WEBVTT - Conversations About Toxic Relationships 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:04.360 Watch up and welcome back to another episode and no 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:07.520 Sillers podcast with your host. Now funk that with your 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:16.560 low glasses malone the most toxic things somebody said to you, 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:25.240 Hockey Uma, sack your ass out. Because I couldn't recover 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:28.639 from that. He was like, all you kept thinking about, like, 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:34.400 wait a minute, what did you say? Yeah, I need 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:37.000 to know why would the niggas ain't gonna sock you? 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:39.960 Like that's some sick an my hockey of all people, 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:42.640 come ball Because I was already over the situation. I 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:44.440 didn't want to have sex, and I was like, no, 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:46.560 heck your ass out because you don't give me some 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:51.000 like Rodney some baby boy. He said, rap you in 0:00:51.040 --> 0:01:01.840 front of your son? Just fine. So how many podcasts 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:05.680 I've done so far? I've done three with her? Three? 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:10.560 I did four. I did appear by myself you twice 0:01:11.240 --> 0:01:14.600 the first one, three times in the fourth one, and 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:17.119 then I wanted to extra not did three extras from 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:20.959 somebody else's podcast too, from Kim and then to one 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.959 from the cup check Pot. What made you want to 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:29.160 do podcasts? Anyway? One day my friend has been doing 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.960 it like a podcast for over like two years. Is 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:34.560 about a relationship. She just came to me and was like, 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:36.800 I want you to be on my podcast, and I 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:41.440 was like, okay, I'm fine with that. And then when 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:43.880 we got I was nervous like that. But when we 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.440 got into it, I'm started talking. I started getting I'm 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:49.240 like I could do this. I could talk to people 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:52.000 about how I'm feeling. And it actually was theraputic for 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:53.600 me because I just got out of like an ad 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:56.720 break up. Why was it bad? Um? I was with 0:01:56.800 --> 0:02:02.080 my daughter father freak levin years and throughout the course 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:08.359 of the eleven years, um toxic, very toxic, like severely toxic. 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:15.000 Both yeah, both, I started getting toxic, like it's toxic, 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.760 start rubbing off on me. So I started doing m 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:22.760 I'm not the victim me, So I started doing things 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.640 out of my not my character. I told you a 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:29.160 little bit how how he is. You know what it is. 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:32.440 So I'm gonna tell you about me because she FeelA 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.240 be on my head. But that's not I'm a listener. 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:38.680 I'm not a hearer, right, So if you tell me something, 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:42.760 I don't react to how it makes me feel, right, right, 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:45.440 that's not what I do. I listened to what you 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:48.240 say and then I asked questions based off of what 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:52.280 you're saying. Understandable hearing right, hearing. I say this all 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:57.720 the time. Hearing is like a bodily function. Everybody can 0:02:57.760 --> 0:03:00.280 hear if you're not deaf right, so you can act 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:03.720 to how something makes you feel when you hear it. Listen. 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.800 Listen is a skill, like I listen. That's my skill. 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:11.160 So if you say something to me, I'm listening to you, 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:14.799 and then I'm gonna ask questions based off me listening. 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:23.720 Here most people don't listen. She's a heart like, that's 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:26.280 just me. But we were both toxic because we were. 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:28.600 First of all, we were young. What's the most toxic 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:36.880 thing that you did too? Said to him. Yeah, go 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:39.680 to a club that he invited me to. He invited 0:03:39.720 --> 0:03:41.400 me to a club and his all his friends was 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:45.280 out there. But but it was me because I'm the 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:48.560 one that's not I started because I didn't have to 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:50.320 go to the club doing that. But I went to 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:54.640 the club with my feelings on my shoulder. And when 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.200 I walk in the club, it's like women in front 0:03:57.240 --> 0:04:01.080 of him. Mind you, he's smoking and with his friends 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:02.880 or whatever, but it's women in front of him and 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:05.600 they just dancing all on him, and my quick reaction 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:07.520 was like, what the fuck, And that's what I did. 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:10.200 I did a reaction like that because I'm going off 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:12.440 a pass hurt from what he did and I'm not 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:14.560 over it, but but we're still together in a relationship, 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:16.560 knowing I should have probably got out of the relationship 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:21.040 because the past hurt was just like way too much 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.960 to get over, and they just you know, when you 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:27.000 try to forgive somebody and they keep doing the same 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:29.080 thing over and over again, and you're just putting a 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:30.960 band aid on it. You're just suppressing it because you're 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:33.200 not really over because how can you be over it 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:35.200 when they keep doing the same thing over and over again, 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:37.160 even though they're saying sorry, But you're the crazy one 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:39.279 because you still say it in it. So I have 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:40.960 to fight myself because I went in the club start 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:43.200 acting the food. Both of us got kicked out, dragged 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.640 out the club by security. I lost my shoes, my 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:48.480 cousin lost her phone, was getting ready to fight these women. 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:51.320 Other dudes thought that he was trying to fight me, 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:54.960 and they started trying to attack him because they thinking 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.320 that they're trying to protect me, But it really was 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.760 me I'm the one that's heard it. I started that. 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:04.040 So you're just scared that whatever happened in the past 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:07.400 was gonna happen with these new girls dancing on him. 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:13.840 Um kia right, I'm assumed kill that you called him 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:20.120 cheating he had a baby? Did y'all break up? Like? 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:23.960 Was it the kind of relationship where kid, y'all broke up, 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:26.119 like y'all be on and off, where y'are not talking 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:28.599 for a couple of days in the weeks and that 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.080 kind of cheating or like literally y'all in a happy 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:36.440 home and the first time we were um in a 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:39.120 happy home. The second time we broke up for like 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:41.680 a week and he got somebody pregnant. He got his 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:46.719 ex pregnant. So now my daughter has a I was 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:49.560 listening to you more where you said that was him? 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:53.240 Is that something that's a big thing, like gon need 0:05:53.279 --> 0:05:57.800 somebody dancing on your guy? Me personally, but she was 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:00.280 younger at the time, So for me, I was in 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:04.880 my my experiences to somebody else to the club with me. 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:08.960 My experiences were relationships and things I've learned and been 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.680 around my like guy cousins. After I got out of 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:15.320 my relationship, I learned things and was able. I'm more 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:18.520 able to understand things and look at at it from 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:22.120 a different perspective than my mind at thirty two and 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:27.320 thirty three. We have an understand of what we have 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:31.640 and I know women are gonna react. You know, men 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:35.120 is going to react. So as long as it's not disrespectful. 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:37.200 We know what we're doing and we know what it is, 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.840 and we have this understanding because this is what we 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:43.480 talked about prior to getting in the relationship or how 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:46.560 we get down with each other. It's just certain things, no, 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:50.560 but that doesn't mean what she believe in is not 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:54.200 right or wrong. You know, everybody has their own but 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:58.479 now no, certain little things like and it also depends 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:03.320 on dancing, like you know how they were dancing there away. 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:06.080 Somebody can dance while you're in a relationship. That's too far, 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.960 even though it's just dancing. She had on a white dress. 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:13.000 The dress stopped like here. Does it matter though, because 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:16.400 it's like, but the dress don't but her assholes out 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.880 and it was all on his But does that really matter? 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:25.400 It's not really like it was just like I don't know, 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.640 abody grinding my man? Are you invited me here? While 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:29.320 we're not about to grind on my man. And then 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:32.640 I don't think y'all just that's a bit much. Have 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:36.800 some brandy, okay with somebody grinding on your dick, I 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:39.160 don't know. I mean, I hope don't do it. Don't don't, 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:41.800 don't try to go out, but don't. But would you 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:44.920 even allow that to happen? I mean, I think my 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:48.360 personality comes. I mean I've had girls grind on me 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:51.240 in the relationship. Like I don't think I looked at 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:53.720 it nothing. I saw somebody dancing, but you was there 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.960 by yourself or your woman was there? Did you invite 0:07:57.040 --> 0:07:59.400 your woman? Because I feel like because he invited me, 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:01.080 he could have did that by yourself. You know what, 0:08:01.160 --> 0:08:04.760 you don't It's all different. A man, I'm gonna do 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:09.520 certain things when any probably wasn't worth life. I probably 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:13.000 wasn't worried about too much of the dancing I brought past. 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:17.640 I brought her to the It was a trigger for 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:20.880 I brought that made you feel some type of way. 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:29.080 No seilings, gl I got some really great people from 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:36.880 a podcast that we started, uh Cocktails with Kia and Mahogany. 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:44.559 Kia say hi, so everybody say Hi, So everybody, Okay, 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:51.360 So what exactly is toxic? When you say that? Like, 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:54.480 what does that really? Like? You know, there's a thousand 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.800 words why you got a new song I'll called toxic 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:01.720 and toxic? What actually is toxic? Like? What are we 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:04.280 saying it's toxic? Just so we have like a real 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:09.880 conversation about whatever you think it is. Did you hear 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:15.520 the lyrics song? I don't know if cheating is a 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:18.440 toxic relationship, like that's what I'm saying. I don't think. 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:22.600 I think cheating is pretty much nothing to do with toxic. 0:09:22.720 --> 0:09:26.439 That's like past toxic. I mean, that's not even toxic, 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:29.559 Like your relationship is. You're not in a committed relationship 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:36.320 if somebody's cheating on you, So what's really disrespect? Cheating 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:40.120 is not disrespect, that's past disrespect, you know, I mean 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:45.520 that's toxic. Yeah, that's that's not even I don't I don't. 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:48.280 I would like to believe cheating is not toxic. Like 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:54.040 that's that's over. I mean, you you if somebody fucking 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:58.920 somebody else, right, y'all pretty much got a real problem, 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:01.240 that ain't y'all don't even have a relationship because at 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:05.479 that at that point, you have violated the mutual agreement 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:12.240 of exclusivetivity the relationship. I understand now if we're saying toxic, 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:17.320 we're talking about things that can pollute the relationship. Is 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:21.680 a violation your relationship is pretty much if the thought 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:25.559 was you're in a monogamous relationship, you're pat like cheating yourself, 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:30.080 you fuck that up, right, So I'm saying what is toxic? Right? 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:34.000 And no, I'm just saying we like what's toxic? And 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:40.720 like what's disrespectful? Like you know, verbal abuse, calling each 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.679 other out each other names, calling calling the female a 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:47.320 bit you know, even calling the man a nigga. And 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:49.480 and this is daily just talking to each other like that. 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:56.040 I think that's a toxic environmental being so um verbal, 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.800 I mean it's basically toxic to me, is like, yeah, 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:02.280 I'm not having any type of respect for each other. 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.440 Like what if you grew up in situations right where 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:10.080 that's just how you talk, Like, right, we all know somebody. 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:12.720 We are from the environments where we know women who 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:14.800 call each other bitches and that's how they talk to 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:17.120 each other. I talk like that. I'll come from the 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:20.280 environment like I'm from l A. I'll come from that 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:22.520 that what you wanna call it ghetto? I don't want 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:27.319 to really say ghetto environments. Would you be offended if 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:31.000 your dude called you his bitch, Like right now, he's 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:33.280 not talking to you, right, but he talking to his 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:35.080 boys and be like, hey, that's your bitch. Like, yeah, 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:39.920 that's my bitch. And they don't be speaking on my bitch. No, 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:47.680 I don't get offended for that. That's all because I'm 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:53.320 like about no sentlers, no sinners. If he calls you, 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:55.120 if he walks up to you and be like, look, bitch, 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:58.480 that's different. That's different. That's different. And I don't know 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:01.880 why it's like that, but it's just like culturally, we 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:06.520 grow up in space to where you know where certain 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:11.080 terms can be endeared me terms like nigga and we talked, 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.199 that can be a term of endearment. You could feel 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:16.920 the most love when somebody be like, oh that's my nigga. 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:20.240 That's like the most love you could get in our coaching, right, 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.360 I can get it. But I prefer my man not 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:27.439 to do that, Like I prefer him not to do that, 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.320 even though he don't mean it by any disrespect, like 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.320 it like this my brighter die. That's my partner, like, 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:36.520 that's my bitch, but I prefer for my men not 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.320 to So let me ask you a question. Let's say 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:43.520 if y'all together somewhere right to you and cousins somewhere, 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:49.080 and some dudes start talking to you crazy, he like 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:51.640 getting that you foul over something like yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:54.439 some some some something like he's talking crazy, and your 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:55.960 nigga step up, like hold up, why so are you 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:58.880 talking to my bit my nigga? Are you upset that 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:00.839 he stood up for you later on what you talked 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:03.000 to him? Like yo, bro, Like yeah, I know you 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.200 were standing enough for me, but you referenced me in 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:08.920 that negative manner like where does it? Where will you be? Like, 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:11.600 I'm okay with that. I wouldn't say anything at the moment, 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:15.880 but I would be like baby um at home later 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:22.120 in the car of babe dang thank you, but damn yeah, 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:25.920 I probably would. But it's a certain okay. That all 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:30.040 depends on what type of due you have exactly that, 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:35.440 And I don't think you cannot change a dude talks 0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:38.200 with his homeboys. Now, if you got like one of 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:42.480 those little white collared dudes, you know, I don't know 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:44.840 I don't even gonna SAYBOT be different or something. But 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:48.120 when you got one of the I feel like, dude, 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.120 that's that's that's how they talk. But I feel like 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:54.640 anyone that is with me the way I represent who 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.679 I am, wouldn't even say that. They would know they 0:13:57.760 --> 0:13:59.920 just wouldn't get a guy that talks like that basically 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:02.640 because that's what you're gonna have to do because that's 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:04.439 how they talk. I wouldn't say I wouldn't get a 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.199 guy like that because I'm more open now with experience, 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:09.959 So um, I wouldn't say I wouldn't get with someone 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:14.280 like that, but um, a simple conversation. But I feel 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:18.360 like just how I would represent myself, then he probably 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:21.120 wouldn't even feel like he would even have that slip 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:26.480 his lips. Okay, So back to this dancing thing. So 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:29.840 that's toxic because of you felt it was disrespectful, like 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:33.360 you here and it's girls dancing on you. I felt 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.120 like it was toxic because it's like, you already know 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:39.520 what we've been through, you are know what we're going through, 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:43.160 and you invite me out somewhere and you want me 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.360 to see this, and you know that he didn't want 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:48.080 you to see, I don't know what he wanted. I 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:52.000 don't know what. I don't know, but he invited me, 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:55.960 and you knew I was coming to himself. Like you 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:59.760 know what, like these girls are just dancing on me 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:03.240 the man, right, and girls are dancing on me at 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:09.120 the club. Yeah, I'm just asking, right, because I don't 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.520 I'm thinking about it, right, How would I feel if 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:16.040 some girls dancing on me? Or if Brandy was dancing 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:19.280 on something, girl on something? Dude? Right, I'm thinking about it, right? 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:23.320 Could I be upset? Sure? What I feel is disrespectful? 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:29.280 Maybe my feelings would feel that way. But then am 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:32.720 I act? Like when people are at the club dancing, right? 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.040 And I know how people dance. You're in an environment, 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.600 so it's not surprised, right. I don't think that the 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:42.040 dancing was more of toxic. I think the reaction of 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.720 what we did and what we were doing was toxic. 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:50.040 When were fighting, we was actually fist fighting in the club. 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:53.960 He pulled my pony's hil That's why security. How did 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.400 that even start? Though? Like, how did you get we 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:58.560 got that far? Because we were just going at it going, 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:00.800 I mean, so the girls dancing on him, he got 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:02.720 all he got some girls around him, and I went 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:09.520 over and I pushed everybody, why because that's just me. 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:14.200 That was me back then, Like back then, that was me. Y' 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:20.600 don't do that now. I don't know, not if I'm there, No, 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:25.480 I don't know. I just pushed everybody, like what are 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.720 y'all doing? Like, what's what's up? What's going on? Okay, 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:30.080 let's say it's today right now that you don't have 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:33.920 the history of whatever, because was doing right? You just 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.960 you got a new guy, right, and y'all cool? And 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.160 he at the club and the girl backing it up 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:42.800 on him, you know, juvenile back that ass up. Come on, 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:46.160 and she working with some mash yeah cash, yeah, making 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:49.880 Nia spin his last year. She backing it up on him, right, 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:52.800 he dancing with her, They just partying. I probably wouldn't 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.480 react as bad as I did with would you say 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:58.480 something to him about it? Probably after what would that 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:03.680 conversation sound like? You just be jealous? Jealous, be just jealous, 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:05.960 like what are you doing? Like why would you that 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:09.360 warm here? But it wouldn't be the way that not happened. 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:15.480 That was something toxic one oh one type of ship relationship. Yeah, 0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:18.280 the whole relationship was just done. It was being done, 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:20.320 and we were just still holding on to each other. 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:23.320 It's also different, if you know, you can look at 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:25.639 it different. If the man is just over there and 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:28.479 minding his business and a woman come up, that's different, 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.159 you know, and just started dancing on him. So what 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:34.240 if he go ask a woman to dance? She might 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:36.760 be thick, But why would you do that when I'm here? 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:40.040 Because they're at a club. So at the point of 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.720 going to a club is to dance with people? Is 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.240 this because is this about when I'm like not there, 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:49.639 whether you're there or not. Just listen, I get the 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:52.639 traditional ways that we think. Now I'm just thinking past 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:57.000 those traditional kind of silly ways right where because we 0:17:57.040 --> 0:17:59.040 want to go to the club and take our significant 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:00.840 other to the club and think everybody's supposed to be 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:02.760 all lies on you. That's just dumb. How the fun 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:04.760 would you go somewhere with all these bitches and I'm 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:07.480 just looking at you. That's just crazy. That don't even 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:09.520 make sense. That's just a bad idea from the start. 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:12.639 So yeah, because so this is right right now today, 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:14.439 you know, we still have to talk because obviously I 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:16.720 have a child with him. He's like I would never 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:18.720 take any woman i'm with to the club every again 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:21.600 in life. That's always because the horrible idea. Though I 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:24.760 don't know why clubs are for single people, the worst 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:27.679 type of human beings try to bring their relationship to 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:31.679 the club. That's ship dumbboys and dude, I'm like, man, 0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:36.639 that's the dumbest that's that's that's single life. Clubs are 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:38.320 for single That's like, you bring your old lady to 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:43.399 the strip club. She's killing the dream You're like, a 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.880 strip club is about selling the dream of you sleeping 0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:51.879 with some woman that is super exotic about you. You know, 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:54.440 you're dreaming of sleeping with this woman is super exotic 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:57.320 and she wants you and you feeling a little bit better. Right, 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.360 It's all fantasy. Right, So if you and your old 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:02.800 lady you already sucking the family stiff right when you 0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:09.080 step up in this smither You're right. So what I'm 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:15.240 saying is right. What I'm saying is, once we unplugged 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:17.679 from all of the bullshit, what are we really saying 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:22.879 is toxic? Like, what's really disrespectful? Okay, disrespectful is some 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:26.399 girl like you and want to give you her number, right, Okay, 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:30.000 I can that that makes sense, right, Okay, you take 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:33.359 her number. That's disrespectful. Yeah, that's disrespect But I feel 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:37.359 like toxic is the way you react to certain things, 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:41.320 like how you react to it, like all the cusin, fighting, 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:44.520 holland screaming, calling people off their names. When you got 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:47.080 to get to that point in your relationship, I believe 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:50.679 your relationship is toxic. Like, shoot, am I allowed to 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:54.359 say blue face? Okay, blue face and her and that. 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:56.439 I can't think of a girl named rock or something 0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:59.560 that that's toxic. One oh two one one one o 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:03.080 three the four. So that's toxic, y'all? Fighting in public? 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.760 You're pulling out her hair, she got a ball spot 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:10.560 in the bag, she knows that you sleep with your 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:15.120 baby mama. Still that's toxic to me. That's beyond crazy. 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:17.440 That don't even make sense. So you do you think 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:21.600 your relationship is healthy when you're doing all that in public? 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:27.400 I don't care if it's a pelic at home abuse, abuses, 0:20:27.520 --> 0:20:32.240 toxic national chains off each other neck, that's I think 0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:40.400 that situation. Blue facing, what's that the way they act? 0:20:41.200 --> 0:20:43.280 I mean, I think it's a marketing to it, for sure. 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:47.199 But I also think they'd be drunk. I think the 0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:51.480 problem is right, right, so we use these times right 0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:54.280 toxic right. Toxic is a real word that is not 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:56.600 much to do with human beings, but we've implemented it 0:20:56.640 --> 0:20:59.160 into our world. But most of the time we act 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.760 that way when we poisoned, right, And I think they're 0:21:01.760 --> 0:21:06.639 both poison I think something outside of just the trauma, right, 0:21:06.640 --> 0:21:09.600 because there's the trauma that's that's that kind of poison, right. 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:11.960 But then there's also most of all our problems and 0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:16.199 relationships come from drinking. Yeah, because we all be faded. 0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:21.760 We start making different decisions when you're drinking, right, Yeah, 0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:24.879 I mean you drinking and then also a person that 0:21:25.000 --> 0:21:29.720 just have I believe it can also happen without alcohol. 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:32.160 You know, I used to be in a toxic relationship 0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:35.600 because this individual was toxic. They grew up in a 0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:37.879 toxicon when they were a child and they had to 0:21:38.280 --> 0:21:40.320 you know, they've seen their mother get beat on by 0:21:40.359 --> 0:21:43.639 their stepdad. So as he became a man or whatever 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:46.479 you want to call him, um, he had the choice 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:48.639 of I'm not gonna do women like this, or I 0:21:48.640 --> 0:21:50.960 am gonna do women like this. I'm gonna be at 0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:53.959 the difference, And you don't have to be an alcoholic 0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:56.040 because that's what you grew up in, so sometimes you 0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:59.600 still toxic. There's ever a reason why a man should 0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:01.800 hit a one me, Like, do you think you say 0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:05.080 something that should probably get you slapped across your face? 0:22:05.280 --> 0:22:08.320 I don't believe. And nobody putting their hands on nobody, 0:22:08.640 --> 0:22:11.440 no one either, I think the party. Who are you 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:13.880 to feel that it's okay to put your hands on me? 0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:16.359 So I don't need to put my hands on you, 0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:17.919 and you don't need to put your hands on me. 0:22:18.200 --> 0:22:21.600 You don't think verbal abuse or like you disrespecting or 0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:23.920 insulting somebody with what comes out of your mouth. Can 0:22:24.480 --> 0:22:27.320 let's say like, because I've always had a problem with this, Right, 0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:31.760 is the fact that witty people right, the fact that 0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:35.800 witty need more, the fact that witty people use their 0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:39.639 mental weapon, right, their brain to insult and made people 0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:43.760 feel lower, and they do it on purpose, right, And 0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:46.280 then they use their brain on purpose and then think 0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:48.719 somebody that's not as witty should have to take it 0:22:48.760 --> 0:22:52.520 because you have this is your skill set, your flex 0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:59.080 Is you insulting or bullying somebody mentally, right versus somebody 0:22:59.119 --> 0:23:02.440 physically fucking you up because they can't match your wittiness. 0:23:02.840 --> 0:23:05.560 And that's why I don't think there's ever a reason 0:23:05.560 --> 0:23:09.280 why I say people shouldn't hit people. I won't. Did 0:23:09.280 --> 0:23:12.280 you sound like you disagree with that? Listen? I will 0:23:12.680 --> 0:23:16.840 punch a bit lights out. Damn Yeah, I'm not above anything. 0:23:17.720 --> 0:23:20.480 I'm not. I'm just saying I've never never happened to me, 0:23:20.480 --> 0:23:25.720 but I'm sure I will, and there's will be reas that. 0:23:27.160 --> 0:23:30.600 What if she took off on me? A lot of 0:23:30.600 --> 0:23:35.919 people have a lot of people have been involding that. 0:23:36.240 --> 0:23:38.480 My mom, prime example. I grew up in a house 0:23:38.520 --> 0:23:40.720 where my mom had real hands. I watched her beat 0:23:40.800 --> 0:23:45.359