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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: I think leaving on good terms to the extent possible

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Speaker 2: is always to your benefit because you never know when

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Speaker 2: you might need that farmer, bough or former colleague later

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Speaker 2: on down the line.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheirspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 3: women like you You ho Doctor Dominique Broussard, a college

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Speaker 3: professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 4: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 4: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 4: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 4: five roids to fake friends, and create a safe space

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Speaker 4: where black women can just b.

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Speaker 3: Hey, lady is doctor dom Here From the Cultivating her

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Speaker 3: Space podcast are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 3: of California in contemplating starting your therapy journey. Well, if so,

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Speaker 3: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brussard dot com.

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Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 3: U E B R O U ss ar D dot

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Speaker 3: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

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Speaker 3: forward to hearing from you.

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Speaker 2: Our quote of the day. When black women are able

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Speaker 2: to quit a thing, it typically can be attributed to

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Speaker 2: at least four causes. She was invited to do a

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Speaker 2: job that was impossible for her to be successful, as

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Speaker 2: she is disrespected her work and be value which is

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Speaker 2: a form of disrespect, or she is simply tired of fighting.

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Speaker 2: That quote comes to us from doctor Wendy S william

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Speaker 2: who was a guest on our show, reclaiming your Power

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Speaker 2: in the Workplace. Now, for the folks in the back

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Speaker 2: that I know that was a lot, I'm gonna read

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Speaker 2: our quote of the day one more turn. When black

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Speaker 2: women are able to quit a thing, it typically can

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Speaker 2: be attributed to at least four causes. She was invited

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Speaker 2: to do a job that it's impossible for her to

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Speaker 2: be successful at she is disrespected her work is devalued,

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Speaker 2: which is another form of disrespect, or she is simply

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Speaker 2: tired of fighting. Now see, at the time of the

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Speaker 2: recording of this episode, I feel like part of that

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Speaker 2: quote could be applied to multiple areas of a black

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Speaker 2: woman's life besides her job. But today our focus is

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Speaker 2: on the workplace. So when you hear this quote, what

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Speaker 2: comes up for you?

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Speaker 4: Well, one of the things that I'm thinking about, Don,

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Speaker 4: is I'm actually I'm looking at the quote as you

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Speaker 4: asked me the question. I like, how one lady go

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Speaker 4: check out that episode. It's season twenty, episode three with

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Speaker 4: doctor Wendy Williams. That episode was so bombed. Again, She's

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Speaker 4: so insightful and so Don. I'm looking at the way

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Speaker 4: she framed this when black women are able to quit

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Speaker 4: a thing. I think she was just very intentional with

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Speaker 4: her words there, because I think about my relationship to quitting,

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Speaker 4: and when I was younger, one of my mentors used

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Speaker 4: to always say, have the spirit of a finisher, like

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Speaker 4: whatever you start, you finished, And I think I adopted

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Speaker 4: that for so long, but I think it's a certain

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Speaker 4: part in my at a certain point my journey. That

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Speaker 4: mindset didn't serve many longer. Like there were times where

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Speaker 4: if I started a book, even if I didn't like it,

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Speaker 4: I would just go through it and read it. But

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Speaker 4: I think now, because my time is different, the time

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Speaker 4: that I have is different, I'm in a different space

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Speaker 4: in my career, I will quit something with a quickness

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Speaker 4: and it wasn't that way before. And so I think that, yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's important for us to just consider, like, what's my

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Speaker 4: relationship to quitting? So, lady, even as you listen, like

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Speaker 4: what's your relationship to quitting? Where you taught that you

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Speaker 4: shouldn't quit anything? Or are you just like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 4: just I feel like there's a balance, right. Some people

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Speaker 4: just quit every goddamn thing, but they start somethingting this.

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Speaker 2: I don't like working out this one day, I'm just quit.

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Speaker 4: And so what about you, don what is your perspective

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Speaker 4: on quitting in and what do you think about the quote?

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Speaker 5: Well?

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Speaker 2: I love this quote. I love doctor Rings like she's

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Speaker 2: just phenomenal. I think this quote and this idea of

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Speaker 2: quitting is a complex one, and but I think that

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Speaker 2: the causes that she pointed out are so important for

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Speaker 2: us to remember, right that and this, for me, I

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Speaker 2: feel like this quote is really specific to black women.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 2: That often turns we get in positions that they set

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Speaker 2: us up to be to not be successful from the beginning, right,

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Speaker 2: Like they set it up from the very beginning for

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Speaker 2: us to be like the first cause, like it's impossible

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Speaker 2: for us to be successful at it. Right. But I

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Speaker 2: think I want to go back to that first part

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Speaker 2: of the quote that you mentioned, that of being able

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Speaker 2: to quit in some respects that kind of the privilege,

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Speaker 2: because I think that there are some situations in which

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Speaker 2: black women are fired wrongfully and aren't given the option

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Speaker 2: to quit, or their life circumstances are such that quitting

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Speaker 2: would need a larger sacrifice in terms of their household

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Speaker 2: people that are preached, and so the option to quit

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Speaker 2: is a privilege. And so I think those are the

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Speaker 2: things that I that I think about in as where

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Speaker 2: about this conversation, Like I want to acknowledge that for

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Speaker 2: some of us, there are times when we are in

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Speaker 2: difficult work situations, but the financial needs that we have.

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Speaker 3: We're unable to walk away when we really need to, Yes,

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Speaker 3: because our financial situation outweighs what we're dealing with.

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Speaker 2: That work girl, girl, girl, you got to go ahead.

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Speaker 2: That is so true. That is such a great point,

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Speaker 2: and I think that really emphasizes what doctor Wendy was saying,

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Speaker 2: which he was very intentional with those words of black

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Speaker 2: women aren't people. So gla, let's get into the tea, Like,

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Speaker 2: what is your story about quitting?

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Speaker 4: I have two in mind, and one is like a

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Speaker 4: positive quitting situation where like I ended on a high note.

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Speaker 4: I did both in a high note. But the other

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Speaker 4: one is like a terrible work situation. So what is

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Speaker 4: your story and I'll share my life I have.

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Speaker 2: So I think I was thinking of my employment history

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Speaker 2: over the years, and like before I became a psychologist,

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Speaker 2: and so there's a couple of situations where like I

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Speaker 2: quit and it was for a good reason, Like you know,

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Speaker 2: when I was in undergrad, finishing up, finishing undergrad and

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Speaker 2: moving to start grading school, I quit my job at

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Speaker 2: the hotel I was working with, and that was like

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Speaker 2: because I had to, Like I'm moving away to go

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Speaker 2: to graduate school, like I can't do but I'm not.

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Speaker 2: It's commuting between two states. That's not happening. And so

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Speaker 2: I think about those situations. I think about when I

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Speaker 2: quit my first job, like first never job working at

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Speaker 2: basket Robbins, like, and because I was in college and

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Speaker 2: was like, I need to be making more money or

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Speaker 2: they ain't paying it helpful, And so I think about

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Speaker 2: those early jobs before I started my career. But then

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Speaker 2: I also think about when I left positions within my

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Speaker 2: career and all of those all of those times were

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Speaker 2: on me, like I chose to quit, right, And I

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Speaker 2: think about where I was in the moment of quitting,

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Speaker 2: and hindsight is twenty twenty. And so one job I

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Speaker 2: quit because I was moving. Actually both jobs I quit

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Speaker 2: because I was moving, And so the both jobs that

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking about I quit because I was wounding. But

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Speaker 2: I also think about when I look at those jobs

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Speaker 2: in trying site, and I recognize where I was in

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Speaker 2: those jobs, like the level of stress in each of

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Speaker 2: those jobs. Yeah, and am grateful that the moves happened

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Speaker 2: when they did, because I probably was going to be

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Speaker 2: quit needing to quit sooner paths or like in the

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Speaker 2: very near future. It was gonna be inevitable that it

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Speaker 2: had to happen like soon. And well, I'll share more

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Speaker 2: as we go through the episode. But what about for

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Speaker 2: ut So you say there were two, there were two,

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Speaker 2: but I just wanted to say to you, it's always

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Speaker 2: nice when you can sort of.

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Speaker 4: You can own the narrative, like you quit before, like

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Speaker 4: something must have saw the writing on the wall and

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Speaker 4: you were like, oh, let's go ahead and put that

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Speaker 4: resignation letter in shout.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you. Okay. So this one, I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to say the name, but if anyone knows me,

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Speaker 2: they may know the situation and what institution I was at. So,

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Speaker 2: girl I was working.

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Speaker 4: I did the hall director path for grad school, right,

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Speaker 4: So became a residence director, managing a residence hall, and

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Speaker 4: they for my grad school. And so this is actually

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Speaker 4: outside of this is my first job outside of grad school.

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Speaker 4: And so I was a hall director and they were

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Speaker 4: paying for my housing. I had a meal plan. It

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Speaker 4: was a really great setup, living in a nice big city.

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Speaker 4: And what had happened was I think this was in

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Speaker 4: the beginning of my tenure in the role. I came

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Speaker 4: home one night into my apartment and my job lived alone,

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Speaker 4: you know, doing my thing in the big city, and

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Speaker 4: I'm walking into my apartment. I opened my door and boom,

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Speaker 4: somebody just jumps out of my closet and they're like boom,

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Speaker 4: and then another person jumps out of the middle room

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Speaker 4: that I had, and these were two of my staff members.

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Speaker 4: Mind you, I'm brand news to this area. I don't

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Speaker 4: know these people like that, and so they jump out,

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Speaker 4: And at that point I was like, Okay, hell this,

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Speaker 4: Hell no, because I'm very particularly about my space, my privacy.

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Speaker 2: Goad, I see your face.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, hey lady, it's Terry here. I want to take

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Speaker 4: a moment to thank you for choosing to listen to

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Speaker 4: our podcast. We love you for real, and we want

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Speaker 4: to give you a chance to learn more about what's

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Speaker 4: important to us. So tell us what you think about this.

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Speaker 6: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 6: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your business,

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Speaker 6: brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine joining

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Speaker 6: our monthly virtual video check ins where you can connect

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Speaker 6: with like minded black women like you and share your

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Speaker 6: ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now, I

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Speaker 6: want you to imagine a world where you're in the

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Speaker 6: happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and or

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Speaker 6: personal wins.

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Speaker 4: How does that sound. Hopefully this is of your alley, lady,

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Speaker 4: get someone on one time with us. We also have

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Speaker 4: an option for you to donate on a one time

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Speaker 4: basis if that meets your need again her space podcast

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Speaker 4: dot com and you can click that link that says Patreon.

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Speaker 4: All right, lady, we'll hop right back into the conversation.

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Speaker 2: Ooh okay, Because at first I was like, oh shit,

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Speaker 2: you get robbed. But I think, Lord, thank God no,

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Speaker 2: but still like, but this is your prime and space.

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Speaker 2: But okay, okay, yeah, yes, no girl.

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Speaker 4: I was so I felt so violated because I just

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Speaker 4: anyone that knows me, everybody don't come to my crib,

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Speaker 4: like I don't let you know what I mean, Like,

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Speaker 4: I just don't let anyone into my space. And so

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Speaker 4: when these two student paraprofessionals did that, I was just

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Speaker 4: so I was so upset, like so so just scared

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Speaker 4: as well because I'm moving to a new place by myself.

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Speaker 4: So anyway, I ended up talking to my supervisor about it,

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Speaker 4: and they decided to, I guess, give them like a warning.

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Speaker 4: But ever since that particular situation, there were other instances

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Speaker 4: in that job where I was like, this just doesn't

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Speaker 4: feel like a good fit. So long story short, there

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Speaker 4: was a point midway in the role that I was like,

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Speaker 4: I want to leave so bad. I'm happy here because

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Speaker 4: I felt like people were like retaliating I gets to

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Speaker 4: you because I was holding the people accountable for breaking

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Speaker 4: into my space. And so what I ended up doing

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Speaker 4: was I struggled so much, but I held out for

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Speaker 4: a year. I did a full year in the role

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Speaker 4: because I was like, I wanted my resume to look

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Speaker 4: you know. I was very mindful of how my resume

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Speaker 4: our looks and not wanting to hop around to different positions.

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Speaker 4: And so I stayed there for a year and then

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Speaker 4: I was like, I got to go. So that was

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Speaker 4: the first situation, like not, I deal it all in

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Speaker 4: a very In some cases it felt like a toxic

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Speaker 4: work environment. The other situation was a very positive experience.

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Speaker 4: And I was working in tech in Silicon Valley and

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Speaker 4: I reached, I want to say sort of reached like

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Speaker 4: a pinnacle of success within this particular company. And I

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Speaker 4: was pregnant at the time with my first child, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, you know what, I want to leave

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Speaker 4: the job before I have the baby so I can

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Speaker 4: work on my side, hustle for a little bit, and

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Speaker 4: just have some time off. And so I ended up

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Speaker 4: leaving on a very high note because during the end

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Speaker 4: of the pregnancy, I was struggling and I was like,

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Speaker 4: I don't want my work to start to suffer. I

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Speaker 4: don't want them to fire me like I am struggling

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Speaker 4: right now. I'd rather just end on the high note,

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Speaker 4: focus on the things that I really want to focus on,

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Speaker 4: and put my energy into those projects.

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Speaker 2: And so that ended up working out well. So I

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Speaker 2: ended on a high note. Everyone was super supportive. It

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Speaker 2: was such an amazing experience and very different from the

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Speaker 2: first story I told. So those are my two situations.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think it's also there's a bunch

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Speaker 3: of stuff that was coming up for me, and I

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Speaker 3: think out some of the questions that we're going to

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Speaker 3: ask of our audience.

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Speaker 2: To ask themselves. Will I'll be able to ask of

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Speaker 2: you for your situation. But I think the thing that

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Speaker 2: I'm sitting with is with your second situation that you described,

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Speaker 2: like being able to end on a high note, right like, yes,

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Speaker 2: being able to end and have a good relationship with

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Speaker 2: the people that you and that you've ended with. I

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Speaker 2: think on me as I'm thinking with that, I think

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Speaker 2: I have been fortunate in that I when I any

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Speaker 2: place that I've left for whatever reason, it has been

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Speaker 2: on a high ye like it's been or maybe I

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Speaker 2: know this isn't the right word, but it's been on

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Speaker 2: good turns. There you go, that's important. Yeah, it's been

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Speaker 2: on good terms. And so, lady, as you think about

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Speaker 2: you're listening to us and you're like, yeah, I feel it,

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Speaker 2: I'm in this situation. We have a list of questions

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Speaker 2: that we're going to go through that you might want

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Speaker 2: to ask yourself to help you identify isn't it time

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Speaker 2: to quit? And lady, also, you might be listening right

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Speaker 2: now and you might be thinking, my job is cool.

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Speaker 2: I'm not you know, if not my love, I'm not

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Speaker 2: pansing it about it, but I'm here. Some of these

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Speaker 2: questions we might ask my have you thinking is it

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Speaker 2: time for me to walk away from this? So I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna start with the first question, are you burned out?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 2: We have we have episodes on burnout, but I think

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Speaker 2: it's important to really ask yourself like what does that

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Speaker 2: look like? Are like are you burned out? And what

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Speaker 2: does that really mean to be burned out?

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Speaker 4: And lady, you can literally just google Burnout her Space

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Speaker 4: podcast and you'll see the episode come up. So season nineteen,

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Speaker 4: episode four, Beating Burnout with Kelly Barner that was a

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Speaker 4: good episode too.

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Speaker 2: She killed that, Yes it was. Yes.

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Speaker 4: But one of the things when it comes to burnout

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Speaker 4: that I thought of as I saw this question was

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Speaker 4: one are you burned out? Where is the burnout coming from?

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Speaker 4: Because I know for me personally, sometimes it can come

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Speaker 4: from work, but a lot of time I can be

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Speaker 4: the facilitator of the burnout, Like I take on too much.

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Speaker 4: I don't have a great relationship with my work and

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Speaker 4: personal boundaries and stuff like that. So I think understanding too,

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Speaker 4: Like a sub question could be where's the burnout coming from?

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Speaker 2: Is it my job? Ye's me? And then we can

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Speaker 2: dig in a bit deeper there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's a good I think that's a

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Speaker 3: good question to really ask yourself because like I like

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Speaker 3: that sub question like where what is the origin of

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Speaker 3: the burnout?

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Speaker 2: Because I think about one role that I left and

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Speaker 2: because I was because of the way the situation was

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Speaker 2: set up. I was starting a new role and agreed

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Speaker 2: to still keep some pieces of the previous job as

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Speaker 2: I was starting in this new role, and I remember

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Speaker 2: like being hitting a point, like as it was coming

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Speaker 2: to an end, like hitting a point of being burned out,

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Speaker 2: and a lot of it was on me of like

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Speaker 2: me taking on a lot, and it was my decision

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Speaker 2: to take to have that transition in the way that

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Speaker 2: it did, but it did cost some burnout. And but

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Speaker 2: I also think back to another job that I had

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Speaker 2: where after I didn't like, I knew I was stressed,

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Speaker 2: like I knew things were like, it was intense, it

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Speaker 2: was a lot. Yeah, but I didn't fully recognize the

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Speaker 2: level of burnout until after I had left the situation.

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Speaker 2: Oh and so, oh, go ahead, you have a question now,

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna ask you. Did you realize it after

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Speaker 2: the fact, because was it one of those situations where

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Speaker 2: you were like, oh, I'm not burnt out now, Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I was just burnt out, Like you realized

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Speaker 2: it after the fact because you didn't feel it anymore,

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Speaker 2: so you were able to sort of compare. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's it.

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Speaker 3: I was like I was able to be I was

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Speaker 3: in a new role, and I was like, oh, maybe

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Speaker 3: I'm just excited about being in this little role. I'm

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Speaker 3: like not, yes, yes, and yes, I'm excited about being

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Speaker 3: in this new role.

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Speaker 2: And damn what I left. I was really burned out.

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Speaker 2: I was dealing with a lot more that I probably

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Speaker 2: did not need to be dealing with ooll chaw.

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Speaker 4: All right, lady, we're about to dig in deeper into

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Speaker 4: these question. So the next question is does this job

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Speaker 4: no longer bring you joy? And I feel like this

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Speaker 4: is an interesting one because some people have jobs that

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Speaker 4: they're excited about.

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Speaker 2: It brings some joy.

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Speaker 4: They are it's a passion, right, and then some other

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Speaker 4: people have jobs where you're like, baby, this is my

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Speaker 4: dream funder, right, and that's what most of my I

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Speaker 4: feel most of my jobs have then like dream funders

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Speaker 4: work this right, here is funding my dream outside of work.

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Speaker 4: And so I think that if you're in a situation

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Speaker 4: where your job is your dream funder, if you can

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Speaker 4: find moments or opportunities to add joy to it, I

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Speaker 4: think that could be really helpful, whether it's like a

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Speaker 4: passion project at work that you know, correlates with a

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Speaker 4: business objective or something that's important to the company.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like there's a sub question here. It's

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Speaker 2: like does this job no longer bring you joy?

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Speaker 4: It's an opportunity to add more joy because sometimes it's

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Speaker 4: like you gotta do what you do to pay the bills.

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Speaker 4: So if I'm going to be here anyway, I might

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Speaker 4: as well figure out how I can make it more

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Speaker 4: enjoyable for myself.

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Speaker 2: Right, what do you think, Tom, Yeah, I think it's

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Speaker 2: a good It's a good question to ask yourself, mainly

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Speaker 2: because when we think about it, if you're working a

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Speaker 2: full time job, you were working most of us working

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Speaker 2: a full time job. I understand what a full time

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Speaker 2: job is that a minimum of thirty two hours a week.

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Speaker 2: And so now the reality is most of us working

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Speaker 2: a full time job are giving way more than thirty

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Speaker 2: two hours a week.

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Speaker 3: And so.

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Speaker 2: Thirty two hours thirty two plus out hours a week

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Speaker 2: in the course of a week, that's a lot of hours.

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Speaker 2: You are giving a lot of your trying to your job.

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Speaker 3: And so.

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Speaker 2: If this thing that you're doing that you're giving so

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Speaker 2: much of your trying too, is no longer bringing you

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Speaker 2: join and you're not and you're clear that like this

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Speaker 2: is not my you know, I'm I'm not using this

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Speaker 2: as my dream funder, So like I really need to

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Speaker 2: be getting some joy out of Bens, and you're no

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Speaker 2: longer getting there, it's time to walk away. And so

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Speaker 2: then I think that takes us to our third question.

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Speaker 2: Some people, lady, this might be you clutching your pearls

405
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Speaker 2: on this one. Has your health been negatively affected? I

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Speaker 2: think a lot of times we experience health issues and

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Speaker 2: don't recognize that the cause of it is stressed. And

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Speaker 2: where's the stress coming from? Where we're spending thirty two

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Speaker 2: plus hours a week our job and so and how

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Speaker 2: your health is being negatively affected. There's levels to it,

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Speaker 2: there's a spectrum.

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Speaker 4: But.

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Speaker 2: Your physical health is important. If you don't have your health,

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Speaker 2: you won't be here. And maybe your value system might

415
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Speaker 2: be set up differently. But to me, no job is

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Speaker 2: worked my health not at all. It's just not. And

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Speaker 2: so you need to and you want to ask yourself

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Speaker 2: like is your health being negatively affected by this work

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Speaker 2: that you're doing? And the next question is have you

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Speaker 2: lost your work life balance?

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Speaker 4: Okay, lady. So when you think about establishing work life

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Speaker 4: balance right, sometimes that requires us to change and no

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Speaker 4: matter how uncomfortable that may be, we got this, We

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Speaker 4: can do it. It also gives us an opportunity to

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Speaker 4: focus on working to live instead of living to work, right,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna say that one more time. It gives us

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Speaker 4: an opportunity to focus on working to live versus living

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Speaker 4: to work. And as we're striving for balance, we may

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Speaker 4: find ourselves exploring things we haven't done before. For example,

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Speaker 4: you might want to explore Field. That's fee ld and

431
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Speaker 4: Field is a dating app for the curious. Radical transformation

432
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Speaker 4: is so common on Field that there's a term for it,

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Speaker 4: and they call it the Field effect.

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Speaker 3: Now y'all know, as person working in academia, I love

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Speaker 3: a good new term, new theory, and the statistics to

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00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 3: back it up. So let me get into these facts.

437
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 3: Sixty two percent of Field members evolve their sexuality interests

438
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 3: and desires within their first year on the app. One

439
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 3: hundred and eighty one thousand people change their sexuality within

440
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 3: their first year on Field. Fifty seven percent of those

441
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 3: who change their sexuality become less straight, and fifty eight

442
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 3: percent of people became more curious about GGG, good Giving

443
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 3: and gain. Not to know what that is, you got

444
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:45,880
Speaker 3: to check out the app to find out for sure.

445
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 3: Why do so many stories of transformation run through the

446
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 3: Field community. Well, whether it's online or in real life,

447
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 3: this space draws open minded people. It's this openness that

448
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 3: we also see in the spects. One in two people

449
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 3: on Field have a kink. Eighty percent of people believe

450
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 3: good things come in threes, as in MMFs, FFMs, mfms,

451
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 3: and mmms. And to be specific, this means male male

452
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 3: female female female male, and you get the idea. More

453
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 3: than half of straight people are chatting with people who aren't.

454
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 4: So, Lady, if you're not entirely sure, if you ever questioned, wondered,

455
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 4: or fantasized, field is the place where you freely explore

456
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 4: your desires. It's where you don't have to know. It's

457
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 4: where you can be open to finding out and in

458
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 4: the process finding your USU, just as so many other

459
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 4: members of the community have. So, Lady, download Field today,

460
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 4: check it out, see what's there, and have fun.

461
00:27:55,760 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 2: You know that work life balancing is hard, and I

462
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 2: think for me over the last few years that's something

463
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 2: that I've been working on, like what are the things

464
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 2: that I can do outside of work that bring me joy?

465
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 2: And you and I have talked about this, like where

466
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 2: can I find and you just mentioned it earlier too,

467
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 2: like where can you find joy in the work that

468
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 2: you do? So that and then also how do you

469
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 2: recognize like how do you hit the scales so that

470
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: there is balance and recognizing that there are seasons as well,

471
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: like there might be points where, depending on your field,

472
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 2: there are seasons like there's a point in the year

473
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 2: where work is heavier, and so that means that things

474
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 2: might be a little bit more stressful. You might be

475
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 2: spending a little bit more time doing work thing then

476
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 2: you would like to or then you know you would

477
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 2: really want to.

478
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 3: And then there are other times where work is a

479
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 3: lot lighter mm hm, and you have more warm take vacation,

480
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 3: And let me be clear, even when things are happening,

481
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 3: you can still take vacation, and it's still important to

482
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 3: take vacation.

483
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 4: Hey girl, Hey, we hope you're enjoying this conversation as

484
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Speaker 4: much as we are. But let's be real, it costs

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Speaker 7: When listening to dipsy stories, you're immersed in a vivid

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531
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Speaker 4: her space. Let's get back into it.

544
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 2: But there may be points in the workflow where it's

545
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 2: easier to take more time.

546
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 3: All and.

547
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 2: You have space two. Okay, I'm going to take two

548
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: days off this week just because right or I and

549
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,959
Speaker 2: I can walk and I can take that time off

550
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 2: and not feel guilty, because Lady, I know we have

551
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 2: both moments when we take vacation and we feel guilty

552
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 2: about taking our vacation because we know that there's a

553
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 2: lot going on. Take that vacation. Whether you feel guilty

554
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 2: or take that vacation, but I think finding that asking

555
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 2: yourself like, is that work life balance really gone? M hm.

556
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 2: And that's a good point.

557
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 4: And I know we talked about field like if you're

558
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 4: going to use feeling, you're going to embarkling your dating journey.

559
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 4: I think that's a great way to also facilitate work

560
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 4: life balance.

561
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 2: As we share.

562
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 4: But I would say, and another thing I want to

563
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 4: add down is, I know what has worked really well

564
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 4: for me is just using my calendar, So looking at

565
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 4: the month in addience before things start to fill up,

566
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 4: and girl, just think about, Okay, we're the things I

567
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 4: really enjoy doing, whether it's hanging out with your girlfriends,

568
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 4: whether it's going for you know, going to the nail shop,

569
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 4: getting a massage, whatever it is, and ask some of

570
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 4: that stuff into your calendar.

571
00:34:58,680 --> 00:34:59,720
Speaker 2: I live by my calendar.

572
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,439
Speaker 4: Every thing is on the calendar because that's the best

573
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 4: way for me to ensure that the things that are

574
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:04,760
Speaker 4: important happen.

575
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 2: So just wanted to add that there.

576
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 4: And then we're going to dive into the next few

577
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 4: questions lady, and then we're going to share some strategies

578
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 4: to help you quit that job.

579
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 2: Okay, So the next question, are you compromising your ethic

580
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 2: values or integrity now listen, if you're out here at

581
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 2: in this job doing things that go against your value,

582
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 2: it's probably time to walk away. Because my guess is

583
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: if you'll if you are engaging in something, particularly if

584
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 2: you're engaging in something that's illegal or not or unethical,

585
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 2: chances are it'll catch up to you. Mh. And so

586
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 2: you want to be mindful, particularly being legal thought. You

587
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: want to be mindful because just because somebody else is

588
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 2: doing it and they haven't gotten caught, doesn't mean that

589
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: you won't get caught. And what's going to happen when

590
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 2: you get caught. We know that the system is not

591
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 2: just for us.

592
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 3: And so.

593
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 2: You want to ask yourself, am I doing these that

594
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 2: are going against my values, my ethics, my integrity? Am

595
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 2: I doing something that if you have a job that

596
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: requires or likes like, are you doing something that can

597
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 2: have you lose your license?

598
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 1: Like?

599
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:46,359
Speaker 2: This is your livelihood? And if you are, maybe it's

600
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 2: time to walk away. A man to that gun.

601
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 4: That takes us to our next question, lady, which is

602
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,400
Speaker 4: are you being harassed or threatened? I think that question

603
00:36:56,640 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 4: is pretty pretty self explanatory there. I mean, if you

604
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 4: don't feel safe, if it's a toxic work environment, it

605
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 4: just might be time to figure out how do you

606
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 4: navigate out of that situation? Right?

607
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 2: Yes, and I think this, I think that question can

608
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 2: tie into the next question, do you feel psychologically, emotionally

609
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 2: or physically unfaith And this can be tough to navigate

610
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 2: right because I think about as particularly for us as

611
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 2: black women, right there are spacements where we are being

612
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 2: targeted or being mistreated because we are black women, and

613
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:50,879
Speaker 2: sometimes it's not direct. And you want to make sure

614
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 2: that you're if you're in a space that you're in

615
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 2: a work environment where you don't feel safe and you

616
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 2: don't feel safe to eat, then reported. So, as far

617
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 2: as I know, most places that have an HR department,

618
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 2: you should be able to go and report any type

619
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 2: of mistreatment without retaliation. And I also know that it

620
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 2: doesn't always work that way, even though that might be

621
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 2: the policy exactly. And so lady, if you are in

622
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 2: a situation like that, it's turn to have an explain

623
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 2: because you cannot do your job effectively and then your

624
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 2: health will become negatively affected exactly if you don't feel safe.

625
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 2: And like you said earlier, don we spend most of

626
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 2: our time those of us with full time jobs, like,

627
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 2: we spend most of our time there, so it's like

628
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,800
Speaker 2: a relationship. You want to be happy, fulfilled and be

629
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: having a positive experience. And so, lady, the last question

630
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 2: that you should consider is have you accomplished all of

631
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 2: your goals and is there no room for growth or promotion? Now,

632
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 2: I would say this question here. I think before you

633
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 2: ask this question, you should probably ask yourself what is

634
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 2: the purpose of this job, because this job might be

635
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 2: again your dream funder right, so you might appreciate if

636
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 2: you're like, uh, I'm not really trying to grow in

637
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 2: this career. I just want a job that can give

638
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 2: me this money. So you really just be chilling at

639
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 2: work and then you can I know none of us

640
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 2: do this, but you can work on your side hustle

641
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 2: or your passion or your business while you're at work

642
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 2: because it's set up that way, right, Or is it

643
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 2: a situation where you're like, you know what, No, I'm

644
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 2: in the phase of my life where I'm really trying

645
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 2: to progress in my career. I have goals I want

646
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 2: to achieve. I want to get this promotion, I want

647
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 2: to go to the manager level, whatever it might be.

648
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 2: Then that may be a question that prompts you to move.

649
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,720
Speaker 4: If you're like there's no room for growth unless somebody

650
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 4: dies or something like I'm not going to be you know, promoter,

651
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 4: can't go to another role, you should consider that.

652
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 2: So a couple of things to think about when you

653
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 2: think about that question. Yep. And I think also within

654
00:39:54,880 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 2: that question sometimes I've seen it where there you've been

655
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 2: at you've been in the system where essentially what they

656
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 2: tell you is in order for you to grow, you

657
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 2: have to make a ladder room at a different company

658
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 2: in the same field.

659
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 4: Right.

660
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 2: So let's say that you are in a mid manager

661
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 2: level role at a company, right and at this point,

662
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 2: because like the higher level managers aren't going anywhere, there's

663
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 2: no role for you to be promoted like you, like

664
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 2: you said, you've done all the things that you need

665
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 2: to do right and but at but in order to

666
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 2: but you don't maybe have enough experience to qualify for

667
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 2: a manager role at a different company or at a

668
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 2: higher level manager role at a different company. What that

669
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 2: would mean is you make a lateral move so you're

670
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 2: still mid level manager at a new company that have

671
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 2: more room for you to learn and grow, so then

672
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 2: you'll be ready to take on a senior manners role.

673
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,359
Speaker 2: That makes sense. That is a good, good point too.

674
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 4: Okay, lady, we're going to jump into these strategies for

675
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 4: quitting and then we're going to head on over to

676
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 4: the after show. All right, So the first tip here

677
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 4: is consult with your mentors. I think this is so valuable,

678
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 4: don because I think a lot of times mentors one,

679
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 4: they're a bit more experienced than us, so they can

680
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:41,360
Speaker 4: provide a lot of value, wisdom, also fresh perspective on

681
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,800
Speaker 4: things that we may have missed or things that we

682
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,839
Speaker 4: may not be thinking about. And then the other thing

683
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 4: I'd say is usually when you have a mentor, again

684
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 4: they're more experienced. Instead of like calling your cousin or

685
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 4: your mom or someone who maybe isn't in your industry

686
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 4: and they just don't understand the politics or just how

687
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 4: things work in that field, it's great to have someone

688
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 4: who can add that, I want to say, appropriate perspectives. Yeah,

689
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:08,240
Speaker 4: and that perspective can also be super helpful too, because

690
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 4: they can ask you. They may end up asking some

691
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 4: of the questions that we act earlier, right that if

692
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 4: you haven't asked them already of yourself, your mentors usually

693
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 4: are going to ask some form of both questions to

694
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 4: help you really think through that decision. And so I

695
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 4: think the next thing, the next strategy is you're at

696
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 4: the point where you know, yeah, it's time to go.

697
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 2: So once you really are solid in your it's time

698
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 2: to go, you need to identify a timeline, right, and

699
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 2: that timeline is going to look different depending on your role,

700
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 2: depending on the context of the situation. So is it

701
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 2: you need to walk away now because maybe you're being

702
00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:01,399
Speaker 2: harassed or threatened and our safety is a huge concern here,

703
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 2: so we're like, I'm out now, right, Or is it

704
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 2: that you can take more time to find something new,

705
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 2: Or maybe you really are in a financial position that

706
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 2: you cannot afford.

707
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 3: To be without work, and so you need to identify

708
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 3: what's a reasonable timeline.

709
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 2: For you to find something new and leave this role.

710
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 2: Or maybe it's you need to you need to relocate,

711
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 2: like find a whole new city to be able to

712
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 2: do the work that you're doing, and so you need

713
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 2: trying to secure a new role, need trying to find

714
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 2: housing in that new place. So figure out what are

715
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:55,120
Speaker 2: the things that you need and then create your crimeline

716
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 2: from there, Like how long is it going to take

717
00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 2: you to get these things and also think with in

718
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,919
Speaker 2: that timeline some of what may impact your current line

719
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 2: and what are the policies in your job of quitting?

720
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: H right, do you have a requirement to give your

721
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 2: balls two weeks notice? That's typically the timeline, but most

722
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 2: some people, again depending on a circumstance, walk away right

723
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 2: away m hm. But other people, depending on a circumstance.

724
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 3: Gear months in advance so that the company has time

725
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 3: to find your replacements.

726
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 2: And even within that, thinking about your relationship with your

727
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 2: colleagues and how soon do you want to let them know?

728
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 4: Yes, because I feel like sometimes I know for me personally,

729
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 4: and lady, you're probably the same way. I feel like

730
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 4: most of us are like this where we're like, oh,

731
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 4: I just want to be considerate and I just want to,

732
00:44:57,920 --> 00:44:59,800
Speaker 4: you know, give them eno of notice. Maybe they is

733
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 4: so soon as you let them know, they're looking for

734
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 4: another Like they're trying to fill your role, they're trying

735
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 4: to backfill your position. So don't tell people that you

736
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 4: don't have a great rapport with or that you trust,

737
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 4: because people won't be talking. Y'all know, people be talking, okay,

738
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 4: So don't tell anyone if you're not sure that this

739
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,879
Speaker 4: is what you're going to do, and when you are sure,

740
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 4: make sure that you have everything else in order just

741
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,400
Speaker 4: in case they petty. Right, You never know how they're right,

742
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 4: depending on how the relationship is, they might be petty

743
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 4: and be.

744
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 2: Like, okay, well you can actually leave now.

745
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 4: I've actually heard of that happening to people down yes,

746
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 4: where they've been like okay, yeah, I want to put

747
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 4: my notice in. They're like, oh, actually you can leave now. Yeah,

748
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:35,439
Speaker 4: you can leave now. I try to be considerate. So yes,

749
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,399
Speaker 4: just make sure you look out for yourself first, because

750
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,280
Speaker 4: the companies are always going to look out for themselves first. Okay,

751
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,760
Speaker 4: so yes, but God for you boom.

752
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 3: Now.

753
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 4: Number three is get your financial house and order, so

754
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 4: your checkings, your savings, retirement insurance, your PTO, any sick

755
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 4: or vacation time that you may be able to cash in, like,

756
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 4: get everything in order first, and ideally, like, I know

757
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 4: this is not going to happen in every situation, but ideally,

758
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 4: you do want to make sure.

759
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 2: You have your next opportunity lined up. You want to

760
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 2: make sure you have something in place.

761
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 4: Because if you think about it, like your job gonna

762
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 4: start paying you when you quit, but the bills they're

763
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 4: gonna keep on coming, right, So just thinking about, Okay,

764
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 4: what am I gonna do so that you have something

765
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 4: to fall back on.

766
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's so important. And also paying attention

767
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:25,720
Speaker 2: to with your retirement, your insurance and your PCO thicker

768
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 2: vacation back through that into your time liste Like some

769
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:36,800
Speaker 2: companies have policy particularly around your insurance that like in

770
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 2: order to still use those benefits, like really to get

771
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 2: your benefits, you only have to work one day in

772
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 2: that month, right, So maybe it's you know what, I'm

773
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 2: not starting my knee job to December first, but let

774
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 2: me go ahead, and this current job says I only

775
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 2: have to work one day in the month, So let

776
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 2: me November first is my last day. Let me I

777
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 2: still have my full insurance through the month of November.

778
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,800
Speaker 2: I don't start the new role till Devember first. I

779
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,399
Speaker 2: have enough tamed up that I can take the whole

780
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,479
Speaker 2: whole rest of the month of November. All right, Jess,

781
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,839
Speaker 2: looking at what your vacation, eto, sick time, what those

782
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:28,759
Speaker 2: things are, because there are some companies where it's all

783
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 2: one pot and when when you leave, they get that back.

784
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:37,359
Speaker 2: Some companies they have to pay out your vacation tign

785
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:42,879
Speaker 2: your six time, but your vacation time, and so make

786
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 2: sure if that's the case, look at, Okay, well, how

787
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:51,320
Speaker 2: much of that vacation time do I have left? Do

788
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 2: I want that in the form of a check or

789
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 2: do I want that to be my time off? Like

790
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna use that patient time and say this

791
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 2: is my last day. So again, really look at your

792
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 2: financial house and get that in order. And as you're

793
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 2: doing that, that takes us to our next step, which

794
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 2: is to identify your next steps. Right, So really understanding

795
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 2: how much time off will you need in between ending

796
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 2: that job and maybe starting a new job. Maybe it's

797
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 2: securing a new job, or maybe it's not. Maybe you're

798
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 2: taking time, maybe you're taking time away from working period, right,

799
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 2: or maybe it's launching your visits. And so it might

800
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 2: be your strategy that Okay, I'm gonna this is I'm

801
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 2: gonna give myself three months to launch my business, and

802
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 2: depending on how successful my business is within those first

803
00:48:54,920 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 2: three months, I will then submit my resignation. So you

804
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 2: really want to be clear on what your next steps

805
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 2: need to be as part of that timeline as well.

806
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:14,279
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, and then the next one here is

807
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 4: submit an official resignation letter. Right, you want everything in

808
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 4: writing and think about this, lady. I feel like sometimes

809
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,399
Speaker 4: these can be intimidating. You can literally google or use

810
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 4: AI to kind of craft an outline for you and

811
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:26,919
Speaker 4: then you can kind of tweak it with the dates

812
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 4: and everything, but it's good to just have an in writing,

813
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 4: save it for yourself to get you're covered, so that

814
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 4: everyone's aware of what's happening, and you just cover all

815
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 4: your bases.

816
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 2: And I would say with that, you know, personally, I

817
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 2: think it's important to do both, to have a conversation,

818
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 2: have a conversation with your boss and then follow up

819
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 2: in writing. And I say this because you want to

820
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 2: if the situation permits to the gain, you be acknowledge

821
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,399
Speaker 2: that there are some situations that it is not that's

822
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 2: not safe for you to do so not healthy for

823
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 2: you to do. So I would say, make sure that

824
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 2: you have a conversation with your boss so that you're

825
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:20,839
Speaker 2: able to maintain that good relationship and leave on as

826
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 2: good terms as possible. Because that takes us to number six.

827
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 2: Our final strategy, right, which is provide feedback and or

828
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:41,319
Speaker 2: an exit interview and I think leaving on good terms

829
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 2: to that extent possible is always to your benefit because

830
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:51,760
Speaker 2: you never know when you might need that former boss

831
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,800
Speaker 2: or former colleague later on down the line.

832
00:50:56,480 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 5: Yes, and also depending on your field, if you are

833
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 5: in a field where there are very few black folks

834
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 5: doing what you do, mm hmm, that means that the

835
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 5: degrees of separation are basically non existent.

836
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:17,399
Speaker 2: Somebody knows everybody knows everybody, Yes, and so you want

837
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 2: to make sure that you're leaving on a good note.

838
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 2: So you want to make sure that if they ask

839
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 2: you to provide feedback, that you are as professional as possible.

840
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:34,439
Speaker 2: And Lady, I don't want to be queer. I don't

841
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 2: want to acknowledge that. We know that oftentimes, if we

842
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,800
Speaker 2: are in the put in this position where we are quitting,

843
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 2: going back to our quote of the day, if we

844
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 2: are put in a position where we are quitting because

845
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:51,800
Speaker 2: we have been undervalue or disrespected, we already know that

846
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 2: we want We may want to pop off, right. We

847
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 2: may want to read them fulfilled the filth that they are. Yes,

848
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 2: you know, we may want to However, were again the

849
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 2: communities are small, yes, lord, and so you want to

850
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 2: really be clear on what your intention and motivation though

851
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 2: in providing the feedback and or an exit interview, and

852
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 2: also think about your own capacity, because a lot of

853
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 2: times you're in these positions and you're deciding to quit

854
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 2: because you, like I said, been disrespected, been undervalue and

855
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 2: been used misused.

856
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 3: So if you provide the feedba that you know would

857
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:47,400
Speaker 3: benefit them, at that point, it almost feels like you

858
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 3: are doing the work for them.

859
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 2: Yes, that can help make someone else's experience better, right,

860
00:52:56,800 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 2: and depending on your situation, that is not your to do.

861
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,799
Speaker 2: But you were no longer an employee with them. There

862
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 2: you go.

863
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 4: That's a really good point, I would say, just to

864
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 4: kind of speak on what you just shared about the

865
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 4: degrees of separation.

866
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,919
Speaker 2: I just went to afrotech recently, right. I saw someone

867
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 2: who I went to grad school while I was in

868
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 2: grad school with almost a decade lord a decade ago.

869
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, decad it go? Can time be fly?

870
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 2: Decad ago?

871
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 4: I saw literally my old employer that I left like

872
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:27,920
Speaker 4: a few months ago at the beginning of the year.

873
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 4: I saw them there and they were trying to get

874
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 4: me back, like you got to come home because I

875
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 4: left on such a good note and have a positive

876
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 4: rapport with them. And so I literally saw people with

877
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 4: several different phases of my of my journey right all

878
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 4: in one space. And so, especially like Don said, when

879
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 4: you go to conferences, and especially with us being black folks,

880
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 4: you know, most of our industries, most of the industries

881
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:49,719
Speaker 4: that were in there aren't many of us, right, So

882
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 4: it's like people know, yeah, they know somebody that knows

883
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 4: somebody know you. Right. So just being mariterful of a

884
00:53:56,239 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 4: reputation and if you feel inclined to go off, just

885
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 4: journal and talk to your therapist about it. Yeah, and

886
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 4: just try to be as professional and non emotional and

887
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 4: objective as possible when you're giving feedback. So lady, real quick,

888
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 4: we're going to do a quick recap and then Domina

889
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 4: are going to jump into the after show to share

890
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:14,880
Speaker 4: some additional tips and maybe some more teats. You got

891
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,480
Speaker 4: to check us out her space podcast dot com click.

892
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:20,479
Speaker 4: I think is it Wisdom Winsday with Terry. Yeah, okay,

893
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 4: thank you, dom There we go. I need to go

894
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 4: to our website Wisdom Wizard with Terry, and you can

895
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 4: tune into the after show. So the first tip here

896
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 4: is consult your mentor. The second is identify a timeline.

897
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:38,040
Speaker 4: The third is get your financial house in order, Number

898
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 4: four identify your next steps. Number five submit an official

899
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 4: resignation letter, and number six provide feedback or an exit interview.

900
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 4: We hope you enjoyed this episode. Lady, We're about to

901
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 4: head onto the after show.

902
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show

903
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 3: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and

904
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 3: mental health, but is by no means meant to be

905
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 3: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained

906
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 3: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is

907
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 3: in need of mental health care, please visit a Therapy

908
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 3: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

909
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 4: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

910
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 4: the conversation going, visit our website at Herspace podcast dot

911
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 4: com and be sure to click the Patreon tab to

912
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:37,680
Speaker 4: get access to video content bonuses in our weekly after

913
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 4: show and before we meet again, repeat after Me. Every

914
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,719
Speaker 4: dream within me exists because it's possible.