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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam.

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Speaker 2: This is John, the og story Time podcast host.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 3: a little house.

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Speaker 1: Oh you I rejected. My sister, who's sensitive to.

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Speaker 2: Rejection, really doesn't like it.

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Speaker 1: I mail thirty, am newly engaged. Congrats My fiance female

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Speaker 1: thirty and I have been together for two years and

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Speaker 1: we both feel ready for the next step. We don't

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Speaker 1: want a big wedding. We both come from huge families

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Speaker 1: and we don't want to deal with the costs and

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Speaker 1: the headache of planning a huge event. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from Throwaway am I the a hole one

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Speaker 1: oh one two five two five And if you want

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Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime subpured at. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon,

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Speaker 1: and we're here to give good advice. Goofley. But we

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Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 1: so let us know what you would do in the

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Speaker 1: comment and OPI sas. Our plan is to go to

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Speaker 1: city Hall and sign the required papers. We would invite

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Speaker 1: my parents, my sister, my brother in law, my fia say,

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Speaker 1: his father, sister, brother in law, and brother, as well

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Speaker 1: as two of my friends since they were the ones

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Speaker 1: who set me and my fiance up when we were

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Speaker 1: in the Armed Forces. After city hall, we would all

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Speaker 1: go out for dinner. Sounds pretty cool, pretty chill dash,

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Speaker 1: She like, I got married and then we went out

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Speaker 1: for burgers. We don't want any other wedding stuff or

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Speaker 1: any kind of reception. When my older sister got married

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Speaker 1: three years ago, I ended up being thankful I was

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Speaker 1: stationed in another country and wasn't at home. I was

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Speaker 1: in the Air Force at the time. She had a huge,

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Speaker 1: expensive wedding and then took an expensive trip to the

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Speaker 1: United States for her honeymoon. This is normal in our family,

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Speaker 1: but watching the wedding on a live stream was enough

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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 2: I don't need think we need to go and judge

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Speaker 2: her choiceod like.

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Speaker 1: I didn't hear anything about her being a nightmare to

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Speaker 1: deal with it. She had a big wedding, all chose to.

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Speaker 4: Have a small one.

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Speaker 1: That's fine, everything's fine. Why did you I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't love that, you said, Oh thank god, I

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Speaker 1: missed her wedding. Your sisters, see where that go. I

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Speaker 1: was getting a headache when I was hearing about the

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Speaker 1: planning second hand. But you didn't have to plan it

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Speaker 1: and shut.

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Speaker 2: It off second hand. It wasn't even her complaining.

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Speaker 1: My fiance and I don't want that stress. Okay, that's fine,

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Speaker 1: and you don't have to have it.

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Speaker 4: Don't have to have it.

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Speaker 1: I thought my family would have a problem with us

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Speaker 1: not having a big wedding or only inviting my parents, sister,

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Speaker 1: and brother in law, but my sister got upset because

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Speaker 1: she wanted to be my fiances made of honor. We

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Speaker 1: aren't even having a maid of honor or best man

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Speaker 1: or wedding party at all. Even if we were, my

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Speaker 1: fiance would want her own sister to be made of honor,

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Speaker 1: not my sister. That is pretty silly. Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

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Speaker 2: That's just sit the goofy move.

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Speaker 5: Yeah right there.

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Speaker 1: My sister also thought she would get a special role

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Speaker 1: in the wedding as sister of the groom, which isn't

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Speaker 1: a thing as far as I know, nor is it

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Speaker 1: something that I've ever heard of. But maybe she, you know,

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Speaker 1: did a whole lot of research for her own wedding

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Speaker 1: and came across this very niche sister of the groom.

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Speaker 2: And if you have a small wedding with burgers after you, ye,

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Speaker 2: why to have a sister.

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Speaker 5: Of the groom.

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Speaker 2: He's literally in the room book, It's in the rules.

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Speaker 1: She wants to have a moment where she walks down

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Speaker 1: the aisle alone before my.

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Speaker 4: Wife does so a bridesmaid.

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Speaker 1: She's like, I want a moment where I'm walking down

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Speaker 1: the aisle in a white dress and everyone says, oh,

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Speaker 1: here comes a bride to her brother. Come on, girl.

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Speaker 1: I've never seen anything like that at a wedding. I've

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Speaker 1: ever gone to only the bride or one half of

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Speaker 1: the couple, and sometimes the father walked down the aisle. Well,

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Speaker 1: bridesmaids do walk like sure like grimsmen and bridesmaid will

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Speaker 1: walk down the aisle.

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Speaker 5: But usually she's not one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she's not one. For full disclosure, my sister has ADHD,

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Speaker 1: and with that, she also has something called rejection sensitive dysphoria.

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Speaker 1: She takes rejection really personally, and even though my parents

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Speaker 1: sent her to therapy before, she still takes it hard

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Speaker 1: when she thinks someone has rejected her, even if they

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Speaker 1: haven't really done that. But the thing is, yes, that

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Speaker 1: that isn't like this this thing with people with ADHD.

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Speaker 1: You can be more sensitive rejection, but it's not a

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Speaker 1: thing to be like stupid that doesn't inherently come with ADHD.

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Speaker 1: You can't just be like, well, I want to be

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Speaker 1: I want to be the maid of honor because I

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Speaker 1: said so.

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Speaker 2: You can't just not reject somebody their whole life.

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Speaker 1: I told her my fiance and I aren't having wedding

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Speaker 1: parties or a wedding where other people have a special

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Speaker 1: role or moment. She feels rejected, and now my parents,

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Speaker 1: my brother in law, and other people in my family

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Speaker 1: are pressuring me to change my mind.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like your sister's been a little baby.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like her. Yeah, everyone's babied her their

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Speaker 1: whole life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Am I the ale for telling my sister and everyone

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Speaker 1: else that I don't care if she feels rejected and

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Speaker 1: won't change a thing about the wedding. It gets annoying

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Speaker 1: to have everything revolve around my sister's feelings all the

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Speaker 1: dang time. I don't think it's wrong for me and

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Speaker 1: my fiancee to want our wedding day to be about

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Speaker 1: us instead of giving my sister the role of maid

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Speaker 1: of honor and groom sister and letting her be the

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Speaker 1: center of attention like she wants. My parents and my

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Speaker 1: brother in law are the worst offenders, and I ended

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Speaker 1: up telling them and everyone else who pressured me that

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Speaker 1: I'm done talking about this and to never bring it

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Speaker 1: up again. Am I the angle for those I know?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it might seem like the answer is obvious, but

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Speaker 1: I'm honestly asking for the truth because I'm getting so

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Speaker 1: much pressure from my family that it is becoming unbearable.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: I just want to have my wedding the way my

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Speaker 1: fiance and I want it. But my family has never

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Speaker 1: gotten so upset at me about anything else before, So

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Speaker 1: I wonder if I overstep. There are some comments. Do

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Speaker 1: you have any comments of your own? No, it is

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Speaker 1: your wedding. You do it how you want to. She's

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Speaker 1: making up wedding roles. She's literally making stuff up.

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Speaker 2: No, Sophia, you see in the small weddings with Burgers

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Speaker 2: after there's a sister of the groom.

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Speaker 1: No one reads the small print.

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Speaker 2: You signed a contract.

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Speaker 1: I literally signed a contract. It was your birth certificate,

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Speaker 1: it says in the small print. Of your birth certificate.

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Speaker 1: If you have a small wedding with burgers, your sister

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Speaker 1: gets to block down the aisle.

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Speaker 2: And if you don't have a sister, you have to get.

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Speaker 1: Gotta get one. Don't make the rule. You're not the ahole.

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Speaker 1: If that wasn't clear, Yeah, no, Alternative OWL thirty seven

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Speaker 1: to ten says not the a hole. And I would

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Speaker 1: tell your parents, sister, and brother in law that if

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Speaker 1: they mentioned it again, then none of them will be

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Speaker 1: attending the small occasion with burgers you have planned. You'll

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Speaker 1: just Elope and I have some random witnesses. Yeah, we'll

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Speaker 1: get Jerry from the burger place. Yeah, and Suzanne.

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Speaker 2: Because then we can just limit the locations too. We

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Speaker 2: can just do the wedding in the burgers in the

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Speaker 2: burger place.

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Speaker 1: Let's cut out the middleman. We don't need the courthouse.

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Speaker 2: Burger place, Burgers down the aisle.

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Speaker 1: We get Jerry the burger flipper.

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Speaker 2: The flower girl obviously get Jerry the burger flipper.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's also the flower girl. Yeah'll throw the French fries.

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Speaker 1: M hmm, kind of like a salt thing.

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Speaker 2: That's the flower girl. Yeah, I it was French fries. Oh.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking like throw it up.

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Speaker 2: You know. Oh no, I was doing Flower Girl with

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Speaker 2: French fries.

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Speaker 1: I like it. Thank you, you got you got shot,

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Speaker 1: you got something special in.

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Speaker 2: The wedding planning business, I know all the rules.

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Speaker 6: I was gonna say, you got spunk, we use you guys,

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Speaker 6: spunk kidney.

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Speaker 1: That should shut them up. Cappy Book nine sixteen says

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Speaker 1: the two who set them up could be their witnesses.

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Speaker 1: Oh b side of the family needs to effing chill.

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Speaker 1: It's not his job to manage his sister's mental illness.

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Speaker 1: Fresh Passion says, I have rejection sensitivity disorder. Your sister

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Speaker 1: is trying to weaponize her. She's literally making up things

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Speaker 1: and it would successfully literally literally She's like, well, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna put myself in a situation where I'm obviously gonna

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Speaker 1: get rejected and then get upset. Yeah, there is no

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Speaker 1: wedding parties, so there's no sister of the groom. It's

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Speaker 1: not about her. It's that simple.

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Speaker 2: Also, it's like made of honor is something that you

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Speaker 2: pick out of like your closest friends.

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Speaker 5: Yea sister of the groom.

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Speaker 2: Girl, you're still the sister of the group, exactly. You're

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Speaker 2: still his sister. Like, just because we didn't give the

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Speaker 2: official time, you're still the sister of the groom.

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Speaker 1: I would be like, oh, we actually in our wedding.

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Speaker 1: We're not gonna have any like aisle walking. But you're

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Speaker 1: you're at you are the sister of that.

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Speaker 4: You are quite literally already that.

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Speaker 1: If she remains upset, she needs to work that out

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Speaker 1: in therapy. And there is an update. Goody, goody, let's

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Speaker 1: get it.

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Speaker 2: I hope Greg from the Burgers is here.

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Speaker 1: Two point five weeks later, we got married. We had

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Speaker 1: the wedding we wanted, yay. On Friday afternoon, we went

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Speaker 1: to city Hall, signed the paperwork and had a very

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Speaker 1: quick ceremony. We invited my wife's dad, her sister and

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Speaker 1: brother in law, her brother and his fiance, and my

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Speaker 1: best friend and his wife. My best friend and his

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Speaker 1: wife were the ones who introduced me to my wife

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Speaker 1: back when my friend, my wife, and I were serving

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Speaker 1: in the Armed forces. That evening, everyone I went out

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Speaker 1: to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Everyone took some photos

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Speaker 1: so we can remember the day, but things were very relaxed.

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Speaker 2: The Burger Place, the Burger Place with the Burger Girl.

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Speaker 1: We all wore clothes we already had and we kept

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Speaker 1: everything low key. My wife and I spent Saturday together

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Speaker 1: and we both have to work today. Dang ks. I

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Speaker 1: guess you know, if they wanted to keep it looking

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Speaker 1: maybe they're not doing a honeymoon.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think.

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Speaker 7: So.

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Speaker 1: We decided not to invite my sister, brother in law

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Speaker 1: and parents because of how they were acting, which I

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Speaker 1: think is fair.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think if you warned them and we're like, hey,

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Speaker 1: if you keep bringing this up, I we're not gonna

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Speaker 1: want to bring like invite you, then you know that's

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Speaker 1: on them. That's on them for they kept bringing it

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Speaker 1: up and then can't bringing it up. Last straw was

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Speaker 1: them trying to say my father in law was on

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Speaker 1: their side and wanted us to have a big wedding.

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Speaker 1: He never said that. I actually think he was a

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Speaker 1: tiny bit relieve because my wife's sister got married this

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Speaker 1: year and her brother is getting married next year. He's like,

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Speaker 1: they got how many weddings?

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Speaker 2: I like this burger guy, do you.

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Speaker 1: Know how many father daughter dances? I mad, I can't

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Speaker 1: keep dancing.

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Speaker 4: My siatic guys driving up dance twice.

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Speaker 1: Actually he has no I don't go and dance twice time.

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Speaker 2: Jeez.

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Speaker 1: My father law doesn't try to control the weddings of

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Speaker 1: his kids. He helps out with Erond's if he's needed,

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Speaker 1: but he doesn't try to control or change things. I

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Speaker 1: think he was relieved my wife and I didn't have

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Speaker 1: a big wedding, but he would never say that out

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Speaker 1: loud or comment on his kids having a big or

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Speaker 1: small wedding. My sister and everyone else are upset, oh man,

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Speaker 1: but I honestly don't care.

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Speaker 5: Get yourself a burger.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think it's unreasonable for a couple to

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Speaker 1: have the wedding day want it's like the whole Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of the whole pointing, or to have all

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Speaker 1: the attention on them when it's their wedding day. I

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Speaker 1: can't believe my parents and my brother in law are

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Speaker 1: entertaining her ideas on this. If we did have wedding parties,

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Speaker 1: my wife would want her own sister as the maid

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Speaker 1: of honor, not my sister. I don't know where my

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Speaker 1: sister got the idea she would get to walk down

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Speaker 1: the aisle alone with flowers before my wife did, or

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Speaker 1: have a special role as sister of the groom. My

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Speaker 1: wife and I are adults. We don't live with any

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Speaker 1: of them, and we have jobs slash our own money.

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Speaker 1: I put my foot down that my wife and I

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Speaker 1: are the wedding we wanted and we will not be

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Speaker 1: having any other wedding related stuff. You're done. My wife

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Speaker 1: and I are ecstatic about being married, and that's all

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Speaker 1: I ca Caramo. I appreciated all the support in my

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Speaker 1: last post.

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Speaker 5: Edit.

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Speaker 1: I have been told it is common in America, the

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Speaker 1: UK and other places for the wedding party to walk

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Speaker 1: down the aisle, which.

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Speaker 2: We said, indeed, it is, it is, it is.

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Speaker 1: I haven't heard of it because, as I explained in

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Speaker 1: my post, that isn't done here. Also, even if it was,

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Speaker 1: my sister wouldn't have been part of the wedding party. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter because she wasn't going to be

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Speaker 1: the maid of honor.

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Speaker 4: And she's still sister, which.

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Speaker 1: Isn't a role either. My wife would have chosen her

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Speaker 1: own sister and her friends, and I would have chosen

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Speaker 1: my friends. It would have looked very strange for my

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Speaker 1: sister to walk down the aisle alone before my wife did. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it would have. It certainly would have Where is she

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Speaker 1: walking to? Literally, I'm confused. Can we pushreadmail and then

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Speaker 1: she can just bot on. The treadmill passes her and

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00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,440
Speaker 1: she's like, huh huh, how she's so fast?

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Speaker 2: So quick?

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00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,120
Speaker 1: Fund in a little bit and then you just speed

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Speaker 1: it up. Yeah, and then you put it on like

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00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:12,839
Speaker 1: one of those inclines and she's like, what's going on. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: That's the end of that story, and that's my advice

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Speaker 1: for uop. Put your sister on the treadmill. Wow.

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Speaker 2: Although then we're training her to be stronger.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna walk down that aisle so quick. But that's

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Speaker 1: the end of that story. So we're gonna get into

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Speaker 1: the next one.

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Speaker 2: My stepfather is unhappy. Then I met my real father.

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Speaker 1: You have to pick one of us.

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Speaker 2: I twenty three female, and I grew up without my

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Speaker 2: biological dad. He and my mom had me pretty young,

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Speaker 2: So looking back, I can understand that my bio dad

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00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,000
Speaker 2: wasn't ready for fatherhood or whatever. Not that I excuse it.

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00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,920
Speaker 2: I just don't really care. My mom was young too,

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Speaker 2: but she had no choice. By the way, this comes from,

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Speaker 2: use her name and if you want us to make

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00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,720
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story

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00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,480
Speaker 2: Times subreddit and we're here to give good advice, goofully,

301
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:57,520
Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 1: We only know what we would do.

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00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,680
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do. And Opie says,

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Speaker 2: The thing is, when I was four, my mom met

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Speaker 2: a guy. He was twenty one and honestly not ready

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Speaker 2: to be a stepdad either.

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Speaker 1: I thought we were gonna get another Yeah, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to switch it.

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00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,720
Speaker 2: Up, but he still took me under his wing, and

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Speaker 2: so instead of stepdad, he became my dad.

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Speaker 1: He's like, I'm not ready to be a stepdad, but

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00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:20,679
Speaker 1: I am ready to be a father.

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Speaker 4: Can't call me Stepdad't call me step dad.

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Speaker 1: I don't like it. It comes with responsibilities father, totally different,

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00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:27,800
Speaker 1: totally different.

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Speaker 3: I'm your daddy now.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we were trying to avoid that one.

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Speaker 1: That's disgusting.

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Speaker 3: You're welcome.

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00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,199
Speaker 2: For me, the picture was complete. I never once felt

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00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,520
Speaker 2: like I was missing something while growing up. I knew

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00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:40,840
Speaker 2: I had a biodad out there, and I would be

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Speaker 2: lying if I said there were no days where I

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00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,440
Speaker 2: wondered why he didn't seem to care about me. But

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00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,280
Speaker 2: my father loved me so much and poured so much

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Speaker 2: of himself into me that it never became a thing.

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00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,840
Speaker 2: I'm super thankful. As you can imagine. My mom ended

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Speaker 2: up marrying him, but unfortunately they divorced when I was sixteen.

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Speaker 2: He has since moved out, but they were on very

330
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:04,120
Speaker 2: good terms. We all see each other very regularly. He

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00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:08,640
Speaker 2: still visits my maternal grandparents, is very involved and celebrates

332
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,840
Speaker 2: Christmas and New Year's with us. They're not together anymore,

333
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,520
Speaker 2: but things are still the same. I know how lucky

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00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,200
Speaker 2: I am for that now. When I was seventeen, I

335
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,080
Speaker 2: decided to reach out to my biodad out of curiosity.

336
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,800
Speaker 2: He was very receptive and excited to get.

337
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Speaker 1: To know me.

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Speaker 2: From the very beginning.

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00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:25,840
Speaker 1: It went very.

340
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,560
Speaker 2: Fast, and as young as I was, I was not

341
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,200
Speaker 2: really aware of this. Immediately, he wanted me to.

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00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,640
Speaker 4: Refer to him as Papa.

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00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,240
Speaker 1: He like, text this seventeen year old, He's like, call

344
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:40,040
Speaker 1: me Papa, and then he goes, you're bad like Papa.

345
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:44,440
Speaker 2: You're a lie like Papa. And when he sent me

346
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,800
Speaker 2: messages or gifted me stuff, he always had to sign

347
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,440
Speaker 2: off with your dad.

348
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:49,920
Speaker 6: MM.

349
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,080
Speaker 2: This really put me off, but I never knew how

350
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,080
Speaker 2: to properly deal with this or tell him. I wasn't

351
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:56,880
Speaker 2: comfortable with that.

352
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:57,640
Speaker 3: He did the wrong.

353
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 1: You're like, it's like, yeah, he was like your you

354
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,280
Speaker 1: are you are dad? You are dad.

355
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,320
Speaker 2: And then he's pregnant and it's yours but not yours,

356
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:07,800
Speaker 2: o pies.

357
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:13,040
Speaker 1: Oh that's worse. It's his kid. You're not concerned with

358
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,160
Speaker 1: how the dad is pregnant either, No, why is he

359
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,400
Speaker 1: pregnant with his child's kid?

360
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 3: Because he's dad?

361
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,040
Speaker 2: What you are Dad?

362
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,080
Speaker 3: You are Dad?

363
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,600
Speaker 1: We have funnier guys. Guys, we are funny and funny,

364
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:33,760
Speaker 1: funny down population three. What guys, it's eleven o'clock. It's

365
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,640
Speaker 1: actually ten o'clock. This is past Sophia's bedtime. Yeah.

366
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:41,440
Speaker 3: No, we're entering the Oh.

367
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,600
Speaker 1: I imagine I have a little hat.

368
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,000
Speaker 2: Whatever he was pushing on to me did not align

369
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,240
Speaker 2: with my reality that my dad was the man who

370
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,800
Speaker 2: actually raised me. Instead of laying the groundwork and addressing

371
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,080
Speaker 2: the elephants in the room to get that out of

372
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,760
Speaker 2: the way, he jumped right into the elephant.

373
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,400
Speaker 1: He said, let's get into that elephant right now, said.

374
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 2: Why are there's so many elephants here?

375
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 1: I want to address that elephant inside of the elephant

376
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:07,360
Speaker 1: kind of sight, kind of a Jonah inside the whale situation.

377
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,560
Speaker 1: He said, we gotta address the whale. I'm in the room,

378
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,040
Speaker 1: and the whale is the room.

379
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,600
Speaker 4: And there's elephants in the whale.

380
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,280
Speaker 1: There's elephants in the whale. Address both.

381
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,960
Speaker 2: He jumped right in and skipped all the hard stuff

382
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,800
Speaker 2: that needed to be discussed. Contact was very irregular anyway.

383
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,400
Speaker 2: He only seemed to reach out when he was bored.

384
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,280
Speaker 2: But this didn't really bother me. I was aware I

385
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,920
Speaker 2: deserved better, though, so when I was twenty we had

386
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:32,640
Speaker 2: a falling out.

387
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 1: I'm just imagining him being like, hey, you up as

388
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,400
Speaker 1: your dad wanna?

389
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,080
Speaker 6: I don't know?

390
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 4: It's your dad, and you are dad?

391
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 1: You are Dad, I'm bored.

392
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 2: We only started speaking again last year, when I was

393
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 2: twenty two. The pattern repeated, no hard conversations, just jumping

394
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 2: ride in. He didn't even address our falling out, just

395
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,120
Speaker 2: started texting me about vacations and dinners and family meetings.

396
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,960
Speaker 2: I was overwhelmed, and Stu played along.

397
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 5: It has been a bumpy ride.

398
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,840
Speaker 2: This year, a lot of pretending I'm fine with things,

399
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,920
Speaker 2: going along with their family traditions, playing.

400
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,160
Speaker 4: The role that they want me to play.

401
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,320
Speaker 2: I carry my mom's last name, but was originally born

402
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,159
Speaker 2: with my bio dad's name. When I was six, I

403
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,120
Speaker 2: asked my mom if I could have the same name

404
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,440
Speaker 2: as her, and ever since then, I've had her name.

405
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,320
Speaker 2: Oh so adorable at six?

406
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I what do your name? You've kind of a

407
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,640
Speaker 1: prissy Jackson situation.

408
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 2: He wanted to fight this in court, despite not having

409
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,640
Speaker 2: seen me for years at this point and not even

410
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:34,280
Speaker 2: paying child support fifty euros are pounds, that's euros fifty

411
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,199
Speaker 2: euros per month, but a legal advisor reminded him of

412
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,719
Speaker 2: these facts and that if he would want to object,

413
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,679
Speaker 2: he would one hundred percent lose the case anyway. Despite this,

414
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,960
Speaker 2: he has me saved at his phone with his last name.

415
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,080
Speaker 2: It's things like that that make me feel deeply uncomfortable.

416
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 1: Did it just say that he's not paying child support?

417
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:52,159
Speaker 5: That he is?

418
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:53,320
Speaker 1: What did that just say?

419
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,919
Speaker 2: Not even paying child support?

420
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this man's not paying child support, says call me.

421
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 1: Papa keeps messaging you, and now it's like, well, I'm

422
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 1: gonna call you by my last name, even though I'm

423
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:04,480
Speaker 1: not in your life at all.

424
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 3: I'm Papa last name, Papa last.

425
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,679
Speaker 1: Name, Papa last name, Papa last.

426
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,920
Speaker 5: Name, and that's what you should save him in your phoneows.

427
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,520
Speaker 2: Last summer in August, he had a crash out.

428
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 1: Don't we all?

429
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,600
Speaker 3: Everybody gets one?

430
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,680
Speaker 1: Don't we all have a crash out? NAIs? I actually

431
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,239
Speaker 1: don't think I had a crush out, Nius. I think

432
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:21,959
Speaker 1: I was pretty chill.

433
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:23,159
Speaker 3: Well, are you lucky?

434
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,320
Speaker 4: He's all cool?

435
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,679
Speaker 2: And he yelled at my half sister seventeen female and me,

436
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 2: which also made it evident he wants and expects more

437
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,399
Speaker 2: from me. With more, I mean he wants me to

438
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,480
Speaker 2: confirm and affirm his position as a father, that I

439
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 2: reassure him.

440
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,840
Speaker 1: And yes, all that Papa Papa business. But do you

441
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 1: like me? I just feel like everyone doesn't like me,

442
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 1: and I just feel ugly.

443
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 2: I'm texting you, Hey, you up every night, and you're

444
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:48,879
Speaker 2: not always up.

445
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 1: Sometimes you're asleep, and sometimes you say stop texting me.

446
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 2: You're not about to say good night, Papa.

447
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 1: That's all I want. I just want a good night Papa.

448
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,800
Speaker 1: It's not that much to ask for this.

449
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 5: Start texting Sophia good night, Papa.

450
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,560
Speaker 1: Please do please do and I'll just tex shoot you up.

451
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 6: But like an hour, please don't do that, do that.

452
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:16,880
Speaker 3: I'm already cut from everything.

453
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,359
Speaker 4: I enjoy me and Sophia's wedding.

454
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:19,640
Speaker 1: Now.

455
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 2: Yes, he wants me to forget where I come from

456
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,919
Speaker 2: and be all about him, But I just feel like

457
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 2: I can't give him more than just being in his

458
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,639
Speaker 2: life and doing fun things with him, building our relationship

459
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 2: like two humans. I started therapy to work with these feelings.

460
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 2: I just struggle with the fact that he's my bio

461
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 2: dad and he's on my legal papers despite never having

462
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,600
Speaker 2: done the dirty work for me, the fact that he

463
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 2: can always wave around the papers in my face that

464
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 2: he's my father, and he believes that because the papers

465
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 2: say he's my biological father, he can call himself that.

466
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,640
Speaker 2: Technically he can, but I have a very hard time

467
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,199
Speaker 2: accepting it, along with him basically trying to hypnotize me

468
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 2: into calling him Papa, our dad on my face.

469
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 1: He's going, Papa, you're getting very sleepy. In an hour,

470
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 1: you're gonna wake up and text me you.

471
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 3: I don't know, Hey, Papa, you.

472
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 4: Want to come over.

473
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,359
Speaker 3: I've seen stranger things.

474
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:19,439
Speaker 1: Oh, I hope this comes out after season five? Is

475
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: all the way up?

476
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 3: Papa's never mind, I'm no spoilers.

477
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 6: You just stop it, Papa, can you hear me?

478
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 2: He gives me iPads and all sorts of stuff, all

479
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 2: engraved with your dad, as if it wasn't already obvious.

480
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, he's engraving the iPads. Is he

481
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: like sketching into the glass Papa?

482
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,640
Speaker 2: I think he's getting them laser engraved like your dad.

483
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 4: It's saying you are Dad.

484
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 2: So it's so op. He doesn't forget that one day

485
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,679
Speaker 2: he will become Papa.

486
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 1: I think it's still insane to engrave, even at laser engraving.

487
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 2: An iPad, just to get your point across that much

488
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 2: that I am your old dad.

489
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,239
Speaker 1: You can have this iPad if you acknowledge.

490
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,120
Speaker 6: Again, don't forget a piece of female so it makes

491
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 6: it even better.

492
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,960
Speaker 1: All of this is great. I thought, no, that's why

493
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,119
Speaker 1: I was so confused the first time around, and then

494
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 1: I got your joke.

495
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 2: He denies the existence of my real dad, the man

496
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,880
Speaker 2: who raised me, and continuously makes weird remarks here and there,

497
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 2: trying to one up him. Anyways, I realize that I

498
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 2: can't go on like this. My negative emotions are making

499
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 2: it hard for me to behave normally, even in the

500
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,399
Speaker 2: presence of other family members on his side that have nothing.

501
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 5: To do with it.

502
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 2: I treasure my budding relationship with my uncle, grandma and

503
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 2: my sister, so I've decided to be honest after all

504
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 2: this time. I texted him a few days ago and

505
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,959
Speaker 2: told him that I've been raised by another man in

506
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 2: his absence, and because of this, I've come to see

507
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 2: this man as my father. I stayed respectful, never insulted him,

508
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 2: just described my experience. I told him I'm uncomfortable with

509
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,199
Speaker 2: him denying my past, my last name, and that it

510
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 2: feels like I'm not being respected or accepted. That it's

511
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 2: like I'm expected to play the role of the version

512
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 2: of me that he thinks is ideal, the version of

513
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 2: me that would have existed had he not left me.

514
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 2: But that's just not realistic. It's not some sim character

515
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: whose life you can shape to your will. I said

516
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 2: that I am willing to continue working on us, but

517
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 2: in a way that works for both of us, not

518
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 2: just him. I want to speak about these things. I

519
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 2: want my life and identity to get acknowledged, not water

520
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 2: myself down into some version of myself that he can

521
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 2: tolerate because it's too painful for him otherwise. But we've

522
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 2: got just a little bit left in all seriousness. Though,

523
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 2: I think that it is great that you finally like

524
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 2: laid down the law and said that and said listen,

525
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 2: like you were not around, do raise me.

526
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 4: I had a dad.

527
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 2: I have someone that I like to highly consider my dad.

528
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 4: And it's not you.

529
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 1: You're not my dad. You're not You're literally not my dad.

530
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 1: You're not my dad, my mom, except this time you're

531
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:56,920
Speaker 1: not my dad. Yeah.

532
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 5: Actual meme is you're not my dad.

533
00:22:59,200 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: That's true.

534
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 2: That's what you were doing though.

535
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 1: I was, but I thought it was mom. Anyway, he

536
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,120
Speaker 1: had it right at the end of the day, He's

537
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: not your dad. You got a dad. And he's a

538
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 1: weird guy that keeps asking a calm papa in an

539
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: ipadra and he's engraving iPads. That's weird, yeah.

540
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 3: He said.

541
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,719
Speaker 6: After twenty years, he said, hmm, I'm papa.

542
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 2: No, Papa's here.

543
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 4: You up here?

544
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 1: Hey, I know it's been twenty years. Eat Papa, Hey,

545
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: Papa here, hit chat Papa here, he ja, it's papa.

546
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 2: He hasn't replied since, and I'm starting to feel kind

547
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 2: of crazy. Am I overreacting? Why can he never just

548
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 2: reply and have an adult conversation with me? I do

549
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 2: acknowledge that this could be out of the blue for him.

550
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 2: Even though we haven't spoken since our thingy in August.

551
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 2: We did apologize to each other, but it's been very

552
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 2: rusty between us. He says he wants a place in

553
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,440
Speaker 2: my life, which he has. He's just not happy with

554
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 2: the police he's gotten. He cannot accept it, but I

555
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 2: can't do more. I have a father. I know I'm

556
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 2: late to being honest, and I feel bad for it.

557
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? We have some common coming

558
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 2: to one, not the ahole. You are one hundred percent

559
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 2: of the right. Your dad hasn't changed over the years.

560
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,400
Speaker 2: I bet if you had never established contact with him,

561
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 2: he wouldn't have done it on his own. You both

562
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 2: can't move forward until the big things are addressed. He

563
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 2: can't sweep them under the rug. Opie says, thank you.

564
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 2: Honestly felt so wrong and still feels so wrong to

565
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 2: continue like this and pretend that everything is perfect. While

566
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 2: we haven't talked about these things from the very beginning.

567
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,400
Speaker 2: The things he's denying or refuses to talk about are

568
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 2: things that are so important to me and are basically

569
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,399
Speaker 2: my identity. So I always felt like an impostor sitting

570
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 2: there that he has not changed. Is also true that

571
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 2: he was not ready to be a dad because of

572
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 2: his age. I get, but there are things he hasn't

573
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 2: out grown. Unfortunately, he had a daughter after me when

574
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 2: he was older, and she has a very difficult time

575
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 2: with him. I don't think he can be changed, though,

576
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 2: and I realize that trying to is just a waste

577
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 2: of my energy. I know that I need to stop

578
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: trying to control it. It's probably beyond me. I've already

579
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 2: sent the message, so I can't take that back. If

580
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: he's unwilling to work together, then I guess I need

581
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 2: to decide for myself to remove myself from the situation.

582
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 2: I'm just worried about the collateral damage. And all the opinions.

583
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 1: Ignore the hater's opie. They're just your motivators.

584
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,719
Speaker 2: Speed of these haters common or two is downloaded.

585
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 1: Uh Ah, I think.

586
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,400
Speaker 2: You're being a bit dramatic. You have a stepfather who

587
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 2: was a true father to you. Are you still in

588
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 2: frequent contact with him apart from family gatherings? You have

589
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 2: a birth father, that's just true. You don't have to

590
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: have any relationship with him at all, but you keep

591
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 2: going back to be a part of his life and

592
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 2: a part of his family's life.

593
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like that's actually true. It seems like

594
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,160
Speaker 1: he keeps texting Opie, Papa's up. Are you yeah?

595
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 2: Hi?

596
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: Heyes, Papa.

597
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: If you don't want that, then you have to stop.

598
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 2: You don't get to control him. You don't get a

599
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 2: birth father who knows how to rebuild the sort of

600
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 2: relationship you want. All you can control are your choices,

601
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 2: So stop upsetting yourself. Opie says, thank.

602
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: You for your honesty. Lol.

603
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 2: I know I'm being dramatic, but I just can't get

604
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,719
Speaker 2: it out of my head. Started therapy too for this reason.

605
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 2: What you're saying is very true. I just think I

606
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 2: need to hear this, especially since everyone else in my

607
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 2: life is pretty biased and harsh about it towards him,

608
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 2: so I can get very lost in this on my own.

609
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,199
Speaker 2: It helps to hear it from others who don't know

610
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 2: him and me personally. I just need to accept that

611
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 2: I can't change the fact and can't control him. It's

612
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 2: just really felt bad when I saw that he read

613
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 2: and didn't reply to my message and started overthinking horribly.

614
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 1: Thanks.

615
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 5: And that's the story.

616
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: And that's the freaking end, dude, that's the end.

617
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 2: And I hope that he apologized. I hope that he responds,

618
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 2: but that it's in a very civil, nice little let's

619
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 2: actually have a conversation kind of way.

620
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, good luck, Opie. I think that commentre was weird

621
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 1: and like harsh, and I don't think it was like

622
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: very terrible. Yeah, but I think in a sense that

623
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 1: I think that is the main I like, my main

624
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 1: advice would be to just kind of create that distance

625
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 1: that you want, uh, and don't feel bad about, you know,

626
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,199
Speaker 1: creating its story. But it's not the end of them.

627
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 2: No, it's no stay put hey, you can't leave John

628
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 2: here og host.

629
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 3: We're going to get back to these stories. But a

630
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 3: quick three minute break from as from our sponsors.

631
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 1: I called out my neurodivergent sister and now she thinks

632
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 1: I hate her?

633
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 4: Did you say mean things to her?

634
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,400
Speaker 1: And this comes directly from the r slash Okay storytime

635
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: suppared it Oooh. I thirty one female and my sister

636
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 1: Tina forty one, names changed, have never really gotten along

637
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 1: since I've become an adult myself. For some context, my

638
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: sister was diagnosed ADHD autistic at a very early age

639
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 1: and is maybe mentally thirteen on a good day. Because

640
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 1: early on my parents knew this, they essentially enabled her

641
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: never even expected her to graduate high school, let alone

642
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: be able to live on her own. By the way,

643
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 1: this comes from American horse Pirate. And if you want

644
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash. Okay,

645
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 1: storytime suppered it, and we're here to give good advice. Goofy.

646
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,199
Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

647
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: what we'd do, So let us know what you would do.

648
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: In the comments, Opie says she did graduate high school

649
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 1: thanks to a family friend who tutored her and helped

650
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,479
Speaker 1: her graduate via ged. After graduating, she then went and

651
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 1: lived with her grandma, who is in a wheelchair, to

652
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,640
Speaker 1: take care of her. She has little to know long

653
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 1: term or short term memory on events and things, and

654
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 1: has a hard time separating reality from fantasy, only understanding

655
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: things on a surface level. After our grandma's passing, she

656
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 1: moved back in with my mother. Our father passed over

657
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 1: ten years ago, and since then has gotten a full

658
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 1: time job as a courtesy clerk, as well as gotten

659
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 1: her driver's license. I had given her my old car,

660
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: so she had her own vehicle to drive around, so

661
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: I never really was around her much ever, even growing up,

662
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: due to her living over an hour away, only coming

663
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 1: home for holidays and weekends here and there, I really

664
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 1: didn't know how handicapped she was until last year, when

665
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: my husband and I moved back home to help my mother.

666
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: She has a lot of very unrealistic expectations for life

667
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 1: in general, let alone for her particular situation. For example,

668
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 1: she developed a crush on a nineteen year old boy

669
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: my mom hired occasionally for repairs, and out of very

670
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 1: hard time grasping why a nineteen year old boy would

671
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: not fall ahead over heels in love with a forty

672
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: one year old woman, and proceeded to obsess and emotionally

673
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: stalk him for three years.

674
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 2: Okay, well that that part, that's the best, the part

675
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 2: that we got to stop doing.

676
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 1: I don't think it's wrong for when.

677
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 2: I had a little crush, Yeah, to emotionally stuck, that's you.

678
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 2: We should stop.

679
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, really, it keeping really really icky. And if I

680
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: were the I mean, we don't really know. I guess

681
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: too much about like what level her autism.

682
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 5: Is about, but she's about.

683
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,479
Speaker 1: Thirteen years old. Yeah, Oh, okay, Okay, so we do know,

684
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: we do know like kind of age, which it does

685
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: make sense some of this behavior. I think that like

686
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 1: not excused, but it does explain.

687
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 2: I think that could totally explain the like, oh my god,

688
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 2: I have a crush kind of thing, and like they're

689
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 2: not realizing that you're a bit older than you feel.

690
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 1: Yes, in which case, I think it's on like whoever

691
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: is taking care of her.

692
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 2: It's on whoe's taking care of her to make sure

693
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 2: that she's not emotionally stalking somebody' thing that you can

694
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: expect her to be.

695
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 4: Like, I agree what I'm doing is wrong and I

696
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 4: need to.

697
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 1: Do She doesn't have that mental capacity, but clearly guidance

698
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: to help her learn and teach her and keep her

699
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: on a path of not doing that is needed. She

700
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 1: also has issues with personal hygiene. She can't remember to

701
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: brush her teeth, hair, or shower on a daily basis,

702
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 1: so my mother asked to remind her that those things

703
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: do in fact need to be done.

704
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 2: Also very normal, this is Yeah, maybe we could make

705
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 2: a chart on the wall that shows her a little

706
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 2: check off list.

707
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: Actually have a Yeah, I have a family friend who

708
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 1: who has watched over you know, person with autism for

709
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: my whole life, as long as I've known them, And

710
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,719
Speaker 1: they have a whole system and set up. And this

711
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: is a person who can't live alone, and so she

712
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: like watches him full time and lives with him full

713
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: time and you know, helps him. And they have like

714
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 1: people like social workers who like also work with him

715
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 1: and stuff.

716
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just sounds like she has a higher level

717
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 2: of care needed and yeah, person to help her with that.

718
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I don't think that I don't know if oh,

719
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: he's expecting this of her, because I don't think that's I.

720
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 5: Don't know that she's necessarily I do think.

721
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: That it should be expected that someone in her life helps, yes, Yes,

722
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: and kind of puts limits on you know, these papers.

723
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 2: Whether it be mom or a hired person.

724
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: To help or Tina also desires to have a boyfriend

725
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: and eventually get married, which I hope and pray she

726
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: does get someday. Since she only has a service level understanding,

727
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 1: I've tried to help her understand what a healthy relationship

728
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: entails and that those things aren't easy and require a

729
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: lot of work and effort. You have to do more

730
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: than just lay around, have spicy sleep and watch movies together.

731
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: You also need to shower, take care of yourself, clean,

732
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 1: and not just sit in your room all day. Since

733
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 1: our oldest sister got married over nineteen years ago, she's

734
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: desired to get married herself and has caused a lot

735
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 1: of issues because of it. At my husband's in my wedding,

736
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 1: she nearly ruined it by going around saying negative things

737
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: about me and my husband the entire reception and pretty

738
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: much made my wedding day miserable. Nobody would talk to

739
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: her about it because they always have And oh, that's

740
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 1: just that. Tina is mentality and she's never really been

741
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: held accountable for her actions. That's the issue. Problem, that

742
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: is the issue.

743
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 5: Can still be held accountable.

744
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: Yes, you need to help hold Tina accountable because she's

745
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: still able to learn in some capacity.

746
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 2: This is you know, like yeah, and the fact that

747
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 2: everyone was just like, oh, that's just Tina, and no

748
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 2: one went up and said, yeah, Tina, we don't do that.

749
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: Yeah's just different. Like again, like like the person that

750
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: I know who takes care of a person with autism,

751
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 1: I have seen, I've witnessed her be like oh no,

752
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: like we don't do that, Like okay, okay, stop that,

753
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: and it's just setting those boundaries and and learning how

754
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: to talk to someone and communicate that is effective. But

755
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: it doesn't work to just be like.

756
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 5: Wow, she's mentally a teenager.

757
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 2: She can understand right and wrong.

758
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: When my husband and I went to leave our reception,

759
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: she proceeded to scream costs words at us as we

760
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 1: left and flipped us off. Due to her attitude, everyone

761
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: decided to leave the reception and go home. My entire

762
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: married life, my husband and I have had to be

763
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: extremely careful around her with our PDA. We can't even

764
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 1: sit next to each other on the couch without sending

765
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 1: her into an emotional spiral, saying I'm rubbing my husband

766
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 1: in her face to make her miserable. We don't kiss,

767
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: hold hands, or sit with each other when she's around

768
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: to avoid her spiraling into a freak out. I couldn't

769
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 1: even give my husband a kiss goodbye when he left

770
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 1: for work without it causing her to freak out. Now,

771
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: I was diagnosed ADHD and autistic at age twenty seven

772
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: and dived deep into research mode on neurodivergent brain. When

773
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: my husband and I moved back to my mom's I

774
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: really try to help her now understanding how her brain

775
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 1: works and help her be able to be more social

776
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 1: and comfortable with other people. I took her to my

777
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: work with me, I gave writing lessons for horseback riding.

778
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 1: I would take her with me to my friend's houses,

779
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 1: even taking her to karaoke nights when she was comfortable.

780
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 1: I never forced her to do anything, but gave her

781
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: open invitations to attend these things and encouraged her to

782
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: bring her own car so if she felt overwhelmed she

783
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: could go home when she was ready. I encouraged her

784
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: when she felt down and really try to help her

785
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 1: be more comfortable outside of her room in the outside world,

786
00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: so that she could start to get things that she

787
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 1: truly desired, like friends, going to events, and having fun

788
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,959
Speaker 1: outside of playing video games. Fast forward to what this

789
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 1: post is about. This happened a few months ago, but

790
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,359
Speaker 1: I am still getting some pushback from our mother about this.

791
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: We were having a fun day with some friends of

792
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,359
Speaker 1: my husband's and I that we've known forever at our

793
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 1: place with my mom and sister. We had a bonfire.

794
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,399
Speaker 1: We're roasting marshmallows and hot dogs and letting the kids

795
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 1: run and play. Overall, a very fun day. At one point,

796
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: it was just me and my friend Joy sitting by

797
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 1: the fire pit, chatting about x'es and basically saying how

798
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 1: lucky we are to be with the men we have now. Apparently,

799
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: my sister was in her room overlooking us at the

800
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: fire and evesdropping on the entire conversation. Then Joy went

801
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 1: inside to get another drink and saw my sister and

802
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 1: asked her, Hey, Tina, what's going on in a friendly tone.

803
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: My sister went off on her, telling my friend that

804
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: she despises me as a person and that I'm a

805
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 1: witch and she wants to physically harm me because everything

806
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 1: I have done in my life has been out of

807
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: pure spite of her and to emotionally hurt her on purpose.

808
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: My friend knows my sister very well and reassured her

809
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: that none if that's true. As kindly as possible, Joy

810
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 1: came out and told me about what had just happened,

811
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: which is not the first time she's been in a

812
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,360
Speaker 1: spiral and blame me for everything, and usually I just

813
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: brush it off, but that night I couldn't sleep and

814
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,879
Speaker 1: it truly hurt me that she would say those things

815
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 1: about me. Again, I think it is absolutely very valid

816
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 1: to be affected by those words. I think that maybe

817
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: you know this too.

818
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 2: I'm sure she knows it deep down, and I'm sure

819
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 2: she's been hearing like her whole life.

820
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: Boy, it's like it's so hard to hear like that.

821
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 1: You know, you have to excuse that, or you have

822
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: to understand that she doesn't mean it, or it's come

823
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 1: you know, and that is so hard to hear. And

824
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: still you know, have to receive that like verbal attack

825
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: and just brush it off. So I do empathize with

826
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: you or sympathize with you. Ope, And I don't want

827
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 1: to say, like just brush it off. I think that

828
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 1: there is like there is a necessity and you can

829
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 1: bring up yeah. Yeah, I still think that, like there

830
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 1: are ways to deal with it and say hey, that's

831
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: not okay in a way or in a like mental

832
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 1: age appropriate way, maybe is more effective than just saying

833
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: let's brush it off or not even talking to her

834
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: about it, you know.

835
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:12,879
Speaker 5: So we'll talk to her about it.

836
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: The next morning when we all woke up and were

837
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,799
Speaker 1: walking around. I can't remember exactly what she did, but

838
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 1: I ended up blowing up on her about what she

839
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 1: said to my friend, telling her that it truly hurt me.

840
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 1: Especially since moving back. I've truly tried to help her

841
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: get out into the world and do things she's always

842
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: wanted to try, on top of just having a baby.

843
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: That same year, told me sorry in an angry tone,

844
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 1: and I could tell she didn't actually mean it, and

845
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:35,879
Speaker 1: I called her out on it. That's when I said,

846
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 1: you complain every day that you want to be an

847
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: adult and do everything on your own, and you've done

848
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: nothing to change and show that you can be an adult.

849
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 1: You aren't accountable for your own actions. You were given

850
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,280
Speaker 1: care from me and never said thank you. Mom pays

851
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 1: all your bills for you and all your groceries, and

852
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 1: you expect to go out into the world and be fine.

853
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: When you won't, It's time for you to grow up.

854
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 1: Which is an example of maybe not the most effective.

855
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 2: Maybe a bit of a harsh way of saying, I

856
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 2: get it.

857
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: I get it, you break. Yeah, everyone has them, everyone

858
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 1: has them. Is it the most effective thing that's going

859
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: to get through to her. No, And now we can take.

860
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 2: A step back and realize that maybe we're a little harsh.

861
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, we can have that conversation and maybe.

862
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 1: Cause why we can afford it. Professionals in all, yeah,

863
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: people not to help her and guide her, because when

864
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 1: you're not a professional even you know, though you might

865
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,920
Speaker 1: know and have your own lived experience of autism and ADHD,

866
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: you don't know your sister's experience. You know, you've seen

867
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 1: it from the outside, but you don't know what she

868
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 1: needs from a professional level. She got mad and stomp

869
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 1: back upstairs to her room, where I could hear her

870
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: cursing my existence under her breath the entire time. My

871
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,360
Speaker 1: sister is a very dramatic person and has a tendency

872
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: to tell lies to get attention. I proceeded to tell

873
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 1: my mom she desperately wants to live a normal adult life,

874
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 1: but she hasn't ever been held accountable for her words

875
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: or actions, and I'm done sweeping these utterly evil things

876
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 1: she says under the rug and ignoring them. If she

877
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 1: wants to be an adult, I'm going to treat her

878
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: like one and call her out for the things she

879
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: says and does, which I think is a failing on

880
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 1: your mom's part. Which, again, you know, it's super hard

881
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 1: to figure out how to parent, you know, a child

882
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 1: that has special needs and stuff, But I think it

883
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,399
Speaker 1: is a you know, at the end of the day,

884
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: you have had to deal with the parenting failures, or

885
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: the parenting at least just lack of understanding of how

886
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 1: to care for this child, and you had to, like

887
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 1: kake the broat to that.

888
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 5: Yeah.

889
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: A lot after that, my sister went outside for a walk,

890
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: and when she returned, she came up to me with

891
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: tears in her eyes and said, I don't expect you

892
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: to forgive me for what I said, but if you

893
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: could think about it, I would.

894
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 7: Appreciate it, which show I mean, that's great, this is great.

895
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: Which shows that maybe, I mean, I don't know if

896
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: you know your approach was the best way, but it

897
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: does show that you got through. Yeah, saying hey, I'm

898
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:52,399
Speaker 1: going to be straightforward with you does sometimes work with her.

899
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 5: Opie could be very right.

900
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 2: Maybe she really just does want to be an adult

901
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 2: and nobody's treating her like one, and she's like, oh

902
00:38:58,280 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 2: my god. Ope.

903
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: I told her I had I'd already forgiven her and

904
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: that I loved her dearly, and the only reason what

905
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 1: she said had bothered me was because I loved her.

906
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: After that, my husband and I decided to move out

907
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 1: to another state, still seming close for the well being

908
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: of her family because there were a lot of other

909
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 1: issues and things happening between my sister and mom and

910
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 1: my mom and me and my husband and my mom

911
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,240
Speaker 1: that left us all on edge. I ended up losing

912
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 1: fifty pounds due to the stress and wow, and we

913
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 1: needed our own space to figure out being parents together

914
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: without the added stress or influence of my family. But

915
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 1: there is a little bit left to this story. Any

916
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 1: final thoughts.

917
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 2: Think that moving out of the direct like being so

918
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 2: so close to them is good A stayed away shore

919
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,479
Speaker 2: or whatever wherever you want to go. I think that'll

920
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 2: help a lot of it. And I do hope that

921
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,760
Speaker 2: like people continue to treat your sister maybe a little

922
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 2: more adult and if that's really what she wants, and

923
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 2: like she can kind of start to experience that more.

924
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 7: Yeah.

925
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I think.

926
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 7: If that's truly what's working, Yeah, talk to your mom

927
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,720
Speaker 7: and say, hey, Like she kind of received that very well,

928
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 7: and I think it is only beneficial for her to

929
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 7: have I don't know, just at least consequences.

930
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 2: Or at least the understanding that you hurt somebody too.

931
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 1: But now ever, since then, when my sister goes into

932
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 1: an emotional spiral, it's all my fault again on how

933
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 1: I hate her and water gone, which is not even

934
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: remotely true. Like I said, she has a hard time

935
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 1: separating reality from feeling, and when her emotions take control,

936
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 1: all reality goes out the door. My mother blames me

937
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 1: for that argument we had that day. Even though these

938
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 1: spirals are happening less, but they are more drastic than

939
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 1: they typically are. Even though Tina can't remember to brush

940
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: her teeth or shower every day, she seems to think

941
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,359
Speaker 1: I don't want her to be alive anymore. She can't

942
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: remember the result we had where we held each other

943
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: in tears filled with love for one another, but just

944
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 1: the fact that I called her out for the words

945
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 1: she said about me to my dear friend, Am I

946
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: the ale? I don't think you're the a hole. I

947
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: think you were unequipped to deal.

948
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 5: I think most people in the story were. I agree.

949
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: I think most people in the story are unequipped to

950
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 1: deal with the extra knee that you're you know, of

951
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,280
Speaker 1: your sister. Yeah, and if you can't afford it, calling

952
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 1: it a professional or talking to someone I think would

953
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 1: be incredibly helpful.

954
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, for everybody. Everybody should talk to someone.

955
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 1: But uh, that is the end of that story, we

956
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 1: got another one. Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get

957
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: back to the stories. Put a quick three minute ad

958
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 1: break from our sponsors that keep the show going.

959
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 2: I kidnapped my sister's dog. Huh And this comes directly

960
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 2: from the Okay storytime subreddit. And we also have a

961
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 2: trigger warning for animal negligence. Ooh, I twenty four female

962
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 2: kidnapped my sister's thirty four female dog. And now half

963
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 2: my family's calling me the a hole. The other half

964
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 2: is texting me cryptic messages like we always need be

965
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:43,760
Speaker 2: the one to bring balance?

966
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: Are you the avatar?

967
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 2: I swear I'm not on substances. By the way, this

968
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 2: comes from Unhappy Potato eighty three, twenty five. And if

969
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 2: you want to meet your own stories, go to the

970
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime subreddit and we're here.

971
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 5: To give good advice. Goofy.

972
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers.

973
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, So let us

974
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. Opie says background,

975
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,359
Speaker 2: my sister Emily got into a group. She says, it's

976
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 2: not a cult, it's a bio vibrational collective for cosmic alignment.

977
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: It's not a cult. Looks crazy. It's not a cult.

978
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:24,360
Speaker 4: It's a bio vibrational collective alignment.

979
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: I messed it up.

980
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 2: Bio vibrational collective for cosmic line.

981
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, it's a collective ultimate liaison team.

982
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,439
Speaker 2: Okay, see u elt, I'll work on a better rector, sure, Jim.

983
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 2: They live on a compound where all white drink mushroom

984
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:44,479
Speaker 2: tea daily and have weird names like star Daddy, Nol

985
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 2: and moon Drip. That's just a subreddit and Emily now

986
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 2: goes by Echo. It's kind of sick, kind of the cool.

987
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,320
Speaker 1: This is like Warrior Cat subred.

988
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 3: I go by Echo Echo. Now have you seen arcane?

989
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 2: So a few months ago, she gave away most of

990
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 2: her possess except her Australian shepherd.

991
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 1: I love Australian shepherds.

992
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 2: His name's Waffles, she said, and I quote Waffles is

993
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 2: my soul bridge in this realm.

994
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:11,320
Speaker 1: What does that mean?

995
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 3: I look at that person straight.

996
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 1: I don't know I could have a relationship with a

997
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 1: person like this.

998
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 5: He's just my soul bridge, you.

999
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 3: Know, explained to me what that means.

1000
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:21,760
Speaker 2: Kai, Kai's my soul's my cat.

1001
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 6: Guys, just for you're saying words right now, and he's

1002
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 6: your soul.

1003
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 5: Bridge reference guys.

1004
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, last week I visited the compound for her solar

1005
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 2: shift ceremony. Basically, they danced in silence under a heat

1006
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 2: lamp for.

1007
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 1: Are you guys lizards for three hours? Is that just

1008
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 1: a sauna?

1009
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 2: No?

1010
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 1: Sorry, this is hot yoga.

1011
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 2: I noticed Waffles looked off dirty, matted for limping slightly

1012
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 2: and eating. Plain tofu off the ground.

1013
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:56,240
Speaker 1: They're feeding this dog. They're making a dog a vegetarian insect.

1014
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 2: Get that dog out of there. I freaked out that night.

1015
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 4: I stole Waffle.

1016
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: Good job.

1017
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 2: I drove back home, took him to a vet and

1018
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 2: he's got a minor infection and needed proper food. I

1019
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 2: texted Emily a photo and said I had him. She flipped,

1020
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 2: said I violated the vibration pack.

1021
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 1: I literally don't. I go lo ol. What the hell

1022
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 1: is a vibration packed?

1023
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 3: You see this affection?

1024
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 4: I'm so bridge.

1025
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's falling apart. I'd be like this vibration pack

1026
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 6: was ruined when he had an infection.

1027
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 2: There's more, and that Waffles had been mid transition into

1028
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,320
Speaker 2: an ethereal plane.

1029
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,800
Speaker 1: That's actually terrifying because that sounds like she's like the

1030
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 1: purpose neglected off the dots.

1031
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. She and three cult members showed up at my

1032
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: house in robes, chanting outside for two hours until my

1033
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 2: neighbor called the cop.

1034
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 1: Well why didn't you call the cops? Now?

1035
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 2: My mom was saying I disrespected Emily's spiritual journey and

1036
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 2: that Waffles is technically her soul property.

1037
00:44:56,239 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: Am I the a hole? Genuinely? If this is a true,

1038
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 1: cut those people out of your life immediately, because this

1039
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 1: is dangerous and scary.

1040
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 2: This is from our subreddit.

1041
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 3: Get out of there.

1042
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 1: Well cut them off.

1043
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:10,240
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean.

1044
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 2: Take waffles and really take waffles.

1045
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:12,359
Speaker 1: Cut them off.

1046
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have an update.

1047
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:13,879
Speaker 1: Oh boy.

1048
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 5: Three days later.

1049
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 2: Wow, did not expect this to blow up. Waffles is

1050
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 2: doing great. Yay, he's on antibiotics and he loves his

1051
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 2: new chew toy. As for Emily, things got even weirder.

1052
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 2: How I got a certified letter yesterday. It was on

1053
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 2: holographic paper, not a joke, and signed by the Council of.

1054
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 1: Eight Are these people?

1055
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 2: It said, I have seven days to return the vessel

1056
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 2: or they'll initiate vibrational reckoning.

1057
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 1: Is this an episode of Doctor Who?

1058
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 3: I would test you like? I want to know what

1059
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 3: that is.

1060
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 2: And then Waffles starts just vibrating and spinning in circles.

1061
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 4: He's like levitating off the.

1062
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: Ground and he's like, how oh p you have saved

1063
00:45:56,520 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 1: me from my reckoning. Yeah, I got you power, you

1064
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 1: get three witches.

1065
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 4: Ope, and you are so rich to me.

1066
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,240
Speaker 1: For us, we are connected forever.

1067
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 3: Whenever the bridge has been confirmed and connected. Baboo, we

1068
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 3: are now spiritually connected.

1069
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 2: My lawyers said it's nonsense but also kind of threatening.

1070
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a threat.

1071
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 6: Many Oh to those people, they don't care what a

1072
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 6: lawyer says.

1073
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, man, they don't. They don't care about ithe

1074
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:24,800
Speaker 1: the words of ithlely beings.

1075
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 3: He wears a suit. Gross.

1076
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 2: I also found out their compound is an Arabian b

1077
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:31,840
Speaker 2: they've just been squatting it.

1078
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 1: Maybe they're just like really method LARPers.

1079
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: I want to see the source material that they're LARPing.

1080
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,479
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the actual owner showed up and guess what,

1081
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 2: he's now also in the group.

1082
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,800
Speaker 1: I can't make this up. I hope you're not, because

1083
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: this is.

1084
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 3: Insane, this is trippy, this is really cool.

1085
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 2: This is insane, And guys, we have another update one

1086
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 2: week later.

1087
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god get into it, okay, please. Apparently Emily

1088
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: and Co.

1089
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 2: Tried to astrally project into my home to get lawfuls back.

1090
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 3: I'd be like, break it to your house.

1091
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,399
Speaker 2: No, that's in the dream realm.

1092
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I know what huh?

1093
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:08,280
Speaker 1: Were they gonna like steal his soul?

1094
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 2: I think they were gonna actually project in and galofless

1095
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 2: unlock the door.

1096
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 1: It's like that scene and the Caribbean when they're like

1097
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: like have like trying to get a bone to get

1098
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 1: the keys from the dog, but it's like them with

1099
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,879
Speaker 1: an astral bone and the dogs like that's not even

1100
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 1: a real bone.

1101
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 2: All that happened was my Alexa started playing pan flute

1102
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:29,240
Speaker 2: music at three am?

1103
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 1: Why weird? Really weird?

1104
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 2: Though? Why is that really weird?

1105
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,840
Speaker 1: I'd be so freaked out if they said I'm astral

1106
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,319
Speaker 1: projecting into your house to steal my dog and then

1107
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 1: pan flute music started playing. If one, make sure your

1108
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:44,720
Speaker 1: alex is not connected?

1109
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, ones, because they can be, and then you can

1110
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: like make things play on them. If not, though, weird, baby,

1111
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 2: their is leg I'm like.

1112
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 1: Loki Loki, I'm joining the colt lokey mean woffles. We're

1113
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,360
Speaker 1: gonna be testing something like Loki and Wobble have a

1114
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,320
Speaker 1: soul connection and we're starting your uncle.

1115
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,400
Speaker 2: I've officially filed a restraining water. Emily left me a

1116
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:10,280
Speaker 2: voicemail crying, saying I've fractured her cosmic timeline.

1117
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:11,919
Speaker 1: I love her, but she needs help.

1118
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also that says that Waffles may have been microdose

1119
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 2: with psychedelic substances.

1120
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 5: Via his tofu.

1121
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 2: Oh my god, so animal cruelty charges may be incoming.

1122
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 1: Please do that.

1123
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 2: There is just a little tanny bit left.

1124
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 1: Oh boy, let's hit it. I have no advice for

1125
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,479
Speaker 1: you other than cut these people out of your life

1126
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 1: and file charges.

1127
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 2: And look into the pan flute music, and look into

1128
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 2: the pan flue music.

1129
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:37,919
Speaker 1: Why did that happen?

1130
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 2: To make sure your Alex is not connected to anyone.

1131
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 3: You've been having weird dreams.

1132
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's happening in your dream?

1133
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 3: What's happening in your house?

1134
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 2: Those Waffles feeling at three am? Is he vibrating and

1135
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 2: levitating in a circle off the ground?

1136
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 1: Does he go molder? Please?

1137
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 2: You must finish the sole connection with me at tudoy.

1138
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 2: Now Emily has left the ground I was expecting. Turns

1139
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 2: out Sta Daddy was arrested for tax fraud.

1140
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,280
Speaker 1: Classic Colt Vibes.

1141
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 2: And moon Drip was actually named Steve. An had a

1142
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 2: warrant out in Idaho. She's back home, detoxing from the

1143
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 2: substances and agreed Waffles should stay with me until she's stable.

1144
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 1: Okay.

1145
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 2: She's also apologizing a lot. She said she realized things

1146
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 2: got out of hand when she saw her robe bill

1147
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,320
Speaker 2: was three hundred dollars. She's starting therapy.

1148
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 1: Thank you read it.

1149
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 2: Waffles and I are safe, happy, and substance free.

1150
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 1: Great. That was insane. That was an insane story.

1151
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 2: I did not expect that to resolve.

1152
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 1: So lovely turn twistens turns everywhere and a great resolution. Yeah.

1153
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 2: Can we still inquire about pan flute?

1154
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 1: I need to know because we glossed over that. We

1155
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:50,399
Speaker 1: glossed over the fact that it kind of worked. We're

1156
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 1: not going to gloss over comments from the video. My

1157
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: husband refused to play Barbie Dolls with our son, which

1158
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: I remember. I remember this Posted November tw third, twenty

1159
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 1: twenty five. Tildarres Opi is a very anxious, introverted mom

1160
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 1: who struggles to let her eighteen year old daughter have

1161
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 1: a social life. And this is the third story from

1162
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 1: that episode. She keeps strict rules, lectures her, and tries

1163
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: to control her, which has pushed her daughter away. Her

1164
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: older daughter stayed more compliant, but the younger one is

1165
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 1: growing independent and assertive. Opie realizes she messed up and

1166
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 1: is trying to understand why her kids act so differently,

1167
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 1: but her attempts at control may have caused lasting damage.

1168
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:29,839
Speaker 1: If you're curious to know the full story, you can

1169
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: go watch the full video.

1170
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 6: Yes, that was what our special guest daniel Ahern a

1171
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 6: very good therapist and very very cool tattoos.

1172
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:38,839
Speaker 1: There is a similar story then.

1173
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 6: Comment number one by willow Fire. Willow Fire says, as

1174
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,320
Speaker 6: a parent, the best way to keep your children safe

1175
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 6: is to educate them, Expose them to the world, give

1176
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 6: them coping mechanisms, and teach them how to protect themselves

1177
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 6: and have a good time responsibly. Both mine are now adults.

1178
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 6: They still come to me with all their problems and

1179
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 6: tell me things that most people would feel uncomfortable with

1180
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 6: discus with their own parents. That's because I talk to them,

1181
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 6: give my best advice, and send them on their way.

1182
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 6: I'm super proud of them both. I'm not always a

1183
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 6: big fan of the choices they make. They're not perfect,

1184
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 6: but then neither am I. Actually I need to correct that.

1185
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 6: In my eyes, they are perfect.

1186
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 3: Now.

1187
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 6: I love them unconditionally, but I don't always agree with

1188
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 6: their choices. However, I was young once, and goodness knows,

1189
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 6: I've made some crappy decisions in my day.

1190
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,320
Speaker 3: Lol.

1191
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 6: Not saying I'm a perfect mom, but in this aspect,

1192
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 6: I am reaping the rewards. So in that aspect, I

1193
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 6: think I did well.

1194
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 1: Ah, yeah, I think that's a point. Great. You just

1195
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 1: have to let your kids like make their own mistakes

1196
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 1: at a certain point guarded life experience. You can advise

1197
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 1: them up until a certain point, yeah, and then you

1198
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,399
Speaker 1: just kind of have to hope that they've learned from

1199
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 1: what you've taught them.

1200
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 2: And when I say guarded, I only mean in the

1201
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 2: sense of like a very dangerous situation.

1202
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you can let them make the other.

1203
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,919
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I've met a lot of people who were

1204
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 6: so sheltered that it made them want to do more CRS.

1205
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 1: Absolutely, people people want a yeah, they want to rebel.

1206
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 6: There's a there's a perfect balance. And I think that

1207
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 6: that commentary did really well. But again, that's it's you.

1208
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 6: You guide your children not or some or put them

1209
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:11,879
Speaker 6: on their path. It's like it's their path, they'll figure

1210
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 6: it out, but.

1211
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 1: No one knows how to parent.

1212
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,799
Speaker 6: You know perfectly, there's books in everything, and you'd research it,

1213
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 6: but it's like.

1214
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:18,880
Speaker 1: You never know how your child's going to react to

1215
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: that exactly.

1216
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 6: You know, it's it's tough Hannah Joan or Hannah Joanne

1217
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:26,240
Speaker 6: either or it sounds like Opie's mom has agoraphobia, basically

1218
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 6: the fear of anything outside of your world.

1219
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 1: It does sound like that in that story.

1220
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 6: I remember, Yeah, we all remember, like whoa, there's an

1221
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 6: influencer who has suffered from it to the point she

1222
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,720
Speaker 6: didn't live her leave her house for a long while.

1223
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 6: She was recently talking about how she has developed it

1224
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,360
Speaker 6: with her phone now where she gets scared of seeing

1225
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 6: or hearing something bad, so she hasn't been on it

1226
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 6: or even responded to people near as much.

1227
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: Dang.

1228
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 6: I can personally relate to both Opie's mom and said influencer,

1229
00:52:51,239 --> 00:52:54,320
Speaker 6: but I know that it's not a healthy or realistic lifestyle,

1230
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,760
Speaker 6: especially with a child. Yeah, our personal problems and triggers

1231
00:52:57,840 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 6: are not for others to fix or commodate to.

1232
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,359
Speaker 1: You have to learn to overcome the traumas that you've

1233
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 1: experienced for the safer kids.

1234
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it's also just like a not a

1235
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 6: leap of faith, but it's like you gotta put more

1236
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:09,399
Speaker 6: faith in them.

1237
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, you do. You have to trust your children to learn.

1238
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 6: And I know the world is scary, but you can't

1239
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 6: just hide them from the world.

1240
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1241
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:19,399
Speaker 6: And we have another comment here by Amber Apathy six.

1242
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,800
Speaker 6: Amber says, as someone with the mother who tried to

1243
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 6: keep me at home with her, that woman is trying

1244
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 6: to control everything. She doesn't like the way her daughter

1245
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 6: is acting because she isn't sitting down and allowing her

1246
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 6: mother to dictate everything she does. The one good thing

1247
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:36,280
Speaker 6: she did was realize this was her fault. I agree

1248
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 6: egh V three X. I love the psychologists episodes great. Yeah,

1249
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:42,759
Speaker 6: we love them too.

1250
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 5: We like them.

1251
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 6: I truly feel like they give great advice and I'm

1252
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:48,720
Speaker 6: starting to learn a lot. Keep up the great work, y'all.

1253
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1254
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 5: Yeah he was really chill.

1255
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 1: He was awesome.

1256
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 6: Yeah, I liked him really chill guy.

1257
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1258
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 1: That is the end of those comments and the end

1259
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,359
Speaker 1: of this episode. So if you love us, make sure

1260
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 1: to subscribe.

1261
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,919
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow,