Speaker 1: This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come
Speaker 1: and see my brand new comedy hour well as Actually
Speaker 1: it's about an hour and a half and I don't
Speaker 1: have an opener because these guys cost money. But what
Speaker 1: I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway,
Speaker 1: come and see me live on the Pants on Fire
Speaker 1: Tour in your region. Tickets our own sale now, and
Speaker 1: we'll be adding more as the tour continues throughout twenty
Speaker 1: twenty five and beyond. For a full list of dates,
Speaker 1: go to the Craig Ferguson show dot com. See you
Speaker 1: on the road, My DearS. My name is Craig Ferguson.
Speaker 1: The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to
Speaker 1: interesting people about what brings them happiness. Hello everyone. About
Speaker 1: fifteen years ago I was in a comedy club in
Speaker 1: Cleveland as an audience member, watching which I think was
Speaker 1: maybe one of the funniest performances I have ever seen
Speaker 1: a comedy and give today that comedian is here and
Speaker 1: he's an unusual customer.
Speaker 2: His name is John Love. It's and John.
Speaker 1: I have to tell you something, by the way, before
Speaker 1: we begin, do you remember we had dinner after a
Speaker 1: show of yours in Cleveland years ago, Uh, hilarities.
Speaker 2: In Cleveland, do you remember that kind of Well, well,
Speaker 2: I know, and all the restaurants have kind of you know.
Speaker 3: This is what I think, really is.
Speaker 2: I got the COVID vaccine and I got COVID anyway,
Speaker 2: and and so my memory it locked out a lot
Speaker 2: of crap.
Speaker 1: From my memory. And I don't know if.
Speaker 2: It's the vaccine or COVID, but I've asked a lot
Speaker 2: of people this and they say yes. I say, do
Speaker 2: you find your like searching for a word you think
Speaker 2: thinking of a word or name, and also it's right
Speaker 2: there and that just goes away and happens a lot.
Speaker 3: And they said yes.
Speaker 2: And I said, and did this ever happen before the
Speaker 2: vaccine or COVID any what? They said, No, Then that's
Speaker 2: clearly scientific proof. I would say this, though I have
Speaker 2: no I've had the COVID vaccine a couple of times,
Speaker 2: and I've had COVID a couple of times, and.
Speaker 1: I feel like my memory is kind of the same,
Speaker 1: but I might have forgotten how it used to be.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Well, then it means I've just gotten older,
Speaker 2: and I'm getting because I go, it's either that or
Speaker 2: I'm getting senile.
Speaker 3: I forgot about this. I remembered it yesterday, but today if.
Speaker 2: Well, it's all right.
Speaker 1: I feel like I quite as I get older and
Speaker 1: I forget things. I mean, look, if it's going to
Speaker 1: be and I've thought about this in my life. If
Speaker 1: I get very old and things start to fall apart,
Speaker 1: do I is it the plumbing or the upstairs? And
Speaker 1: I think I'd probably prefer upstairs because if upstairs, if
Speaker 1: you go like forget things and everything, then you just
Speaker 1: forget them. But and that's somebody else's problem. But if you,
Speaker 1: if you're plumbing goes, that's kind of your problem, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, maybe both of them go.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: If your plumbing goes, it's my problem. No, well, not
Speaker 2: necessarily yours. It depends if you're in the room with me.
Speaker 2: But aren't you from Scotland? Originally I am, Yes. Aren't
Speaker 2: you from California though?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: But I live in California. Why don't you live in
Speaker 2: Scotland anymore? What do you have against.
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 4: Know?
Speaker 1: That's a very good question. I feel like I lived
Speaker 1: in Scotland enough and now I live elsewhere. Also, my
Speaker 1: wife's families from here in New England, so I have
Speaker 1: to be here them give a question. I know this
Speaker 1: is your show, but I have a question. We're turning
Speaker 1: it into mind Okay, Sean Connery was Scottish?
Speaker 2: Correct?
Speaker 1: Correct?
Speaker 2: So why aren't you James Bond? That's the question I've
Speaker 2: been asking myself for years.
Speaker 3: Good James Bond, you'd be great and you'd be a funny,
Speaker 3: clever James Bond.
Speaker 1: I totally agree. I feel like we should call someone.
Speaker 1: Do you know who is in charge of it?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 1: Amazon? Right, well, I'll call that man that runs it.
Speaker 1: I'd go on Amazon account. Could maybe I could ask
Speaker 1: the question on the Amazon account, I.
Speaker 2: Would think, So, I don't know what and I have
Speaker 2: another question for you. Okay, why did you stop doing
Speaker 2: your talk show? Well? That's uh, You're you were genuinely
Speaker 2: one of the funniest talk show hosts. So I was like, why, Well,
Speaker 2: I would say the same to you about Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, when you do a show for
Speaker 1: a long time, like for me, you were maybe the
Speaker 1: funniest guy who's ever on Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 2: That's that's a high bar. Well, that's bar but I
Speaker 2: think that why did you stop? Oh, I guess we're
Speaker 2: back to it's your show now? Well, because yeah, because
Speaker 2: I was supposed to do a movie of my liar
Speaker 2: character and it fell apart. So five years later I
Speaker 2: got a chance to do another great part and my
Speaker 2: contract is up, so I would have had to miss
Speaker 2: two shows. They said they couldn't work around my schedule.
Speaker 2: So Lauren said, you can't miss shows. You can go
Speaker 2: back and forth. And I said, well, I'm I'm happy
Speaker 2: to do that, but they're saying no, and so I
Speaker 2: was mad, so I quit. But in retrospect, because I said,
Speaker 2: I'll sign up for five more years, I go, just
Speaker 2: let me miss the first tune. He was no. In retrospect,
Speaker 2: I should have said to the movie, I go, I'm
Speaker 2: not leaving, So if you want me, you have to
Speaker 2: work around the show. Go.
Speaker 3: You can't ask me to leave this, you know, a series?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was?
Speaker 2: What was? There's a second opportunity to do this and
Speaker 2: the first movie I was supposed to do with Lauren
Speaker 2: and it got all mess so I was like, come on, like,
Speaker 2: give me, you know a chance.
Speaker 3: But also in retrospect, they got it says that they're
Speaker 3: hiring you because you're.
Speaker 1: On the show.
Speaker 3: That's where you're getting all these offers that I was stupid.
Speaker 2: Well, you were very young. I mean you were really young.
Speaker 1: Well I was thirty three, you know, were you really? No,
Speaker 1: you gotta be wow, you're.
Speaker 3: Eighty No, one hundred of us eighty.
Speaker 1: No, you do moisturize because clearly you and I suppose
Speaker 1: because you're a Californian as well, you wear.
Speaker 2: Sunscreen and that will help you.
Speaker 3: I played tennis. No, I'm sixty seven now.
Speaker 1: Yes, very good on it. Do you do you have
Speaker 1: a very strict health regiment? Are you a vegan? Yeah?
Speaker 2: This is all broccoli. Do you still love your stand
Speaker 2: up club? No? That No, I don't have that anymore.
Speaker 2: But I still do stand up all over. I'm going
Speaker 2: to I'm doing starting to do. I do clubs, you know,
Speaker 2: in America and theater and casinos. It's not like I
Speaker 2: left America first Scotland.
Speaker 1: Neither did I. I left Scotland for America. I did
Speaker 1: the opposite of what you were saying. And let me
Speaker 1: see this. I will see this though, and I feel
Speaker 1: like and I did want to chase to say this
Speaker 1: to you. When I saw you in Hilarities in Cleveland,
Speaker 1: a night that was so important to you that you
Speaker 1: can't even remember it. But when I saw you that night,
Speaker 1: I have to say that it was perhaps one of
Speaker 1: the funniest performances. I remember weeping with laughter, one of
Speaker 1: the funniest performances. Yeah.
Speaker 3: You did a song about coming from You, thank You.
Speaker 1: Oh it was hilarious. And I went with a bunch
Speaker 1: of guys I was working with. We all went and
Speaker 1: we all we were we were open the balcony of
Speaker 1: this club and we were all hanging on to each other.
Speaker 1: We sailardious. You did a song about my late friend
Speaker 1: Bob Saga of a Bob Bob Saga his Gate, which
Speaker 1: it was a very I kind't even really remember this,
Speaker 1: so I just remember would being a very, very funny
Speaker 1: and talked to Bob about it, and he was quite
Speaker 1: grumpy about it. Were you friends with Bob? Yeah?
Speaker 2: What he was grumpy about it? He knew about it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we were very good friends for years. Yeah, God bless him.
Speaker 2: It's horrible that he passed away into Oh terrible. Yeah, right,
Speaker 2: I would reduce songs about my manager, just make up
Speaker 2: stupid songs about him, just to bug him.
Speaker 3: And then and then I.
Speaker 2: Started doing stand up. So I started doing the songs
Speaker 2: about my manager, Mark Kurvitz, and then I go, well,
Speaker 2: and I realized no one knows who Mark is. So
Speaker 2: I saw Bob, who by then i'd known, you know,
Speaker 2: twenty years.
Speaker 3: I said, yeah, can I make it? Can I use
Speaker 3: your name instead of his yours?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Go ahead.
Speaker 2: So he gave me permission. He thought it was funny
Speaker 2: what somebody's at the laugh Factory doing. He came on
Speaker 2: stage behind me, Oh that's great. But see he was
Speaker 2: grumpy blank because he would try to make up songs
Speaker 2: about him, and I go, they're not funny us, Well,
Speaker 2: why are your songs about me funny?
Speaker 3: In mine aren't because you're not funny.
Speaker 2: Because Bob, my whole thing is is that I'm trying
Speaker 2: to kill rumors about you with these songs. And then
Speaker 2: clearly my songs are the source of the rumors. So
Speaker 2: it's a reverse reach around. It's called that's that's I
Speaker 2: believe that's what it's called in comedic terror. Then not
Speaker 2: getting into your private life, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, perhaps I should get into your private life. What
Speaker 1: is your private life? I should maybe Barbara walters you
Speaker 1: a bit. How are things with you after your friend?
Speaker 3: I'm on TikTok but show. I'm just not wearing a no,
Speaker 3: wearing a dress.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: But you're so funny.
Speaker 2: I don't know why. I guess you got tired of
Speaker 2: doing the show. But it's like the top shows. Now
Speaker 2: you're so political. I'm like, what happened to the comedy?
Speaker 2: What happened? It's like, I know, I think what happened?
Speaker 2: Is there?
Speaker 1: Everyone wants so and so I said, I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I go.
Speaker 3: They're comedians.
Speaker 1: Why do you care? Hello, this is Greig Ferguson and
Speaker 1: I want to let you know I have a brand
Speaker 1: new stand up comedy special out now on YouTube. It's
Speaker 1: called I'm So Happy, and I would be so happy
Speaker 1: if you checked it out. To watch the special, just
Speaker 1: go to my YouTube channel at the Craig Ferguson Show
Speaker 1: and is this right there? Just click it and play
Speaker 1: it and it's free. I can't look. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to come around your house and show have to do it.
Speaker 1: If you can't do it, then you can't have it.
Speaker 1: But if you can figure it out, it's yours. Have
Speaker 1: you ever gotten an anty trouble for Anthony you've said, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh really what happened?
Speaker 3: Well, it's not my comedy club.
Speaker 2: And I was complaining about when President Obama, who I
Speaker 2: voted for, was saying they quote the people in the
Speaker 2: upper one percent were weren't paying their fair share of taxes,
Speaker 2: which wasn't true at all. And I was, I mean,
Speaker 2: maybe there was a few people, but they, I go,
Speaker 2: they be in jail, they're tax cheese, you know, and
Speaker 2: so it and he kept saying it over and over
Speaker 2: and over, but it wasn't true. It's like you're paying
Speaker 2: over half of your income. And I would go to people,
Speaker 2: I go, let me ask you a question. Do you
Speaker 2: think it's fair if, like, say you earned two for
Speaker 2: every two dollars you earn, you have to give a
Speaker 2: dollar back in taxes. And they'll go, no, that's not fair.
Speaker 2: They go, I don't care how much if you broke
Speaker 2: I go, right, Well, I go, well it's more than that.
Speaker 2: So who did you get in trouble with? Did Obama
Speaker 2: call you? Was he angry at you? No?
Speaker 3: I don't think so, because I've actually met him twice.
Speaker 1: He's a very nice man.
Speaker 2: But uh, what I said was I go, it's bullshit.
Speaker 2: And I'm a Democrat and I voted for him. What
Speaker 2: a fucking asshole. But then I went on to say,
Speaker 2: I go, you know, I go. It's America, and they
Speaker 2: say do whatever you want, go for it. I go.
Speaker 2: So then you go for it, you make it. And
Speaker 2: then everyone's like fuck you, which is true, you succeeded.
Speaker 2: Everyone gets pissed.
Speaker 1: I go, I go.
Speaker 2: And the best example of somebody who had nothing and
Speaker 2: went all the way I go is the president himself,
Speaker 2: which was Obama. I go. He's amazing. The guy had
Speaker 2: no money and no father. He's half black and half white.
Speaker 2: I go, which is a burden in his country. Don't
Speaker 2: kid yourself. And then he went, although he went to Harvard,
Speaker 2: he became president of the United States, and now he's
Speaker 2: like fuck me.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: He was saying about people that were successful, which if
Speaker 2: he was a part of, he goes, you know, if
Speaker 2: you have a business, you know, you didn't build that
Speaker 2: business the government. What about the roads and and and
Speaker 2: the cards that get you there? You know, the roads,
Speaker 2: And I go, the roads that our taxes paid for.
Speaker 2: And three three days later he made a video saying,
Speaker 2: you built that. I apologize. You know, he made a video,
Speaker 2: but it had been left out the part that I
Speaker 2: said I was clearly making a joke when I said
Speaker 2: a fucking asshole, and then when I said, but I said,
Speaker 2: he's amazing, you know, they left that out. So all
Speaker 2: the headlines where I called him a name, you know,
Speaker 2: and stuff fazing what he's achieved in his life, which
Speaker 2: he it is. Yeah, but they left all part out.
Speaker 2: See what I mean.
Speaker 1: Did you get into trouble? Did you lose a job
Speaker 1: or anything like that? Did anyone get mad at you?
Speaker 3: Well, it was all over the press. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 3: think I lost any work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the whole thing. What people do do that?
Speaker 2: People don't even read the whole thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a joke, I clearly Yoh. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: had to go.
Speaker 2: I went on the I had to go on the
Speaker 2: news to defend myself. I ended up going on a bill. O'Reilly.
Speaker 2: He tried to like, he'll all just ask you a
Speaker 2: few questions and this, and then he tried to like going, yeah,
Speaker 2: but you said this, and you're you know, he tried
Speaker 2: to what's the word corner you no, like, set me up?
Speaker 2: What's the word set you up? Not?
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's that's the COVID.
Speaker 3: I can't remember the word.
Speaker 2: He tried to set me up, all right, yeah, well
Speaker 2: I think journalists do that. And then but he's not
Speaker 2: that smart and I'm smarter than him. I was clear
Speaker 2: as a bell, you don't have to be that smart
Speaker 2: to be smarter than him. But he was trying to,
Speaker 2: you know, set me up. And then he had Dennis
Speaker 2: Miller was on the show at the time. I'm friends
Speaker 2: with Dennis and trying to get Dennis to slam me.
Speaker 2: Dennis goes, I'm not doing it. The guy's my friend. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but he said this. He goes, well, I'm not slamming.
Speaker 2: The guy's my friend for you know, thirty years. And
Speaker 2: then I ended up going Fox News on Sean with
Speaker 2: Sean Hannity, and he goes, well, he goes, I know
Speaker 2: you said this, but clearly you were joking and you
Speaker 2: were trying to make the point that people are paying
Speaker 2: their fair share. I go, exactly, I go, thank you
Speaker 2: for being like the only person to get it. Clearly
Speaker 2: I was I was mad, but making a joke, you know.
Speaker 2: But I said, the guy and he is amazing. What
Speaker 2: he achieved is anybody that become anybody that runs for
Speaker 2: president of the United States and gets elected. It's pretty
Speaker 2: It's a giant accomplishment. Whether you like them or not,
Speaker 2: it's it's I agree, you got to have a tough
Speaker 2: skin to do that.
Speaker 1: Would you ever be drawing to politics as ever something
Speaker 1: that you would like because you're quite political, you care
Speaker 1: about things. Why why wouldn't you get drawn?
Speaker 2: I care about him like anybody else cares about him.
Speaker 2: But no, I wouldn't be good at it. People go,
Speaker 2: why do you do it? I go. I go because
Speaker 2: I don't wonder. I'm an actor. I'm not I'm not qualified.
Speaker 2: And secondly, I'm great at making the speeches right and
Speaker 2: convincing people. But I go because it's acting. It's what
Speaker 2: I do for a living. So my speeches would be
Speaker 2: way better than any politicians because they're they're not good
Speaker 2: at it, you know, because they're not actors. They don't
Speaker 2: know how to deliver a speech.
Speaker 6: And well that wouldn't Reagan was an actorking a certain
Speaker 6: cadence in this, and if they were doing that, like
Speaker 6: say on stage in a play, you'd go like, what
Speaker 6: are you doing?
Speaker 2: You sound weilt it and phony? And you know, I go,
Speaker 2: but that, but that doesn't mean anything. I go, that's acting.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not qualified. The people go do who
Speaker 2: you vote for? I go whoever you believe in. I
Speaker 2: would never tell anybody to vote for because I go one,
Speaker 2: I'm not qualified, and also I do believe just because
Speaker 2: I'm known, does therefore mean I'm qualified to tell you
Speaker 2: who to vote for.
Speaker 3: It's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: And secondly, what if I did tell you to vote
Speaker 2: for and it was it turned out it was the best,
Speaker 2: the wrong guy and it was bad, So you did you.
Speaker 1: Never endorse anyone for candiescies?
Speaker 2: Then you never do that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: I mean you look offended. When I even asked you,
Speaker 1: you were like no, Like no, Craig, I would never
Speaker 1: do that, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 2: No, And I just no, because of course it's idiotic.
Speaker 2: It's like if you said, do you have advice about acting?
Speaker 2: And commed this, I go, sure, because I'm qualified. It's
Speaker 2: all I've been doing and faking about since I'm five.
Speaker 2: I've done everything in acting you can possibly do, and
Speaker 2: done it quite well. You have done porn, yes, no,
Speaker 2: but but this is the thing about it. It was
Speaker 2: I did it for like three years, but I only
Speaker 2: did the insert shots and I did it for like
Speaker 2: three years, but I wanted to be an actor, you know,
Speaker 2: and I got the base on camera.
Speaker 3: No one knows it's me. This is a waste of time.
Speaker 2: Waste of time.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, is there any chance of
Speaker 1: doing a reboot of The Critic? Well, I've been trying
Speaker 1: to get that going for years and we're still kidding. Fine,
Speaker 1: but I can't do it, and I don't know. We're trying,
Speaker 1: but I don't know.
Speaker 2: But finally it's funny because for me, the Critic, I
Speaker 2: loved that show. He wants to he goes no, no, no,
Speaker 2: but for some reason think he's changed his mind, and
Speaker 2: so we want to do it. But but will it happened?
Speaker 2: I don't know, because there's all these things, and there's rights,
Speaker 2: and there's things like who owns it? It's Sony, and
Speaker 2: and then there's like their animation isn't part of the
Speaker 2: Writers Guild, which is right. I'm in the guild, and
Speaker 2: al who created and Mike created there in the guild.
Speaker 2: So it's like, can you do it? And you know
Speaker 2: you can't be any union you're working on union. It's
Speaker 2: a whole thing.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I feel like you should be able
Speaker 1: to figure that out.
Speaker 3: The way you're looking at me, it's very well, I'm
Speaker 3: I'm I'm.
Speaker 1: What I'm I'm not. I'm looking at you, you know,
Speaker 1: in a friendly I'm not being come heather with you.
Speaker 1: I'm just just yeah, Well, I'm sad about it because
Speaker 1: I loved. I thought the critic was the was the
Speaker 1: forerunner to BoJack Horseman.
Speaker 2: I thought it was.
Speaker 1: It was like it led to other great you know
Speaker 1: kind of yes, yes, don't love it's in the front
Speaker 1: row bo Jack Forceman.
Speaker 3: I don't know what that is. Well, you don't bu
Speaker 3: Jack Horseman was a great. Embarrassed you don't know something.
Speaker 3: I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm not trying to embarrass you. I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell you.
Speaker 2: Well, I know, I'm just saying I'm not embarrassed about
Speaker 2: saying I don't know something.
Speaker 1: Oh right, Well you shouldn't be. There's no reason for
Speaker 1: you to be embarrassed. Yeah. I would more embarrassed about
Speaker 1: your three years working.
Speaker 2: In porn then, although you know, maybe I'm being First
Speaker 2: of all, you would never know it's me. No one
Speaker 2: knows me, that's true. Yes, it's a lot of money. Yes,
Speaker 2: it was you know every week three you know, three
Speaker 2: different women. It sounds like a fantasy come true.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's you.
Speaker 2: It's just the insert shot, right, and then you're making
Speaker 2: a lot of money. But then they go, if you
Speaker 2: say to you will deny it. Ah, right, why can
Speaker 2: I ask why that deny it? But surely that would
Speaker 2: be great publicity for them.
Speaker 1: If it's you know, Jordan Loves's business on screen, people
Speaker 1: would pay to see that.
Speaker 7: See, so it didn't it wasn't. Oh I see, it
Speaker 7: wouldn't meant anything. Well, well maybe you could go back
Speaker 7: and see if you can reboot. That looks like with
Speaker 7: your hand, it looks like you're I'm gesturing, Well, this
Speaker 7: is what it looks like.
Speaker 1: No, no, well that's that's not what I'm doing at all.
Speaker 1: Form's sake, I'm gesturing. I'm put in my glass. You're
Speaker 1: very you're very You're quite sexy today. You're you're saying
Speaker 1: quite sexy things. What's going on there?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: You feeling a little you feel a little frustrated? What's
Speaker 1: going on? Things are a little sexy with you?
Speaker 2: And I didn't do your talk show more because I
Speaker 2: just remember when I did it, and and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: this guy, he gets my humor and he's just giving
Speaker 2: it right to back this. Yeah, this is so much fun.
Speaker 2: Why didn't you ever have me back? You know, I
Speaker 2: have no idea, to be honest, I thought you were
Speaker 2: on it tons of times once You're only on once,
Speaker 2: and I liked it.
Speaker 3: I was pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 1: Seems crazy to me, but you know, there's really funny
Speaker 1: and he was.
Speaker 3: You were really making me laugh. I go, we didn't
Speaker 3: know he was this funny and witty.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It's so it's weird to me, Johan, because I've met
Speaker 1: I've run a couple of people since doing the show
Speaker 1: who've said to me, why was I never on this show?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, you were, because I forget. I
Speaker 1: mean honestly, I forget. Like in the ten years that
Speaker 1: I did the show, I once watched the documentary about
Speaker 1: Leonard Nimoy, the original Mister Spock and.
Speaker 2: Nimoy, Oh, Nimoy Nimoy. I don't know.
Speaker 1: In New England we say nimoy wow, but it needed
Speaker 1: Leonard's Nimoy. And I said to my wife after the documentary,
Speaker 1: what a lovely man. I should have had him on
Speaker 1: late night when he was alive and we looked up heat.
Speaker 1: He was on twice, remember, and you had COVID and
Speaker 1: the vaccine. I had COVID twice. Did you get very
Speaker 1: psych when you had COVID?
Speaker 2: You had Spock Leonard you on your show, who was
Speaker 2: arguably not arguably is one of the biggest pop culture phenomenons.
Speaker 2: Character is one of the most name a bigger character
Speaker 2: on television and Spock, I don't think I could. I
Speaker 2: don't think I could.
Speaker 8: Equal but bigger. No, No, no, Spot, Sam Spot, Jay Sherman.
Speaker 8: The fuck that he wrote a book, I Am not Spock.
Speaker 1: Did you know that that's right?
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right. Then a few years later he wrote
Speaker 2: another book, goes Okay, I am Spuck.
Speaker 1: I am I'm gonna want very nice on audition for
Speaker 1: some movie, you know, And it was really nice.
Speaker 2: But I just couldn't stop laughing because everything he said
Speaker 2: I was going, but he it Spuck.
Speaker 3: It's just you couldn't get out of him. I couldn't
Speaker 3: get out of my head that No, he's not Spuck.
Speaker 3: He's an actor. He's a person.
Speaker 1: He's not an alien. He's human.
Speaker 2: And I just remember talking looking at his ears, you know, mean,
Speaker 2: they're not pointing. I just didn't put it out of
Speaker 2: my head. It was and he's like ring, you know,
Speaker 2: da da da da da, and he's laughing, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: spucks laughing and cracking jokes. Yeah, it's it's it's weird
Speaker 2: because that's not but he's not spoke.
Speaker 1: Didn't you read the book? Didn't you read the book?
Speaker 1: He said that he was not spoke, and he sure
Speaker 1: looked like him. And yeah, have you written a book yet?
Speaker 1: You just write a book. I wrote a book. I'm not.
Speaker 3: Frank Sturtson.
Speaker 1: Oh I read it, that's right. I forgot. I forgot
Speaker 1: I read it, but I had COVID and and I
Speaker 1: forgot that I read your book. I read it today.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I have funny stories about people people writing a book.
Speaker 2: I never talked about my personal life because you know why, Craig,
Speaker 2: because there's other people involved exactly that are private and
Speaker 2: you have to talk about them, right.
Speaker 3: But you guys, it's hard to talk about your personal life.
Speaker 3: Heard of doing it.
Speaker 2: But but I guess I kind of get it. Then
Speaker 2: you could do whatever you want. Must have been fun.
Speaker 2: You can do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: No, I'm on your talk show. Do you ever think
Speaker 3: about going back?
Speaker 2: You should go back and do a talk show and
Speaker 2: just make it comedy and everybody would you'd be the
Speaker 2: number one rated because it's just comedy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know, John. I think I'd have to have
Speaker 2: you on it a lot, all right, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I feel like doing a show every day is No,
Speaker 1: it's not my cup of tea anymore. Are you familiar
Speaker 1: with that expression, a cup of tea? It's not my
Speaker 1: cup of tea anymore.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: I don't want to work every day like that.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I go, you can do it once a week,
Speaker 3: and you go, I am, I'm doing this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I'm doing this once a week.
Speaker 1: And the good thing about this one is I only
Speaker 1: I don't have to talk to anyone I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk to It's not like, say, well they've got
Speaker 1: a big movie coming out, so you have to talk
Speaker 1: to them, and I'm like, I want to talk to them.
Speaker 1: They talked to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course I want to talk to you. That's
Speaker 2: why I'm talking to you.
Speaker 3: What do you want to talk about.
Speaker 1: I'd like to talk about your book, the book detailing
Speaker 1: your anecdotes. I want to hear. I want to hear
Speaker 1: stories about my step mother is an Alien, which is
Speaker 1: one of my favorite movies.
Speaker 3: Okay, I love that movie. Well, i'm reading the script.
Speaker 2: This is when I was getting a lot of offers
Speaker 2: and I was Penny Marshall befriended me my first show
Speaker 2: on SNL and then and then after she put me
Speaker 2: in her movies.
Speaker 3: And she's where you're living in La this summer?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: She's, well, you can stay at my house. She had
Speaker 3: a big, beautiful house.
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, it's a mansion, you know. So I stayed there.
Speaker 2: Joe Peshey was staying in the room next to me.
Speaker 2: Joe and I lived there for and anyways, the summer
Speaker 2: I'm there, I get off of this movie my Stepma.
Speaker 3: There's Nyly. So I'm reading it.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, I'm in Penny's kitchen, which is one into
Speaker 2: the house, and I'm reading the script thinking do I
Speaker 2: want to do this?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 2: So I'm reading it, and then my characters, you know,
Speaker 2: and Dan Ackway, I play his brother. Dan's the best,
Speaker 2: but I go, well, like Dan so and then Kim
Speaker 2: Basinger's going to be in it. And then it says
Speaker 2: page thirty six, my character it kisses Kim Basinger goes,
Speaker 2: he kisses her, He really kisses her.
Speaker 3: That's what the script says.
Speaker 1: And I start.
Speaker 3: Screaming, do I want to do it?
Speaker 1: I want to do it? Are you kidding me? Oh
Speaker 1: my god?
Speaker 3: And Penny runs in, what's wrong? I go, I'm reading
Speaker 3: the script. Do I want to do it? I get
Speaker 3: to get kiss Kim Basinger.
Speaker 1: Do I want to do it?
Speaker 2: So I CAUs, yes, I go, I don't need to
Speaker 2: read the rest of the script. I'll I'll do it right.
Speaker 2: And I read it, but I just go, I'm in.
Speaker 2: So now we're doing the movie and she is so
Speaker 2: beautiful and sexy it's insane. And I remember one time
Speaker 2: I'm in the makeup trailer and and she was leaving
Speaker 2: right and I go, hey, Kim, and she and and
Speaker 2: she turned around right and I'm just like, I just
Speaker 2: I didn't have anything to say. I just wanted to
Speaker 2: look at her again, because I mean, she it was
Speaker 2: she didn't look real. She was so beautiful and sexy.
Speaker 2: She's one of those women like they're just looking at
Speaker 2: you and they go, oh my god, they're trying to
Speaker 2: seduce me.
Speaker 1: No she's not.
Speaker 2: She's just looking but she's so sexy and so beautiful,
Speaker 2: and her skin's like perfect. And she turns around and
Speaker 2: I could see the sun in the back of her
Speaker 2: coming through the door of the makeup trailer, right, so
Speaker 2: it looks like and she's this gold blonde hair and
Speaker 2: it's like a halo around her. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: like angels singing, and I go chos yeah, and I
Speaker 2: look at it. She's looking my go I go oh.
Speaker 2: Now I'd say I have a good day, have a
Speaker 2: good day today, okay. And it's like, uh so this
Speaker 2: is all I'm thinking about.
Speaker 1: For the movie.
Speaker 2: One week two Now we're six weeks into the movie,
Speaker 2: and I look, you know, you're in the makeup chain
Speaker 2: and they give you these like you know, not like
Speaker 2: a like.
Speaker 5: This, this like this, yeah, besides like your your lights
Speaker 5: for the day. This big as big as an envelope
Speaker 5: with all your lines. So I'm looking at it and
Speaker 5: I'm reading it, and I go, oh, I think this
Speaker 5: is the Today's the day the scene where I kiss her?
Speaker 2: Oh? Right.
Speaker 3: I go to Richard Benjamin and I said, uh, is
Speaker 3: this is this the scene right when I kiss her?
Speaker 3: And he goes yes. He goes yes. I go Now,
Speaker 3: I've never kissed a woman in a movie, right, So
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, what do I do? He'll just kiss her?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, this is all I've been thinking about since
Speaker 2: I said yes, this is all I've been thinking about.
Speaker 3: So I walk up to Kim. I go, hey, Kim,
Speaker 3: you know, today's our big scene. And she goes what.
Speaker 2: I go it what?
Speaker 1: Nothing? Forget it? Nothing?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: I realized she hasn't thought about it for like a second. Nothing.
Speaker 2: It's aw about It's the whole reason I didn't move
Speaker 2: what But the thing is, I love everyone else.
Speaker 3: I'm not going, hey, you want to do a movie.
Speaker 3: You got to kiss Kim base And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you want to know where to pay? Noa, I'll pay you.
Speaker 3: What are you kidding?
Speaker 2: Right? So so anyway, so the scene is we're doing
Speaker 2: it and and she's an alien and and she marries Dan.
Speaker 2: I'm the brother in law, and I go walk up.
Speaker 2: I go, well, maybe the first to kiss the bride.
Speaker 2: She goes okay, and she's kissing me, and she sees
Speaker 2: her dog floating up in the air because she's got
Speaker 2: this purse with this alien in it, this eye and
Speaker 2: it's making her our Dan's dog, a beagle, float up
Speaker 2: in the air like. So she's like, you know, kissing
Speaker 2: me and the sided. So they go, okay, do it again,
Speaker 2: do it again. So now it's the third takes. I go,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm like, as I go, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: really kiss it, right, And I had to stand in
Speaker 2: a hole. So I give her a good kiss, right,
Speaker 2: and I swooned. You swooned, You swooned?
Speaker 1: What you mean?
Speaker 3: I mean all the blood went to my head and
Speaker 3: I went.
Speaker 2: And I will fell over. And then so we finished
Speaker 2: the scene. So then she we're at this house and
Speaker 2: she's now shes and all, and she was okay to me.
Speaker 2: But after that kiss, she was super nice. She goes, John,
Speaker 2: come on in the house. These are the people that
Speaker 2: live here, and I go, all, nice to meet you. Right,
Speaker 2: she was super nice if it. And then anyway, she
Speaker 2: was always very nice, but she was even nicer. But
Speaker 2: then I saw I saw her like a couple of
Speaker 2: years ago, and I told her that whole story I
Speaker 2: just told you, and she's.
Speaker 3: Like, no, no memory, no memory of it at all.
Speaker 1: It's like when I had dinner with you.
Speaker 2: And I said to her cam after you know that
Speaker 2: summer that this club Helene is in La and I
Speaker 2: saw you at this club. You funderstand she was not
Speaker 2: just pretty. She was one of the most beautiful women
Speaker 2: in the world, like probably the sexiest woman in the world, right,
Speaker 2: and she's super nice, but she was just like.
Speaker 3: Obviously drop dead gorge.
Speaker 2: So so I go, hey, you want to dance, and
Speaker 2: she goes yeah, And then she was with us make
Speaker 2: a guy that did her hair, and she was dancing
Speaker 2: with him, and then I didn't get to right then
Speaker 2: I'm looking around like, oh she laughed, and my fuck.
Speaker 3: Now it's about two in the morning and I see
Speaker 3: her again.
Speaker 2: She was there. I go, hey, remember our dance, you
Speaker 2: promise She goes, oh yeah, okay. So it's like it's
Speaker 2: about eighty degrees out of warm summer night and Frank
Speaker 2: Sinatra's song The Summer Wind right is playing, and I'm
Speaker 2: dancing with Ken basing her to the summer wind and
Speaker 2: I'm holding her, you know, not like separate, but like this,
Speaker 2: and she's laughing, and I'm just like one of the
Speaker 2: greatest moments of my life. Right, it was just like
Speaker 2: magical in like thirty years, Hey, remember that night it's
Speaker 2: one of the best.
Speaker 3: Nights of my life. She's like, I gotta remember.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how I felt when I told you that
Speaker 1: I had dinner with you in Cleveland, which is one
Speaker 1: of the greatest nights of my life. And you don't remember.
Speaker 1: And you made a joke about it. You said it
Speaker 1: was COVID, but I think you just you just really
Speaker 1: didn't remember even without COVID.
Speaker 3: Well, I remember the.
Speaker 1: Club and hilarios. I kind of remember now that you're
Speaker 1: mentioning it.
Speaker 3: But you'll understand, what was that twenty years ago?
Speaker 2: No, yeah, yeah, it's like twenty years ago, ten years ago.
Speaker 2: I have a feeling Creig no offense, but I have
Speaker 2: a feeling that as time goes on your your brain,
Speaker 2: it's like, say, this is twenty years ago, right, and
Speaker 2: now here's twenty years later. So this chunk it kind
Speaker 2: of starts fading away because you're putting more and more
Speaker 2: in your brain and you just don't remember everything.
Speaker 1: Well, I haven't noticed that. I have noticed. I remember
Speaker 1: stuff that's back further, but this stuff, like, you know,
Speaker 1: five years ago, I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, but twenty
Speaker 1: five years ago.
Speaker 3: Two days ago, what did you have for lunch?
Speaker 1: I had.
Speaker 2: Salmon probably I think you know, but.
Speaker 3: You don't three days ago.
Speaker 1: I have no idea, right, do you know?
Speaker 3: I do know what you had for lunch three days ago?
Speaker 1: Yes, well that's weird because it does taste a bit funny.
Speaker 1: So how were you involved?
Speaker 2: You were in town and I was working this hot
Speaker 2: dog stand and you got gay Can I get a thing?
Speaker 2: And I go, oh, you go you look like John Lovettz.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, yeah, I get that a lot. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: because it's embarrassing. Do you get recognized the law in
Speaker 2: LA like you must all the time?
Speaker 1: Right? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah?
Speaker 5: Do you like it?
Speaker 1: I don't mind.
Speaker 3: I don't like when people are drunk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's who recognizes me.
Speaker 3: Well, because you're always.
Speaker 2: In the pep because you're Scottish from English.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't go in the pub that much anymore. I
Speaker 2: used to live in. I look at they're not if
Speaker 2: they're not drunking them because they're nice and they're complimenting
Speaker 2: you and yeah, and I just think be grateful, like
Speaker 2: one of the one of the job is there where
Speaker 2: there's hardly any job. People go hey, I love your
Speaker 2: what you do? I love your work. Great job, that's true.
Speaker 2: You don't get that, so it's lucky, not very lucky, fortunate,
Speaker 2: you know, grateful.
Speaker 1: Do you still get as much out of it as
Speaker 1: you because you love acting, You're really good at it,
Speaker 1: and you clearly you clearly love it.
Speaker 2: Do you still get as much joy as you always did?
Speaker 1: I do, But I was for a while. My manager goes, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, the part's are now you got to get
Speaker 1: back in.
Speaker 2: So I was doing a lot of movies that I
Speaker 2: didn't I wasn't enthusiastic about.
Speaker 3: And I finally said, you know what, I I can't
Speaker 3: do it. I can't do those anywhere I go.
Speaker 2: Well, I go because I'm just filling my resume with
Speaker 2: crap and I don't enjoy it and acting. He doesn't understand,
Speaker 2: because it's just a business. And I go, I know,
Speaker 2: but it's I have to be enthusiastic. It just means
Speaker 2: too much to me, and I go, I have to
Speaker 2: be enthusiastic about the part. I can't just I can't
Speaker 2: do it. Otherwise I can do it, but I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'll end up and I never walked through a part.
Speaker 2: It's just too hard. It's just because I don't care,
Speaker 2: but you have to care because you know they're bringing
Speaker 2: you and you can't walk through the part.
Speaker 3: And I just said, I can't do this anymore. So
Speaker 3: so I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2: So that so the but recently I did so I
Speaker 2: do still like it because now I'm just if I
Speaker 2: really like the part and I like the movie, I'll
Speaker 2: go I'll do it. So and that's also stand up
Speaker 2: is great because I love doing it. But you can
Speaker 2: still make a good living, so you don't have to
Speaker 2: do the movies that are crap and you don't care about.
Speaker 2: So I did a movie recently unless You're called. It
Speaker 2: was really fun. It was called The Toast. It hasn't
Speaker 2: come out yet, but it's about a I played the
Speaker 2: father of a bride and my daughter's getting it's the
Speaker 2: day of her wedding at the venue, so it's everything
Speaker 2: leading up, getting ready for the ceremony and then everything after.
Speaker 2: It's a comedy and it's a big disaster and I'm
Speaker 2: part of the disaster. I play father who's fall who's
Speaker 2: an AA in drug add and I fall off the wagon.
Speaker 2: So the and I don't drink or any drugs, but
Speaker 2: the whole movie I'm drunk and hi's a kite. And
Speaker 2: then I get up and I have to make a
Speaker 2: toast at or wedding and I'm completely blitzed out of
Speaker 2: my mind.
Speaker 3: And the guy wrote a great part and it was
Speaker 3: really fun to do and.
Speaker 1: Very moving.
Speaker 3: Craig, Oh really, yeah, Oh I love that.
Speaker 2: When is it coming up?
Speaker 1: Crying? You were crying?
Speaker 3: I was crying to people watching it were crying.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I feel like crying.
Speaker 3: The extras gave me a applause.
Speaker 2: Oh nice, that's when you know it was.
Speaker 3: Good, correctly, goes John. People watching the scene and the monitor,
Speaker 3: they were crying.
Speaker 2: Oh wow.
Speaker 3: No, they were crying because I was so bad.
Speaker 1: They were crying because you It was so much of
Speaker 1: an owner for them to be and there of the
Speaker 1: day that that piece of work was recorded.
Speaker 3: But they were so moved emotionally.
Speaker 2: And then I can't. I can't stay serious for more
Speaker 2: than the second. And then the guy in the scene
Speaker 2: played a priest. And I'm just telling you what he said, Craig,
Speaker 2: I didn't say it. I'm bragging, but he's I didn't,
Speaker 2: he Goes. I haven't seen you can take it, bove it.
Speaker 2: I've only seen that level of acting once.
Speaker 3: It was so great. I go, really, yes, I go, well,
Speaker 3: who was the actor?
Speaker 2: And he said al Paccino? No, yes, Wow, did you
Speaker 2: do that long of a pause before I should I
Speaker 2: fucked that up because I was And he said, oh,
Speaker 2: but che and I think both ways are good. Are
Speaker 2: you serious? He goes, yes, I played a judge and
Speaker 2: I was a lawyer and I watched him for two weeks.
Speaker 3: And I go, thank you.
Speaker 2: Now, Craig, Yeah, John, I am not comparing myself in
Speaker 2: any way to al Pacin. I really think you did.
Speaker 3: No, the guy did.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: The guy did, I'm not on that level. He's one
Speaker 3: of the greatest actors ever.
Speaker 1: But he's good.
Speaker 2: You good. You know, he's a big fan of mine.
Speaker 2: I think al Pacina but he's no, he's he's, you know,
Speaker 2: one of the greatest actors ever, but he's not that
Speaker 2: funny anywhere here his level as an actor. I would
Speaker 2: never say that, but the other guy said it.
Speaker 1: The other guy said that, and he knew what he
Speaker 1: was talking about, this guy because he played a judge.
Speaker 3: And who said, well, do you think he's right? My
Speaker 3: interview is now.
Speaker 1: But he said it. It's a very nice compliment. Yeah,
Speaker 1: somehow just smoking the imaginary cigarette. Why is he the
Speaker 1: invisible cigarette? What's that about?
Speaker 2: They're bad for you, Craig. But it's an emphasis. The
Speaker 2: point of it, Craig is that it was a giant
Speaker 2: compliment that I just now accidentally let slip out. I
Speaker 2: can't believe. I hope you don't mind if we leave
Speaker 2: it in the podcast.
Speaker 1: We're going to leave it. And even though it was
Speaker 1: totally an accident that it slipt out, because you're still relaxed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I really didn't mean to mention it.
Speaker 1: That's okay.
Speaker 3: Now, this guy who played the Jay, So of course movies,
Speaker 3: you go, well when is it?
Speaker 4: Ca?
Speaker 3: I go, is anyone gonna see it?
Speaker 2: So it was the thing, isn't it?
Speaker 1: You never know? But you get to do it.
Speaker 2: So I learned that you go, you got to enjoy
Speaker 2: like a lot of times, you know, you don't move,
Speaker 2: and you go like, oh, if I do this, then
Speaker 2: it'll get me this, I'll get me this, And I go,
Speaker 2: can I just enjoy this like I'm doing this now?
Speaker 3: Can I enjoy this movie now like I'm doing it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a challenge as well, because it's kind of
Speaker 2: how you get in the habit of thing in that way,
Speaker 2: because you know everyone does, because it's just you know,
Speaker 2: it's not like a steady job. You go, what's the
Speaker 2: next thing, but stand up is very steady. It's it's
Speaker 2: it's like, I feel like I beat the system.
Speaker 1: I love stand up because it gives you an autonomy.
Speaker 1: You can be your own man. You could be your
Speaker 1: own person. You don't have to follow any of the
Speaker 1: rules they book you. You turn up, you do the show,
Speaker 1: you leave, and that's it. Yeah, and you can do
Speaker 1: you inferring that I'm a man and.
Speaker 3: You can do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: It was It's just an expression, and I didn't mean
Speaker 1: to load it with any gender specifics. Uh and and
Speaker 1: I I feel like it was like the performance I
Speaker 1: saw you gave in Hilarities, the one You've forgotten about,
Speaker 1: which was hands down one of the funniest performances I've seen,
Speaker 1: and I don't think you were One of the things
Speaker 1: that really made me laugh about it was I I
Speaker 1: don't think you were aware of how great you were
Speaker 1: being doing the stand up. It seemed like it was
Speaker 1: so easy. And then now I realize the only other
Speaker 1: time I've seen comedy that good was how Fatina I
Speaker 1: think you're You're the only time I've seen comedy that
Speaker 1: good was me in America.
Speaker 4: That's what you should have said me, But I've never
Speaker 4: seen me age did Do you like watching yourself? Do
Speaker 4: you like looking back and stuff? Do you like watching
Speaker 4: your performances and stuff? Because I see this jiggling, it's
Speaker 4: john you know? Then you I mean, I do, and
Speaker 4: I don't, but it's it's.
Speaker 3: No, I don't know. I'm just like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: I look so fat.
Speaker 1: Oh my voice.
Speaker 2: It's weird because what you think you're doing, and then
Speaker 2: when you watch yourself you go, you go, oh, that's
Speaker 2: not what it felt like when I was doing it.
Speaker 2: And then also it's very strange because a lot of
Speaker 2: the stuff I do it makes me laugh because I didn't.
Speaker 3: I go, I didn't know I was doing that, right,
Speaker 3: it's stand up.
Speaker 1: Even movies.
Speaker 3: You watch this because when you're doing a scene in
Speaker 3: a movie, have you.
Speaker 2: Ever done a movie, I'm gonna be some water to do. Yet, well,
Speaker 2: if you know I was acting, you can't. It's hard
Speaker 2: to do because you you can't watch yourself, have an
Speaker 2: eye on yourself and do the scene. You've got to
Speaker 2: just forget you and focus on the other person and
Speaker 2: just get like almost lost in it and just go
Speaker 2: with it, you know, when it works its best and
Speaker 2: they go, oh that was great, you go what And
Speaker 2: if you're not watching yourself, you go what did I do?
Speaker 2: And then you watch it. It's very strange and you go,
Speaker 2: I don't even remember doing that. It's like just you know,
Speaker 2: I went like this, I don't know, and then I
Speaker 2: watch it. I go, when did I do this? And
Speaker 2: like my hand like that you have no memory of it.
Speaker 2: It's very strange, but it could because it means you're
Speaker 2: focused on the scene. You can't watch yourself, so you're
Speaker 2: doing stuff that you didn't even know you were doing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And but I mean what I do love is I
Speaker 2: love making people laugh. And I know I'm trying to
Speaker 2: be funny, and like you know, I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 2: didn't know. Of course, I'm trying to be funny and
Speaker 2: I'm trying to make them laugh. So it's very satisfying
Speaker 2: when they laugh. But you know what I don't like
Speaker 2: and stand up when I'm talking about something and they
Speaker 2: do it and it builds a belts and then they
Speaker 2: clap oh yeah, I'm like, no, no, I don't like that,
Speaker 2: because I'm not trying to make some like state political statement.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to make them laugh. No, I kind of
Speaker 3: feel the same way.
Speaker 2: I know what you I don't want to move into that,
Speaker 2: like you know, I'm on a soapbox and everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Agreement comedy, Yeah, I'm not into agreement comedy very
Speaker 1: much now.
Speaker 2: And then the other thing I realized was that I
Speaker 2: think you've maybe you've maybe you'll find this true. I
Speaker 2: don't know if you will because you're Scottish. That's true, right,
Speaker 2: Maybe it is a human being mm hm. When you
Speaker 2: you're making a point about something and you go, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm really getting through to these people and I'm making
Speaker 2: them see the light and I'll make them change their mind.
Speaker 2: And then you realize, no, you're not making them change
Speaker 2: it because as soon as they lead, they completely forget
Speaker 2: and you have no effect on that. You think it's
Speaker 2: important what you're saying, and you're changing the world, and
Speaker 2: then you go now and then you realize every comic
Speaker 2: probably thinks that, and and you know, now you're just
Speaker 2: kidding yourself.
Speaker 1: It's not They just want to laugh. I think that's true.
Speaker 1: I think most of the people that come to see
Speaker 1: stand up. They just want a good time. They just
Speaker 1: want to laugh, and that's all. And I'm fighting with that.
Speaker 1: That's a good deal.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then if you are making a point, they're
Speaker 2: laughing because they already agree with you. So you're not
Speaker 2: you're not changing anybody's mind.
Speaker 1: That's not true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I did it. You think, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: really changing their mind. And then you're now, oh I'm
Speaker 2: enlightened people now. No, no, no, no, you're not cry Hey,
Speaker 2: we're out of time, John, We're at the time.
Speaker 5: You have to go.
Speaker 1: You have to you have to go to.
Speaker 2: Another room because you're in your own house, so you
Speaker 2: actually don't have to go.
Speaker 1: We're out of time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to take a ship.
Speaker 1: I have to take a ship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're out of lime or you have to pay.
Speaker 3: We're out of time.
Speaker 2: We're hungry. No number twos, it's number twos. It's I
Speaker 2: have to poop all the time.
Speaker 1: I didn't I see a TikTok of you that went
Speaker 1: crazy and oh wait no, no, no wait, no, it's
Speaker 1: too late. I've done it not But didn't I see
Speaker 1: a TikTok for you when you were talking about pooping.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's so that it went crazy viral
Speaker 1: some thing about you talking about shipping yourself.
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 3: Very proud of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was No, I know, it's got to do
Speaker 2: what it was. It was, I was I was playing tennis.
Speaker 2: I played tennis with my teachers, and I was just
Speaker 2: goofing off, going, you know, and just saying the silly thing.
Speaker 2: And he goes, he goes, oh, you should record that.
Speaker 2: So I did and one of the one of the
Speaker 2: lines was I came in my head at the moment.
Speaker 2: So then I stopped and I started was on five
Speaker 2: second and I started laughing, and I go and I
Speaker 2: was just starting to post stuff on Instagram. I go,
Speaker 2: maybe shit posted, I go, I go, I can't post this.
Speaker 1: This is the end my career. Fuck it.
Speaker 2: So I posted it. It's the two point one million view.
Speaker 2: It's ridiculous. It's the most ridiculous.
Speaker 4: I go.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was talking with my tennis teacher about aging and
Speaker 2: I realized with aging comes confidence. For example, an hour ago,
Speaker 2: I shipped my pants and I'd yet to wipe because
Speaker 2: I am confident it will eventually dry out and cake off,
Speaker 2: cake off, it just stops. And then.
Speaker 1: That's what it was that's the one, all right, you're
Speaker 1: not going to beat that.
Speaker 2: Get out of here.
Speaker 1: It's lovely to talk to you again, John.
Speaker 3: Mike great, great seeing you again.
Speaker 1: Thank you. It's great to see you too. John. You're
Speaker 1: one of the funniest men in the world, nearly as
Speaker 1: funny as al Pacino.