's certainly not what would work right now
Speaker 1: for me the best, And I do know what that
Speaker 1: would be, but I don't want to. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be a backseat driver for my own pus. What
Speaker 1: do you feel about that? Would you? If you're doing
Speaker 1: something to a girl and she knows an easy way
Speaker 1: to make it better, which is you leave and she
Speaker 1: uses a vibrator? Uh what you know? What would you
Speaker 1: prefer her to to say? Because you know, I just
Speaker 1: prefer a million percent. And I think a lot of
Speaker 1: guys would be way more open to it than then.
Speaker 1: You probably even think they're just doing what they think works,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's not like I'm sticking
Speaker 1: to this, this is my plan for me to come.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh no, oh, you want me to fuck
Speaker 1: you hard and put my thumb in your but okay, cool.
Speaker 1: You know, like if you say it too much, it
Speaker 1: becomes annoying because I can just give directions all day long,
Speaker 1: and I mean that's the thing. It's like I can't.
Speaker 1: Then I'm just gonna do it alone. And sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: just like maybe I will, you know, Like I don't
Speaker 1: know what's your example, Like Okay, let's say a guy's
Speaker 1: having sex with you ever so gently or whatever you
Speaker 1: do that like going down on me to like just
Speaker 1: like being like gentle when they're going like just not
Speaker 1: using any pressure. Like what would your directions be like
Speaker 1: if you were if you were a GPS, Like how
Speaker 1: can you do it in a way that might not
Speaker 1: seem annoying to the guy or maybe like seem like
Speaker 1: encouraging and not like you're doing it wrong? Maybe like uh,
Speaker 1: suck my clip? Okay, that works, that's not that direction,
Speaker 1: or like that's not that Hey, can you suck my
Speaker 1: clip more? That be dope? Yeah, But then they do
Speaker 1: that and it's not hard, and then I go harder
Speaker 1: and then they can't, and then it's just like oh god, alright,
Speaker 1: well then now I have to give some kind of
Speaker 1: positive reinforcement because they're at least trying, and then it
Speaker 1: feels like now when they when they try and they
Speaker 1: still failed. That's why that's why I don't like to
Speaker 1: give direction, is because when they try and they still fail,
Speaker 1: I have to. I can't be honest and go now
Speaker 1: just you know what, just forget about it. You know,
Speaker 1: it's just forget it final thought. Just kidding. Um. I
Speaker 1: think though, I think you gotta you go suck that
Speaker 1: click as hard as you can, and if they don't
Speaker 1: get there, you don't have to tell them that they
Speaker 1: didn't get there. But I think at least then you know,
Speaker 1: rather than why don't you rather know? I feel like
Speaker 1: I just know. I don't mean to be like, I
Speaker 1: just know, like I know just by the way we kiss,
Speaker 1: Like if this person and I are going to be
Speaker 1: sexually compatible, but you didn't think, like when we raced
Speaker 1: in the forty yard dash, it I would be so
Speaker 1: fast right until you saw how fast I was. So
Speaker 1: maybe that's the same thing with clip sucking. It's I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just don't know that I've ever been
Speaker 1: able to get it up for someone that I don't
Speaker 1: have it up for. Can I answer a question, do
Speaker 1: you think of a guy kisses too softly or like
Speaker 1: without enough tongue or whatever, then that will put in
Speaker 1: your brain at the like softly and too much chunk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it makes me think that they're probably gonna kiss me
Speaker 1: down there like that. That's what I'm asking, Like, does
Speaker 1: a woman think how a man kisses is the way.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing how a man dances is the
Speaker 1: way he'll make love. But I think there's probably a
Speaker 1: lot of great dancers that make up for probably being
Speaker 1: shitty in bed or maybe No, I don't really think
Speaker 1: about pussy eating when I'm like kissing someone. It just
Speaker 1: is the overall vibe of like sex, like I just
Speaker 1: like a little bit more of a um passionate like
Speaker 1: and and not like so much tongue right away leads
Speaker 1: me to believe like they're going to be the kind
Speaker 1: of person that just like tries to fuck you right
Speaker 1: away and isn't into like. I don't know if it
Speaker 1: takes a lot. I don't Anyone who's listening to this
Speaker 1: and thinking about kissing me someday is probably just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, the pressure, Like I gotta learn out
Speaker 1: of exert pressure. Yeah, just grab my neck a little bit.
Speaker 1: Just grab my neck a little bit. That's all I'm saying. Okay,
Speaker 1: one more thing. Um, there is this beam that was
Speaker 1: circulating that I found on on Reddit hole up h
Speaker 1: O l u P. And it's just like when it's
Speaker 1: just things that you are watching and then at the
Speaker 1: very end you're just like we wait what And this
Speaker 1: was a picture of a guy talking to his girlfriend
Speaker 1: on a flight and the girls crying. He's like consoling her.
Speaker 1: This guy the guy taking pictures, you know, across the
Speaker 1: aisle from them, and he's just taking picture and he goes,
Speaker 1: this guy on my flight just told his girlfriend he
Speaker 1: wouldn't date her if she was a worm, and she
Speaker 1: is crying. Worm. It's just like one of those things
Speaker 1: that girls do, like would you take me if I
Speaker 1: was a worm? And the guy was like no, and
Speaker 1: she's like what It just made me laugh. That's like
Speaker 1: one of those test girls give guys love a test
Speaker 1: when like or like sometimes like Brandon will say something
Speaker 1: and I'll reaffirm what she says, yeah, and she goes, well,
Speaker 1: why are you agreeing to that? And I'm like, well you,
Speaker 1: I'm just backing you up here, like just testing you
Speaker 1: to see if you like we'll just agree with her blindly. No,
Speaker 1: it's more like like, oh, I'm not good at this.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, it's not really your thing probably,
Speaker 1: and she's like wait no, yeah, like something like that,
Speaker 1: but not well, we all do things like that, like
Speaker 1: do I look fat in this? Like you know you're
Speaker 1: looking for someone to say that I don't do that.
Speaker 1: When is the answer to that? When when a girl
Speaker 1: does that, when you go, I'm just not good at things,
Speaker 1: and when you fad thing the fat thing, especially because
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing, you're crazy, You're you're seriously
Speaker 1: you have body this morphia. What you were seeing is
Speaker 1: not what I'm seeing. But also be honest, if she
Speaker 1: does look fat at it, say I just think it's
Speaker 1: you look better in a different like you don't have
Speaker 1: to lie to say that outfit is telling you lies.
Speaker 1: Try something else, because that that you are not fat
Speaker 1: and that outfit is just not doing you well. Fast
Speaker 1: forward to forty outfits on the bed and be like, no,
Speaker 1: that service bag, who knows what's underneath that? And that
Speaker 1: one that's the one to go with, okay, And then
Speaker 1: this is one the last thing. It's just from Reddit,
Speaker 1: the subreddit cool guides, just like cool like little tips,
Speaker 1: and this says this is about um two different snakes
Speaker 1: that look very similar. They're both snakes that are like red,
Speaker 1: yellow and black striped. I think we've all seen those
Speaker 1: kinds of snakes. And this is a little mneumonic device
Speaker 1: to let you know which one you can funk with
Speaker 1: and which one you shouldn't. So the eastern coral snake
Speaker 1: is venomous and it says uh, and its lines are uh.
Speaker 1: It says red touch, yellow kills a fellow, Red touch black,
Speaker 1: friend of jack. So if the red and the black touch,
Speaker 1: you can touch that snake. But if the red and
Speaker 1: the yellow touched, it kills a fellow. I just hated
Speaker 1: this because just don't touch any snakes. No, well guess.
Speaker 1: But also yellow is the common denominate. What they're They
Speaker 1: all have yellow, black, and red. So look at these snakes.
Speaker 1: They both look very similar to The off one is
Speaker 1: red touch, hello, kill a fellow, and the second, the
Speaker 1: bottom one, the red and the yellow do not touch.
Speaker 1: They're separated by black, and that is wait, a friend
Speaker 1: of jack, So that means you can touch it. I
Speaker 1: have seen this fourteen times, said it in my head
Speaker 1: a number of times, and still today wouldn't know if
Speaker 1: the snake came in what to fucking do? And I
Speaker 1: would not remember a little cute seem not pneumonic device.
Speaker 1: I would just say like lefty lucy, righty tidy, that's
Speaker 1: scream and get bit yeah, and then your neck will
Speaker 1: stop hurting all right, Thank you guys, Jeff Kadon, I'll
Speaker 1: be back tomorrow in St. Louis with Noah and Andrew
Speaker 1: lots then and we have a live show tomorrow in St. Louis, Missouri.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much to everyone who's coming out to that.
Speaker 1: Can't wait to see you. But we will also see
Speaker 1: you on the podcast tomorrow in person. Um, I'm taking
Speaker 1: the Red Eye out tonight after my taping, so uh
Speaker 1: see you then. Don't be cut and I don't Jackie
Speaker 1: Jane M