1 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:25,040 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello, everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. So 6 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: great to have you here. It's so great to have 7 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: you back for another episode of the show. I'm so 8 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: excited about what we're talking about today, and I think 9 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: we're talking about something that is so relevant to our twenties. 10 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,640 Speaker 1: I'm surprised I haven't done it sooner. And that is 11 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: whether the idea of the dream job is real or 12 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: whether it's outdated, and kind of going into some of 13 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: that psychology behind things like career anxiety and the cultural 14 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: pressure to make our professional decisions so early on in 15 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:07,479 Speaker 1: our lives while we feel stuck and all that comes 16 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,400 Speaker 1: with trying to figure out exactly what we want to 17 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:16,160 Speaker 1: do with our lives. I think a huge component of 18 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,039 Speaker 1: our twenties is this task that we're given to figure 19 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: out what we want to do with our lives. It's 20 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 1: a fairly common question, right that's lobbied at us from 21 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: a fairly young age, not just our twenties, from relatives, teachers, 22 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: and job interviews almost every direction. And that's that question 23 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 1: of what do you want to do? What is your 24 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: dream job? It's a fairly large and terrifying question, and 25 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,759 Speaker 1: in many ways, I think it can leave us feeling 26 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: fairly stuck for a number of reasons. You know, the 27 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: world is so large, there are so many opportunities and possibilities, 28 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: but there are also so many barriers and limitations, so 29 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: many factors that are going to contribute to what career 30 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: we want to have and also what is available to us. 31 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: And sometimes I think we get to our dream position 32 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: and we realize that it is not all that we want, 33 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: or that since setting that goal, our desires have changed. 34 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 1: So what I want to discuss today is whether the 35 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: dream job, our dream job really exists, whether there is 36 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: only one dream job, and just dissect some of that 37 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,119 Speaker 1: pressure we often face to have it figured out so 38 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: early on in our lives. If you have been feeling 39 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: perhaps a lot of anxiety around choosing your career pathway 40 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: or your degree, or trying to figure out what is 41 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: actually going to make you happy career wise, I promise 42 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: that you're not alone. I've definitely felt this way, even 43 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: recently in my current job and asking myself those questions 44 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,959 Speaker 1: of is this really what I want? Does this make 45 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: me happy? And simultaneous to that, I've been having this 46 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: discussion quite a lot with my friends the past few 47 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: months about their perspectives and their struggles as fellow twenty 48 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: something people, And throughout all of that noise and those conversations, 49 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: I couldn't help but think there has to be some research, 50 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: some psychological explanation behind this concept, and there definitely was. 51 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 1: So perhaps you're listening to this with a fairly clear 52 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: idea of what you want to do, a fairly mapped 53 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,679 Speaker 1: out path to your destination. I think jobs like being 54 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: a surgeon or a lawyer, they're fairly traditional career pathways, 55 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: and they have clear entry points, clear degree and experience requirements, 56 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: and they might take some time. But the idea is 57 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: that if you do everything right, if you follow the 58 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: correct path, you know, in five years time you'll be 59 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: where you want to be. And that sounds straightforward, right, 60 00:03:56,400 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: But so often we're forced to decide fairly young, even 61 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: at the beginning of high school, what we want to 62 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: do when we're you know, sixteen, seventeen eighteen years old. 63 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: And those dreams that we set for ourselves, then they are, 64 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: they're going to change. And what happens when you arrive 65 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: at that destination or you atrieve that dream job and 66 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: you find it really unfulfilling, that's a massive dilemma. And 67 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 1: my friend Aaron, a good friend of the show, she 68 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: also said something to me the other day that was 69 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 1: actually really enlightening and kind of struck me as really poignant. 70 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: And that's what if you just don't even have a 71 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:39,360 Speaker 1: dream job, what if you can't imagine your ideal career 72 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: or that just doesn't appeal to you. You know, a 73 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: job is just something that you have to pay your 74 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: bills and allow you to live out your passions elsewhere 75 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: away from the workplace. Like why is that not an 76 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: acceptable answer to that question of what do you want 77 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 1: to do? I think it should be fine to say, 78 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: you know, well, my career and my professional life it 79 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: isn't actually the enter of my universe. A job. It's 80 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: just a job to me. It doesn't need to mean 81 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,799 Speaker 1: more than that. And there's so much just to discuss 82 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: around this concept of the dream job, and as will 83 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 1: uncover a lot more research and literature than I thought, 84 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: because regardless of whether you have a dream job, whether 85 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: you know what you want to do with your life 86 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: or not, the truth is that work and our careers 87 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,480 Speaker 1: are a fundamental part of our lives, not just our twenties. 88 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: How we make money, it's going to consume more hours 89 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 1: of our lives than any other activity besides, you know, 90 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: maybe sleeping. So understanding the dynamic around the decisions we 91 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 1: make when it comes to our careers is super important. 92 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: There's so much to cover. I know I say that 93 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: every time, but there is so much fascinating research and 94 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:55,599 Speaker 1: psychology around this topic. There's literally an entire field of 95 00:05:55,640 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: psychology called organizational psychology that is dedicated to our relationship 96 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:06,679 Speaker 1: with work and our jobs. So buckle in because today 97 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: we're going to break down the psychology of the dream job. 98 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: Is it fact, is it fiction? All of those good 99 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:24,160 Speaker 1: things I think to begin, we all have some concept 100 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: or idea of what I mean when I talk about 101 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: the dream job and all the fantasy and the dreams 102 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: and the hopes that we attached to it. When we 103 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: think about the dream job, we think about the thing 104 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: that we feel we were perhaps born to do, the 105 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 1: thing that lights our soul, the job we think will 106 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: complete us and in some ways make us really really happy. 107 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: And there is no denying that there are some people 108 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: who have their dream job, who have discovered their dream job, 109 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: maybe they have stumbled upon it, you know, the thing 110 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: that they feel they on this planet to do and 111 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: they can't imagine doing anything else. I also think, you know, 112 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: there are people in the broader pop culture sphere who 113 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: we can't imagine doing anything else, you know, like Taylor 114 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 1: Swift or Oprah, Like can you imagine them being a 115 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: barista or a gardener. No, There's just some people, I 116 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: think who have a calling and they're able to follow 117 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: it through. But I'm sure even these people at time 118 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: have doubts. But if that is you, and you've had 119 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: the system and you have achieved your dream job, I 120 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: think that's incredible and I'm so proud of you, and 121 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: I'm sure you're doing amazing. But you're definitely one of 122 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: the lucky ones. And maybe you were someone who always 123 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: thought they had a clear idea and you always knew 124 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: what your dream job was, and now you're listening to 125 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: this podcast because you realize that maybe you're a mistaken. 126 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 1: It's not as easy as that, and you're feeling a 127 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: little bit stuck. One question I had when I was 128 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: thinking about this concept and writing this episode is where 129 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,239 Speaker 1: I did this idea even come from? Like, this idea 130 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: of a dream job seems so bizarre, and I had 131 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: a few ideas and did some further digging just to 132 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: kind of understand where this idea came from. And it 133 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: was pretty hard to find the etymology of the term. 134 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: But it appears that it became popular in the twentieth century, 135 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: especially as education levels begin to rise and incomes expanded. 136 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: People were no longer resigned to work the jobs that 137 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: their fathers and their mothers had worked. And after World 138 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: War Two, I think many Western countries saw what was 139 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: a massive rise in wealth and with that an opportunity 140 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: to be able to pick a job that you enjoyed 141 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 1: rather than one that you just prevented you from starving, 142 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: and the idea of the dream job was born. That belief, 143 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: I think has slowly expanded and the idea has become 144 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 1: a lot more common, especially as we've seen you entirely 145 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: new industries emerge in recent decade with the invention of 146 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:05,680 Speaker 1: the Internet and the expansions in technology basically, there was 147 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 1: a shift from work being a chore a necessity, to 148 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:17,320 Speaker 1: something that we can hopefully enjoy and strive towards. I 149 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: think we all know the term exists, and maybe for 150 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: you it means nothing. You're not someone who dreams of labor, 151 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: as they say, But undoubtedly from many of us there 152 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 1: is still a lingering feeling or a need to absolutely 153 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: adore what we do to be happy. So where exactly 154 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: does that pressure come from? Where does the pressure to 155 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 1: discover our dream job come from? I think personally it 156 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: starts really really young. Think back to when we were children. 157 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:55,080 Speaker 1: Already we did have some concept that what we would 158 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:59,160 Speaker 1: eventually do for a living was something to fantasize about 159 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: and create goals towards. We dreamed of being ballerinas, or doctors, 160 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: or teachers, marine biologists, fashion designers, you name it. Even 161 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 1: at such a young age, we were already conditioned from 162 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: modeling our parents behavior and the people around us, to 163 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: see work, to see our jobs as something that was hierarchical. 164 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: Whereby there were some jobs that were filled with joy 165 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,439 Speaker 1: and passion and which will make us happy, and there 166 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: were other jobs that just needed to be done. And 167 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: we may have even seen our parents, you know, incredibly 168 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 1: dissatisfied with work, and those early childhood experiences, the experiences 169 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: of our parents, they leave an impression on us, and 170 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: it kind of determines where we see ourselves in a 171 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: future in the future, and it kind of leaves its 172 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 1: impression of you know, I never want to be like that. 173 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: I never want to work a job that I hate. 174 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 1: You know, I feel like a lot more children probably 175 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: want to be an author or the prime minister than 176 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 1: a debt collector, even though I think all jobs have 177 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: an important place in society. And part of that is 178 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: because there are jobs that are idealized and made to 179 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: seem amazing and made to seem like a dream, and 180 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 1: others that don't really get a mention. They're just not 181 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 1: glamorous or they're not visible. And so from that early age, 182 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: we're indoctrinated with this idea of a dream job. And 183 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,839 Speaker 1: there's other ways that this concept comes up and leaves 184 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: an impression on us, unconsciously or implicitly. There's a quote 185 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 1: that I'm sure we've all heard in some form that 186 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 1: if you love what you do, you'll never work a 187 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: day in your life, and we see similar messages in 188 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: so many areas of our lives, and it might seem 189 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,959 Speaker 1: innocent enough, and in some ways it definitely makes sense, right, 190 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 1: like when we love our work, when we enjoy doing it, 191 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 1: we will to do it the same way we want 192 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 1: to do a hobby or anything else that we love 193 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 1: and enjoy. But I think there's something more insidious about 194 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: this idea that can create a lot of doubt and 195 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 1: pressure on those of us who don't have it figured 196 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 1: out yet, which I think is probably well, you know, 197 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: the majority of the people who are listening and do 198 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: what you love is such privileged advice, right, and it 199 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: really ignores the fact that most of the world's population, 200 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,080 Speaker 1: most of the people walking up and down the street, 201 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,680 Speaker 1: they don't really have the luxury of choosing to do 202 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: something they really love. You know. A job is the 203 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,679 Speaker 1: way that they receive financial support, it's the way that 204 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: they eat and they house themselves, and it's not necessarily 205 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: for emotional fulfillment. I think also it can be kind 206 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 1: of awful and it can create a lot of shame 207 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 1: when you don't love your career and when people are 208 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 1: telling you that you should, because it promotes this idea 209 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: once again from an early age, that what matters most 210 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 1: in your life is what you do professionally, that our 211 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: jobs they are the center of our lives, our primary 212 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,079 Speaker 1: source of happiness. And if we don't enjoy what we do, 213 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: if we don't have a clue about what we want 214 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: to do, you know, we're not going to be happy. 215 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,839 Speaker 1: And you know, there's sometimes there's things that we love 216 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,480 Speaker 1: doing and we just can't make a living. You know, 217 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,960 Speaker 1: work can just be work, and you're allowed to be 218 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: satisfied with that. And when we're continually hearing that message, 219 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,439 Speaker 1: particularly if you are working a job that you don't 220 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 1: like or you realize that your dream job is just 221 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 1: kind of hyped up, the panic, that career anxiety that 222 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 1: we talk about quite frequently, that's when it starts to emerge. 223 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: In addition, and on top of that messaging like that 224 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: quote that I mentioned, we're also getting a lot of 225 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 1: these expectations from our families and our teachers, and our 226 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 1: friends and the media that we need to know what 227 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 1: we want to do, we need to have a dream 228 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: job in mind. And a lot of that pressure has 229 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: been passed down from generation to generation as our careers 230 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: have become much larger and a greater contribution to our identity. 231 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 1: You know, we spend more time in the workplace, we 232 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: retire later. We're seeing inflation rise to the extent that 233 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 1: we do have to work longer hours and for more years. 234 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 1: And you know, we're in a recession right now. The 235 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 1: cost of living is so high and we need a 236 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 1: way to afford to live and to pay our bills. 237 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: And being told that there's a way to work and 238 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 1: still enjoy life through this myth of the dream job 239 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: is a pretty excellent way to distract us from the 240 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: cognitive dissonance associated with maybe that deeper acknowledgement that work 241 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: doesn't really have to be the center of our days 242 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: and of our lives, and that it's kind of unnatural. 243 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 1: We probably want to be doing other things rather than 244 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: being cooped up in an office. And like I said before, 245 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,080 Speaker 1: most of us will end up working eight or more 246 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: hours a day most of our working and adult lives. 247 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 1: So it does make sense that if we're told that 248 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: we can enjoy what we do, and even bigger than that, 249 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: that our careers determined so much of our identity, it's 250 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 1: going to make us feel better about how much time 251 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: we're devoting to these tasks and That's another point. Our 252 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 1: career is a huge determine of our identity, so we 253 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,200 Speaker 1: want to choose the right one. Right. Think about the 254 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 1: most recent time you met someone new. Maybe it was 255 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 1: a party or through a mutual friend, or you matched 256 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: on a dating app. I promised you. One of the 257 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: first questions I'm sure they asked is what do you 258 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 1: do for a living or where do you work. It's 259 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 1: so common and it indicates how much our identity and 260 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: people's perception of us is determined by what we do 261 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 1: for a living. You know, I was asked this question 262 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 1: and a party the other day, and it was so exhausting. 263 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: There are so many new people there. By the end 264 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: of the night, I honestly just started making stuff up. 265 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,880 Speaker 1: I was so frustrated. I was like, I think I 266 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: told someone I was a reptile vet. I don't even 267 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 1: know if that's a job. And you know, another person 268 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 1: that I was an electrician. Almost as like a social 269 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,840 Speaker 1: experiment to see their reaction and how they change their 270 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,760 Speaker 1: perception of me, because we might try and deny it, 271 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: but our jobs, our careers are a pretty major pillar 272 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 1: of our identity, particularly the outward appearance of our identity 273 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 1: as you know prominent. I think, as you know, our 274 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 1: friends and our families, our likes, our dislikes, our appearance, 275 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: our personality, and this is only exacerbated when we begin 276 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 1: to link our self esteem to our work performance or 277 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 1: to our job selection. There's been some really interesting studies 278 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 1: on the outcome of this interlinkage between our professional lives 279 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: and our identities, and a longitude or study in the US. 280 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: It's actually still ongoing. It's still being conducted, but so 281 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: far they've shown some preliminary insights that the work we 282 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,400 Speaker 1: do does shape our personality and the things like our 283 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: sense of control over our environment, our confidence, how proactive 284 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: we are, and our work also has an important economic 285 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,880 Speaker 1: and social implications, such that the outcomes of our work 286 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:24,919 Speaker 1: performance actually have consequences for our sense of security and 287 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,360 Speaker 1: our livelihood. So research has found that when we are 288 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:32,880 Speaker 1: happy at work, when we are feeling fulfilled, this can 289 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 1: actually lead us to feel more secure and then more extroverted. 290 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 1: Whereas when we feel that we are underperforming or are 291 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 1: unsatisfied or unfulfilled, we experience more neuroticism, more anxiety, and 292 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 1: even depression. And with all of that in mind, I 293 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: want to stress you know enjoying what you do does 294 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: come with lots of benefits. Like I just said, you know, personality, identity, 295 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 1: self esteem, it's linked to we do in our professional lives. 296 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,399 Speaker 1: It's linked to our careers. And I don't think that 297 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,199 Speaker 1: that debate you know that you shouldn't be allowed to 298 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 1: enjoy your career is what I'm talking about. I think 299 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: more than that, it's that you can be satisfied without 300 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 1: knowing what you want to do. And even if you 301 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: haven't discovered your dream job, or maybe you don't think 302 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 1: that you have won, it doesn't mean that you're not 303 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,879 Speaker 1: going to be happy. It doesn't mean that you're not 304 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 1: going to be confident, and it doesn't mean that you 305 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,880 Speaker 1: need to have a dream job. So what I want 306 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,159 Speaker 1: to talk about next is the alternatives to the dream 307 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: job philosophy and how we can almost resenter our relationship 308 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 1: towards figuring it out. How we can resenter our relationship 309 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 1: towards work without putting that undue pressure in ourselves and 310 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:53,719 Speaker 1: falling into that dangerous cycle of feeling really guilty and 311 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,920 Speaker 1: really shameful and feeling anxious about what we want to do. 312 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: Our next partner has a product I use literally every day. 313 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: I started taking ag one because I've been on a 314 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 1: bit of a health journey. 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All you have to 331 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: do is visit Athletic Greens dot com slash Gemma again, 332 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,920 Speaker 1: that's Athletic Greens dot com slash Gemma to take ownership 333 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 1: over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. 334 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,360 Speaker 1: Like I said, there's no denying that enjoying your job 335 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: is important. You know. Statistics do show that people who 336 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 1: are more engaged in the work they enjoy, they're happier. 337 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: They are happier. But it doesn't mean that there's only 338 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 1: one job that's going to make you happy, and then 339 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 1: if you're not doing that, you're destined for misery. And 340 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:50,159 Speaker 1: this cognitive scientist from the University of Bristol, he wrote 341 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: a really fascinating article on this, and I really wanted 342 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 1: to share it because what he concluded is that loving 343 00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:01,200 Speaker 1: what you do doesn't actually lead to greater happiness, despite 344 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 1: the temptation to equate happiness with being successful at work 345 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 1: or loving what you do. Often there is this pattern 346 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,159 Speaker 1: where you start working harder and harder, to the point 347 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 1: where all of the sudden you feel guilty if you're 348 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 1: not working. And the moment that happens, your work life 349 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: balance and your family obligations and your hobbies and your 350 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 1: life beyond your career it begins to suffer. Sometimes you 351 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,400 Speaker 1: arrive at what you think is your dream destination, your 352 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 1: dream job, and you realize that it's not at all 353 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:36,240 Speaker 1: what you expected. And not only that that you know 354 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,320 Speaker 1: there are sometimes factors that make it really unenjoyable or 355 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: really unpleasant. You know, the long hours, the rewards are lower, 356 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 1: it's more physically demanding than you thought it would be. 357 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,520 Speaker 1: And I think in that moment, whether or not that 358 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 1: position is your dream job, it's not going to matter 359 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,840 Speaker 1: if you're unhappy, and you should feel confident enough to 360 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: be able to change, and you should feel supported enough 361 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 1: to be able to choose something different. It's not always 362 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: about the specific job you're working. It's about things like 363 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: the environment in which you're performing that role. It's about 364 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,360 Speaker 1: the people that you're associated with. You know, there are 365 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 1: times that I was happier working as a barista or 366 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 1: as a waiter than I am in my professional job, 367 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: even though one of those from society's perspective, comes with 368 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 1: more prestige, because it's not always about your job title. 369 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:26,479 Speaker 1: It's about the environment in which it's being performed. And 370 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: I do firmly believe that there's not one perfect job 371 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: or career out there for all of us, and not 372 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: only that, there's not one job that's going to suit 373 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 1: our lives. I think humans are incredibly malleable. They're adaptable, 374 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,159 Speaker 1: They're flexible creatures with a lot of facets and a 375 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 1: lot of strengths. And many of our strengths and qualities 376 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,160 Speaker 1: are going to change over time, and many of our 377 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 1: desires for what we want from our lives are going 378 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,679 Speaker 1: to change over time as well. And I read the 379 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:01,879 Speaker 1: statistic that the average person born in this century is 380 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,479 Speaker 1: going to have three to four career changes in their lives. 381 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 1: That's us, that's this generation. You know. I've already had 382 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: two career changes, and probably like you, I'm only in 383 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 1: my first decade of adulthood. And the dream job that 384 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,399 Speaker 1: I thought I wanted and my final destination at the time, 385 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 1: it certainly was not my dream job. And I'm doing 386 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 1: something entirely different now. And one thing I realized when 387 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 1: I was thinking about my own journey is that there 388 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 1: isn't one thing that was going to make me happy, 389 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,399 Speaker 1: not one job, not one career. Those jobs made me 390 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 1: happy for a time, but there are other things out 391 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 1: there that I don't even know about yet that are 392 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:44,159 Speaker 1: probably going to fulfill me even more. Think about it 393 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,120 Speaker 1: this way, we don't just have one hobby that makes 394 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,640 Speaker 1: us happy. We don't just decide, you know, I love 395 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,119 Speaker 1: painting and that's all I'm going to do because it 396 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 1: makes me happy and I'm good at it. We don't 397 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,880 Speaker 1: just have one friend that we like being around, or 398 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 1: one amazing skill, or one favorite food or one favorite place. 399 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 1: There are many things that make us fulfilled and happy. 400 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,760 Speaker 1: And the same goes for the line of work we choose. 401 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 1: So I'm hoping that if you feel stuck, that makes 402 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,880 Speaker 1: you feel better that whatever you're doing right now, whatever 403 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,159 Speaker 1: you think you want to do right now, there are 404 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,919 Speaker 1: things that you haven't even discovered yet which could feel 405 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:26,440 Speaker 1: an even deeper in even deeper need or desire within you. 406 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,880 Speaker 1: And so I wanted to kind of talk about and 407 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 1: talk to the people who might be experiencing that right 408 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: now and some of the tips for overcoming the anxiety 409 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 1: about finding the right career path for you or the 410 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,479 Speaker 1: right job. Like I said, there is an entire field 411 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: of psychology dedicated to this and dedicated to this idea 412 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,360 Speaker 1: of our professional lives, and there's so much literature on 413 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 1: how we can find jobs we find fulfilling and we 414 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,880 Speaker 1: can create meaning even than those that we never dreamed 415 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 1: of Firstly, instead of trying to imagine a specific career 416 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 1: you think you'd be good at or that would make 417 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,879 Speaker 1: you happy, take a more holistic perspective. I want you 418 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,439 Speaker 1: to ask yourself, you know, the following questions. What do 419 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 1: you love doing, what is your greatest personal strength? What 420 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 1: is an activity you could spend hours on. What is 421 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,719 Speaker 1: a subject at school that you never really had to 422 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: work that hard at but you still did really well. 423 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:33,120 Speaker 1: What are some of your non negotiables for your personal life? 424 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 1: And what kind of life do you want to have 425 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 1: beyond work. I think this reveals a lot more than 426 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 1: simply choosing your job at a certain age and deciding 427 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,920 Speaker 1: that that's the one. That's what I've decided to do. 428 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: Let me use an example here. You know, maybe one 429 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,679 Speaker 1: of your greatest strengths is that you really connect with people. 430 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 1: You're really nurturing, and at school you did really well 431 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,360 Speaker 1: in biology and anatomy, but have a desire to balance 432 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,120 Speaker 1: your work life with travel, and maybe you want a family, 433 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,159 Speaker 1: so you want to work part time or take periods 434 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,880 Speaker 1: of time off. If you just took one of those 435 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,679 Speaker 1: elements at face value, you know, people told you that 436 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 1: you were really good at science and you're really studious, 437 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,560 Speaker 1: you might be like, Okay, well then I should be 438 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 1: a doctor and that's going to make me really happy 439 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 1: and fulfilled. But there are other elements of that self 440 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 1: appraisal that we're forgetting, which is the flexibility and the 441 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: connection to people. You know, if you're a surgeon, most 442 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,199 Speaker 1: of the time, your patient's probably going to be an ethicized, 443 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 1: so you're not really going to be able to connect 444 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,159 Speaker 1: with someone who's unconscious. And maybe you would actually be 445 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,440 Speaker 1: happier as a traveling nurse or as a school nurse, 446 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,399 Speaker 1: something that allows you to satisfy the other things that 447 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,879 Speaker 1: are important to you while still leveraging your skills and 448 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,520 Speaker 1: your strengths, and it's probably going to make you a 449 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,679 Speaker 1: lot happier. When we assess the full picture and the 450 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,360 Speaker 1: scope of our life, it may be a better decision 451 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 1: because our expectations are more aligned. I guess what I'm 452 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 1: trying to say is that when we only see ourselves 453 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 1: doing one thing, we limit ourselves. So instead focus on 454 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 1: those fundamentals of why you want to choose a particular 455 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:17,120 Speaker 1: career and give yourself the freedom to see where else 456 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 1: you may fit, what might suit you better, What might 457 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 1: actually make you happier, even if it's not as prestigious, 458 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: even if it's you know, doesn't require as much study. 459 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 1: Instead of finding your career that you love, find something 460 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: that you love. Find something that's going to fulfill you, 461 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:38,160 Speaker 1: regardless of how much you're getting paid, regardless of your 462 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:42,120 Speaker 1: co workers, regardless of where you live. Find something that's 463 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,679 Speaker 1: going to suit your life and your strengths. And I 464 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,159 Speaker 1: think another tip is to allow yourself to be uncomfortable 465 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 1: with uncertainty. Not much in life is certain, but the 466 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: one thing that is is change and inconsistency. It's a 467 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 1: really good reminder, not just when we think about our careers, 468 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,919 Speaker 1: when we think about everything. There are jobs in the 469 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: future that haven't even been created yet, life changing moments 470 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 1: that will completely alter your entire outlook and expectations for 471 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,840 Speaker 1: your life. There will be so many opportunities that you 472 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: cannot imagine and thinking that you need to commit to 473 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 1: one dream job, especially at this stage, especially when we're 474 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,360 Speaker 1: twenty and we're allowed to make mistakes and try things out, 475 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:36,679 Speaker 1: I think it actually restricts those opportunities. Your dreams are 476 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 1: going to change. It's normal to not be the same 477 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 1: person with the same goals as you were when you 478 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,040 Speaker 1: were eighteen, and five years from now you could be 479 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: living a completely different life based on circumstances both within 480 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 1: and beyond your control, and being comfortable with the knowledge 481 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: that things will change and that uncertainty will allow you 482 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 1: to embrace more options and opportunities and maybe end up 483 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 1: at a place that is better for you than if 484 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: you did believe this myth of the dream job and 485 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 1: you did pursue it to the very ends of the earth. 486 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: One final reminder that I know we've already mentioned, but 487 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 1: I really want to finish on this note, is to 488 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: remind you that if you're feeling stuck, if you haven't 489 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 1: figured out your dream job yet, regardless of whether you 490 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 1: think it's real or not, what you choose to do 491 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 1: for a living is not the sole source of your identity. 492 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:34,479 Speaker 1: We get so wrapped up in wanting to appear like 493 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 1: we have it all together and doing something that is 494 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 1: admirable that we forget that life is a lot more 495 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 1: than how we choose to pay our bills. Our jobs 496 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: can just give us the means to an end to 497 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 1: enjoy the other things in life, because our entire lives 498 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,400 Speaker 1: are not our careers, you can build up so many 499 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 1: other components of your life that are going to make 500 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 1: you equally happy. And I think it's a myth that 501 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 1: it is the sole responsibility of our jobs to do 502 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 1: that to make us happy. You know, your life does 503 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 1: and will continue to consist of so many more components 504 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,560 Speaker 1: than just what you choose to do for work. And 505 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 1: I think pursuing a dream job, especially something that's really difficult, 506 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 1: it might bring us satisfaction. But sometimes if we do 507 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,240 Speaker 1: that with too much of a singular, narrow focus, we 508 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 1: end up in a place where we realize that we've 509 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 1: neglected other things. And I think we can be happy 510 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: in any job that we choose as long as it 511 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,440 Speaker 1: allows you to live your life, as long as you're 512 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,560 Speaker 1: focused on the things beyond your career that make you happy, 513 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 1: as long as it pays your bills, you're still going 514 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,360 Speaker 1: to feel satisfied. You're still going to feel fulfilled. And 515 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 1: we should allow ourselves, I think, to kind of relegate 516 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: that idea that there's only one thing that we're born 517 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,200 Speaker 1: to do. To understand that the world is large, The 518 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 1: world is wide, and there are opportunities that we don't 519 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 1: even know about yet that are going to completely change 520 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,240 Speaker 1: the course of your life, the course of history. I 521 00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 1: think that's a lovely message to end on this episode. 522 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 1: Like I said, I cannot believe I didn't do it sooner, 523 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 1: because I get so many emails and messages all the 524 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 1: time of people being like, I really don't know what 525 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 1: I'm doing, I really have no idea, and I'm going 526 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 1: to tell you I don't either. I have no idea. 527 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 1: And there are so many people in their twenties in 528 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,960 Speaker 1: my life who have no idea as well, And that 529 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 1: is totally okay. It's totally okay. Like I said, You're 530 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 1: going to have so many career changes. There's going to 531 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 1: be so many things that happened. You found hobbies, you 532 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: found passions, and nurturing the other things in your life 533 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 1: that aren't just based in work will allow you to 534 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 1: have a healthier relationship to your career and a healthier 535 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: relationship to your professional life. So thank you so much 536 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 1: for listening. I really hope you enjoyed it. I hope 537 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 1: that if you're feeling a bit of career anxiety or 538 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: feeling a bit stuck right now, it made you feel better. 539 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 1: I really hope that that is the case. And if 540 00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 1: you enjoyed this episode, feel free if you feel cool 541 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,320 Speaker 1: to do so, to leave a five star review on 542 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, Spotify wherever you are listening right now, and 543 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,880 Speaker 1: if you want more content like this, follow at that 544 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 1: psychology podcast on Instagram. Every month, I let my listeners 545 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 1: decide what episodes they want to hear. They get a 546 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,280 Speaker 1: decide what comes next, what's on the show, And it's 547 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: also where I announce the guests that are coming on, 548 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:31,280 Speaker 1: people that are coming on, merchandise that it's coming out soon, 549 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,120 Speaker 1: so many different things. So follow me over there if 550 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 1: you want, and I hope you have an amazing day. 551 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,280 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening, thank you for coming on this 552 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,160 Speaker 1: journey with me, and I will see you next week 553 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 1: for another episode.